Why high masking autistics are hilarious

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  • Опубліковано 21 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 90

  • @funniful
    @funniful 10 місяців тому +101

    We’ve been married 14 years now. I’ve just realized recently that my husband is probably autistic. We talked about it, and he agrees that it’s a very good possibility. Many of the reasons I fell in love with him are due to most of the things you mentioned. He’s quirky. He thinks outside the box. He is fun. He has a great sense of humor. He’s very creative. He’s very accepting. I wouldn’t change any of these things!

    • @ChrisandDebby
      @ChrisandDebby  10 місяців тому +11

      Love all of this!! It took us even longer than that 😂 sounds like your husband is a very special guy!!! And lucky to have someone who appreciates all these aspects of him 🥰

  • @MxBurke
    @MxBurke 10 місяців тому +42

    This makes me feel so much better about myself. Thank you!!!!!!!!

    • @ChrisandDebby
      @ChrisandDebby  10 місяців тому +3

      Thanks for this comment! And you deserve to feel great about yourself! 😁

  • @amytaddei8170
    @amytaddei8170 6 місяців тому +42

    I have a very dear friend that has Autism and ADHD. No matter what is going on with him, if I'm struggling with anything his first question is always "What can I do to help?". His main concern is to make things right again. I don't have that with anyone else.

  • @AngelCoyoteMusic
    @AngelCoyoteMusic 10 місяців тому +42

    Thank you for this! It feels refreshing to hear a complimentary perspective about autism.

    • @ChrisandDebby
      @ChrisandDebby  10 місяців тому +1

      So glad you enjoyed it!! And yes - lots of other great things to acknowledge too. 🥰 Any you’d add to this list?

    • @greenliter1
      @greenliter1 6 місяців тому +2

      @@ChrisandDebby I would like to add the fact that stemming, especially happy stemming, like the combo of happy hands and the happy squeal and the dance move I learned in 7th grade that looks between a hop and a skip….they bring me life. It allows me to feel like I can experience the joy fully from head to toes and in my chest and my hands. It’s a full body experience of joy! And I would not trade that for the world! I too am a very empathetic and loyal person, maybe too much. I’ve learned that I should be true to myself because the people who accept all of me will probably be the ones I can depend on for the rest of my life. The people I love, I truly would do anything for.

  • @bhutjolokia6990
    @bhutjolokia6990 10 місяців тому +29

    I just tried to explain all I deal with being Adhd/Autism on my FB page. One of the experiences I spoke about was how the only place I feel whole is hiking through the woods and the reason why it feels so good. All of the stimulaion all at the same time!! It is so serene and honestly feels euphoric, I can stand there and feel, hear, smell and see. My thoughts can be empty while sensing everything all at one time. Only 6 months unmasked fully and it's a struggle every day but the masking was hardwired in my brain so the transformation was intense for 7 days. So that being said I can no longer mask my autism because honestly I have no clue how🤔🤪🤣 although if i get angry my protector does come out front and center, that's my ADHD!! BEWARE!! He's seroius!!😳🤭 My autism stutters and stammers is smart as a whip and will rock back and forth while speaking to people. Honestly people close to me have said I'm like a totally different person. I present so different than a year ago. My ticking can be minimized just by thinking, writing or listening to music but as soon as my mind disengages it's back to ticking. As i get more comfortable with myself it's becoming easier to be myself. My girlfriends daughter is on the spectrum but she masks and told me i need to mask. I said, you don't understand what i went through it's not possible for me to mask anymore i don't know how but also i said I'm 58 and i have no reason to hide who i am. My 4 year old granddaughter was diagnosed with autism as a baby, she is pretty deep in her world and i have been there it's a beautiful place but i can't stay long because i could get lost. Anyway before i get lost in writing forever, thank you for giving your perspective, it really shows who you are. I am also an empath and genuine people shine through, it's not always easy but you can see the good and its nice to see that. Thank you!!👍😎👻🌶

  • @SelectiveMemories
    @SelectiveMemories 10 місяців тому +36

    Thank you so much for this! As an AudHDer, this is a much needed ego boost!

  • @jennieforsberg4415
    @jennieforsberg4415 8 місяців тому +47

    Me and my friend are living together since 20 years and we own a house together. He is gay, I am not. Many see our living together as a queer statement, and of course it could be. But in reality, we both are on the spectrum and we just have so much fun. The loyalty you talk about is absolutely true for both him and me. I cannot picture myself living with anyone else. My friend hates noise, and so do I. We don’t have a lot of household machines. Most of the time we don’t listen to music or have the tv on. We love a good wordgame and make-up nonsens songs about our cat. We are creative and always value being creative as more important than cleaning the house. So we have the same level of need to clean. We tend not to make such a fuzz about birthdays or festive hollidays. We rather stay at home than making great social efforts. We have wonderful friends and love us the way we are. We sing a LOT together. And play instruments, paint, draw, chrochet. He is into making miniature furnitures for his dollhouse, and his embroideries are to die for. When we sit down and talk it is amazing. We share our knowledge about all kinds of special interests. We talk about love, life and the importance of having fun. Life is too short not to live it to the fullest and in a way that makes us happy. We don’t follow trends, we don’t need to have all the stuff many people are craving, we are absolutely ignorant to any social status stuff, we care about children, but never ever wanted any of our own. We have a teenage kid that found us and comes to be with us since he is on the spectrum and he feels that with us he can be himself without any preasure or masking. I love my life to the fullest. And of course sometimes we are upset with eachother. Living together with someone on the spectrum can be a challenge, but for me there is nowwhere else I’d rather be than right here laughing with my friend. The loyalty, the honesty, the twisten sense of humor, the constant emotional support when facing every day struggles… it’s all there. And I love every minute of it!❤

    • @ChrisandDebby
      @ChrisandDebby  8 місяців тому +12

      This is such an amazing story. I loved it so much I read it twice and then read it out loud to my wife. It’s such a joy to hear about two autistics living a wonderful and happy life. I share so many of the values and lifestyle choices you mentioned and I wish more people were able to figure out what you have.
      What country do you and your best buddy live in?
      Thank you so much for sharing this. It brought a huge smile to my face and filled up my heart!

    • @ajaj4538
      @ajaj4538 6 місяців тому +7

      This is so wholesome. Your story just proves that family can be found, not just made.❤

    • @chiarabay9364
      @chiarabay9364 4 місяці тому +5

      Wow, I really envy you. I would love to find a friend like that! I don’t know anyone my (middle) age on the spectrum I particularly appreciate that you both like quiet.

    • @danielledegale6195
      @danielledegale6195 2 місяці тому

      Thank you for sharing this. It's so beautiful 😍 😭 ❤

  • @TinyCatSpoons
    @TinyCatSpoons 8 місяців тому +39

    I bought the cube. I enjoy the cube. The cube is love. The cube is life.
    Cube.

  • @TheLinneann
    @TheLinneann 7 місяців тому +14

    I have a 2yr old on the spectrum and already my life is richer because of sounds he hears that I don’t. I was missing a lot because of my old NT filters.
    He’s also really physical. I love rolling around on the ground with him and laughing, even though he accidentally kinda broke my nose once in the process.
    And the way he responds so intensely to silly sound effects I make. Chefs kiss! 👌
    I’m really curious to see how he grows and changes. I hope I can help him feel comfortable to be himself.

  • @neridafarrer4633
    @neridafarrer4633 10 місяців тому +14

    So nice to get the positive feedback! Me and my bestie are both AuDHDers and all of this is true!

    • @deathandcats
      @deathandcats 4 місяці тому +1

      Same for my bestie and me! BUT there is one tragedy - I love coffee, and she can't stand even the smell of it 😭😭 😂
      She's the best about making sure I can get my coffee, though. No one I know is as even remotely prepared to go out of their way like that for me. And that's why she's my BESTIE!!

  • @truhartwood3170
    @truhartwood3170 8 місяців тому +11

    Thank you! I have a ton of strengths and am generally a happy, grounded, kind, caring person but it's so hard for people to get past the uncanny valley and see that about me. It's always encouraging to see NTs who can see our strengths!

    • @ChrisandDebby
      @ChrisandDebby  8 місяців тому

      Really hoping that more people can understand this!! It can take time to find those people but they are out there 😊

  • @samamsterdam4301
    @samamsterdam4301 10 місяців тому +10

    The subject just happened to come up at a family dinner and everybody got a big laugh because I started explaining the difference between a purse and a handbag. It was a very proud moment for my Mom. Then I got a kick out of the fact that they got a kick out my interest in fashion.

  • @Grey_Warden_Invasion
    @Grey_Warden_Invasion 3 місяці тому +2

    10:00 While I'd say that's true for me I also have to add - it rather means I'd take a bullet for someone than go to a party. "Going through fire" as in "a situation where it actually matters" and not "I'm pointlessly wasting my time".

  • @Lady8D
    @Lady8D 3 місяці тому +1

    My wife & I have been together 21yrs this Dec, literally half our lives 🌈🥰 I'm AuDHD and many of the things you listed have been things she's also listed about her favorite aspects of me ❤ Made me happy to think you two just might be as happy together as we are 🎉

  • @StillthatguyJake
    @StillthatguyJake 10 місяців тому +7

    I love the balance ya'll offer on your channel! I've found myself regularly sharing your videos with people I'm close with (or even those who don't really understand Autism). I have a lot of fun watching you both and I appreciate your contribution to this space!

    • @ChrisandDebby
      @ChrisandDebby  10 місяців тому

      Thanks so much for the encouragement - so glad it’s connecting with you!! ❤️

    • @ChrisandDebby
      @ChrisandDebby  10 місяців тому

      Also if you have ideas or suggestions on things you’d love others to understand about autism, feel free to send them our way! Thanks for being here and for all the support 😁

  • @HomemakerDaze
    @HomemakerDaze 5 місяців тому +4

    One of the first positive videos I've seen. Thank you!

  • @lunaodemaris
    @lunaodemaris 8 місяців тому +6

    You describe us veryyyy accurately ❤ , and I think you are a very good person and life partner for taking the time to notice and appreciate all those good things, thank you for what you both do, I truly appreciate you both, you guys awesome blossom 🌸

  • @saraharnold8449
    @saraharnold8449 10 місяців тому +5

    I love y’all. Thank you for putting out this content.

  • @PhilBurns-oc2vg
    @PhilBurns-oc2vg 2 місяці тому +1

    The problem is finding someone that you trust enough before you can let them into your world

  • @annas3059
    @annas3059 8 місяців тому +18

    I really like this video. One small thing grates a bit for me, an AuDHD person - the clips of actors that are interspersed as examples. These all seem to show people acting neurotypical, eg with lots of eye contact, body language flowing freely. If I were you I'd just say your stuff (which is really helpful) and skip the stock video clips. Others may disagree though.

    • @kirstinline
      @kirstinline 8 місяців тому +12

      those stock clips are always so weird. i get taken out of the narration wondering about the jobbing actors involved in the scenrios.

    • @Silllywalks
      @Silllywalks 2 місяці тому +2

      ​@@kirstinline😂 that is funny. I have thought the same .. the camera man asking the actors to behave in certain ways.. I can understand tho making a video and not wanting to be the entire visual focus of it...

  • @SilverSomebody
    @SilverSomebody 3 місяці тому +1

    As someone who was recently diagnosed AuDHD and currently going through a divorce, I really needed this video 🙏🏼 thank you for reminding me I’m awesome 😎

  • @oregoniangal
    @oregoniangal 3 місяці тому

    Oh! Thank YOU for posting about relationship with someone with the tism!

  • @emanuelacarlamarabini8797
    @emanuelacarlamarabini8797 9 місяців тому +2

    Thank you so much for your video and for the great job you both are doing in sharing your experiences.
    Very very very helpful to get a wider view on relationships with neuro-diverse beloved ones.

  • @LuvLeighAn_
    @LuvLeighAn_ Місяць тому

    I am a homebody - I want to go out sometimes, but the thought of getting ready, driving and going there is a lot and I will talk in my head so much and that I just miss it. But I know that I need that vibe of being around people

  • @aeiel
    @aeiel 3 місяці тому +1

    I always ask if people want me to be honest with them when they ask my opinion to learn they actually didn't want that afterwards, so I've got used to expressing my opinion and massively sprinkling it with more pleasant descriptions right after

  • @AmericanTreeElf
    @AmericanTreeElf 6 місяців тому +6

    How do I find other autistic people to be friends with?

    • @angelinejohnson4111
      @angelinejohnson4111 2 місяці тому

      My local library has a meet up once a month for adults on the spectrum

  • @DonMarie-n3c
    @DonMarie-n3c 2 місяці тому +1

    I think a lot of the loyalty comes from familiarity. I know all the players on my favorite baseball team and also follow them once they move on. I feel like they are friends I don't have to deal with.
    My honesty comes out in sarcastic humor. People seem to take that well.

  • @skiziskin
    @skiziskin 5 місяців тому +3

    Food is definitely my love language. I don't enjoy cooking for myself anywhere near as much as I enjoy cooking for my allistic spouse. I make 100% of our breakfasts and dinners. We eat the same thing for dinner but I make two different breakfasts because she wants to eat Japanese breakfast and I have to have Mexican. For lunch we are each on our own. Her friends are all envious of her for having a husband who does all the cooking. But she says, "Yeah, but you don't have to live with him." It's a running joke between us. She accepts the ways my brain works but I have to appreciate that it isn't always easy because it can really seem like I am totally off my rocker--in a fun way.
    We have been married for twenty-nine years and now are retired and living in her home country. It's wonderful for me because nobody is worried that my brain works differently because I am so different in every other way as well so I'm all one funny, oddball package. I love it.

  • @teribartusek1125
    @teribartusek1125 9 місяців тому +1

    Thanks girl!! Wonderful insight! Great teamwork!!

  • @sandyc22
    @sandyc22 Місяць тому

    Debby…you’re the best💜

  • @geekpim
    @geekpim 6 місяців тому +2

    Hiking with ASD, my gal has learned, is that I notice EVERYTHING. Hey! There's a bunny! 😊 There's a deer over there! 🤫 Don't move, keep quiet - there's a bear over there...😮

  • @derrickdelmar4295
    @derrickdelmar4295 4 місяці тому

    Enjoyed the content, the Iron Parody awesome

  • @al.kenzie
    @al.kenzie 8 місяців тому +10

    Weird question I would ask on a non autistic channel, but could we have more of the little cartoons beside you or Debbie and less stock B roll? It drives me crazy that the things in the b roll aren't really what is being talked about. It seems... Not honest. Not that you are not, just that the picture isn't.

  • @malizee2264
    @malizee2264 4 місяці тому

    I believe my boyfriend and i both are... Our constant cycle is making plans... And then cancelling and staying in! 😊

  • @AutisticBarbie
    @AutisticBarbie 4 місяці тому

    Excited to hear what we are good at lol

  • @HomemakerDaze
    @HomemakerDaze 5 місяців тому

    I love our honesty and humour hehe

  • @trashboatmurray8956
    @trashboatmurray8956 4 місяці тому

    I always end up with a fellow person with asd

  • @TisticPhil
    @TisticPhil 9 місяців тому +1

    I have a hairstyle that belongs in the white jackets. I have a really hard time keeping up with it because I seldom think about it. I can catch my reflection in public and be like "omg! when did the jet engine hit me?!"😂😂😂

    • @ChrisandDebby
      @ChrisandDebby  9 місяців тому +1

      This made me laugh out loud! Chris is the same - I think it’s a very endearing quality and also helps me realize that if I go out with wild hair or something similar, it’s not that big of a deal 😂 plus it makes our morning routines pretty fast!

    • @TisticPhil
      @TisticPhil 9 місяців тому

      @@ChrisandDebby 😂😂😂 a speedy exit, and life goes on! 😂😅
      😲😮😮😮😮wait... I'm not the only one... That makes it a little more funnier. Took me a minute to realize...

  • @HomemakerDaze
    @HomemakerDaze 5 місяців тому +1

    I just bought me and son a needoh cube!! My hands are a bit sore from using it for hours hehe

  • @mrfiddle7578
    @mrfiddle7578 6 місяців тому

    Amazing video ❤❤❤

  • @EsmereldaPea
    @EsmereldaPea 4 місяці тому

    Oh hey! I've heard a lot about you. Nice to "meet" you!

  • @LuvLeighAn_
    @LuvLeighAn_ Місяць тому

    I do not think of telling people that I care or like them, so I rather make things or buy them things

  • @anjachan
    @anjachan 10 місяців тому +6

    my inner world is a anime world 😂
    you don´t smell nature? That´s a thing I love about nature 👃🌳

    • @faeriesmak
      @faeriesmak 10 місяців тому +2

      Oh..the smells. So wonderful. Those and the gentle sounds of the breeze through the grasses.

    • @anjachan
      @anjachan 10 місяців тому

      @@faeriesmak yeah 🥰

    • @ChrisandDebby
      @ChrisandDebby  10 місяців тому +2

      I don’t generally notice smells that often, especially out in nature where it’s subtle and sometimes I’m not paying attention to it. But for Chris, it seems so powerful that it’s amazing when my attention is drawn to it. Like the devilwood he has described - it’s faint enough and I’m usually walking fast enough or thinking of other things that I might have never even noticed it without him literally stopping in his tracks to breathe it all in 🥰

    • @ChrisandDebby
      @ChrisandDebby  10 місяців тому +1

      Also would be interested in hearing more about this anime world in your brain! Sounds like a fun spot 🤩

    • @anjachan
      @anjachan 10 місяців тому +1

      @@ChrisandDebby don´t know how to explain it xD

  • @tylerherchian7167
    @tylerherchian7167 9 місяців тому

    Brilliant 🎉🎉🎉🎉

  • @jdmmg4904
    @jdmmg4904 2 місяці тому

  • @paulahardin3420
    @paulahardin3420 9 місяців тому

    My boyfriend who is 61, I’m almost positive has autism but he doesn’t really want to talk about out it much like your husband did. There are some very “anesthesia” qualities he has, also, the child like wonder of things and the sensory thing smells and of course he has intense hearing. Can’t stand a potato chip bag wadded up. The thing I have so much trouble with is the brutal honesty. Telling me I need to put on some make up , that I can;t play keyboard as good as he does guitar because I don;t practice. I feel he puts me down and disrespects me. But when I try to explain it to him, he doesn’t “agent it” of why I get my feelings hurt. Do you have these issues to deal with? And if so how do you keep from getting your feelings hurt?

    • @ChrisandDebby
      @ChrisandDebby  9 місяців тому +14

      Chris here - I am also brutally honest at times with Debby. Most of my honesty comes out when Debby is asking me a question, so her perspective is 'if I'm going to ask, better be prepared for the answer.' Sometimes though, I am honest with her about things that I notice or bother me, and I can tell my words hurt her. When this happens, it hurts my insides because Debby is my best buddy and I never want to hurt her feelings. It happens a lot less now, because she's pretty good at telling me when I'm being a bit of a jerk and I try to make changes. It takes work on both of our parts because we have such different ways of communicating, but it's definitely worth it. Nobody is perfect, but you can always get better!

  • @LuvLeighAn_
    @LuvLeighAn_ Місяць тому

    I try making jokes but no one gets them, but they laugh at stuff that is not funny. I do not get it
    And I do not get jokes but if I do I tell people they have a good joke. But if I drink then I can laugh more often. My life as a foster kid and before has taught me to hide inside myself.

  • @eshanhembrom6633
    @eshanhembrom6633 8 місяців тому +5

    Single men take a note, level up your humor game

    • @geekpim
      @geekpim 6 місяців тому +1

      I'm funny as hell! My gal of almost 30 years said that my funny was what pulled her in. But my ability to COOK was what locked it in. So, single guys - learn how to cook. It doesn't have to be a lot, just don't avoid the kitchen.

  • @cmymotion
    @cmymotion 4 місяці тому

    Amy!

  • @M.Shepardbee
    @M.Shepardbee 8 місяців тому

    These videos are good. But if you had more insight into the aulistic p.o.v. that would be great. Because I'm like... Yea... Of course he doesn't agree with something if he doesn't agree with it wth else are you supposed to do? What do you do if someone says something you don't agree with?

  • @VanessaMarieBooks
    @VanessaMarieBooks 6 місяців тому

    As someone with audhd, I feel like I have to be honest and say that this video is nice, but not exactly what I was expecting. What about the traits that specifically relate to ADHD or Audhd? The whole video just focused on autistic traits and the positives that come with being in a relationship with an autistic person, which is fine, but then why put ADHD/audhd in the title of the video? That feels misleading. I was expecting to hear more about traits that are specific to audhders that makes them awesome, but instead just got autistic traits.

    • @ChrisandDebby
      @ChrisandDebby  6 місяців тому +4

      Sorry this video didn’t meet your expectations. We appreciate the feedback. Going to post a video on AuDHD in the next few weeks. It discusses a lot about the adhd side. We think you’ll love it!😊

  • @Silllywalks
    @Silllywalks 2 місяці тому

    I think jerry seinfeld and Larry David both identify as ASD. Or is larry david a narcissist? Im not sure. Im just saying, yes, feeling constantly out of place and perceiving the nuances of where u dont fit can be very funny and so much a part of daily reality.

  • @nattance1
    @nattance1 8 місяців тому

    Oh, please tone down the vocal fry! I'd really like to hear your ideas!!

  • @BrotherBadger123
    @BrotherBadger123 4 місяці тому

    0:26 I LOVE my Fidget Toys, it's a bit Annoying trying to Explain their Importance to those Who just Don't get it. The First Time the Spinners came Out I Started Collecting, They were a MUST have Item. I have about 15 different Types, and of Course different Shapes, and Colors. 😎💪

  • @BrotherBadger123
    @BrotherBadger123 4 місяці тому

    Yes, We can keep Things Pretty Fun, it's Important to have a Sense of Humor and make sure those Who are not Autistic Truly Understand What's going on. Sometimes my Quirks will Subconsciously kick in and People Who KNOW Me will Silently Watch and See if I suddenly Realize What I just did. If I do We just Laugh it off. 🤪🤣

    • @gdwe1831
      @gdwe1831 4 місяці тому

      Why all the double spacing....