Love takes risk. If someone is too afraid to take a risk then they won't find love. If you want a guarentee buy a refrigerator. I used to have intimacy issues and i got tired of not finding love. So i dealt with my issues and took more chances and learned no one is as hard on me as myself. So i stopped being so hard on myself and learned to have fun. Courage isn't the absence of fear it's the management of fear. So manage your fear and keep looking for that special person. :)
Because I needed this reminder everyday & I thought some of you might, too: "Life is amazing. And then it's awful. And then it's amazing again. And in between the amazing and the awful it's ordinary and mundane and routine. Breath in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. That's just living heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life. And it's breathtakingly beautiful" If you are more fortunate than others, build a longer table not a taller fence. 😌🙏 Thank you Susan! You've been sent by God as an instrument for me to radiate positivity...from the Philippines 🇵🇭 with love 😘😘😘
I'm old enough to have suffered some severe losses in love. Some after long relationships. Painful isn't a strongest enough adjective. However, if you don't feel enough pain that you will never experience enough pleasure. You have a choice as to whether or not you choose to step onto the "field of love" and play the game (not literally). Right now, I am more vulnerable than ever, but experience more joy than ever. I'll take the risk of a bloody nose or broken heart any day of the week. And, that game/playing field, is a gift.
Love this talk on having a fearless heart! The word courage comes from the french word coeur, which means heart. If you want love, you gotta open your heart. And being mature means we can handle hurt, rejection, etc, because we've had lots of practice opening our heart, getting hurt - in some cases, devastated - and not only surviving, but becoming stronger in ourselves. Not rigid or shut down from fear, but strong in the ability to open our heart without the illusions that so often accompany romance. Well said, Susan!
Just today, sitting on a bench in the park with my bf, I was asking myself this question: Is my fear based on some unreasonable insecurity of mine or is it based on some "wise", natural instinct I should listen to. And here you are, with this topic, and I understood, that the question I should ask myself is not, what kind of fear I should trust, but is fear to trust at all. Thank you Susan.
Thank you - this message is giving me life today! It feels like we've normalized sh!tty dating and relationship behavior so much that when we actually try to drop the walls, stop playing the games and show up as open, vulnerable adults who want to find and make a true connection, we're faced with this type of b.s. At least that's what I've been faced with recently - or maybe it's just a side effect of dating in NYC. It's like, wait a minute, you LITERALLY asked for all of this and now you're acting like it's too much and what's going on and why is this moving so fast and where's my freedom. So for me, loving without fear means accepting that not everyone you lose is a loss - even though it's super hard getting there emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, etc. Just trying to do my best, live fearlessly (not foolishly) and without regret. #peace✌️
This video came at the perfect time as this week I’ve been unusually afraid of taking a risk on a man who might “ hurt me”. I will view this a couple more times.
Susan, I like to use Lord Tennyson's saying probably to often....'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all....it speaks to us in volumes as your video just did...life is not sure as love is not sure...but we keep on breathing....so we should keep on loving...thanks for all your wealth of knowledge Susan!
Finding you has been absolutely life altering for me, thank you for always being honest even when it may not be what people want to hear. Your direct approach to things has inspired me to do the same in my life and I feel solid and stable in who I am and what I am looking for.
I’m not afraid of getting hurt. I have this anxiety of what happens as I am showing up. I found this wonderful man and I was doing great until I realized he was pushing forward and really interested. It’s more like a feeling I could mess something great up. I feel like I don’t know what to do next.
Just beautiful wisdom thanks Susan. I’ve taken a chance and trusted my intuition and inner guidance and being fearless has uncovered a wonderful opportunity for growth and excitement. I love your content, it’s real and honest and deeply grounded. Blessings 🎀🌸
Yes, I agree you must risk to derive reward. However, I think it’s more the reason why people are so afraid which is puzzling to me. It goes back to “anxious attachment” versus “avoidant attachment” versus “secure attachment” types. If the person is in the anxious or avoidant type, they are incapable resolving their fear of attachment. In order to be secure, you have to intensely practice self-affirmations and work on your self worth to come out of this state and the fear will subside. Once you address your self-worth and your fear subsides, you will love yourself so much that your fear of loss will no longer paralyze your progress in achieving emotional intimacy. I’ve experienced this first hand.
Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant. I've watched this video three times and now want to transcribe it that I can read and assimilate your profound wisdom. Thank you Susan. I'm time and again blessed by your wisdom that you so freely share. May you be richly blessed in return.
Wonderful video! Especially the part about making it your own, and keeping your experience as yours....I have never heard that before!! Very profound, I hope you speak more on that in future videos!
The "its beyond me" part has happened to me numerous times. It really feels disheartening for me and now I don't shy away from love but I really like the idea of not admiring love. Why? Yes, you get hurt but some others just don't understand when to call it quits with the BS and just be themselves.
Why? Because many of us have anxiety or PTSD. We want and desire relationship and deep connection but we get triggered by all of the uncertainty. Your input is good, but it kind of washes over the reality of what is going on with most people in these times. These times of great uncertainty. Thank you.
I think her point is that you’re going to get hurt. Don’t let it get to you. I have a ton of trauma from relationships and other things, but I don’t let it hold me back from moving on to the next person. If you let your fears get to you, then maybe you don’t want love as much
I’m not even that afraid of just the pain you feel inside when you’ve lost someone important and you miss them. I’m afraid of the emotional pain of feeling like I should’ve known better than to ever think that something this wonderful could possibly last. Afraid to feel stupid, essentially. Must be an ego thing? I liked the part when you mentioned it’s only foolishness if you go about it naïvely, but it isn’t really foolish if you try something while being well-aware of the risks.
Fear is natural at times, only it shouldn't take over the feelings of one another together, so as to keep the strong bond... If a guy is just into exploring options, do they realize the pain they have given to the other person leaving one into sleepless nights thinking if I did something to drive him away 😨😨😨
I have watched a lot of your videos thru out different situations i faced in my life , I want to thank you , you have a way of explaining things that are understood to me
Wow you are the best coach. I bet you could save people thousands of dollars they spent on the impractical psychologists out there. Great advice. I'll share this with my friends.
Hello again Susan! Your advice is spot on as always, and yes I think most of your viewers are level headed, fabulous individuals, just like your good self, but why oh why do I keep attracting guys - lovely guys - that have numerous 'hurt' issues, I just can't fix all their problems anymore? Thank you for 'all your wonderful advice...it helps me keep my sanity...hee hee
I find it so intriguing that when we think about love (Especially new love or prospective love), our first feeling (It seems) is so often fear. That we open ourselves to hurt. I love this video :)
Two powerful four letter words fear and love in juxtaposition. If I may add , vulnerability is the price of intimacy. Confession is the price of trust.
I will always show up in dating… it gets me hurt and disappointed , because people are afraid that I am so not afraid lol… but it’s worth it to me. It helps me weed out the good ones, even if My fingers are bleeding cus of some thorns, it’s a necessary evil
I so LOVE the football analogy lol! I have realized years ago that relationships and sports are VERY similar to each other. I have been using them to explain various aspects of relationships. Your football analogy here in this video I WILL be using it for my explanations regarding relationships! So thank you very much lol! I will credit you for it when I can too.
Where is the line between fearfulness and foolishness? I was dating a girl whom I had a lot of history with but who also had a lot of insecurities and would lash out, make accusations, or just withdraw and avoid conflict. There was no resolution/closure between us and I’d like to try and sit down and talk, but I’m hesitant because I’m afraid of getting hurt again. Is this foolishness or just fear of being hurt?
Thanks Susan! What a coincidence that you're posting this. Yesterday a guy i really like asked me not in a very serious tone, when are we going to formalize our relationship. And for some reason, I'm always afraid to open up cause I feel its too soon.. It's like a defense mechanism and i dont like the fact that i tend to analyze how i am feeling... you've explained it very well. Maybe I should open up a little bit to him next time. X
How to heal from a past hurt that made you become partial in your relationship or marriage to where you love them but they love you more and you know it but your scared to just let go of being guarded because that's what makes you feel safe
Bravo! Thank you, Susan Winter for inspiring the fearlessness and the profound insights. Marcel Proust comes to mind re the love within etc. From "heartbroken on a Greek Island" after an unrequited love story but still fearless ;) at age 60 plus :)
There is this thought of being fearless and go for it and then there is a whole lot of dating games, heartbreak healing etc. Which path do you take? Love shouldn't be so hard.
Don’t be afraid to get hurt or else you will end up hurt anyway and with a lot less love and experience.
Sooooo true.
Get over it or run with the winds
Love takes risk. If someone is too afraid to take a risk then they won't find love. If you want a guarentee buy a refrigerator. I used to have intimacy issues and i got tired of not finding love. So i dealt with my issues and took more chances and learned no one is as hard on me as myself. So i stopped being so hard on myself and learned to have fun. Courage isn't the absence of fear it's the management of fear. So manage your fear and keep looking for that special person. :)
Good advice/comment.
thank you for commenting this! inspires me to manage my fears
I think you're the best reasoning dating coach on You Tube.
Definitely.👍
Beautiful compliment. Thank you.
Susan Winter I’ve have searched abs searched . How can I email you a question across .
Kind regards
Tracy ( England )
Soo true ❤️👍
yes, true!
Absolutely best dating coach on UA-cam. No nonsense, no games, just real and authentic!
Because I needed this reminder everyday & I thought some of you might, too:
"Life is amazing. And then it's awful. And then it's amazing again. And in between the amazing and the awful it's ordinary and mundane and routine. Breath in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. That's just living heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life. And it's breathtakingly beautiful"
If you are more fortunate than others, build a longer table not a taller fence. 😌🙏
Thank you Susan! You've been sent by God as an instrument for me to radiate positivity...from the Philippines 🇵🇭 with love 😘😘😘
ABIGAIL LEGASPI i love this
ABIGAIL LEGASPI perfect
Thank you! This is very inspiring!
I'm old enough to have suffered some severe losses in love. Some after long relationships. Painful isn't a strongest enough adjective. However, if you don't feel enough pain that you will never experience enough pleasure. You have a choice as to whether or not you choose to step onto the "field of love" and play the game (not literally). Right now, I am more vulnerable than ever, but experience more joy than ever. I'll take the risk of a bloody nose or broken heart any day of the week. And, that game/playing field, is a gift.
Love this talk on having a fearless heart! The word courage comes from the french word coeur, which means heart. If you want love, you gotta open your heart. And being mature means we can handle hurt, rejection, etc, because we've had lots of practice opening our heart, getting hurt - in some cases, devastated - and not only surviving, but becoming stronger in ourselves. Not rigid or shut down from fear, but strong in the ability to open our heart without the illusions that so often accompany romance. Well said, Susan!
This brings a whole new meaning to, “Why do fools fall in love?”. You are so right, what an enlightening perspective. Thank you! 💕
Just today, sitting on a bench in the park with my bf, I was asking myself this question: Is my fear based on some unreasonable insecurity of mine or is it based on some "wise", natural instinct I should listen to. And here you are, with this topic, and I understood, that the question I should ask myself is not, what kind of fear I should trust, but is fear to trust at all. Thank you Susan.
wow, this is so powerful x
Yes. A constant question of mine....is this my gut or is this just insecure anxious attachment?
I liked the part about 'keeping it', owning it', and override the fear of being hurt.
Thank you - this message is giving me life today! It feels like we've normalized sh!tty dating and relationship behavior so much that when we actually try to drop the walls, stop playing the games and show up as open, vulnerable adults who want to find and make a true connection, we're faced with this type of b.s. At least that's what I've been faced with recently - or maybe it's just a side effect of dating in NYC. It's like, wait a minute, you LITERALLY asked for all of this and now you're acting like it's too much and what's going on and why is this moving so fast and where's my freedom. So for me, loving without fear means accepting that not everyone you lose is a loss - even though it's super hard getting there emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, etc. Just trying to do my best, live fearlessly (not foolishly) and without regret. #peace✌️
This video came at the perfect time as this week I’ve been unusually afraid of taking a risk on a man who might “ hurt me”. I will view this a couple more times.
Risk it and be pround of your actions. Feel love or get rejected but be proud of yourself trying. ❤️
Out of all the dating coaches on UA-cam, you're my absolute favorite! Thank you so much, you've been such a huge help in my life. :)
Susan, I like to use Lord Tennyson's saying probably to often....'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all....it speaks to us in volumes as your video just did...life is not sure as love is not sure...but we keep on breathing....so we should keep on loving...thanks for all your wealth of knowledge Susan!
Finding you has been absolutely life altering for me, thank you for always being honest even when it may not be what people want to hear. Your direct approach to things has inspired me to do the same in my life and I feel solid and stable in who I am and what I am looking for.
I'm watching this 3years later in 2021 & it's SOOO good!!!
I’m not afraid of getting hurt. I have this anxiety of what happens as I am showing up. I found this wonderful man and I was doing great until I realized he was pushing forward and really interested. It’s more like a feeling I could mess something great up. I feel like I don’t know what to do next.
Brava Susan, brava!! You're truly outstanding. Thank you.
Thank you Christine!
Just beautiful wisdom thanks Susan. I’ve taken a chance and trusted my intuition and inner guidance and being fearless has uncovered a wonderful opportunity for growth and excitement. I love your content, it’s real and honest and deeply grounded. Blessings 🎀🌸
Your wisdom is True Treasure Trove. Period.
"I've come to feel alive!" Exactly how love makes you feel. Thank you so much for your guidance. The best hands down.
Yes, I agree you must risk to derive reward. However, I think it’s more the reason why people are so afraid which is puzzling to me. It goes back to “anxious attachment” versus “avoidant attachment” versus “secure attachment” types. If the person is in the anxious or avoidant type, they are incapable resolving their fear of attachment. In order to be secure, you have to intensely practice self-affirmations and work on your self worth to come out of this state and the fear will subside. Once you address your self-worth and your fear subsides, you will love yourself so much that your fear of loss will no longer paralyze your progress in achieving emotional intimacy. I’ve experienced this first hand.
Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant. I've watched this video three times and now want to transcribe it that I can read and assimilate your profound wisdom. Thank you Susan. I'm time and again blessed by your wisdom that you so freely share. May you be richly blessed in return.
Beautifully explained. Thank you!
Wonderful video! Especially the part about making it your own, and keeping your experience as yours....I have never heard that before!! Very profound, I hope you speak more on that in future videos!
Thank you for the kind words.
Susan, thank you ALWAYS for your inspiring videos! They always lift me up and put things in perspective!!
The "its beyond me" part has happened to me numerous times. It really feels disheartening for me and now I don't shy away from love but I really like the idea of not admiring love. Why? Yes, you get hurt but some others just don't understand when to call it quits with the BS and just be themselves.
Thank you so much for this Susan, I have been experiencing this fear of getting hurt.
You are so welcome
No one could have said it better! Thank you Susan Winters 🙏🏻
Why? Because many of us have anxiety or PTSD. We want and desire relationship and deep connection but we get triggered by all of the uncertainty. Your input is good, but it kind of washes over the reality of what is going on with most people in these times. These times of great uncertainty. Thank you.
I think her point is that you’re going to get hurt. Don’t let it get to you. I have a ton of trauma from relationships and other things, but I don’t let it hold me back from moving on to the next person. If you let your fears get to you, then maybe you don’t want love as much
This woman and her insights are truly magnificent. Thank you for your wisdom and clarity Susan!
I’m not even that afraid of just the pain you feel inside when you’ve lost someone important and you miss them. I’m afraid of the emotional pain of feeling like I should’ve known better than to ever think that something this wonderful could possibly last. Afraid to feel stupid, essentially. Must be an ego thing?
I liked the part when you mentioned it’s only foolishness if you go about it naïvely, but it isn’t really foolish if you try something while being well-aware of the risks.
I’m so glad I found you. Your wisdom sense and love shared are amazing x
More on this!! So needed
Watching these videos always lifts me up, thank you for sharing your words with us ❤️
Good. Today I took a step via my intermediary a minister to pay my friend a deserved compliment for some music played in church. Wow. Hooray for me!
Thank you susan, I will try all the advice, its very empowerring. to have absolute freedom, to love without fear of hurt.
We luv ya, Susan!
They psychologically abuses me for years they fed me bullshit for years then wonder why a person goes sick
I think this one message is what every person needs to hear and master in life!
Thank you very much, Susan! This is really helpful information....
Fear is natural at times, only it shouldn't take over the feelings of one another together, so as to keep the strong bond... If a guy is just into exploring options, do they realize the pain they have given to the other person leaving one into sleepless nights thinking if I did something to drive him away 😨😨😨
Thanks Susan. Your videos help me to keep a "logical" approach to this. I tend to get in my own head about it...I'm my own worst enemy, lol...
I have watched a lot of your videos thru out different situations i faced in my life , I want to thank you , you have a way of explaining things that are understood to me
This is an amazing message! Thank you Susan!!!
Wow you are the best coach. I bet you could save people thousands of dollars they spent on the impractical psychologists out there. Great advice. I'll share this with my friends.
Hello again Susan! Your advice is spot on as always, and yes I think most of your viewers are level headed, fabulous individuals, just like your good self, but why oh why do I keep attracting guys - lovely guys - that have numerous 'hurt' issues, I just can't fix all their problems anymore? Thank you for 'all your wonderful advice...it helps me keep my sanity...hee hee
Ms. Winter
You are really, truly good at this!
I find it so intriguing that when we think about love (Especially new love or prospective love), our first feeling (It seems) is so often fear. That we open ourselves to hurt. I love this video :)
you are so right-the thing is we don`t know how it`s going to pan out-maybe we get rejected again....or what`s the key to make it work
Rock on Susan!! Cool video!
Susan, you made me laugh and cry in the first minute of this video. Thank you so much for creating this.
you're so brilliant Susan!!
So appreciate this.
Thank you.
Perfect timing. Thank you for the empowerment.
You are the BEST ‼️💗 Like omg. I felt like I was literally sitting in front of you.
You're the best Susan.
Two powerful four letter words fear and love in juxtaposition. If I may add , vulnerability is the price of intimacy. Confession is the price of trust.
How can you add a negative comment? This is so constructive, really
Express what you feel then you will be free
I think this should be mandatory viewing for every man and woman.
Golden wisdom presented in the most practical way ever!!! Susan, thank you yet again 🙏🙏
Love this & a very timely reminder just at the right time 🙏🌟
I will always show up in dating… it gets me hurt and disappointed , because people are afraid that I am so not afraid lol… but it’s worth it to me. It helps me weed out the good ones, even if My fingers are bleeding cus of some thorns, it’s a necessary evil
I so LOVE the football analogy lol! I have realized years ago that relationships and sports are VERY similar to each other. I have been using them to explain various aspects of relationships. Your football analogy here in this video I WILL be using it for my explanations regarding relationships! So thank you very much lol! I will credit you for it when I can too.
Wow! Susan in charge! Tough task, wonder if anyone can do it... Anyone? Speak now!
Thank you for creating this video. I needed to hear this. ❤
Wonderful and well thought out presentation. Thank you :)
This is gold. Thank you
I LOVE ALL YOUR VIDEOS SUSAN! Thank you thank you thank you. God bless you. 💙
Hello Susan good video and information , we don't fear night time that part and after is profound. Thank you.
Makes a lot of sense x
What a bright & smart perspective! Thank you Susan.
You have changed my life..
Thank you mam
God bless you..
From India 🌸😘
Where is the line between fearfulness and foolishness? I was dating a girl whom I had a lot of history with but who also had a lot of insecurities and would lash out, make accusations, or just withdraw and avoid conflict. There was no resolution/closure between us and I’d like to try and sit down and talk, but I’m hesitant because I’m afraid of getting hurt again. Is this foolishness or just fear of being hurt?
What a brilliant lesson on love & life
🙏❤️🌈 amazing explanation in healthy choice enabling way. Love you Susan.
Thanks Susan! What a coincidence that you're posting this. Yesterday a guy i really like asked me not in a very serious tone, when are we going to formalize our relationship. And for some reason, I'm always afraid to open up cause I feel its too soon.. It's like a defense mechanism and i dont like the fact that i tend to analyze how i am feeling... you've explained it very well. Maybe I should open up a little bit to him next time. X
How to heal from a past hurt that made you become partial in your relationship or marriage to where you love them but they love you more and you know it but your scared to just let go of being guarded because that's what makes you feel safe
Thank you Susan!🌺
In the highest regard…. God I love you!!!
Thank you so much Susan 😌
Bravo! Thank you, Susan Winter for inspiring the fearlessness and the profound insights. Marcel Proust comes to mind re the love within etc. From "heartbroken on a Greek Island" after an unrequited love story but still fearless ;) at age 60 plus :)
Thank you, dear Susan.
Thank you I really needed to hear these words
Glad it was helpful!
Susan, you are such a help to so many! Thanks!
You are the best, Susan! Such a insightful and helpful video!❤🙏.
Thank you Susan, a real inspiration and someone I can look up too!
You are my sunshine - Thank you so much for such an enlightment Xoxo I have no words - your IQ is oh hiiiigh so sky hiiiigh!!! X
i would say both IQ and EQ are very high for Susan !
Thank you dear Adventure Tube!!
Zhang, you're kind. Big hug!!
its realy positive
Thank you I so needed this. 💖
thank you so much for sharing this wisdom
Thr is spring again 😍😍😍
You always give healthy advice. Thank you dear awesome lady. 💜
There is this thought of being fearless and go for it and then there is a whole lot of dating games, heartbreak healing etc. Which path do you take? Love shouldn't be so hard.
Asome message, just what I need to hear to motivate myself.
2:38 real talk!
Thank you!!
I really love your videos, so helpful, thank you so much Susan🤗
you help me to be stronger 😍 thank susan
Omg wow this is so well put. Thank you