Wait... Maybe I Wrote the Worst Book of All Time
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- Опубліковано 19 бер 2019
- Character spelling guide:
Mary Sue
Benson Ovarton
Zephyr Pedestriac
Gemori
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i guess caleb was the problematic author all along.
bree big brain 😔
Of course, of course.
The country is Arlington, the planet is Texas
Dammit Bobby, I tell you hwat
Their main exports are propane and propane accessories.
Or Virginia
my first thought
Or northern Virginia, which is often shortened to NoVA, which would honestly tie in nicely with the title and interstellar theme of the book 🤔😂
“women are people, too. cheers erupt” this is like one of those old obviously fake tumblr stories that end with “and everyone clapped”
safer apocalypse IM SCREAMING
plot twist she was just hallucinating the whole time instead on this planet
EXACTLY.
"maybe I wrote the worst book of all time" me whenever I write
same
me sis
Tara Jones same
Tara Jones
Same
@ilovewolvesandweirdthings123 oof (same and now I feel bad)
*Mary Sue:* I don't dance with jerks!
*Also Mary Sue:* I don't want any dirty poor people at my party
Mels AHAH ! SO TRUE 🤣🤣
SCREAMING
#thisistheplottoTheMaskofRedDeathbyEdgarAllanPoe
Irmak Unsal omfg XD
Mary sue: No Jerks
And no peasants.
yeah... i remember when my daughter dyed her hair and i almost killed her bc i thought she was an intruder
and then she hit me in the head!
And then everybody clapped
Relatable, amrite?
And you also had a secret daughter with the evil notgay alien.
Maybe she knew it was Mary Sue but because she despised Mary Sue, she pretended that she didn't know her so she can finally kill her off...if you ask me, Caleb is a genius.
Mary Sue: Saving people from feminism since 2013
Someone's gotta do it, amirite?
Okay but little thirteen year old me would have been all about this book.
shame 😭
kasey _
I mean I-
Same.
handbook for mortals is quaking
(secretly the main character's name is Zaid)
Dalton Ascone I love that you wrote TRIED in caps! Yes, he did 😂😂😂
That's what I was thinking!
Onision is quaking
bahahahahah
""off the top of my head,,, *mary sue* "" im crying, this is every writers'middle school mood
tbh
Too real
"In my life, I've been alone so much that it feels like my entire life, I've been alone," -Benson Ovarton
23:08 for anyone looking
Honestly, mood
r/im14andthisisdeep
Smile. Put it back in the bottom desk drawer. Giggle a bit cause that was fun and start reassuring yourself that you have become a better writer.
"I was right before Wakaba died... She told me, I think I might die."
I’m crying. Homeboy really wrote a villain who works in a shop called “Dresses for Women”. I stan retail villainy 👏
Maybe the real evil all along... Was capitalism?
👏🏼Wattpad👏🏼wants👏🏼this👏🏼story👏🏼the👏🏼next👏🏼”After”👏🏼movie👏🏼deal👏🏼
OMG the stuff with the stuff i've seen on wattpad i wouldn't be suprised
honestly, this probably could have been published in 2013
2013 was a problematic year xD
A problematic and memorable year lmao
My favorite year
The peak of minecraft?
Just imagine if this was published
"I killed your parents, they're dead. The barban ate them and now they're evil and they're dead" this cracked me up 😂
It has like three double negatives in it, it's ironically amazing
Benson survived two deaths but Mary Sue's parents survived being killed And two deaths, apparently. Truly impressive
evil lady: oh no I don’t have a last name! Whatever will I-
14 year old Caleb, having just seen a ‘Pedestrians Crossing’ sign: 👁👄👁
Liv Brown its free real estate 👀
i’ve been laughing at this for 10 minutes like actually i don’t know why maybe it’s because i haven’t slept in like a week but uh ha ha idk
More like 👁️‿‿👁️
"Hello! You all know me, I'm Princess Mary Sue!" im wheezing
oh we know her, alright
Zenith + Handbook for Mortals + Romeo and Juliet = Ruler Of the Stars
"In my life, I've felt alone so much that it feels like my entire life I've been alone" 10/10
😂
godly line
oh no... oh no no no... I have to stop reading it, because every time I do it makes more and more sense!
ReLaTaBlE content.
when ur trying to up an essay word count
Like the fact the king and queen dont even recognize their own daughter is same level cringe as abducted in plain sight
Lauren N SKSK TRUE
Maybe the Queen DOES recognize her but wants her killed anyway because of that thing that happened with the King.
Maybe that's forshadowing the revelation that Mary and Zephyr are identical twins.
@@Mecharnie_Dobbs Well... someone has to stan this story when Caleb won't
That sarcasm btw in case anyone takes it the wrong way
I respect Mary Sue because she'd rather die than not commit to that role and isn't that what makes a great actress?
"She's lying there, *Jesus-style*" PLEASE rewrite this story to have that line in there im dying
this is the feminism equivalent of what green book did for racism
I- shsjkfkfkg
Green book?
why is this sort of accurate???
@@junejean1038 could you explain pls?
leányka kicsi it’s a movie
Benson - I love it when the villain’s name sounds like something you’d call a suburban golden retriever. 😊
SHAHSJSJASJ the soccer moms dog
So, Benson from funhaus? :D
The evil... the vile... sir spotty
"Benson... Benson! Come on dear we need to stop kidnapping princesses!"
Haha I actually know someone with a suburban Golden Retriever called Benson
did you write the worst book or the best 1:19:09 feature film
the latter
@@rattling.casket But why not both?
He gets a Razzy and an Oscar
Writing YA parodies since 2013:)
ahahahahaha true it's about as long as a movie :'D
I was watching this and chuckling to myself and I get to "I smally scream" and I hear my boyfriend in the other room CACKLING
Underrated comment.
This book connects people
I would like your comment but it’s at 420 likes and I feel that’s appropriate
The scream I smally scrumpt 😩
when zephyr is his daughter and your life is a lie
_that's jamore_
😂😂😂😂
When the moon hits your eye
Like a big pizza pie
_macklemoré_
This roflm
When you're down by the sea and an eel bites your knee,
That's a moray.
When you go on a show to test if you're the dad yes or no
That's a Maury
Don’t you just hate it when evil villains tweet hate mail at you😣
“I don’t know why this planet sounds like, some like, Italian seasoning.”
"Benson"
*Dramatic music*
*Terrified screaming*
*Children crying*
*Dumbledore quaking*
that name strikes fear in the hearts of even the bravest
pissing myself at the concept of this intergalactic supervillain working at what is essentially space topshop AND GETTING A NAME BADGE WITH HIS ACTUAL NAME
me as a thirteen yr old writer: double spaced, indented, cover page, page numbers
me now: comic sans, barely separates paragraphs, spellcheck whomst??
God, do I feel this 😂🙌
The regression from MLA Format to absolute chaos
I'm still the former and I'm 19 aaahhh it makes me feel better about myself lmao 😂
*enters in Grammarly* *loses all formatting* *huffs and goes back to crappy grammar instead of trying to fix it* 😂
Me as a 13 year old color coded dialog and character action pink purple blue red yellow. If it setting black. Make in to chapter 2 starts new book, have 15 books in the to be finished at 5%
Me now, jumps from one 300,000 word novel missing first 5 chapter to a 220,000 word novel missing the climax. All black ink. 7 to be finished at 90% closer I get to 100 more likely I am to quit.
mary sue, feminist icon
mary sue: I have freed you all from feminism!
fourteen yr old caleb CALLED OUT for PROBLEMATIC writing!!1!1!
pepperlicious52 Can u pls explain, what does "problematic writer" phrase mean?))
Kamila Muratova it means writing that usually pertains to upsetting/violating societal norms with no explanation as to why it exists in the story BUT i was just joking in this context im not actually calling him out lol :' )
@@pepperlicious52 ahahaha, yeah I know you were joking, just didn't know what it meant. Thank you for the explanation though 😊
'Because I loved my daughter and you stole her from me!'. Made me think of one of my favourite Holt quotes from Brooklyn Nine Nine; 'if you love someone, you'll remember what they look like'.
Rachael Manda yeah, but he was being characteristically unsentimental lol
"this is kinda cute, but also the writing is not good" i have never related more lmao
Can this video count as an audiobook that I can add to my Goodreads reading goal???
I say yes go for it lol
was literally just thinking where can I mark this as read on goodreads LOL
Yes
I made basically the same comment, then saw yours. Deleted mine.
Haley Mtz Handbook for Mortals
“Mary wasn’t my name...MY NAME IS MARY SUE!!!!!”
honestly donovan who?
Edit: Mary Sue was the ORIGINAL bad boy
Liv Odo underrated comment
ok but as a young teen u wrote a WHOLE book AND you were a feminist icon... i stan
“She’s talking about how big her room is and how her life sucks” ...but does she wear men’s size 13 Nike’s?
My casting for this book:
Mary-sue: Emma stone
Benson: James from Big Time Rush
Zephyr: again Emma stone
Queen: Charlize Theron
King: kit Harrington
And lastly my favorite, ganondorf -I mean Jamori: Will Smith’s version of the Genie except he’s green with ginger hair
Oh my god
👌👏👏Perfect👏👏👌
JAMES FROM BIG TIME RUSH
Im dying, this is perfect
No no zephyr is Emma stone with a shitty cheap ginger wig
My biggest question was how Benson could have possibly kidnapped Mary Sue if she was with her family, in the middle of a party, when she passed out, but you mentioned it and I was so happy!
_"I wonder what she's gonna do! She is gonna be a rational human... Right...?"_
"No, no, no... This is a young adult book. *We don't do that here!* "
🤣🤣 you tell her! 😤
Mary Sue after being called just Mary instead of Mary Sue: IT IS MARY SUEEEEEE
Also Mary Sue after her name is pronounced almost entirely wrong: Guess I’m Marie now
Arlington is the name of a city in Texas and it may be the least sci-fi name that I've ever heard, which I think is a testament to how skillfully and creatively you named everything in your book
Alyssa Wagner and Virginia
And Tennessee
Haha I was thinking the same thing, I live in Dallas so whenever he says Arlington it definitely takes me out of the sci-fi idea lol
I was dying because it's a town in New Jersey, too.
I just kept thinking of the military cemetery 🤣🤣
The second you said Benson I had very aggressive ICarly flashbacks
I thought of that gum-ball machine named Benson from the regular show
Trinity Garcia well why tf were they so aggressive
more like bary b benson
@@kelseybell4450 Same.
@@kelseybell4450 same fam
Okay, I'm only 6 minutes in, and honestly Mary sue feels like she would be a really great evil queen character.
A villain with a day job. Innovative.
This got a great chuckle out of me 😂
Voldemort working at Mcdonald's.
Gemori’s gotta get that coin
Reminds me of the witch in Beastly, who just like... enrolls in high school for four years, (and I think three years in middle school, too??) just to curse the protagonist... she’s really invested in the long con. That, or even she recognizes the value of a good education
Basically Yoshikage Kira
So the love interest is a ginger Sherk with a man bun. bless you.
Omg I forgot that he was green... is Zephyr also green? Caleb we have questions
@@jay__birdie is Mary Sue green since they're sisters? IS EVERYONE GREEN???
ok but that title is me reading any of my writing ever 😩
oof. Too real.
Me too
oof same
ugh same
Also have a shot every time Mary Sue gets pinned down or pins someone down, honestly an icon
we love alcohol poisoning 🥂
Yes, I want to get my stomach pumped.
The beginning of this book sounds really interesting with your interpretations. A soon to be queen makes her very first law (one that's traditionally supposed to be for the betterment of the people) to take away her peoples rights and some people's livelihood (and even possibly eff with the economy of the country). Then theres the fact that there might be slaves and that she doesn't respect the poor (won't let them attend her birthday party). I really thought the thing she was drinking was poisoned and not a sedative. A tyrant of an heir dealing with assassination attempts and learning to not be such a dipwad while falling in love with someone she doesn't know is trying to kill her would've been such a cool story.
It STILL makes for a cool story. I think this book can be saved with some reworking!
I totally agree! Like with some reworking, this could be a really interesting twist on the whole “Mary Sue” trope where the protagonist is an unreliable narrator. Like in the beginning, she thinks they’re cheering for her, after her law is announced, but they’re really starting to panic and riot. But she’s surrounded by “yes people” who constantly tell her “See? They love you!”
It could even serve as a real-world parallel to the insanely rich and powerful who honestly think that they’re loved by the lower classes and that what they’re doing is right
I
Did you just somewhat describe Merlin BBC??
(or am I just too deep in the memes?)
I think y'all should write fanfiction for this lol
I love this era of youtube where more and more people are uploading videos of an hour or more.
"She's gonna be a rational human, right? No no no, this is a young adult book. We don't do that here."
favorite line. I need a t-shirt with that on it
Wait...the mom was gonna shoot/execute zephyr when she didnt know it was Mary sue. But zephyr is also the queens daughter. So regardless the mother was going to shoot one of her daughters? Lol
😮 that’s wild lol
I feel like Mary Sue is honestly more upset about him calling her Mary than getting kidnapped
Summer/Lily is quaking
@@AK-rx8gp I’ve been searching for this comment omg. Ruler of the Stars? More like Ruler of the Cellar.
"Zephyr gave Benson an antidote, so that's why he's fine."
Ah yes, an antidote for a gunshot wound to the chest. Of course.
when i heard "dark hood" and "benson", I immediatley thought of the dark kermet meme and benson from regular show.
so i just kept hearing a dark kermet benson this whole time...
I thought I was the only one
This is literally the epitome of a Sarah J Mass book but in space
Obsessed with the fact that Mary was using the wrench she grabbed to get a pipe to use as a weapon when she already had a wrench, ya got one right there girl
Omfg how have I never realised this?!? 💀💀💀
Someone: what's ur favorite movie?
Me: *shows them this video*
That’s not as bad as what I wrote in middle school. My entire story was about shape shifting unicorns who have invaded the human world and live amongst them undetected. Their home realm was called Unicornia. Freaking UNICORNIA. The creativity my little brain had was nonexistent.
Can I read this lmao
Okay but that's adorable
Omg.... Seriously. Too funny.
@Y Daboi you have no idea how badly I want to read that
okay but like this would be a bomb-ass kids show
A supervillain working in customer service is an incredible idea, actually
“Mary Sue, who went missing a few days ago.” What the heck, she already has a headstone and grave?
But for real, if I watch the whole video can I count this toward my goodreads reading goal?
“I wOnDeR wHo It Is?!?!?”
“It’s jamori.”
My favorite part is that the princess was missing for less than a week and there is no corpse but her parents already have her tombstone shiny and ready xD
"i saved them from feminism" she's a little confuse but she got the spirit
The Queen: I love Gemori.
Princess Mary Sue: He's a murderer!
The Queen: So is Benson.
Princess Mary Sue: THAT'S DIFFERENT!!!!!
Wait wait In the beginning when she got knocked out on front of her mom, did “Raven” just walk in scoop mary-sue up and say to the queen “yea I’m just gonna take her now.”
"Oh, what a nice young man. I hope my only surviving child has fun with this stranger I've never met!"
I strive to be as patiently petty as Jamori (?) .
true
Bensen: *makes potion that can save the people infected with barven*
Also Bensen: *kills about 20 barven with his exploding ship*
You literally ended misogyny. Release this rn
I don't think this whole "18 year old makes a new law" thing is a good idea. Princess or not... 😂
Seannessy Rain *flashback to all horrible way of thinking of mine in the age of 18*
The premise is cool, but I don't know what the execution would be like
What if she made a law that nobody else had to make a law
I'm 18 and the law I would make is that you can't make your car stereo too loud. It's distracting.
"the spACe aPpLIaNcE INduStRy" 😂
Jamori wouldn't even be able to get Mary Sue when he first sees her. He gotta finish his shift 😂😂😂
Gymorah’s introduction had me in LEGIT TEARS. The main antagonist, a mall cashier at a dress shop, I love it
Sounds like the next Sarah J Maas book
this is gold oh my goodness 😂😂
Shadeeeee😂
I'm not actually being serious, I would just like everyone to know this. I love Caleb
At least he had the smarts not to publish a terrible story. Sarah actually published trash, and people ate it up like racoons in a dumpster 😂🍵
@@darkadalia because people love trash unfortunately.
"In my live I've felt alone so much that it feels like my entire live I've been alone."
- Benson Ovarton, in _Ruler of the stars_
“Let’s move out of here so dont get killed by these dancers; what kind of dancing are they doing? “
*eyes Lord of the Flies nervously*
*eyes Superstar starring Molly Shannon nervously*
The first thing I ever published (on Wattpad) and still have a copy of was a girl being stuck in an elevator with One Direction. I was 13 but even still, so cringe...
Alina O I want to read this lmao
Link?
"A huge creature about the size of a monkey" Wow, what incredible creature design. It really paints a picture.
I mean, as a fourteen years old, you wrote about a character that was the opposite gender, intentionally written to be unlikeable, and has actual attempted world building. Alot of kids can't even write someone they can't agree with so it's actually got some potential if it was rewritten.
“I’m a teen author, imma get this book published” me in middle school ☠️☠️☠️
this is such a comfort video for me i've watched it so many times I never get tired of it. i wish i could read this book every night
Oml same. I’m back for yet another rewatch
Every time I hear Benson I think of Barry B Benson
Princess Mary Sue: "Being normal for once in my life would be great."
Handbook For Mortals chick: "I have always envied those with normal lives."
Omg. Caleb you should sue.
Not gonna lie. The part, "I'm an 18 year old girl. Why do they care so much?" was actually genius...
Why is this zenith though lmao
Hot ass tea right there and I'm here for it
(why is this better than zenith though lmao)
My fancast for the movie adaptation of Ruler of the Stars-
Mary Sue- Sabrina Carpenter (idk but short, angry anti-hero Mary Sue would be really funny)
Zephyr- Chloe Grace Moretz
Benson- Tom Holland (again, idk, I just think it would be funny to hear him say "In my life, I've felt alone so much that it feels like my entire life, I've been alone")
Queen Larene- Cate Blanchette
King James- Tom Hanks
Gemori- The Rock (but with a man bun)
Imagine just seeing THE ROCK working at a dress shop
Idk about you... but yes
Omg laughing so hard and the part where jamori is working at the dress shop 😂😂😂
"After she says she's gonna kill them, what a queen"
How half of YA writers construct female leads
I’m from Arlington, Texas and every time he said Arlington I just imagined my own town being attacked
Grace Monk I’ll tell you hwat Bobby
Why not use the wrench as a weapon? Did she really need a pipe??
And also, I love how there were just no guards or other people on the ship, just the king and queen 😂
It's like using a hunting knife to whittle yourself a shiv
Love the idea of starting a book by having the main character promise to carry out the death penalty for anyone trying to travel. Incredible first impression
the title is me @ myself after i write something
A whole big mood.
it’s *MY* sleepover and I get to choose the movie
back to my comfort video
If you had post your book in Wattpad, maybe you’d have your own Netflix movie right now. What a lost opportunity.
BENSON! I'm laughing so hard, my computer almost fell off my lap! Thank you for sharing this gold with us!
I can’t take the dude seriously xD BENSON?!
Oh it’s the evildoer dark lord BENSON!
When I was four, my mom would give me little packets of printer paper stapled and folded so I could make my own books. My first was about a horse named “Scosr” who befriended a little boy, and then he died and went to heaven.
I peaked early. Everything after that is pretty much either self-insert fanfiction or disjointed scenes of overly complicated stories that I’ll never finish.