Tale Of The Tongan Ninja - Jemaine Clement

Tale Of The Tongan Ninja
Performed By Jemaine Clement
Composed By Jemaine Clement, Bret McKenzie, Stephen Roche & David Donaldson
Featured In The Movie ''Tongan Ninja''
A stories told where the sand is gold and it's never cold
The tale of the Tongan Ninja (The Tongan Ninja)
Feet so fast, like a dynamite blast, 'cept on your ass
Talkin' bout the Tongan Ninja (The Tongan Ninja)
One day he went swimming with his father
But his father was eaten by piranhas
They ate him like we eat bananas
But then a ''wham'' and a ''pow''
Sione for now, survived somehow
And a ''whack'' and a ''bam'', swam back to the land
And was found by the hand of Mr Magasaki
Who trained him in ninjutsu, he kick and punch and flip
So because he was a Tongan and he was a ninja he adopted the name;
The Tongan Ninja
He'll kick your head, and with the other leg he'll make his bed
Talkin' bout the Tongan Ninja (The Tongan Ninja)
He's like-able, but that's until it's you he kills
Talkin' bout the Tongan Ninja (The Tongan Ninja)
You'll know it's him by shuriken and his chocolate skin
Talkin' bout the Tongan Ninja
Wa Wa Waaaaaa
The Tongan Ninja (Ohhhhhwaaaa)
The Tongan Ninja

[@spoonflipper]

Jemaine Clement is one of those guys who's simultaneously very handsome and very odd looking.

[@lune78]

I know this is a very old comment, but still the most accurate description of Jemaine I've ever heard.

[@Jokaanan]

yes and imo all of the hottest guys are like that

[@wackyruss]

He’s Māori. Perhaps that’s why he looks weird to us.

[@suzannewilson9918]

He’s got it going on!

[@euginam91]

jemaine does strange things to me

[@809Ollie]

i expect more people have watched this than have accentually watched the film lol

[@DJiswatching]

Jemaine is so fine

[@ABlueGrace]

I LOVE this film, and this is, most definitely, the BEST title track for ANY film, EVER.
If only the FOTC titles had lyrics, imagine the consequences!

[@igotnothin5049]

Jemaine is handsome in such a dorkey boy next door kinda way 😂❤

[@theo1216]

Remember getting this gem on video when I was about 8. Major nostalgia rush

[@RatelHBadger]

Greatest movie filmed in Wellington! Sorry Taika

[@mrurquhart9138]

Taika actually does feature in the film. He is one of the background dancers in Chef Guy's "Welcome to my Restaurant/Chop Suey" song that takes place in the kitchen of Miss Lee's establishment. So it's cool to think that he was at least involved in some small way.

[@RatelHBadger]

Yes I know... it was a jab at What We do In the Shadows.
I also know many of the guys who filmed both Shadows, and Tongan Ninja... Wellington isn't exactly a large place.

[@0mantra]

We need a sequel!!!!

[@intuitiveeevee]

This looks like it is as bonkers as "an evening with Beverley Luff Linn"
And how come Jemaine looks hot even in the most ridiculous costumes
Yeah I know this was posted 13 years ago,it only just popped up on my home page!

[@msannthrope1863]

It’s such a shame Jemaine is married because he’s just my style of silly and gorgeous.

[@livee89]

Amazing...and strangely hypnotic...I may have to find a copy of this film purely for this intro...heh heh

[@RatelHBadger]

livee89 it's great! extremely cheese!

[@RENEEVEE133]

WHOA! major sugalumps at 0:56

[@helenradford1797]

Those trousers don't leave much to the imagination do they?

[@janicekrieger1922]

It was an absolutely hilarious movie!

[@JazSmithPresentation]

I love this film watched it so many times

[@mocar14]

This movie is my favorite EVER

[@battabezerra42]

very talented and very funny jemaine! ele faz a voz que ele quer.

[@koolyman]

BTW it's HILARIOUS! My favourite movie of all time!

[@noxvalhalla1369]

Lmao@the lyrics

[@biancaispunk6407]

lol this is so cheered up

[@koolyman]

Tongan Ninja. Unfortunately it's quite obscure but I downloaded it through Torrent.

[@ebbsvk97]

Broooo hahaha still laughing in 2022 LMAO

[@Sachmeris]

Oh my... :D:D:D

[@hobbitlady7568]

😂❤

[@SamClaywth]

iv got another. I think its " They ate him like we eat bananas" :D

[@bubblesmcfarlane]

the end credits said fotc wrote some of the songs

[@bozhanaslavkova3291]

Somebody, an idea who's playing the girl? (At first I thought it would be funny if it was Bret but she doesn't look quite like him. Is it Laura Hill, I see she's playing in the movie)

[@FlickFusionOfficial]

Before he did flight of the concords

[@DEM1571]

lmao

[@filmnightpodcast]

TONGAN NINJA!! Wow! What a film! Join the boys @ The Film Night Podcast, along with special guest Matthew 'Tepi' McLaughlin as we review this very interesting film! Here's a link ---> ua-cam.com/video/7Z8m-AztMxo/v-deo.html

[@LRyder54321]

whats this from? its such a good song xD

[@RatelHBadger]

Luka Ryder-Bunting Tongan Ninja

[@AEminous]

OK< WHAT IN THE F U C K HAPPENED AT THE END?!?!? whos the old guy??

[@StoriSaurus]

I love Jemaine, but.. What the folk?

[@RatelHBadger]

You should get checked

[@thuggie1]

that movement is so wrong lol