Navigating the Loss of a Pet With Colleen Rolland

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  • Опубліковано 22 бер 2022
  • Colleen Rolland is a pet grief specialist for the Association of Pet Loss and Bereavement. She talks about important topics, as well as how the organization started in this interview with Dr. Karen Becker.
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 101

  • @nanoyto17
    @nanoyto17 2 роки тому +90

    I can’t get over the loss of my cat.. he was such a loving soul, I regret every moment I didn’t spend with him..

    • @habazlambazazathe6th989
      @habazlambazazathe6th989 Рік тому +14

      I lost my cat 2 weeks ago..its been devestating

    • @karenlenk1724
      @karenlenk1724 11 місяців тому +2

      I know how you feel. I have the same regrets after losing both my cats 6 months ago. Realistically though, I don't think they would want us around them 24/7 either.

    • @KS-cz7nr
      @KS-cz7nr 11 місяців тому +5

      I lost my boy last Friday. I also grieve for every single minute I didn't spend with him. 15 years old and my best friend. I honestly don't know what I will do without him.

  • @kayakins1709
    @kayakins1709 2 роки тому +49

    I lost my horse March 15 , 2022 and she was 30 yrs old . I got her when she was 2 yrs old and I’ve had her 29 years . Her birthday is April 28 she was almost 31. I rode her miles and miles over the years. I rode her in parades and she has worn costumes and clothing omg one in a million. My heart is absolutely shattered.

    • @watchmanonthewall3852
      @watchmanonthewall3852 2 роки тому +9

      Amen...walking the same path. Got my guy when he was two...lost him Feb 9th. 30 yrs together. Today March 24th is his birthday. He had a tumor in his spine so our separation was scheduled as his mobility got worse. I loved him so. Glad for this video. Miss you my boy. Pray you're galloping the green pastures of heaven...kicking up your heels. Said a prayer for you Kay...the Bible says "the spirit returns to the one who gave it" so at least I know where he is.

    • @kayakins1709
      @kayakins1709 2 роки тому +4

      @@watchmanonthewall3852 my my gosh… thank you so much for reaching out to share with me I’m so so sorry. I pray for you too !! I know it’s awful hard to go on without them .. life was such a ordinary routine with them .., it’s very very hard. Pray for our days ahead . My grief is in waves !

    • @yuukichan12
      @yuukichan12 Рік тому

      ❤❤❤

  • @raedarden9830
    @raedarden9830 Рік тому +48

    Anticipatory grief...so now I have a name for it. I know, especially with my last three pets, (I'm nearly 80) I dreaded "that day" for years, began to panic when the time was nearing, and then am broken when it becomes reality. It's been nearly two months now. I have decided not to adopt again, as I don't want to cause grieving in a beloved pet with my own parting. So, here I am. With beautiful memories of beautiful beloveds...and the promise of "Rainbow Bridge".

    • @dragonfly9209
      @dragonfly9209 Рік тому +12

      I am EXACTLY where you are. I just turned 71--and am afraid to adopt again, because I am sure I would go first. I don't want to cause grief to a pet who would feel abandoned, would not understand what happened and where I went--and would most likely die in my house alone. I lost my senior Bella 3 weeks ago--and her senior sister, Luna-- 7 months before that. The house is incredibly empty and lonely. I see them everywhere. It's a deep ache and void. So here I am too. "With beautiful memories, of beautiful beloveds." Your words brought tears to my eyes. Yes, I long to see them again...And I am sure...that WE WILL ♥

    • @raedarden9830
      @raedarden9830 Рік тому +10

      @@dragonfly9209 I am so sorry for your recent losses.
      Even though it is my decision, it is difficult to to accept the fact that-that big, ol' empty hole she left behind will never be filled again. I am disabled and taking on the care of another is neither fair nor realistic. So, I try to fill my days with distractions that I enjoy. And when the loneliness creeps in at times, I remind myself (and Riley, and Molly, and Moosie, and Misty, and Sunny, and Figaro, and Oscar, and Chester, and etc.) of the glorious reunion that lies ahead for all of us. It does help! You are still just a young whippersnapper...if your health is ok, would you consider adopting, or fostering and older "pup" who needs a loving home? They are always so grateful. One day at a time, my friend...hang tight to the memories and the promise of "The Bridge".

    • @dragonfly9209
      @dragonfly9209 Рік тому +6

      @@raedarden9830 Thank you so much.
      Well, At 71, I don't feel like a whippersnapper! My health is iffy---and I really don't think I would outlive another.
      Believe me--I am tempted--but I also don't think it's realistic. I'm trying to take one day at a time, but just going through the motions. I have a part-time job, 3 days a week...getting ready to leave for that now. It helps as a distraction. I hate being home in this empty house. Thank you for responding--it helps to know that someone else knows exactly what I feel, that we are not alone as we walk through this. Oh yes, I cherish the memories of my Beloveds---and am holding onto the promise of the Bridge.
      Bless you my friend ♥

    • @raedarden9830
      @raedarden9830 Рік тому +3

      @@dragonfly9209 I'm here if you need to talk. God bless.

    • @tracyheaslip8754
      @tracyheaslip8754 Рік тому +4

      My heart goes out to you

  • @debbyschweighardt5810
    @debbyschweighardt5810 8 місяців тому +8

    I put down my beloved pug of 14.5 years 3 days ago. I cry a lot: in the car, in the shower. I love him with my whole heart. He was my everything. He loved with his whole heart. I can't even say that i ever heard him growl at anyone. He was the kindest soul i have ever known. He had a peaceful passing at home with the assistance of a vet from lap of love. I don't know how to live in a world without him. I have an appointment for a one hour session with an on line pet support group set for Sunday. I feel so very sad. I also have another dog and i am doing my best to take good care of him while we grieve together.

    • @e.agoraphobicdickinsonpoet660
      @e.agoraphobicdickinsonpoet660 7 місяців тому

      There is something about pugs. My 13 yr old ❤sweet baby MiloBear died in my arms a week ago & I’m beyond devastated. It was unexpected as we were in the midst of diagnostics for a chronic cough. He left behind his brother Kirby from the same litter. They were inseparable & he is lost without his brother. Milo was so sweet& gentle & laid back. I miss him terribly . I would & did everything I could to help save him but it wasn’t enough .It’s a gut wrenching pain that comes on like you’ve been hit from behind. I understand your pain & loss. ❤️

  • @joyjohnson4135
    @joyjohnson4135 Рік тому +12

    I just wanted to thank you so much for this video it was very helpful I did a lot of crying when I was listening but it was just so helpful my cat gain his heavenly wings New Year's Eve 2023. He was twenty years and eight months. He was my PTSD cat I've had him since he was a. He had stage 4 kidney I lost another cat in 2018 stage 4 kidney failure just before his 19th birthday. I did a lot of grieving when they we're sick it was very hard not only where my cat sick but I had lost my son 1986 at 6 years and 10 months he was turmoil his whole life so there was a lot that reminded me of that situation all my when my cats were sick. And now my cat that I have at home. Has severe pancreatitis impossible lymphoma so it's a lot to. But I do everything I can every day for each one of these I go above and beyond for them and the unconditional love is just amazing. I wrote a letter to my son on his birthday and it was very helpful I'm going to do this for my cats too. Thank you so much for the video. I'm going to try to find the website

  • @adammfanning3654
    @adammfanning3654 Рік тому +14

    Thank you both for your understanding of the pain that I am having at such a difficult time with the hurt I’m suffering. I lost by beautiful best friend and irreplaceable Whippet - “My Sweet Emma” on October 20, 2022. My heart is truly broken and I fear that I will never recover from her loss.

  • @kayakins1709
    @kayakins1709 2 роки тому +11

    I also have dogs and I’m telling you my baby boy is absolutely like my son . I am already worried about losing him .

  • @pamelam9621
    @pamelam9621 11 місяців тому +3

    I lost my heart dog to hemangiosarcoma in March 2023. Anyone who knows about this cancer knows how horrendous it is. You don’t know when but you know there is no cure. I still had his older bonded brother to take care of so even though I was a wreck, I needed to take care of him. He was old and had medical issues but me and my husband spent just be out every minute with him until he passed a month ago. Now I find myself grieving for both and sometimes not at the same time. They were my first dogs and will be my last as we gave them the best life. We were always with them as we were retired and worked part time
    out of our home. I am a member of the support group and will try harder to get over this. It’s a very good video. Thanks.

  • @bibibobi249
    @bibibobi249 2 роки тому +10

    I'm so low , it's been months ago in August
    I keep crying

    • @1018Stacey
      @1018Stacey 2 роки тому +5

      Dani, so sorry for your loss, BIG HUGS 😭😇🤗

  • @vanadians3819
    @vanadians3819 Рік тому +5

    My Miracle Dog, Minion survived a car accident that killed my brother 5 years ago. He couldn't survive the tumor they found yesterday and I had to say goodbye to him yesterday. He closed his eyes to me, and opened them to my brother. Im devasted though. Friends say it is because he was the last link to my brother due to the accident. He was my dog, not my brothers, but my brother was a wonderful puppy uncle. I think its because he was a fur angel.

  • @joannlamothe6640
    @joannlamothe6640 4 місяці тому +2

    So glad I found this. I need this to help me cope with the loss of my pet.

  • @carmendiaz480
    @carmendiaz480 Рік тому +6

    Thank you so much. This has helped me so much .im going to start cancelling as i find it very difficult to continue life without out my precious cat, my companion,my friend, my everything, the reason for every part of my every day's life

    • @sw33tm3
      @sw33tm3 Рік тому +4

      I am so sorry for your loss. I too lost my precious cat 5 days ago, it’s been extremely hard for me. I feel like I was drowning in emotions and a part of me was ripped away. Just know you are not alone, I’m sending you love.

  • @justjulie1614
    @justjulie1614 Рік тому +8

    My fur grandbaby girl, Baby T, passed away 2 days ago. I’m 47 and I’ve lost. A lot of people in my life. This one, is different. I’m having trouble seeing a future without my baby, Teeter Tot. She was my only grandchild and my son and his wife would be gone all day most of the time and they live next door. So everyday, I’d go get her and keep her for the majority of the day, and some special slumber party sleep overs at nana’s. I can admit I was pretty obsessed with her. Now, it hurts to breathe. I literally can’t see a way past this loss.

    • @SassyPetal
      @SassyPetal Рік тому +1

      ❤❤❤

    • @mzturry
      @mzturry Рік тому +4

      I’m sorry you have to go through this. My sweet baby died yesterday and I don’t want to look forward. You’re not alone. Somehow I found your message and am sending you my understanding and compassion

    • @justjulie1614
      @justjulie1614 Рік тому +1

      @@mzturry I’m so sorry that you lost your baby too. It’s so hard. Thank you for your message. I still miss my Baby Teeter every single day. I’m just waiting for it to get easier.

    • @SassyPetal
      @SassyPetal Рік тому +2

      @@mzturry I'm so very sorry for your loss...💔

    • @TheYazmanian
      @TheYazmanian 4 місяці тому +1

      I hope you are feeling better
      I said goodbye to my "son" last Monday. A gorgeous, goofy, loving, sweet, attentive, crazily smart, oh-so-human German Shepherd (and seemed very Belgian Malinois as he was on the more svelte side with shorter fur) and I'm lost in a sea of grief. I make it to shore sometimes, exhausted and arms burning but the tide comes in and pulls me out to sea again and again. This morning the water is a little calmer, but I know that storm will hit again. He was my life jacket, he was my paddle board, he was my rescue ship in times of sorrow. And now that I'm out to sea again, without my trusty lifesaver, I've got to swim harder and faster than ever before and I WILL. It's what he would have wanted. He never gave up and I will now try to live my life as he did; with courage, grace, dignity and joy 💔💛🌈

  • @kayakins1709
    @kayakins1709 2 роки тому +5

    Dr Becker ! You’re such a sweet lady , you have a special soul ! Thank you for providing this kind of stuff I wish you were in Ga .

  • @rosiedominguez7315
    @rosiedominguez7315 Місяць тому

    Just lost my beautiful doggie Bella 8 days ago. I miss her so much, house is so empty and quiet. What a tremendous loss! Will miss her forever.

  • @SF-yl2si
    @SF-yl2si Рік тому +5

    I had to put down my yorkie of 13.5 years 2 weeks ago. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I don't think I will get another dog and have to go through that again.

  • @moshpetroleum8549
    @moshpetroleum8549 2 роки тому +5

    I put my beloved Cockerspaniel (Koda) to sleep this morning after 11 years. Iv found your grief videos very helpful so thank you very much 🙏

    • @SaVvYcArRuTh
      @SaVvYcArRuTh 2 роки тому +1

      i’m losing my cocker tomorrow and sympathize with you… i have never felt loss like this before😭 how are you doing?

    • @moshpetroleum8549
      @moshpetroleum8549 2 роки тому

      @@SaVvYcArRuTh very sorry for your loss. It's such a tough thing to go through ❤️

  • @patsyneddy
    @patsyneddy Рік тому +2

    Dr. Becker rocks!

  • @graceprais9814
    @graceprais9814 Рік тому +4

    LuWee, Shasty, Elmo, Barney, Bunny, Peewee, I miss you all so much!

  • @1018Stacey
    @1018Stacey 2 роки тому +4

    Dr. Karen, have really been enjoying your videos each day this week. It has opened up my sadness though about losing our family pets though. I guess I have not completely healed over the years! 😇😿Your video with Collen was so very important for me to hear so I can process my ongoing grief and loss years later.

    • @kassandrahart6329
      @kassandrahart6329 3 місяці тому

      I think I may need grief counseling.😢 I lost my sweet Lola almost a year ago. 3 years of Hyperthyroidism & Kidney failure finally caught up with her. I can't get over how her euthanasia transpired. First the sedation injection didn't take and she needed a second dose. Then, after 2 failed attempts to euthanize her they said they had to inject intra cardially & then they took her away from me and brought her back to me-DEAD!😢 I feel like I didn't get to properly say goodbye and hold her until the end. I'm crying again as I type this. A week later, I received a sympathy card signed by all the Veterinary staff. Then 2 sheets of white paper slipped out and they had made 2 little paw prints in pink ink and I lost it again. I'm still wearing her little pink collar around my wrist and I've plunged into a deep depression and I cry almost every day. I've been present for countless euthanasias but this one has really hit me hard.

  • @zzc8505
    @zzc8505 Рік тому +9

    I despise vets. It's a vet who ruined my baby's health and life. And didn't show a modicum of remorse and empathy when I confronted him about his botched "care," and I know I am not the only one who suffered at the hands of a cowardly heartless vet

    • @mzturry
      @mzturry Рік тому +1

      You’re not. The vet my dog saw hurt my dog when she was sick and made everything harder, not easier.

    • @zzc8505
      @zzc8505 Рік тому

      @@mzturry I am very sorry for your dog and your experience ...

    • @diapricea4888
      @diapricea4888 8 місяців тому

      Let it be known. Every way you can, warn others. Sue vet.

  • @TheYazmanian
    @TheYazmanian 4 місяці тому

    2:58 a kind soul shared the PDF of this book with me on Rainbow Bridge forum. I have just started it but am currently still working my way through the various videos like this on youtube, as the comments are providing me with a sense of group therapy and community 🌈💛
    I find the stages of grief to be very helpful and whenever people try to debunk that when I'm in the midst of grief I Find it extremely disempowering because the stages of grief are quite accurate and deeply resonates With Me. I definitely abruptly quit my job and burned bridges when my first dog passed away and I do not regret it at all!!!!!My boss said "it was just a dog". She was toxic and had poor boundaries and was a bully. I am glad I stopped working for her. She had a cat of her own that she had to put down but she never grieved I don't even know if she's capable of bonding with animals. This was a comforting talk to listen to Thank You

  • @kayakins1709
    @kayakins1709 2 роки тому +4

    Yes amen ! Not all people are animal lovers !!

  • @rosbar4752
    @rosbar4752 Рік тому +1

    I lost my Snowy, two months ago. I don't cry anymore but I know I am scarred forever.

  • @CCast1111
    @CCast1111 5 місяців тому +1

    I lost my dog less than a week ago, and the person that I thought would be more supportive told me, “ I thought you were stronger, I bet you that when I die you’re not going to cry like that”. That person is my mom.

    • @TheYazmanian
      @TheYazmanian 4 місяці тому +1

      Oh honey 💔
      I'm so sorry.
      Sounds like a narcissist. That would tempt me to go no-contact for a while until she apologized!!!
      How are you doing now?

    • @Jungaloowi333
      @Jungaloowi333 3 місяці тому +3

      I was on the phone with my mom crying at 1 am because I just can't seem to get over my pug's death which happened about two weeks ago. I just needed someone to listen and be there. My dog was my emotional support. I loved him so much that my grief is almost unbelievable.
      My mom told me I was overreacting and that I was abnormal for crying over a dog.
      It's really true. You can only find unconditional love from a pet, and no other human being.

    • @BezmenovDisciple
      @BezmenovDisciple 3 місяці тому +2

      “That will probably be because my dog never once in her life said some rude shit to me like you just did, especially while I was hurting.”

  • @bibibobi249
    @bibibobi249 2 роки тому +9

    I'm telling my self no one knows what will be.
    Maybe we will meet again, maybe, no one knows.
    Just hang on don't decide any thing , who knows what? Just stay on hold and be optimistic, why not? Why make the decision that it's over for ever ? You're not going to stay for ever exactly like now... so think and hope for the best you wish

  • @wcmaughan
    @wcmaughan 2 роки тому +3

    This is so important; great resource!

  • @TheWendysuzanne
    @TheWendysuzanne Рік тому +5

    I accidentally killed my beautiful cat, my Lovey, and I am dying inside. He was the sweetest thing in my life, and now i'm alone, and beside myself with guilt.

    • @silvaadourian3185
      @silvaadourian3185 Рік тому

      How ? 😢

    • @TheWendysuzanne
      @TheWendysuzanne Рік тому

      @@silvaadourian3185 He had chronic constipation. I gave him an enema and it killed him. I think it ruptured his intestines. Every day i wish i could go back and not do that, and hold him again so i can apologize, hug him, and tell him how much he meant to me.

    • @elizabethlnu2775
      @elizabethlnu2775 11 місяців тому +1

      @@TheWendysuzanne You were trying to help him. I'm so sorry for your loss, and for your guilt, which I know a lot about. I wish you peace.

  • @anns6246
    @anns6246 2 роки тому +4

    Maggie is my life a Puggle … she’s 16yr 4 mo. I can’t imagine life without her. I want to die when she does…

  • @ontarioweddingofficiant9691
    @ontarioweddingofficiant9691 7 місяців тому +2

    it would have been nice to post links to Colleen Rolland site, and other resources that were mentioned.

  • @60seconds529
    @60seconds529 Рік тому +1

    great presentation,much appreciation

  • @kayakins1709
    @kayakins1709 2 роки тому +1

    I so need this !

  • @jodycarrithers6160
    @jodycarrithers6160 Рік тому +1

    If anyone can offer some advice I would appreciate it. I'm a divorced mother of 2 teenaged boys. I'm on good terms with their dad and his long-term significant other. We all live in the same community but there are 2 households. At their dad's house, they have had an absolutely wonderful family dog for 9 years. He was diagnosed with terminal cancer and was put down today in their home. While the entire family is, of course, very sad, my oldest son, who, just began his freshman year at college this year, and who is dealing with some pretty severe anxiety issues surrounding these major changes in his life and prior to finding out about his beloved dog being ill is, showing signs of being more than just sad about the passing of his and the family's beloved dog. I would describe him as seeming like he is traumatized, the deer in headlights analogy comes to mind. More than just "beside himself". I should mention that it is my opinion that he felt the strongest bond with the family dog which may help to explain some of why he seems SO much more in a state of despair and grief than any of the other family members but I don't believe it explains all of it. My question is, a his mother, but not someone who lived in the house that had the dog, (by the way, I adored this dog too but, obviously, the connection is not the same as those who live in his dad's house) how can I help my son get through this? How can I be of help or make his grief less daunting...especially when he's the type to keep a lot of emotional things to himself. I don't want to make it worse for him...quite the opposite. But, I am his mother and can't help but want to ease his pain if I can. He's already been through so much change this year...having this devastating and unexpected event happen with his beloved dog, I really worry how he will fare once he goes back to college in a day or so, a place that hasnt exactly been a source of comfort to him as I previously mentioned, with the struggle hes been having with anxiety and his new world at college even before anything was known or expected to be wrong with his beloved dog. Any constructive and positive driven advice would be much appreciated. Thank you.

    • @mzturry
      @mzturry Рік тому

      Sounds like going in to the Association for Pet Loss and Grief chat room would be a start. He could do that too.

  • @danielleliu7954
    @danielleliu7954 Рік тому +1

    非常的有幫助

  • @graceprais9814
    @graceprais9814 Рік тому +2

    I miss LuWee so much!

  • @diniedreyer
    @diniedreyer Рік тому +2

    Is it possible to feel disproportionate grief with the "loss" of a dog when your tenants moved and took their own dog along, but she visited everyday at our house and played along with our dogs?

    • @foxywhitetip7387
      @foxywhitetip7387 2 місяці тому

      Please foster or adopt there are millions being killed every year

  • @Scoobylife
    @Scoobylife 2 роки тому +1

    thank you

  • @noreenbalfe2594
    @noreenbalfe2594 4 місяці тому +4

    I’m really conflicted about euthanasia and natural dying of a pet….😢

    • @TheYazmanian
      @TheYazmanian 4 місяці тому +1

      I've lost 2 dogs now and I'm still conflicted on this topic. I couldn't bring myself to keep the euthanasia appointments for my first dog, Trey. She was 17. And started dying suddenly at 2 in the morning one random night and it was very shocking and traumatic for me and it did not seem peaceful. I promised to never make that mistake again. Our second dog was euthanized at our vet's office. And even though I knew he was old and sick with IBD and the vet suspected cancer too. He struggled to eat and was emaciated (he was a 14-year-old German Shepherd), I feel as though I robbed him of what little time he had left and I feel as though I robbed him of the chance to fight and continue to receive more love for me until it was actually his natural time. In both cases I have regrets but they are slightly different. What I have come to realize is that no matter how they go we aren't ready to say goodbye and we wish they could live as long as us. I take some comfort in knowing that Ralphie (the German Shepherd) didn't suffer as much as Trey and that his death was quick, painless, and somewhat peaceful. Still, I wish I had waited just a little longer but I was worried it would turn into a Trey situation 💔

    • @foxywhitetip7387
      @foxywhitetip7387 2 місяці тому

      Euthanasia is for eliminating suffering

  • @foxywhitetip7387
    @foxywhitetip7387 2 місяці тому

    💜❤️🌺Merla, Zahra, Lacey, Opi, Fudgie, Foxy 🌺❤️💜the best buddies ever

  • @ciuciu106
    @ciuciu106 2 роки тому

    I had a heart from some of my pet's passed away , i had evidences any time is going to happen... that some one is going to pass away , dogs until now but i never now in the future ....the heart come from no where in no time on the table , or on the floor, on the zinc by my bathroom to advice me or to consolate me and it dryed in few days ! The heart are made of water and are plenty round of water. I have the all photos about what's going on ...🙏🏻🙏🏻😇❤️
    Anna Carla - Turin - Italy

  • @rachelche
    @rachelche Рік тому +2

    no no no you just cant get over loss of an animal you sound like you want people to move on its so wrong

    • @roselee6263
      @roselee6263 Рік тому +3

      You’re are i loss my husband 4 years on 6-20 and i loss our daughter 4-25 this year yes she a dog but she is my Beautiful gorgeous daughter I never got over my husband/her dad but she was the one that was there for me all the time or the one that I know I had to get up in the morning for make sure I fed her and take her to the beach and take her every place else she was my soulmate my partner my everything and some people don’t understand that you can love something that is furry and maybe can’t talk to you with your voice but at the same time they have the biggest
      Voice in your life And that’s the one thing you could never get over

    • @rachelche
      @rachelche Рік тому

      @@roselee6263 my heart goes out to you sending so much love and support to you i feel the same about my animals take care x

  • @nopoint228
    @nopoint228 2 роки тому +1

    you willingly ignore shedding of the vaxed onto pets and then pets dying i have no words for your incompetence

    • @foxywhitetip7387
      @foxywhitetip7387 2 місяці тому

      💯💯💯

    • @foxywhitetip7387
      @foxywhitetip7387 2 місяці тому

      Not to mention vets overvaccinate dogs because 30% of their income is repressed office visits and as many vx as possible