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The CRAM Podcast ~ Extraordinary Ideas Unleashed
Приєднався 13 гру 2021
The CRAM Podcast features engaging and thought-provoking interviews that explore innovative ideas and exciting new research that’s shaping our lives - whether it's the evolution of the work world, the transformative ways we connect, the re-imagining of home and place, or the dramatic changes in our identity and community.
We interview leading researchers and big thinkers about the human condition and the possibilities of tomorrow.
We interview leading researchers and big thinkers about the human condition and the possibilities of tomorrow.
Do you want to fall in love? Do this!
One of the most remarkable questionnaires I’ve ever come across was psychologists Arthur and Elaine Aron’s 36 questions. Their aim was to bring two people in a lab - strangers in fact - closer together by having them answer a series of questions. But the miraculous thing is that some couples who’ve tried the 36 questions have actually fallen in love!
As in the case of Mandy Len Catron, a Canadian who wrote about her falling-in-love-on-the-first-date experience. Her essay appeared in the New York Times and became a sensation.
It’s been over 25 years since the original study was published and I was curious to hear Dr. Arthur Aron’s thoughts on it. Why do these questions create closeness among two people? Does it have the same effect on men and women? Have they discovered anything more powerful at creating intimacy since their original study? Join me for a surprising conversation on love and keeping passion alive.
INFO ON GUEST:
Dr. Arthur Aron is a Social Psychologist and Research Professor at Stony Brook University in New York: www.stonybrook.edu/commcms/psychology/faculty/faculty_profiles/aaron
He’s also an Affiliate at the University of California, Berkeley.
The 36 questions are in this NY Times column:
www.nytimes.com/2015/01/09/style/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html
Mandy Len Catron’s essay “To Fall In Love with Anyone, Do This:”
www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/style/modern-love-to-fall-in-love-with-anyone-do-this.html
Dr. Aron’s study: journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/0146167297234003
We’d really appreciate your support! Please rate our podcast and subscribe and follow us on social @CRAMideas.
Support the CRAM Podcast!
Research shapes our lives, yet so much of it doesn’t reach the public. CRAM bridges the gap, bringing groundbreaking Canadian research to everyone. To keep this important work going, we need your support.
CRAM is a registered charity, and Canadian donors will receive a tax receipt. Help us share the research that matters and donate using the link below. Thank you!
www.canadahelps.org/en/dn/124993
As in the case of Mandy Len Catron, a Canadian who wrote about her falling-in-love-on-the-first-date experience. Her essay appeared in the New York Times and became a sensation.
It’s been over 25 years since the original study was published and I was curious to hear Dr. Arthur Aron’s thoughts on it. Why do these questions create closeness among two people? Does it have the same effect on men and women? Have they discovered anything more powerful at creating intimacy since their original study? Join me for a surprising conversation on love and keeping passion alive.
INFO ON GUEST:
Dr. Arthur Aron is a Social Psychologist and Research Professor at Stony Brook University in New York: www.stonybrook.edu/commcms/psychology/faculty/faculty_profiles/aaron
He’s also an Affiliate at the University of California, Berkeley.
The 36 questions are in this NY Times column:
www.nytimes.com/2015/01/09/style/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html
Mandy Len Catron’s essay “To Fall In Love with Anyone, Do This:”
www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/style/modern-love-to-fall-in-love-with-anyone-do-this.html
Dr. Aron’s study: journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/0146167297234003
We’d really appreciate your support! Please rate our podcast and subscribe and follow us on social @CRAMideas.
Support the CRAM Podcast!
Research shapes our lives, yet so much of it doesn’t reach the public. CRAM bridges the gap, bringing groundbreaking Canadian research to everyone. To keep this important work going, we need your support.
CRAM is a registered charity, and Canadian donors will receive a tax receipt. Help us share the research that matters and donate using the link below. Thank you!
www.canadahelps.org/en/dn/124993
Переглядів: 89
Відео
What’s your REAL age? What your inner clock tells you about yourself
Переглядів 99Місяць тому
What if your age has very little to do with your health and well being? Whether you’re 20, 40.. or 80? And what if there was a “clock” that gave you a more accurate picture of how old, biologically, you really are? That’s what’s known as an epigenetic clock. Even celeb Kim Kardashian is into it. She’s 43 but her epigenetic clock says that biologically, she’s more like a 34 year old. Lucky her. ...
The deadly cost of pain and shame in men
Переглядів 77Місяць тому
Trigger Warning: This episode discusses suicide. If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out to the Suicide Crisis Hotline at 988 in Canada or go to headsupguys.org. Help is available. The facts are shocking. Suicide is the SECOND leading cause of death for men under the age of 50. Men die by suicide at 3X the rate that women do in North America and elsewhere. Why? What’s going o...
Why are young men attracted to older women? It's not what you think...
Переглядів 2,7 тис.Місяць тому
It’s not new but more people are talking about it. And doing it. According to anthropologist Treena Orchard, there’s been a rise in younger men dating older women. And it’s not just about sex. Recent movies like Idea of You starring Ann Hathaway, Lonely Planet with Laura Dern and A Family Affair with Nicole Kidman are reflecting this trend. So what’s going on? What are young men looking for? Wh...
True crime: Into the mind of a serial killer
Переглядів 2602 місяці тому
Jeffrey Dahmer, Ted Bundy, Paul Bernardo, Robert Picton. Familiar names in the pantheon of serial killers. But why have we not heard of the most prolific serial murderer in North America?! I’m guessing his name is unrecognizable to most people. On this podcast we explore TRUE crime - not the Hollywood, sensationalized version of true crime - but the facts behind real cases with Michael Arntfiel...
Is world democracy in crisis?
Переглядів 1812 місяці тому
Look around you. War, political upheaval, unstable economies, and increasing division and hate among people. Democracy is in trouble according to a number of experts who say we’re heading towards a crisis - if we’re not in one already. Currently less than 8% of the world’s population live in a full democracy. 2024 is a pivotal year in elections with the majority of the world’s population going ...
The low tech answer to living LONGER!
Переглядів 693 місяці тому
Sure you want to lead a long and healthy life. But what’s the secret? People are spending billions and billions of dollars on all kinds of diets, testing, tracking and health regimens that don’t do anything - or may be harmful. If there’s anyone who’s got an informed answer, it’s Dr. Mike Evans. He’s the former Lead of Digital Healthcare for Apple. He ran health experiments and gathered data fr...
How ETHICAL are the brands you buy?
Переглядів 584 місяці тому
Do you think about every purchase you make? I’m talking about the ethical and moral implications. Do you know where and how your clothes were made? Is your shampoo filled with toxic chemicals? What kind of additives are in your cereal? Are the companies behind the brands you purchase good corporate citizens? Life is already complicated and we’re confronted with millions of choices everyday. We’...
Sex and A.I. ~ The future of intimacy
Переглядів 5634 місяці тому
Would you have sex with a robot? It’s not an outlandish question - at least not to a growing number of people who are interested in high tech intimacy. According to philosopher Neil McArthur, millions of people around the world are already having relationships - and not just with robots - but with chatbots and other forms of A.I. And AI is rapidly evolving and becoming more and more sophisticat...
Have you lost your sense of WONDER? Why that’s a huge loss
Переглядів 914 місяці тому
Here’s a question - and a really important one that you probably haven’t asked yourself: “When is the last time I felt a sense of WONDER?” That thrilling feeling that you’re witnessing something magical. Something surprising. Something phenomenal. Maybe it’s been awhile. Maybe you can’t even remember when you last felt that way. Why? Do you think you’ve figured things out? Do you cast a cynical...
Cats, dogs and other animals we love - what are they trying to tell us??
Переглядів 525 місяців тому
Sure we love our animals. Rover and Fluffy are like family to us. But we often make the mistake of assuming animal behaviour is human behaviour. But it’s not - they are not us. Animals have their own language and their own behaviours which can confound us and leave us scratching our heads. Psychologist Suzanne MacDonald has long been fascinated by animals and studies their behaviour to gain mor...
“I see dead people” ~ When the living see the dead
Переглядів 5145 місяців тому
This one really got to us. It changed the way we look at the prospect of death. Chris Kerr, a physician and palliative care researcher, with his team, interviewed over 1500 patients who were dying - and was amazed by what he heard. You’ll hear from some of these patients who are dying. With very little time left, they describe with clarity and confidence, a transformative recurring event. Truth...
Taylor vs. Beyonce: the HUGE impact of pop culture
Переглядів 826 місяців тому
Taylor vs. Beyonce. Do you care? Maybe not but a lot of people do. And not just fans - those people who follow their every move and every word. Politicians - presidents! - business leaders, economists, stock market analysts, and yes even academics are interested in the Taylor Swift and Beyonce effects. And that’s because their impact is huge. In terms of the economy, we’re talking billions of d...
Sex, Murder, Power - The Badass Women of Antiquity
Переглядів 5647 місяців тому
When we think of bad behaviour, we often think of men and the dirty deeds they’ve done. But what about women? Women, like men, are also capable of bad behaviour. Very bad behaviour. Just look back at the Roman Empire. Women were expected to be good girls, wives and mothers. But there were notable bad-ass women who stopped at nothing to gain power. Their stories are shocking and gruesome. They r...
Are we heading towards the end of civilization?
Переглядів 31 тис.7 місяців тому
*Special Edition* Do you have a feeling that all is not right with the world? There’s war, racial conflict, huge economic disparity, political extremism, growing societal discord. And of course climate change. You wonder - are we on a path to complete self-destruction? It’s the ultimate question that researcher Luke Kemp has been studying. He’s an expert on global catastrophic risk. He’s looked...
How often should you see your doctor for a check-up?
Переглядів 1258 місяців тому
How often should you see your doctor for a check-up?
Why a total solar eclipse is a MUST-SEE event!
Переглядів 3059 місяців тому
Why a total solar eclipse is a MUST-SEE event!
What do our nightmares tell us? Exploring the dark side of sleep
Переглядів 1309 місяців тому
What do our nightmares tell us? Exploring the dark side of sleep
What are the most dangerous personality traits?
Переглядів 8489 місяців тому
What are the most dangerous personality traits?
Faster, higher, stronger: Improving how we move whether we’re disabled or Olympic athletes
Переглядів 18810 місяців тому
Faster, higher, stronger: Improving how we move whether we’re disabled or Olympic athletes
Does psychotherapy REALLY work? What you should know
Переглядів 24210 місяців тому
Does psychotherapy REALLY work? What you should know
An “uncivil” society - is bad behaviour on the rise?
Переглядів 11211 місяців тому
An “uncivil” society - is bad behaviour on the rise?
What do your dreams mean - and how do you control them?
Переглядів 75611 місяців тому
What do your dreams mean - and how do you control them?
Do you know what makes you happy? You could be wrong
Переглядів 112Рік тому
Do you know what makes you happy? You could be wrong
How stress changes the brain and why it’s contagious
Переглядів 127Рік тому
How stress changes the brain and why it’s contagious
Delusions: Why do people believe almost anything?
Переглядів 1 тис.Рік тому
Delusions: Why do people believe almost anything?
Memory: how we lose it and how we keep it
Переглядів 123Рік тому
Memory: how we lose it and how we keep it
Men Behaving Badly - the World’s WORST Tyrants
Переглядів 333Рік тому
Men Behaving Badly - the World’s WORST Tyrants
Yes... we are.
We're projected to reach 2C warming above pre-industrial temperature by 2030. I don't think our agricultural system will tolerate the heat, drought, and flooding that will result. We may have 5 years until civilizational collapse.
As hunter-gatherers, we lived relatively sustainable. As agrarian citizens, we were sustainable until the land became depleted. As modern humans, our civilization has zero chance of being sustainable. When humans began bending the laws of nature, their fate was already sealed. We live in a system that has never been sustainable.
Sounds like public safety workers
We live in a matrix made by psychopaths, for psychopaths The day ppl learn to identify psychopathy on time and learn how to handle them and this knowledge spreads as common knowledge in society, it’ll be the day we’ll be free
Psychopaths and sociopaths are NOT the same. Not even close nor do they have the same origin of their disorder. Psychopaths have a damaged amygdala but sociopaths don't. That's one huge difference.
Thanks Mary Ito...
Report war crimes and espionage using AI, energy weapons and satellites maliciously. I am not your property nor are my children: Communist MAGA, military, CIA, Asia, Russia, Middle East.
Psychopathy is not a disorder
I agree gender plays a role but I think we are continually missing the mark as to why people do this. We really need to reflect on the incompatibility of the society we have built in the western world and well being. It's not normal to be well adjusted to an incredibly dysfunctional social structure. Almost all of our approaches to suicide prevention and mental health are about labelling any discordance with how people feel and the way society functions as dysfunctional... this needs to chance.
My mother is one.Save your life,go no contact if at all possible!
Sociopath is Psychopath 2.0
What I find way more scary than psychopaths are so called empaths who can be trained to reproduce almost any extreme act you would normally associate with a psychopath in the name of doing their job. You can train young men to use a flamethrower in battles, to blow people up or to commit atrocities against civilians. Were all of the guards in Auschwitz psychopaths? Or all the 'scientists' who worked in Unit 731?
Perhaps consider expanding this conversation to women far beyond Millennial/Gen-Z. I say this because someone made a comment about a woman 70 and a man 50 being a different situation. My aunt (father's sister) was widowed in her late 30's. She remained single for decades and then in her late 70's started dating, and most of the men she dated were in their 50's. Neither she nor the men were seeking marriage. They sure had fun! She was the talk of our family! My aunt was not the stereotype of an "old lady," so that probably had a lot to do with it, but she was not rich or famous, neither were the men, but all were more than financially comfortable, and as I said, they sure had fun!
Evolutionary Basis: Evolutionary psychology suggests that men’s attraction to younger women may stem from an evolutionary drive to maximize reproductive success. Traits that increase the likelihood of successful reproduction, such as selecting younger mates, have potentially become more prevalent due to natural selection. Fertility and Age Correlation: Biological research indicates that women have their highest fertility rates in their late teens through their late twenties, after which fertility declines. This makes younger women, particularly those within this age range, more likely to conceive and bear healthy offspring. According to studies by Buss (1989) and Kenrick & Keefe (1992), men’s preference for younger women can be explained as an evolved tendency to seek out partners with higher reproductive potential, even if this process is largely subconscious. This evolutionary explanation argues that men may be biologically inclined to find younger women attractive because such a preference could historically increase the likelihood of reproductive success and gene transmission to future generations.
Let me be honest with you as the younger man in a relationship like this, there's no deeper explanation, we're just two people attracted to each other.
I've always been into older women, and I think it's safe to say the vast majority of men who have dated older women are wired to be that way and tend towards older women. There could be a group of men who have a broad scope and have dated within their age group, and older, but they still got to be wired to include older women into their mix of options. I think most relationships regardless of if there's an age gap or not will fail, but the chances of it not working out are even way higher if there's an age gap. To some extent, it may have to do with men that like older women being more of the kind that enter relationships more for the enjoyment or thrill of it, and tend not to know what they want long-term. In my case it's like that, but the high number of relationships between young men and older women that end up failing must have to do with stuff along this tendencies
Huge big red flags!
All men 'need', not want, pussy and older women get the hots and want to trot with someone who can just get it up on demand. Many men of the same age are just not so good any more and don't excite or stimulate older gals. Women crave new and more. Nature walks the rest just talks. My 83 woman wants someone in his 70's.
Men should pick women at least 15 years their senior. These women have wasted their youth and now are in the "mother" stage. They won't get pregnant and will treat younger men with respect due, from what I have been told by older women, to better staying power during sex. Of course, these men will move on but these older women can get, maybe, 10 years of what they say they deserve, then, it is back to the streets.
Fantastic work/great video. I have been married to a lady 7 years my senior since I was in my mid 30ths, It has worked quite well for many of the factors your guest mentions. I would say the attraction for me was the mental maturity, experience, and a more traditional kind of femininity, etc etc etc. I just give the best of myself and grow faster and faster. We are both happy.
Its the exception, not the rule. In most cases, a man who has his pick would almost always pick younger.
I notice you used the past tense. Freudian slip? But I agree that if the older man has money and doesn't want to marry and thinks he won't mind the STD risk or reality, sure.
@@thomasjamison2050 he could choose a younger wife. Why did you assume casual sex? A guy with choices will choose younger.
@@fdsm9211 Now I am curious. What was the flavor of that blue pill you took?
@@thomasjamison2050 blue pill = choosing younger?! You are the one on pills😂
It may not be a real tendency, but for the guys who do date older women, it has nothing to do with having to choose between women their age or older. They date the older women because that's what they like. Take it from a man who is into older women.
1 comment made referrnce to older women being low hanging fruit. The reality is that men 50 upwards are the low hanging fruit going to 3rd world countries to date 18 years olds. The worst are men in the 60's, 70's, 80' driven by a huge ego & the power of the blue pill 🤔 they've still got it going on.
It's not that young men want children necessarily. It's that biologically all men are attracted to women who can have kids, because that's how their ancestors pro-created. if you're attracted to women who can no longer have kids that's obviously fine, but that desire will leave the gene pool with that person. It's just biology.
Young men in relationships with mature women is nothing new in Europe.
Keanu Reeves is probably the most prominent example.
I think his girlfriend, Alexandra Grant, is actually 9 years younger than him.
@bobbastian760. Yes, Keanu is older by 8.5 years. Did you assume she’s older because of her grey hair? She simply refuses to buy into the negative, ridiculous, social garbage about women’s appearance.
They aren't sorry. It's only very poor men in developing countries that see a pay day. But universally men find women 18-24 the most attractive on average. This is the norm. You're talking about very small exceptions.
@@bobbastian760 YEP👍
@@bobbastian760 There's the type that search for somone to provide for them, sure, but it's not only them. Other men date older women because that's what they like, regardless of if she makes more money or nor. And besides that there's another group of men, who you think aren't into older women because they usually date, or get into long term relatonships with women their age, and still have dated older women.
gee the answer to that question is pretty easy ....women could be compared to dog droppings, the older they are the easier they are to pick up
Not necessarily true, but maybe your experience. I have turned down people much younger than myself, or those my own age too, it depends on whether it is my preference or not. If one isnt interested in a 'pick up', age makes no difference if one is discerning.
Low hanging fruits are easy to pick ?
@@strangeanimal1535 Everyone will be inlclined to think that way, and even I, who exclusively like older women, have doubted myself wondering if I'm like that because I'm too shy with women my age. But truth is it doesn't work that way. If a guy has enough game, he'll be able to pick anything available and the majority of times it will be women around his age. When they pick for the older women, it's because that's what they like. Young men don't get into older women because the women put themselves out more, or act more desperate than younger women. Older women, as women of any age, will naturally show availability if she senses interest from the man, provided she likes him of course. So no, it has nothing to do with being easier to pick, or at least not more than it would happen with picking women of any age.
All the examples you gave were rich woman. When you're 20 years old, a 40-year-old woman can be fun (I'm talking from experience), but when she's 70 and the guy is 50, it's a whole different story.
My wife and I are 10-1/2 years apart and have been together for almost 30 years. (Now 50 and 60)There is still 🔥 in the bedroom.
It's the other way around, and these older women are easy in the sense that they know what they want so if they are in the game they are not playing around but more serious about their intentions.
woman have their fun early, men have their fun later, if they survive themselves. This is just the way of the world
LMAO: Cope at next level! We are NOT attracted to older women. And there are good reasons against it (low/no fertility, healthrisk, high bodycount and baggage). There are only few reasons for a man to date older women: He has no other choice or she is willing to finance him. Same reason why some men date obese women: they have no other options. It´s like hight for women: yes there are some (few) women dating shorter men, but in MOST cases women prefer taller, stronger men with money and high status. And most women don´t date obese men. You can´t change it: Women are hypergamis, they have a strong need to date obove their own status, until they get older and hit the wall. Than their start to lower their "standards".
Another thought provoking topic. Thank you. I am happily with the same person for 40 Years so interesting to see how folks need to cope now .
There seems to be a lot of young women whose lives are not going smoothly. There is a demand now that they be well educated and earn a large income. This costs money and time and is not always possible in a two income per family economy. Often there are children involved, sometimes born because their mothers feel alone and just want someone who loves them as a child does. For young men, taking on these women means taking on a lot of problems both emotional and financial and they are not prepared.
Who are they, what do they know? Do they know things? Let's find out!
Your questions are so good! Thank you both. 🌸
Too many ads. Forget it.
So basically 99.99% of all Libs.
Very insightful, thanks for this! Looking forward for more videos 😊🙏
I'm sorry CRAM. Butt better Sooner than later
If you think demon-ocracy is freedom and sovereignty, you are sadly mistaken and absolutely brainwashed. The U.S. is NOT a democracy, it was built on a Foundation of personal sovereignty, personal freedoms and is a Republic! This was infiltrated and slowly destroyed with the Organic Act of 1871 followed by years of implementing PRIVATE organizations like the IRS and Federal Reserve, neither of which are part of the U.S. government or Constitutional! Please do some research! And when you hear people like Killary or Barry (aka Obama) talk about the loss of "democracy" that's because they fear loosing control over their new world order plan where in your democratic state of being you will "own nothing and be happy". Please, please wake up!
You say that manipulation is not violent! Psychopaths emotionally manipulate unsuspecting people and take advantage of them, and live a parasitic lifestyle, all the while depriving the children of their so called partners, their fathers income and love, and taking there father hostage in a relationship were he is unable to even speak to them, have his own mobile, or email, see them or meet there children, his grandchildren. Manipulation is extremely violent! And all the while the psychopath is sadistic ly enjoying the knowledge that his family is deeply suffering in his absence 😢 I’m Sorry but I have to disagree, Coercive Control is extremely Violent! Kind regards SherrilL.Carss
I don't know. I think they can help it. My ex could treat me horribly, then their phone rings and they are sweet as pie to the person who calls! It appears to be a choice!!
Yes! They think that you think just like them! So they are untrusting because they are always out for revenge for some imagined crime of yours! My ex psycho!!
THEY ARE HUMAN DEVILS. THIS GUY HAS LOTS OF SIMPATHY FOR PSYCOS.!!!!! TAKE ONE HOME, ADOPT THIS M.F.😢😢😢😮😮😮😮😮😮
REPORT WAR CRIMES: Cease and desist malicious use of AI: ASIA, RUSSIA, IRAN, US COMMUNIST PARTY, WOKE CHURCH AND WAGNER/NEO NAZI TERRORISTS: I am not your property nor are my children
They can never get enough of anything - MORE, MORE, MOre They use abortion as birth control, as they have sex with many. They do this because they look to get/hook somebody rich to marry. THEY ARE EXTREMELY DANGEROUS
Absolutely love this podcast. We all want to be healthy as long as possible. Thank You.