Відео

This is amazing information you’re demonstrating here. The video and editing is great. Keep it up ❤

that is insanely helpful thank you!

This is literally the idea of the friend zone 😂, which teaches people the complete wrong thing.

THE COSTANZA EFFECT!

thank you doctor for the interesting explanation. You are right. True exposure is different

But what about moments of silence? I'm pretty good when I'm talking or someone else is. But when there's nothing to say, a pause in the flow, where do we look? Groups when there's someone in front of you are worse for me 😅 I start feeling frantic and need to look everywhere but at the other people when everyone just sits there silently...

So Barneys Theory of Mermaids was all true?

I’ve noticed when I worked at a clothing store it forced me to communicate with customers on the daily and I’d feel amazing leaving work. When I stopped working there I realized my social anxiety getting worse.

4:19 "No giant leaps" -- that's a nice way of thinking about slow steady relationship growth

This explains OCD too. Except OCD or your mind draws these chalk circles everywhere when it comes to things that matter to you. However ridiculous it is, it's unsettling that you can't be certain that nothing will happen after you step in the circle.

No negative energy will ever harm me, Christ is with me✝️

Thank you so much for this video, Thomas.

Why take the risk? The benefit of allowing it and being correct in your disbelief is 0 The risk in allowing and being wrong in your disbelief is being genuinely cursed Whether or not you believe there is 0 reason to allow it

Ugh my biggest thing is that it just doesn't come naturally to me. I just want to walk in my neighborhood without having to worry about this stuff. The problem is my neighborhood is super southern American, you're borderline forced to say hi

This is awesome

Thank you, I have used it

Thank you

My frirnd once said i enjoy eye contact when people feel uncomfortable and i used to ignore eye contact when talking to her but when she said that i keep looking no matter what happen just not to submit

Everyone heals differently, and your choice to focus on personal growth and social connections is equally valid. You're on different paths, and it's not a race

Yeah, i recently found that really helpful not only on dates, but in regular conversations, it can really help in life

I know I'd never find a wife and I'm 50 now

Hello Dr. Smithyman, I recently found your youtube channel and bought your book. Your videos and book have already been really helpful to me. What you talked about really resonated with me. I realized that I have pretty severe social anxiety. Following your advice has already helped me to get out of my shell and start to take off my thick armor. Also lowering my filter which was set oh so high. This has brought about quite a bit of success already doing some exposures. One thing I was wondering after reading your book. You talk about how you want to focus your attention outside of yourself. How ruminating about the past causes depression and worrying about the future makes you more anxious. That all makes sense to me. However I realized that I'm already so used to being in my head thinking most of the time. Especially when I'm by myself, driving, doing chores, walking around, etc. I try to catch myself to try to return to the present, almost hyper vigilant about it. But then it's like I have anxiety or fear about being in my head. Because I'm afraid that it will lead to anxiety or depression which I have experienced before. I don't want to experience those things again or go back to the way things were. So it's anxiety about that I might be wrapped up in anxiety or depression again. What would you suggest in my case? How should I handle the times that I'm not doing something very engaging and my mind drifts? How should I handle the habit of being in my head most of the time? I guess doing some of your attention exercises would probably help. Thank you!

Thank you this is really helpful! I'm saving this!

Love this!!

This is all such great advice that I had to learn the hard way. I agree with everything and would add 2 things that have made the apps a more positive experience for me. First off, I try do the first couple of in person meetups on weekdays M-Th after work. This way my "prime time", Friday nights and weekends, are still just for me. There's nothing worse than having a Saturday evening first date that makes me feel kind of apprehensive all day, only to get there and have it be an obvious flop. What a waste of a day! The second, is to time-box my use of the apps. They are addictive by design. Actually, it is a good thing that they limit your swipes and likes, on Hinge for example, I knock out my 10 likes/messages while I have my coffee in the morning, then put it down for the day.

found you in the art of manliness.. I liked how you explain things.. simple and not with fancy scientific or hip sounding terms.. I really appreciate that

Great video! I'm in this tedious search for a while now and I'll definitively apply those advices. The only issue is the number of people that matches my criteria around me, so I broadened the search distance and fell into the trap of investing time and energy for people that are far away where a "pre-date" is not really an option. Do you think visio meeting could kind of emulate the real life interaction? It's probably better than just text but would it be "enough" to see the spark or not?

I still don’t know if I have social anxiety or not but this vid definitely applied to me because I’m very paranoid about my appearance and just do not open up to people. With some people I can just quickly get a vibe that they don’t like me and I instinctively think it’s cause they can see some off my flaws which causes me to be even more closed off which makes it a very detrimental cycle. With others they seem to understand that I am just afraid and treat me kindly or they just don’t care. I find that more attractive/happy/confident people tend to be the latter, and less confident ones tend to be the former, my guess is because less confident people want positive energy relayed back to them and get annoyed when someone like me is only interested in taking their energy but won’t give it back.

great video, thanks for posting, but cmon, the example of yelling FIRE at a library going unnoticed in amerika? lol

Needed this! I’ve had burnout from the dating apps and deleted, re-downloaded countless times now as I get disheartened and it drains me.

This is very helpful but I find myself wondering whether I "check in" enough times and hold it for long enough while I'm talking. Based on your book and some other videos I've watched from you, I'm guessing you would recommend not analyzing it because there's probably a wide range of acceptability there.

Dr Smithyman . You are simply the best. Greetings from Australia. Dr J Gligrov

I'm starting a new job as of tomorrow in this horrible disorter, gotta expose myself no other choice. Wish me luck.

My personal experience is thru weight loss and fitness. The more fit I became the more confidence I acquired the less anxiety I had. Get to the gym, eat healthy, it definitely works. 🏆

very hard to apply, but those moments im able to do this, yeah... feels good

That’s interesting, I’ll be sure to think of that whenever I’m in another anxious situation :)

I wish that were true

Took me a long time to learn being an introvert is a blessing 😂

Damn you be spitting motivation tho 👌

Great content. Wonderful reminder!

For some making friends as children may have been easier but not me. I was a quiet timid child. I found other children loud and overwhelming especially at break time and lunch times. The problem stuck with me throughout my life. I am now 68 and find it just as hard.

The telephone was to be a means of communication and it was for years. Then came mobiles and texting and now most people I know text. I have heard that a lot of young people don't make calls any more. Even the people l know of a mature age communicate by text. For a long time l didn't have a house phone and when l did l did not ring anyone because of my social anxiety. But even then most people did not use mobiles to talk. Texts are OK in emergencies are if l am in a hurry but l don't like them much. I agree with what you say l do take my phon with me when l go out but it stays in my bag.

Thankyou for sharing this information. I found it very useful.

absolute legend ......

I hope I can be brave to do this. I'll try this out thanks.

Amazing!

any info how to fight social anxiety in competetive gaming ? It's prelevant is forums i see on the daily basis and something i also struggle with.

Did you do nofap?

The Thomas-Smithyman Challenge! Once a day strive for rejection!