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How tf do you even get into a relationship from a friendzone tho?

Love your insights and teachings Terry. I so align …and I am grateful to have found you.

Thanks so much for this video. It gave me a lot to think about. I just subscribed.

I needed to hear this. Thanks

He told me if I didn’t give him intimacy then he would sleep w someone else …. I said go ape poop… then I agree…. (Bad move) by the time I did had already done it …. I tell him off … until the point of him regressing to a baby voice and apologizing… honestly now removed from the toxic mess … I KNOW …. That if a man’s response to my no is I’ll get it from someone else … then that’s a no … I knew it then but I was already healing from an attack by my ex husband… and 2 additional concussions…. I was obviously not alright and should not have been dating …. I remember forgetting to put on pants and being COMPLETELY UNAWARE… of it as I strolled around his apartment…. And I also remember telling him that I couldn’t take the stress because I was healing …. He didn’t care … he was determined to get me in love then dump me for hurting his feelings … I am so thankful to God that didn’t work out … I never felt safe and I blamed myself for having told him off when he deserved EVERY TONGUE LASHING…. If I had not been cognitively impaired I would have just blocked him the moment toxic showed up …. Instead my fight response was triggered and I acted in ways I never have before in my life… a concussion will make you do that ….

I apologized for being verbally abusive… he didn’t apologize for sleeping around to hurt me

He felt defective and unlovable and dealt with that via promiscuity… he punished me for perceived slights by sleeping around… I responded by…. Telling him off … we both had deep feeling for each other and that was extremely triggering… I felt about 4 when I first met him … he regressed to about 3 … I’d tell him off and he’d speak in a baby voice and say “I’m sorry mommy”. It took 2 years to heal …. It was the deepest pain I’ve ever felt…it led me to healing my childhood trauma

We kept one upping each other him with actions … me with telling him off for those actions

Oh my gosh...yes...and you know when you are being hard on yourself, you wouldn't ever treat others that way..

Is it along the lines of "distance makes the heart grow fonder"?

One of the best videos !!! Thank you Terry ! Please continue to make videos like this.

What is wrong about it? Im very curious.

Do you talk more about this in your book US? I have it on my wish list. ( read the 1stone about Man Depression).

Thank you Terry! I can see you are at the stage where you take great joy in giving back.

This is good. Thank you. So glad I found your videos.

I find that a balance of honoring we are individuals in a team, is most encompassing. The both and is very important.

This guy knows what he is talking about.

This guy is a genius. RLT is a life saver.

I thank God for my grandmother . She was heaven sent. Such a beautiful living soul.

True 🎯 it’s an ecosystem. And it works for the better of all people involved in your biosphere. Whenever you are experiencing this in life, please feel blessed.

Glad I found your channel. It's a breath of relief to finally find a masculine interests channel that isn't toxic

corrcet! i, the husband, am unhappy that you, the wife, are unhappy. and our therapist and online YT heads all say "you can not change someone's feelings" so now what? "compassionate curiosity about your partners subjective experience and ignore objective reality" aka she not living in reality? hahahaa side note, comedian zoltan kaszas has a really funny joke about this

5:55 "accuracy and not-this-again" oh man oh man! i understand now i've made it a non-safe space for her to complain to me. now that said. my wife is depressive. everything is the worst. everything is terrible. everything is impending doom... how to be positive without taking on added resentment? she resents me for being happy.

Thank you for sharing this with us. It’s really helpful. You are amazing !

I do not want my children to carry my burdens. They are leaving me one tear at a time.

I am in this right now in a 24-year marriage of two disorganized attached people where the resentment and letdown of these triggers have been simmering for years. I am trying to save my marriage, as I truly love her.

❤❤❤❤

love this - super clear

Very helpful words. Take these to heart.

You're the best Terry! LOL..." you're no prize either!"

❤

Thank you, Terry for such honesty. I'm at a crossroads right now (just seperated but still working on it) and I'm ready to stand up and say no more. I will not stay in this marriage if the angry lashing out doesn't stop! . Thank you!! ❤

The Cycle is Impossible to Break. As longer Life Exist. People will Continue Hurting Each Other. And that Lead for more Violence. This is not a Kid Show like Steven Universe or My Little Pony. This is Real Life and Dialogue will not Magically solved the Problem. Anger is justify as Love, and people have anger for a Reason.

I'm trying to rebuild intimacy with my wife of 24 years but she is blocking it and thinks divorce is the best option. We are both fearful avoidants, and I've been working on becoming more secure myself and in the relationship. She doesn't realize that the grass isn't greener elsewhere unless you can show up differently and water it accurately. I think too much blame is point on one in the relationship instead of both accepting their faults. Maybe she needs her heartbroken by a few duds out there to realize that you likely just let the best passenger in this lifetime go in the hopes of fulfilling a pipe dream of "finding yourself."

The wrong acts even if small can also chip it away over time

Everything was fine until I stopped the process of being used 😂 and now I completely meshed from inmeshment

I need help with ending my defensive cycles...:/

You are an awesome teacher and I truly thank you for all you do

Great video.This is different fromwhat you suggest in your How to make a Complaint video. Is this video a shift in methodology?

King Baby is the root of it all, just never taught to give, care, ask or think of others. No empathy at all. Never saw it rolemodelled and raised a King Baby coddled into being repeated. Nothing left to try ….. nothing.

my new mantra......ROCK THE BOAT

Another good one, Terry. Great encouragement 👍

We were just dehumanized and treated like suitcases.

I really appreciate your teachings, Terry! Your teachings bring balance and calmness in my life. I love you. ❤

❤

yep. i come from an enmeshed family and also a narcissistic parent. both parents used me emotionally as their confidants, emotional support, etc. on top of that there was physical, verbal, psychological abuse that continues to this day - i'm 47. my narcissist abusive mother now has dementia and has become absolutely cruel and mean and the abuse continues. and i live with them after illness and divorce and am stuck in this situation. all i want to do is run away and never deal with them ever again. but i cant. both financially and bc there's no one else to take care of them. i'm the oldest of 3 and my sisters moved far away and wont even come visit. i'm in therapy and it helps me cope somewhat but my life is pretty not good and sad and depressed over this situation and there's no hope it's going to get better any time soon. i am treading water keeping my nose just above drowning in this. the cruelty of mh mother has left me with not one good feeling toward her anymore. i remain polite and kind to her but honestly i just want this part of my life to end. and she could have been a better person. she could have chosen to deal with her own trauma and work to become good. but she didn't. and she's ruined my life in the process abusing the hell out of me since birth. i wish things were different. i work on my own healing and keep to myself as much as possible. it's all i can do.

Stand up with love, and leave the chips behind. It is the lack of assertion or standing up for yourself that often leaves a partner feeling unseen, unheard, and unappreciated. It is simply a dynamic that comes from two people who never learned proper relating because they had poor modeling before that.

Is there a certain way to clarify if it was or wasn't? My mom treats me as her best friend or her therapist. She also likes to use the restroom with me and I'm 20 years old.

How does one address generational, normalized depression since it presents as "unconditional love".

This was an amazing message. Thank you.