Відео

Thank you for this bold & courageous statement & for role modeling an alternative masculinity that is so much needed to counter the viral misogyny that has gone so mainstream. As a woman living in Europe, I find that merely expressing my concerns about Trump’s character & the cult of grandiose personality he perpetuates, is met with aggression, derision & outright bullying when expressed to men. I am shocked into silence on a regular basis that my having a view that differs from populist mainstream polarization is met in such a way. I hope that in 4 years time the world will be so sick of this bullying divisive culture that people will be crying out for a new form of leadership

Thank you! Trying to understand my lovely ADD partner and this helps ❤

Let´s take neutral third party to see whether and where Terry´s reaction fits with RLT: Googles NotebookLM Artificial Intelligence. I have trained it with much of the available material of Terry. Additionally, I loaded the transcript of the UA-cam video. There is no personal comment by me in the database. This is NotebookLM : ----- >TERRY REAL´s POSITION ON TRUMP´S ELECTION AND ITS CONGRUENCE WITH THE PRINCIPLES OF RELATIONAL LIFE THERAPY In the provided sources, Terry Real expresses himself clearly about his rejection of Donald Trump and what he represents. He describes Trump as a “posterboy for grandiosity” and sees in him a resurrection of patriarchal masculinity with its negative manifestations such as racism, sexism, and bullying. Real's strong emotional reaction to Trump's election (“What have we done?”) shows how profound his rejection is. The question of whether this position is compatible with the principles of his Relational Life Therapy (RLT) can be examined in detail using the sources. >POINTS OF CONGRUENCE Rejection of patriarchy: Real's criticism of Trump focuses heavily on the latter's patriarchal attitude. This criticism is in line with a central principle of RLT, which denounces the harmful effects of patriarchal structures on relationships and seeks to overcome them. Truth through connection: Real is unafraid to speak his mind openly and directly. He eschews neutrality, emphasizing that RLT stands for certain values and against others. This is in line with the RLT principle of communicating the truth in a way that brings the client closer to the therapist and builds a relationship of trust. Trauma integration: Real's analysis of Trump's behavior in the context of trauma (“We started seizing property that belonged to others and forced other people to work it by force.”) shows how he applies RLT practice of considering trauma as an important factor in relationships. > POTENTIAL POINTS OF TENSION Relationship-oriented mindfulness: Real's harsh criticism of Trump and his voters (“Those of us who vote for him don't really believe he'll take care of us. We want to be him.”) could be interpreted as a lack of empathy and appreciation for their perspective. This could be seen as contradicting the RLT principle of establishing a supportive and appreciative relationship with the client. However, it should be noted that Real explicitly mentions that he does not want to be disrespectful of Trump supporters. Detachment from outcome: Real's emotional reaction to Trump's election (“I didn't sleep last night.”) suggests a strong personal involvement that could conflict with the RLT principle of detaching from a specific outcome and focusing on the process. However, it is important to emphasize that Real shares this emotional reaction in the context of personal reflection and does not present it as a guideline for his therapeutic work. SUMMARY To summarize: Real's position on Trump's election is in many ways compatible with the principles of RLT, especially in terms of rejecting patriarchy and emphasizing truth through connection. However, there are also potential points of tension, particularly with regard to relationship-oriented mindfulness and detachment from outcome. It is important to mention that the sources primarily shed light on Real's therapeutic work and do not provide a comprehensive analysis of his political views. Therefore, it is difficult to make a definitive statement about the full congruence of his position on Trump's election with all RLT principles.

ChatGPT sentiment analysis of the comments so far. ChaGPT´s recommendation at the end: "- Future discussions might benefit from explicitly addressing criticism and fostering dialogue that aligns with relational principles." Wise :-) ### Sentiment Analysis Summary #### **Positive Sentiments** (Support, Agreement, Gratitude) - Many comments express gratitude and admiration for Terry’s courage and vulnerability in speaking out, reflecting agreement with his views on patriarchy, relational living, and societal issues. - Several users appreciate the articulation of political and social concerns, with some drawing parallels to their personal or national contexts (e.g., Europe, Canada, Palestine, and Argentina). - Emotional reactions like sadness, hope, and inspiration are prevalent among supporters, emphasizing the importance of relational and societal values over political divisiveness. #### **Negative Sentiments** (Criticism, Disagreement, Frustration) - Critics highlight perceived divisiveness in Terry's comments, accusing him of moral superiority, emotional bias, and a one-sided perspective. - Some feel his remarks pathologize Trump voters and neglect multidimensional issues like economic struggles, geopolitical realities, or broader systemic failures (e.g., both Democrats and Republicans being problematic). - A few express frustration with the perceived departure from his relational therapy principles, arguing that his comments violate the ethos of understanding and neutrality taught in his courses. #### **Neutral/Analytical Sentiments** - Some comments analyze the broader sociopolitical landscape, recognizing systemic flaws in both parties and the electorate's disillusionment. - Discussions about patriarchy, relational dynamics, and societal evolution provide a nuanced critique without strong emotional leaning. - Observations include calls for greater inclusivity and bridging divides rather than exacerbating them. ### Quantitative Overview - **Positive Sentiments:** ~45% *(Support for Terry's courage, values, and insights)* - **Negative Sentiments:** ~35% *(Criticism for perceived bias, divisiveness, and emotional rhetoric)* - **Neutral/Analytical Sentiments:** ~20% *(Balanced analysis and constructive critique)* ### Key Themes 1. **Relational Therapy Philosophy**: Many comments critique or align Terry’s statements with the principles of relational life therapy, emphasizing inclusivity and mutual understanding. 2. **Political Polarization**: The discourse reflects deep divisions, with both support and opposition highlighting frustrations with current political dynamics. 3. **Global Perspective**: International commenters bring varied contexts, relating Terry's insights to global issues and their national experiences. ### Insights - Terry's audience is deeply engaged, emotionally invested, and diverse in opinion. - His statements resonate strongly with some while alienating others, indicating the challenge of navigating political commentary in a therapeutic framework. - Future discussions might benefit from explicitly addressing criticism and fostering dialogue that aligns with relational principles.

Thank you from Hungary, Terry

thank-you for this wisdom

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings so eloquently. It is tremendously helpful to be reminded that we are not alone in this, and that we must draw closer to each other as we face whatever is coming our way.

In the beginning there was man-and so he continues until he heals . 1:22

Thank you for your wisdom Terry.

Thank you 😢💙✊🏼 we're all in this together.

Terry, as much as I love your work and have taken numerous courses, I do not think your belief of living in the “Us” was honored by your recent comments on the election. There are many much more articulate than myself so I will simply ask you, “Were you in your adaptive Child or Wise Adult when you offered your comments?

The counting of votes that continued past Nov. 5th has revealed he didn't win by a majority and he definitely does not have a mandate.

Thank you, Terry, for a thoughtful and reflective truth spoken. You are correct to describe the shadow and cruelty of patriarchy this way and to name Trump as he is- self glorifying and dangerous within it. You are speaking truth here, no matter any spiritual reframe. It's a vulnerable and righteous expression that also is comforting. You name America for what it really is. Sadly. Sending love and gratitude.

If his friend is Gabor Mate that says all you need to know about the worthlessness of his opinions.

What have you been doing for the past 25 years is the bigger question? You have all been doing so much hurt to the world and your own country! The blindness of nationalism carries no party flag. The culture identity of the USA, holds no party. It is solely first for the individual, who then thinks secondly of building a community after his success. The left is so extreme now it can't see how it has melted into the right. The left screams: "This is not who we are!" Therefore all acts of war and genocide perpetrated in their name do not belong to the nation? That's what has been done. The USA is so identified with greatness, its own arrogance blinds its decadence. Dear Terry et all, the identification with form, with ideas, emotions and perceptions have no room in oneness. Stop dividing and comparing. We are the world and the world is us. The world is not how we see it, but how we are. Come down USA, we are no different than you.

Terry. Thank you. Courageous and wise words at a pivotal moment. If only those we elected to lead us were capable of such insight and wisdom. 🙏🙏🙏

So beautiful. I applaud you. All about the individualism sickness that plagues the country.

Terry I am wondering if you might have a video on times when both people did something wrong and they are both upset with each other but of course then one apologizes and says but you... how would you address this? How can there be a constructive conversation around two wounded hearts?

I’m a Bernie bro millennial antiestablishment type which definitely informs this take: it’s not that people voted for trump because of his toxic masculine traits (in my experience, based on the trump voters I know, it’s a small portion of voters…mostly gen z men. The rest of trump voters know he’s a dangerous personality but hate the democrat establishment that much more than they hate trump. I’m glad you’re talking about the patriarchy, and trump is obviously the president who’s the expended end of eons of proud patriarchy..:but I think his win also speaks to the ways in which people don’t think what used to be the party of the working class is truly looking out for the working class. They weren’t voting for trump, they were voting against a Democratic Party who hasn’t done enough for them to earn their vote, who reduces them to mindless consumers who vote purely on identity politics. Economic uncertainty was one of the biggest concerns for voters this year. It’s a class issue which unfortunately for most working class ppl people trumps (pun intended) concerns about the patriarchy (I would argue it’s intertwined with patriarchy ofc). Obviously the irony of a billionaire populist is lost on a lot of them…and most people probably don’t understand the economic principles that hurt their bank account and just blindly accept trump’s fairy tale solutions..:and just want something different from the current administration under which their bank accounts have suffered. I appreciate your take and your willingness to curb neutrality and think you’re right but I also think it’s just more about money for working class people..:or what they think will help their money…even if it’s not true. I think most well-off people forget this.

This brought tears to my eyes. So brave! So inspiring! Your message will continue growing in my heart!

You are amazing

Dear Terry- 1st of all I appreciate that you opened up your heart/soul so deeply. I am so moved you have expressed so much to all who resonate with your truly amazing body of work. I understand that you have a remarkable community to integrate all your sorrow with. Thank you for your 40 years of service. It seems (forgive me if this is an assumption) to me your grief was raw and I am so grateful to have experienced your vulnerability in the video. Not sure I would have reading the article alone. When we can sit with someone (today you let us all sit with you) in their darkness rather than try to "fix" them or try to avoid triggering them or judge them...well we ultimately rob them of experiencing their compassion, insights, purpose which, in my experience, becomes their joy ... their growth. You Terry, who has sat with soooo many people through their darkness and to ultimately guide them through their grief/shame/shamelessness know very well that joy comes through that healing. That presenting. I have been saying something over the course of the last 30 years...The only way we can hurt someone is if we cannot feel our own pain. I have no idea who said that first. I can only say It rings true for me always. Thank you for sharing your pain/grief. So, all of this to say, thank you for plainly stating the truth about the contempt the world still has for vulnerability. Many of us know your heart I feel you feeling you. For all the judges (I count myself as one who is a work in progress) I want to paraphrase a quote from Jamil Saki- "Progress covers up its own tracks". Its easy to forget..May we all take a deep breath, pause, bring compassion to ourselves, each other and then begin again. And again and again and again. I Love you Terry - We need community not a hero..

I am a therapist from England and I haven't met anyone yet who is pleased with Yrump being elected. We are all in shock here and appalled at the stupidity of the American voters. We are also worried about the safety in Europe and Trump being a loose canon and narcissist on the world's stage. A very sad day...

Hi Terry and the RLT community. I don’t normally weigh in on these forums but this video has been sitting with me for the past few days and I wanted say what on my heart. I practice RLT for many reasons but one of the primary reasons is that it complements my spiritual practice. One of the tenants of my belief is that those you put in darkness call you to that very darkness. Also what you judge you fear - and fear is at the root of all separation consciousness. At the beginning of the video Terry says he doesn’t mean to be contemptuous but then he goes on to be quite contemptuous of Trump and all of his followers. For me, the difference between this election and 2016 is that in that time I became a couples therapist and I learned to see things from a wider perspective. I learned that when I step into someone else’s shoes I can see the how and why behind their choices. RLT taught me that. I don’t hear any of that generosity in this message. I hear a self righteous, grandiose indictment of the majority of the country which I believe is one of the biggest factors behind this man being elected. Which part of you is speaking - the adaptive child or the wise adult? You cannot solve a problem at the same level of thinking that created it. It’s time humanity take the higher road. How about we look at the lunacy of war and begin to address the energy of that within our own consciousness? Only then can we heal it in our relationships and the wider world. So grateful to you Terry for all your work and for the opportunity to respectfully disagree with your framing of this issue.🙏🏻🩵

Excellent synthesis of our current extremely rigid political circumstances.

Thank you very much. Muchas gracias ❤

" The greatest political resource left standing is the beating hearts of one another" A heartfelt thank you to you, Terry, for your brave and animating words, from Germany ( before the election). It is US who can make the difference❤❤

thanks for making this video, Terry. I appreciated the clarity you brought to how his behavior is actually anti-relational and a huge step backwards in the slow evolution of empathy and equality in the human race. I am coming out of shock and despair and into owning who I am and the values that I will continue to teach and assert.

Well said. Thank you Terry Real.

Thank you Terry!

‘We have offered little to help us come down from grandiosity’ 😢

What? Take a look at Mark Blyth's work since the 2007 financial crisis. Or look at Chris Hedge's reporting and commentary in the previous and current Trump era. Many factors have contributed to this outcome, aided and abetted by the Democrats at so many points along the way. It is foolish to construe our situation as an us-vs-them, good-vs-evil outcome. I believe the speaker is obfuscating the true power dynamics with his interpretations in terms of patriarchy, etc.

Thank you, Terry. We do not live in a democracy. It is at best a republic. But as is obvious, our country is ruled by the very wealthy, the military industrial complex, "entertainment," and organizations not committed to critical human, and humane well-being. Let alone the planet. Trump won by endless, relentless, LOUD fear mongering, lying, uncivil, disrespectful behavior. He intentionally pandered to an undereducated, struggling electorate, not with leadership but rather with fear and rage. Many did not vote, as the ONLY act of civil disobedience in their control. Therapists are among the front line seeing and dealing with the results of these policies. When people weary of the results of this, weary of being taught by misery, they need paths forward into healing. Including what Terry says. Just as we are stuck with this result, they too are stuck with those of us committed to honesty, healing, respect, integrity, intelligence and compassion. And we are right here.

I appreciate this Terry and I credit you almost entirely for my ability as a therapist to challenge grandiosity, understand narcissism, and attempt to dismantle patriarchy. What I have not understood for 8+ years now is with all that we know about narcissistic personality disorder, why isn't anyone looking at Trump through that psychological lens? I know we can't diagnose someone we don't see in front of us,, but NPD is about person's personality, the core of how they see themselves and the world. Why hasn't anyone utilized this perspective at least to understand Trump? His behaviors are part of a predictable pattern. Because with more severe NPD, an individual will only look out for himself, why is that not one of the most concerning potential predictor of a dangerous "leader"? I have hoped the psychology field would have spoken to this by now. Forensic psychologists study killers to understand their behaviors and predict their next move, how is the situation with Trump that much different? I understand the Goldwater rule but we as a field are still sitting on so much potential information about how he will proceed. It's not about labeling Trump one way and then that's it. I would love to see someone explain WHY it is serious danger for someone with NPD to be in a position of power.

Wowww....nothing more authentic and meaninfull than yuor words. This words are also valid for what is happening in my own country, Argentina. You can not imagine how accurate each word of yours is in our situation too. Sadly, this people are a reflection of the child parts that we are not looking at withim ourselves, pretending to be so cool in the meantime and ending being the victims of them when they rises up abruptly in the outside .....I hope we can finally integrate and transform them now that we have the oportunity to see them at all their potential!!!Thanks a lot🙏

Sounds like nailed all lame stream’s talking points 😎

❤️

As a European student, familiar and very much in love with your take of spirituality in RLT, I was surprised to see you commenting the way you did. When I received the email, I had looked forward to an attempt by a major person in the therapy/healing profession to bridge divisions, and not to create further strife. Of course I know that you are a side-taker, and that´s fine. However, in the therapeutical context, you always have a good basis for that. Here, I think it was too shortsighted and emotional to the point of generating more pain and panic ("no one will take care of your family than you"). I don´t even have a stake in the outcome except for one point: there was only one party who put peace and avoidance of further death, mutilation and traumatisation on their agenda. And it was not Kamala Harris or the "light-filled couple" - not with one word. Obviously, you are very remote of the slaughterhouse Ukraine, and don´t care (sharing that with the Democratic Party in general). If you do, and you may, you omit to consider this entirely. So, here are my points from one of your training sessions. - "We do not pathologise our client" - you just pathologised the majority of voters by assuming that all they want is to become as selfish as you call Trump out to be. - "Understanding the world from a multidimensional perspective. No hubris" - I was surprised to see a one-dimensional analysis. Where was the economy, immigration, global politics/war? - "We are not above you" - I was surprised to see you talk down equally to men and women (!) who voted for the other party. As much as you may loathe the outcome - given your recent years´ marked shift to the topic of "patriarchy" - I sensed only talking down from an unquestioned position of moral superiority. - "We teach .. detachment from outcome. ... We never get into fights with people." - I was surprised about your attachment to a particular outcome, and your willingness to get into a fight, instead of trying to mitigate and mediate the fights. Obviously, your comment was about politics and not therapy. But, you make only "therapeutical" arguments, and neglected all other aspects. So, it wasn´t really about politics. That said, I really appreciate your teachings, and I hope that eventually, it will be more about contributing to minimise splits than about disappointment and division.

Try Rwanda...she will probably get elected there. It's not a bad country...If forlorn, unhappy, and distraught here, y'all should think about moving to Rwanda with your preternaturally cerebral, eloquent, leader.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart Terry, for speaking truth. Those who simplistically dismiss your message as “political” do not understand what you have been teaching for decades about a domination system and men. You are now calling it out at the highest echelons of power.

Dear Terry, your e-mail&video assumed I'm concerned. I'm not. Please stick to your courses.

It is truly sad and tragic to read some of the comments here. I do not think Trump is the problem, nor do I believe the Democratic party is the solution. My lens is historical, global and non-binary. The fact that several viewers here (apparently some of whom are even RLT graduates and practitioners) can listen to an opinion piece which includes a verifiable clip of an American president stating “ you can grab their pussies, you can do anything you want” can proceed as if this is inconsequential background noise, and go on to complain and highlight Terry’s lack of objectivity or his politicization IS frightening. It is gaslighting on steroids. If you can’t see the ugly ills of patriarchy and the relational harm it causes, be it in the personal or political, then you have no business holding position or power in the field of mental health. This is so much bigger than who you voted for or which party you endorse.

I’ll take grandiosity over corruption any day🇺🇸

Imagine Big.Food and Pharma profiting from all the depressed Democrats.

I've known for a very long time that we live in a very unwise society. The election really shattered my concept of who we are as a nation. A slim majority of people knowingly voted back into office a sociopath, pathological liar, felon, sexual predator and insurrectionist who tried to steal an election, who fuels the fire of every dark impulse in human nature, because the price of eggs is too high. It's heartbreaking to acknowledge how foolish and blind our people are. Terry, you are right, we have to band together in anyway we can to form a purposeful nonviolent resistance. I refuse to be silent and be "good German". Yes, they will come for us for speaking up and speaking out. And they may get some on the front lines, but they can't get all of us if we band it together.

Thanks for sharing this - it is so important that we therapists do work outside our offices in some form to stand up to the likely abuses that will arise from the election outcome. I encourage everyone to seek out groups who are working at the local level. We may not all agree on every issue but we have got to promote relational attitudes and actions that do the opposite of what is being proposed by this new administration. I thought at the age of 74 my long ago career in community action had been supplanted by my 33 years being a couple and individual therapist - I think I have enough oomph, fight and commitment to the well being of this country to figure out how to contribute ….. I so hope you all can find a way to be relational within your communities.

Thank you so much Terry! I so resonate with your feelings, and listening to you helps me not feel alone. I am bereft, shocked and devasted too. Thank you again!

Sorry Terry, although I have taken your classes and respect you in your profession, I really think you’ve missed the mark on your (fearless) leadership on this one. I don’t expect you to be unbiased - but some self reflection would go a long way to not coming across as entitled and sanctimonious. First off, I’m Canadian, so really have little skin in your election results. Second, I agree with your perception (right or wrong, it’s perception) of the elected President - but this isn’t about one person, it’s about what has resonated (or rather doesn’t resonate) with the majority of the country. An election elects a party that reflects the majority - that IS democracy, even when you don’t like the result. If you were speaking to a fractured partnership, you would have gaslit (“thin majority” “entitlement” “narcissism” “racist” “environment will not be protected” “our rights will be assaulted” “billionaires unleashed” “mass deportation” “fatal future”), and made up stories about the partner without the respect of enquiry (“don’t want to get into a debate”). For these reasons, while you say “I don’t mean to be disrespectful” you actually are as it as equally disingenuous as saying “I don’t mean for this to hurt when I hit you.” You seem to be unable to reflect on why the Democrats have been unable to speak to what really matters to the majority of Americans and in fact have disenfranchised them. This lack of self reflection comes across as entitled and sanctimonious - likely not your intention - but it is the feeling one (and 76 million others) has been left with. Thus the result.