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Ask Sean (Sean Slevin ~ Transitions Counseling)
United States
Приєднався 19 сер 2022
Helping people make sense of life, relationships and being human through exploring questions submitted anonymously at www.AskSean.org. I'm Sean Slevin, a Licensed Professional Counselor, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Certified Sensorimotor Psychotherapist.
Keep Sharing Meals With Those You Politically Disagree With (In-Process Thoughts)
2024 and the coming presidential election is proving to be an intense, stressful, divisive time for American culture. I offer some reflections on this, particularly regarding the fear I am repeatedly hearing from folks that they will have to sever family and friend relationships over political differences.
_*In-Process Thoughts* are informal reflections and questions I am currently pondering regarding the human experience, often recorded as I go about life outside of my office._
*~About~*
I'm Sean Slevin, a _Licensed Professional Counselor,_ _Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist_ and a _Certified Sensorimotor Psychotherapist._ I love engaging with questions about life, relationships and being human. If you have a question for *Ask Sean* you can send it anonymously at: AskSean.org
*~Resources~*
_Resources, Books, Quizzes, etc.:_
mft.cc/resources
_If you are in need of a counselor_ I've written a guide to assist you in choosing a counselor and evaluating if they are a good fit for you:
mft.cc/choosecounselor
_Affiliate Disclosure:_ When you buy through links to Amazon, etc. provided here (or on my website) I may receive a commission on your purchase (at no cost to you).
*~Like, Share and Subscribe to Help Others Discover Ask Sean~*
If you found this video helpful you can facilitate more people encountering *Ask Sean* by _Liking_ this video, _Subscribing_ to the channel, and _Sharing_ this video/channel with others. Below is an easy-to-share address that redirects to the channel:
AskSean.org/UA-cam
#AskSeanSlevin #SeanInProcess #politics #democrats #republicans #democrat #republican #president #presiden2024 #election #community #vulnerability #emotions #AskSeanSlevinTherapist #AskSeanSlevinCounselor
_*In-Process Thoughts* are informal reflections and questions I am currently pondering regarding the human experience, often recorded as I go about life outside of my office._
*~About~*
I'm Sean Slevin, a _Licensed Professional Counselor,_ _Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist_ and a _Certified Sensorimotor Psychotherapist._ I love engaging with questions about life, relationships and being human. If you have a question for *Ask Sean* you can send it anonymously at: AskSean.org
*~Resources~*
_Resources, Books, Quizzes, etc.:_
mft.cc/resources
_If you are in need of a counselor_ I've written a guide to assist you in choosing a counselor and evaluating if they are a good fit for you:
mft.cc/choosecounselor
_Affiliate Disclosure:_ When you buy through links to Amazon, etc. provided here (or on my website) I may receive a commission on your purchase (at no cost to you).
*~Like, Share and Subscribe to Help Others Discover Ask Sean~*
If you found this video helpful you can facilitate more people encountering *Ask Sean* by _Liking_ this video, _Subscribing_ to the channel, and _Sharing_ this video/channel with others. Below is an easy-to-share address that redirects to the channel:
AskSean.org/UA-cam
#AskSeanSlevin #SeanInProcess #politics #democrats #republicans #democrat #republican #president #presiden2024 #election #community #vulnerability #emotions #AskSeanSlevinTherapist #AskSeanSlevinCounselor
Переглядів: 49
Відео
What Should We Do with Our Unfulfilled Longings?
Переглядів 95Місяць тому
We all experience disappointment. And if we're brave enough to be honest with ourself, we have deep longings that are unfulfilled. So what do we do with these? Do we get angry? Do try to pretend we don't care? Could it be possible that working to stay connected with our longings while not abandoning our grief we might actually find some of the peace (and even joy!) we are looking for? ~About~ I...
Are You Grieving or Whining?
Переглядів 39Місяць тому
It can be rather mean to tell someone in pain to, “Quit your whining!” And yet, I have discovered in my own journey of healing, and in my work with clients, that not all expressions of pain are aiming for healthy grieving. Sometimes we (myself included!) are tempted to whine, complain, gripe about something, unconsciously pretending we are grieving, but actually blocking those around us from pr...
No One Can Make You Feel Safe
Переглядів 232 місяці тому
It is common in our culture to say things like, “I want someone to make my feel safe” (or respected, or beautiful, or valued, etc.). Or similarly, “You are making me feel unsafe.” This is partly a vague, shorthand way of trying to communicate things we long for in our relationships with others, but without our doing the hard work of specifying to ourself, or the other person, what in particular...
You Are So Much More Than Your Niceness
Переглядів 342 місяці тому
Some of us are very attached to being a nice person, so much so that the thought of not “being nice” can make us feel sick to our stomach or panicky-we _have_ to be nice. This often indicates that our niceness is less wholesome than we have imagined, and in fact is an unconscious strategy for surviving life. This is understandable (and very common!), but it raises the question of what to do wit...
Beauty Is What We Make of Goodness and Truth (A Quote by Russ Ramsey)
Переглядів 1003 місяці тому
_“This is where beauty is so essential. The pursuit of beauty requires the application of goodness and truth for the benefit of others. Beauty is what we make of goodness and truth. Beauty takes the pursuit of goodness past mere personal ethical conduct to the work of intentionally doing good to and for others. Beauty takes the pursuit of truth past the accumulation of knowledge to the proclama...
Uncertainty Is Vulnerable, Yet Necessary (In-Process Thoughts)
Переглядів 263 місяці тому
It can be tempting to think that a totally certain, predictable life would be wonderful, but what if uncertainty and change are part of being alive? _*In-Process Thoughts* are informal reflections and questions I am currently pondering regarding the human experience, often recorded as I go about life outside of my office._ *~About~* I'm Sean Slevin, a _Licensed Professional Counselor,_ _License...
If Only We Could Look Beyond Our Imagined Impressions of Others (A Quote by Russ Ramsey)
Переглядів 983 місяці тому
_“If only people could look beyond their imagined impressions of others, if only we could see each other as we really are and not as exaggerated stereotypes, if only a genuine curiosity about the lives of others formed our pursuit to know them, then so many of the forces that divide us would be emptied of their power. We would see the common human experiences of joy and sorrow, love and loss, s...
It Takes Repetition for Our Body & Psyche to Work Through Painful Experiences (In-Process Thoughts)
Переглядів 343 місяці тому
After a painful experience our body and/or parts of our psyche can still feel unsafe, even though the rest of our being feels fine. We can learn to be gentle even as we intentionally step towards the challenge of helping these aspects of us heal. _*In-Process Thoughts* are informal reflections and questions I am currently pondering regarding the human experience, often recorded as I go about li...
Keep Riding Through Your Mistakes (In-Process Thoughts)
Переглядів 343 місяці тому
Some reflections from a recent fall (off a horse) regarding the value of continuing on through our mistakes, both to face our fear and shame, and also to work out/through the bruised places in us to help prevent scar tissue. _*In-Process Thoughts* are informal reflections and questions I am currently pondering regarding the human experience, often recorded as I go about life outside of my offic...
The Importance of Risk for Growth (In-Process Thoughts)
Переглядів 244 місяці тому
It is so tempting to make risk-avoidance our highest priority, and yet this inevitably leads to a constricted, anemic life. A rich life-a meaningful life-will involve facing and working through the vulnerability of risk. _*In-Process Thoughts* are informal reflections and questions I am currently pondering regarding the human experience, often recorded as I go about life outside of my office._ ...
Healthy Grief Makes More Things Possible in Challenging Relationships (In-Process Thoughts)
Переглядів 264 місяці тому
Healthy Grief Makes More Things Possible in Challenging Relationships (In-Process Thoughts)
The Benefits of Listening to My Body (In-Process Thoughts)
Переглядів 284 місяці тому
The Benefits of Listening to My Body (In-Process Thoughts)
How Are You Half-Asking Your Relationships?
Переглядів 714 місяці тому
How Are You Half-Asking Your Relationships?
Life Is Lived in Ambiguity, Not Precision (In-Process Thoughts)
Переглядів 465 місяців тому
Life Is Lived in Ambiguity, Not Precision (In-Process Thoughts)
What Are Your Bad Habits Trying to Teach You?
Переглядів 1305 місяців тому
What Are Your Bad Habits Trying to Teach You?
Why I Don’t Keep a Waitlist for New Clients
Переглядів 186 місяців тому
Why I Don’t Keep a Waitlist for New Clients
Creating Space in My Mornings and Evenings by Fasting From Technology (In-Process Thoughts)
Переглядів 266 місяців тому
Creating Space in My Mornings and Evenings by Fasting From Technology (In-Process Thoughts)
How to Talk to People You Disagree With
Переглядів 557 місяців тому
How to Talk to People You Disagree With
The Importance of Emotional Vulnerability for Sexual Intimacy
Переглядів 1837 місяців тому
The Importance of Emotional Vulnerability for Sexual Intimacy
Why You Should Face Your Triggers Instead of Avoiding Them
Переглядів 698 місяців тому
Why You Should Face Your Triggers Instead of Avoiding Them
Why It Can Be Worthwhile to Postpone Sex
Переглядів 1448 місяців тому
Why It Can Be Worthwhile to Postpone Sex
Why Am I Afraid to Date (After They Are Interested in Me)?
Переглядів 639 місяців тому
Why Am I Afraid to Date (After They Are Interested in Me)?
Living in Fear of Causing Harm Can Prevent Us From Doing Good (In-Process Thoughts)
Переглядів 339 місяців тому
Living in Fear of Causing Harm Can Prevent Us From Doing Good (In-Process Thoughts)
Reviewing the Aurora LightPad Mini Light Therapy Box
Переглядів 939 місяців тому
Reviewing the Aurora LightPad Mini Light Therapy Box
Sometimes You Just Have to Try Something (In-Process Thoughts)
Переглядів 3410 місяців тому
Sometimes You Just Have to Try Something (In-Process Thoughts)
It Can Take Courage to Quit (In-Process Thoughts)
Переглядів 1610 місяців тому
It Can Take Courage to Quit (In-Process Thoughts)
This guy seems soy as hell, you can already tell how he leans politically.
🤣 "Soy as hell" is a new one to me! Does that mean like a hippie (eg, soy milk), and thus you think I lean Left/Progressive? Regardless, I'm curious if you watched the whole video and what you think of all that I had to say?
Love
This relates to something I was just discussing with some friends, regarding Comer's book, Practicing the Way. The topic was eliminating distraction from our life, so we can spend more time with God. I want to spend more time each day sitting in my emotions with God. But I absolutely agree there is value in spending intentional time with other human beings in our painful spots.
Oh yes, both! My viewing audience is a mix of Christian and non-Christian so I don't go as fully into the Christian side a lot of the time, but I definitely apply all of this personally to my relationship with God. My inner-work (as a client) via Psychedelic-Assisted Therapy ( ua-cam.com/video/35QNMwuCvpg/v-deo.html ) has deepened my felt-sense of God being there with me in my pain, and I have felt very "held" and comforted by the Trinity in my recent sadness. 😊
I love your authenticity Sean! It makes me feel like it is ok for me to be human, too. If that makes sense?
Oh, that makes my heart so happy -- if viewers get nothing else from my videos I hope they at least feel more free to just be human. Thanks, man, for sharing this! 😊
Love this and love seeing you on the horse! So cool!
Thank you -- glad you enjoyed it! 😁
Kind of a joke you don’t take insurance 👍
I'm curious if there was something in this video that sparked that disappointment (I confess I can't remember if I briefly talked about insurance in the video or not), or if you more-so are just coming from a place of feeling frustrated that not all counselors take insurance?
Good things to ponder! Ambiguity is a reality and we need wisdom to navigate that, as well as trust that God will be with us in that uncomfortable place. I recently spoke at a church’s conference on faith and mental health. My topic was “Surviving and Thriving in the Second Half of Life,” and embracing paradox was my theme. I got a lot of inspiration from Richard Rohr’s book Falling Upward (though I read him with a filter). Will you be at the Hopewords conference in WV next month? If so, I would love to meet and discuss mental health, faith, and creativity!
Very cool. I have not had a chance to read a ton of Rohr, but have heard good things about his writings regarding the second half of life. You might also appreciate James Hollis who I like a lot: mft.cc/bk/1592402070 And yes, I will be at Hopewords -- come find me and we'll chat! Just look for my beard! 😁
Thank you, Sean. I was looking for this quote to share with a client. I really appreciate your effort & good voice.
Oh thank you, Angelina -- that is meaningful to hear! I'm so glad this reading could be a resource for you and your client. 😊
Thank you for your thoughts. All ways a good outlook on things!
Thanks man!
Interesting thoughts. Thank you for sharing! ❤
Hey man, thanks for your comment, and you're very welcome! 😊
<3
There is no such thing as healthy flirting. Only desperate losers flirt. If you have confidence and see potential in someone you will say that you like what you like about them and say do you want to get to know each other better. Flirting shows insecurity and that you are only looking for a hookup.
I agree with your emphasis on being direct. Using flirting as a way of avoiding risk (ie, just playing it safe) is not healthy, and can definitely lead to just using people. And there are definitely many saddening examples in our culture of the behaviors you're describing. But what I was trying to explore in this video is a contrasting healthy category that is focused on blessing and encouraging our fellow humans in safe, respectful ways (the author I link to in the video description explores this idea in interesting ways). There may be a better term for this than "healthy flirting," but if I remember correctly I think this video was in the context of an interview so I was probably trying to work with the language that was put forth in a question. But I'm curious if you had any thoughts/reactions about the content of the video (and the nuanced ideas I was exploring), or were you mainly reacting to the video title? Regardless, thanks for your comment! 😊
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences. I am so interested in this and appreciate your vulnerability.
You're so welcome, Julie -- glad you found it helpful!
You said a whole lot of nothing….
I'm sorry that what I shared and my way of communicating landed so poorly. I admittedly can be quite rambly! I do hope, however, that you will at some point find more of whatever you were hoping for. And certainly feel free to submit an anonymous question ( www.AskSean.org ) referencing this video, regarding whatever you'd like me to attempt to say more clearly or to further unpack. 😊
@@ask-sean Im sorry that was a cruel comment. I was very angry at my situation at that time. I hope you understand and I don’t mind if you delete this comment
@@Mom_of_the_Chickies I am just now seeing your reply (not sure why I didn't get/see a notification), but thank you so much -- that was very kind and vulnerable of you. I do understand being in places of pain and lashing out because we desperately long for life to be different -- it is very human. Thank you for your follow-up, and I am so sorry for whatever hard you were/are going through.
Great reading! We all need to share things like this!
Thanks, and agreed! Also it's fun seeing you on here! :)
For me personally it gets overwhelming trying to appear attractive to a woman while also having to be nice at the same time. It literally dont work togheter. And when it isnt that. i fear committing to a woman knowing shes way more than just likely to leave me anyways like atleast 80-90% of women leave marriages. It feels like im playing a stupid game designed to not only make me loose but make me loose right after letting me think i will win. I may not make the same mistakes as thos percentages. But looking at what causes women to leave its pretty much out of our power. Its just them giving up when everything isnt a thrill anymore. Lack of communication. So many dangers. I cant forgive a cheater but i know most infidelity can be avoided. What leads to that? Idek. I have never met a woman capable of thinking forward when it comes to her own personal and emotional happiness wich makes no sense to me. And it puts that pressure on men to provide that.
I am sorry for the deep pain you are carrying. I can't really give the kind of full, lengthy response here in a comment that what you've shared deserves, so I would invite you to consider submitting some/all of your above concerns as an anonymous question/story for a potential future video: AskSean.org But regardless of whether you decide to do that, the very brief thought I would offer (in addition to my sadness for your pain) is that "trying to appear attractive" or anything else is generally not a helpful direction, because it can put all of our focus on things we have no control over (and which we might be tempted to try to somehow control). Instead I recommend focusing your energy on becoming the kind of person _you_ would want to spend time with. Because in the end, _you_ will always be there so it is best to learn to like, love and enjoy the person you are and are becoming. This, of course, is no easy task. But it has the potential to bring you far more satisfaction and joy than your current path, and regardless of whether you enter a partner relationship or not the direction I am suggesting is likely to make healthier relationships more possible for you. Wish I were able to write more, but again, you're welcome to consider submitting an anonymous question/story for me to potentially respond to in a future UA-cam video.
perhaps those billion things desire to know/experience You, and so by knowing yourself these things can simply flow through you? I've had a similar question myself, with my youtube playlist amounting... by knowing desire we know the journey, by knowing non-desire we know wonder- from dao te jing. like your answer as well, recognising tension as that emotion that shapes our life
Nick Cave sees way below the surface, he is an advanced soul. Push the sky away
Well said! A dear artist friend of mine refers to him affectionately as Saint Nick: instagram.com/p/CpnQmGjOsr7/
Hi I am from Indonesia
Hi!
POIGNANNT AND TRUE. GRIEF BRINGS YOU CLOSER TO ALLAH
Thank you for sharing ♥️🕊beautiful 👑
that is the sexiest thing ive ever heard
Maybe "sensitive" will become the new "sexy."
This is very helpful. Thank you.
I'm so glad. :)
Thank you so much for this! <3
So true
in other words don't think of work and play...it's ALL play? and we shouldn't beat ourselves up and torture our selves...just BE!!!GOD BLESS
Great quote ty
Thank you for sharing this. This was a great reminder for me to face my fears instead of running from them. It expanded me idea on what life is; you mentioned we are meant to be out there. I do believe humans are meant to explore and grow. In order to grow, we must face challenges. This was a great reminder for me at the point of life I am currently in. I am glad this popped up on my recommend. The technique of facing out fears is very much related to what exposure therapy is, a technique of behavior therapy. A way we can also work through these conditioned responses we’ve developed is through systematic desensitization, another technique in behavior therapy.
So glad this came to you at the right time and was so helpful! And you're absolutely right about the exposure therapy / systematic desensitization reference -- it's all the same principles. Thanks for sharing! 😊
This is so good.
Sean, this was incredible. And you are incredible. You are a blessing to this world, and I appreciate your insight on these things.
Dude, thank you -- that's really meaningful!
❤
Thank you, Sean.
So happy to see another of your videos pop up. THANK YOU!
Thank you for making these videos!
Awesome, Sean. Thank you for doing these videos.
I'm so very excited to see you starting a UA-cam Channel, Sean! What a blessing this will be for so many.
Oh, thank you, Cindy! :)
Thank you for offering this Sean. I believe you will be a transmitter of wisdom and direction for many.
Thanks so much, man -- I appreciate it!