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TREEfort Child and Family Therapy
United States
Приєднався 8 гру 2019
I'm a Play Therapist and Family Therapist. This channel is designed to be a resource for families to use at home and to more deeply understand the complex dynamics of child development and family culture.
Being Fully Present
The only place you and I can make an impact is in this very moment, right now. It’s very easy to get stuck in your own head and not interact with reality (the here and now). You can interact with your own thoughts and feelings, but it may have no effect at all on reality in this moment. I’ve had plenty of conversations in my mind that have never produced any real change!
In this video, I want to show you the most powerful tool I have ever encountered for making the most impact in any relationship.
In this video, I want to show you the most powerful tool I have ever encountered for making the most impact in any relationship.
Переглядів: 597
Відео
Making Apologies That Make a Difference
Переглядів 2872 роки тому
Let’s be honest. You and I are both going to make a lot of mistakes along the way in parenting. It can leave you feeling powerless, foolish and looking for a good blanket to hide under. Research shows that making apologies can make a huge difference in the relationship and ends up creating so many benefits. So why do so many parents avoid doing it? I think it’s because what we think of as an ap...
When You Don't Know What to Do
Переглядів 9942 роки тому
There are so many times I’ve found myself in a situation where I have no idea how to respond. My mind goes, blank, I feel a tight squeeze in my body and time seems to stand still! Sometimes this happens when I hear something I didn’t expect, feel pressure to have a good answer or am confronted with values and ideas that are so different than mine. Here are a few ideas that have really helped me...
Being Congruent- De-escalate By Making Your Inside and Outside Match
Переглядів 4512 роки тому
Sometimes it’s hard to tell what someone is feeling or thinking by looking at them. Even when there is emotional intensity, people sometimes hide or disguise their interior and appear very different on the outside. This can cause a lot of confusion and usually leads to escalation. Today, we’re going to take a look at the idea of congruence and how it can really help when you are having a diffic...
Should I Help or Should I Let My Child Figure it Out
Переглядів 1992 роки тому
This is part two of the Difficult Conversations series. Today we’ll take a look at how to decide whether you should take an active role in helping out your child or let them resolve it themselves. Organizing Feelings ua-cam.com/video/Uaexg9fw80A/v-deo.html Helplessness: Goals of Behavior ua-cam.com/video/aGxFTWciDLU/v-deo.html
Difficult Conversations - Going to the Doctor, Dentist, New School
Переглядів 1432 роки тому
Today we’ll take a look at some of the real anxiety producing experiences kids face. Sometimes it’s hard for adults to relate to why these would be scary…like getting a haircut, for example. When anyone faces the unknown, their brain doesn’t like it and will quickly attempt to fill in those blanks from their catalog of experiences. Adults have the luxury of a whole range of experiences to draw ...
How Do You Keep Your Batteries Charged?
Переглядів 5083 роки тому
Sometimes I wish I had an indicator I could see that would give me a warning when I need to pause and recharge. Whatever your role is with kids, it can be easy to get burned out. I’d like to show you a tool I use for myself and the families I work. This will help you figure out what needs to happen to get back on track and get those batteries fully charged again. This is something you can work ...
Intensity is the Enemy
Переглядів 2273 роки тому
Have you ever been called in to your boss’s office? What about the principals office, when you were a kid? Or how about someone you care about saying the dreaded words “we need to talk”? How does that feel? How much are you able to listen? This is how your kids feel when you try to parent or discipline using intensity. That’s why I often say intensity is the enemy…in fact, it can make our brain...
Helplessness Goals of Behavior
Переглядів 2673 роки тому
Helplessness can make any parent feel like they’ve lost their grip on reality. It can be hard to tell the difference between when kids actually can’t do something and when it’s something else. Even if you can tell, what do you do when they act this way? Let’s unpack this one and look at what a child’s goals are with this behavior as well as some ways to work with them.
Telling the Story of the Year
Переглядів 1063 роки тому
Each year, my family tells a long story on New Years day. We gather up some good snacks, family photos and begin to look back at our experiences as we tell “The Story of the Year”. This story uses everyone as the narrator and often one person initiates it.
Revenge - Goals of Behavior
Переглядів 2933 роки тому
Revenge is a tricky behavior. It’s one that is easy to take personally because it often hurts others. However, many times when kids are acting out revenge seeking, they can actually be trying to show you how bad they feel and don’t intend to hurt you intentionally (though that’s not always true). In this video, we’ll unpack this behavior and look at ways you can help to redirect them. We’ll als...
Power Struggles - Goals of Behavior
Переглядів 4173 роки тому
What does it mean when your kids get into power struggles with you? What’s the best way to respond so it doesn’t just keep going and going? I think there’s a good chance that boarding schools were invented because of this! Getting into power struggles with your kids can be so exhausting that it can make you just want to send them away. But what if there was a way to use the power struggle to ge...
Attention Seeking- Goals of Behavior
Переглядів 5993 роки тому
Attention seeking is a behavior that many kids engage in. Most of the time, we look at this and don't see the message kids are giving us. Finding the message (or a child's goal) is the key to making this behavior change or stop. It's the difference between putting out a series of spot fires or putting out the main source of the fire. In this video I give you some steps to analyze this so you ca...
Organize Feelings
Переглядів 4833 роки тому
When kids feel this chaotic on the inside, they can end up lashing out at anyone nearby. It can feel like a small thing to label someone else’s feelings and experiences, but just like a junk drawer, it can help create order from chaos and start self-regulation.
Demonstration of The ACT Model
Переглядів 9114 роки тому
Here’s a demonstration of how the flow of using the ACT Model could look. It takes practice to be able to flow with this and know what to say, so give yourself some time and practice to get used to it.
The ACT Model - Discipline and Limits Through Choices
Переглядів 1,4 тис.4 роки тому
The ACT Model - Discipline and Limits Through Choices
Flipping Your Lid 2 - The Window of Tolerance
Переглядів 2,1 тис.4 роки тому
Flipping Your Lid 2 - The Window of Tolerance
Family Survival Kit part 2- Build a Fort!
Переглядів 1074 роки тому
Family Survival Kit part 2- Build a Fort!
"I wonder..." A technique to help improve communication
Переглядів 3014 роки тому
"I wonder..." A technique to help improve communication
What does angry and aggressive play mean?
Переглядів 2404 роки тому
What does angry and aggressive play mean?
Playing with Your Family Can Change Everything!
Переглядів 1424 роки тому
Playing with Your Family Can Change Everything!
Fun helps relax as opposed to being tense
Yes! And it has the added benefit of disarming the fight/flight/freeze/collapse state in the brain...see this for more on that : ua-cam.com/video/iLg-oL0ldZA/v-deo.html
amazing content!
Super insightful! Thank you!
This was so awesome! Thank you so much for this sharing and learning experience.
Excellent examples, thank you very much 🥰🥰🥰
So helpful thank you.
Can you give examples to do with a 2 year old- thank you
This was an illustration. It felt rather harmless. Each situation is different, but in this case I'm sure he knew his son knew about details in drawings. They probably talked about it other times, when not angry. Actually, helping kids put words to their problems is a good thing, even if they didn't hear the word before. One time is always the first occasion, right? But if you deal with deep trauma, maybe those details it's not the first thing to discuss.
Thank you for your insight.
Very helpful for anyone …
The pandemic! No!
Can you do a couple more videos. 1. what to do when kids start using these regulation techniques as a form of escape and they say they're upset immediately or they keep sayign they're not ok yet, at school just to get out of doing work they don't like? School has a calm down corner with books and toys and the kid wants to sit there and not come back so he is acting up more just to sit there instead of doing work. Also, when school sends to counselor they will do this for any work they don't want to do, not even getting disregulated. The teacher says math work is coming out and the kid will just instantly grunt and get mad or throw their pen or paper when they hadnn't even seen the work. 2. what can we do to teach regulation for when the parent isn't there. Diff kid gets escalated and can work through regulation wtih parent at home, talk about feelings, but when go to other parents house they get escalated and end up having cascading intense emotions.
Sorry to bother you, but what do you do when you're not sure what your batteries are? I feel like I have been a giver as long as I can remember and I would put help others as a battery, but that's what we're charging our batteries for. I don't even know where to begin with this. Also, I just found your videos this week and I absolutely love them!
Hey there! It's hard to say without knowing you, but in general look for things you like to do that bring you alive or make you feel refilled and energized. Don't think of "events" like a vacation, think of everyday kinds of things like reading or talking to a friend. It's got to be something you can do everyday. (or at least very often)
👍👍 Nice
wow
thank you so much my daughter is 5 years old and i needed this
You are using words too big. “Details”? What does this mean to a young traumatized child? Nothing. They don’t understand the word. Please try again with different language.
Great stuff. You do really well at taking a lot of content and complex theory and making it practical. Look forward to learning more from you and sharing with others. Please don't stop being you!
I really appreciate it - thank you!
I am a middle school teacher, and I appreciate these videos SO MUCH, please keep making them!
Hello Is your work based on RDI? RELATIONSHIP DEVELOPMENT INTERVENTION?
@@jeanettedeaver3894 Thank you!
What great videos. I can only imagine how things might have been different if this sort of attitude and approach had been available when I was young, and I'm sure I speak for many others.
Great video. Thanks for posting. It helps me understand more fully what I think is going on with one of my kids.
Thank you! I think it's fascinating to find out what kids are actually trying to do. Oftentimes there are parts you would never expect and, once you know, it can really empower you to interact with them differently! Really glad to hear this was helpful for you- all the best to you.
I recently found your videos and they have been really helpful to me as a parent and a teacher! thanks for sharing
I'm so glad you're finding these helpful! Thanks for letting me know. I wish you all the best.
Thanks for all of these videos! Starting my career as a speech therapist, and these offer a wonderful framework for establishing a safe environment for the kids.
Congratulations on your new career! I'm so gad you're finding these helpful. This is one of those topics I keep going back to over and over again myself. Learning what a child's goals are just tells you so much! All the best to you!
This was extremely helpful and a great resource that I'll keep coming back to. Thank you so much for making it and I hope you keep sharing more of your knowledge and skills.
Not s9 good with covid to blow on each other.
These three videos are wonderful. Thank you.
Thanks so much! I'm really glad you're finding them helpful!
Loved the way you explained the process! Thanks for taking the time and effort to making these videos. Look forward to seeing more 😉
Thank you for sharing these wisdom nuggets with us, Jason. I can see how these ideas will work with adults as well as children. I wish I had known these things as a young parent. Blessings!
Hey there! Thank you so much! Wonderful to hear from you- please say hi to everyone for me!
Great advice - you’re a stellar communicator. Thanks Jason!
Thank you!
This is brilliant! Thank you for sharing this!
Thanks! I'm so glad you're finding this helpful! It has saved me from freezing in many situations...
Awesome, Jason. Thanks for another great video. As always, you make profound things in life so simple and accessible.
Thank you! I'm so glad you're finding it helpful!
Can you share sun depth the child’s options you have available, bubbles and what else? Will this be appropriate for a 10 year old? Thank you, this was great!
I always teach my son, if you ever feel you can't do something, ask for help :D
Hey Jason it is Hadlee
How wonderful. Thank you for sharing!
Something tells me your Steve Correll's father...
Where can I find a resource for these "games".
for future visitors, there's a video on co-regulation games. ua-cam.com/video/eTV8GKrQjqo/v-deo.htmlsi=89sYXiig9Y54JkVQ and do check the entire playlist.
I needed this so bad this morning! Thank you for your help and just being you!
This is cool. When my son would get very upset, I used to tell him "draw me your mad". It really seemed to help the immediate situation. This takes it to another level.
Brilliant! Thank you for sharing this, Jason.
SUPER Helpful!! As an adult it is a reminder that I need to stay aware of how I process during stress. I am a possum married to a watchdog so your analogy and descriptions were insightful! Keep the videos coming.
I couldn't find a good way to post the Bruce Perry graph I mentioned...but it is in my latest blog post that you can see here: www.treeforttherapy.com/blog/flipping-your-lid
Part 1 was a blog post located here- www.treeforttherapy.com/blog/family-survival-kit and the other parts will be here: www.treeforttherapy.com/blog
Forts rule! Great idea Jason!! Thank you!
I think just about everything is better in a fort!
pls subscribe here too
Part 1 was a blog post located here- www.treeforttherapy.com/blog/family-survival-kit