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Solomon
United Kingdom
Приєднався 2 вер 2024
How to thrive as an average guy
How I destroyed my relationship, day by day
I grew up as a shy gamer, and after starting self-improvement I somehow actually got a gf.
Aaand I ruined it, because self-improvement taught me how to get a girlfriend, not how to create a meaningful relationship.
Hopefully you can learn from my mistakes :)
Instagram: SolomonDarbey
0:00 Intro
4:47 My first relationship
7:08 The Strange Situation
11:34 Protective Hopelessness
13:08 Lessons Learned
14:52 My current gf
22:14 Outro
Aaand I ruined it, because self-improvement taught me how to get a girlfriend, not how to create a meaningful relationship.
Hopefully you can learn from my mistakes :)
Instagram: SolomonDarbey
0:00 Intro
4:47 My first relationship
7:08 The Strange Situation
11:34 Protective Hopelessness
13:08 Lessons Learned
14:52 My current gf
22:14 Outro
Переглядів: 4 248
Відео
Why I embraced being cringe and how it got me laid
Переглядів 2,1 тис.21 день тому
The advice I got given about how to act with girls was so trash, everyone said 'fake it til you make it', that was a curse that kept me trapped for SO long until I finally ditched it, and started being honest. Instagram: SolomonDarbey 0:00 Got dumped 0:50 Cringe #1 4:24 Cringe #2 8:11 What I Learned 9:09 Finally success 11:18 Summary
I realised life was slipping through my fingers and it made me cry
Переглядів 2,2 тис.Місяць тому
Rest in peace Reckful. Instagram: SolomonDarbey 0:00 Story #1 2:05 I had to change. 5:31 The delusion begins 10:10 The delusion ends 14:04 Story #2 15:59 What I learned
How hiding my insecurity almost cost me my life
Переглядів 2,2 тис.2 місяці тому
I have this embarrassing problem, so I hid it, and something terrible almost happened. We live our lives, trying our best to enjoy it, to overcome sadness and pain, and we are ashamed about aspects of ourselves, some of which we have no control over. I was forced to own this insecurity and it gave me a new perspective which I wanted to share. Instagram: SolomonDarbey 0:00 Story #1...
Why I embraced being lonely and how it got me laid
Переглядів 218 тис.3 місяці тому
Negative emotions are your compass to a fulfilling life, it took me so long to realise this, but when I did, my confidence skyrocketed. Instagram: SolomonDarbey 0:00 Story #1 4:54 Why it's good 8:53 Story #2 12:43 What had changed 16:41 Summary
Why I stopped resisting watching p*rn
Переглядів 3,6 тис.3 місяці тому
Resisting urges is a huge tax to your willpower, I think I've recently realise the benefit of using willpower to build positive habits, rather than avoid negative ones. 0:00 Intro 0:36 Addicted early 1:44 Shame 2:49 Fighting Urges 3:32 Progress 4:32 I got STUCK 5:46 What if I Give in 6:16 Willpower = Paycheck 8:58 Success! 10:39 Acceptance 11:15 The Results 13:12 Summary
Why I Stopped Fantasizing About My Ideal Life
Переглядів 1,2 тис.3 місяці тому
I always had imaginary conversations of things I should've said, I didn't realise this fantasy was a solution to my negative emotions - and that I needed to give this up to start changing my life. 0:00 Intro 0:55 Shower Thoughts 2:09 The Reality 3:45 It feels GOOD 5:47 Avoiding the now 6:59 How to fix it 9:25 Summary
Judging others means judging yourself
Переглядів 4964 місяці тому
Watching Reality TV is so relaxing, it's helps you 'switch off' and honestly it's hilarious. At the same time, I didn't realise how it was messing with my ability to take risks - being more mindful of this helped me be kinder to others and then to myself. 0:00 Intro 1:21 Why it's bad 2:27 Types of Judgement 4:30 Increasing Standards 5:27 Self-Sabotage 7:25 So what?
I'm Lazy and it's not that bad
Переглядів 5344 місяці тому
My experience is that being lazy is not that bad. You're still able to improve yourself and you don't have to make sacrifices or hate life while you do it. 0:00 Intro 0:36 Cost of Success 1:38 Accepting Being Lazy 3:58 #1 Feeling Behind 5:22 #2 Let Yourself Be Sh*t 6:54 #3 Which Version Are You? 8:17 Ending
I Finally Accepted That I'm Average
Переглядів 2,9 тис.4 місяці тому
Being average is hard to accept, but it's NORMAL and I wish I knew how much easier life becomes after embracing this. 0:00 Life as an average guy 2:42 Failing School 8:04 Starting University 11:41 Talking to girls 13:22 What IS average? 14:52 Why average is good 18:56 Outro
you are a great storyteller bro
Thanks mate.
indian jew look the name Solomon Hebrew
Wait so did you get laid or not?
never have i related to someone on the internet more in my entire life
That's crazy and unfair, I'm watching this vedeo from another country and I'm really upset that I'm too far away to try something with you. So I just see the peson I really like - your face, your mimics , your voice, your intonations, everything, but can do nothing, damn. Man, you're handsome, just know that. Sometimes I don't understand the world and how it works, it's more like a lottery
My mindset now till this day now is never set an expectations because it will lead you to disappointments and dissatisfaction, if you ever did expect accept willingly the outcome whether it is bad nor good. Go with the current life flow but enjoy it with your own pace. Ignore negative insights/doings from people who wants you to fail from doing something from your goals. Possibly help people in need when you can help. Sharing is caring people with good mindset and attitude will strive to continue on living. Accept the reality of life outcomes.
Guzzling Huel too, the foremost sign of a loser.
Got you laid? What an idiot, what a disrespectful way to refer to having sex. Loser.
I think the worst mistake we made as men was to assume that girlfriend was the key to our happiness. you pay dearly for that ignorance. but the message was good and definetly most of u need to lay off the video games and get some vitamin d (sunlight). the lack of it is killing ur testosterone. as if the micro plastics in the water wasn't enough already. also no u didn't talk yourself out of an opportunity with the tinder girl. u talked yourself into dodging a bullet. I've heard the "my friend is drunk I have to take care of her" god knows how many times. sometimes its true but a lot of times it means she found a better option. and when she texts u back to see if u will still come out after she cancelled, its because her date did not work out well or the guy stood her up and now she's looking for plan b or C and ur that plan. if ur just looking for fun, no issue but if ur craving intimacy or connection........ this is the worst type of woman to go to if thats what your looking to accomplish. you dodged a bullet, universe chose not to hit u with that.
This guy is making shet up lol
Came for the depression stayed for the RuneScape music
What kind of British accent do you have?
I was very shy growing up and I would spend most of my time playing video games and using the internet. Eventually I moved to my home country and started going to high school there. My social skills were very bad and I couldn't really connect with other people, plus there were numerous cultural differences I didn't know about. I felt like I wasn't enough so I got involved in self improvement and based my whole identity around it. Eventually I met a girl I felt I had a really good connection with but I ruined it because I was insecure and tried to push it to be a relationship and I was a huge creep in doing that. I still feel very ashamed for it looking back. I moved on now and I completely changed my outlook on social interactions and other things since then and I find it quite easy to get along with people and I feel like I'm appreciated more by others now that I'm being my authentic self. I've also let go of the idea of self improvement since I saw how it pushed me to do things that I wasn't passionate about for the sake of being viewed more favorably in the eyes of others and made me set unrealistic expectations for myself which made me even more unhappy. Your story felt really relatable to me. I thought I was the only one going through these things so it's reassuring to hear this coming from someone else. Also, good video! Wish you the best
why does bro have nothing in the background at all
Not only lonely but also feeling invisible. I feel like a nameless side character in a romance book where those main characters are playing their perfect roles and I am just there invisible, supporting the main characters. I just give up at this point. Tired of waiting for my turn to find love
Let's go bro
Even getting a match on tinder has filled me with sadness and jealousy. I’ve been trying so hard for almost two years since losing my 10 year ex.
based & redpilled
I haven’t watched the full video yet. But 4:55 , never enter a relationship for validation. Your worth is your responsibility. I’m saying this because when you have low self worth it actually harms your partner. You’ll be severely insecure leading to you doing things like projecting onto them, having trust issues, jealousy, maybe become controlling, the list goes on. Avoidant and anxious attachment styles stem from your sense of worth. On the flip side you are more likely to end up with dangerous partners who will take advantage of you. A Lot of awful people are actively searching for low self worth so they can mold you to their liking, strip you of your identity, have high unrealistic demands for you, and they want to feel powerful and control you. You are easy to control. They’ll make you feel some worth, then purposely rip it away. Yes, those types of people are common. 1/100 people have NPD. 1/25 sociopaths. They are looking for you. You're an easy target because you’re determining your worth as a human being off other FLAWED IMMATURE humans. Having low self worth and severe insecurity sometimes is also a symptom of emotional immaturity as well. Along with bad communication, being passive aggressive, choosing anger first etc. As human beings you are priceless. No human being should EVER be above or below you. Think about someone in your life you’re intimidated, or think is above you. Great, they are actually equal to you no matter what. No matter their achievements or how they look. Judging worth by looks and achievements is so dehumanising etc. you were priceless the day you were born. Also people will start respecting you more when you respect yourself. That’s because humans pick up on energy, you radiate what you feel. People will respect you more when you respect yourself. That’s why they say confidence is attractive. Because people assume you have something good going on from the energy you radiate. Maybe you have it all together or have your life sorted. So start respecting yourself. Really, please validate yourself first before you ever enter a relationship or things will crash and burn. Most relationships fail because people don't fix their trauma and baggage, and now their partner has to deal with it.
❤🎉 a rare presentation of honesty and truth telling....and the degree of internal thinking or ruminating is so relatable.
Stay strong mate, good stuff and thanks for this lmao
Got you bro, thanks for the love 👊🏽
Everything is good. Just remove the background music.
Thanks, I'm split about the music, sometimes it works really well - but I agree sometimes it doesn't fit hmmmm
@SolomonDarbey it is just a distraction, you have nice voice and authentic talk, there is no need to overlay any music.
Fk you, let either watch it or don’t. I like the music. And as a creator myself, watch time and audience retention grows when there is background music. You’re in the minority.
@@SolomonDarbey to be honest i like it 😭, but yeah it's about a person's taste i think, me personally i like it
You’re so authentic it’s hurts me
What do you mean hahahaha
Hi
Don’t play league of legends kids
It’s a bit odd that I got here actually but it was nice hearing things from the other side of that makes sense. I know for a fact that this is the positive direction I want for my ex, and he knows he blew it. It gave me this odd sense of hope that even though we didn’t work out and I was abused, he can still totally wake up one day and do what you are doing. It makes me happy. Since him, and the one after that frankly (much more short lived), I’ve actually really grown as a result too. You may not speak to that girl anymore but part of me hopes she learned like me too and is okay nowadays.
Oh interesting, I never thought about someone watching it from the other perspective, so I'm glad you left a comment. I'm glad to hear you've grown, and from what it seemed like - the less we saw each other the better we both got. We were trapped in toxic love.
Lovely video. You have good storytelling skills. 😊 What you are talking about is attachment theory, we all have an attachment style... You can find yours out by doing a quiz online. It's super helpful to learn about yourself and others and understand relationship dynamics.
So true, massively changed my perspective on breaking up, and what I wanted to look for after I'd moved on. Thanks so much! ❤️
@@SolomonDarbey So good to learn this soon after going into dating. It didn't really exist when I was younger so all the people my age and before this were all freaking out not knowing what's going on 😂 better late than never though 😊
This is probably the best video I've seen on this topic. I went through a breakup not too long ago, and so much of this resonates with me. It really makes you appreciate self-love and understand what you truly want in a relationship
Sorry to hear it bro, but glad you could relate to the vid! Hopefully you've learned something, as I refused to learn my lessons so I stayed stuck for aaages
loved the video as always. So nice watching your content improve over time ❤
Thanks bro ❤️
subbed
Thanks bro, glad you liked the vid 👊🏽
damn that hit hard 😮💨
Hahaha you gone through something similar bro?
This is the video I just needed! Thanks!
When I have kids ( in like 50 years) I'm going to make them watch your videos
I'm glad you like them!
Kids with who? U a dropout with no hoes
Gotta appreciate the consistency though, no?
I'm trying to hold myself accountable, it's harder than I thought to make videos ngl. Thanks for the comment bro!
The concept of loneliness is so bizzare to me. How can you even feel alone? I don't get it. I find peace in my solitude.
It happens when you have no choice but to be stuck in that solitude after long enough.
I’m 26 and I’m a 4 at best and I’ve been laid once by one girl who cheated on me the entire time and used me for attention. I don’t even exist to woman at all just because I’m not attractive one bit but when I’m anonymous when meeting woman they talk to me like I’m the greatest guy ever until they see me and immediately run and change their personality. Not worth trying
Mariage is better
When you cut the music when you were describing your "lowest point", I thought that was really masterful to convey your emotions. It might be a small thing, but the way you used it means that you're a pretty good story teller, and now I'm even more surprised. *HOW DO YOU NOT HAVE MORE SUBSCRIBERS??!?!?!!?!?!?!!!!!?!?!!!* Seriously though, I don't know if this is your normal theme for the channel, but you could be a great life advice youtuber with enough time and work. Keep going. This has definitely motivated me to keep going, especially because it aligns with some of my life experiences. What I found to be the most useful solution is to take it one day at a time and to not overthink things. Just enjoy life to the fullest and do the best you can with every situation. Also going to the gym and believing in God helps a lot to overcome challenges
These are great relatable stories, thank you for sharing!
I think your whole premise relies on these "divine opportunities", which, at least in my experience, simply don't happen. What would you say to guys who didn't get lucky like you?
Yep I worry about Palmer… I think Pep Fraudiola will be back for him! Pep is a Fraud! Just a cheque book manager
Im glad you didnt went to the second date ! 💪🏻💪🏻. People that dont come to the date and cancel last minute plan should burn in hell . No matter if its a woman or a man. People nowadays dont have respect for each others time and effort anymore...
Dude your content is gold. I stumbled upon your content and I am able to personally relate to your experiences. Keep posting!
Thanks bro!! 👊🏽
Ima be honest bruh you should read 3% Man by Coach Corey Wayne the first story and the second story both women disrespected you! Im reading his book currently and its helping me so much abt how to understand women
Man this made me feel bad for guys that never felt love from a woman. The way he acted after getting her number made me feel sad
You had to lift and work on yourself and all she had to do was remember to eat and 💩.
truth
I don't even care about watching this video. I only took a second to say the title is very funny.
I like your storytelling keep it up bro
how old are you btw ?
Ty bro and I'm 26
UA-cam’s actually dying - wtf is this video and that title