Відео

I experienced psychosis at the age of 12 and was highly antisocial! I pushed everyone away from me including teachers. Some of my experiences are more clear than others! I continued to be in psychosis through high school and further continued into college and again some experiences were more memorable than others, but only after college was I put on medication for schizoaffective disorder! That was when I was 20 and now I’m 49. I tried to work out in the community while on medication, but it wasn’t working out for me. Eventually I would cry before going to a job that was stressful for me! I tried to like my job, but I couldn’t do it anymore for fear of going into psychosis, which happened a few times and there were some very negative people in my environment who saw my behavior and I wanted to run away. I felt I had an obligation to work, but I really couldn’t do it anymore! The stress was triggering my psychosis and I was afraid of doing something bad while in psychosis, and people would only see that and not the better parts of me! I would feel so ashamed and embarrassed because in my right mind there were things I would never ever do if not under pressure!

Fuck have I been in asymptomatic psychosis? This really got me thinking 😳

Wow! I’m so sorry that happened to you. I was in jail during psychosis and the inmates were really good to me. They protected me and helped me out. You deserved better from a mental health facility.

Have you made a vid concerning the affective part (mood) of the illness?

Hallelujah

I’m disgusted at hearing that!!!! As if they weren’t in the same place and seeing help . Talk about projection.

I have a question because I hear things, besides voices I hear like murmuring? Also my head feels very tight and my ears get very hot feeling, not hot where you can feel on the outside but like a burning sensation? Is this something that goes along with psychotic features in your experience? ..

You’re an angel for posting so it helps other people. God bless you so you always have control over your symptoms and recognition of when you need help when control isn’t there. I love your positive attitude and acceptance of the conditions so you can live a fruitful life ❤️

Thank you so much for yoiur channel, it helps me a lot❤

I recovered from my psychosis through my faith in Christ and the bible brought deep healing to my soul

This has helped me. Thank you.

Did you take medication?

Tommy Nelson does a GREAT talk about Christisns using medications like antidepressants. I listened to it over and over again when I had acute clinical anxiety years ago because of the whole "Christians shouldn't take antidepressants because Jesus doesn't want you to change your brain with drugs," as if the brain isn't an organ that can get messed up like any other organ, and shouldn't be helped by medication, like any other organ coyls and should be. And don't say "sorry, Jesus," but say "thank you, Jesus," because He provided the medicine, and the folks involved in making and knowing how to prescribe it, etc. I am a Child of God, and very grateful He gave me the tools of medications when I've needed them!

As a christian myself, my take on it is, God gave us intelligence and created the world, so we can have doctors and medicine. God would probably equate not using medical resources available to throwing out books and praying to pass exams instead. That would be so funny :)

Thank you so much for your videos! It was a relief when I recently found your channel as someone important to me is now going through psychosis, to have some idea of what is happening and how to best support her. You sound like one busy lady, spending so much time helping people! I hope you get and take all the time you need for yourself.

Coming back to reality is boring.

Thank you so much for this very clear information. I’m caring for an adult man who is schizophrenic. I’ve been struggling with his lack interest in almost everything…my job is to enhance his life and connect him with his/our community. He shoots down almost all of my suggestions I’m running out of ideas…I’m having to negotiate with him just to get him to commit to a few minutes of an activity I believe is beneficial for him, by promising a reward he appreciates. All he really wants to do is shop and eat…he loves spending money. Another thingI’m struggling with is that he won’t share what he sees, thinks and feels with me if I ask him. He may just shout something out to me occasionally giving me insight, but I just wondered if that typical? what I take my role in his life very seriously… I want to be an asset to him in every area that I can contribute to. his schizophrenia so advanced it’s hard to know what he needs. It’s very nice to hear somebody who’s illness isn’t as advanced at his is. Thank you sharing some being so personal because it helps so many people! I hope you understand that. You are amazing and such a blessing. One of the things I still have questions about is how to predict those psychotic episodes? He was abnormally manic yesterday. He had also just received his monthly allowance and we were working on a budget and he got to go shopping, so I wasn’t sure if that was just excitement or if something was coming on. He was much more animated and expressive than usual as well as making gestures with his arms, being very expressive facially and very clearly in another place.

Preach it, sister. I had a Christian phase at one point and I also heard that 'give up meds and embrace Jesus' speech a lot. Multiple times it even made me feel so guilty, that I quit my meds cold turkey and had a psychotic relapse as a result. I feel that Jesus *does* heal and can help, but there's also no shame in needing the help of meds as well

I’m a Christian with bipolar disorder. Just like you, medication has saved my life several times. I thank Jesus for the medical advances and knowledge that He gives humans to develop medications and treatments for physical AND mental illnesses. You are so correct that this thinking that being on medication or “not being healed” because of a lack of faith is ridiculous. Even Paul mentioned a “thorn” that he asked God to remove on multiple occasions but that remained with him.

Personally, as a Christian, I 100% agree with you 😅

Never underestimate how much you impact others. Your content inspires me. It helps me to keep going with my channel too!

do they say in meetings, it's a selfish program? i heard that on the east coast. i also heard some speech that seems to contradict it. you won't be able to help those people if you are not doing well yourself.

Oh, please be selfish. You don't owe us anything and we are not entitled to you or your work in any way. Upload as much or as little as you want, those who care to understand will, and those who don't, we don't care. I'm also terrible at self-care so at some point I figured, I'm gonna be anxious either way, so if I'm laying down instead of working; at least my legs got a theoretical 3' rest before continuing. Mostly, even if I don't feel better after typical "self-care activities", I still try to do something for a few seconds/minutes, in hopes that I'll eventually grow some tolerance(?) To be fair I kind of had this realisation that I'm actually great at taking care of myself, what I need is to _nurture_ myself. And that little switch as me buying little treats for no reason with my groceries, colouring children's books, reading stories before bed, or whatever my impulsivity craves. Letting go of the guilt of doing something nice for you "just because" seems to be the key and the difficult part for me. I haven't planned a wedding of my own, but I've helped with the emotional labour of organising a few of them, and the biggest thing is to understand that everything is made up! The one thing you need is the individuals to be wed, and the marriage paperwork. Everything else is extra steps to make it cater to _your_ liking. I'll say that if you're having fun in the process, you'll be just fine. If it gets too much and you have the opportunity, try outsourcing the help, from trusted friends to professionals. But yeah, even if it doesn't feel like it, you're doing amazing. There is just so much, all at once! I like to think that some of us can't stop ourselves cognitively, so it's our physical body that resorts to desperate measures to make us stop/take notice. It is what it is I guess

This is huge! ❤ thank you so much. Your experience and knowledge are so valuable. Thank you.

Lots of love! You know how to self care, it's doing what's good for you that you love, and sometimes what you don't. Try working out, that really helps me. And try to lower your expectations. Whatever you do, schedule time for it despite the guilt, be a hero to yourself, not to others. Easier said than done, I know, sharing what's worked for me in the past. Peace

Anasognosia - an excuse to hide the truth and continue lying to someone whose experiences ARE real.

I asked my first husband why he never thought I was mentally unstable, and he also said "I thought it was cute" - I don't think people understand the horror that lies beneath masking as an attempt to appear normal.

I'm having a really hard time because something traumatic happened to me as an adolescent which sent my mind into a state of delusional self beliefs. This lead me on a very complex and complicated path in life. Very dangerous, and extremely weird. Almost every morning I'd wake up and I'd need about an hour to ruminate over the previous day, sifting and sorting my memory. I'd often get reminded, via a friend or a text, things that I said or did. I felt embarrassed, ashamed, perplexed, and I'd apologize over and over. This was on repeat for YEARS. Schizophrenia is something I don't wish on anyone, ever. It's confusing, debilitating, embarrassing and I have a very hard time - now that I'm aware - deciphering who I really am.

Sending lots of love. You are not bitching nor rambling. And you made a pretty long, coherent video! I bet you got a cold from all the stress, and that just adds to it. All I can think of, advice wise, is of course to give yourself grace and to see if you can push your wedding date a little later? If not later, then find someone to help, even if it’s just bouncing ideas off someone. Planning a wedding is stressful enough when you’re not depressed!

You are such an inspiration. I'm finding your videos so educational and filled with empathy. I have biploar type 1 and also planned my own wedding. It's very stressful. If I would do it again, I would've done it smaller and paid attention to the details. I focused too much on what other people wanted from my wedding. Same here with youtube, post when you can or feel like it... what works for you. Ultimately we're here and just get a taste of your experience like a wedding guest does compared to the couples experience. What you need is most important. ❤ Best wishes!

You do enough meeting people where they're at. I will gladly take the gift of the opportunity to meet you where you're at for once. This kind of funk happens to the best of us! You're the opposite of selfish! And I'm worried about you but know you're a whole person who is incredibly resourceful, experienced and practiced at taking care of yourself. Part of the complications of a parasocial relationship I guess. I'm glad you feel safe enough to vent and unload here. It's a nice spin, and makes me feel less alone because I definitely feel like I complain way more than you, and don't even have half as much on my plate! Gentle hugs. You have nothing to apologize for unless it makes you feel better. Apologize away, vent away, you do you! Thank you for showing your humanity, I'm glad I get to be here for it!

I actually had generally very positive reactions in psychosis from people. I opened up, was in flow state and was social. This gave great energy and made a lot of people click with me and respond mostly very positively

It’s happened to me twice. People treat you like it’s your fault or you are choosing to be that way. They don’t get it and yes being treated like an animal is also very accurate.

Psychosis runs in my family pretty far. Alcoholism ali runs in my family and my uncle was put in an institution when he was younger for his IQ being extremely high. The ward said that it was to high and they didn't really know what to do with him. He also had psychosis. I noticed alcohol intensifies symptoms and making them more noticeable to everyone except there selves and they feel alcohol makes them like everyone else or "NORMAL". So with all that being said and me myself also being diagnosed with psychosis, is it IMPOSSIBLE for someone to KNOW that they are not well, like pay attention to the there thoughs and actions and emotions and feelings and to the way they think and how truly different they are from everyone else. I hope to hear back from you, i do have some other things i want to ask you about or talk to you about if that's ok. I don't have many people maybe just my little brother whose 24 and has same problem as me but he embraces his weirdness, im not sure hobto do that. Mysl doctors don't care much, i just need someone whose willing to listen and actually try to understand me and help me understand myself. I'm far from dumb, i inow im very smart and i just need someone who's knowledgeable in this stuff and except that sometimes the impossible is actually possible. Everyone is different and sicknesses and mental health issues such as any other illness, injury, disease, etc. is got different affects to another person. So hope to hear back. Thank you kindly for reading this. Have a swell day. Happy Halloween 🎃🕯️🕸️🏚️👻☠️🖤🥸

The first step is to stay as far away as possible from psychiatry and medications, it will make it 10 times worse and prolong it for a lifetime. Seek the ultimate healer Jesus Christ.

dudee this is like to a tee with my mamma, my grandfather had bipolar 2 and i thought my mom mighve been autistic but had these crazy bizzare beliefs that shaped me as a person growing up (which i believe triggered my own schizophrenia in a way) and she was always superstitious in a really concerning way but the family never really batted an eye because it seems like she believes it but its not in the realm of delusion per say because it doesnt consume her life and even though she has a hard time shaking it immediately she eventually moves on but its weird

I've never been diagnosed. I'm 51 years old. My mother is schizophrenic, also undiagnosed because she's unaware (anosognosia). I have always known that she was ill, and recently I have viewed her symptoms through eyes that can now see. I realize that I'm not the person to help her, as she's "anti therapy" and she's always been adamant that there's "nothing wrong with her". Let's just say that being the child of someone who doesn't believe they're ill hasn't been easy. My whole life has been traumatic. (and I will admit that because of my own lack of awareness, I have caused my own children and partners pain and suffering). Around 4 years ago I was at the darkest place in my life. I had been suffering from intrusive thoughts all my life, but it became so unbearable that I couldn't handle it. I was ready to end my life. My body and mind was in utter turmoil. I felt as if I was living life in the wrong body. I was highly dissociated. But... I heard something on UA-cam, a sentence that made its way into my conscious mind. "God hears all your thoughts. He judges you for all of your thoughts, words and deeds." This scared me. I felt so much fear. I said out loud, "Lord if you are hearing my thoughts then I need to repent, because my mind is sick." I went onto my knees in prayer and in total submission. What happened to me that night was a miracle. I felt a love like no other descend upon me. I felt held, and nurtured. I cried, and I saw an image in my mind of Jesus on the cross. I realized that Jesus is the way, the truth and the life. "Jesus, please forgive me. I'm so sorry for all my sins." I just simply surrendered and allowed Him into my brokenness. I felt a weight lift off me. I felt my mind calm down. I felt truly forgiven. It was beautiful. I was born again that night. The lord showed me, in visions, like a movie, all my past traumatic events that were causing my mental issues. I got up, I looked down at my own body and I said "I'm not 12 years old anymore" - as if some darkness had been lifted off of me. I had been living on auto-pilot. All I can say is that we cannot ignore the importance of repentance, the importance of faith, and our need for Jesus. I had to share this with someone, because if there's perhaps some way to get those who refuse to admit they are schizophrenic to somehow learn about the gospel, the true need for repentance and deliverance, then there's a chance that the lord will help them, too. I pray that my story is heard, and I pray that it helps someone. I didn't know that I was sick. I didn't know anything about schizophrenia. In learning more about others stories, it's obvious to me that this is what I have been suffering my whole life. Since being saved, I haven't experienced the intrusive thoughts or delusions. I am awake and aware. I'm learning how to live a christ-centered life. I'm no longer running my unconscious patterns of mental anguish, I'm no longer using alcohol or other addictions in order to calm my mind. I'm no longer believing the strange things I used to believe. I'm no longer thinking that my body was created to please others. I'm no longer using sex as a means to express and receive love. I no longer have OCD sexual fantasies. I no longer say inappropriate things to people. I no longer suffer with paraphilia. I no longer need to take my clothes off for attention. I no longer believe that I am here to save the world (although this one is tough). I no longer feel like I'm being controlled by aliens. I'm no longer subconsciously trapped in the mindset of my 12 year old self! I'm not on any medication, nor have I ever been. I was silently suffering for years, not ever knowing that I was sick. Anosognosia is an inability to recognize symptoms as warning signs of schizophrenia. I learned to live with it. I adapted my life and I normalized my behaviour. When I acted in ways that displeased me, I had a talk with myself, and I "became" someone else. I shifted my identity at my own will, according to what my environment called. I did this because "being myself" was disgusting and displeasing. My mother had psychologically abused me into believing I deserved to be punished, hated... And I ended up self harming my whole life. All of this was done in a state of unconsciousness. At my core I believed I was an object. An it. I had no innate goodness, no value or worth. I became a pretzel, trying to please people. Yet I knew that deep down I was faulty and wrong. I couldn't trust myself, and so I relied on my partner to take care of me, and to protect me. I had been deliberately harming myself, and I couldn't break free from this perpetual loop. I have had a very chaotic and complicated life. I have made really bad decisions. I have never lived alone, for fear of abandonment. After years of being married (to a narcissist), I'm now seperated, living back at home with my parents, and I have come face to face with my fear of rejection. The main goals in a schizophrenic person's life is safety, stability and support. We thrive when we feel safe, and when we are no longer living a life of self inflicted stress, which we often seek out because we normalize chaos and often we tolerate and accept abuse as love. Obviously many of us suffer with co-morbidities, such as autism, addiction, anger, co-dependency, narcissism, arrested development, paraphilia, etc, I also believe that God can intervene. God knows us better than we know ourselves. He can be the salvation that we need, He can free us of our anguish. The lord has been bringing my attention to the benefits of a healthy diet and gut health. He's been leading me to live a simple life. He's been leading me to stay in the word, to read the Bible, to understand the new testament, and to stay firm in my faith. He's been showing me that the Holy Spirit lives in me, sent to help me discern what's false versus truth. As you know, being schizophrenic doesn't make this path easy. I watch only Christian movies, and I listen only to gospel music because anything else leads my mind away from God. Spiritual warfare is real, often we allowed the enemy into our life through traumatic events. With Jesus centred in our life and in our heart, with the help of the Holy Spirit to guide us, we can live a life of freedom in Christ. There are certain prayers that I have been led to, for example, this morning I was led to a "break the curse of the vagabond spirit" - If this is something that resonates with you or a loved one, perhaps pray this prayer or have them pray it: ua-cam.com/video/1f_di6dYKV0/v-deo.htmlsi=LxAZ2b0gTSi_rfbu I know it's unorthodox and perhaps strange for some, but these prayers work. Praise the Lord, and thank you Jesus for your perfect life in order for us to achieve salvation when we are all so sinful. The lord knows how much we all need healing. This is a very simplified version of what I experienced. I feel 1000 years old already. Life has been so hard. May god save and bless someone else out there. Trauma repeats itself until it's confronted, and Jesus is really the truth, the way and the life. He knows what you need. I was uncomfortable with the whole "spiritual" aspect, but if you read the new testament, you will see how biblically accurate it is. Don't mistake the true gospel with new age spirituality. You will go down a very dark path. Trust me. There's a lot of false preachers out there. I would recommend Mike winger and Melissa dougherty. Be sure to stay in the word. May He turn your story around.

I have been following you for about 6months. I have learned so much about psychosis from you. I have an adult son who got it from doing hard drugs. Smoking THC is the big one that causes the hallucinations. He is now medicated and with a psychiatrist. But, his weight gain and sleepiness is causing him to become stagnant. Do you have any advice on meds that aren’t as harsh? Also, Thank you for sharing your story! 🙏🏻😊

Great share

❤ may your channel grow like wildfire. Thank you for providing a safe shared space for everyone. Up with awareness down with stigmas

For me it was like psychosis was jumping out of the airplane. Going on meds was like my parachute deployed. Then, as I began to get better, I was slowly floating down to earth until my feet touched down into full reality. That is the way I describe it to people who seemed to expect me to go on meds and recover immediately. It just takes longer and is indeed gradual.

Bravo for making this video & humanizing this experience for others less experienced.

chat she made this short specifically for us….

Pretty sure my ex had this lol

Thank you so much for this explanation! It sounds very much like my mom. She had been abusive to me since I was a baby. I suspect she has other disorders as well, or I guess at least a really bad attitude, because she would defend her distorted views immensely. She has no friends, cut off contact with her family, and now is completely alone because of how aggressive and fraudulent she is. She thinks she is the best, the all-powerful, potentially a second coming of Jesus; she also thinks for instance that radioactivity is a myth, cancer is a myth, and lots of other conspiracy-level theories that goes way beyond QAnon. And if you say you don't believe her, she will just get aggressive. At best, she will wave you off as an "enemy secret agent". At worst, she will try to attack you in some way. I only recently managed to escape her. I feel sorry that she obviously has mental trouble, but I also knew that there was no way for me to support her because she rejects all support and only manipulated and threatened me all the time.

Thank you for explaining this .

" I don't like being responsible for all of humanity...it's a lot !" That was adorable. : )

I' ve become close to someone who suffers from severe schizophrenic symptoms. One thing I'd like to note, and maybe you've covered in a vid, is how difficult it becomes to continue to care about the sufferer when they are so very self consumed with all they see/hear that it comes off as complete selfishness and total lack of interest and even abuse of the people who care about them. This surely is a double whammy to the sufferer who need sometimes constant care and attention. A psychiatrist once said to me "Stay far away from a schizophrenic".

Common delusions appear to have a strong element of self importance. Always the fantastic directed back to one's self. My first depressive episode made me feel like the whole world's problems were on 'my' shoulders. You say something similar. Thanks for all your sharing, I think it's very interesting and helps me to understand those who suffer with psychosis.

I find you to be a real inspiration even though I I just have PTSD and ocd! That being said! I like your channel and it helps me own my actions❤❤❤❤❤ keep up the good work