The Imperfects
The Imperfects
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Dr Billy Garvey - From Boyz II Men
A developmental and behavioural paediatrician with over twenty years experience, Billy is an expert at up-skilling kids with the fundamental skills of empathy, kindness, compassion and self-esteem.
Due to the extremely high demand for his expertise (the clinic waiting list is most likely seven years long at this point), Billy decided to co-produce his own podcast ‘Pop-Culture Parenting’, and has also just released a book *Ten Things I Wish You Knew About Your Child’s Mental Health*.
In this Academy, Billy gets into the nitty gritty about masculinity, role modelling and teaching emotional regulation to kids, especially young boys (we even talk about porn). Extremely generous in sharing his own story, Billy reveals the purpose behind his clinic, and how he finds immense privilege in being here to do the work that he does (you’re going to need tissues).
Thank you Billy, it is always pleasure.
0:00 - Boys Don’t Cry (Why?)
9:39 - How Men Raise Boys
15:46 - The intoxication of a fight
20:06 - Do you ACTIVELY work on kindness and compassion?
28:55 - The importance of inclusion, the importance of role models
34:11 - Why do we seek power?
40:43 - Teaching emotional regulation: don’t walk away
45:33 - What’s porn got to do with it?
53:01 - We need to connect
59:32 - You’re gonna need tissues for this one
📖Things to read:
- Ten Things I Wish You Knew About Your Child’s Mental Health by Dr Billy Garvey - bit.ly/4eqyTb6
🎧Things to listen to:
- The Academy of Imperfection - Dr Billy Garvey, Paediatrician - apple.co/4doCYM8
- An Imperfect Chat About Men - apple.co/4e2vQpP
- Another Imperfect Chat About Men - apple.co/3B6WkaW
- Pop-Culture Parenting - bit.ly/4e0VRpp
- Kendrick Lamar: The Art of Peer Pressure - bit.ly/3TupbMT
💻Things to check out:
- Social Learning Theory - bit.ly/3ZlYGwP and bit.ly/4dV9NkJ
This episode references domestic violence. If this feels like too much for you to listen to right now, please skip this one, and come back when you are ready.
Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/the-imperfects/id1476501557
Spotify: open.spotify.com/show/6ZmSCzsv0W2ZZAPFCbqhOd?si=3ea38e716bb344e1
Instagram: @theimperfectspodcast
The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.
Переглядів: 1 061

Відео

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КОМЕНТАРІ

  • @BenEcho
    @BenEcho День тому

    Such a great episode, thank you to Jack for sharing his experience. Can relate in a lot of ways. Much love boys!

  • @Den-rf3ey
    @Den-rf3ey День тому

    I just watched Explore Your Dream Life's video on "What Does a Kangaroo Mean in Your Dream?", and it immediately reminded me of Brooke Burton's story from the Vulnerabilities House podcast. In the video, kangaroos symbolize resilience, strength, and care, which ties perfectly to Brooke’s personal journey of overcoming adversity while supporting her siblings. Both stories really show how, like a kangaroo, we can leap over life’s obstacles while carrying those we love. It left me feeling inspired and reminded me of the power we have to face challenges. Definitely give the video a watch-it really offers a fresh perspective!

  • @matty856
    @matty856 2 дні тому

    So many thoughts and reflections come to mind as this episode draws to an end. All I can really gather at this time is to say thank you for sharing this conversation and continuing to provide such an incredible example of vulnerability for us all.

  • @alicemay84
    @alicemay84 2 дні тому

    Thank you, what a brilliant episode. I am raising a beautiful son and I worry about the complexity of the world and how I can ensure he keeps that secure self esteem. Great stuff 👏🏻

  • @kiyeto836
    @kiyeto836 2 дні тому

    Long live rana hussein

  • @KathrynLouiseGeels
    @KathrynLouiseGeels 2 дні тому

    What a hitting episode. Love that you're doing more episodes that are really necessary for - and can resonate with - men.

  • @chrisw2783
    @chrisw2783 2 дні тому

    Thank you.

  • @lovelyrainflowerfarm
    @lovelyrainflowerfarm 2 дні тому

    What an amazing person.

  • @mariaruberto5718
    @mariaruberto5718 2 дні тому

    So good - thank you for bringing "backdraft" to light and articulating it so beautifully. This concept is such a pre-condition to the exploration of compassion activation. 💚

  • @lovelyrainflowerfarm
    @lovelyrainflowerfarm 3 дні тому

    His vulnerability was amazing. Thank you 🙏

  • @mariaruberto5718
    @mariaruberto5718 3 дні тому

    What an incredible human - he needs to run for PM

  • @Sad_Bumper_Sticker
    @Sad_Bumper_Sticker 3 дні тому

    I’m autistic and I’d also assume someone asking “What are you doing tomorrow?” is asking for a bullet list of things I’ll be doing the next day😅

  • @Den-rf3ey
    @Den-rf3ey 3 дні тому

    I just watched the "What is the meaning of pyramid dreams" video on Explore your dream life UA-cam channel, and it totally clicked with Dr. Em’s vlog about self-compassion in "How Can I Be on My Own Side?"! Both talk about how important it is to be patient with yourself-whether you're climbing a pyramid toward a big goal or learning to silence your inner critic. It’s such a good reminder that we don’t need to rush things and that being kind to ourselves while we grow is so important. Definitely check both of these out if you're into personal growth!

  • @bisboptheclown
    @bisboptheclown 3 дні тому

    that was lovely

  • @samanthaking4034
    @samanthaking4034 4 дні тому

    She is an amazing human being. Wow! This is more than resilence, it shows the power of love.

  • @lovelyrainflowerfarm
    @lovelyrainflowerfarm 4 дні тому

    Hey guys 👋 unrelated suggestion: could we have Johann Hari back to talk about his book Magic Pill? I think so many people would relate to it. It’s a very important discussion. Thanks a lot! Love your podcast! (PS - I appreciate that you guys always explain who the interviewee is. I’m from the US and I don’t know most of the people you have on)

  • @CrazyMaryJo
    @CrazyMaryJo 5 днів тому

    Cardinal Pell initially drew harsh criticism but has become politically correct. ❤ Tim’s conviction.

  • @CrazyMaryJo
    @CrazyMaryJo 5 днів тому

    Tim is one of my favorite critical thinkers. ❤

  • @benaberry578
    @benaberry578 6 днів тому

    Yumi another attention seeking narcissist

  • @benaberry578
    @benaberry578 6 днів тому

    Yumi … great book for 10 year olds and sex… well done.

  • @OmegaVideoGameGod
    @OmegaVideoGameGod 6 днів тому

    He’s not wrong, if you want anything in the world you just need to get there, but when you start involving other people into something and you need them to invest into it somehow now you’re relying on luck because you can’t control everyone else unless they decide to give in somehow, this can go for making money too especially since money comes from other people regardless of occupation and advertising.

  • @lovelyrainflowerfarm
    @lovelyrainflowerfarm 6 днів тому

    I love this sleeping position

  • @lovelyrainflowerfarm
    @lovelyrainflowerfarm 6 днів тому

    Oh my God, Josh, your ability to connect with your emotions is really your superpower. Thank you for your vulnerability in this song. It was amazing. I tried not to cry but I couldn’t.

  • @lovelyrainflowerfarm
    @lovelyrainflowerfarm 6 днів тому

    I’m a brown person living in a predominantly white country. I appreciated this episode so much.

  • @BDub2024
    @BDub2024 7 днів тому

    "what are we about???" WINNING!!!! and DRINKING.

  • @FogsterBell
    @FogsterBell 7 днів тому

    That's determinism. Every thing just keeps moving and interacting with each other according to the laws of physics since the... So when did it start?

  • @sarah2301
    @sarah2301 7 днів тому

    Beefy rocked the intro! He should do all of them from now on!

  • @Krista-388
    @Krista-388 8 днів тому

    oh and letting go of shame, does present the possibility that the person will not be as invested in the outcomes. there is no chance of change being consumed with shame (for me). i didnt really know when i took that jump towards compassion, but i had to take the risk to find out. So i did the best/am doing my best to extend understanding regarding a specific "shameful" act. (its not actually shameful, but society often sees it that way, lots of stigma) and now, i have so much understanding towards myself and how i ended up here. when my cats died, i was thrown into right now which is something ive not really had and all the things in life became irrelevant and the only thing that matters is figuring out how to tend to myself and grieve. oof...hard. painful and also incredibly freeing!

  • @Krista-388
    @Krista-388 8 днів тому

    i personally cringe when someone says to me "you are not alone in suffering" or similar and i really dont think it should be given as some sort of phrase that is supposed to help? i dont know, it does nothing for me. i dont feel alone in my suffering. in fact, i know im not. I spent 10+ yrs thinking only of others, and abandoning myself. it got me into a lot of trouble being that considerate and that accommodating to others. it has basically killed me. so no i am not going to think about some stranger across the world....makes no sense to me. but i dont discount that for others. if its working for you go ahead! :)

  • @LearnEnglishEASY394
    @LearnEnglishEASY394 8 днів тому

    Great Episode

  • @lizagaekwad3917
    @lizagaekwad3917 8 днів тому

    Didnt you write that children's book with dirty content .. thats just sick!

  • @andrewturner4113
    @andrewturner4113 8 днів тому

    If everyone possessed the same level of self-awareness as Nathan, the world would be at peace. It's such a credit to him that he can face into his imperfections and work towards being a better version of himself. Every time my son's junior football team played Nathan's son's team, our two boys would play on one another and as the team coach, he always conducted himself with grace and humility. After every home game he'd be in the rooms sweeping the floors clean. That was with the demands of coaching an AFL club. He is an inspiration.

  • @andrewog5753
    @andrewog5753 8 днів тому

    Hmm yeh not a bad pod but if I'm being honest... Bucks was on for a good 4-5 minutes before I heard him say more than 5 odd words, it got exhausting waiting for him just to talk. You lost me there...

  • @lovelyrainflowerfarm
    @lovelyrainflowerfarm 8 днів тому

    I’m a woman. And I’m very overweight now. But one of the fears I have about losing weight is having the attention of men again. On the one hand, you hate yourself for not being able to attract someone if you like. But also dread the return of catcalls and men saying things. I felt like I couldn’t not be on guard in a public space. And I’m a pretty modest dresser.

  • @Dmace69
    @Dmace69 8 днів тому

    I love Bucks. Great player, coach & now media pundit. Well done!

  • @DanielHayes-f6n
    @DanielHayes-f6n 9 днів тому

    Great chat, great yarns, and great use of the words empathy, empathic 😊and empathetic

  • @laurencooper4883
    @laurencooper4883 9 днів тому

    Wow, thank you for cultivating the space for this interview. It was beyond transformative, healing & one of great depth. Absolutely outstanding!

  • @lovelyrainflowerfarm
    @lovelyrainflowerfarm 9 днів тому

    Jonathon Grayson is AMAZING. In my opinion he’s the only mental health professional that understands OCD. (😉)

  • @meaningfuel
    @meaningfuel 9 днів тому

    I've always loved Gary since 1995 when I first heard Take That. But after I read his biography about 15 years ago, I realised how much of a decent bloke he is, and the songs are the cherry on top of the cake. Who he is, is the gift.

  • @Swenser
    @Swenser 9 днів тому

    I have reached out for help because Australian Border Force have stolen away my legal prescription medicine. Several ministers and agencies have not bothered replying to me at all. Sometimes you get no help and just have to stay strong to figure it out yourself. The way in which Australian government operates has been nothing short of evil mafia like.

  • @lavinabowman8489
    @lavinabowman8489 9 днів тому

    We all only have so much energy but if we use it properly it does spread in a huge way. The butterfly

  • @cbrooks0905
    @cbrooks0905 10 днів тому

    Fuck, the lighting gesture made ME choke up a little bit. Clearly this means more to us than even WE know.

  • @AbeHatch
    @AbeHatch 10 днів тому

    I love Tim and even his sentiment about gratitude and privilege and luck but he has severely underestimated the power of our autonomy to choose what we do, how we respond to things and even how we can adjust our life course with even the slightest change of heart. I know he was probably just making a point. Life is full of opportunities to change something, overcome something or try again at something. This kind of misunderstood (maybe false) humility is quite dangerous to some who would love to not have to make the hard choices they need to. We have personal agency and Tim’s life is a product of many things beyond him and within him. Also his parents and so who made the choices they did, had ramifications for him. COMPLEXITY is harder to sit with than a reduction that everything is luck.

    • @PianoDiary85
      @PianoDiary85 10 днів тому

      Tim is a determinist. What he's saying is that he's a product of nature (his genetics) and nurture (his environment). He didn't make his own brain, and didn't choose the environment that he grew up in. He's not saying that he can't make choices that help him, what he means is that to make a particular choice first requires that drive within him (ie that part of his genetics or that environmental influence) that makes him want to make that choice. I think it's a good way to stay humble and to also be empathetic towards other people who might not have had the same opportunities.

    • @AbeHatch
      @AbeHatch 10 днів тому

      @@PianoDiary85 thank you for your thoughtful response. I see the hard determinism in his mindset/belief system. I don’t disagree with you. I offer my thoughts so that people see the importance of embracing complexity. Another pathway to humility is gratitude that we have been given what we have, to endeavour to use the privilege/gifts/talents for beauty, which is what Tim has done. He basically states that a murderer has no choice in their life… and the response was “I love that”. This demonstrates the importance of thinking deeply and critically about statements that seem like they make sense but have dangerous ramifications.

    • @PianoDiary85
      @PianoDiary85 8 днів тому

      @@AbeHatch Thanks. I don't think he's really saying that they've had no choice in their life though, just that their choices are influenced (ie it's more likely they're going to make particular choices over others because of their influences). There are positives to thinking this way because acknowledging what influences people provides answers on how to help them, or how to help others avoid getting themselves into those situations as well (changing environment, working on mental health etc). Many people who are abusers have been abused themselves.

    • @AbeHatch
      @AbeHatch 8 днів тому

      I agree, choices are influenced. A lot more than luck here. We are in agreement I think? The word “choice” implies that there is such thing as personal agency.

    • @PianoDiary85
      @PianoDiary85 8 днів тому

      @@AbeHatch Choice, but in the same way I could choose pizza over spaghetti, but probably won't because I'm not wired to like pizza (disclaimer: I do actually like pizza, but you get the idea 😊).

  • @thewayneflyinghigh9128
    @thewayneflyinghigh9128 10 днів тому

    Will the imperfects ever care about male d.v victims?. Or do thr imperfects get there kicks on route 66 when a male is a d.v victim?.

  • @BrianPeiris
    @BrianPeiris 10 днів тому

    Underrated podcast. Commenting for the algorithm.

  • @James-kd7dc
    @James-kd7dc 11 днів тому

    Shes a crack head

  • @jackwhitbread4583
    @jackwhitbread4583 11 днів тому

    I have a huge amount of empathy for someone who has an ungodly amount of fame, fame ruins peoples lives and people need to acknowledge the harms caused by excessive fame.

  • @kathybramley5609
    @kathybramley5609 11 днів тому

    The lighting made me cry.

  • @sopastar
    @sopastar 11 днів тому

    1:11:00 That caught me off guard!

  • @Sebcrab-ml1cu
    @Sebcrab-ml1cu 12 днів тому

    Alec Baldwin 😂