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You are SO welcome, and thank you for saying that! I want to add a thing that I've learned since making the first videos in that playlist. Today, I would change those words to something like, "that was one incident and only a part of the story about who I am, that is not my whole self." I would change it because when I said (and people say) that it was a mistake, there is some victim-blaming in that idea. "Mistake" implies you had all the information about what was happening but you didn't, these kind of criminals are using deceit and manipulation as their weapons to steal from you. It happened but was not your mistake. :-) I've gradually learned more and more about words that imply it was your fault in a very subtle way and try not to use them anymore. The feeling and sentiment I was communicating got through though! and I am so glad to hear that it helped you. With this long reply I wanted to expand on that and add a bit more support. All my best to you, Cathy

I am so sorry to hear that this happened to you! The way you feel after this kind of crime is awful, intense, and overwhelming. I hope you can return here to watch any of the videos that are helpful. It may also help to do some extra self-care, I created the pdf at this link to help spark some ideas that could work for you: scamsurvivaltoolkit.bbbmarketplacetrust.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/US-selfcare-after-scam.pdf . Do you think that counseling would help? If you need help finding someone, please email me at cathy@scamsurvivorhealing.com and I will do my best. I hope you have kept watching videos on my channel here and start to see that it isn't you being stupid, scammers are horrible criminals that use manipulation as their weapons. All my best to you!

I'm so sad to hear that this happened to you. Most of the time people feel stupid and in reality scammers are highly skilled in the tactics (weapons) they use to steal from people and they have a lot of resources such as money, multiple people to get involved if needed to impersonate others or to teach each other, etc. I hope you were able to watch more of the videos here in the playlist you started as well as others on this channel. The more you hear about their tactics, the more you realize that ANYone can be scammed. I wish you all the best, and please take good care of yourself!

Bless your heart *BanninkSolutions* . Its so sad how the scammers prey on the elderly and the uninformed public. Bless you and all others who fight against these crimes.Its horrible how mainstream media is not doing the right thing by shining light on these things to help the publiccc!!!

Hilarious, *BanninkSolutions* I love the work you do mate. Those low life scammers take money from old ladies, they have no soul or heart and deserve everything u give them. Your doing a service to humanity. Love the videos, keep doing the good work mate..

I'm glad you found my videos and sad to hear that this happened to you. It's an awful experience for sure. Scams come in many forms, and these criminals use manipulation as their weapons. It can happen to anyone if the circumstances are set up for it. I hope you've been able to watch more of the videos on my channel and that they are helpful to you!

I am so sad to hear that this happened to you. Please, please challenge that thought that you are a "fool." Scammers are criminals who use manipulation as their weapon to steal from people. I hope you have been able to watch more of the videos, including one I recently added here about the reasons you are seeing yourself this way. It is the one about why people see themselves as stupid and can help you challenge the thought in yourself. All my best to you, Cathy

You are very welcome!

I am so sad to hear that this has and is happening for you. It sounds like you have a lot of emotions and reactions going through you. This is such a difficult thing to deal with. What you’ve said here does sound like the person is not being truthful with you and is trying to come up with additional reasons or excuses because of what you’ve noticed, have I got that right? I’m wondering if you’ve tried one of the fraud hotlines to talk with someone about it…and I’m referring to a couple of them in the US (I’m not sure where you are). The number I have for AARP’s Fraud Watch Network Hotline, for getting help or reporting is 877-908-3360. You should be able to get someone on the phone to talk through the details to get a second opinion about what you think is going on. I am hoping for all the very best for you. Did you also find my playlist called “How to Get Over Being Scammed” ? I have information in those videos about how to deal with the difficult emotions. Take care, Cathy

It’s awful trying to get through it after this kind of fraud happens to you. I’m glad you reported it, even though that is hard to do. I hope you find good ways to care for yourself, and heal from this. All my best to you, Cathy

I am so sad to hear this has happened to you. Please take care of yourself, and I hope this and other videos here are helpful to you!

You are very welcome and I hope this one and many of the others are helpful to you, too. This is a very difficult thing to happen to you, and I hope you find some ways to care for yourself while you are healing. All my best to you!

@createlifepaths Thankyou I lost My house money was left homeless but git money back from bank so I Thsmk God. But I was foolish because He came back saying He hated himself He wanted money payment yo a house his story to inherit is late father's will which was suppose to be alot but money didn't. Make enough for house as He hadn't paid his said half becsuse was in love because We bern tslking so long He talked another 2 years and then asked on more Money I knew his photos where stolen but He had answer for that it wad his personal business account knew was all lies but was so bonded by how He was at the beginning I told him no more money if He really loved Me He wouldn't put Ne threw trauma agsin at times before He be distant and I started to do same last few mths just decorated the health issues I have and knew I at to.let go I told him this and of course I got all tve gaslighting on Me and Ge deleted Me on Ig says He's deleted Skype but his name still there she's never had My new phone no I'm glad it was him that deleted it shows Me the real him I'm grateful for Youre videos as someone said get Therspy but nhs waiting list to long and private therapy very expensive I'm going on a solo Holiday for 3 weeks to relax

There are a lot of emotions that happen, aren’t there!? And they are often so intense for a person too. Take care and I hope this and the other videos on my channel are helpful to you!

The emotional cost to a person when this happens is huge. I hope that you’ve been able to watch several of the videos here and that they are helpful to you. That betrayal you are feeling can be so devastating. I hope you find ways to care for yourself while you are healing. All my best to you!

It is extremely difficult to get support and you have some examples here that really make me mad. So awful! A lot of this has to do with victim-blaming…there are a couple of videos here on my channel that are in line with what you are saying. One of them is called Unmeasurable Costs of Scams and the other is Why You Are Asking Yourself “How Could I Be So Stupid?” Both touch on victim-blaming and how organizations like banks and law enforcement need to be more accountable in addressing fraud victims’ needs. Thanks for commenting, all my best to you!

I'm so sad to hear that this happened to you! I hope you continued to watch the videos here, and that the feeling of being stupid is fading for you. That isn't the truth at all. Scammers are unfortunately very good at what they do. The more you realize how extensively they use manipulation as a weapon, the more you realize it is not your fault this happened. I hope you find ways to take good care of yourself, and heal quickly. All my best to you!

I am so sorry to hear that this happened to you, it truly is an awful thing to happen. The emotions that come up are a lot to deal with, and so often there are a lot of them, too! I hope these videos are helpful to you and that you have a chance to listen to several on my channel. There are more that aren’t in the playlist. Take care! Cathy

Same 100 dollars too but it’s not the money is the feeling of shame.

It’s awful and I agree with @zioperasium7875 that the feeling of shame can easily overshadow the money part of this. At the same time $100 is a lot when you are 15! Thank you both for adding comments here, it helps people to see that there are many ways that scams affect people and hopefully it helps you too to feel like you aren’t so alone. All my best to you! Cathy

I am so sorry this happened to you! I hope you were able to watch more of the videos here and that they have been helpful. It’s hard to really convey how disgusting scammers are and how many tactics they use and how adaptive they are. Ick. I hope you are finding ways to recover and feel better. All my best to you! Cathy

@juliasimpson774, I’m not sure what you mean by you would “buy it?” Do you mean my book? I would love it if you would reach out to me by email please at cathy@scamsurvivorhealing.com. Thank you!

We do all have moments when we are more vulnerable to a scam than others, and the possibilities are endless. I’m so glad to hear that you had someone offer this to you out of compassion and perception. All my best to you!

I am so sad to hear that this happened to you, that is a huge loss for you. Those kind of scams also leave a person with an additional area of trauma with the explicit threats to harm you. I hope you are finding ways to care for yourselves and each other. I also hope you’ve been able to view a couple of the videos where I talk about the various tactics scammers use. There are SO many!

@@createlifepaths I will explore all your videos. Every morning I wake up to the challenge of mental health. I rely heavily on faith (God tested all His messengers) but I am grappling with every emotion you have mentioned. I am sure my husband does as well. We both responded with trust and panic to the scammers’ manipulations. What a balm to find you! Thank you.

@@juliasimpson774 You are very welcome!

I ran into a recent scam work from home qortechno online company, so it was almost as legit as the real company. The scam lasted 6 months and I lost almost $150k, I'm in so much pain and mad at myself for believing them that they would return all my money, all crypto and wire transfers, I'm so embarrassed and can't function right. I cashed out all my stocks and even took a 401k loan to pay them. It's very easy to fall for this kind of stuff. I thank God for having my normal job or I'd just lose my mind. Thank you for your inspiring videos.

@@ritabrown1208 thank you, too, I appreciate your comment. I hope they continue to be helpful to you as you heal from this. It is such an awful experience! Take care, Cathy

I am sad to hear that a scam has had so much of a terrible impact on you. I hope you were able to watch more of the videos here on my channel and that they were helpful. It sounds like you have recently realized how deep that impact has been for you. One of my other videos is about searching for a counselor for yourself and along with that, I would recommend this: After screening for someone who is in your state (or near you) and takes your insurance, check their profile or website to see if they work with trauma. This is the most important mental health issue so it’s a “must have.” If you find someone who also works with betrayal, or grief, or both, those are the next most important. Then if possible interview at least three professionals to see if they seems like a good fit for you and that they seem to understand what you are going for. If you get any sense of judgement, that’s a deal breaker. If the person expresses that they aren’t sure they have the knowledge to be helpful this is a great sign actually. If it feels appropriate you can let them know that I consult with colleagues on this and have an online training that gives my colleagues the confidence to work with a person who was scammed. I’d be happy to talk about it if that helps. All my best to you!

I am so sad to hear that this has happened to you. It is an extremely difficult and distressing thing to happen and your description of what you are feeling shows that. I hope that you were able to watch more of my videos here, there are a lot about what it is like for people when a scam happens to them. Please take care of yourself, and I hope for all the best for you!

@@createlifepaths thank you very much. Now your videos a relief for me. That was a OLX scam. I was scammed arround 132 dollars.

Scams take so many forms and this is one that doesn’t have as much attention as other forms. It is still a crime, it is stealing, and yes it is very upsetting for many reasons including a sense of betrayal, the anger you feel, losing time and money, and so much more.

I am so sad to hear that this happened to you! I hope you were able to watch more of the videos here on my channel, and that they have helped you. Please remind yourself that you are not dumb and stupid; absolutely anyone can be scammed because scammers have a ton of skills in manipulation, lying, and in human behavior. They tailor scams very specifically and even have scripts that they follow in different kinds of scams. It is systematic, there’s a structure to how they perform and engage with people to steal from them. And it is stealing, it is a crime. A couple of the videos here give examples of how they use their evil skills and I especially hope those videos help you to know that it is not at all about being dumb. All my best to you :-)

The amount of money might seem insignificant to some but there is often so much more to it. As you mention, you live in a place where that IS a lot, and for students like you, you’re often in a position that it is even harder on you when this happens. And then there is the emotional part of it, which can be so distressing. I hope that you were able to watch more of the videos here on my channel and that they were helpful to you. All my best to you!

Bob, thank you so much for mentioning DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy). It is an effective and freeing method to use when emotions get to be overwhelming. It has helped a lot of people. You can find books, videos, resources online that include worksheets, and also many counselors are trained in helping people use DBT to feel better. There are four areas in DBT that have both specific tools to use and all four areas complement each other as well; they are mindfulness, distress tolerance, interpersonal effectiveness, and emotion regulation. I’ve been trained in and use DBT often, even if I don’t specifically say it at the time. In fact, some of the self care and other healing things I mention in these videos incorporate some DBT. All my best to you!

I am so glad that you felt better after watching this video! I hope you were able to watch more of them on this channel and that they also helped. I hope you also are able to find some positive ways to care for yourself, all my best to you!

True, learn from it, don’t trust anyone again.

Trusting in other people and how scammers use this is a good example of how scammers take a person’s positive qualities and use them to cause harm. Trust builds connections and we are social beings - we survive and thrive in relationships and groups, but scammers have ways of building trust through lies and manipulation. After a crime like this happens it is difficult to find the way between keeping your ability to trust and also not offering trust when the person hasn’t earned it with us. Anyone can be scammed, and it sucks that we all have to be so on guard these days because the problem is so rampant!

@rahatahmed6188 it’s a balancing act to some extent, isn’t it? To survive and thrive in this world we still need to trust some people…but the balancing part of it is that we also have to carefully discern which people have earned it and which ones have not. It can be so difficult sometimes!

@@createlifepaths of course I didn’t mean to literally never trust anyone again. I meant that you must be skeptical of anyone who wishes to take money from you.

@@rahatahmed6188 I appreciate you clarifying that and also so you know, I was assuming you weren’t saying it literally. I have said things like that out of anger, disappointment, distress and more where I went to the absolute (using words like always, never, all, etc.) and didn’t mean it quite that harshly. It is more about the emotion in the moment than the actual words. When something is written, the emotion isn’t always clear, so I added a bit to what you said and now we’ve had several replies back and forth! This will help others to consider how they can repair their own ability to trust in others, thank you!

Thank you for commenting, sleep loss is definitely one of the top effects that happens after a scam, you end up ruminating about what happened, and the shame of it, and people often blame themselves. Please remind yourself that scammers are disgusting and ruthless criminals; this was done TO you, like another commenter recently added on one of these videos. I hope you are finding positive ways to care for yourself.

Oh no, I am so sad to hear this. The loss of money is awful and when I think about what this meant to you though, it makes me think that money can be replac but your time with your family can’t. I hope you have been able to make a plan, if you watched the rest of the videos I hope they helped, too. All my best to you!