Відео

Hi Monica, please email me at cathy@scamsurvivorhealing.com, thanks.

Please email me, thanks!

Please email me at cathy@scamsurvivorhealing.com, thank you!

Okay, if you can stick to it, he'll try something else like getting mad. Do you have a friend or someone in your family who can sit with you and help? Someone who won't judge? That way you have another person to support you, give you strength, and help with the all the other emotions happening. I know this is a hard thing to do.

@@fraudpsychology Cathy he wants me to send another Apple card so he can eat while he is there in Dubai.

@@fraudpsychology I don't at all.

I put a more detailed reply on your comment on video 11

Does it feel like he is trying to get some sympathy in you to get you to give in? Or is he by chance showing an angry outburst to try to get you to back down and go ahead and send money? These are both methods that scammers use. I also tend to think about what I would do if I were the one in Dubai - if the person I love is having a hard time with trust in this situation, would I understand and let them off the hook? Yes I would. Would I tell them I have co-workers I can ask, yes I would do that, too. For the person in your position, it often feels very cold and selfish, when in reality this is a normal reaction to a situation when you haven't ever seen this person in real life. Scammers know this and use it. Please keep letting me know how it is going for you, I appreciate that and will add my thoughts here for you as soon as I'm able to respond!

He was on a rig in Abuba?where we met.

@monicaematagulay5324 it sure sounds like this person is a romance scammer and you suspect it, but your heart and the way you care about people is making it so hard to pull away from it, do I have that correct? One of the diabolical things about romance scams is that they use your own values against you, like this one. You care and want to support people, it is important to you to help when you can...and...people trying to exploit you don't deserve those wonderful qualities in you. Do you have someone you can talk this through with? I know it is a difficult position to be in. I'm hoping for all the best for you, Cathy

@fraudpsychology thank you for responding so quickly. Since earlier today I cut my ties it's hard and very hurtful though.

You will come out of this, and I am so sorry this happened to you. Please keep watching the videos. I know it is hard to think about this and I have also seen that it is helpful to understand the extreme effort and skills that scammers put into stealing from us. Tomorrow is a new year, a new start, and you WILL overcome the pain of this happening. All my best to you, Cathy

@ Thankyou for hearing me out i felt so left out and alone, filled with stress anxiety 💔

@@sowmyaangel9787 you are very welcome, I'm hoping for peace and healing for you. Give yourself a lot of grace, and if you have someone supportive you can talk to about it please do that. Be cautious, many people judge first, but having someone who won't judge, who will hug you and tell you it will be okay is priceless.💜

@ thankyou so much for being there for me 🥺 ur words comforted me and advance happy new year

I am glad these videos have helped you and very sad that this happened, too. I hope you watch more of them and that working with a couples counselor helps as well. The more that you, your husband, and this counselor or others you work with understand about the long game that scammers are doing in romance scams, the more you and your husband can heal from what happened. Please also pass this part on to your husband - I've started putting together information to support the partners of people who were targeted by a romance scammer, and that there is more to come on that. I'm also adding guidance about this to my online training for mental health professionals. If your husband may be interested to hear more about that, he is absolutely welcome to reach out to me directly at cathy@scamsurvivorhealing.com. You are welcome to do that as well! All my best to you, Cathy

It does hurt when this happens, and I hope you've continued to watch more of the videos about how they do it, and how it isn't your fault. This was a crime, and the manipulation involves so many types it blows my mind sometimes. I hope you find healing and peace very soon, all my best, Cathy

They are really terrible, and I'm so sorry to hear this happened to your mom. There's a nonprofit group spreading the word about these cryptocurrency scams and getting law enforcement, technical people and more together to fight this type of scam specifically. It's called Operation Shamrock and you or your mom may want to listen to some of what their founder has on videos, podcasts, etc. Her name is Erin West. All my best to you and your mom!

I'm really glad the video helped!

I am so sorry, it is such a terrible thing to happen. Take care of yourself, and I hope you've continued to watch more of the videos and that they are helping. All my best to you!

I feel the same, sometimes i trust too easily, i shouldn't have texted them back

@yasmina4551 You're right. I knew I never should have responded when I found that message in my group chat on DeviantArt. In fact, that website has been getting some repeats of that same message, saying that they want to make murals off of our artwork or whatever else. If I had just minded my own business and ignored that message like I should've done in the first place, then things would have turned out differently, and I wouldn't be in this situation.

I am so sorry this happened to you. Scammers are always finding new ways to steal from people, and I think it is getting harder and harder to stay alert and protect ourselves against them. I hope you continue to feel a little better over time and heal from what has happened. All my best to you!

@fraudpsychology Thanks for the kind words! I hope you have a Happy New Year!

You are very welcome, all my best to you!

I am glad these videos have helped!

I'm so sorry this happened to you! Is there another person you have told who is supportive? If so, it may help to ask that person to be with you when you tell your parents. No matter what happens, please remember this is a crime and the scammers used psychological weapons to steal from you. People often don't understand at first, and you could always ask your parents to watch a few of these videos that talk about how powerful those weapons are. I'm hoping for all the best for you! Cathy

You are very welcome!

Scammers are really good at what they do, and I am so glad you let your parents know. I hope that you find a way to see that you have NOT ruined your own or your parents' lives. First, the scammers did this. They are criminals. Second, you really can get through this and the impact it has on your life gets less and less over time. At some point it becomes a chapter in the story of your life, even though right now it feels like the whole dang book. Take good care and I wish you all the best! Cathy

⁠​⁠@@fraudpsychology Hi Cathy, Were you trying to say that “You hope I find a way to see that I haven’t ruined my life or my parents' life”.? Rather than “I have ruined my life and my parents life"? It was just a typo right? Thanks for your words. I hope I get out of this. It will take a long time. But I will keep fighting. I don’t like how my dad says that “I wanted it to happen. Because if I didn’t want it to happen, I wouldn’t have done it”. I don’t think that is necessarily true. I didn’t want to lose my money. I certainly didn’t think I would end up where I am today when I gave the scammer money for the first time. I knew it was the wrong thing to do, and I did it anyway.

@Sam-pv7bd I am SO sorry, yes, you are right that was a typo and I did not at all mean to say it that way. I've just edited my response. Please forgive me for that! About what your dad said to you, that hurts and of course you didn't want it to happen. None of us should be saying things like that and unfortunately too many people don't understand quite how skilled scammers are. There is way too much victim-blaming in our society, and especially with this crime. It is very much a crime and often not seen that way!

I am sad to hear that this happened to you. It is a horrible crime. I hope you were able to watch more of the videos here, to help with the overwhelming emotions. If you decide that a support group or counseling would help you and you have trouble finding something, please let me know at cw@lifepathscounseling.com.

im in same situation. dont know how live will be, just depressed

Thank you for saying that, I am really glad to hear that this series was helpful!

I hope you have reached out to someone to talk to, and are less isolated since you wrote this comment. This is an awful thing to happen; I hope you've found some ways to care for yourself, and give yourself a lot of grace. All my best to you!

I am so sorry to hear that this happened to you. I hope you have been able to keep watching the videos in this playlist, and that you start feeling better about yourself soon. Scammers are criminals that steal from people. There's a lot of victim-blaming that goes on about this, and it's so destructive, especially when you blame yourself, too. I hope you find some good ways to take care of yourself. All my best to you, Cathy

Aw! Thank you for that, I hope this channel continues to grow and help more people. I appreciate every person like you who comments and talks about how helpful the videos are! All my best to you and your boyfriend, Cathy

It really isn't any different, it is just that the tools and weapons used are different. Victim-blaming just adds to how awful this kind of crime is. In one of the videos I talk about a bias/cognitive error in thinking that causes people to blame victims, and this gets amplified and repeated in public discussion, articles, and more. The bias is called the fundamental attribution error. Generally, we don't blame a person who has their house broken into, like we do a scam victim. But, people still try. In a scam, people say "how could you fall for that?" When your house is broken into, people say "did you lock your doors?" The thing is, these questions just deepen the pain and difficulty of what happened!

Thank you for your comment, and I am so glad to hear that this is helping both of you through this. It is a truly awful experience. It isn't his fault, he isn't stupid, this was a crime. I see your comments on other videos and I'll respond to those as well. All my best to you both!

This is a horrible part of being scammed, these criminals so often use a person's positive values against them. I hope you continued to watch more of the videos, and I hope very much that they have helped.

It changes things a lot when you realize that someone has stolen from you, doesn't it! I hope the videos have helped!

I'm sure there are quite a few people who have reacted that way and if you are talking about yourself, I am also grateful with you, for both not having more taken from you and for not victim-blaming yourself. All my best to you!

I am so sad to hear that this happened to you. I hope you are able to watch more of the videos here on this channel, and hope that they help you with the huge psychological impact this has. All my best to you, Cathy

12000 wow, thats awful, ive been scammed too, its the worst

Thank you @Wendy-b1o for your feedback here. I appreciate hearing what you think. Although I understand you will be very skeptical about my sincerity when I say this, I have no intention and have had no intention of taking advantage of anyone who has had this happen to them. I have produced over three hours of video on this channel so far, with more to come and I hope that you have listened to more of the content and that it has helped you, despite being offended that I also mention my book on this topic. If fraud has happened to you, I wish you all the very best in healing from it. It is a terrible thing to have happen. Take care, Cathy

Hi Kathy, I’m impressed and touched by your reply to me. I think I was baleful and I apologize. Do you know of any online support groups for love scam victims? I saved my money an hour before I was going to send it. It’s my heart that is hurting so and I don’t have any other way to meet single men, but am afraid it could happen again!

@Wendy-b1o, thank you so much for saying that, and I'm sorry to hear that you are hurting this much. There are so many layers to the betrayal and hurt that comes from these crimes! And just a mess of emotions as I'm sure you know too well. I do know of some support groups, the best by far is through Cybercrime Support Network at fightcybercrime.org, they have a wait list though, and their groups are worth pursuing even with the wait. AARP also has support groups and they have several throughout each week. Although they are an organization for people ages 49+, you do not have to be a member to attend their groups and anyone is able to attend no matter what age you are. A link to learn about their groups is here: www.aarp.org/money/scams-fraud/about-fraud-watch-network/ Some additional resources: Scammer Stories Podcast, and social media for Advocating Against Romance Scams (their website is advocatingforu.org.) All my best to you! Cathy

I am so sad for you that this happened. :-( I hope you continued with the videos and that they have helped with the emotional part of this happening. All my best to you!

I hope you were able to watch more of the videos here. It is so awful when someone steals from you and yes! it makes a person so angry, too. Take care, and I hope the videos are helpful to you.

I am so sad to hear that this happened to you, I know this is a helpless and devastating feeling. I hope you have been able to continue watching the videos in this playlist, and even some of the others on my channel. Please take good care, and I also hope you are not blaming yourself; if you are, keep telling yourself that scammers are unfortunately very skilled at stealing from people, and that they have many many tactics. In fact, I've started calling them psychological weapons to emphasize how hard it is to defend yourself against them. All my best to you, Cathy

to make you feel better i just got scammed 4plus grand today, learned it the hard way mate. I feel angry and felt shame also disappointment in myself.

@@kidkendo1733 Oh I am sorry to hear this, and I hope you have continued to watch more of the videos. This is a difficult thing to happen and to get through. Please take good care of yourself!

@Tmorans I am not a scammer. I appreciate you coming here to share your opinion, and although I hope that everyone who takes the time to listen to these videos finds them helpful, I'm disappointed for you that you didn't find them helpful yourself. I wish you all the best and hope that whatever painful event brought you here becomes less and less painful over time.

Thank you, so much!

The mental damage is so much, you are right. I get what you are saying, there are so many people in the world that want to steal from or take advantage of others, it gets so exhausting to be on your guard all the time. I am glad this video, and hopefully more on my channel have helped!

You are very welcome, I'm so glad you found the videos and that they have helped!

I am sad to hear that this happened to you, it is really awful and both being pissed and feeling like you let your family down are understandable...I hope you continued to watch the rest of the playlist though and feel less like you let your family down. These criminals are way more skilled at manipulation than is usually talked about in articles, social media, and in real life between people. Your money was stolen using psychological weapons, just like someone robbing you in a parking lot. All my best to you, Cathy

I'm so sad to hear this happened to you. Scammers will stop at nothing and it is so disgusting that they do use personal tragedies to steal. And, I just don't have strong enough words for how skilled these criminals are. The sheer number of manipulative tactics they use and how they interweave them is mind-blowing. I hope you find a way to NOT believe you are stupid, it really isn't about that, they used your values and your emotions to do this. It's unlikely that law enforcement can't or even won't help, however, please report it anyway. If appropriate, please also report it to ic3.gov, where a report goes to the FBI and other federal agencies. The more information we have about these crimes, the better law enforcement can fight it. All my best to you, Cathy