Відео

Exercise has been a God send for me. Relapse does suck, I been having a hard time saying sober. After 5 years and 11 months of be sober. I relapse it's a few years I'm only about to put months at a time sober. Also dealing with depression but exercise has helped big time

AA isn't a cult in the extreme manner of a Scientology but it still absolutely has cult-like tendencies and characteristics. The 12 Step programs really don't even have anything particularly to do with drinking (the Big Book itself says that drinking/using is but a "symptom" of a greater illness). The whole point of the program is to advance a very narrow ideal of "spiritualism" (relationship with an interceding "Higher Power"), the path to "recovery" being only through this "Higher Power" as revealed by the admission of "powerlessness", the "giving of (one's) life and will" to this "Higher Power" and the subsequent application of the 12 Steps and "spiritual principles" in all areas of life. It assumes universal acceptance of antiquated religious notions like the 7 Deadly Sins, the idea that "selfishness","pride" and "ego" are the root cause of all sins, that addicts necessarily drink/use BECAUSE of these sins and that "recovery" from addictive behavior is really only possible by the application of the 12 Steps to remove these "character defects". It's about constant self-abasement in the name of "humility" and trusting unqualified non-professionals with sensitive and intimate confidential details of one's life in the name of taking "moral inventories" that are supposed to advance "honesty". In addition, AA and other related 12 Step programs are rife with verbal and psychological abuse, predatory sexual harassment (known colloquially as "13th Stepping"), tragically bad medical and legal advice (such as not taking prescribed medications) from people who self-appoint themselves into positions of personal authority, circular groupthink and anti-intellectualism and all manner of patriarchal hubris and cynicism. Its whole outlook is "we win, you lose". It has no interest in the individual member's well-being, only its own diffusion. Basically, it's intimidating, poor, outdated and inappropriate religious dogmatism.

Thank you for sharing. Great stuff.

Oh and had to get a sponsor because keeping my job depended on it 😮

I used to work front desk at an Alano Club and sponsors constantly divulged things about their sponsees which I found creepy and inappropriate

I went to my first meeting today, and it was everything i suspected which kept me from going in the past. Old men with condescension, young men with concomittant need for parole notes, grime, bad coffee, cult like discussions about Christianity and MAGA. I am an accomplished self empowered woman and professional. I wouldn't let my daughter anywhere near this toxicity. It's an enormous red flag. We deserve better options as a sober community

Im in recovery and found a sponsor. We started doing the steps and it was okay at first. I then started noticing this dude start to literally give me orders. Called me all sorts of names too. I started feeling gaslighted and manipulated. Texted him that things weren't working out, got rid of him and blocked him. Best decision ever.

There are very dangerous people around, there is also a high correlation between antisocial personality disorder and addiction, so one can guess that there is a high chance of running into one of them or some other narcissistic personality out of the cluster Bs. The best to stay healthy or become healthy is to be with healthy people or at least have some trained specialist, who can see downwardspiraling dynamics. What for me is some kind of a red flag is the importance of the narrative. You wouldn't see that in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

So you never had a sponsor but can systemically break down all the problems with your lack of being human and honest .all i hear is excuse ,excuse ,excuse .funny how recovery is about being truthfully honest about your short comings maybe try that first then make some videos about some informed decisions. God bless and good luck in your recovery 🙏

you need to visit the dentist

Hello, I would just like to make a couple comments regarding the video. First, I agree with you as far as individuals being sponsors without experience and sponsorship, or more importantly, without having had a good reliable sponsor themselves, taking them through the program. Second, I wholeheartedly agree with you that the Sponsee shares their life experience, while out of the meeting rooms, revealing their faults and failings. I am a sponsor who has 22 years presently in the fellowship and I agree wholeheartedly with any of the points that you raise. However; at the same time prior to me, taking on my first Sponsee, I asked my sponsor if he felt I was ready to become a sponsor if my sobriety was good enough to share, and he said yes. Then, and then did I take the responsibility of being so sponsor. I disclose to my Sponsee my entire career out of the room, my drinking experiences so warm and so forth in a way, roundabout way I disclose my fourth step to my Sponsee’s, and only if they’re comfortable with me being the sponsor, do we work through steps for and step five. I wholeheartedly agree that this can be a frightening experience for a newcomer, however; at the same time, the Sponsee must have confidence in the sponsor without that confidence and trust the sponsor response relationship will not work! Furthermore, I agree with everything you say as far as they’re being no leadership to report a sponsor inappropriate behavior with a Sponsee. However; for those of us who take sponsorship seriously, and furthermore, realize the responsibility that we are being asked to take on it is vital for us to maintain confidentiality with the sponsor response relationship. For example, if I am uncertain how to handle a situation with my Sponsee I always ask the Sponsee if I can share this with my sponsor to get his opinion and recommendations as to how to handle the certain situation. You bring out many good, strong, and valid points in your video. There are individuals within fellowship, who should not be sponsors I wholeheartedly agree with that however, please don’t sync the boat for those of us who take our duties and responsibilities as a sponsor to a newcomer and sync the boat for those of us who take our responsibilities extremely seriously. Thank you so much for your video. I gained a lot of insight From your video and I’ve also learned how I could be more effective sponsor. Thanks again for the video and your input. 9:13 9:20 9:31

Don’t need a sponsor to work the steps. I tell people to read the book and follow directions.

You are talking about NA not AA you are an addict not an alcoholic.

She's just reading somethin

Boo this person

I had a 12 steps sponsor whom I had to block. So I get this video. I just remember thinking he is not certified and his sense of control really did it for me. Another red flag was calling me " brother " when I really didn't know him. My sense was he was just lonely and caught me at my vulnerable state. When I started to heal and move on was when he started spreading rumors about me because I had to distance myself after I did talk to him. Bottom line, go see a therapist. You'll be better off.

I attend aa for the conversation but I’ll be damned if I go ask some random person to lord over me and “ work the steps” it’s a very cultish mentality to act like the only way to stay sober and improve yourself is through a random person that can be a POs who thinks they’re a better person than they are while having a terrible personalitie they think magically disappeared through “working the steps” you can improve yourself on your own and not everyone is a good person end of story😂😂😂

Now lets even look at the AA theology. It makes little sense at all. If you believe in God free will is a gift to mankind. There for in no way can you return your will to God. .

I been doing AA meeting off and on for years now. At one time was sober for 5 years and 11 months. I first 3 years on my own. Then 2 in AA and CA. Looking back to that time I was becoming miserable and then relapsed. I had really tried to believe all the AA rhetoric yet I just couldn't. I went to rehab 2 years ago. It was none 12 step they used CBT. It really helped. Got back to a very dysfunctional living situation. Then relapsed again. Moved from there and again when back to AA. I would get a few months and relapse again. I kept doing more and more meeting. Now I have come to the point where I see so much dysfunctional and controlling behaviors from people with years of being sober. Believe me I know in no way am prefect. When you really start healing you start to notice the people around you. Some of that I truly love but I learned boundaries and wont up with some of BS anymore. Going to AA meeting was starting to be great for my mantel health. It was time to step away. I'm going to a lot less meeting and added more SMART meeting. My favorited thing to do how is tell people in AA am not powerless LOL.

All my sponsor does is give me suggestion and gets me through the 12 steps. He makes it very clear he’s not my therapist.

Thank you for this. I tried so hard to brainwash myself into the group think, but after some time, I started to become aware of just how negative so much of the reinforcement is within the rhetoric. Not to mention the behaviour of so many the long standing members. I came to understand that I absolutely do NOT want what those long-standing members have. That I am not powerless over alcohol. The rooms i was in were so sick that I ended up feeling crazier than I did when I first started going in. Naltrexone has been the only thing that has made sense for me. I can't recommend it enough for people experiencing alcohol use disorder.

It's a "program" started by a mental patient, and currently run by mental patients (and criminals, predators...) ua-cam.com/video/0ecMKijUWHk/v-deo.html Reply

Thanks for the video. Having spent close to a decade in 12 step recovery, not just AA. However other fellowships too, CA and NA mostly. In which time I’ve worked through the steps, numerous times with a number of different sponsors, over the years. I have relapsed a number of times along the way. However I’ve also gained significant sobriety time. I’ve sponsored others through the steps. I’ve worked in an addiction rehab centre, for a year, which had a 12 step ethos. Promoting and helping clients, who were mostly new to recovery, to understand the 12 steps and the 12 step program. I’ve also spent 4 months in a fundamental Christian rehab centre. As the early AA pioneers were Christian, AA was founded in the Bible Belt of America and the big book was also written by those same people. I’m not a Christian. However it’s where my journey took me. AA was founded by fundamental Christians in the 1930s. Spending time in the Christian rehab helped me gain a better insight into the thinking and understanding of the thinking that went into the foundings of AA, 12 step recovery and the big book. It’s extremely flawed and outdated logic. One only need to glimpse at the wording of the 12 steps or have a read of the big book. It’s essentially a Christian program with the idea that God, the creator, will relieve people of their addiction if they work the program. I know people will claim “a God of their understanding” or a “higher power”. However this is a contradiction to the language used in the big book. Even the language used in the steps is contradictory if you don’t have God the creator as your higher power. Also the big book was written coming on 100 years ago. At the time they didn’t understand alcoholism or addiction. The reason people recover is through “subconscious reprogramming”. The 12 steps are a way to deal with our thoughts, emotions and behaviour patterns which led us to drink. It’s absolutely nothing to do with God or a higher power. The AA program, as religion tends to do, put God in a position where, if they do exist, doesn’t belong. A person only need understand how the subconscious works to understand addiction and recovery. It’s also not some spiritual disease that only the 12 steps can relieve us of. Alcoholism is learned behaviour, we are powerless over our subconscious therefore become powerless over our alcoholism over time. It’s also more often than not some kind of trauma response. For more on this Gabor Mate, who has spent years working in the field of addiction. Has plenty of work out there. There are many issues with the 12 step program, it’s always had a very low success rate, the big book claims a 50-75 per cent success rate. However they had no way of knowing as this was before the big book was written and it was s word of mouth program. I think the biggest issue with AA is how outdated it all is. In regards to sponsorship. The main issue is, as you spoke about, you don’t need a degree or any kind of qualification to be a sponsor. All addicts and alcoholics are damaged in some way. Therefore by having another alcoholic or addict sponsoring you. You’re essentially being taken through, what is an addiction therapy program, by a damaged individual with no basis for being any kind of therapist or counsellor. They have their own hangups, life experiences and ego which will effect the whole process. In meetings people will share that “an alcoholic can’t trust their own thinking”, so why would you ask someone that can’t trust their own thinking to help guide your life? Also people in meetings and sponsors will put their own spin on parts of the program. For example I’ve had a few sponsors in the past. Some good some not so good experiences. Most of them attempted to impress onto me things which weren’t in the big book or part of the program. Such as being single for 2 years, before considering a relationship. Which meant finishing things with my partner, which was an established relationship at the time. Or I was to give up the gym as it was getting in the way of my recovery. One thing, which relates more to the other fellowships than AA is how people can claim to be clean of all mind altering substances. However still be chain smoking thenselves to death. Nicotine being both a mind altering substance and an addiction. Also in the big book it mentions nothing in regards to sponsorship. However meetings are also never mentioned.

AA is 1#🎉☝️🙏🤗💯🏆🥇👊☺️

This lady is absolutely wrong!😮☝️#!; shes just making excuses because she couldn't understand the program and not do the program as suggested!😮. This lady saw and heard what she wanted to see and hear 🙉. And when you're in a negative fear- based thought system! This is the kind of play back you get!! But she is so wrong 👎! About everything she just said!! Not 🚫 true#;! ☝️☺️🙏

AA/ you have no idea how AA works! Because you never worked the steps with a sponsor!! So you're not 🚫 talking from your actual experience s! Only from gossip from what other's said! And from your own mis-guided perception s!😮! L 🙏 for you though ok. Please 🙏 get over your fears and resentment s#!!! 😮☝️👊

Remember young lady #!; ego/ edging god out #!!😮☝️

Surrender to win! Surrender to God 🙏#!; AA

Live and let live #!! 🤗🙏🥇🏆☝️👊☺️

AA is absolutely beautiful #!! ☝️🙏🤗🙏🥇🏆💯

My name is Rodger 🙏🤗!! And AA has done wonders in my life!! I love AA! The people in it! And the meeting s!! AA is the best 🥇🏆#!! 1 # 🤗☝️👊☝️🙏💯☺️🥇🏆🤗🙏☝️

Young lady your just making excuses #!!!😮☝️#!! Your full of resentment s! Anger 🤬! And your obviously self- centered! What it comes down to is that you still want to run the show! Drive the bus! Understand AA is a program of suggestions only! Nobody is making you go to meetings! Unfortunately your on your way to being a dry- drunk#!!😮☝️#!! Inflated pride and ego!! With you. The problem with you is that you still want power and control over..... people, place s and things! You live in a fear based thought System still!😮you see people fear 😮☝️ what they don't understand! And thats your problem or character defect-flaws! Your closed - minded. Not open minded or open to suggestions!! You might stay sober? But you're always be a dry- drunk!! ☝️

AA/NA have very poor long term results. What you have are sick people keeping each other sick. And if you are female you WILL be preyed upon. There are alternatives. DO YOUR RESEARCH. I am 29 years clean/sober. AA/NA had very little to do with it.

Respect to anyone who tackles their drink problem , hope you make it 🙏

Needing support makes one vulnerable. Finding the right support is the process. Ty for sharing your perspective.

What I’ve learned more than anything is discernment in 12 step programs. If you don’t have critical thinking skills, it can be very dangerous, yes, but so is life any way you slice it. Take what you need and leave the rest. No program works for everyone. Controlling people who tell you what to think are everywhere, and your experience is your own. 🙏

Cap. To the point of formal education. Many people who stick around the program do become Recovery coaches or involved in the recovery business in some degree, maybe its just the meetings i go to but i see often. However that's not a majority. On top of that, nobody ever said have your sponsor replace a therapist. Even if some shitty sponsor or person in the program did say that to you, it doesn't mean it's actually the case. I know plenty of people who go to therapy outside the program and still do plenty of work with their sponsor thats seperate. The whole point is we as addicts and alcoholics are uniquely qualified to help other people struggling with the same problem by sharing how we got through it. Being rushed to get a sponsor, I definitely am more inclined to agree with that because I was rushed to get a sponsor but you don't HAVE to get one immediately. I personally waited almost 2 weeks and went to many meetings to find who would fit me well and now I have a fantastic relationship with my sponsor. The idea of rushing is to not over think it too much and start working the program, I've definitely seen people think about it wayyyy too much and never end up picking a sponsor and never working the steps I get the crossing boundaries point. I personally haven't experienced that, but i will say that its a problem with the individual. Part of being in recovery is building a backbone to situations like that. But yeah that is really weird ngl. Here a piece of advice though STOP PUTTING YOUR SPONSORS ON PEDESTALS. They are people too and not perfect Im going to say complete cap to the point about legal repercussion. Yes there is no legal repercussion but i wouldnt say that its as obviously a problem. Ive been to many meetings in my area and heard alot of said gossip while mingling before and after the meeting, there is a lot of overlap between meetings and the only time a sponsor really broke that trust around here was a situation that happened in the late 90s, and they were dogged on for it Yes you dont get your sponsors 4th step, because THEY ALREADY DID IT. Thats the whole point, they have a sponsor and its not you. But i get the idea of being uncomfortable with the idea of doing it i suppose. The stranger telling you how to live your life is such an exaggeration. Talking to someone twice a day is such a small request, doing a little prayer is a small request. Typically not everyone is supposed to sponsor. Thats why pick one that identifies with you, i personally wouldnt pick many people in my group to sponsor me for a good reason. The majority of cases are so far from any of the behavior expressed in this video. I will also say the main point i agreed with in this video is when you mentioned how people try to convince you AA is the only way to recover. I think that mindset is a huge exaggeration and there are other ways to recover, plenty of people do without the program. It works for me but it would be ridiculous to act like its the ONLY way Good video i know its kinda old but i appreciate it for challenging some beliefs i hold, have a blessed day

I have learned the hard way, you are so right, please keep making this message, I know a lot of people who have even died because of this

You were not in AA for a year. That is not AA. You do not have any understanding even of the steps. You are filling people with lies who AA could be helping as the millions who were helped before you in actual AA. You need help still. This is resentful behavior not caring who you harm. You represent AA in now way what so ever.

Sponsorship is not part of AA. It is not in the steps or the literature. She is talking about some insane cult version of AA. we can have someone help us relate to the steps but AA is not about the meeting but the steps. I never heard such stories in 20 years seeing hundreds set free from alcoholism. These misinformation videos are killing people.

So the only thing a sponsor is to do is walk someone through the steps. Thats it. A year sobriety and going through the steps properly. Just like anything else, AA is a human and flawed like anything else. My sponsee's know everything about me. I cant expect anyone to tell me anything if Im not as open. And who am I to judge anyone? Im sorry you had a bad experience. But how has life been since?

AA works if you work it. My Sponsor saved my life and I’ve stayed sober over a decade. How can someone who has never had an official sponsor comment? The reason Sponsors work s because they share their experience strength and hope. Sponsors are not professionals, not Therapists or counselors. Since 1935 AA has freely passed on Experience, Strength and Hope through recovery work with a Sponsor. As with life there are Good and Bad Sponsors so ask several AA members who will help save your life. AA has Monthly Business Meetings to address Predatory and Inappropriate Behavior.

When I started in AA many years ago I didn’t realise how sick people in AA were, I thought I was the sickest there, it took nearly 20 years to realise that, at local meetings you have very very careful, I always find conventions a lot easier to handle it’s a completely different atmosphere.

I was not powerless , I stopped drinking on my own. Then 2 years later a friend brought me to aa , it was horrible. They tried their best to get me to say I was sick and not cured I was just a dry drunk and unhappy. But Im not lol turned my life around took a decision and stuck to it . I am no longer an addict. I am recovered, aa doesnt not offer recovery just treatment to people who have a constant need for affirmation and people telling them how wonderfull they are. Most aa members dont recover they get addicted to aa instead.

DAMN YOU ARE PRETTY ;)

I was an IV drug addict for 5.5 years. Homeless, in and out of jail and rehab and AA. I’m sober almost 5 years, I went to rehab/detox 1/10/2020, and I was there for 10 months on the dot. I got out and went to sober living where they brought meetings into the house, and they required you to have some sort of foot inside one of the fellowships. When I lived there, I started going every day. I got a sponsor and worked the steps, I did service, helped new comers, and I checked all the boxes. What I noticed was first of all, I was told by my sponsor to take suggestions from people who had a lot of time, and I had an issue taking certain suggestions from people who hit rock bottom from alcohol in their brickell (rich neighborhood in Miami) condo that their parents were paying for while they attended UM…someone like that has zero clue what it’s like to walk in my shoes. My sponsor said that’s my disease talking…also I noticed they would always emphasize not sleeping with new comers, yet the same people who spoke against it were doing it themselves. At one time I was talking to a girl and my sponsor told me I would likely relapse if i pursued a relationship…they pretty much told me everything I did was wrong. And on top of that, there was a man who turned into a woman one day, and when I refused to use his “pronouns” they demonized me…like aren’t we supposed to be facing the truth? If you’re a man, you’re a man,sorry. There were so many people contradicting themselves and I felt like everyone just was competing to be the best AA person in the world. I left AA in October 2021 after almost a year. I am still sober, though I have almost no contact from anyone in the fellowship and I’m honestly so much happier. One day I showed up to a meeting after not going for a year, and a new comer who I knew from being homeless was there and a lot of the people I knew were trying to pull him away from me and snoop on our conversation, and then when I said I stopped doing AA a year ago and my life was going really well, this guy who was just awkwardly standing next to us, as though he was part of our conversation, pulled him away and said I should leave if I’m going to spread that message. 😂. He reached out to me on Facebook and said they were all telling him not to take anything I say at face value because I’m probably “getting high”…a completely baseless allegation. So at that point I said fuck this, I left. I only talk to like 2 people who I knew from AA. Ahh idk a lot of fake people in AA. If you been through enough shit in your addiction and you’re scared enough you won’t go back to using or drinking. That’s my philosophy.

Walked into the rooms 3-9-91 and never looked back. 33 years, not one slip, and counting.

I think this is a good video...Be very careful who you pick as a sponsor and remember sponsorship is not a requirement, but a suggestion !!! I choose not to have one....

So called Sponsors by AA cult groups are nothing but a piece of sh....

I briefly tried a 12 step when quitting weed and dear god do i regret it. Ive been sober from everything except weed since Nov 22 after struggling horrifically with substances since my early teens. Then it got to a point where i felt that weed no longer served me, so i cut it out and blocked my weed guys. In the first days i needed aome support and ended up in a 12 step. Holy...shit. I've never felt so awful about myself. They tell you daily that you are powerless, sick, and that you always will be. They want you to give up a substance and become dependent on them instead. Im a psych undergrad, so half of my journey was based in curiosity, since i understand therapy quite well. I cant believe that 12 steps is even allowed. There are no formal therapeutic structure, there is 0 safeguarding, the notion of a sponsor is entirelt unethical and goes against all of the safeguarding that regular therapy strives so hard to enforce. I love that we get to connect with others who share our struggle, but the rest is extremely dangerous. 12 steps should not be a modern option for treatment of substance abuse. If you are struggling, try SMART. The concept of SMART is based in tried and tested therapeutic models, it priorities patient safety, empowerment and actual treatment of underlying issues (which is generally why all of us use anything!) and giving us coping skills to handle life as someone who chooses sobriety. I want to reiterate that. YOU CHOSE sobriety. You did this. No one else made those choices or felt your pain, you did. Because you hold the power of choice. ❤