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nicfstr
Приєднався 12 лис 2019
Didn’t want to delete the caption from when I posted regularly - I’m 26 now which is crazy!
Just a 22 year old girl talking more and more about her experiences with Mental Health. If what I have to say even helps just one person, sharing my story will all have been worth it.
I also talk about Mental Health on my Instagram ( nicfstr).
Any feedback will be much appreciated! Xx
Just a 22 year old girl talking more and more about her experiences with Mental Health. If what I have to say even helps just one person, sharing my story will all have been worth it.
I also talk about Mental Health on my Instagram ( nicfstr).
Any feedback will be much appreciated! Xx
Two years on: Life after anorexia
It’s taken me a long time to return, over two whole years to be exact but I thought I would post a little update and ramble on about the life I live now (and love living). The younger me would be so proud and surprised to see me type those brackets.
I want to say a massive thank you to those who have watched my videos whilst I’ve been away and even more so to those who have reached out and messaged me. I wouldn’t be the person I am now without the support of strangers online picking me up and making me realise it is okay to speak out about my mental illness.
As you will hear when you watch, I have been doing really well but it has been a rollercoaster getting to this point. And don’t get me wrong, I have no idea what the future holds but I finally feel well equipped to handle whatever comes.
Finally, I think I will do another video related to medication as I’m off all my medication now, which is an interesting take when I really sit and think about it. Maybe one about managing ‘adult life’ with bipolar disorder too? Very open to thoughts!
I am very active on Instagram @nicfstr if you do want to keep up to date with my life whilst I decide on another UA-cam video 💖
I hope you know I’ve seen all of your comments and I’m unbelievably grateful. Xxx
I want to say a massive thank you to those who have watched my videos whilst I’ve been away and even more so to those who have reached out and messaged me. I wouldn’t be the person I am now without the support of strangers online picking me up and making me realise it is okay to speak out about my mental illness.
As you will hear when you watch, I have been doing really well but it has been a rollercoaster getting to this point. And don’t get me wrong, I have no idea what the future holds but I finally feel well equipped to handle whatever comes.
Finally, I think I will do another video related to medication as I’m off all my medication now, which is an interesting take when I really sit and think about it. Maybe one about managing ‘adult life’ with bipolar disorder too? Very open to thoughts!
I am very active on Instagram @nicfstr if you do want to keep up to date with my life whilst I decide on another UA-cam video 💖
I hope you know I’ve seen all of your comments and I’m unbelievably grateful. Xxx
Переглядів: 4 559
Відео
A positive anorexia update
Переглядів 5 тис.3 роки тому
I actually filmed this over a week ago (30th May 2021, it is now 8th June 2021). Life kind of got in the way and I never got round to editing and uploading it. I have made EVEN MORE progress since filming this wow. I didn't think that would be possible. Go me lol. Life in all honesty right now is good. Recovery is good. I wouldn't have thought I'd be saying that a month ago as I well and truly ...
Steps in the right direction, eating disorder recovery
Переглядів 1,7 тис.3 роки тому
Long time no speak ! (2 weeks I reckon). Sorry for the radio silence. As you will see me waffle on about, I have had a WEIRD few weeks but as the title suggests, I have made some steps in the right direction. I'm actually inspired by my own ramblings... around 3 minutes in I speak some serious truths that I need to drill into my head. Eating disorders will always strip you off everything you ca...
My anorexia is terrifying me
Переглядів 18 тис.3 роки тому
I literally need somewhere to offload. Despite being surrounded by a lot of people who care about me, I don't feel like I can keep turning to them for support, as I feel like a stuck tape recorder. I feel like I am not trying hard enough to warrant the level of support I need from those closest to me. My voice keeps breaking as well due to swelling caused by my bulimia. I never knew this but wh...
The physical and mental effects of bulimia
Переглядів 24 тис.3 роки тому
In all honesty, I'm sad that this is my life again. I'm sad that I can list off all of these physical and mental ways it effects me, yet I can't stand up to the disorders voice and make steps in the right direction. Ah well ! We can only hope that with my referral being accepted, I can get help soon. As I said, if you feel able to share then please comment below about your experiences. I find b...
The physical and mental effects of anorexia
Переглядів 8 тис.3 роки тому
My first video request since starting up my youtube channel again, how exciting !! Early next week you should get the part 2 "The physical and mental effects of bulimia". This video even for me who has lived through anorexia, gave me a lot of insight. When I was struggling with it, my head was consumed with thoughts of food and for a really long time a state of quasi recovery, that I never real...
Binge eating disorder, the struggle no one talks about
Переглядів 1,4 тис.3 роки тому
Even for someone who speaks so openly about my struggles with various mental illnesses, speaking about my binging is hard. All anorexia wants Is for you to be a "good anorexic"... to admit to binging is the exact opposite of that. This video was inspired by some really kind comments and messages from people who have appreciated me touching on the topic. It is encouragement like this that helps ...
24 hours apart living with anorexia bulimia
Переглядів 7 тис.3 роки тому
Feels a bit of a weird one to upload as it wasn't planned at all. A positive update was followed by a complete shift in mental state... for me that's what it means to battle both anorexia and bulimia. I seem to be getting into a cycle of documenting a lot to do with my eating disorder. For now I am going to keep going as it is nice having somewhere to offload, whilst raising awareness of lived ...
The Anorexic Voice
Переглядів 7 тис.3 роки тому
One of those bad days... I'm mentally struggling with my referral to eating disorder services. I always knew I would but I didn't quite expect this. The wait time for my referral to go through has given so much power to anorexias voice, when if anything it hadn't had much say for over 4-5 years... Since I entered adult life, it has always been about my bulimia. The sense of having to justify yo...
Living with Bipolar Disorder Type 2
Переглядів 1,7 тис.3 роки тому
Every year that passes of living with bipolar disorder, you learn so much about how the disorder effects your life, shaping who you are. My life has seen some huge changes since I first posted a video on this topic. My insight has grown from being able to look at my life from a whole different perspective. How this disorder exists in my life has seen some significant changes. I was originally g...
Bulimia & Me
Переглядів 6 тис.3 роки тому
Bulimia is an eating disorder which is rarely spoken about in its rawest form. It is seen as a taboo subject with HUGE stigmas attached. As someone who is open about their struggles with bulimia, I aim to help change this. This video aims to educate those supporting someone with bulimia about the challenges we face. I also hope it helps those struggling with bulimia feel less alone, whilst enab...
It's story time... documenting my recovery from anorexia bulimia
Переглядів 4,5 тис.3 роки тому
In all honesty, writing this isn't easy. My second (?) to last video, I was 100% sure I was recovering from my eating disorder for the 'last time'. And now I'm aware that if I don't crack recovery this time, I will find myself stuck in the relapse-recover-relapse again cycle... which isn't how I imagined my life. As you'll know from my other videos, on paper I struggle with anorexia due to the ...
Yet another update !! Travels, recovery and a general chat about mental health
Переглядів 1,9 тис.4 роки тому
At 8.15pm tonight (1st February 2020) I board a flight to Thailand with my best friend Eve. This trip will last just over 5 months and has been something we had been planning since we met in our First Year of University back in 2016/17. Although very rushed, after a number of requests I have filmed a very quick update before I go !! It isn't the most slick video as I didn't really have time to ...
Recovery Update: Anorexia and Bulimia
Переглядів 1,4 тис.4 роки тому
Just a little update about how my eating disorder recovery is going so far! When I talk about the 'mental transition I have had, it has taken months. I started recovery from this relapse in late June/July. I stopped making any progress in September and only in mid December did it all fall into place. Don't knock yourself If you aren't quite there yet. Baby steps, even stopping for a while is ok...
Anorexia, this is my goodbye.
Переглядів 7 тис.4 роки тому
These past few weeks a lot has changed and I realised I was only kidding myself when I believed maintaining the lower weight that I was, was okay. I had an hour spare so ended up filming this little motivational rant. It's mainly for myself but I HOPE it can help anyone that's in that awful stage where you're in recovery but your head is screaming relapse continuously. I am in the process of ed...
Living With Bipolar Disorder (Type 2) | My Experiences So Far
Переглядів 11 тис.4 роки тому
Living With Bipolar Disorder (Type 2) | My Experiences So Far
I’m so so proud of you!! You are such an inspiration
One of the best and most inspiring recovery stories ❤
This is the most lovely update. Thank you for sharing, I feel like there has been such a change in the level of happiness that is coming from you, and your excitement for life. It is incredibly encouraging to see others managing their mental health struggles and courageously living their lives.
this video is so beautifully honest and realistically hopeful 💕 relate to so much, especially the comment about being told you’re too insightful lol. hypomania can be so rewarding in creativity and delusional confidence (positive thing btw not negative), just need to learn to manage the depression and irritability. i hope 5 years later you’re still doing well 💗 congratulations on your ED recovery as well, if you’re open to it i would love to hear another video updating your life living with bipolar
I regret everything bro I feel so guilty like really guilty I fucked up my tooth I can feel it and I’m scared My mom is going to be so mad
Finally, someone who can explain AN-bp in a way I resonate with. I’m far more addicted to restriction but my god I cannot stop the calculator and anxiety until I binge and purge. Using bulimia to cope with the hell of anorexia (and the sick illusion that it’s going to be fun) isn’t talked about enough. I’m so sorry you understand but hopefully that understanding gets further and further away
The extreme changes in energy is the biggest challenge with bipolar.
My last episode was 6 weeks of depression and a week of hypomania. Thanks for sharing. 👍
i don’t know why but you are the only person who can snap me back into reality after purging. i love you and thank you for everything you’ve done for me ❤
So happy to see you are doing well!! Please, enjoy life. Every single instant is too precious to give it to anorexia.
اخخخ بودي قولز
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
OMG, you are GORGEOUS!!! You're absolutely radiating and look 20-30 years younger. Stay strong, mentally and physically!!!!!!! Food is FUEL. I am completely gobsmacked how wonderful you look vs your former self.
❤❤
I have bulimia and my eyes are kinda puffy and i was near to death once with starvation but i was not unconscious
thank u for this ❤
Thx for sharing your struggle, insight and optimism!
You look incredible! Your hair and skin look amazing and you look younger too- awesome to see! I bet it has given you a tonne of time back as well, all that b/p can be so time consuming…. Have only just watched your vid from 2 years ago and searched to see how you were doing - so happy to see this..
I am so proud of you!! I know you don’t know me and that my affirmation does not mean much!! But I want you to know I’m incredibly incredibly proud of you. What you have done is absolutely tremendous! difficult to do and you are in the small percentage of people who gain freedom from such a awful, horrible disease!! You’re beautiful! And you always were, but now it shines through!!❤
so proud of you beautiful ❤
Beautiful beautiful girl, thank you for being an inspiration to many people out there. You are so much stronger than you'll ever know ❤
Congrats 🎉🎉
This is thinspo. I wish you wore a slightly higher cut too :(
What an awful thing to say to somebody
U chose to watch this to intentionally trigger yourself. That was your own choice. She shouldn't be held accountable for your own irresponsible impulses. If you know content like this isn't okay for you to see then you either choose not to watch it or go on and trigger yourself like u wanted and move on and don't go blaming this poor girl for your problem.
thank you for your video! it definitely helped explain and validate my feelings and experiences quite a lot. i haven’t been officially diagnosed but if i do i feel like i would ease into it because of how you explained it and how it isn’t a death sentence just need to manage it :) thank u for making this video and i hope you have a great day ✨
Thanks for sharing.
Still talking about it. That is not who you are. You are a child of God. Speak in the name of Jesus and rebuke demons. You have holy strength
What are u babblin about
You are not perfect. Eat whatever you want. Don't play the institution policy games. You will help so many more people when you overcome this spiritual warfare demons. Don't feel sorry for yourself. Do you want children in the future. Yes you are an adult. It does not matter what stage of life your in. Do not feel guilty. Be SELFISH for your recovery. Your man does not want you to feel guilty about him. He is there for you as he should be. Stop talking about it and be about it. Pray pray pray God is in charge
You go girl
OH MY GOD YOU LOOK ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS!!!! I am so so so happy for you, you have so much more life now
I want to say a massive thank you for all of the comments and kindness ❤ it truly has meant the world and as I said, I couldn’t have got here without the support of people like you. I’m currently in New Zealand travelling, but as soon as I get back i’ll make a video outlining what has helped me with recovery and getting to where I am today. In the meantime head over to my instagram @nicfstr to see my rather positive anorexia update. Thank you again xxx
our plessure to comment how strong are u❤❤i really love your videos and the way they help me your very beautifull and i hope u do well lots of love xoxo
my body goalsss❤😭
Thats unhealthy
Great recovery story! Thank you for updating us, and congrats. Keep up the good work, and take good care of yourself.
never found a video so similar to my experience
I had anorexia/bulimia for a few years. When I was a low weight and had bulimia I binged and purged 18 hours per day for 2 years straight not missing a single day. I honestly don't know how I'm alive. After binge episodes I would be so dehydrated water was like a drug and I would gulp it down. I still live in fear of the long term physical effects I must have caused that I may not be aware of. It is a HORRIBLE thing to go through I wouldn't wish it upon anyone
so proud of you!
This is inspiring
It's really impressive to see you now compared to this video. Truly amazing and inspiring 🥰☀️
the before and after is so inspiring you look amazing
OMG, finallyyyy! I watched your videos, and no news, no news, and I worried about you, but now you're again. :)
U look pretty❤❤
so glad to hear you’re doing better!🫂💓
Your older videos came on my feed. Glad to hear you're feeling better🌹❤️💜Keep up the good work. I'm in treatm with a team(A.N) and it's super challenging but I'm not giving up on life ❤️💕🌹💜🦋🌟💕🇩🇴
i have one little request.....could u do a video about what helped u the most during the change, what were u doing to make it worse and better...If it is possible, it would be extremely nice....i just need to feel and hear that im not the only person struggling with these causes.... thank u xoxoxo
Yes this is a really good idea! Thanks so much for commenting. I’ll start putting my thoughts together and film a video in the next few weeks, I already have quite a few clear ideas. It’ll also be really good for me to reflect on in case I’m ever struggling again! xx
thank u so much i'll be waiting lots of love xoxo@@nicfstr
🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤 love. thank you for sharing, giving me hope and a future to look forward to.
You are more beautiful than ever, I wish you health for the rest of your long life.
Congratulations its heartwarming to hear all the things you had achieved and how much better you're doing.
I'm in quite a struggle ngl and I just really want a definite answer, I'm diagnosed with anorexia and body dysmorphia and have a bmi of around 16.3 currently, my lowest ever was around 15.5 a year ago, so I've restored weight a bit. I'm fairly sure I'm secretly bulimic though however as I have a day of binging (where I often eat 3k - 4k calories at a time), and then purge by fasting the next few days and then repeat the cycle. Then again I'm also somewhat curious whether or not I have rumination disorder as instead of vomiting after I eat, I guiltily regurgitate the food back up and re-chew it to get the taste back but the same calories absorbed of course. I've noticed that despite this period being my skinniest point in my life, my face as never looked more fat and round, is this because of the binging and regurgitating (swelling of the glands), cause like my body is literally stick thin where my ribcage is visible, yet my face is so chubby looking, and I literally used to have quite the opposite years back when I was a healthy weight. It just causes so much anxiety and I hate it, I really just want to gain weight and quite honestly a bit of fat on my body/limbs, but my face looks like it already is fat :(
It would be great to see what you get up to, and to move away from recovery focused content. It’s so nice that you’re back.
oh my god, what a coincidence! I watched your video on the effects of bulimia about a week ago and went to your instagram - seeing your profile photo made me sooo happy that day and here you are posting a new vid! I'm currently in recovery and you are such a motivation to me, thank you
Welcome back!!!!!