What Animals Could I Beat In A Fight?

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  • Опубліковано 6 лют 2025
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    Outro Song: @PlayaPhonkOfficial • SHOOTING STARS

КОМЕНТАРІ • 2,4 тис.

  • @puurplegiraffe
    @puurplegiraffe 9 місяців тому +1420

    Poison: Bite it, you die
    Venom: It bites you, you die

    • @uncanny4038
      @uncanny4038 9 місяців тому +6

      not all the time

    • @yourstrulyraina
      @yourstrulyraina 9 місяців тому +125

      @@uncanny4038 uh yeah that’s the definitions

    • @puurplegiraffe
      @puurplegiraffe 9 місяців тому +79

      @@uncanny4038 yes, die is an exaggeration but it's good to keep in mind

    • @GooboobGogoboob
      @GooboobGogoboob 9 місяців тому +14

      But isn't Venom an alien symbiote he can basically help you to fight all of em🤔?

    • @uncanny4038
      @uncanny4038 9 місяців тому +1

      @@yourstrulyraina not all the time

  • @dontthey.
    @dontthey. 9 місяців тому +432

    Him silently moving kangaroos from 50% to 20% after the chatter is hilarious 💀🤣

    • @Rancid_mayonnasie
      @Rancid_mayonnasie 4 місяці тому +8

      20 is far far to high

    • @Fugieko.
      @Fugieko. 4 місяці тому

      @@Rancid_mayonnasieno it’s not they are known to kill people

    • @beanphoenix
      @beanphoenix 3 місяці тому +2

      @@Rancid_mayonnasienahh joe like 6’1 and has lifted for a while, he could easily out grapple it

    • @Rancid_mayonnasie
      @Rancid_mayonnasie 3 місяці тому +6

      @@beanphoenix dude a kangeroo could disembowel joe with its feet

    • @random-qj6ih
      @random-qj6ih 3 місяці тому +2

      ​No. A kangaroo is fucking stomping Joe 😭​@@beanphoenix

  • @Doberman_1
    @Doberman_1 9 місяців тому +1068

    This video tells me Joe has not watched casual geographic

    • @xrqvic4
      @xrqvic4 9 місяців тому +35

      i love casual geo ohemgee

    • @im_m3
      @im_m3 7 місяців тому +33

      He acts like an Ostrich cant Peck through your neck lmao

    • @im_m3
      @im_m3 7 місяців тому +12

      Also he found like, the smallest possible Kangaroo Plus they have claws, humans dont

    • @im_m3
      @im_m3 7 місяців тому +25

      19:45 Lets see,
      A bald eagle weighs up to 6.5 kg, (lets average down to 5)
      Bald eagle dive speed is 120km/h.
      If we check the amount of force that would create we would get:
      1/2*5*120*120
      Which equals to 2777 Joules
      How many Joules are needed to break a human skull? A little under 70, huh thats a lot less than 2700.
      Joe would immediately die if a bald eagle struck him in the head

    • @Daspunk790
      @Daspunk790 7 місяців тому

      What Eagle is gonna suicide dive bomb into someone and im not sure the math is that simple 😂​@@im_m3

  • @ZingZing609
    @ZingZing609 8 місяців тому +420

    The crazy thing is him putting the wild boar at 100 percent. He has no idea lol

    • @eddysw8549
      @eddysw8549 8 місяців тому +48

      And the pig. Does he not realise how big they can get??

    • @dtyury
      @dtyury 8 місяців тому +45

      Yeah, lots of nobles died hunting because of them in the middle ages, fully armed and equipped

    • @DDRHeretiC
      @DDRHeretiC 6 місяців тому +5

      Didn't the king in GOT get wrecked by a boar?

    • @gregorylouis617
      @gregorylouis617 6 місяців тому

      @@DDRHeretiC Yup...Boars are nasty little things, they kill humans more than what one would believe they could because people see a picture and say "oh hairy pig'...

    • @zoevillarreal2402
      @zoevillarreal2402 6 місяців тому +1

      UA-cam asked me how your comment made me feel

  • @HK3clips3
    @HK3clips3 8 місяців тому +24

    Hello! Australian here about the kangaroos. I would say if you fought a kangaroo it would be a 50/50 because kangaroos don't enjoy murdering creatures bigger than itself. Unless your fighting a fully grown male (2m tall) the kangaroo is probably going to stay away from you because you appear larger. If it's a fight to the death, you're probably gonna get a 20/80 chance. Kangaroos tails are so strong they can stay up on top of them to kick. Their legs are strong enough to get you on the ground in one kick, and their claws are sharp enough to rip apart your skin in one slash. It really depends what kind of kangaroo you're fighting. If you're fighting fully grown males then you have about a 0% survival chance (to the death). If it's average sized you'd have a 20% and if it's small you'd probably get off with a solid 75. Male kangaroos are very deadly, and are extremely intimidating.

    • @ccccccc4546
      @ccccccc4546 8 місяців тому

      Yea because he’d win against a female kangaroo

    • @HK3clips3
      @HK3clips3 8 місяців тому

      @@ccccccc4546 Well he was talking about fully grown males for all the other animals. Why not kangaroos?

    • @beanphoenix
      @beanphoenix 3 місяці тому

      the kangaroo realistically isnt taking a clean hook

    • @random-qj6ih
      @random-qj6ih Місяць тому

      ​@@ccccccc4546Female Kangaroos are tiny. They're like 80 pounds 😂

    • @therizzler-k3n
      @therizzler-k3n Місяць тому

      i’ve seen a man square up to a kangaroo then right hook it in the face, it ran like the wind. if you think joe isn’t beating it your crazy

  • @willtedford6511
    @willtedford6511 9 місяців тому +394

    “My odds are better against a wildebeest than a zebra” is crazy

    • @Combatgoblin83
      @Combatgoblin83 8 місяців тому +14

      Yep, 0.01% to 0.011% 😂

    • @ZoroIsGone
      @ZoroIsGone 7 місяців тому +9

      cow being 0% and bulldogs, hyena and wolves being 25%

    • @rustcohle9267
      @rustcohle9267 7 місяців тому +4

      @@ZoroIsGone 25% hyena? Its 0%

    • @chaseallison9063
      @chaseallison9063 6 місяців тому +6

      @@rustcohle9267real he doesn’t know the bite force of a hyena straight through your bones 😭

    • @Gypsydanger390
      @Gypsydanger390 6 місяців тому +1

      @@chaseallison9063fr a single bite from a hyena would severe your arm

  • @Thebettergeorge
    @Thebettergeorge 9 місяців тому +326

    33:58 it won a war against the Australian military, and the Australian military called it better, stronger, and faster than a tank. The emus took multiple bullets and still ran at full speed.

    • @BigBdog69
      @BigBdog69 9 місяців тому +6

      I would bet my life he would destroy a emu please tell me how an emu could kill plz tell me

    • @CasualCat64
      @CasualCat64 9 місяців тому +8

      He can still beat it bird bones are vulnerable to blunt attacks like kicks and punches if he breaks a limb which isn’t hard it’s over.

    • @InsincereMotives
      @InsincereMotives 9 місяців тому +31

      @@BigBdog69 can kill a person through evisceration if it corners them and kicks with its big three-toed feet. The toe claws of emus are capable of inflicting serious injuries or even death under the right conditions. Reports of injuries from encounters with emus in Australia and other parts of the world are not uncommon, particularly in wild-animal parks, emu farms, and zoos. Emus can dash away at nearly 50 km (30 miles) per hour and kick with their powerful legs when threatened. I think Joe could probably take one but that is how an emu would kill. Now if it were a cassowary Joe is dead as hell.

    • @EeveetoUmbreon25
      @EeveetoUmbreon25 9 місяців тому

      @@BigBdog69 one kick to your gut would have its foot coming out of your back

    • @ogku808s
      @ogku808s 9 місяців тому +7

      The Australian military is backwards and incompetent. No shocker there. I think Joe should’ve moved it to 50 but emus are not in the weight and brute force class to match a human

  • @joefather2463
    @joefather2463 9 місяців тому +560

    Orangutan being lower than 0% is insane. They could tear people apart out of curiosity.

    • @CasualCat64
      @CasualCat64 9 місяців тому +56

      The people weren’t Joe

    • @WalterWhite_3665
      @WalterWhite_3665 9 місяців тому

      @@CasualCat64 it doesn't matter you give joe a machete and he would get absolutly bodied by an orangutan

    • @c0ltz450
      @c0ltz450 9 місяців тому +6

      ​@CasualCat64 yeah Joe can take it. Even though they are almost as brutal as gorilla's.

    • @BeyondBasic2
      @BeyondBasic2 9 місяців тому +19

      There has never been a documented attack by sn orangutan in the wild Like ever. And in captivity there were still very few attacks and the injuries weren't bad. You may be thinking of chimps

    • @joefather2463
      @joefather2463 9 місяців тому +36

      @@BeyondBasic2 Ok? Theyre naturally not aggressive toward humans but that is not what this video is about. Theyre 5+ times stronger than humans, and documented fights with them has not ended up with the human winning

  • @boomguycalledbobthatbooms
    @boomguycalledbobthatbooms 9 місяців тому +171

    Brother. An orangutan will tear your face apart. Literally. They aim for the nose, ears and all non fatal areas to cause the most pain before they kill you. Thats with most apes too. They are scary bro.
    Edit: 8 months later and I'm still wondering why so many people liked this comment 😭

    • @hondaaccord1399
      @hondaaccord1399 8 місяців тому

      Only an ape knows how to cause the most pain against an ape 😂

    • @COVID-19_Crab
      @COVID-19_Crab 7 місяців тому +9

      Isn't that chimps?

    • @1000g2g3g4g800999
      @1000g2g3g4g800999 7 місяців тому

      @@COVID-19_Crab I'm pretty sure any great ape, including humans can. Kind of irrelevant citing an injury inflicted on someone by their pet they had no intention of harming in a fight.
      Also, I don't know where this stuff about apes being so savage and brutal is coming from, Gorillas and Orangutans aren't known for being nearly as mean as chimps, though they are stronger.
      Also, chimps aren't even stronger than humans, it's an old myth that needs to die, their pulling strength with their arms is stronger relative to their size, but because they're smaller it evens out. They also have good grip strength. In every other respect strength with their arms or legs would be measured, they are completely outclassed.

    • @JustSeb825825_p4ssw0rd
      @JustSeb825825_p4ssw0rd 7 місяців тому

      @@COVID-19_Crabyes, this is with chimps. that being said tho joe would die to an orangutan more than likely.

    • @Zozz-tw9vn
      @Zozz-tw9vn 6 місяців тому

      @@COVID-19_Crabmost apes fight like each other

  • @fatjoker2970
    @fatjoker2970 8 місяців тому +243

    Nobody talking about him dismissing the boar so quickly, but a lot of the time boars manage to kill or at least greatly injure prepared armed men. His ass is not beating a boar once in a hundred times with his bare hands 💀💀

    • @LuckyKlvrSyx
      @LuckyKlvrSyx 8 місяців тому +7

      Nah I saw him do it

    • @ZappaSheik
      @ZappaSheik 8 місяців тому +17

      I've seen a man kill a grown boar with his bare hands, just to save his 2 sons.
      It was horrific and at the same time proof that a father is unstoppable when it comes to his children.

    • @ironiccookies2320
      @ironiccookies2320 7 місяців тому +8

      It's not 0% but it's not 100%. A lot of people in the Medieval in full armor died to wild boars during hunts

    • @joedirty1478
      @joedirty1478 5 місяців тому +1

      Hell no boar bare handed no chance how strong does he think he is lmao

    • @M4J1N.
      @M4J1N. 4 місяці тому

      Nah he is, boars suck easy win for him

  • @Phantomxvz
    @Phantomxvz 9 місяців тому +723

    even though he put it at 0%, if anyone were to try and fight a bear it'd be Joe out of sheer confidence

    • @Plonst
      @Plonst 9 місяців тому +12

      According to Joe it helps if it's hairless

    • @Phantomxvz
      @Phantomxvz 9 місяців тому +11

      @@Plonst I mean it’d make it harder to like grab on to it

    • @streamerHDclips
      @streamerHDclips 9 місяців тому

      @@Phantomxvzsay pause or else your gay 🏳️‍🌈

    • @mehb0ss73
      @mehb0ss73 9 місяців тому +2

      No

    • @uncanny4038
      @uncanny4038 9 місяців тому +1

      @@mehb0ss73yes he would

  • @larryandfuzz
    @larryandfuzz 9 місяців тому +108

    16:30 I just want to mention the difference between a moose and a deer to just show how strong a moose actually is.
    What i mean by that is that if there was a deer on the road, its safer to hit it than to try and dodge it, however if a moose is on the road, its safer to dodge it, as driving into a moose has been described as “driving into a brick wall.”

    • @technorl_tt
      @technorl_tt 9 місяців тому +9

      You have a better survival chance if you get hit with a fat man (atomic bomb) than if you hit a moose going like 80 mph

    • @IdFk-l9v
      @IdFk-l9v 9 місяців тому

      Joe said this in the video but yes exactly

    • @requiemsonyoutube
      @requiemsonyoutube 2 місяці тому

      @@technorl_ttLOL

  • @NoobBacon21
    @NoobBacon21 9 місяців тому +758

    Not the Chat screaming *GYATTTT!!* while joe Flexing💀 Edit: Holy didnt realize this comment would blow up

  • @shadw7090
    @shadw7090 9 місяців тому +227

    Bro thinks he’s Hercules 😭

    • @bridgetfornengo8785
      @bridgetfornengo8785 4 місяці тому +2

      Fr

    • @karicrouse2931
      @karicrouse2931 4 місяці тому +3

      I’m sorry for correcting you but do you mean Heracles

    • @midwayfx
      @midwayfx 4 місяці тому +10

      @@karicrouse2931 you know heracles is the greek name and hercules is the roman name right?

    • @trvnthch
      @trvnthch 2 місяці тому

      @@karicrouse2931her-cyoo-leez, herrah-cleese, huh

    • @DefinitelyLebronJames
      @DefinitelyLebronJames 2 місяці тому

      @@karicrouse2931it’s a hero from Greek mythology😂

  • @alihandroalessandro4533
    @alihandroalessandro4533 9 місяців тому +62

    Joe putting a baboon in the 100% category is crazy

    • @hondaaccord1399
      @hondaaccord1399 8 місяців тому

      Literally unless an ape is a half or quarter your height, it's slaughtering you

    • @Melvin-nt9xu
      @Melvin-nt9xu 6 місяців тому

      Baboons are very small tho compared to other apes and the only thing going for them is their intimidating teeth. But most primates like chimpanzees would absolutely destroy him or most humans in a fight

  • @pantsoiler28
    @pantsoiler28 9 місяців тому +359

    joe acting like he wouldn't tear every animal to shreds for the whole video🙏🙏

    • @Plutopongovideos
      @Plutopongovideos 9 місяців тому +24

      The bear would tear him open

    • @TurmoilTheThird
      @TurmoilTheThird 9 місяців тому +21

      The crocodile would rip his limbs off

    • @lightlingzooma-69
      @lightlingzooma-69 9 місяців тому +18

      Kangaroos have sharp claws so if you strangle it, it can rip your hands

    • @Plutopongovideos
      @Plutopongovideos 9 місяців тому +5

      Joe could toss a goose away

    • @ToxicTiger_Tx4
      @ToxicTiger_Tx4 9 місяців тому +10

      @@lightlingzooma-69 He underestimated kangaroos, they are way stronger than a human is. Not only can their kicks break your fucking ribb cage open, they also can strike you with their tail.

  • @rayraygames13
    @rayraygames13 9 місяців тому +234

    Not Joe mounting the ostrich like a lynel 💀

    • @Joploppy
      @Joploppy 9 місяців тому +17

      Ostrich is a 0 too. Those things are psychos

    • @drk166
      @drk166 9 місяців тому +21

      ostrich's can sometimes kill lions, joe is not winning 💀

    • @technorl_tt
      @technorl_tt 9 місяців тому +1

      @@drk166cap

    • @Buttermilks-b7q
      @Buttermilks-b7q 9 місяців тому +17

      @@technorl_tt it’s true in Australia I’ve seen ostriches kill a lion, they are very powerful animals and there ain’t no way he’s winning

    • @nilaaplayzyt
      @nilaaplayzyt 9 місяців тому

      ​@Condorkeysyou just gotta scare the ostrich and if you do(not unlikely), then he'll just put his head into the ground and stay there while u can kill it

  • @NolanRohloff
    @NolanRohloff 5 місяців тому +17

    Bros self confidence is crazy he’s not beating 99% of the animals on the list he just bases his chances on weight nothing more

    • @krys7643
      @krys7643 5 місяців тому +2

      I wouldn’t say 99% although he’s not beating an eagle, orangutan, wildebeest, and a kangaroo

    • @pvrfxct5430
      @pvrfxct5430 16 днів тому

      @@krys7643 eagle is possible and average non orange kangaroo is possible

    • @flynnhill3219
      @flynnhill3219 6 днів тому

      @@pvrfxct5430kangaroo is absolutely not possible they can grow up more than 7 feet tall. They have rock hard muscles and they can stand on there tail and kill you in 1 kick. These dumb Americans are seriously pissing me off

  • @UuGgCc
    @UuGgCc 9 місяців тому +175

    Joe stop just looking at weight and height u gotta look up how many people they've injured or killed and their bite force. Sorry u have no chance against a hyena or emu😭🙏🏼💀

    • @ChickenNugget-nv2cg
      @ChickenNugget-nv2cg 9 місяців тому +9

      what nah hed def have a chance against an emu. hyena nah but emu ya fs

    • @drphilsranch6782
      @drphilsranch6782 8 місяців тому +18

      @@ChickenNugget-nv2cg, Emus are basically modern day dinosaurs. He has no chance.

    • @hondaaccord1399
      @hondaaccord1399 8 місяців тому +12

      ​@@ChickenNugget-nv2cg
      Emus couldn't be beaten by three men with a jeep and a machine gun

    • @fuerstmetternich1997
      @fuerstmetternich1997 8 місяців тому +1

      Hyena no chance cause it fights all the time but Emu? What is a long necked bird gonna do? Peck? Ok and then when its neck is grabbed and crushed? Or if you kick its legs?

    • @UuGgCc
      @UuGgCc 8 місяців тому +10

      @@fuerstmetternich1997 u do know how strong emus necks and legs are right?😭

  • @Misomoyi
    @Misomoyi 9 місяців тому +54

    Joe is being a bit too confident 💀

  • @doomguy3358
    @doomguy3358 9 місяців тому +51

    I can’t stop thinking of how Joe would have a goofy ass family guy fight with these animals

  • @_Gam3r
    @_Gam3r 9 місяців тому +25

    joe: ladybug 0% chance
    also joe: wolf, hyena, snake, ostrich, kangaroo 20% chance

  • @Tghddfds
    @Tghddfds 9 місяців тому +68

    Bro forgot that kangaroos have claws that can rip through concrete.

    • @Combatgoblin83
      @Combatgoblin83 8 місяців тому +11

      They also forget they’re 7ft tall and built like powerlifters 😂

    • @Saki_editsOnAe
      @Saki_editsOnAe 8 місяців тому

      Apparently if u hit a kangaroo with a car it'll do more damage to the car than the kangaroo

    • @1000g2g3g4g800999
      @1000g2g3g4g800999 7 місяців тому +3

      @@Saki_editsOnAe The car will get wrecked, the Kangaroo will die.

    • @Tryingtosub4kpeople
      @Tryingtosub4kpeople 6 місяців тому

      They can kick so unbelievably hard he never rlly mentioned that

  • @gage8160
    @gage8160 28 днів тому +2

    14:28 Joe please never make it seem like there is a difference between a buck and a deer, one just has antlers.

    • @waffle_644
      @waffle_644 15 днів тому

      I think he meant buck or doe, the two different sexes of deer. In that case, it would make a difference. Males are much stronger than females.

  • @escanor1794
    @escanor1794 8 місяців тому +14

    21:15 I know a person who went on a one-person trip and met a wolf. He did not have his weapon because he was in the tent and fought with the wolf. He lost an eye and his face was cut into pieces, but in the end he killed the wolf.

    • @NitrogenVM
      @NitrogenVM 7 місяців тому

      it was a sigma wolf (literally)

    • @adamamar5100
      @adamamar5100 7 місяців тому

      I won but at what cost

    • @LethalByChoice
      @LethalByChoice 7 місяців тому

      Bet you it was a small wolf that he could ragdoll. Any wolf over 100 pounds is GOING to kill you if you have no weapons. You have no chance of winning.

  • @meowmeow-gc5nv
    @meowmeow-gc5nv 9 місяців тому +66

    Man only took like 2 years to do this, man was edging us 🙏💀

    • @Daspankyfish
      @Daspankyfish 9 місяців тому +7

      Bro what!?💀

    • @Fleetstreetbestone
      @Fleetstreetbestone 7 місяців тому

      no way bro thats rad af my guy!!!!!

    • @andrewjones4774
      @andrewjones4774 6 місяців тому

      “Edging” 😭😭☠️☠️☠️😐😐🤔👁️👄👁️

  • @dylantrashmint8379
    @dylantrashmint8379 9 місяців тому +46

    I think the mark Zuckerberg one just represents humans.

    • @floatingcantaloupe
      @floatingcantaloupe 9 місяців тому +18

      hey! the person who made the tier list here. Mark represents the lizard family.

    • @empyr1al838
      @empyr1al838 9 місяців тому

      🤓

    • @LeoLau-jw7ji
      @LeoLau-jw7ji 9 місяців тому +3

      nononononono he's mark MARK Mark Zuckerberg has raised internet eyebrows after revealing he has taken part in an intensive challenge in which he ran a mile, completed 100 pull-ups, 200 press-ups and 300 squats, before running a further mile, all while wearing a 9kg weighted vest.

    • @buddybrick
      @buddybrick 7 місяців тому

      ​@@LeoLau-jw7jihe also won many grappling taurnament. Local tournament ofcaurce

    • @sam_the_dusty4156
      @sam_the_dusty4156 7 місяців тому +1

      he represents skinwalkers

  • @CadenBrewer-v4q
    @CadenBrewer-v4q 9 місяців тому +13

    This video was actually one of my favorites great job Joe

  • @Supercooolguy
    @Supercooolguy 9 місяців тому +64

    Putting mark and a silverback gorilla in the same category is just not right😭

    • @Jesus_Christ_Is_Lord09
      @Jesus_Christ_Is_Lord09 7 місяців тому +8

      Can I just remind you something or tell you? Well. Heres a reminder: Jesus Christ, The true God came down to earth because he loves you and He did something so loving. He died for your sins, And Not only that he died so you can have a decision, To follow Jesus Christ and follow him to heaven, Or Deny his offer for salvation and eternal life and instead choose to suffer eternally in hell. Jesus Christ wants us to go to heaven and save us from ourselfs, Because we are sinners. Thats why I Kindly ask you, Give Jesus Christ a chance. If you have any questions Or anything to say, Please tell me. And Ill answer. May Jesus Christ bless you, truly and may he be with you. Amen. 🙏🏼🙏🏼 .

    • @someguy2819
      @someguy2819 5 місяців тому +3

      Agreed. Mark is far more powerful than a silverback gorilla.

    • @Jesus_Christ_Is_Lord09
      @Jesus_Christ_Is_Lord09 5 місяців тому

      @@someguy2819 Yo. Can I Please remind you of the Good news? If so. Please know Jesus Christ, the perfect human being, Being full God and full man. Gave his own life for you, And everyone. He did it so you can be forgiven, and saved. Because of what Jesus Christ did, You noe have eternal life. When infact, You are unworthy to have it. It is Given. Please, Repent and Have faith in Jesus Christ. For he is, THE Lord and savior ☦️🙏🏼 God Bless. Amen

  • @Philllllllllllllllllll
    @Philllllllllllllllllll 9 місяців тому +12

    The way he kept circling back to fucking up the kangaroo had me crying

  • @kayleeknight9930
    @kayleeknight9930 9 місяців тому +31

    The only animals Joe could possibly beat is the animals Val.
    Bet he’s going to use this tier list as a way to gloat

    • @alessandraperez3081
      @alessandraperez3081 9 місяців тому +2

      what gloat💀

    • @IlIA8lTIll.
      @IlIA8lTIll. 9 місяців тому

      @@alessandraperez3081English?

    • @0P09PQ
      @0P09PQ 9 місяців тому

      joe was just too focused on the weight class

    • @LethalByChoice
      @LethalByChoice 7 місяців тому +1

      @@0P09PQ He doesn't realize weight isn't everything when an animal has laws and a wild instinct.

  • @bryerc5785
    @bryerc5785 9 місяців тому +11

    17:00 fun fact, mose eyes dont reflect light so u cant see them on the road at night thats why so many people hit them and die

  • @user-sy2gh6vm8v
    @user-sy2gh6vm8v 9 місяців тому +22

    35:58 a Wildebeest at 20%? Do you know how strong they are, they kill big cats and many other carnivores. That’s an instant 0%

    • @Taost.
      @Taost. 9 місяців тому +3

      same with hyena and zebra

    • @CasualCat64
      @CasualCat64 9 місяців тому

      20 is fair all it takes is a lucky stick shot which is exactly what 20% is

    • @Mr_Chili05
      @Mr_Chili05 9 місяців тому

      ⁠@@CasualCat64no a single lucky stick shot is hurting a wildebeast they would fuck you up

    • @user-sy2gh6vm8v
      @user-sy2gh6vm8v 9 місяців тому +2

      @@CasualCat64 yeah but even 20% is a stretch, maybe like 5%

    • @CasualCat64
      @CasualCat64 9 місяців тому +2

      @@user-sy2gh6vm8v I’d say 5% is an average teens chances with an average adult male fairing a little better at 10% assuming they both have weapons to puncture skin. Joe is 2x that of the average man strength wise.

  • @ghostlyhell500
    @ghostlyhell500 2 місяці тому +4

    33:50 Hey, don't judge an emu, we lost a war to them....

  • @NA-zz4ug
    @NA-zz4ug 7 місяців тому +11

    Most zookeepers prefer going into a lion cage to feed them than a zebra.

  • @vksorkz8256
    @vksorkz8256 2 місяці тому +3

    20:14 Joe is fighting the ender dragon irl💀💀

  • @troytueller9992
    @troytueller9992 8 місяців тому +7

    Joes number one route to killing something is to “jump on its back”

  • @krimsonspider
    @krimsonspider 8 місяців тому +6

    Now do "Which horror villains could I beat in a fight"

  • @camrobischon4369
    @camrobischon4369 5 місяців тому +2

    The image i've painted in my head of Joe hopping on an ostrich and giving it an indian burn is fucking hilarious

  • @CheeseburberOfficial
    @CheeseburberOfficial Місяць тому +1

    11:28 "Honestly. hear me out. Get up on it's back..."- Joe Bart, April 21, 2024

  • @JA6XN
    @JA6XN 9 місяців тому +17

    2:28 everyone in chat started saying *”GYATT”* 💀💀💀💀

    • @stoopid.ideeit
      @stoopid.ideeit 9 місяців тому +5

      I was on the stream, I was one of them 😭🙏

    • @Pinej-46
      @Pinej-46 9 місяців тому +1

      It ok I did it to 😂😂😂

  • @simohayha4152
    @simohayha4152 9 місяців тому +34

    those Kangaroos can quite literally disembowel with a single kick

    • @CasualCat64
      @CasualCat64 9 місяців тому +6

      Ez parry intelligence diff

    • @JacqueBibblequip
      @JacqueBibblequip 9 місяців тому

      One goober acc rolled a 1 and got 1 shotted

    • @Bane520
      @Bane520 9 місяців тому +9

      Not a single kick. They can be dangerous sure but the "average joe" could fuck them up. Their legs are the only real issue, and I can't imagine they're that hard to outmaneuver. I don't know why people are so heavily overestimating kangaroos.

    • @cloudyskies9897
      @cloudyskies9897 8 місяців тому +2

      @@Bane520bluds delusional

    • @Bane520
      @Bane520 8 місяців тому

      @@cloudyskies9897 How?

  • @vfxkasai
    @vfxkasai 9 місяців тому +41

    Bro has a 0 % chance against an bald eagle coming at you at 99 mph💀

    • @Gort_the_surf1123
      @Gort_the_surf1123 9 місяців тому +10

      You wouldn't stand a chance in a hand-to-hand fight with an eagle. Eagles are powerful birds with sharp talons and beaks designed for hunting. Their grip strength is immense, and their agility in the air far surpasses anything a human can achieve. Even if you managed to grab an eagle, it would likely slash or peck you with its beak before you could overpower it.

    • @xN0XvRVLEZx
      @xN0XvRVLEZx 8 місяців тому +13

      @@Gort_the_surf1123u can just shatter its bones with ur grip alone

    • @externish
      @externish 8 місяців тому +5

      ​@@Gort_the_surf1123dude their like 1/3 the size of humans

    • @scienceisthetruth5927
      @scienceisthetruth5927 8 місяців тому +11

      ​@@Bigbob508 Are you serious dude? Break all the bones in your body in one hit? Eagles are not pragrene falcons,they do not divebomb and if the eagle even tried that, the thing that would be heard from impact would be a splash and the eagle turned unrecognizable even if the human is severely injured afterwards (always depending on the point of contact ofc). At the end of the day,as long as you keep both if your hands in front of your face the eagle can't do anything.

    • @Bro-dot-
      @Bro-dot- 8 місяців тому +3

      @@Gort_the_surf1123 You say birds are designed for hunting forgetting humans are literally the top animal at hunting.

  • @nateroo1486
    @nateroo1486 4 місяці тому +2

    it's funnier to me that he thinks he can wipe the floor with a wild boar and a baboon but put a manatee (what he thought was a beluga) in "i die 100%" lol

  • @MohameedMosa-l6x
    @MohameedMosa-l6x День тому +1

    Sloths have the strength of 3 men and can withstand the drop of 100 feet with no injuries

  • @dillonbradbury4991
    @dillonbradbury4991 8 місяців тому +12

    Guys.. giraffes kill lions all the time by stomping them to death.
    You have 0 chance 😂

    • @mohamedabsiye2634
      @mohamedabsiye2634 5 місяців тому +1

      A pack of lions could kill a giraffe

    • @VachoMachoMan
      @VachoMachoMan 5 місяців тому +1

      @@mohamedabsiye2634can you fight off a pack of lions

    • @RomanoImperium
      @RomanoImperium Місяць тому +1

      ​@@VachoMachoMan a peak human could. If we took a caveman and subject him to the best workouts and muscle training available, he might be able to take on a coupl of lions (granted he would need at least a small stone dagger or smth)

    • @davisl5694
      @davisl5694 Місяць тому +2

      @RomanoImperium I’ve never seen someone dumber. The fact that you said multiple lions makes it even worse.

  • @J6ZX
    @J6ZX 9 місяців тому +3

    i love you joe but you should follow your merch’s advice and think for yourself; kangaroos most definitely do *not* drown dogs for fun, they are known to lead pursuing predators into nearby water if available and drown them in it as a defence mechanism.
    the idea they go around drowning dogs specifically and that any of it is for fun is untrue, they simply use water to defend themselves if it seems the most viable option to them at the time.

    • @Bane520
      @Bane520 9 місяців тому

      They're also not as impossibly strong as people think. Just look at threads of people asking which would win, human or kangaroo, the replies are insane.

    • @J6ZX
      @J6ZX 9 місяців тому

      @@Bane520 yeah, i mean it’s understandable since most people aren’t exactly looking at how animals hold up in a fight, obviously kangaroos are great boxers, but they’re definitely more realistically beatable then a bloody ostrich

  • @sane1125
    @sane1125 7 місяців тому +6

    chimp at 0 but orangutan at 20 is crazy

    • @3van27
      @3van27 3 місяці тому +1

      Both are 0 tbh

    • @Mrhugofrosty
      @Mrhugofrosty 15 днів тому

      @@3van27not really tho. A chimp is 0% sure but a orangutang are not angry animals that want to kill and also have a insanely slow moving speed

  • @granvilledavid7814
    @granvilledavid7814 3 місяці тому +1

    Sea Turtles are known for getting in fights with Tiger Sharks.

  • @uniqu3usern4m3
    @uniqu3usern4m3 3 місяці тому +1

    Crazy thing is that kangaroos use their arms to hold their enemies and then kick hard and dig their claws into whatever they're fighting, so you'll most likely get disemboweled

  • @ZANNERZAVITZ
    @ZANNERZAVITZ 9 місяців тому +8

    Joe: im gonna be rubbing his neck, im gonna be chokin it

    • @doomsday24
      @doomsday24 7 місяців тому

      "MMMMM OHH YEAAAH"

  • @dwoods3244
    @dwoods3244 9 місяців тому +38

    You guys think Joe still thinks he could beam an eagle dive bombing him with a rock? He’s still not easily beating an eagle tbh. Joe really think he’s a baseball pitcher and could snipe an eagle dive bombing at him with a small rock with ease.

    • @RhonePitini-ql7pw
      @RhonePitini-ql7pw 9 місяців тому +3

      100% Joe is built different

    • @benradey379
      @benradey379 9 місяців тому +10

      Def not sniping it out of the sky but definitely beating it once you get a hold of it.

    • @YHWHsam
      @YHWHsam 9 місяців тому +4

      It’s 14 pounds he’s winning at least 75% of the time

    • @EeveetoUmbreon25
      @EeveetoUmbreon25 9 місяців тому

      I give human vs eagle a 50/50, if the eagle is smart it dive bombs while using its talons to tear me apart. If its stupid, it will most likely launch a frontal assault by clawing at my face with its claws while flapping its wings, at which point as long as you tank the damage from the claws, you should be able to get a hold of the bird and end it. But depends on the bird, if it does bird things you gotta get lucky or die

    • @nilaaplayzyt
      @nilaaplayzyt 9 місяців тому

      ​@@EeveetoUmbreon25as if i couldnt weave that mf thats comming from miles away

  • @ArtyPping
    @ArtyPping 9 місяців тому +4

    "he is probably thinking about other girls"
    him:

  • @gojiberrii1261
    @gojiberrii1261 8 місяців тому +1

    Just a few things to point out:
    .Kangaroos have large claws on their feet that could do some serious damage
    .Camels can be extremely aggressive and easily bite off fingers/hands or mutilate you
    .Eagles lift deer and goats and throw them off cliffs, they aren't exactly pushovers
    .Zebra would absolutely decimate you, they are dangerous as hell
    .Chimps are terrifyingly strong and vicious
    .You would most likely kill a platypus, but considering that you'd be fighting in the water, if you get hit with their spur, you will be in excruciating pain for a minimum of a few days or a maximum of a few months
    .Boars are very, very dangerous and would most likely kill you or severely injure you

    • @drubble1410
      @drubble1410 7 місяців тому +1

      depends on the eagle - golden eagles have been known to attack and even kill young/small deer, but adult deers are off of the table.

  • @randomperson4410
    @randomperson4410 3 місяці тому +2

    The one animal he could actually defeat and he puts a damn cheetah up on his non survivable 😭😭

  • @tannercarr1335
    @tannercarr1335 9 місяців тому +17

    bear back-shots is crazy

    • @stoopid.ideeit
      @stoopid.ideeit 9 місяців тому

      Fr but what’s with the timestamp?

  • @CrimsonKOSER
    @CrimsonKOSER 8 місяців тому +5

    Kangaroos buff asf in you just haven’t seen the right pictures

  • @MaryGrace2326
    @MaryGrace2326 5 місяців тому +1

    This video is the epitome of a breakfast bagel while being hungover

  • @Macaroniman129
    @Macaroniman129 4 місяці тому +1

    Joe doesn’t realize that if you get on something’s back it will buck you off instantly

  • @jonnyisbarretta
    @jonnyisbarretta 9 місяців тому +20

    You’re getting destroyed by an orangutan

  • @videogames7032
    @videogames7032 8 місяців тому +5

    bruh you not hitting an eagle with a rock when it's dive bombing you xD

    • @AvarFPS
      @AvarFPS 8 місяців тому

      Eagles don't dive bomb and if it did then it would immediately pass out or die

    • @marcelomelo9977
      @marcelomelo9977 8 місяців тому

      Only falcons, which are commically small, do that and even then once an eagle comes close it's game over from there

    • @videogames7032
      @videogames7032 8 місяців тому

      ​@@marcelomelo9977 lol, I've seen bald eagles fish, and not to mention they also dive bomb while mating

    • @videogames7032
      @videogames7032 8 місяців тому

      @@AvarFPS lol, I've seen bald eagles fish, and not to mention they also dive bomb while mating

    • @AvarFPS
      @AvarFPS 8 місяців тому

      @@videogames7032 that would be suicide if they hit a human

  • @ernestdominguez9320
    @ernestdominguez9320 6 місяців тому +10

    This guy put boar at 100%. I'd say he's lucky if he even survives an encounter with one lol.

    • @NikoGartelos
      @NikoGartelos 5 місяців тому

      Yeah Joe probably would have a tough time with one

    • @PowerScale-y1r
      @PowerScale-y1r Місяць тому

      Bro was thinking of the small species

  • @addie211
    @addie211 6 місяців тому +1

    I love the story’s that go along with all this

  • @Mammals511
    @Mammals511 6 місяців тому +2

    The fact that you think you have 20% chance against the zebra in a camel is wild though. In real life with no weapon around you. I give it a little bit less than 20. 😂😂

    • @almac9203
      @almac9203 5 місяців тому

      A zerbra can break a lions jaw with a kick so if it connects it is over. I would put the chances at zero. Most of these fights are zero.

  • @theral_24karatgarrett
    @theral_24karatgarrett 7 місяців тому +4

    Joe tryna act humble damn well knowing he would shred 10 of every animal on this list all at the same time with ease

    • @Liam12431
      @Liam12431 7 місяців тому

      Not really

    • @drubble1410
      @drubble1410 7 місяців тому +2

      @@Liam12431 almost as if hes joking pal

  • @nerf.miner1
    @nerf.miner1 9 місяців тому +13

    Nah the Tasmanian tiger wild kratts episode went hard

  • @TSH3890
    @TSH3890 8 місяців тому +11

    Spider Crabs are super overpowered. They are Durable enough to survive pressure strong enough to crush the titanic in half a second. It also has the claws that can rip right through bones. 0% No luck can help you survive against this monstrosity

    • @Melvin-nt9xu
      @Melvin-nt9xu 6 місяців тому +1

      I think the biggest problem is to survive their environment

    • @TSH3890
      @TSH3890 6 місяців тому +1

      @@Melvin-nt9xu well even if it was in a fair environment where both of them can survive. The crab would just crack open his skull

    • @Melvin-nt9xu
      @Melvin-nt9xu 6 місяців тому +3

      @@TSH3890 Spider crabs are generally not dangerous to humans. They are large and can be intimidating due to their size and appearance, but they are not aggressive towards people. Their primary defense mechanism is to retreat rather than to attack. In their natural habitat, they usually keep to themselves and avoid contact with humans.
      - Chat GPT

    • @Melvin-nt9xu
      @Melvin-nt9xu 6 місяців тому +1

      @@TSH3890 I also asked what kind of injury their claws would cause to a hand.
      The responds:
      If a spider crab were to pinch a hand, it could cause minor injuries such as bruising, pinching, or scratches. The claws might cause some pain and discomfort, and in more severe cases, they could break the skin or cause a small laceration. However, their claws are not typically strong enough to cause serious or deep injuries.

  • @LiamIc_y
    @LiamIc_y Місяць тому

    A Joe vid a day keeps the depression away even tho I’m late…

  • @mininggypsy499
    @mininggypsy499 6 місяців тому

    “I’m likely more intelligent than these animals” is wild😂😂

  • @therent7161
    @therent7161 9 місяців тому +4

    Joe bart is the goat of streamers 🐐

  • @Mogsillq
    @Mogsillq 9 місяців тому +20

    Joe is not killing a wolf 😭

    • @LethalByChoice
      @LethalByChoice 7 місяців тому

      He's literally not. The vast majority with no weapons are NOT killing a wolf. Joe's friend who said he could kill two wolves with his bare hands is an idiot. Wolves can weigh up to 120-150 pounds and there's wolves in Alaska that can weigh more than that. Their bite force can go up to 1000 to 1500 psi.
      There is a very good reason why there's breeds of dogs that are literally bred to kill wolves because the majority of dog species cannot 1v1 a wolf and win, they will get their shit rocked for multiple reasons. Inferior muscular strength, smaller teeth, weaker jaw muscles, weaker fighting instinct, etc.
      Joe's friend is not killing *one* wolf let alone *two.*
      Joe is 100% dead.

    • @user-zz7zh7yv3t
      @user-zz7zh7yv3t 7 місяців тому +4

      Depends on the species of wolf
      There are wolves which are quiet small and some others get much larger

    • @LethalByChoice
      @LethalByChoice 7 місяців тому

      @@user-zz7zh7yv3t Apparently UA-cam deleted my comment but I was saying a wolf around 100 pounds or larger Joe is not beating and his friend is delusional for saying he could take on one wolf let alone two. Small wolves sure but if we're talking wolves from canada or alaska which can weigh well over 100 pounds up to 175lbs yeah no Joe is not beating them in a fight.

    • @Mogsillq
      @Mogsillq 7 місяців тому

      @@user-zz7zh7yv3t Joe gets killed his bench is 250 wich is ok but I bench 335 do muy Thai and I even I think I’m getting killed

    • @Melvin-nt9xu
      @Melvin-nt9xu 6 місяців тому

      Grey wolf probably no but even then it’s maybe I’m not sure.

  • @JuicedaGOAT-u7n
    @JuicedaGOAT-u7n 7 місяців тому +3

    7:25 L take

  • @Gokublack-r4d
    @Gokublack-r4d 9 місяців тому

    WE GETTING THE VEGAN TEACHER ANGRY WITH THIS ONE 🗣️🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯

  • @corbinho11
    @corbinho11 9 місяців тому +2

    The bald eagle call was insane, aren't their claws bigger than human hands?

  • @stealthy1017
    @stealthy1017 9 місяців тому +65

    Vegan Teacher is not gonna like this one

  • @veganator2683
    @veganator2683 7 місяців тому +8

    Bro thinks he can kill a zebra with his bare hands when a fucking lion struggles to do so...

  • @johnhilbert9130
    @johnhilbert9130 8 місяців тому +3

    nah the wolf one is valid, there was a big ass german shepherd coming at me and i flipped that mf

    • @johnhilbert9130
      @johnhilbert9130 8 місяців тому +2

      ..and with large dogs as long as u try to keep ur arteries safe and stay up off the floor you will most likely be able to concuss the dog i would get a rock in this situation so ye

    • @Skyypixelgamer
      @Skyypixelgamer 8 місяців тому

      True but wolves tend to be bigger than German shepherds especially the North American ones.

    • @lilminty3067
      @lilminty3067 8 місяців тому +7

      @@johnhilbert9130dawg you not beating no wolf. a wolf would punk a german shepherd. these kids need to stay off the internet

    • @blabla-fw9ix
      @blabla-fw9ix 8 місяців тому

      @@lilminty3067 A lot of people are delusional here including the guy that made the video . Wolves can reach 75 kg of mass , have such a strong bite that they can break your bones . Maybe a guy like Brian Shaw has a chance but for most men fighting a wolf is a death sentence .

    • @ccccccc4546
      @ccccccc4546 8 місяців тому +1

      I don’t think you understand how huge wolves are compared to even the largest dog breed. Even their teeth and claws are larger. You would not flip a wolf.

  • @jacksonlee21
    @jacksonlee21 6 місяців тому

    ngl joe i thought you were 5’2 till you said you were 6’1 🤝 love this concept i imagine myself in fights with wild animals all the time

  • @averylaughlin9305
    @averylaughlin9305 5 місяців тому +1

    33:39 😂😂😂Australia went to war with these bastards in 1932 AND LOST and you think you can win a fist fight with this war harden bird
    His comedy is getting better

  • @Teaganisthereasonweexistxo
    @Teaganisthereasonweexistxo 8 місяців тому +3

    Yo.. i think the octopus is you're twin Joe.. no way!!

  • @Ben_MC5
    @Ben_MC5 9 місяців тому +21

    Day 5 of telling Joe he’s so cute

  • @Meme_Capybara
    @Meme_Capybara 9 місяців тому +5

    Nah, id win

  • @ChainBreakingMenace
    @ChainBreakingMenace 9 місяців тому +2

    Just imagining Joe fighting a shark on land. Yknow just casually pulling up a chair sitting down, putting on some music.

  • @Elnidax
    @Elnidax 9 місяців тому +1

    The scary thing about giraffes isn’t their necks, they trample lions. Joe would get trampled in seconds lol

  • @MatthewDiaz-uh2ob
    @MatthewDiaz-uh2ob 9 місяців тому +15

    Under one century gang 👇

  • @GodVR1800
    @GodVR1800 9 місяців тому +6

    The vegan teacher be like😱😱

  • @ilyyCREA
    @ilyyCREA 9 місяців тому +18

    doing a push up for every like this gets 😂😢

    • @Lukemp1771
      @Lukemp1771 8 місяців тому +3

      Like bait

    • @mr_kos287
      @mr_kos287 8 місяців тому

      ur ass wont do a single one 😂😢

    • @Cybrsp6
      @Cybrsp6 8 місяців тому

      Wtf is a push up?

    • @mr_kos287
      @mr_kos287 8 місяців тому

      @@Cybrsp6 when you push upwards or smth

    • @rumpope
      @rumpope 8 місяців тому +2

      @Cybrsp6 it’s where you put one hand on the ground then put your other hand like a foot to the right and then stretch your back fully out and put your feet in in the same way as your hands and then push up and then push down to like have a foot above the ground.

  • @andreasjohansson5556
    @andreasjohansson5556 7 місяців тому +2

    Orangutans' strength is estimated to be five to seven times that of a human. They can lift up to 225 kilograms (500 pounds), more than twice their body weight. Their grip strength of approximately 270 kilograms (600 pounds) allows them to navigate the high canopies with ease.
    And u place it on 20% but chimps on 0% :P

  • @fernandez9775
    @fernandez9775 8 місяців тому

    Saw the thumbnail and appreciate that we men just universally agree that we CAN defeat a Lion in a fist fight

  • @yiiyo
    @yiiyo 9 місяців тому +4

    0 views in 3 years bro fell off hard

  • @theomgguy5911
    @theomgguy5911 8 місяців тому +1

    21:16 Id say either 20% or 0%, think about the fact many domestic dogs have enough bite force to tear limbs off, then imagine a wolf. Its not fed, it hunts, good stamina and speed, etc.

  • @JDT0801
    @JDT0801 7 місяців тому +2

    I’m going straight for the eyes on every single one of em😂

    • @SeifEldeen-r7p
      @SeifEldeen-r7p 6 місяців тому

      That still wouldn't help against any of the 20% and the 0%

    • @Melvin-nt9xu
      @Melvin-nt9xu 6 місяців тому

      @@SeifEldeen-r7pit would definitely help against the shark but you probably lose a leg or life C:

  • @SorryThisUserIsTaken
    @SorryThisUserIsTaken 9 місяців тому

    Fly high joe, we will all remember you🕊️

  • @fbiagent3998
    @fbiagent3998 7 місяців тому +1

    Some extra information on the wolf: a wolf's bite force is 1,200 psi on average. For comparison, a pitbull's is around 200-300 psi and grizzly bear has around 1,160 psi.

    • @Melvin-nt9xu
      @Melvin-nt9xu 6 місяців тому +2

      Psi doesn’t mean much like hyena has stronger bite force than a lion. But does it tho? Just search up Tasmanian devil bite force.

  • @michealsanders743
    @michealsanders743 5 місяців тому

    I can't believe I watched this whole video but it was freaking hilarious a lil bit delusional but mostly more realistic any man would think lmao

  • @seemoreplays9834
    @seemoreplays9834 9 місяців тому

    Imagine not having the last 43 Joe Bart vids watched in a row

  • @rupeshchhantyal8996
    @rupeshchhantyal8996 2 місяці тому

    Bruh underestimating Kangaroo 😂

  • @user4hq
    @user4hq 9 місяців тому +1

    "Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth." - Mike Tyson

  • @TheProphetShia
    @TheProphetShia 8 місяців тому

    I’m actually crying from laughter 😭😭😂

  • @UphillBridge
    @UphillBridge 4 місяці тому

    Not the chat saying stage hazard off on the crab 💀💀😭