Narcissist Relationship - Dealing with Anger after a Breakup
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- Опубліковано 6 тра 2019
- #mentalhealth #stephanielyncoaching #narcissisticabuse #emotionalabuse #selflove
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Stephanie
www.StephanieLynLifeCoaching.com
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I am in this phase and though I don't want him anymore,I'm so angry at what he did to me. There's day I cried for a whole day...makes me feel better!!
Same situation for me. It's like an emotional rollercoaster.
me too. I'll never go back but I do still get angry sometimes out of the blue
I am angry at mine too @ChristinaBelta But the thing is that I shldnt have to be. I am doing all I can to cooperate with her and we have kids together but I can't avoid arguing all the time over stupid shir bcz we have kids together and so if she's in one of her moods then she threatens to take the kids, or go to the police 🚔 or take my life hell...always walking on eggshells I think I mite need counseling or some type of help
Same💔
We’re not being loved and we know it. It feels horrible until we do something different. I’m 2 weeks out. I’m so f’ing pissed! Yes, at me.
I was dumped by my narcissist in January , we were together for ten years have a farm together , prior to the break up no I was with a narcissist. He left for a much younger woman that he had an affair with , to say I'm angry is an understatement. I lost 70 pounds since January and I'm turning to counseling and videos like this to help cope 😩 the betrayal is real and the anger and ego are hard to get past so thank you for videos like this .
how are you now?
Crying. I've never let myself feel anger in the past even when I was abused. Now up came a covert narcissist it seemed he was, and unaware at the time,and he toppled me over and I hate myself for it . I still try to suppress my anger, but having an anger moment at the moment. I know it's because of pain sadness and grief... and self blaming and letting him get away with so much, still missing him, and don't feel like I've got to the bottom of it all was it his fault my fault, and if it was I feel like I can't forgive myself as I couldn't be enough to be loved by the one person that meant the most to me, to be heartless, and disguard me in such a way. So done trying
I remember feeling the most anger at myself after my last break up, I felt angry that I was still so cut up over someone months down the line & couldn’t move on, I felt stupid.
Your videos helped me so much at the time. You made me realise it was completely normal & okay for it to take time to heal. Excellent video 💖
Same 🙌. Still feel angry at myself for that. I know how people would condemn me and blame me if I still spoke of how I was struggling nearly 2 years down the line afterwards with the whole psychological after math. People say "Forget and move on" but I want to scream shut up you dont know the first thing I'm going through. And secondly they want to try to convince you like it was an ordinary breakup and you are only "heartbroken" or mad because you are overly sensitive and still thinking of this person mearly because you are heartbroken and gotta stop and find someone else. Try to explain to novices. What they also dont know is before mr covert narcissistic came along I had divorced from an abusive relationship before with kids etc lost my dad as a kid etc, yet nothing (aside one other thing..*) tipped me over the edge with a covert narcissistic just for nearly six months. Yes, and people go "only". So no it's not because I was just heartbroken (ie been divorced know how that feels) or just grief (lost my dad) etc... this somehow got to my core, and he flicked me over. The silent strong woman who went through so much fell. Among other things, I was bed bound ill for months after this, night terrors , in a state of shock and trauma, and I was still a single mum facing adversity at the time by myself! So yeah, took a year and half to not consistently cry daily etc so I guess the process is and has been slow for me to this point, but I couldn't have pushed it if I wanted to to be quicker in hindsight if I tried! (And believe me I demanded it of myself and was hard because of other people's standards and my own and what I expected of myself and how I thought in comparison to the past to my ability to suppress and bounce back) I hated myself for it, and tend to hide the timeframe of events (obviously not now) of how long, as to have comeback as to why it's taking so long "your weak" or not normal, or downplaying your past if I couldn't bounce back from something so simple as "only a breakup" see what a weak wimp you are. For you and I and all must remember now to believe in our own perception and feelings of events even if nobody believes or understands. Greatful to have these channels as validation on our journeys. Much hugs.
I totally agree perfect same here
Coaching Thank You Stephanie.
Am angry with my self for staying so long. Still not sure if its over. And angry with them for trying to stay(use me) everytime i try to leave.
Perfectly timed. I’m so over it (aka never wanna see them again) and I’m moving on but not from the anger I feel over what happened and what he did. I didn’t feel this kind of anger in my previous break ups, just sadness and then goodwill for the future. But this anger, I was just so shocked at what happened how he treated me etc.
I can relate
With you
I am known as
Being very kind
Now I'm afraid
Of even letting
Anyone
Know how I feel
So Angry
He took
75000
And a nice
Boat ibought
I'm so mad
At myself
The injustice makes me angry.I don't get back to "sadness" from there.After putting up with abuse for many years then the "flying monkeys" accept the abuser without question when they know I'm telling the truth.Thats where my anger lies.
Every time I am forced to communicate with him (we have kids) all the anxiety , hatred, and anger returns. I wish more than anything I could go no contact.
My husband left me 6 months ago after 21 years of marriage. We owned a construction company together, which I invested all my time, energy and health to, even though I was against buying it. I supported him in everything, he never supported me. In fact, my health got bad and I was hospitalized 3 times and that’s why he left me. My only daughter moved 16 hours away for college. He gets the business, we lose our house and he’s been unfaithful for 5 years (that I know of). So I lost my husband, my daughter (not literally but her living so far away broke my heart), my job, my business, my home and two of my best friends as I was too depressed for them. Trust me, I know all the stages and it’s a cycle. I am starting back to grief now and I have zero motivation to even try. But I have my faith and my true friends and family. The best revenge is being happy or at least trying to be happy. If you try, you stop focusing on the bad things and instead focus on “revenge” (your happiness). It’s not easy. But it’s worth it. Don’t ever let someone steal your will to be happy. Shine like a star! 💫
I hope things become amazing for you! You sound like an amazing person and deserve all the happiness in the world
watch/listen to sheraseven1 here on YT. I wish you all the best as you heal
Oh thank you for every word you wrote and I had same kind of experience and I am trying as much as I can to be strong and happy.
You are amazing and a wonderful inspiration on here 🙌💗
Stephanie Lyn Coaching 🙏🌹Thank you also Stephanie , I owe you my happiness my made me understand myself and become a better person❤️your lover from Egypt
I learned that anger is depression turned outwards. Thank you Stephanie Lyn for all of your videos. They're very inspiring and any information you provide is phenomenal. Coming out of a year-and-a-half narcissistic/trauma bond relationship is one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life. 😔
The best thing to do is reflect on the relationship and remind yourself of all the bad things they done .
I know everyone is entitled to their own problems no matter how big or small but PLEASE consider your self lucky if you dont have any children with a narcissist ex, or any ex for that matter. You get to walk away with a clean slate. Start over. Move on. Especially if you find it hard seeing your ex because you still have love and you were the one who was dumped and left. Everything is that much easier when you never have to see the other person ever again. Your wound can heal.
Anger is sadness & disappointment
Antidote:
1. Taking responsibility for your part as a willing participant in the relationship
2. Validate your feelings & take responsibility for how you are feeling. Put your ego aside & CHOOSE how you want to feel (respond) by parenting yourself (logical/ rational talk)
3. Play a new tape in your mind
It feels like my narcissists life is coming together after he totalled leveled mine. It's hard not to be bitter about it. But I know I need to move on.
After you break up with some people because they were doing you very wrong, they come back for revenge. They try to manipulate your world and control you to make themselves look good at the cost of your well being. When you put your foot down, they try to say that it is anger about a break up. No, it is anger about the physical and mental harm you intended to cause to make yourself, and your new partner look good.
Very well said and it is true at times.
Your channel has taught me so much. Thank you for teaching me the emotions and behaviors I never knew to exist. I've become a better me inner core. You are my angel. Thank you, please keep these coming. Life-changers.
Controlling manipulation and intimidating video if you will please. And Getting over past abuse. These are good ones too.
Yes, there is so much to learn! I feel that it is an ongoing process. Videos like these are amazing! Just keep learning and growing
Thanks love! So glad you are gaining some insight 🙌
@@StephanieLynCoaching No thank you! But you are most certainly welcome☺
The narcissistic friend not my friend anymore said he want to be my roommate and think I'm his best friend. But he never pay me back. The narcissistic guy who gets mad easily and doesn't have a job and live on disability welfare and he can't control he anger and wants attention and he called every single guys ugly only find himself attractive and he think he the smartest student in school and he always skip school and he doesn't go to college or have a job he living with he parents sitting at home on disability welfare and he have angered management to deal with he also make fun of the shy guy because his Asian and he always judge people about how ugly the guy can get a girlfriend and he think he dress the best . Also he said he got sponsor in a sport to pay he fee and he said he was going to travel to Germany for a sport to live there for a year and he lied he doesn't show me the plane ticket and he said that Germany got a wildfire as a excuse everyone search online there was no wildfire. And last thing he did was he stole my friends money and other friend witness it and the narcissistic friend make an excuse saying he have mental disability see things that is not real as an excuse so he can get away with the money. I doubt that he will pay the rent. He also say that he drives a motorcycle but he doesn't show everyone how to drive it and show he licence. He always call me and my friend immature and tell us to grow up.
I was just saying this yesterday! It is completely my responsibility to take care of my anger and emotions.
I don't want to stay in the victim's mood. It still hurts but I choose to feel relief. I choose to recognize I have no control over someone else actions. I tend to blow over stuff and not deal with it I think.
when i get hurt, i get angry to an unhealthy level. i usually get so angry where i feel like i need to punch a wall or something, i need to control this
That was so helpful to be reminded about the value of validating our feelings, yet not to hang onto blaming the other person for their wrongs but to be healthy & to move forward 😌
Yes!
The abuse I suffered gave me PTSD and depression, I don’t feel angry.
I didnt either... it came much much later down the line in short spurts (going through the motions of realisation and grieving process. Another part at one point of handling it was detachment. We each handle it differently when we try to figure it out or cope (or lack thereof) with it. Some might never feel the bits of anger, only severe trauma or depression, and of ill health etc. Our past, body mind makeup, acts differently to trauma, but mostly all with a collective of a range of similar symptoms I guess. Just saying my view, I'm no doctor. But if you are going through still the trauma and depression of narcissistic abuse like me, I send you my compassion and I hope you heal well ❤
@@evemichael3850 Thanks for your kind words Eve and for sharing your experience. I’m 4 years no contact, still fairly traumatised and have had no desire to start dating again. I honestly don’t know how to fix myself, I had a brief go with therapy but they just didn’t really understand NPD properly. I don’t know if time is the best healer though.
@@torqueofthedevil8145 I'm abit afraid to say anything because I wish I had some right words or solution or abit of hope to make you feel better right now, but I dare be so arrogant or bold. But you go you badass little rebel you! You've gone through 4 years and survived it so far! I've only gone through 2 years and feel wiped, but tbh there is no gains in comparing pain, each are unique to their own experience and valid. I quote from another video I watched this guy relay his narcissistic healing journey and its snail pace etc it took, and he said something to the effect that if you remember just after it happened until now, there has definitely been a change, one must admit no? even it's hard to see it at all along the way. Its pretty normal I'm assuming for this type of abuse to take extra long to heal, it's the beating yourself up for it that doesnt help I guess and it's quite normal for heavens sake to want to be free already from this pain! I'm too scared (among other things) to date too, but it's our mind/body trying to keep us safe so its expected to feel that way. Also I've heard in other vids how important to find a therapist that understands npd and one feels safe and resonates with. Easier said than done. I'm doing it on my own atm. But I did way back a couple of months after it I paid to see a private kinda counselling with a lady I saw, and I feel in a way indebted and saved my life by putting me on the right path by telling me to research what narcissistic abuse was!. Me personally I've lost all trust in mainstream therapists and authorities and religious systems and people who used to be close to me, also family... as I have been narcissisticly and have been emotionally or physically abused through them too it scares me. Now I feel like an outcast misfit constantly asking myself where I went wrong and how I could fit into society again, which god knows I only tried to do the best in the situation and was innocent but end on deaf ears. But I digress and I know I'm not going into details, but I guess I put myself so small throughout my life that I took so much abuse and made myself small. And although I hate bigging myself up before others, we must remember we too are human beings that deserve love and fair treatment and deserve not to be mistreated or talked down unfairly at minimum. I feel I'm struggling to break through the self worth thing, and I find it hard to point the finger and say he is a narcissist he is wrong, I didnt deserve to be treated that way. I still feel like I love and miss him. In part I guess we want to prove that we are worthy of love. The love we gave, the dream we lived can never be true. That and also later this same person we loved and adored their smile etc ending up saying and treating you in ways so unacceptable but wasnt able to see it at the time.. and is it me etc. We know the trap, but we keep falling back and forth. I'm not sure about you but I found he blew all my old traumas our of the water especially at the shock of disguard, if you can relate. Which left a whole lot of new traumas and depression I thought I kinda left in the past..came to life larger than life. I guess with emotional abuse 'the body keeps the score' - (heard it's a good book, but havnt read it) but it's kinda true I guess. We gotta try finding ways to override it by making ourselves feel safe again, way more gentle and compassionate to ourselves, and feel less shameful to say no and making boundaries despite the discomfort deep in the pit of our hearts that we might be upsetting someone else by doing so. Lol, I was crying my eyes out just before and now look at me preach lol. But we're only human. But after 4 years of hell of recovery I do hope somehow things get even more better swiftly and find happiness, and comfort. I can just wish it, I dont know how or for sure about anything myself. Anyways much hugs, soz if this was a long wramble, minimally all I hoped it helped. Lots of self love, take care. X
Tuesdays are my favorite days! This is GOLD🙌🏻
He just left me without even talking to me. He just cut me off. I’m so angry at him! He betrayed me!
Same 💔
Stephanie, to be completely honest and forward about how I feel, you're like the mother I never had.
Oh thanks love 👍
Ohhh well I am so glad the videos are helping and they are giving your guidance 🤗
Thank you
So much
For your
Video
I have been
In such horrible
Despair
Wasted 39
Years of my
Life
Cant afford
To waste
Anymore😢😢
Im getting old
I pray To have
Real Love
Before i die❤
I really have to thank you. I've been watching all your videos after my ex wife left me out of nowhere. I told her it wasn't what I wanted. She moved out very quickly and now I'm a single father. She is basically a babysitter. All we did was fight and I always asked her what it was about ME that was so annoying to her. After watching your videos, I realized she is a textbook narcissist. I realized anytime I refused to play her games, fight her, or let myself get mad and I set boundaries, it would lead to very angry behavior on her part. She asked my why I wouldn't fight her. After I set these boundaries it only took about a year later and she left. I do not even recognize her anymore. It's the strangest thing I've ever experienced. And your videos helped me. She has moved on already. And it hurts bad. But I know see its because she couldn't steamroll me anymore.
You have no clue how much I needed this. You present this info in a simple way that's easy to apply immediately. Thank you so fucking much!
I have heaps of anger directed at myself for the way I behaved. The more I learn about personality disorders, the more I realize I exhibited a lot of those behaviors. I am really trying to forgive myself but I'm so angry over what I did. She left me for someone else and exhibited some narcissistic traits, but I am still pining for her after months and months and months. I have been working on myself for a long time with workbooks and practicing mindfulness and therapy, and all I want is to show her that I am not the monster she thinks I am, but I'll never get that chance because she was over the relationship before she even left, and moved on/monkeybranched to a new relationship.
I’m so angry at him now that I know what it all was. I’m glad I unknowingly started to feel something was wrong before I got in too deep. The discard was brutal for me being his “queen” and “love” of his life smh. Looking forward to healing.
Thank you Stephanie! I really needed to hear all this at this moment in my life. Thank you again for the videos!
Oh my godess this is EXACTLY the stages im in, thank you so much!!!! you are the best for me there is, i connect highly to the things you say and try everyday to work on this things
I’m in this phase too.
I’m so glad!!
I came across your channel months ago & I'm sooo grateful I did. Your coaching is a huge blessing in my life as I am still dealing with toxic relationships. Thank you for your videos, they really are having a positive impact as I can see here, in many of our lives! 🙏🏽❤😊
I needed this. My breakup turned me into an angry bitter person. I was strong enough to realize that knew I needed to do something to change that bit wasn't sure where to start. Now I know!
Really helpful content, and v interesting comments. It’s soothing to read that other people are in a similar boat to mine, and my heart goes out to you all. I got totally blindsided by ignoring the red flags. It’s happened twice now. I’m so happy at my new strategy: just be friends first for several months, and look out for any form of manipulation or dishonesty. With some people they literally can lie and a professional couldn’t tell the difference. Still dealing with the anger of being fed lies and believing them, but hay, I’ve met someone really nice recently and I am so much more aware of what constitutes a good person. Just going to take it mega slow, focus on making myself happy in general. Good luck out there in the jungle y’all!
Thank you Stephanie. This was exactly what I needed to hear and gain understanding on. Thank you for being a part of my journey. You are so great and I’m very glad you decided coaching. The thousands of people you reach is truly a blessing.
The work you do helps so many people. Keep it up!
Thank you!
currently i would like to tell him how he treated me, cuz i was so weak when i talked to him i was kind of validating his feelings instead of seeing myself as a strong person, and actually i get all the responsibilitz and he is not even sorry or stood in front of me telling what and how happened, he validates himself and he is the victim, i cant belivev he is such an a--hole.
Finally this is the video I really needed. Thank You.
Very helpful video. I was definitely falling into the anger/ego trap today and this helped me realize that I am really just sad because of expectations that I had held. I feel like now I have another tool to work with.
This is actually what made me discover you. I thought something was really wrong with me and was/am a narcissist myself. No longer able to be creative and exercise. Obsessiveness, anger (pride), vindictive (wanting to hurt back) and all those negative emotions. You really put me back on track. Thank you.
Thank you Stephanie! I love your videos! I tried to handle my separation from a higher place for a really long time but my husband could not join me in that and because I kept trying to roll with the punches and rise above his bad behavior towards me I ended up taking a lot of emotional abuse I should not have accepted. So I had to lower myself down to his level and get down in the mud with him to show him he couldn't push me around. After 21 months of being treated like crap I am now beyond my point of no return with him. Fed up to the max. Have zero desire to have any contact with him anymore. Unfortunately I have to because of our daughter. I've watched your videos for a while now and they're very helpful. I know when the time is right I will rise above again.
Stephanie I feel your videos are a full reflection of what has happened to me I want to thank you so much for your advise. After watching your videos I feel so much more confident. I was married to someone who was a complete narcissist and now I understand why she was doing what she was doing. I understand everything now. I never imagine I would end up with a person to be this way. Thank you so much for your videos please keep doing what you doing all my best wishes. I am sure you are helping a lot of people.
Thank you, Stephanie.
You explain emotions so clearly.
You’re really helping us,THANK YOU ❤️
Thanks beautiful Lyn, I've been stuck in anger, bitternes and sadnes for 15 years but it has been difficult for me to know how to try to move on. Thanks for all you give us!
Another great video! You are so insightful and forth coming. Much love, sister.
Excellent Stephanie you nailed it! Choosing not to be stuck. Thank you again for your generous insight to help us all who are sad with the outcome of our break up
Choosing not to be stuck is a huge step!
Thanks Steph. Once again I went into your library of videos and listened. I started to think of his anger and started to wander from the work. I felt so alone and victimized and staying stuck. My friends would say she’s “stuck in cement” through work and listening to these videos and podcast I am doing the work and finding the new dream. And working for the dream. I have setbacks but I am human and we all make beautiful mistakes. Thank you so much for your inspiration. 💕🤓
I think all of your videos can be used in every day life and situations. And your videos have really helped me to move past the anger and bitterness that was eating me from inside when it came to my husband’s ex wife. And it’s really taught my husband and I how to let go and just deal with the fact that she is who she is and things will probably never be peaceful but giving us tools to do deal with that. I look forward to Tuesday so much! The things you teach are amazing and truly help. Keep making a difference in people’s lives and thank you for that!
Thank you so much! I am so happy to hear the videos are helping!
Thanks so much for your advice. You have changed my life.
Thank you, Stephanie! I am learning so much from your videos. I wish you all the best!
Same to you 🤗
This was very helpful, THANK YOU!
Stephanie you are a gem I love you're videos, learning how to master your emotions is the key to maintaining a happy peaceful life God bless you.
Yes mastering our emotions and becoming unstuck!
This is gold Stefanie you need to keep some of your secrets to yourself I thank you so much because it's so true personal responsibility is the key to freedom!
Resentments can kill. Step 4.
I really will use this now. Thank you so much. Very powerful, all your videos are great tools in my healing. ❤❤❤
This is excellent. Thank you so much for this. I'm going to listen to this multiple times.
I used to be sad that she left me. but now i cry out of anger to think the only person who knows my weakness and the real me whom i thought would love me unconditionally, left me for my weaknesses. and seek happiness somewhere else only a month after she left me. 9 years together now she treats me like a trash. how is that even possible, its like i never even exist. it makes me so angry. i cant explain it
Just came here to say THANK YOU!!! Very good info to help me heal! Your coaching has helped me so much, I wish I could afford private coaching because you’re awesome! Thank you thank you!!! ❤
Neutral honest assessment. Good job. It’s not just men or women it’s both
I love your videos. Great advice all the time. I wish I could afford your coaching but at least I cam watch your videos. Thank you!
You have taught me so much thank you , it really opened my eyes to alot of things
this was a very good and helpful video, thankyou
Excellent work.
So helpful right now. Thank you.
Is being almost 2 months i find myself angry because i was so good to her this grieving process is brutal but i have faith things will get better
I recognize I was in narc abuse, I know what was done to me wasn't normal. why do I keep talking to him? its trauma bond I know this but it just doesn't stick in my head when he draws me back in! its almost like an illness!
Jan K you deserve better. Cut it cut it. Love yourself more. If he can’t see your worth you need to see it for yourself. All the best!
Cut it, I’ve just been through similar v recently. Life is soooo much better elsewhere, there ARE good loving healthy warm beautiful caring people off the other ended (or same) who are hot as hell on the inside and are just brilliant romantically, brought me so much warmth when I needed it
Love your videos Steph they are so helpful. Thank you so much
You are so welcome!
I just came across your video. I’m so so angry at myself at him. I don’t know how to deal with this. 😭 I’m really upset with myself for allowing myself to have hope this go round. I left him and I will never speak to him again. Thank you 🙏🏼❤️
Thank you this was very helpful
Hi Stephanie, i have so much to say but would like in private. You explain things like you know my ex-wife, and that's a credit to you because after 16 years you are putting the pieces together, and i already can see the bigger i didn't see. I think i need for the first time in my life, help. I have just been released from prison for the first time for lies i never committed. My life has come to a stop. You seem to have answers that are giving me hope and make sense. I would put my life on the line for her or my family, i never in a million years would do or say the things that her partner and her have accused me of. Thanks for doing what you do, even though it's your field, it takes passion and your heart has got to genuinely be in it to understand the in's and out's of these situations, good on you.
Yes yes yes. I was thrown all kinds of talk and them acting like they truly wanted ME. Talk is so misleading and unfair. He pretended I was his ONLY focus. I GOT PLAYED. Next thing you know he's tagged with some girl on a date. He made sure to gaslight, and pretend it was my fault after calling him out. I created the fantasy and dream in my head, but he was a part of it. It's mean. So, time to heal, be smarter and lose this anger. I was ragey for two days at myself..for feeling incredibly stupid for falling for it.. which is ok. Moving onward✌️♥️💔
You're so sweet, I'm glad I watched this. So right about the ego part. I entered the grief process better equipped than I ever have been for any break up, it's been 30 days. He was violent and hardcore verbal abusive, but also a huge amount of deep care, shame and longing on his part to heal. I've been participating in all my emotions, esp as I had to supress so much, but also I want to grow out of my avoidant attachment style. I've had incredible insights but just after I had a profound shift a few days ago, it's like a really immature teenager has taken over my brain and the whole blame loop is playing and taking me backwards - taking me nowhere. SO, thank you for the reminder! It would be good to know, how long is "stuck" for a 4yr relationship?
We must learn to heal and get unstuck from the sadness and disappointment which lie at the bottom of our anger. And we must give ourselves consistently good talk and a lot of time and patience to recover from the terrible experience of an abusive relationship or relationships.
Just discovered your videos today. After binge watching and hoping for clarity about my possibly narcissistic partner, I find myself wondering if the narcissist is me! I can see many of the traits you describe here distributed between us. What concerns me most is that all of this time, I had no clue. I also have a daughter; the possibility that I could be a narcissistic mother is crushing.
just know that this horrible feeling you are having is evolutionary and your body is looking out for you. this too shall pass. ❤
Thank you ♡
thanks steph.
i felt lost before watching the video..thankyou
Thank you for all the video. I check every Tuesday and read all the comments. Can you touch on the narcs who alienate children?
Yes I will put it on my list.
@@StephanieLynCoaching thank you so much. Your videos always help.
Very helpful
Hmm I thought this video was going to be about your partners anger... My ex and I broke up after 4 years and we have been living together. After we broke up he got really disrespectful and even physically abusive and I was just hiding in my room. I ended up calling the police and they came, and the next day he left. He hasn't come back and it's been almost a week now. I was really upset that we broke up at first, but I've been realizing how much crap I've been putting up with and I'm relieved. Your channel has helped me a lot Stephanie.
For me...this affair is in my face!!! I work with the ex narc boyfriend...and I’ve always felt that he is dating my co-worker!!! I stayed on this crappy job for 8 yrs because of him and me wanting to be with him 😥 I had a chance to get back with him, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it for nothing 😥!!!
Your messages are so similar to the Buddha messages and mind control!!! Your mind really is what’s powerful!!!
I literally just broke up w my narc boyfriend of 1 yr yesterday and it was crazy tough. He said I won't find another person that will deal w me. I feel more sad than angry because I know I could've told him know the true reason I wanted to remove myself. Which is because it was too much emotional dysfunction and toxicity.
It's projection. It's really got nothing to do with you. And none of us are perfect - yes it's not ideal but it's not a disaster... and even so, that's why we have to try and take responsibility to work on ourselves and to learn to care for ourselves and be the best and kindest people we can be - even when we think we are already okay, there's always room for improvement. These are traits that will not only encourage peaceful and togetherness in life, but I believe will ensure and decide who will survive and evolve and who won't, as living beings in the future.
The first days are the hardest hang on there is light. Practise lots of self love!!
2 days into a breakup myself..Peter Pan and me finally had to stop. Still it's hard. Positive self talk and keeping a structure to my day is helping.
I had a much shorter 2 month online involvement with a narc person. So the impact on me was not as damaging as many of the victims I'm reading about who ended up staying with these roaches for years. My heart goes out to all these people and I hope they'll get over their pain. My story: After this narc sexually harassed me, I maintained my boundaries and that's what ticked them a lot, until I finally left because I was done with how boring and cold they actually were.
My way of dealing with the anger phase: Take a page. Write a bunch of painful things you wish would happen to them. Use cuss words, drawings, whatever helps you express it. For the next 5 days, everytime you feel angry, read this page. After 5 days, burn it. The catharsis helped me a ton lol.
Thank you
For your
Advice
Your wisdom
I know this was
4 years ago
But my despair
Is now
And i googled
Help for
Getting rid of
Anger and
Accepting
Failure
You honey
Popped up
Thank You
Im saving
This video
To rewatch
Over and Over❤
I feel so much argerness after breakup. Then I almost get over it and thought that I healed and agreed to meet with my ex after 3 months of no contact. And him being late as always evoke that anger again so much so after we met I blocked him everywhere. But this anger didn’t pass😣
After 7 years of raising not only her son for the first 7 years of his life but also the sun we had together for the first 6 years of his things really started getting ugly between us and I told her I didn't care what she did to me or what she said to me that I would suffer through all the misery she dealt out to me just to stay in the lives of those two boys on a daily basis until they had both reached the age of 18 because I grew up without my father around and I've promised myself as a teenager that if and when I ever had children I would never willingly walk out of their lives. She knew that I was serious and that no matter how miserable she attempted to make me I wasn't going anywhere so she filed a TPO falsely accusing me of having pushed one of the boys we went to court and she began crying in front of the judge saying she feared for the safety and well-being of herself and the children and the judge ordered that I was not allowed to see or speak to her or the kids for a year it has been 6 months since I've seen or spoken to my two boys I missed their birthdays too afraid to even send them a card for fear she would have me arrested for violating the TPO I've missed Father's Day my birthday and Halloween. The sadness hit me first then the guilt that maybe I could have been better and done things differently now it is anger and rage an anger and rage that I have never felt before towards anyone or for any reason in my life an anger that scares me at times and what makes it so much worse is that over the course of our relationship she had alienated me from all of my friends I don't have family close by and I don't have friends anymore I'm alone 99% of the time these days I spend hours upon hours talking out loud to myself as if I'm speaking to other people like they are right beside me I don't know if it's a coping mechanism because I'm alone all the time or if I'm going insane but even in public when I'm surrounded by people I'm still walking around talking to myself out loud and I don't care that other people hear me and look at me like I'm crazy. What I do care about is those two boys who are both autistic and all they know is that their daddy is not there anymore I don't know what she has told them they may think that I hate them and I just left and abandoned them I know she doesn't remind them that their daddy loves them in fact I'm sure they are scolded if they even mention me and they're probably been told that I'm a bad guy or a monster the last time they saw me I was packing my stuff or the police officer standing there and escorted out of their lives. Unfortunately instead of Georgia and unmarried father has no rights to his children until he goes through the courts has them legitimized and then goes through the custody battle I know that I will never have any rights to the older boy as I am not his biological father but I am the only father he has ever known as for my son I've been there since the day he was born I'm on the birth certificate I've signed the parental acknowledgment agreement but I still do not have any rights whatsoever to him until I go to court and fight at which point even though I have him legitimized that will only mean I will be legally responsible for child support but it does not guarantee me any custodial rights or even visitation that's up to the judge. I hurt for the boys but there is not a word to describe the anger and rage I feel towards her I do not want to keep feeling this way. I keep telling myself once the anger has eaten me alive from the inside out I will then be inside the anger right side out and have my chance to eat my way out that will probably become a vicious cycle
I did more then enough. Sometimes no matter what you do these narcissists will move the goal posts. I like to spread the goal posts myself and score the field goal.
I actually did it too much. Wish I set healthy boundaries.
I am seeing Narc traits in everyone. Family, friends, colleagues. I keep wondering if it's me or is there any reality to this. So confused! 😭
I am angry with myself why I took this abusive relationship like this much. How can I let it go? I just left him a month ago & still sharing a flat. I don't want to be in victim mood! I'm telling myself "choose how I feel". Thank you! I am start doing that from today! Xx
Thanks...
In one of your videos you said that we need to show people how we want to be treated. What if we do say "no" but someone keeps crossing our boundries by saying we do not have a sense of humour even though what that person does is rude and manipulative. I am talking about a person who I work with. I
It wouldn't have mattered if I did less or gave even more. I have resigned to the fact that in today's world, 99% of people do not back up their partner, they focus on themselves, take, and ask for more.
My "anger" revolves around one way relationships. In my experience, no one and I mean no one, is going to back you up, help, or truly participate, regardless of your own efforts, intentions, or needs.
I feel anger and also hopelessness I keep beating myself down for my negative traits and can’t seem to move on when my ex has moved on from it. I keep thinking I’m toxic and doesn’t deserve another relationship. I am also angry at my ex what he said to me before the breakup
I'm pissed off because she cheated on me and didn't give a damn about it now I have a 🖤 I ignore her even tho we have kids together she makes me wanna puke
How do u begin to move on after 34 years of marriage. I was 15 when I met my husband and now I’m 53 only to be thrown away like garbage. I’m desperately asking him to go to counseling with me and he doesn’t meet me half way. Idk how to move forward mainly because I’m scared and don’t know what to do. He’s giving me the silent treatment and doesn’t want to help our marriage. I sit here quietly day to day because idk what to do first.
Hey Stepth, great video
I just wanted to know how to deal when you feel so betrayed and harmed and you still have to see this person everyday? I just don't know what to do at this point
This sounds like you have to practice self-soothing.
Me and my husband is living separately since 4 months.. after 4 years of abuse ,I decided I had enough.. I have a son who is one year old.. I'm really worried abt my son.. my husband behaves so well in front of others.. will he snatch my son from me .. by making my son believe lies abt me.. will my husband show a lot of dramatic love to my son so that my son will misunderstand me and leave me.. I have suffered a lot.. and I'm still suffering by hearing lies and twisted facts he spreads about me.. but if he turns my son against me , I don think I will be able to survive it..
Yeah I tent to end up in sadness vs anger.... last narcissistic relationship I ended, bcs once I got it I was out..
Still it took me alot to forgive myself ongoing some red flags, and took a trust in judging ppl or dating in itself.... but now finally at a point a year later where I am mostly at peace with it, my life so.much better without weekly fights thst not lead to any solution and and and.... its takes time, and I belive we learn every time and have a chance do not attracted similar again.... been my 2nd in many years appart... had normal man in between and long term... and a narcissistic stepmom.... beeing empathic and understanding for ppl circumstances can be a pitfall but over the years I learned that boundaries are great and that latest relationship reminded meits never ok to let someone talk me down ever, no matter where they come from or what hard childhood they had and lack of empathy.... I not avoid confrontations anymore, but let them happen to see how the possiable partner to be processes em... and judge from there....