i hated this || Crescent City Rant Review
Вставка
- Опубліковано 6 вер 2024
- stay inside and wash your hands and avoid alphaholes
~relevant info below~
Patreon
/ thebookpusher
PPL I PROBABLY FORGOT TO TAG
Chelsedollingreads
/ @chelseadollingreads
Hardback Hoarder
/ @hardbackhoarder
Ali Corvere
/ @ali_enchanted
Pages and Pens
/ @pagesandpens
Meltotheany
/ @meltotheany
Myreadingisodd
/ @myreadingisodd
RC Nekuthebooklocke
/ @booksfromabiguy
S U P P O R T M Y C H A N N E L
A M A Z O N W I S H L I S T
www.amazon.com...
TALK TO ME
I N S T A G R A M: / thebook_pusher
T W I T T E R: / thebook_pusher
G O O D R E A D S: / maddie-rosebrook
B U S I N E S S: maddie.rosebrook@gmail.com
OTHER INFO
Editing software: iMovie
All opinions are my own
“In this case size matters and this should be SMALLER”
Legit spit out my coffee when you said this. 😂😂
i just cant handle SJM's girth ok
You were spitting straight facts here.
100% agree with your criticism on how sex in stories just instantly turns it 'cheap' and 'not to be taken seriously'. I think your made a really great point about how this only applies to consensual sex. So many adult books include trauma or assault and it's perceived as fascinating, deep, layered, but when it's consenual and just for fun, suddenly it's cheap. What's up with that?
The Book Leo I didn't go into it as much in this video but if you look even deeper there are plenty of literary books where the male MC can be depicted having sex for pleasure and it doesn't cheapen the story....so how bout them apples...
ACOTAR: a YA series with WAY too much sex for a ya book
Crescent City: an ADULT book with no sex
Me: ........................um
ACOTAR is actually New Adult
AMEN
She really said sike you perverts 😭
@@natatavaresbocampagni9539 it was YA for 5 years before sjm changed it ( which is waaaaaay too long. It shouldn't have happened in the first place)
My favorite part of Maas is reading/watching the bad reviews.
Sarah J. Mess Love Interest Checklist:
1. Tattoos
2. Dark hair
3. Abs that are lingered on for way too long
4. Massive age gap with main heroine
5. Some kind of non-human species
6. Asshole personality
7. Fragile masculinity
I don’t know how you manage to keep reading this woman’s books, Maddie, I absolutely can’t stand them! But you’re doing the Lord’s work with these reviews. 😄
My sister is an editor and believe me they don't have that much control. She can send massive edits to her clients saying all the things you just said (which I totally agree with!) and in the end, it's up to them to implement them. Man, this book was tough getting through.
"I don't mind some dumb skankery, but I want my dumb skankery to be on the page" SUBSCRIBED.
*grinds to a halt* I’m sorry, did you say there was NO SEX in this book? That absolutely drops it waaaay far down the priority list. Thank you for doing the lord’s work.
you are absolutely welcome, friend.
Hahahaha. Same.
WAIT WHAT NO SEX!? I thought that was the whole point of her making it adult
SPOILER: It’s technically not true. FMC has sex with tons of randoms in the beginning. It doesn’t go into deep detail or anything. FMC and MMC get close tons of times and do some other things before they ever get to... I personally think waiting was good in this case, but that’s just me.
Sarah J Maas has been fun and it's not like I ever thought she was groundbreaking or innovative. Mostly cuz I don't think she was trying to be. I think she WANTED to write something fun but familiar and comforting to teenage girls.
But good GOD man almost twenty books later, I can't keep reading the same book from this woman.
i just wanted something?? better??
i actually loved her other books, ive read them all! I am SO disappointed in this book, like beyond words... what is this? this is like the FIRST DRAFT version and they published it.
I think that Sarah writes her book really lengthy due to the 'mass' in her name
(Btw....I loved your review)
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
"in this case, size matters"
I was eating a biscuit at that point and choked
I loved the book! For me, the sex (or lack of it) was no problem. I loved to read about Bryce and Danika's friendship. I have never read a book with such a powerful female friendship, and that makes this book very special to me. Also, I loved it was a long read so I could stay in the universe for as long as possible. But to each their own :)
I disagree with the part where you said that the story could have started with Danika and her pack dead instead so that the story progresses onwards quickly but then I guess Sarah's intention was to show us Danika's character and build some relationship with her. I mean, if Danika and the Pack of Devils died in the beginning, basically we wouldn't understand why Bryce is affected so much (bcs we didnt see their relationship and how close they are beforehand). To each her own ig but I love your videos!
My theory is that because Sarah J Maas first published book (ToG) became such a hit she now thinks that she can write books and doesn't have to evolve or learn shit as a writer. I've tried to read both ToG and Acotar and I just couldn't finish. Girl writes like a 14-year old does with fanfiction.
i was so hyped for this book and i'm trying to get through it but oh my god there are so man unnecessary things! she'll start explaining something and mid-paragraph my brain has gone to sleep. she was the most powerful, he was the most powerful urgh please stop
800 pages!?! For a first book in the series? HECK NO! Having such a lengthy book for a first in a series is a big no no for me.While I haven't read her books, I don't think I'll be picking up her books anytime soon.
yeah for the first book it was over the top convoluted to get that page count.
Did I just hear she has a hyena that can teleport?
Maddy, what are u reading?
SJM books
I kinda think the sex wasn't quite there bc of the meme about how much sex she has in her books. Like the alpha-hole thing. Like she was saying fuck u, i know what im doing.
This book took me like two weeks to get through. To get my point across I read the priory of the orange tree which is 848 pages long in four days💀. I only liked two characters and one of them dies in the beginning😐(danika). People said Cresent City made them cry. I don’t think we read the same book. Hunt was such a boring character and Bryce forgave him so quickly like come on. And then she wanted to trade her life for his. I like the cat guy (adias or however you spell his name) who had only two lines more than I like hunt. ⚠️ spoiler ⚠️ fury and junipers relationship was so random to me like where did that come from. I think they left Viktoria (the wraith) trapped in that bottle under that sea to suffer for all of eternity even though they killed Micah? I think Sarah forgot about her. Also why was the whole “there’s a huge battle outside cresent city between magical beings and humans” normalised like human where literally slaves and being tortured and then they were painted in the bad light for wanting to fight for their freedom?😭😭also hunts backstory was way to complicated she could of simplified it way more
Late to the party, but I just read it!
I agree. The world building to me was soooo boring. It took so long to explain the most random facts about the world it takes place in that is got to a point where I was like... ‘I just don’t care about this world, please get to the plot’
Also to me, as a girl that partied ALOT in college, I found Bryces character difficult to relate to. I really felt no connection to her, and if she was IRL, we would not be friends. I guess I always stayed away from people who flirt to get what they want.
And during the entire book, I couldn’t get it out of my head why in the world was she tasked with a dangerous job of finding the murderer. A girl who was labeled by the ‘police department’ as a wreck less party girl who was much less experienced and also labeled as very weak by being half human who hadn’t made the drop when they have an extremely strong and powerful group that should be looking for the murderer instead.
I mean I know In the end it was all explained why she had to help but that really just felt like plot convenience to me.
Anyway! Long rant, but I won’t be picking up the second book.
Ahhh okay so I am halfway through this book on my kindle, I would quit it, but a friend insists the second half of the book is really good and so I am grudgingly continuing on. I paused your review at 2:32 (misogyny disguised as wokeness) because yes, absolutely! Already it’s really getting on my nerves. Complaining about the aggressiveness and possessiveness of the fae -and angels in this case - doesn’t diminish whatsoever from the fact that it’s clearly supposed to be their main appeal. Clearly their appeal to SJM as evident by all her other books. It’s really fucking pretentious. It’s like she went through good reads and picked out all the criticism of her male fae characters’ personality traits and *kept them anyway* in this new series, but was like “oh I’ll have the heroine complain about it constantly and I’ll change the main love interest from a fae to an angel. Problem solved” UM NO.
Just in case the rest of your review has spoilers though, gonna save to “watch later” and I will be back 🙃 👍
****edit Lol sorry if that’s not what you were even going to say in regards to the fake wokeness 🤦🏼♀️ Again, brb 🤪
I think her editors get paid to say, "Yes, Sarah!"
I just thought there was waaay too much going on. It honestly felt like 3 books shoved together. I can't possibly imagine what she will do in the next book as surely its all been done?
No wonder I was pissed, SJM is a fan of anime. Before you call me a weeb let me first point out the other. That hyena is a direct copy on the dog in seven deadly sins that a character known as King, a king among fairies has. Now now, this might be a stretch, but I kid you not I stand with pride saying the synopsis sounds oddly familiar, but that's for another time.
SJM is pretty known for getting 'inspired' by other works. In the jewels series theres literally a character called prythian, there are high lords... it's hella similar dang
Oh my gosh haha “you can’t have sex when both characters are enjoying themselves in fantasy” it’s like professor Maddie
welcome to my class. there is no SEX.
WHY DO I LOVE YOU YOURE BASHING MY FAVOURITE BOOK. Like I love you but I love this book and I’m torn.
So I was going to read Crescent City but just by seeing the SIZE OF THE BOOK I decided not to. The video itself just gave me legit reasons to skip that book.
yeah its a chonky boy
It feels like the amount of times "Each one darker than the last" gets used in fantasy literature is significantly more than it should be.
You can sum up a major part of the problems with Maas' books with one thing. She tells but never shows. Celaena is a badass assassin? Where? I can show you instances that counter that point. Feyre is a strong woman? When? Bryce is a skanky junky? Where? Oh, all of it happens off screen? Then why am I reading?
Lol also all my fantasy books have consensual fun smut. Guess I'm not getting published.
I think Maas lost her dignity when she made a YA novel parading as a fantasy actually just smut lmao
I feel like this book took so long to get anywhere? I literally wanted to give up with it and it wasn’t until the last few chapters that I felt really involved with the characters. But it shouldn’t take that long! No book should get more interesting 3/4 of the way through.
Not to mention the amount of times Bryce is going through a mental breakdown or she’s in some kind of turmoil and Maas just HAS to write about how great Bryce’s arse and curves look as she’s sobbing her eyes out. 🙄 why is she sexualising grief but gives us NO sex scenes in the entire book? Wtf lol.
the book was really stretched for page count and i don’t know why?? like it didn’t improve with more words at all.
omg, this video is so good that i've watched it twice. what about doing about tog to? like you did with nevernight, it would be awesome.
Yasmim Mahmud Kader I'm sure ToG will happen at some point. Stick around 😉
1000% agree while reading i kept thinking when is this going to end and it going and every time i thought it was leading to some sort of conclusion it just kept going. the book felt so long and so rushed at the same time like there were 3 books in one. though i do have to disagree on one thing to me hunt feels like tamlin. if that doesn’t say it all then i don’t know what will
I literally shouted "YES" multiple times throughout this review. Thank you for putting all my convoluted fangirl thoughts/disappointments into words.
im sorry 😭 i'm already finishing the book, and i kinda like it. very sorry and it's your opinion but it's not too bad ig
Your Intellectual Glasses are everything. 😂
Oh Sarah J. Maas. An author who got in with the dystopia/Twilight craze who can write (or is told to write) the same story over and over, yet horny teens who have no taste still buy her books because they don’t know anything that’s better 🤣
Honestly her books seem like they’re written by committee. It’s most likely a mix of her own limited writing ability and publishers telling her what will sell. I’d feel sorry for her but she’s writing horrible toxic characters so maybe not 🤷
Also gotta love her need to make every protagonist essentially an OP self insert who basically sits on their hands until the last minute where the story then pretends the character has “grown” in some way. Super powers doesn’t mean character growth, people!
i think she avoid sex scenes in this one so that we buy the second one
This review gives me the impression that this book is about characters from previous works reincarnated into a new setting. That and that SJM is trying to pander to NiceGuys for some reason.
Pour one out for Maddie's dignity.
Cate Dexter but not a full one cause there wasn't much to begin with 😂
@@alilbitmads I'll make it a half shot!
Finally! I don't know why people liked it despite the writing and the bad characters
@The Book Pusher can you suggest some serious with good plot and strong world building!
And how is the series darker shade of Magic and Ember Quartet
The whole point is that she isn’t really a “dumb skank.” I strongly disagree with getting rid of the buildup to the murder of Danika and the pack. It wouldn’t have had any impact. I really don’t think that’s why sex wasn’t on the page. She said some really raunchy things. It’s obviously going to happen in the next book. It would have been more unrealistic for them to do it during everything going on. Hunt isn’t an “alphahole” because he isn’t intimidated by bryces skills or her power further on.
Not gonna finish this video until I read the book but for now I will just say we have to stan this look
I don't know if I am more sad for the book not being good or happy because I get to watch your rant review lol 👌
Hallelujah! I love how effin honest this gal is! 😅 Thank you for this. You are awesome!
This video was my intro to your channel. Oh my goodness, I must now binge videos.
I only read 15% then chucked it in the DNF bucket. It was just annoying me! It’s slow, it’s long, a few words are repeated a lot and it was making me angry. And it’s tooooo descriptive and yet I still found myself confused and lost. I did not like it at all and I wish I could’ve returned it.
Weird times...COVID-19! Also, thank you for being awesome
Riven Lore thank you for being Great!
Just finished the book an hour ago and I’m SOOOOO disappointed CANT believe I wasted my time on it god damnnn. You described everything I’m feeling omfg just subscribed loved the video
Came for the rant review stayed because it was so well done 😂😂
But if they went straight into the danika and crew slaughter it wouldnt have been emotional, i do agree it was hard to get through the first few chapters but i appreciate the introduce danika and make you love her and kill her
Came here because I stopped myself at page 101 and just couldn't do it anymore. I love your review and confirms that I did the right thing by calling it quits.
I still find it weird and a little unnerving when I hear my name in a published book.
My name is Danica by the way
I had heard mixed things about SJM and her books over the last few years so when I tried to read this behemoth with an open mind, my efforts were met with the unexpected bombardment of world-building and characters where their actions are being told than shown for 200 pages before it was placed in my DNF pile.
For some odd reason (and I could be wrong, as this is pure speculation) I feel like SJM was trying to take a page from Leigh Bardugo with Crescent City.
LB is known for the Grisha trilogy and Six of Crows in YA, in which this world has received mixed reviews as well. LB gave the adult fantasy genre a chance with Ninth House, and it was favorably received by some, others not so much. Again, this is just my speculation as a reader.
Maddie, thank you for reading this book and providing an honest review. Your video definitely made my week, I look forward to seeing more from you!
TheSimpsonsfreak13 both Bardugo and Maas had their first forays into adult fiction slated for last year. I don't think Maas was chasing Bardugos coat tails but I do think that the quality of both books show who is the better writer even if both have flaws. 😬
Definitely! Each writer has their flaws, and it’s only by learning from them that they can improve their respective craft. If I may ask, how in the world did you get through all 800 pages of Crescent City?
TheSimpsonsfreak13 lol determination I knew I wanted to review it but dang the last quarter of the book really did NOT keep my attention at all
That’s some willpower! If I may ask, would you be able to make a recommendation for the YA fantasy series to check out? Due to the current world events, I’ve been summoned to the front lines with the rest of the medical field, so all I have to do in my spare time is read.
I do not know if you still enjoy reading about fairies in YA, there is one book I enjoyed about them. It’s called Song of the Dryad by Natalia Leigh, a UA-camr and indie author.
@@TheSimpsonsfreak13 i would recommend the cruel prince series if you havent read it by holly black. if you have read it then try thorn jack by katherine harbour its a bit ont the darker side but i really enjoyed it. And thank you for the rec im gonna check out her channel and book!
I despise this book wholeheartedly. I didn't actually care for the worldbuilding because I felt like Maas had just thought I'll throw in several different mythologies, a few synonyms and call it complex. (Also: as soon as they mentioned the Horn I knew this book was going the way of Buffy season 5 and the writer made Bryce both Dawn and Buffy, only y'know not a character.)
At this point my only question is... Why do people even keep reading Sarah J Maas's books when there are other better books in the same vein???
Unprofessional Critic hey Do you have any recommendations that are similar in genre?
Mad Laz The Fever series by Karen Marie Moning or the Guild Hunter series by Nailini Singh...she took inspiration from both and they are much better than this book.
Hailey Detterich is it a copy cat book though? I hate books that pretty much is taken from other authors because they have no sense of creativity themselves.
Unprofessional Critic what are the names of these books because there was only one other “Fae” book that I read besides SJMs that was decent the others were such trash that I stopped reading halfway through?
Ahhh. I get why so much of the adult urban fantasy I read is considered trash. There is consensual sex enjoyed by both parties. Good to know. 😂
ridiculousspider yup urban fantasy has a prevalent does of romance so *obviously* it shouldn't be taken seriously
I swear does SJM not have any other ideas
I loved this book but also I’m brand spanking new to adult urban fantasy. And also I see your point a lot. Damn lol the synopsis made me think we would be introduced to party girl Bryce. And I would have liked to meet to her. I’m kind of over “the virgin/ good girl”
Frickin' love your reviews, they're really funny and entertaining and I will watch you rip the bullshit out of everything, all day and any day. Nothing but love, hope the comment helps the algorithm!
Thank you so much!!
Instant Like:) Sorry I missed the premiere I didn’t get the notification
Sarah J. Maas needs to admit she just wants to write trashy smut and romance and publish erotica novels already, geez.
A court of Roses and Thorns was originally put in NA (new adult) section of bookstores but that genre is so under-utilized and not well marketed that they then put it with the YA genre. Maybe she decided to write a book towards adults again but this time toning done the sexual aspect so that it would be more likely to get taken seriously? Cause the last time she did it didnt go so well.
Bless you for getting through this. I read all of the ACOTAR series and it was a guilty pleasure of mine. I got halfway through this and simply *could not* continue. I didn't like the characters, I didn't like the world, or the plot, and the glacially slow burn is NOT what I signed up for. I won't be bothering to pick it up again.
you dodged a bullet my friend. the sequel manages to be much much worse.
I don't like writing sex, not my cup tea. I rather (if at all) build and teas, then cut to black and let the reader fill the gap if they wish... any feedback?
then i would not recommend any SJM books even this one....its got a lot of on page lust and sexy scenes though the characters never end up doing the do
I agree with you n ur points are pretty valid but I personally really loved the book😶
And yes Sarah does sorta make the males pretty similar....sadly.
I disagree with most of this because I enjoyed CC and the lack of “stuff” buuut I was wondering about with Syrinx suddenly lost the ability to teleport by the end of the book, like did she forget about that? 😅
i can’t finish it you can’t pay me to finish it
I just *finished* this book. It took me four months. I see a lot of reviews saying that they were emotionally destroyed by this book. Yes, this is true. It took me four month because of this. My emotion was uncontrollable rage.
I hate Bryce. Sabine is my favourite character because she's the only one who laid into Bryce. Fury was Danika's best friend. This book was too long. A lot of tell but no show.
I love this review. It is wonderful. It speaks about everything I disliked in this book. I still ended up finishing it and enjoyed it enough to read the next one when it comes out, but it was so disappointing and I don't understand how so many people are giving it 5 stars saying it's the best thing ever. I really enjoyed ToG by the end (first two books sucked) and I adored ACOMAF (the other two in that series were eh), and I went into this expecting more of the same, but like.... This was TOO much the same. And yeah, the editors, if there even were any, probably just went 'it's SJM, it's sold' and moved on with their day. It was SO REPETITIVE. I felt like I was constantly being patronized while reading because everything had to be explained again every time it comes up. Plus there were a bunch of obvious typos, and there was one moment where I thought a brand new character had been introduced out of absolutely nowhere, but it turned out to be the first name of a character she had only been using the last name for any time he shows up. Huh?
Also from reading the comments, it looks like anyone who disagrees with you clearly isn't educated enough in the English language to be truly valid in their arguments despite their assurances that they love to read and read all the time. If they were to read anything worthwhile, they might actually know how to properly structure a sentence.
I stopped reading this book about 300 pages in and I couldn't really put into words why I didn't like it but you've honestly done it perfectly
This book was an insult to my intelligence. I've never read a worse written fantasy book in my life. It was like an edgy teen's fanfic. None of the characters were likeable or relatable, the world was a 'my first fantasy story' level of miss matched generic tropes, too much 'swearing is adult, so we type gods damned in every sentence'.. I hated it so much. Why must all fantasy romance be written so cheaply without any class or depth. 😖
I hated this writing seriously ! And and so much of information dumped like I could not pace out!
I found your vid by accident. It was awesome. When you said, adults know what they're doing, don't believe them, I lost it. LOL
New sub here! Def will be listening to more of your vids.
Keep up the great work!
glad you enjoyed it! welcome in!
IDEA FOR NEXT FILM! IT NEED TO BE TOLD. Sarach full one PLAGIATED the whole Black Jewel series from Anne Bishop on the court books. Full one plagiat in the whole plot. And she read the black jewels, you can see it on her goodreads.
I thought you said "Bryce's relationship with Canada" and I was very confused. I almost hate-read Crescent City. Her depiction of slavery put me off and her need to shove Bryce's special girl qualities down my gullet made me annoyed. I wish authors like Ilona Andrews got this much attention
Taytor Cat for real the slavery aspect of this book has not been talked about at all! And I don't think I've read that author I will have to look them up
Could explain what you mean by the depiction of slavery?
lol . What books do you like?
I kinda grew up with her books, one of the first series I picked up when I started reading was TOG, but I m kinda over them... Kinda a guilty pleasure at this point, like trashy reality TV kinda vibe?
Book Pusher? Can you give me tips on how to write a good fantasy story, whether it be apocalyptic fiction or contemporary fiction? I'm writing my stories on Wattpad because it's fun to do.
Also, loved how you say "The Pit!" It was so hilarious.
if your looking for writing/content help I have tier on my patreon with just that! I'm glad liked that part XD
WOW. Just found you. You are a breath of fresh air.
I actually think you’re wrong about the reason she didn’t put actual sex in there. She’s baiting us into buying the next book to get what we want. She knows her readers are smut readers. It’s her entire audience. She put a decent amount of smut in there too, enough to bait us, but she knows the first in this series was a bitch to get through and that we wont be satisfied tho until we see them actually get some. Thus… buy book two.
Sarah J Maas is not my favorite author anymore. I learned my lesson by reading only like 3 chapters of this new book and it is so not original.
SpiralGirl we can also add the constant problematic tropes. Like the token diversity and killing off characters just for the shock value without it making any sense.
violinst22 Agreed. Nehemia was my favorite character, and I would kill to see her star throne of glass instead of aelin, who is a super powerful fae. Let a normal human star the story for once. It would make the story much more powerful. To me Nehemia made the series great and then it went downhill from there.
Girl, do you have a video that's dragging Throne Of Glass Series? Because I'm dying for it. I LOVED Acotar, yet TOG was such a torment.
Not yet but soon... 👀
I liked it. I’m sad that most people didn’t.
Omg your lecture about literature had me on my feet. Yasss!
I feel so validated
Thank you. Thank you. Thank. You.
akaMissFierce u welcome u welcome u welcome
She’s funny because Bryce never died she came s close to death but never died
I just finished the book, and I have to say that I was bored throughout most of it. As a reader, I didn’t feel the horn's importance or the pressure to find it in the story, making the story less real. I think Sarah could have cut the book down by A LOT of pages because most of it bored the hell out of me, and I had to push myself to finish. Idk I expected more, and at this point, I have no idea how she can still continue the story after everything she put into this book.
"I didn't like the love interest. His name's hunt and that's fucking stupid. " lol. Honestly you could've stopped the review right there. nuff said. One alphahole down the tubes and a million more to go...
There are adult books with no sex. Jill Mansell. It's all literature at the end of the day. Literacy is the ability to read. (anything) I have read romance in the Literature section. Look for Danielle Steel. Look for LaVryle Spencer. wait she's out of print.
I loved every time you put the glasses on! Sounds like f*ckin' true evil, Republican Velma from Scooby-Doo.
Zac tries to read hahaha epic description
I read this thing in two days.. don't get me wrong, I just wanted it to finish fast, I stuck for Ruhn honestly and all that world building kind of flew over me, I remember almost nothing. I think I liked the idea, but not the way it was written. How is it possible that I was more interested in the secondary characters?? How??? I agree with everything you said and more... Just a big no for me..
Thanks for saving me i was about to read it. Now im glad i didnt
I personally extremely enjoyed ALL of TOG, ACOTAR, and even the first part of CC. I don’t see how people can be such harsh critics on them, but maybe that’s just me. I understand where some people come from though. Personally for me once I like the characters that’s all that matters, so if the story goes off a bit then sometimes I don’t notice. I guess it just depends on how the book makes you feel, and all three of those series made me really happy and made me enjoy this shit life a little bit more ❤️
I hate myself, i literally bought this book but I haven't even finished Sarah's others series and I haven't really loved her books before so yay
Me two minutes in to the video: hmm I feel like this girl kinda cusses a lot..... *hits subscribe*
Totally random question but why do bisexuals always have the half blond ombre hair at some point in our lives omfg