.Have always believed in love to cure many things but it only fed my narc’s enormous ego. it is important to be wise when dealing with a narcissist and I’m glad that darkwebprohack helped cloned my wife’s phone. i got access to her dealings both on phone and social media without touching her phone,I’m here in Miami Florida USA and able to access my wife’s phone with a cloned app even while she was away in the UK cheating on me.All I did was share my wife’s phone number with darkwebprohack and I was able to read both her new and deleted messages from my phone through a remote link to a programmed app containing cloned cell information without having to touch her phone...my wife was a cheating Narcissist and I’m glad to find out all her secrets and infidelity with the help of darkwebprohack. My wife also tried to use this coronavirus outbreak as a means to get back to me but I’m not stupid ebony to allow someone so toxic back into my life, I’m finally going through divorce with a lot of evidence against her.i read all deleted and chat on Whatsapp,Facebook,Instagram and GPS location of her phone at all times, you can contact the great hacker via Gmail (darkwebprohack) or text and speak to him directly on the phone and WhatsApp +1 (707) 622-5057 and I hope you will fund the peace with your heart after finding the truth just like myself
Life is challenging without having your own biological mother work against you. My mother and stepfather wanted me to fail after I left them as a teenager. They rooted against me so that if I failed it would benefit their ego and preserve their dysfunction and cruelty as parents. Thank you for sharing your struggle. It has made me feel less alone.
Same. I am so aware that the people who wish to see me fail the most are my own family members especially my mother. She would jump up and down with glee if I came crawling back in defeat. She would break out the champagne and crystal glasses
I wish I had these types of revelations earlier in my life...I agree with you, Daniel. My mom always loved to say how she would kill for me or my dad but in reality, she never lift a finger to defend me or my father when we needed somebody on our side. She was all talk and no action. But to this day she thinks she is perfect and I failed her.
This reminds me of the Cain and Abel story. If you act properly, you'll be rewarded, if you're not rewarded, you're doing something wrong, it's not anyone elses, not even God's fault you're not getting rewarded, it's yours. You might even see it, but instead of redeeming yourself and start conducting yourself properly in the world, you go after the one who already conducts himself properly and cause them harm.
My mother was and is a chronic liar. I have called her out many times, which makes her angry. Then she turns it around on me, like I'm doing something wrong by seeing the lies. Not only a liar, but she is a backstabber, gossiper. I have hurt myself badly throughout life by continuing to confide in her and trust her, because I have wanted so badly to believe that she had my best interests at heart. But she doesn't. Growing up she would sit on the phone and gossip about me to her friends. She would even gossip about me to MY friends when they would call or come over. She would read pages of my diary to her friends and MY friends. She would tell my secrets to the whole family and her friends. There is so much she has done to me, and I walk around with heavy pain in my heart. She kicked me out of the house as soon as I was of legal age. She isolated me from family and made me look bad. My childhood and adolescence were horrible. And I still struggle because I haven't been able to cut her off. I know I should, but there is guilt, sadness, and pain around it. She continues to hurt me. So the way I cope now is just to try to keep alot of distance. Thanks for making this video. It's good to feel that others might understand.
The fact that you've become aware of that injustice is maybe the best evidence that you are strong enough to overcome it. It may take a big effort, but I think you're doing it well!
Thank you Daniel! You are changing my life with every video you upload. I feel like there is someone to hear what goes inside my head even when there's no one. Thank you Daniel, I really owe you so much!
You speak the truth. One thing that I realized in the last few years is that children put trust and forgiveness together. And then when you grow up to be an adult, you keep trusting the same people who keep betraying you because you think that you’re supposed to forgive. The problem is, forgiveness and trust are completely different. Yes we should forgive but we don’t have to trust them ever again!
Narcissistic parents are incredibly difficult to be around. Lies and manipulations by people you are dependant on and are supposed to trust can be life threatening. Glad to see they have also shaped and affirmed who you really are - someone with exceptional awareness and integrity. Thank you for your honest clarity ✨
My mom habitually said "no" to anything I asked for. One day when I was 10, asked about tennis lessons and she said "yes." I did a double take, didn't believe it for a second. And sure enough, she never brought it up again. She said "yes" just to keep dig the hook in a little deeper. She was never letting me off.
My parents broke me in the first three years to the point that I never asked for nor desired anything...Mum would then contrast this behaviour with my more demanding younger sister - said I was such a 'good boy', played us off each other. Then, I became uncomfortable with being showered with expensive gifts on birthdays and xmas - so, I asked for less...got shamed for the request and labeled 'weird.' Couldn't win.
Daniel, I found your videos a week ago. Now I watch a few videos everyday until I have watched them all. Gotta say they are more than helpful and you are a huge inspiration for me.
A mother who does these things to her son is seriously disturbed. You needed your dad to protect you from her. And he failed. You have done a great job working with what you got. You had to break away from this dishonest system and use your faculties for the betterment of the world.
I never lied to my kids. Not even a "little white lie". Now my kids trust me 100%. However, I stopped lying completely many years ago. And I never had another headache again. Funny how Psychology doesn't teach this simple cure for headaches.
It’s extremely relieving not only to be brutally honest with others, but especially ourselves. I was spending so much energy trying not to feel what I really felt. Funny to think about.
@@lissie3669 I was extremely depressed and even suicidal as a young man. One day I forgave my father for not being around. And my depression left me forever.
@@threethrushes No, I just said it to myself. I had no idea that he needed forgiveness. Nor did he. I was by myself when I decided to forgive him. I was raised in a single parent home. And I never told him.
My mom did a lot of those types of things. She told me when she caught me masturbating that it was a sin and wrong with God. Then my sister told me that babies came from sex and I went a good chunk of my childhood thinking I would get myself pregnant. She also told us that we have purple monkey demons and she sees them in the hallway. It was horrifying. These videos help me remember why I broke up with my parents.
My father had an affair when I was 4. My sister says he bought his, "Doxie," home on Christmas Day. My mother had a breakdown. My father betrayed my mother, his children and his family.
One thing about my family, is that my parents hated each other so much that they never defended each other, they would even come to me and each would complain about the other one. For a long time I thought that it was really bad to do that, but after seeing all the hypocrisy and denial other families live in, I'm starting to think that at least they were honest, and everything was more out in the open, not that they were self aware, they weren't, but we were the kind of family that turned on each other which is horrible but as an adult when I look at families who stick together even though they are really sick and dysfunctional just to save face while constantly lying about problems, I think I kind of prefer my parents way which was to divorce and get it over with while we were still young (I was 9 and my brother was 7).
I remember the bad practical jokes both my parents used to subject me to, plus the rough play in which I was more of an object than a person. They used to put me in a blanket, swing me around while they were holding the ends on top of the bed, I must have been around 4, at first it seemed fun but it soon turned scary, cause I was afraid I would land on the floor or worse into the glass of the bookshelf that was at less then a foot away from the bed, or when my dad would suddenly grab my shoulder and pretend to push me off of the open balcony (the rail barely reached my mid body even as a kid) or the cliff when we went climbing (I nearly fell once) (I love the mountain side, but I'm still awfully afraid of heights), and often times I would wrestle with them, my dad usually played dead to end the play (that thing scared me a lot a few times because he was very convincing), but my mom didn't like to loose and she would often lock my hands in her grip, and wouldn't let go even though I was hurting (my grandma and aunt would often do the same when I 'misbehaived'). I remember I once raised my leg to deffend myself cause my mom was mockingly making karate moves and she ended kicking my toes backwards, then instead of apologising and tending to my pain, she started mocking me for acting like a wuss and crying, I must have been around 7 at the time.
Dad chose to deliberately electrocute me with the magneto of my uncle's lawnmower in front of all the guests at a BBQ under the guise of my 'helping' him fix it.
Magical thinking is very common among narcissists. My mother was no exception: She pretended that she could 'feel' when I forgot to turn lights off before going to bed when she was already sleeping upstairs. She would then run through the house like a maniac to throw a tantrum at 3am in the morning. The truth is that she was an extreme control freak with severe insomnia. She would lay awake for hours in her bed, meticulously listening to all noises in the house to satisfy her need for control. My parents did not want me and my mother got pregnant by accident.I suspect that is the reason why I was never allowed to have my own life. I too got scapegoated more and more as soon as I started to live my own life and break away from my abusive home. It's sad, but true: Some parents simply aren't fit enough and shouldn't have their own kids.
My mom is so manipulative and a liar she probably would have gotten the snake in the garden of Eden to eat the apple himself and turn around and skin him for a purse or shoes.
This is so sick it’s disturbing that parent child relationships are like this and it makes your children more likely to choose a partner that isn’t safe as well cause they’ve been brainwashed that that’s normal
After years now I see how primitive and pushy my parents and grandparents attitudes were. How self-deceiving, having to be self-magical for them, to be a instant escape and gratification. And I see now myself how much I plunged into their false reality drama. Having to put my growing self aside, to be for them for long years. These years were not available for me to grow. I stucked in my growth, a "adult child" is an oxymoron, and a laughter phrase. I was ridiculusly naive, wanted this circus to be real. And it could not be real, because all participants were unreal, dissociated severly. They could'nt live their lives, they lived their sick roles. all family members: alcoholics-narcissists or flying monkeys. And this in really not advanced manner. They had grandiose picture of themselves, and no real solution for their children. Pathetic. Now trying to give my life to myself, trying release trauma bonds. Thank you for your films. They help me to understand this situation.
I'm in school for social work now largely because I've been inspired by your work. You would make an excellent professor or guest speaker at any university. You are excellent with words and would really help push the boundaries and challenge norms in the profession. You have helped me think deeper and more critically about the material presented in class. I question everything and feel I'm learning a lot because of it. Thanks for your videos!
Thanks! Interestingly, back when I was writing books and making films, I was getting invited to speak much more to doctors and psychologists. The social work grad programs (including NYU, where I went) were more scared of me, even though I was a social worker myself. It was a strange phenomenon…
@@dmackler58 can you maybe do a video explaining your experiences that made you feel they were dismissive or afraid of you? What kinds of things were u saying that you feel intimidated them? How did they show it?
Many thanks, your insight has been invaluable to me as I distance myself from my family. I too have come to realize, again and admittedly belatedly at 40 (I had move away to different states for 17 years and recently moved back with my partner), that any relationship with my birth family will only end up driving me crazy.
And this is why I am pro-abortion and birth control. Damaged parents can do more damage raising a kid you don't want versus ending the pregnancy. This man is still badly damaged and it breaks my heart. So many adults and teens wind up killing themselves or innocent people as a result of parental abuse and emotional neglect. So honestly what's worse? An abortion? or suicide, serial murder, aggravated rape, or a mass shooting? Think about that one.
Bravo for another insightful video! I truly enjoy the way you speak about your experiences and how you analyze them! I can relate to what you have experienced by comparing it to my personal experiences inside my family's "circle of trust".
It's freaky how she lied about the gum... Makes me think of all those pranking your own child videos where quite often children ''don't understand'' their ''humor'', but actually it's abusive. Really strange that she did that. I've also realized that my good qualities like healthy aggression, independence, freedom of thinking were labeled as ''bad'' which helped me not to develop them...
I feel my mum has betrayed me. She lied saying all men are aggressive and if i refused to do what they want sexually they would turn aggressive towards me and would not want to be with me. I went through unnesscsry fear being round guys and was too scared to be round my father because I believed he was being aggressive towards her because he is a 'man'. My dad felt unhappy how I was distant and he died when I was 19 not understanding why I rejected him alot. She lied to me saying she treats all of us siblings equally and she doesn't and favours my brother. When I tell her how unhappy I was with what she told me there is no remorse at all.
The " I know magic" example just made me realise it's equivalent in my life was, " I know everything cause I am your mom." And I too believed her and that made me expect she would know when I'm in pain and as the assumption was "mother loves me" , I also expected she will not cause me pain cause she will know 🤣🤣🤣 And thus the communication gap in other relationships in adult life. I never realised where did this stupid assumption come from that my partner will know cause he loves me!!! Thanks Daniel!!! Share more of your adult explanations of childhood experiences,it just helped me. Funny how things aren't so different even on the other side of the world!!
I feel that some mothers are jealous of their daughters , like mine who would tell me when I was a teenager in my bikini that my legs were ugly ect.. always trying to insult me . When I won a pageant and told her it would be televised, suddenly my legs looked good and that she was proud of me . I knew it was only bc she wanted to take credit for it, s. he put it in the local newspaper .. she had never expressed an interest in me before that. So many pare. nts are simply broken children procreating and continuing the cycle of abuse on their children
“Trust them anyway” makes a crazy amount of sense. These videos help a lot thank you. People have the audacity to question why kids “go along” with their parents. My parents wanted me dependent on them for life, that was scary enough to be dissociated a lot. My mom would use religion and she was just very “spiritual.” And I know another mom will claim to be energy sensitive like your mom and it blows my mind cause she is a pathological liar
.Have always believed in love to cure many things but it only fed my narc’s enormous ego. it is important to be wise when dealing with a narcissist and I’m glad that darkwebprohack helped cloned my wife’s phone. i got access to her dealings both on phone and social media without touching her phone,I’m here in Miami Florida USA and able to access my wife’s phone with a cloned app even while she was away in the UK cheating on me.All I did was share my wife’s phone number with darkwebprohack and I was able to read both her new and deleted messages from my phone through a remote link to a programmed app containing cloned cell information without having to touch her phone...my wife was a cheating Narcissist and I’m glad to find out all her secrets and infidelity with the help of darkwebprohack. My wife also tried to use this coronavirus outbreak as a means to get back to me but I’m not stupid ebony to allow someone so toxic back into my life, I’m finally going through divorce with a lot of evidence against her.i read all deleted and chat on Whatsapp,Facebook,Instagram and GPS location of her phone at all times, you can contact the great hacker via Gmail (darkwebprohack) or text and speak to him directly on the phone and WhatsApp +1 (707) 622-5057 and I hope you will fund the peace with your heart after finding the truth just like myself
Parents, please never lie to your kids because when you do & they find out, you'll lack credibility forever! I learned in elementary school that there was no Santa Claus & that those gifts from Santa coming down the chimney were really my own parents, after I fervorantly defended my parent's lies to the point of nearly coming to blows at recess. Then when I got home from school & confronted my mom & she admitted she, all those years, was just fooling us, I never looked at her in the same way again. Then having to return to school with egg on my face, was excruciating for me.
Your mom's "obsession" with magic reminds me of how my mom would be into Tarot readings and horoscopes. I never had quite the experience you did Daniel, but my narc mom did believe in magic.
Really relate to these episodes, especially the aspect of being lied to even after reality has exposed the lie and continuing to believe out of the desperate need to have trust in and protection and love from parents.
Mine betrayed me too. And after she passed away, I found out how dishonest she really was. She not only withheld me sharing in Her family, having a family, she lived off of a gift my Dad left to me when he passed away. I was 7. I never knew about it till I got into her paperwork as I cleaned up her messy lifes papertrail. The biggest kick in the ass was that she knew I'd find out eventually. Disappointing. That's all she ever was. It's a miracle I survived her. On every single level. She got off on watching how damaging her power was. Watch out for a parent who garners pity from every single person they can. I was adopted and I really believe she secretely hated her kids because they made her look bad. I was put down because I spoke up and "wanted" anything.
Dear Daniel, I hope that this comment gets to you. First off, I'm immeasurably indebted to you and your lessons through these videos, sir. I'm grateful to have found this channel. It becomes my voice of reason when I fail to find it elsewhere. I've a request. I was hoping you'd talk about it but you haven't which leads me to the suspicion that you live in an alternate reality. Because you do like to talk about anything that ails humans. Can you please do a talk related to the consequences of isolation of the pandemic times? I'd like to hear you talk about it. Stay well, sir.
Thats why I not long ago gave an open critique to a mother of a nice man, so that he can see what I said about her and can think about it in the future. Hopefully he will see through before she destroys his life.
Holy %^&* .... I have seen a lot of delusional parenting, dangerous parenting, trust-destroying parenting. I have survived my share (I almost died one, two, three, nope four times actually - as a result of this kind of parenting). I was about to say how shocked I was at the level of delusion and neglect you were exposed to, but your story made me remember what I had to deal with and what my friends had to deal with from their parents, hell what my enemies had to deal with from their parents - and what my parents and my grandparents had to deal with and how they barely survived the cruelty and delusions and meanness of their own parents.
3:00 It's the meta-belief that causes the split. You didn't believe. You needed to believe. It's like needing to breathe but not being able to breathe. Holding your breath for 20, 30, 40, years... forever. Until you just die. Many times we take refuge in judgment because we can't have what it stands in for: trust. But judgment doesn't keep us warm at night. So we try and exist in the no-mans-land in between trust and judgement: needing to believe.
Honesty can be dangerous because for most people it's too painful. Denial is the medication of choice it seems amongst a lot of us. Denial is the easier route. Honesty is the painful route, but imo the most rewarding one and authentic one. It makes more sense being true to your self than living in your own little false fantasy world, ignoring how you really feel to cater for the external world. Some people just can't handle truth and some hate you when you speak truth, as if it's weak, pointless and something to laugh at and bully you for. Not to mention that some are against feeling. Some hate others for being able to think for them selves and be them selves because they know deep down they aren't even a self them selves. Sounds like your parents envied you. Sounds like they were jealous of your introspect and individualism because they probably knew they weren't even that interesting. Just a clone of all the other narcs that walk the earth.
The third time my mom blew up my family, she left my dad and I in the middle of the day, when he was at work. I was an adult, living with them while I "fixed my life" (after all the damage during their first divorce--and I DID fix it, as far as school/job went). I slept late, and I know she was hoping to have all of her crap out the door before I got up. But I walked in, in the middle of it. She basically jumped on me, fearing I'd call my dad, begged me not to. She even shed a few tears. I realized later how much distrust this all showed toward me. At 13, I chose to stay with my father in the first divorce she initiated, and I guess that made me a traitor forever. I was beside myself but agreed to hold her secret. What she didn't tell me is that the rest of my day would be me feeling like a traitorous shyt to my father and wondering how he would react when he got home. Would he go get drunk and kill himself or someone else? Would he just go upstairs and shoot himself? I'd have to find that! Would he collapse on the floor, crying? What the hell was I supposed to do then? We weren't very huggy/feely. I made sure to be there that evening when he got home so he could hear right away and in person, not from that fracking note she left behind. I even told him what she did to me and that I let her go. I knew it was risky but I just wanted the truth out. His reaction was mad/upset at her but thankfully undramatic. Still, what could have been! I should mention we found out the next day that my mom ran around and hit all the bank accounts, taking what sounded like MORE than "her half." He was upset that she took some of his inheritance money from my recently-deceased grandmother. He told me a few days later that she gave some of it back, so that confirms she did it. More recently, I realized the amount of planning of all of this must have taken... weeks or months, during which she lived with and interacted with us. So, of all the things she did, this is the one I can call The Trustbreaker. I never looked at her the same after, even before I cut off communication. A mother that can do THAT... P.S. My father let her come back again, a few years later. He had just gotten his girlfriend to give up her apartment and to move in with us when my mother agreed. He threw the girlfriend right out. And I liked her more than my own mother. 😕 #RIPAntoinette P.P.S.: My mother's biggest lie: "This is between your father and I; it has nothing to do with you kids." --said as she was blowing up our family and we were all being damaged.
Thanks for making this video I can relate to your videos ! New subscriber here . I feel like both of my parent were & are both manipultive but my father done it more often .
I loved the last part of the video , yes it is ture , my family doesn't like me when I talk especially when a problem happening or trying to say the truth about them the call me (arrogant ,stubborn) ,but yet when they fail to solve the problem, they start taking the right steps that I told them earlier, I tried to change my way of discussing many times thinking that mabye I am wrong ,and tried many ways with them, but no avail, Yes true mabye you to good for them , don't doubt yourself when u based on logical and scientific method
In response of the trauma you dissociated/gaslight yourself to survive as a child. Very sad. I did the same. Denied myself/reality. Very difficult to heal from. These parents are monsters.
Hey daniel. I also believe i have narcissistic parents. I am healing and maintaining a distance. That asside, i came to a new theory. As a child were u shunned and attacked for showing anger or frustration from your mother? Even if not directed at her, Just an external situation? Did you feel you had to hide your positive emotions around her cuz thats when the toxic energy from her started? If so I'd say your "masculine energy" was never allowed to express itself. I never "learned" to ask "why"? To dumb stuff or strange things done by my parents. If i did ask why. I never got a response. Just silence. And i never got to ask my father because he would get angry (wounded masculine energy)and i feared him. So i learned to shut up cuz he eventually gave "an answer" anyways because all he did was talk and talk and talk...
The way you describe your mom’s manipulation of you reminds me of what’s currently happening with our political parties and mainstream media. Ex painting a chaotic picture of the world and keeping you in fear. Interesting.
Your mother was truly disturbed. I sometimes see mothers who let their hand rest between their childs legs. Thats so insane. Should we say something to them?
The Vulnerable Narcissist in my life tried to convince me she could read my mind and also that she had deep insight on how I was wrong inside (she said the fact I watched cartoons without sound, which I did in order not to wake my brothers up, meant I was really bad and had to "grow up" and "she knew why"). Having had OCD and Depression you can imagine how those things fucked me up in the long run. I was scared to _think_, for _years_, because I had a worrisome feeling someone could be reading my mind, and then I'd start having intrusive "erotic" thoughts about people, which made me feel a lot of shame, and I had to "counter" them by imaginig my body was being torn apart and I was being stabbed, but it only made the thoughts stronger, and worse than that, I knew this was all bullshit but couldn't control. Gosh, OCD can be HELL. Thank God I figured how to stop it.
I lost trust for most people because of the behavior of both of my parents, and regained a lot of my trust because of the wonderful and trustworthy people I've met along the way (both men and women) and because of the grieving I've done (and thus gaining a self within myself that I could trust...).
What a nightmare… at least nightmares ends when we wake up but this its a nightmare you never wake up from i dont know what to compare it its so hellish its so demonic life is so fucking sickening and fiendish and twisted like a sick bad psychedelic trip
Inspiring. I got a follow up question: So you say, it's not okay, that your dad defended your mum's shit behaviour and I get that, but at the same time a voice in my head says: "Yeah, but if you blame your partner and call them out for their shit towards your children...doesn't that also confuse the child and potentially hurt it, because it can't keep the connection to the misbehaving parent? And also it could threaten the parents relationship and thereby also hurt the child...." I don't know how screwed up my question is... My natural instinct says, you should try to figure it out with your partner first, but if you don't come to an agreement or can resolve stuff together ideally....well...I couldn't help myself but just being honest to the child, about your different views on that... but I am really unsure. My parents split up when I was three. They always blamed each other, which forced me to take the one side, that was gonna take best (not good) care for me and cut rhe other parent out of my heart, which for many yrs up until this day (I'm 20) in some ways left a deep wound, a split in my personality even. I don't know if that was better than could I have kept seeing and loving my dad. I wonder... And I grief.
When you have the capacity to use your intelligence and discrimination, are comfortable with making yourself a priority and having healthy boundaries it will not magically stop the world from being a difficult place and people will generally tend to disappoint you. You simply get tired of making an effort only to be disappointed again and again. There is very little honesty, reciprocity and love in the world. You can be an excellent judge of character and only allow healthy people into your life but that will always be a very small number of people, at several points in your life it may be none. The path of self awareness and personal accountability is a lonely path and can feel very disheartening at times. It is so much easier to fall back on old patterns, they are familiar and comfortable. There are always people whom you can be with when you are willing to play the game and fit in with the herd.
@@threethrushes You can only hold back the feelings for so long. Disavowing your need for love and friendship will only lead to further frustration, anger and disappointment. We are in a very bad place socially. Post modern philosophers would say that we have become a society which only values money, power, status, image and objects. We are increasingly becoming atomized, narcissistic and alienated from one another. Stuffing down or ignoring the feelings only works in the short term. It is not a long term solution.
@@michaeljensen4650 just wait until the politicians are through with us. We will not remember what bonding looks or feels like. We're pushed into screen addiction and social skill degradation.
A lot of anti-psychiatric information is put out by Citizens Commission on Human Rights and this is founded by Dr Thomas Szasz who is connected to the Church of Scientology. This in many ways work to delegitimise anti-psychiatry information. Can you please comment on this?
From a New York Times article: In 1969, in a move that damaged his credibility even among allies, he joined with the Church of Scientology to found the Citizens Commission on Human Rights, which portrays the field as abusive and regularly pickets psychiatric meetings. Dr. Szasz was not a Scientologist himself, and he later distanced himself from the church, but he shared the religion’s critical view of psychiatry.
@@dmackler58 "Cult" is such a misused word---it can be tricky when speaking of "cults." Almost any venerated individual with a following could be considered a "cult" leader. That would be untrue or rather if it is true, we are iving in a world full of "cults," indeed, the world is a "cult"
Yes, that would be lovely. But I think I understand why he doesn't. Can you imagine how many questions he would get from each of us.☺ He would probably upload less videos just to be able to answer everyone. As much as I would love for him to answer my questions. I rather him post several videos like he does. His videos are a wealth of info and he is able to help many more ppl this way. Not saying that this is why he doesn't answer questions....but just my opinion of why he might choose not to.❤
Spoke with my siblings about my true feelings about my mom, got invalidated. As a kid, I always felt really good keeping things that made me happy a secret, I guess my family has been dysfunctional for longer than I thought. It’s a shame I was deferred from sharing things I was excited about, that’s one of the best things about being a kid.
Any time I shared anything with those people they put shit on it. One example: aged 12, I saw a girl on TV I thought was cute (my age, blonde, sweet smile) and I remarked that I thought she was...Dad sneered: 'She looks like a BOY!' (She didn't at all.) Arseholes.
Why do adults love torturing children so much? It is sickening.
.Have always believed in love to cure many things but it only fed my narc’s enormous ego. it is important to be wise when dealing with a narcissist and I’m glad that darkwebprohack helped cloned my wife’s phone. i got access to her dealings both on phone and social media without touching her phone,I’m here in Miami Florida USA and able to access my wife’s phone with a cloned app even while she was away in the UK cheating on me.All I did was share my wife’s phone number with darkwebprohack and I was able to read both her new and deleted messages from my phone through a remote link to a programmed app containing cloned cell information without having to touch her phone...my wife was a cheating Narcissist and I’m glad to find out all her secrets and infidelity with the help of darkwebprohack. My wife also tried to use this coronavirus outbreak as a means to get back to me but I’m not stupid ebony to allow someone so toxic back into my life, I’m finally going through divorce with a lot of evidence against her.i read all deleted and chat on Whatsapp,Facebook,Instagram and GPS location of her phone at all times, you can contact the great hacker via Gmail (darkwebprohack) or text and speak to him directly on the phone and WhatsApp +1 (707) 622-5057 and I hope you will fund the peace with your heart after finding the truth just like myself
they feel powerful doing so
Addicted to being cruel. And get off getting away with it.
Power and control. Because really they are cowards.
Also, they seem to need to vent what was done on to them, by their own parents, authority figures, life, etc.
She gaslit you. It really is effed up how cruel parents can be.
It starts from the woman taking the child, preventing the man from having potential to follow the straight and narrow. Traces back to Adam and Eve
People should have to pass a test to be allowed to become parents.
Haha
Good luck enforcing that rule. Such a rule is kind of pathological in itself anyway, it's the state acting like a helicopter parent.
Yeah get a true mental health evaluation.
@@desiderata333
Yes, for sure...unfortunately, people will keep breeding, Willy nilly, and screwing up their kids.🙄
I think a psychological evaluation and parenting courses.
Daniel is so authentic and transparent. He is the kind of friend that everyone could benefit from. So glad I found his videos!❤
I stunned that that he has not got more subscribers
It's the best therapy advise channel
Life is challenging without having your own biological mother work against you. My mother and stepfather wanted me to fail after I left them as a teenager. They rooted against me so that if I failed it would benefit their ego and preserve their dysfunction and cruelty as parents. Thank you for sharing your struggle. It has made me feel less alone.
Same. I am so aware that the people who wish to see me fail the most are my own family members especially my mother. She would jump up and down with glee if I came crawling back in defeat. She would break out the champagne and crystal glasses
I wish I had these types of revelations earlier in my life...I agree with you, Daniel. My mom always loved to say how she would kill for me or my dad but in reality, she never lift a finger to defend me or my father when we needed somebody on our side. She was all talk and no action. But to this day she thinks she is perfect and I failed her.
This reminds me of the Cain and Abel story. If you act properly, you'll be rewarded, if you're not rewarded, you're doing something wrong, it's not anyone elses, not even God's fault you're not getting rewarded, it's yours. You might even see it, but instead of redeeming yourself and start conducting yourself properly in the world, you go after the one who already conducts himself properly and cause them harm.
The only way a child can "fail" a parent is if they were failed by them first.
My mother was and is a chronic liar. I have called her out many times, which makes her angry. Then she turns it around on me, like I'm doing something wrong by seeing the lies. Not only a liar, but she is a backstabber, gossiper. I have hurt myself badly throughout life by continuing to confide in her and trust her, because I have wanted so badly to believe that she had my best interests at heart. But she doesn't. Growing up she would sit on the phone and gossip about me to her friends. She would even gossip about me to MY friends when they would call or come over. She would read pages of my diary to her friends and MY friends. She would tell my secrets to the whole family and her friends. There is so much she has done to me, and I walk around with heavy pain in my heart. She kicked me out of the house as soon as I was of legal age. She isolated me from family and made me look bad. My childhood and adolescence were horrible.
And I still struggle because I haven't been able to cut her off. I know I should, but there is guilt, sadness, and pain around it. She continues to hurt me. So the way I cope now is just to try to keep alot of distance.
Thanks for making this video. It's good to feel that others might understand.
The fact that you've become aware of that injustice is maybe the best evidence that you are strong enough to overcome it. It may take a big effort, but I think you're doing it well!
Thank you Daniel! You are changing my life with every video you upload. I feel like there is someone to hear what goes inside my head even when there's no one. Thank you Daniel, I really owe you so much!
My brother fell in to the bottomless pit with my mom. HE is 51 and he is crazy and unable to hold a job. Killing himself with alcohol.
You speak the truth. One thing that I realized in the last few years is that children put trust and forgiveness together. And then when you grow up to be an adult, you keep trusting the same people who keep betraying you because you think that you’re supposed to forgive. The problem is, forgiveness and trust are completely different. Yes we should forgive but we don’t have to trust them ever again!
Forgive, but never forget.
@@threethrushes The DALAI LAMA made this same recomandation. I would add : A systeme without memory can not evolve.
Never forgive others. We must only forgive ourselves for being fooled by evil people. And we must.
Buck Deniston Forgiving others is for ourselves, not them because bitterness destroys our mind and our bodies, not theirs.
We don't have to forgive. It's not an obligation
Narcissistic parents are incredibly difficult to be around. Lies and manipulations by people you are dependant on and are supposed to trust can be life threatening.
Glad to see they have also shaped and affirmed who you really are - someone with exceptional awareness and integrity.
Thank you for your honest clarity ✨
My mom habitually said "no" to anything I asked for. One day when I was 10, asked about tennis lessons and she said "yes." I did a double take, didn't believe it for a second. And sure enough, she never brought it up again. She said "yes" just to keep dig the hook in a little deeper. She was never letting me off.
My parents broke me in the first three years to the point that I never asked for nor desired anything...Mum would then contrast this behaviour with my more demanding younger sister - said I was such a 'good boy', played us off each other. Then, I became uncomfortable with being showered with expensive gifts on birthdays and xmas - so, I asked for less...got shamed for the request and labeled 'weird.' Couldn't win.
It makes me sick when my parents or my brother say they love me. Ugh.
Lol. Mine don't. They just say I'm ungrateful. Makes me sick too.
Hated being 'spoiled' on Xmas and birthdays...even as a kid I knew that their 'luv' (as Dad spells it...even though his English is perfect) was bogus.
Daniel, I found your videos a week ago. Now I watch a few videos everyday until I have watched them all. Gotta say they are more than helpful and you are a huge inspiration for me.
A mother who does these things to her son is seriously disturbed. You needed your dad to protect you from her. And he failed. You have done a great job working with what you got. You had to break away from this dishonest system and use your faculties for the betterment of the world.
I never lied to my kids. Not even a "little white lie". Now my kids trust me 100%. However, I stopped lying completely many years ago. And I never had another headache again. Funny how Psychology doesn't teach this simple cure for headaches.
So interesting! 🙂 congrats!
It’s extremely relieving not only to be brutally honest with others, but especially ourselves. I was spending so much energy trying not to feel what I really felt. Funny to think about.
@@lissie3669 I was extremely depressed and even suicidal as a young man. One day I forgave my father for not being around. And my depression left me forever.
@@meenki347 Was your father asking for your forgiveness?
@@threethrushes No, I just said it to myself. I had no idea that he needed forgiveness. Nor did he. I was by myself when I decided to forgive him. I was raised in a single parent home. And I never told him.
My mom did a lot of those types of things. She told me when she caught me masturbating that it was a sin and wrong with God. Then my sister told me that babies came from sex and I went a good chunk of my childhood thinking I would get myself pregnant. She also told us that we have purple monkey demons and she sees them in the hallway. It was horrifying. These videos help me remember why I broke up with my parents.
That was Gaslighting! Leads to much suffering on the inside
My father had an affair when I was 4. My sister says he bought his, "Doxie," home on Christmas Day. My mother had a breakdown.
My father betrayed my mother, his children and his family.
You touch me again and again. Thank you for telling your story and being yourself.
One thing about my family, is that my parents hated each other so much that they never defended each other, they would even come to me and each would complain about the other one. For a long time I thought that it was really bad to do that, but after seeing all the hypocrisy and denial other families live in, I'm starting to think that at least they were honest, and everything was more out in the open, not that they were self aware, they weren't, but we were the kind of family that turned on each other which is horrible but as an adult when I look at families who stick together even though they are really sick and dysfunctional just to save face while constantly lying about problems, I think I kind of prefer my parents way which was to divorce and get it over with while we were still young (I was 9 and my brother was 7).
I remember the bad practical jokes both my parents used to subject me to, plus the rough play in which I was more of an object than a person. They used to put me in a blanket, swing me around while they were holding the ends on top of the bed, I must have been around 4, at first it seemed fun but it soon turned scary, cause I was afraid I would land on the floor or worse into the glass of the bookshelf that was at less then a foot away from the bed, or when my dad would suddenly grab my shoulder and pretend to push me off of the open balcony (the rail barely reached my mid body even as a kid) or the cliff when we went climbing (I nearly fell once) (I love the mountain side, but I'm still awfully afraid of heights), and often times I would wrestle with them, my dad usually played dead to end the play (that thing scared me a lot a few times because he was very convincing), but my mom didn't like to loose and she would often lock my hands in her grip, and wouldn't let go even though I was hurting (my grandma and aunt would often do the same when I 'misbehaived'). I remember I once raised my leg to deffend myself cause my mom was mockingly making karate moves and she ended kicking my toes backwards, then instead of apologising and tending to my pain, she started mocking me for acting like a wuss and crying, I must have been around 7 at the time.
Dad chose to deliberately electrocute me with the magneto of my uncle's lawnmower in front of all the guests at a BBQ under the guise of my 'helping' him fix it.
My mum was abusive but it's my dad that let me down in the end. I feel like I can't trust him because he didn't protect me.
Magical thinking is very common among narcissists. My mother was no exception: She pretended that she could 'feel' when I forgot to turn lights off before going to bed when she was already sleeping upstairs. She would then run through the house like a maniac to throw a tantrum at 3am in the morning. The truth is that she was an extreme control freak with severe insomnia. She would lay awake for hours in her bed, meticulously listening to all noises in the house to satisfy her need for control. My parents did not want me and my mother got pregnant by accident.I suspect that is the reason why I was never allowed to have my own life. I too got scapegoated more and more as soon as I started to live my own life and break away from my abusive home. It's sad, but true: Some parents simply aren't fit enough and shouldn't have their own kids.
so sorry you had a crazy-making psycho-dynamic to contend with. horrible and heartbreaking. congratulations for finding sanity.
My mom is so manipulative and a liar she probably would have gotten the snake in the garden of Eden to eat the apple himself and turn around and skin him for a purse or shoes.
This is so relatable. My dad lies and gaslights a lot
This is so sick it’s disturbing that parent child relationships are like this and it makes your children more likely to choose a partner that isn’t safe as well cause they’ve been brainwashed that that’s normal
i feel like i am listening to myself rn
Wow I'm so sorry Daniel that is NOT good road safety.
Not just not good road safety - not good parenting outright
After years now I see how primitive and pushy my parents and grandparents attitudes were.
How self-deceiving, having to be self-magical for them, to be a instant escape and gratification.
And I see now myself how much I plunged into their false reality drama.
Having to put my growing self aside, to be for them for long years.
These years were not available for me to grow.
I stucked in my growth, a "adult child" is an oxymoron, and a laughter phrase.
I was ridiculusly naive, wanted this circus to be real.
And it could not be real, because all participants were unreal, dissociated severly.
They could'nt live their lives, they lived their sick roles.
all family members: alcoholics-narcissists or flying monkeys.
And this in really not advanced manner.
They had grandiose picture of themselves, and no real solution for their children.
Pathetic.
Now trying to give my life to myself, trying release trauma bonds.
Thank you for your films. They help me to understand this situation.
I'm in school for social work now largely because I've been inspired by your work. You would make an excellent professor or guest speaker at any university. You are excellent with words and would really help push the boundaries and challenge norms in the profession. You have helped me think deeper and more critically about the material presented in class. I question everything and feel I'm learning a lot because of it. Thanks for your videos!
Thanks! Interestingly, back when I was writing books and making films, I was getting invited to speak much more to doctors and psychologists. The social work grad programs (including NYU, where I went) were more scared of me, even though I was a social worker myself. It was a strange phenomenon…
@@dmackler58 can you maybe do a video explaining your experiences that made you feel they were dismissive or afraid of you? What kinds of things were u saying that you feel intimidated them? How did they show it?
Dude, I’m so sorry your mom put you in that kind of emotional bind. I feel it.
Many thanks, your insight has been invaluable to me as I distance myself from my family. I too have come to realize, again and admittedly belatedly at 40 (I had move away to different states for 17 years and recently moved back with my partner), that any relationship with my birth family will only end up driving me crazy.
And this is why I am pro-abortion and birth control. Damaged parents can do more damage raising a kid you don't want versus ending the pregnancy. This man is still badly damaged and it breaks my heart. So many adults and teens wind up killing themselves or innocent people as a result of parental abuse and emotional neglect. So honestly what's worse? An abortion? or suicide, serial murder, aggravated rape, or a mass shooting? Think about that one.
Bravo for another insightful video! I truly enjoy the way you speak about your experiences and how you analyze them! I can relate to what you have experienced by comparing it to my personal experiences inside my family's "circle of trust".
It's freaky how she lied about the gum... Makes me think of all those pranking your own child videos where quite often children ''don't understand'' their ''humor'', but actually it's abusive. Really strange that she did that.
I've also realized that my good qualities like healthy aggression, independence, freedom of thinking were labeled as ''bad'' which helped me not to develop them...
I feel my mum has betrayed me. She lied saying all men are aggressive and if i refused to do what they want sexually they would turn aggressive towards me and would not want to be with me. I went through unnesscsry fear being round guys and was too scared to be round my father because I believed he was being aggressive towards her because he is a 'man'. My dad felt unhappy how I was distant and he died when I was 19 not understanding why I rejected him alot.
She lied to me saying she treats all of us siblings equally and she doesn't and favours my brother. When I tell her how unhappy I was with what she told me there is no remorse at all.
The depths of trauma are endless. That's just sick and twisted about the car accident ordeal and gum.
"I put it into a little category that was called " - you're so great at putting complex ideas into simple words :D
The " I know magic" example just made me realise it's equivalent in my life was,
" I know everything cause I am your mom."
And I too believed her and that made me expect she would know when I'm in pain and as the assumption was "mother loves me" , I also expected she will not cause me pain cause she will know 🤣🤣🤣
And thus the communication gap in other relationships in adult life. I never realised where did this stupid assumption come from that my partner will know cause he loves me!!!
Thanks Daniel!!! Share more of your adult explanations of childhood experiences,it just helped me. Funny how things aren't so different even on the other side of the world!!
I feel that some mothers are jealous of their daughters , like mine who would tell me when I was a teenager in my bikini that my legs were ugly ect.. always trying to insult me . When I won a pageant and told her it would be televised, suddenly my legs looked good and that she was proud of me . I knew it was only bc she wanted to take credit for it, s. he put it in the local newspaper .. she had never expressed an interest in me before that. So many pare. nts are simply broken children procreating and continuing the cycle of abuse on their children
“Trust them anyway” makes a crazy amount of sense.
These videos help a lot thank you. People have the audacity to question why kids “go along” with their parents.
My parents wanted me dependent on them for life, that was scary enough to be dissociated a lot.
My mom would use religion and she was just very “spiritual.”
And I know another mom will claim to be energy sensitive like your mom and it blows my mind cause she is a pathological liar
.Have always believed in love to cure many things but it only fed my narc’s enormous ego. it is important to be wise when dealing with a narcissist and I’m glad that darkwebprohack helped cloned my wife’s phone. i got access to her dealings both on phone and social media without touching her phone,I’m here in Miami Florida USA and able to access my wife’s phone with a cloned app even while she was away in the UK cheating on me.All I did was share my wife’s phone number with darkwebprohack and I was able to read both her new and deleted messages from my phone through a remote link to a programmed app containing cloned cell information without having to touch her phone...my wife was a cheating Narcissist and I’m glad to find out all her secrets and infidelity with the help of darkwebprohack. My wife also tried to use this coronavirus outbreak as a means to get back to me but I’m not stupid ebony to allow someone so toxic back into my life, I’m finally going through divorce with a lot of evidence against her.i read all deleted and chat on Whatsapp,Facebook,Instagram and GPS location of her phone at all times, you can contact the great hacker via Gmail (darkwebprohack) or text and speak to him directly on the phone and WhatsApp +1 (707) 622-5057 and I hope you will fund the peace with your heart after finding the truth just like myself
Parents, please never lie to your kids because when you do & they find out, you'll lack credibility forever! I learned in elementary school that there was no Santa Claus & that those gifts from Santa coming down the chimney were really my own parents, after I fervorantly defended my parent's lies to the point of nearly coming to blows at recess. Then when I got home from school & confronted my mom & she admitted she, all those years, was just fooling us, I never looked at her in the same way again. Then having to return to school with egg on my face, was excruciating for me.
Your mom's "obsession" with magic reminds me of how my mom would be into Tarot readings and horoscopes. I never had quite the experience you did Daniel, but my narc mom did believe in magic.
All women that are into tarot, new age, wicca etc are narcissists. Mostly covert.
Daniel you are truly a wonderful guy! I wish I had more friends just like you!!!
Really relate to these episodes, especially the aspect of being lied to even after reality has exposed the lie and continuing to believe out of the desperate need to have trust in and protection and love from parents.
Mine betrayed me too. And after she passed away, I found out how dishonest she really was. She not only withheld me sharing in Her family, having a family, she lived off of a gift my Dad left to me when he passed away. I was 7. I never knew about it till I got into her paperwork as I cleaned up her messy lifes papertrail. The biggest kick in the ass was that she knew I'd find out eventually. Disappointing. That's all she ever was. It's a miracle I survived her. On every single level. She got off on watching how damaging her power was. Watch out for a parent who garners pity from every single person they can. I was adopted and I really believe she secretely hated her kids because they made her look bad. I was put down because I spoke up and "wanted" anything.
Man Im so sorry you had such annoying parents, youve used your trauma for good thanks for all the help
I love your analysis and highly respect your honesty and introspection
my mom used to do weird shit like that too to me
Dear Daniel,
I hope that this comment gets to you.
First off, I'm immeasurably indebted to you and your lessons through these videos, sir. I'm grateful to have found this channel. It becomes my voice of reason when I fail to find it elsewhere.
I've a request. I was hoping you'd talk about it but you haven't which leads me to the suspicion that you live in an alternate reality. Because you do like to talk about anything that ails humans.
Can you please do a talk related to the consequences of isolation of the pandemic times? I'd like to hear you talk about it.
Stay well, sir.
Thats why I not long ago gave an open critique to a mother of a nice man, so that he can see what I said about her and can think about it in the future. Hopefully he will see through before she destroys his life.
Holy %^&* .... I have seen a lot of delusional parenting, dangerous parenting, trust-destroying parenting. I have survived my share (I almost died one, two, three, nope four times actually - as a result of this kind of parenting). I was about to say how shocked I was at the level of delusion and neglect you were exposed to, but your story made me remember what I had to deal with and what my friends had to deal with from their parents, hell what my enemies had to deal with from their parents - and what my parents and my grandparents had to deal with and how they barely survived the cruelty and delusions and meanness of their own parents.
3:00 It's the meta-belief that causes the split.
You didn't believe.
You needed to believe.
It's like needing to breathe but not being able to breathe. Holding your breath for 20, 30, 40, years... forever. Until you just die.
Many times we take refuge in judgment because we can't have what it stands in for: trust.
But judgment doesn't keep us warm at night.
So we try and exist in the no-mans-land in between trust and judgement: needing to believe.
Did you cut ties with your family completely?
Honesty can be dangerous because for most people it's too painful. Denial is the medication of choice it seems amongst a lot of us. Denial is the easier route. Honesty is the painful route, but imo the most rewarding one and authentic one. It makes more sense being true to your self than living in your own little false fantasy world, ignoring how you really feel to cater for the external world. Some people just can't handle truth and some hate you when you speak truth, as if it's weak, pointless and something to laugh at and bully you for. Not to mention that some are against feeling. Some hate others for being able to think for them selves and be them selves because they know deep down they aren't even a self them selves. Sounds like your parents envied you. Sounds like they were jealous of your introspect and individualism because they probably knew they weren't even that interesting. Just a clone of all the other narcs that walk the earth.
Beautifully stated! Thank you so much. 🌺🍀🌼
"High Priest of Psychology", lolol I like that, a compliment in disguise really..
The third time my mom blew up my family, she left my dad and I in the middle of the day, when he was at work. I was an adult, living with them while I "fixed my life" (after all the damage during their first divorce--and I DID fix it, as far as school/job went). I slept late, and I know she was hoping to have all of her crap out the door before I got up. But I walked in, in the middle of it. She basically jumped on me, fearing I'd call my dad, begged me not to. She even shed a few tears. I realized later how much distrust this all showed toward me. At 13, I chose to stay with my father in the first divorce she initiated, and I guess that made me a traitor forever.
I was beside myself but agreed to hold her secret. What she didn't tell me is that the rest of my day would be me feeling like a traitorous shyt to my father and wondering how he would react when he got home. Would he go get drunk and kill himself or someone else? Would he just go upstairs and shoot himself? I'd have to find that! Would he collapse on the floor, crying? What the hell was I supposed to do then? We weren't very huggy/feely.
I made sure to be there that evening when he got home so he could hear right away and in person, not from that fracking note she left behind. I even told him what she did to me and that I let her go. I knew it was risky but I just wanted the truth out. His reaction was mad/upset at her but thankfully undramatic. Still, what could have been!
I should mention we found out the next day that my mom ran around and hit all the bank accounts, taking what sounded like MORE than "her half." He was upset that she took some of his inheritance money from my recently-deceased grandmother. He told me a few days later that she gave some of it back, so that confirms she did it. More recently, I realized the amount of planning of all of this must have taken... weeks or months, during which she lived with and interacted with us.
So, of all the things she did, this is the one I can call The Trustbreaker. I never looked at her the same after, even before I cut off communication. A mother that can do THAT...
P.S. My father let her come back again, a few years later. He had just gotten his girlfriend to give up her apartment and to move in with us when my mother agreed. He threw the girlfriend right out. And I liked her more than my own mother. 😕 #RIPAntoinette
P.P.S.: My mother's biggest lie: "This is between your father and I; it has nothing to do with you kids." --said as she was blowing up our family and we were all being damaged.
Thanks for making this video I can relate to your videos ! New subscriber here . I feel like both of my parent were & are both manipultive but my father done it more often .
I loved the last part of the video , yes it is ture , my family doesn't like me when I talk especially when a problem happening or trying to say the truth about them the call me (arrogant ,stubborn) ,but yet when they fail to solve the problem, they start taking the right steps that I told them earlier, I tried to change my way of discussing many times thinking that mabye I am wrong ,and tried many ways with them, but no avail,
Yes true mabye you to good for them , don't doubt yourself when u based on logical and scientific method
In response of the trauma you dissociated/gaslight yourself to survive as a child. Very sad. I did the same. Denied myself/reality. Very difficult to heal from. These parents are monsters.
Ive detached emmotionaly from my parent.
What you described at 6:30 is sooo incredibly relatable for me.
Thanks, very true......
Thank you Daniel! (-;
Hey daniel. I also believe i have narcissistic parents. I am healing and maintaining a distance. That asside, i came to a new theory. As a child were u shunned and attacked for showing anger or frustration from your mother? Even if not directed at her, Just an external situation? Did you feel you had to hide your positive emotions around her cuz thats when the toxic energy from her started? If so I'd say your "masculine energy" was never allowed to express itself. I never "learned" to ask "why"? To dumb stuff or strange things done by my parents. If i did ask why. I never got a response. Just silence. And i never got to ask my father because he would get angry (wounded masculine energy)and i feared him. So i learned to shut up cuz he eventually gave "an answer" anyways because all he did was talk and talk and talk...
The way you describe your mom’s manipulation of you reminds me of what’s currently happening with our political parties and mainstream media. Ex painting a chaotic picture of the world and keeping you in fear. Interesting.
Gaslighting
Your mother was truly disturbed. I sometimes see mothers who let their hand rest between their childs legs. Thats so insane. Should we say something to them?
This was really helpfull... thank you for making great content for us, I really apprieciate it. ♥
The Vulnerable Narcissist in my life tried to convince me she could read my mind and also that she had deep insight on how I was wrong inside (she said the fact I watched cartoons without sound, which I did in order not to wake my brothers up, meant I was really bad and had to "grow up" and "she knew why"). Having had OCD and Depression you can imagine how those things fucked me up in the long run. I was scared to _think_, for _years_, because I had a worrisome feeling someone could be reading my mind, and then I'd start having intrusive "erotic" thoughts about people, which made me feel a lot of shame, and I had to "counter" them by imaginig my body was being torn apart and I was being stabbed, but it only made the thoughts stronger, and worse than that, I knew this was all bullshit but couldn't control. Gosh, OCD can be HELL.
Thank God I figured how to stop it.
I distrusted my father for as long as I can remember.
I wonder if the experience with your mother and your relationship with her make it Hurd for you to trust woman in your life.
I lost trust for most people because of the behavior of both of my parents, and regained a lot of my trust because of the wonderful and trustworthy people I've met along the way (both men and women) and because of the grieving I've done (and thus gaining a self within myself that I could trust...).
Thats sick and insane. Sorry
Thats me, the adults around me during my childhood were all bad actors.
What a nightmare… at least nightmares ends when we wake up but this its a nightmare you never wake up from i dont know what to compare it its so hellish its so demonic life is so fucking sickening and fiendish and twisted like a sick bad psychedelic trip
You're hilarious and fabulous! GREAT to listen to. WONderful storyteller. Hope to see you on stage someday. : ) tedx ?
4:18 that made my mind twist
Does this apply to siblings too?
This video was so triggering for me can relate to some of it
Sounds like BPD to me. Damn.
ma sha ALLAH ALHUMDULLILAH you are a genuine man danielle and may ALLAH SWT bless you always😊 ameen...
Omg, seriously the gum thing. Who does that? She was definitely a nut job. 😂
Inspiring. I got a follow up question: So you say, it's not okay, that your dad defended your mum's shit behaviour and I get that, but at the same time a voice in my head says: "Yeah, but if you blame your partner and call them out for their shit towards your children...doesn't that also confuse the child and potentially hurt it, because it can't keep the connection to the misbehaving parent? And also it could threaten the parents relationship and thereby also hurt the child...." I don't know how screwed up my question is... My natural instinct says, you should try to figure it out with your partner first, but if you don't come to an agreement or can resolve stuff together ideally....well...I couldn't help myself but just being honest to the child, about your different views on that... but I am really unsure. My parents split up when I was three. They always blamed each other, which forced me to take the one side, that was gonna take best (not good) care for me and cut rhe other parent out of my heart, which for many yrs up until this day (I'm 20) in some ways left a deep wound, a split in my personality even. I don't know if that was better than could I have kept seeing and loving my dad. I wonder... And I grief.
I CAN’T TRUST MY FUCKING PARENTS
When you have the capacity to use your intelligence and discrimination, are comfortable with making yourself a priority and having healthy boundaries it will not magically stop the world from being a difficult place and people will generally tend to disappoint you. You simply get tired of making an effort only to be disappointed again and again. There is very little honesty, reciprocity and love in the world. You can be an excellent judge of character and only allow healthy people into your life but that will always be a very small number of people, at several points in your life it may be none. The path of self awareness and personal accountability is a lonely path and can feel very disheartening at times. It is so much easier to fall back on old patterns, they are familiar and comfortable. There are always people whom you can be with when you are willing to play the game and fit in with the herd.
Stoic philosophy helps.
@@threethrushes You can only hold back the feelings for so long. Disavowing your need for love and friendship will only lead to further frustration, anger and disappointment. We are in a very bad place socially. Post modern philosophers would say that we have become a society which only values money, power, status, image and objects. We are increasingly becoming atomized, narcissistic and alienated from one another. Stuffing down or ignoring the feelings only works in the short term. It is not a long term solution.
@@michaeljensen4650 just wait until the politicians are through with us. We will not remember what bonding looks or feels like. We're pushed into screen addiction and social skill degradation.
Oh dear I hope your family does not watch this 😂
A lot of anti-psychiatric information is put out by Citizens Commission on Human Rights and this is founded by
Dr Thomas Szasz who is connected to the Church of Scientology. This in many ways work to delegitimise anti-psychiatry information. Can you please comment on this?
From a New York Times article: In 1969, in a move that damaged his credibility even among allies, he joined with the Church of Scientology to found the Citizens Commission on Human Rights, which portrays the field as abusive and regularly pickets psychiatric meetings.
Dr. Szasz was not a Scientologist himself, and he later distanced himself from the church, but he shared the religion’s critical view of psychiatry.
I consider Thomas Szasz to have been brilliant and I share his point of view of being critical of psychiatry. but I see Scientology as a cult.
@@dmackler58 "Cult" is such a misused word---it can be tricky when speaking of "cults." Almost any venerated individual with a following could be considered a "cult" leader. That would be untrue or rather if it is true, we are iving in a world full of "cults," indeed, the world is a "cult"
No offense, but I don't understand how this videois about regaining trust after betrayal?
....does Daniel read any of the comments ?
Yes, that would be lovely. But I think I understand why he doesn't. Can you imagine how many questions he would get from each of us.☺ He would probably upload less videos just to be able to answer everyone. As much as I would love for him to answer my questions. I rather him post several videos like he does. His videos are a wealth of info and he is able to help many more ppl this way. Not saying that this is why he doesn't answer questions....but just my opinion of why he might choose not to.❤
@@pinkwillow5588 Well said!
I feel like he’s already doing so much by making great videos, and not monetizing them. He doesn’t owe any of us anything.
wandering around in the dark for no reason, trying to make sense on your own, go watch some Jesse Lee Peterson if you want real help, folks.
Spoke with my siblings about my true feelings about my mom, got invalidated. As a kid, I always felt really good keeping things that made me happy a secret, I guess my family has been dysfunctional for longer than I thought. It’s a shame I was deferred from sharing things I was excited about, that’s one of the best things about being a kid.
Any time I shared anything with those people they put shit on it. One example: aged 12, I saw a girl on TV I thought was cute (my age, blonde, sweet smile) and I remarked that I thought she was...Dad sneered: 'She looks like a BOY!' (She didn't at all.) Arseholes.
😢
Well, it was Not intentional.
Unintentional or not, it still doesn't change the negative impact.
If I have kids, I really don’t think that I’d “do” Santa with them. Life is confusing enough. I don’t know how that’s going to impact them.