What the dying taught me about living | Lori Syverson | TEDxEdina
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- Опубліковано 25 чер 2024
- Lori Syverson is a deathwalker. She sits with dying people at the very end stages of life. What she has learned from her patients may help you live a happier and more fulfilling life, free from relationship regrets.
Lori Syverson has been impacting audiences for more than 30 years on topics related to relationships and personal connections. Early in her career she studied human social relationships specifically in the area of male/female platonic friendships. For the last seven years, she has focused her research on the topic of relationship gratitude. She currently volunteers in hospice settings and conducts research about hospice practices around the world.
By day, Syverson is President of the Edina Chamber of Commerce. She has an undergraduate degree in journalism and a master’s degree in business administration. Her background includes print journalism, media relations, marketing and public relations. She has experience actively engaging audiences of all sizes, on radio, television and in personal appearances. She is a member of the Screen Writers Guild (Upper Midwest) and is host of an award-winning local television show in Minnesota.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx
I'm late to the game with this. Your video had me in tears.
I was 18 years old when my mama (grandma) passed away. We moved in with her when I was just a little girl shortly after my grandpa died to try to keep the house in the family. She passed away at exactly 91 and a half.
Two weeks before, I had moved to my dorm room in college, about 45 minutes away. I sobbed and cried to her with my head in her lap before my mom drove me down there. She said I shouldn't be scared and that i was starting a new adventure away from home and that it would all be okay. I think she knew I wasn't crying because I was scared of living "on my own" but that I was scared to leave her.
The Sunday before she passed, I went home like I did the weekend before. She cooked an amazing roast beef dinner with all of my favorite sides. It was delicious. The evening came and I decided it was time to go back to the dorm room. I loved only being 45 minutes from home. I gave her a hug goodbye and said I was call her tomorrow. I waved goodbye to my mom. Before I could leave she yelled at me and said "Go hug your mommy goodbye. She needs a hug too!" My mom and I are close but not the touchy feely kind of close. We both laughed as we hugged each other. As I left, Mama said "don't do anything we wouldn't do" and I joked with my mom and said "would you do Matt?" Who was my extremely attractive RA 😂 my mom laughed.
However, those were the last words my Mama ever said to me. Don't do anything we wouldn't do.
The next day (Monday) I was going to call her and tell her about my day like I said I would. But, I didn't. I told myself that I would call her tomorrow because I was going to be starting my work study job and she would want to know how that went.
Tomorrow never came. She passed Tuesday, September 9th, 2008.
She was my best friend.
A wonderful talk thank you
Coming from a 64 year old cancer patient who’s dying
This was inspiring, thank you 🙏 I regret not telling my best friend of 11 years how much she meant to me. She took her own life in October of 2019. This has made me want to do things differently and change the way I interact with my loved ones.
@Ting-Ting Meng Thank you for sharing this. 💕 sending hugs to you. It is so hard missing them every day and thinking about what we loved about them.
When my beloved grandmother died, I was lucky enough to say goodbye in those final moments, she died in peace and pain free.
Thank you Lori so very much for sharing your story with me. It touched my heart because I could relate to your story. I love my parents dearly, more than myself. They are everything to me. My father just passed away in June 2021 with cancer and my mother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer not long before his passing. I felt numb, fearful and hopeless and helpless watching my father suffered so much before he died. I was so depressed over my actions. But your story was inspiring and I now know what I must do for my mother because I want to be a life walker.
Thank you Lord for the heart that you have given Lori, and the love that she shares with all of those that are in the very last days of their earthly lives.
Well told, inspiring message. Thank you Lori!
Thank you for sharing these important life lessons. When I talk about the importance of vulnerability, I often pull out the superhero cape to emphasize the bravery it takes. So glad you're also out there sharing a similar message.
Powerful talk Lori! Thank you for your inspiring story and the healing that come through your courage to face the death that you avoided with you grandmother. I bet she's proud of the person you have become. Thank you for the work you do as a "death walker" and for reminding us to be "life walkers". I treasure your words and your presence. What a gift you are to this world!
Thank you for sharing your story. The need to retreat really resonated with me and made me cry.
Excellent talk with an important message. Key messages for all of us.
As a nurse who’s worked with hospice and covid patients, we face fear, but we do what we can for these families.
Beautiful ! THANKYOU for sharing ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
this was amazing! thank you so much
Today we call this role, a Death Doula. It brings a sense of the kindness and powerful gifts of a birth doula... and honors the tremendous passage we take at both the beginning and the end of our lives. A great honor & privilege it is to hold space for this being that is at the end, and also a new beginning of their souls journey. Mahalo for being a leader in our culture that has been in reclusion from acknowledging death. Shout out to you, dear one, for also speaking out about vulnerability, before Brené Brown and others brought it to a much wider audience today. 🌟🙏🌟
What a great message It’s so important to pay it forward and to forgive But so hard to do
this needs so many more views than it already has.
This hits home and brings many regrets not being around at final moments. I spent so much of my spare time from teenage years until grandparents death in 1996. Why didn’t I go to the nursing home each day of the final days? I was scared of death too. The people I loved so much and was always there for them. My Grandma loved going to dinner, or lunch, or Long Beach rides. I do have many memories but never said Good bye. That is so sad.
gene978 Write a letter and tell your deceased loved ones how you feel. It will be freeing. Don't beat yourself up over this...can't go back in time although that would be nice sometimes but you can heal your regrets even now. Life is like a butterfly, fragile & fleeting. Don't waste it on regrets. Be Blessed...Be a Blessing
Thank you!
You left a fingerprint on me. Thank you.
Loved your talk it’s a beautiful thing you and I love you for it .❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
You are a giver, thank you. Grandma, I'm sure is smiling down on you.
This was very an important message for me at this time in my life. Thank you for leaving a fingerprint on my soul and, please, believe me when I say that I will be much more cognizant of fingerprints received and fingerprints given from now on. Yours in Gratitude
Great talk . Thank you, bless you. All your dreams come true.
Thank you.
The answer is a resounding yeeeesssssss for your first few questions 😤😤😤
Thanks for sharing your story.
Such great inspirational information, enjoyed your talk.
I like the phrase “ death walker”
Great talk
Always look on the bright side of life....
The Tibetan book of living and dying by sogyal rimpoche please read it is beautiful book pertaining to your field and its about Buddhist way of dealing and helping people to face death
Yes, I am in that situation during this unprecedented time. The CoronaVirus has me held hostage in my home. I'm watching things unfold from my computer monitor at home. 😭
madam you are doing a great job pls read a book by a Buddhist monk sogyal rimpoche called living and death not very sure of book but it will give you some insight as well as it deals with helping people to dying peacefully
LIFE CONSIST OF GIVING NOT GETTING
whati learned from dying person patients help me to be happier and help othersyou find purpose in life
I speak only for myself herein. Leave fingerprints? Like the far majority of us human primates, she is a very kind hearted, well intended person. But leave fingerprints, be vulnerable (& what was the other one in between) is a life Philosophy? No, other than the supposed 15% of us in the population who have some personality or other mental disorder, her short list is already inherent in human nature. Just as regrets are experienced by every single person (other than the 15%). As far as the final stage of dying, there is only one thing I will think of should I be capable to some degree of coherent thought. My two children, who I love more than words can describe. There is no greater love than a parent’s love for their children.
A nurse
The finger print of God on a cross. There is something about the death mechanism He uses to show us something. If He Himself would go through it.
Leave fingerprints, not boot prints.
🐳
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