James Acaster pulls after a gig, plays Twister and has to find a condom - Classic Scrapes

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  • Опубліковано 28 жов 2024
  • In this too rude for radio scrape from the Edinburgh Fringe 2014 Episode 1, James recalls the time he brought a lady back to his flat after a gig and how her wish was his command. Unfortunately it did not end well for James (I think you could have guessed that by now).
    Attention scrapefans! If you're enjoying these videos then you should check out the new book from the Scrapemaster himself, Mr James Acaster. The book contains the full versions of many of the scrapes featured here, plus brand new ones from throughout James's life, and there are drawings too. The book is available in hardback, audiobook and e-book, and can be bought here www.amazon.co.... And if you fancy hearing the scrapes in person why not see James on his Scrapes tour this autumn! www.jamesacaste...

КОМЕНТАРІ • 166

  • @amelie5903
    @amelie5903 4 роки тому +341

    Can we please appreciate what a gentleman James is? The lady was so mean and he STILL made her tea, a bath and played by her rules...and when he said "she is my responsibility" my heart melted

    • @Chigz10
      @Chigz10 4 роки тому +37

      he just really wanted to get laid lmao, every man has been there

    • @parislane43
      @parislane43 3 роки тому +55

      @@Chigz10 you know it's possible to be capable of wanting to get laid but also caring about a woman's wellbeing right

    • @Chigz10
      @Chigz10 3 роки тому +10

      @@parislane43 obviously but if you think her wellbeing was the thing motivating him more than anything then you're naive

    • @58479ishere
      @58479ishere 3 роки тому

      @@parislane43 listen to this guy @Chigz girl. Believe men when they tell you shit about their gender. The dude wanted to fuck & that was his #1 motivation lol

    • @bencastor9207
      @bencastor9207 3 роки тому +1

      @@58479ishere we're not all emotionless droids mate. Ever given a woman a full body orgasm? Doubtful...

  • @zaramalik3797
    @zaramalik3797 5 років тому +292

    Tbh I don't know why everyone's complaining. To me this sounds like the shy,clever & awkard guy telling his drunk friends a story about a girl he met. To which the friends reply in good fashion. Sure, Josh and Nish have crazy laughs, but it's funny and to me adds to the whole effect. Overall a story that should've taken 7 minutes to 20 and everyone's laughing at the end.

    • @nerdychocobo
      @nerdychocobo 4 роки тому +37

      Zara Malik right? It's literally just mates giggling over a stupid story

    • @samuelalexander1014
      @samuelalexander1014 4 роки тому +31

      Init, everyone is always so salty in the comments as if this isn't a podcast full of different comedians and not just some special appreciation show for James.

    • @fro_e
      @fro_e Рік тому

      Dude I wouldn't mind so much if Josh's laugh wasn't literally HURTING MY EARS. I can withstand annoying peopke but I draw the line at physical pain.

  • @wendy8419
    @wendy8419 4 роки тому +262

    James had a 4 year relationship in one night

  • @samuelalexander1014
    @samuelalexander1014 4 роки тому +135

    So funny to hear where James actually got the influence for his competitive twister bit

  • @lilylazer4478
    @lilylazer4478 8 років тому +229

    😂 Poor James! I can't believe anyone would treat him so badly, he's such a sweetie.

  • @anonymous2092
    @anonymous2092 5 років тому +451

    See how Romesh only interrupts when he has something genuinely funny to say...

    • @cordeliax8972
      @cordeliax8972 4 роки тому

      don’t think he was there lmao

    • @swine13
      @swine13 4 роки тому +21

      @@cordeliax8972 then you would be incorrect, lol. Try 8:20 onwards, for example "you need to get out of there" is definitely him. 11:36 as well. He just isnt saying much.

    • @cordeliax8972
      @cordeliax8972 4 роки тому +4

      Lieutenant Luxury oh yeah that’s fair that does sound like him

    • @eleanort3693
      @eleanort3693 4 роки тому +1

      And 7:34

    • @fatmikecj
      @fatmikecj 4 роки тому +16

      Nish and Josh have a lot to learn. Admittedly Josh only interrupts because he's an excitable toddler in an adults body.

  • @hipsterlauda
    @hipsterlauda 8 місяців тому +1

    i love hearing josh just laughing hysterically it absolutely makes these stories

  • @TrenosUK
    @TrenosUK 5 років тому +317

    This would be epic if they animated it like the Ricky Gervais show.

  • @bchearne
    @bchearne Рік тому +8

    One of the best and funniest scrapes ever. James seems to have a charm level of 10, but it comes with a corresponding level of haplessness

  • @merriellegatlin2714
    @merriellegatlin2714 2 роки тому +15

    This poor man he didn’t deserve that. He’s too sweet.

  • @JosephStealin
    @JosephStealin 7 років тому +186

    That is literally the saddest story I’ve ever heard and I volunteer for the Samaritans helpline.

    • @Widdekuu91
      @Widdekuu91 6 років тому +13

      +UA-cam
      Yeah, I agree, it was hilarious up to the 'baby'-part..xD why did she enjoy abusing his friendliness like that...

    • @TheMiist
      @TheMiist 4 роки тому +8

      @@Widdekuu91 Well it's because women are from Venus...

  • @he-mansfurrytrunks4399
    @he-mansfurrytrunks4399 6 років тому +67

    James is the only reason I watch mock the week he’s hilarious and dry as a bone

    • @David-ud9ju
      @David-ud9ju 6 років тому +12

      Yeah, he's the only one on Mock the Week that comes out with intelligent humour; the others just insult politicians and think it's enough.

    • @ronanbugler4319
      @ronanbugler4319 4 роки тому

      And Milton Jones

  • @matteo-kh2yf
    @matteo-kh2yf 2 роки тому +11

    Still one of the best stories I’ve ever heard. Every now and then it pops into my head and I let out a laugh. We all have a moral obligation to show it to anyone who hasn’t heard it yet

  • @mattchappell5727
    @mattchappell5727 8 років тому +86

    This is the greatest thing I have ever heard

  • @alicebrown2393
    @alicebrown2393 8 років тому +237

    James should just have a show about his scrapes

    • @spoop6803
      @spoop6803 5 років тому +16

      Well he has a book now

  • @Iamjustabug
    @Iamjustabug 2 роки тому +11

    James honestly seems like such a sweetheart though

  • @Bcsmith333
    @Bcsmith333 7 років тому +286

    Josh's mic needs to be turned down

  • @RacheleStrata
    @RacheleStrata 7 років тому +48

    love Acaster

    • @Widdekuu91
      @Widdekuu91 6 років тому +3

      +Always
      Exactly. Always.

  • @AnnabellaRedwood
    @AnnabellaRedwood 5 років тому +7

    One of the best scrapes ever!!!!!!

  • @JustSaralius
    @JustSaralius 7 років тому +137

    What a nutcase that woman was!! XD Poor James...
    How does he get into these situations??? And where can I get a boyfriend like him? XD

    • @Widdekuu91
      @Widdekuu91 5 років тому +19

      @Sarah Algelius
      If you find out where to find a James-clone, please inform me about it.

    • @Red-zp2ni
      @Red-zp2ni 4 роки тому +5

      Yes same here

    • @ThirrinDiamond
      @ThirrinDiamond 3 роки тому

      Any luck? 👀

  • @maya9567
    @maya9567 6 місяців тому

    Pure gold! Everytime I listen to it😂😂😂❤

  • @greywhitebloom3338
    @greywhitebloom3338 8 років тому +47

    This is absolutely hilarious

  • @FoolStomper
    @FoolStomper 4 роки тому +19

    As soon as she said “go and get me a Chinese” I woulda told her to get lost and enjoy a cold night on the street 😂

    • @Red-zp2ni
      @Red-zp2ni 4 роки тому +3

      Yes James is such a sweetheart ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

  • @flala2261
    @flala2261 3 роки тому +7

    I wish I had such a readily gleeful + happy laugh like Josh’s

  • @KirstyG64
    @KirstyG64 10 місяців тому

    Fantastic story

  • @miachevaisav2285
    @miachevaisav2285 4 роки тому +4

    James is the best ever

  • @cazkiwinz4300
    @cazkiwinz4300 2 роки тому +5

    I don’t know why I listen to these... well, I do... cos I want to listen to James, but I hate hearing about the other girls he pulls 😂😂😂

  • @swine13
    @swine13 4 роки тому +14

    I dont dislike Josh by any means, but is his entire role in these discussions just to laugh hysterically?

  • @spiralguide
    @spiralguide Рік тому +3

    the attachment style she has needs to be studied by scientists

  • @morgancockram9833
    @morgancockram9833 6 років тому +42

    Josh Widdicombe’s laugh hurts me

    • @Red-zp2ni
      @Red-zp2ni 4 роки тому +3

      Same I am so close to going into a coma

  • @jla98765
    @jla98765 2 роки тому +2

    He just makes me laugh till I cry 😭

  • @cbfedge5593
    @cbfedge5593 5 років тому +21

    I live near Bath. I can vouch that there are plenty of nutcases there 😂

  • @JustAPersonDoingThings
    @JustAPersonDoingThings 7 років тому +22

    CLASSIC Acaster

  • @cycc186
    @cycc186 3 роки тому +4

    Josh and Nish's laugh - so funny

  • @cycc186
    @cycc186 3 роки тому +5

    She turned you down in the end. I can't believe it. I would never change my mind on you.

  • @SKYRIDGENIGERIANDWARFS
    @SKYRIDGENIGERIANDWARFS 4 роки тому +5

    Omg you are the funniest man alive. I want to adopt you,

  • @Widdekuu91
    @Widdekuu91 5 років тому +61

    I don't often get violent feelings.
    But when I do, they're for Josh, during the scrapes.

  • @greigclement9081
    @greigclement9081 3 роки тому +9

    I would say James dodged a bullet, but in this case he came away with a minor flesh wound.

  • @artvid-1915
    @artvid-1915 3 роки тому +5

    That little gasp at 3:19 lolll

  • @nicolaspencer6569
    @nicolaspencer6569 6 років тому +29

    poor james :( i would have showed her the door

    • @Red-zp2ni
      @Red-zp2ni 4 роки тому +1

      I would have kicked her out

  • @coyninho
    @coyninho 7 років тому +175

    If only the others would shut up and let him speak

  • @flysi01
    @flysi01 5 років тому +25

    The lengths lads will go to eh...😂😂😂

  • @Hebdomas
    @Hebdomas 4 роки тому +10

    "you haven't kissed anything beginning with T yet, have you!"

  • @mardanhar82
    @mardanhar82 6 років тому +49

    Is that romesh ranganathan in the background?

    • @nippy29
      @nippy29 6 років тому +3

      Kryptonite Soul I think so it sounds like him

    • @Dylan-fc1ce
      @Dylan-fc1ce 5 років тому +2

      Yeah

  • @maximus5687
    @maximus5687 7 років тому +26

    Josh ruins these. what a silly fucking laugh

    • @spaceboy2889
      @spaceboy2889 Місяць тому

      yes he's a daft bastard for choosing that laugh when he was born. He should change it immediately

  • @em__dash
    @em__dash 5 років тому +8

    "From earth"

  • @user-kp6mt5yv8q
    @user-kp6mt5yv8q 4 роки тому +8

    heavens y e s

  • @kieranhughes4090
    @kieranhughes4090 7 років тому +53

    Will he ever run out of classic scrapes ?

  • @crissy4445
    @crissy4445 4 роки тому +30

    You can tell absolute boomers are in the comments 😂😂 can’t appreciate good banter, they’re just sad they have no mates

  • @FriendlyNeighborhoodMichaelGuy
    @FriendlyNeighborhoodMichaelGuy 4 роки тому +4

    I have 100% met people like this btw so to you all wondering if it's a true story, it is

  • @ZoeThomson00
    @ZoeThomson00 5 років тому +13

    Aw poor James wtf

  • @RC-wy6pz
    @RC-wy6pz 2 місяці тому

    I would love to hear James's entire story,
    but I have to keep pausing it and attempting to return to it later
    because of the
    constant jarring interruption from incredibly loud,
    obnoxious,
    prolonged,
    unhinged
    donkey-braying
    (which presumably is meant to be laughter?)
    but serves only to disrupt
    the flow of the story
    and rip the listener violently
    out of the moment,
    making it difficult to
    focus on,
    follow,
    get carried along with,
    or enjoy
    the fabulous,
    twisting and turning,
    incredibly creative,
    always surprising,
    highly entertaining,
    never disappointing
    mind of James Acaster

  • @chriskaprys
    @chriskaprys 6 років тому +4

    Legend.

  • @smidgens1
    @smidgens1 7 років тому +4

    God the amount of forced laughs is doing my fucking head in

  • @lucasdieugenio507
    @lucasdieugenio507 4 роки тому +2

    Lol if he actually had the condoms from that story he could sell them for a shitton easy XD

  • @Sam1point2
    @Sam1point2 5 років тому +7

    Poor James 😂

  • @jenniferlongmead1748
    @jenniferlongmead1748 4 роки тому +4

    josh's laugh though😂

  • @xxmidnightmoonglowxx
    @xxmidnightmoonglowxx 7 років тому +16

    I'm cringing so much and I don't even know why

    • @Widdekuu91
      @Widdekuu91 6 років тому +3

      +Hannah
      The loud noises, the laughing and the distracting backgroundnoises.

  • @DeLiller40
    @DeLiller40 8 років тому +7

    Who else was in this show? Other than Josh, James, and Nish?

    • @stoprainingonme
      @stoprainingonme 8 років тому +16

      I think it's John Robins.

    • @stoprainingonme
      @stoprainingonme 8 років тому +17

      Also Romesh Ranganathan.

    • @ben1210
      @ben1210 7 років тому +1

      Lilly DoesArtStuff Matthew Crosby from Pappy's

  • @ChrisJohnson-ld3wq
    @ChrisJohnson-ld3wq 3 роки тому +2

    Josh.. JUST STOP LAUGHING!! Urrghh..

  • @mrjules2008
    @mrjules2008 7 років тому +93

    I really like these tales but absolutely hate the laughter from those listening. It's too long and fake.

  • @poppyalice3950
    @poppyalice3950 7 років тому +3

    oh my god

  • @emanonkianols
    @emanonkianols 3 роки тому +2

    16:40 ...is there no 24/7 medical store/pharmacy around? that's a bit weird..

  • @adammm321
    @adammm321 6 років тому +47

    I wish everyone in the background would let him speak, totally ruins the story

    • @anthonyhumphries4002
      @anthonyhumphries4002 5 років тому +7

      100% agree, or at least be funny when they interrupt and stop with them horrendous laughs

    • @Widdekuu91
      @Widdekuu91 5 років тому +4

      @@anthonyhumphries4002
      I'd prefer to listen to Bellatrix and Voldemort laughing at Neville compared to Josh's laugh. That says something.

    • @tylersutherlin2287
      @tylersutherlin2287 4 роки тому +12

      i dont think so its just like when youre telling a story to your mates, they constantly interrupt and its fine

    • @fro_e
      @fro_e Рік тому +1

      ​@Tyler Sutherlin Yeah but my friends aren't comedians on TV. I'd expect people who's career are apparently based on comedy to know that when someone is telling a funny story and you don't have anything funny to add to it you just shut up and let them tell the story.

  • @tasnimnaz7109
    @tasnimnaz7109 5 років тому +4

    11:14 😂😂😂😂

  • @crackersbagina4317
    @crackersbagina4317 4 роки тому +1

    Was her name Charlie??

  • @Dan-zn7pd
    @Dan-zn7pd 6 років тому +15

    Love James but almost had to turn it off listening to Josh’s forced fucking laugh, someone turn the ginger’s mic off?

  • @bob-ng7ol
    @bob-ng7ol 4 роки тому +1

    There isn't an off license opposite that flat so dunno what that's about

  • @LaMisplacer
    @LaMisplacer 4 роки тому +3

    I like these stories of James here....except for Josh's ear-cutting, psycho laugh.

  • @7thDayEndTimes
    @7thDayEndTimes 5 років тому +19

    Josh’s fake laugh is unbearable

  • @randomuploadsism
    @randomuploadsism 4 роки тому +5

    I find this hard to believe - James is an attractive man surely he can’t have been that desperate to sleep with some rando

    • @sophielou2929
      @sophielou2929 3 роки тому +7

      I don't think he was necessarily desperate, more so he s too polite

    • @Artemisdianaxxx
      @Artemisdianaxxx 3 роки тому +8

      People don’t just hookup up with strangers cause they’re desperate. He probably thought it would be fun

    • @randomuploadsism
      @randomuploadsism 3 роки тому +1

      @@Artemisdianaxxx Except this girl doesn't sound fun at all?

    • @jiyu9277
      @jiyu9277 3 роки тому +3

      @@randomuploadsism he said she seemed nice before they got back to the flat

  • @symer1
    @symer1 5 років тому +12

    So funny but the laughter makes it almost unbearable

  • @TheFuzzBassist
    @TheFuzzBassist 5 років тому

    This is a story from an episode of Game On, mid-90s show starring Ben Chaplin.

  • @SugarSnapDragon
    @SugarSnapDragon 3 місяці тому

    Sex is just weird. I've never had a one night stand like that. I've had an 11 hour date that ended in a one night stand, but that's a very different thing. I've never picked up a stranger. The whole idea just feels uncomfortable, but I suppose you might and then try to get yourself comfortable, and then fail to become comfortable, but still feel the need to appear confident and in control of the situation, especially as a woman. But yeah the get me a take away thing is pretty weird. Going to get dinner together seems like the correct course of action. And LIke, maybe join me for a shower as foreplay I can see, but draw me a bath? for a dude you don't even know? I guess she wanted to feel special and pampered, but that's not something you can force on a stranger. Bleh. Sex is weird. Knowing what you want / will want is hard. And trying to force comfort with someone new... I can understand the desire to do that, and the difficulty in our society of acting on your libido in the moment and not wanting to let an opportunity with an exciting stranger go by. The stories movies and tv tell us make it seem like we're supposed to, but you just can't force vibes with a new person that way. And yeah it is a bit weird how sex driven men seem to be. I've only recently accepted that it isn't a myth, and I'm iin my early 40s.

  • @peterfarrabuhk123
    @peterfarrabuhk123 4 роки тому +4

    Josh Widdicombe is fucking unbearable

  • @buddyprowell
    @buddyprowell 3 роки тому +5

    I generally find josh pretty funny.. but his laugh in this particular sample is really just pissing me off. So annoying. So cackly.. It is literally enraging me

  • @petteringemarsson6257
    @petteringemarsson6257 Рік тому +2

    God how they interrupt him. Unbearable.

  • @Harry-tj6bl
    @Harry-tj6bl 6 років тому +34

    I'm not a fan of Nish at all

    • @dwaynedibley3529
      @dwaynedibley3529 6 років тому +4

      Harry Jones his still more funny than josh tho.

  • @Chatch91
    @Chatch91 5 років тому +12

    Nish Kumar is not funny in the slightest. But that's just my opinion...

  • @igotthisphoneright
    @igotthisphoneright 5 років тому +13

    Nish is the least funny person on Tele

  • @adampowers6423
    @adampowers6423 4 роки тому +6

    Nish Kumar is so ridiculously unfunny in these situations..

  • @Johnny-mb9vy
    @Johnny-mb9vy 5 років тому +9

    Nish Kumar is the least funny comedian going. Well, except for Russel Howard

  • @58479ishere
    @58479ishere 3 роки тому

    Lol I really doubt this woman was so terse and controlling (esp the Chinese takout/tea/twister bit) or that even half of the things happened, but grade A storytelling.

  • @melizoi
    @melizoi 6 місяців тому

    jish kumar