This literally came out at the perfect time. Just hours ago my dad came to “talk” with me, telling me that my transness “would not be allowed in his house”. I told him, I am who I am. Thank you Samantha.
im sorry to hear that im sort of going thru a similar situation, but as a gay cis person, i realize that i may not fully understand your struggle since transness isn't something that can be easily hidden or concealed compared to being gay. but either way, just know you aren’t alone
I'm sorry you are experiencing that. You _are_ who you are. My only advice is to stay safe. Being unhoused, abused in any way, regularly invalidated is no small thing. I don't know what your housing and financial situation is, but please look into alternative options and safe places if things get bad/worse. I wish you all the best sibling. You are important and loved.
HI Sam! I just wanted to let you know that i really love your content. Im cis, and for a long time I thought i was really hard to get into the mindset of a tran person and how interacting with gender and society can effect them in the way i wouldn't think of. Your content made me really think about these interactions and help the trans people near me without thinking. It really was the small things and I really love that. So thank you, truly.
Aww. Same girlie. I’m cis too but I grew up with a trans auntie. She was mom’s best friend and like an aunt to me but I still like these channels just to make sure I’m doing my part and being a good ally ❤
@@theavengers01The only one that is kinda true is the last one but she never pushed anyone to sign up for her Patreon, so I don't know what you're talking about.
Hi Samantha, sorry but this is my second comment on your video. I just wanted to update you on my transition. My transition is getting closer, (I'm so excited) I am starting my estrogen in October only 3 months away. I have been going to a voice therapist and pretty much have my feminine voice down pat. I've quit smoking, (over a month now) which before I start my estrogen I need to quit. And I've gotten my A1C down so I'm just about ready there. I've even went to trans meetings her where I live. My head is literally spinning cause things are going so fast. Now if I can have the courage to come out to the world. I'm just wondering if the world is ready for Michaela. Well at least my psychologist thinks I'm ready. You're awesome Samantha Michaela
you're doing great, michaela!! it's always stressful at the beginning but eventually you're going to be so happy you got it over and done with, I'm so proud of you!!
@GodSoLoved.Yeshua this is incredibly rude of you to post under a comment under a trans woman being happy. yall will see a happy person and go "well it's surgical so it doesn't count" and make us feel like crap (but hey, did you know that trans people have been around for centuries? not even all of us get surgery).
i see a lot of people asking about voice feminization, and all I can say is if you really worry about it, theres a famous Korean surgery , I think its called Yeson VFS, the results are the best by far in the whole planet, search the before and afters on UA-cam, theres tons of videos, the voice turns out sounding female, its amazing, you can sing, yell and all
@@ReginaTrans_ That is off-putting to many a person because of risks. I would never do something like that because if they screw up, you can say goodbye to speaking. But I respect those who do. But I personally wouldn't recommend it. 😕
@@ゴグマジオス-h2p not sure, im scared of anesthesia lol, so thats my put off, but overall the people who has done it is great, its a trust worthy huge hospital in Korea
@@theavengers01 Oook, that's a whooole other thing, babes. There's no scientific nor medical basis for being "trans-species". If you are one, seek help.
a positive coming out story to spread trans joy during pride month: i recently came out as trans (genderqueer) to the girl i’m dating and she is super accepting of me! she said she’s attracted to me regardless of my gender identity cus she is bi. she said she wants me to be happy and comfortable and supports me with whatever decisions i make. she said she supports me seeing a doctor/therapist, going on hormones, wearing a binder, experimenting with my wardrobe to find fashion i’m comfortable wearing, choosing a new name, changing my pronouns if i so choose, and all that transition stuff. she said it’s okay to be uncertain or confused with my gender identity cus i was really stressed about it and i have time to figure myself out cus i’m young and don’t have to know everything right away. she was so sweet and listened the entire time i talked about my gender identity. i was explaining the different things that make me dysphoric vs happy and the journey to figuring myself out and all that. she told me that she is not trans so she doesn’t personally relate to me but she knows for sure there are trans people out there who do relate to me and even though she can’t relate she can try to understand me and she’ll support me no matter what which is exactly what i needed to hear during that very vulnerable moment.
On the note having a sibling and support their journey: get excited for them! Like if they would buy an apartment or stuff like that. When I brother transitioned ftm I wanted to show that I’m gonna listen and get exited if he was exited over something. Like when he chose a new name, got new clothes, got a more masculine face, found new friends in the community etc. but also ofc if he want to talk about some other non great stuff you listen and ask questions. Like everything worth celebrating it comes with bad stuff as well ( like planning a wedding, move to a new city, babies etc)
It takes time. When I came out 4 years ago at age 45, my mom (a liberal born and raised in San Francisco!) told me she'd never use a new name or see me as anything but her daughter. It took a few years, some hard conversations and me stepping away from the relationship for a few months, but these days she introduces me as her son and only misgendered/deadnames me truly accidentally. At 80+ years old. There is always hope and time fixes many issues.
@@Encorezero Nope, can't force acceptance on anyone. But imagine if you married someone, say of a different race, and your parent was a bigot who refused to accept that spouse. Would it be "wild" to want that parent to accept your partner? Or is your opinion of what is unreasonable expectations limited to trans folks' identity?
@@Encorezero sure, you dont NEED to accept. but you also dont need to be a dick. if you are a transphobe, whatever, ill never be able to convince you or force you to accept trans ppl. you can feel peer pressured, sure, but i cant physically like, flip a switch in your brain that makes you accepting of trans folks. even if you were peer pressured into publicly accepting them, it wouldnt matter, bc youd be faking and deep down still do not truly accept them. so no, you dont need to accept trans ppl. what you need to do, however, is be human. as you were taught when you were likely 5 or 6, "if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all." maybe the world could be a TEENY bit better if the hate wasn't also shameful, abusive, and demeaning. i don't like tomatoes. however, you don't see me running into everyone's homes and taking the tomatoes out of their kitchens. you don't see me complaining to the waiter at a restaurant that a certain dish comes with tomatoes. you don't see me making disgusting remarks or faces when i see a friend pull out a sandwich that has tomatoes in it. you don't see me complaining 24/7 about how everyone loves tomatoes and how you're all just pretending to like this disgusting food. you don't see me forcing everyone around me to also not eat tomatoes. you don't see me worrying about tomatoes. i don't like them, so i don't think about them. i just simply do not care. and neither should you.
@@Encorezero My mother doesn't have to accept it, but the fact is I'm her daughter not her son and I'm too big for her to hit when she sees me dressed as myself now. So she has the choice of having me in her life as her daughter or not at all. Now I didn't put it to her in those terms, because I'm not a bitch, but that was the decision she was having and even if she isn't happy about it, she decided she wanted to keep a relationship with me. Since then, she's seen how much happier I am now, so she's coming to actually accept it.
Ooo… dang yeah I second that writing a letter to your parents to come out. Cuz my grandparents called me and were asking so many why’s, why I am trans, why I would do this, why I would ever want to “mutilate” my body and mess it all up with drugs- I WAS SO QUAKING IN MY BOOTS LIKE AHH I AM HAPPY WHO I AM TODAY WHY IS THAT NOT ENOUGH?? I have not caused myself any damage on HRT than I have before. So now I’m just writing them a letter, and if they still love me after? Awesome, I’d love that! But I have to accept that their thoughts and feelings are not the end all be all. They can change their mind later in life, they’re fully capable of that. It’s okay not to have a certain family member in your life, as long as you are healthy, safe, and meeting all your basic human needs. Stay safe everyone
Thank you for this, I’m in England and I’m currently terrified about being visibly trans in public, I basically refuse to use gendered areas, but I feel bad taking up disabled spaces, even with my support needs
I too am in England and this was a big fear for me for years and I didn't come out until my late 30s. It's hard to find the confidence but I got there by seeing others being openly trans online on platforms like UA-cam and accepting I just need to be myself if I'm ever going to be happy. I found it easier to do it in stages. I started subtle with my clothes and with my make up, slowly building my comfort in public and confidence levels until I was presenting more. Wish you all of the best.
I love what you said about voice training. My voice is super deep and I’ve never felt a lot of motivation to do anything about it.. it is awkward every once in a while when I get gendered female until I talk, and then they switch, but whatever 🤷🏻♀️
God bless you Samantha, this is the video I've needed to see today. Dysphoria is hitting bad and I am trying to remind myself to be patient and not harsh on myself.
wow the self forgiveness part of the video... 8:43 . Just great. I am a writer, I want to include that bit on my book. Thank you, you are wise and kind. ❤
You Samantha, I admire you doll! you're the best example of the kind of woman I aspire to become! I love ya girlie! I've discovered that just working my butt off (70hrs a week) while saving for surgeries... while my HRT does it's thing for the last 6 months (very effective 👌) has kept me distracted from the transness, and just allowed me to exist. To be a functioning adult human, who happens to be a trans woman! You're the inspiration I love this format, dear Samantha should be a regular show ❤
Love love love this video I love you always helping the community it means so much I am obsessed with all your videos you make me so proud to be a trans woman even though I haven't started my medical transition yet. I loved your ffs video it was so special ❤
I add an extra comment :’). But as a girl, no matter if your CIS or not, DO NOT MEET MEN YOU DONT KNOW IN A UNSAFE ENVIRONMENT. Never. Never. Never. Make sure there is always someone you know that knows who you seeing and where AND when you will expect to be home. Always make sure that there is people around you. Stay safe ❤❤
Hiya Samantha!! I loved reading advice columnists when I read newspapers /magazines. "Dear Phoebe Halliwell"jk id love to see this series called " Dear trans godmother " or if that reads too old " Dear TransSammy"
For voice training reminders, what I do is I set an alarm for my HRT and then do the voice training at that time. I have an audio that I play and speak along. I try to match my voice to the pre-trained version of my voice (me speaking and doing it right). I do a few specific sentences in a loop for a set amount of time.
(Side note: You are even more pretty than usual in this video! I love how your style has been developing.) I'm so excited for your advice column series! I loved your advice about forgiving yourself. I always forget to turn how I would treat others back on myself, but especially in such a nuanced situation like forgiveness. It felt like you really took time to put thought into your responses. Thank you for your videos!
On the subject of looking up to a person you find beautiful who has traits you don't like about yourself. I realized (quite late in life) that I never had a bad opinion about my front teeth gap, because Madonna rocked hers and her and her music were part of my life for a long time! Now I need to look up ppl I find pretty who have thin or small lips and hooded eyelids 😅
8:15 just wanna say that i think not having motivation doesnt mean someone is complacent. I have adhd and i struggle really hard with finding motivation to go to therapy even tho i desperately need it.
For a name, the first thing that came to mind was "Samantha Says!" It sounds cute and then after you talk through the advice you can sum it up with "So Samantha Says _____"
The problem is, my parents don't accept and pretend to understand. They pretend to accept because they hope to continue a relationship with their son (I'm mtf). I hope they'll come around, but it isn't a matter of them not understanding or anything like that
Ppl who call you weird are not not weird, they just put spotlight on you, to deflect from them. That already makes them weird, and also creepy in a way
When it comes to coming out, I recommend looking for signs that your parents are supportive. For me, I would look at my parents reactions to gay or trans people, or I would listen closely on how they feel about them. If it's not a topic that's talked about a lot in your home, I would suggest keeping an eye out for anything on the news, representation in movies, anything. Of course, this could be different for everyone, but this helped me.
@@cluelessmango768 I'm 24, but I wasn't ever raised to know who to call, where to look for things, and I wasn't ever helped with transitioning from Child to Adult. My parents pretty much neglected me in all areas that they was suppose to help me in... because "You're 18 now, we can't help you. You should know how to do it already". Of course, my parents are 60 and 65, so it kind of is expected for them to harbor some idiotic and stupidly lazy parenting rules from their parents, since both of them had terrible parents themselves who neglected and abused even them. I don't have a job, because we live in Suburban Texas, where every job is currently always filled and nobody is willing to hire someone who is 24 and has no experience or past work. This is due to my parents telling me to not get a job until graduation at the age of 19, but even by then nobody would hire me. Then I can't even try Uber or anything because my dad gave away cars he bought me because he never took me to get a license. So, i'm pretty much out of options because I was also forced on some random "Bipolar Medication" as a child, I wasn't suppose to be on, since I wasn't ever diagnosed with it. Which had many negatives like Lack of Sleep, Forgetting to Eat, and Introverted/Pessimistic tendencies... so I never gained any friends throughout my school years. So I have absolutely nobody IRL that could help me out with my situations at all.
8:00 I've had voice dysphoria since I was a little kid honestly but no matter what I try I just feel ridiculous doing voice training, I feel like I'm not getting anywhere and I'm wasting my time. Part of it is ADHD, because it's just such a slow process of doing the same things every day and seeing almost no difference it just doesn't happen. One of the things I've started to do to try and voice train is to find something interesting to read out loud, warm up before hand in the ways I've been taught and then use the methods of - in my case - masculinising while reading like, reddit AITA or UA-cam comments or something. It's usually spontaneous, if I'm about to read something I try to warm up and read it out loud instead of in my head or in my natural voice. That way it isn't a rigid schedule cause like... Rigid schedules don't work for me, I gotta tie a task into another trigger rather than a time of day. I may not get the 10-60mins in every day but it's something and eventually it's gotta pile up. Also, I've tried reframing it to be less important, the pressure of like "I'm crafting my real voice," can feel like a lot but instead if I think of it as just improving my vocal control or even just voice acting training it makes it not so important if I sound dumb or mess up. I don't know if these things will help others in a similar position to me but maybe? It's not always about not wanting it enough but what Sam said is also very true, if you're training because you think you have to but you don't actually care about changing your voice you shouldn't feel pressure to do it unless it's a safety concern. Good luck fellow Rainbows!
This is good advice. Personally i like to find singers with voices that are close to or in my range and then singing along to their songs. I also imitate the voices of fictional characters, it's pretty fun, most importantly it helps me get more comfortable with the "instrument" and its limits y'know? :P
Confession time! I don’t usually comment much about the physical appearance of folx online, because it can come off as objectifying and/or weird. But I was surprised to hear you say that you were insecure about your ears, because I’ve always considered yours particularly gorgeous. Sometimes I squee about them! Just one aspect of what makes you a beautiful complete person. Why I watch is because of your personality and perspectives - but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t notice.
Honestly, dysphoria over my face has been a killer. I want FFS so badly, but the cost is putting it out of reach, I can't leave the house without layers of makeup, and when putting pictures of myself on social media I still need a slight filter to feel comfortable. My friends have told me I'm beautiful, but it's hard to believe them, and even some people have told me I pass, but it's hard to believe that either. Every morning, all I see in the mirror is a big-nosed, big chinned troll, and I cry...... Loving your own features is really hard. At least they've softened somewhat with HRT, but still determined somehow to make FFS happen.....
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. :'3 Only like 3 months on to HRT and my body has definitely been a huge cause of dysphoria. :'3 Just trying to like, make the lower body not so blocky and... man-shaped tbh.
Since you started out referencing Dear Abbey; why no Dear Samantha? I agree with all the advice you gave. I seriously struggle with the parent one, as mine have not been very supportive. But this didn't start with just transition, but instead over a life time. I could just blame on that they just weren't educated (and I wasn't either to be able to explain it to them early on) in such things. But later on, they took on an active role in preventing me from transitioning. Even after I forced it and going against their wishes...they are still the biggest deadnamers in my life. It is so, so hard and disappointing dealing with them. If they were not my parents...I would have dropped them a long time ago. You are very lucky girl growing up in a family that have been very supportive. Our perspectives on that one are drastically different. In retrospect, I am not sure it has be worth it trying to maintain any relationship with them.
Feels like what you use for people to ask you for advice doesn't have much space to type so maybe need to change something to something else for people to have longer questions or more context if they wanted to add any
Hii Samantha! I love this idea for a series have been needing something like this. Do you think you can make a place to submit questions so that you’re not limited to the small character count of Instagram questions and so you don’t have to be public with Twitter? Thanks :)
Big fan of your channel and like this new advice series. I too am struggling with voice training as part of my transition and would love to hear your advice on it in a future video. I'm 1 and half years into my 4 year wait to get into the NHS gender clinic here in the UK so can't get professional help with it yet. I could go private but I can't afford it. Been trying various guides on UA-cam but struggling to understand it all and get overwhelmed.
Good morning Samantha, here's a good name for your column. Ask Samantha, It's simple to the point. I think if anyone can give advice to a trans person or a trans family, it's you Thanks, you're awesome, Michaela ❤
This seems like a really fun series! But I was wondering whether you'd be able to get responses from the UA-cam Community Page, bc personally I don't have Instagram but would love to submit questions!
Im.nonbinary but i havent mention it since i came out cause no one even tried so i figured they would never get it and idk if that means im not nonbinary anymore
... My mom won't even pretend to see me for me. Being respectful without understanding is one thing, but she won't even say she loves me or even sees me as her daughter
This literally came out at the perfect time. Just hours ago my dad came to “talk” with me, telling me that my transness “would not be allowed in his house”. I told him, I am who I am. Thank you Samantha.
That sounds like a horrible experience. Stay strong, millions of trans people stand with you in spirit. 😍💪🤗
im sorry to hear that im sort of going thru a similar situation, but as a gay cis person, i realize that i may not fully understand your struggle since transness isn't something that can be easily hidden or concealed compared to being gay. but either way, just know you aren’t alone
Thank you all for the kind comments. I’ll try to be brave. Things will get better for us. I’ve survived this long.
I’m sorry you were told that, stay strong and resilient, things will get better for you in the future, they won’t stay this way forever
I'm sorry you are experiencing that. You _are_ who you are. My only advice is to stay safe. Being unhoused, abused in any way, regularly invalidated is no small thing. I don't know what your housing and financial situation is, but please look into alternative options and safe places if things get bad/worse. I wish you all the best sibling. You are important and loved.
I kinda like 'Samantha Says' as a name for this problem page segment.
Love it ❤🎉
Samantha says human can transition into cat
@Encorezero uhh based???
With an "L" hidden behind the "S" and the "A" of "Says"?
@@schoolfreak32 that would work.
My name suggestion is Samantha Lux's Advice for You, abbreviated to SLAY.
i would trust her around my kids
@@theavengers01that has nothing to do with what I said, and if you don't trust her you can just leave
THIS!
@theavengers01 girl did you edit your comment to replace "wouldn't" with "would" so that the commenter directly below you would look crazy 😭😭😭
HI Sam! I just wanted to let you know that i really love your content. Im cis, and for a long time I thought i was really hard to get into the mindset of a tran person and how interacting with gender and society can effect them in the way i wouldn't think of. Your content made me really think about these interactions and help the trans people near me without thinking. It really was the small things and I really love that. So thank you, truly.
Aww. Same girlie. I’m cis too but I grew up with a trans auntie. She was mom’s best friend and like an aunt to me but I still like these channels just to make sure I’m doing my part and being a good ally ❤
I felt lost for years but watching Sams videos saying 'white people bad,' 'f*ck the Australians' and 'give me money' completed my life
@@theavengers01 ...is this supposed to be a joke?
@@theavengers01The only one that is kinda true is the last one but she never pushed anyone to sign up for her Patreon, so I don't know what you're talking about.
@@kudosforkai888 dude is malding, look at his comments lmao
Hi Samantha, sorry but this is my second comment on your video. I just wanted to update you on my transition. My transition is getting closer, (I'm so excited) I am starting my estrogen in October only 3 months away. I have been going to a voice therapist and pretty much have my feminine voice down pat. I've quit smoking, (over a month now) which before I start my estrogen I need to quit. And I've gotten my A1C down so I'm just about ready there. I've even went to trans meetings her where I live. My head is literally spinning cause things are going so fast. Now if I can have the courage to come out to the world. I'm just wondering if the world is ready for Michaela. Well at least my psychologist thinks I'm ready.
You're awesome Samantha
Michaela
Im so happy for u!❤ i wish for you the best and that you will become the woman you were always meant to be ❤❤btw i need to quit smoking too😂
you're doing great, michaela!! it's always stressful at the beginning but eventually you're going to be so happy you got it over and done with, I'm so proud of you!!
It's not a feeling, 👩♀️ have a vag.
Why did Sam invert her P? Because it's not a social construct.
♀️ Have a V, an inverted P is not a V.
@GodSoLoved.Yeshua this is incredibly rude of you to post under a comment under a trans woman being happy. yall will see a happy person and go "well it's surgical so it doesn't count" and make us feel like crap (but hey, did you know that trans people have been around for centuries? not even all of us get surgery).
"Dear Samantha" has such a nice ring to it
This 100%
oh nah, i forgot my UA-cam name is deadnaming me 💀
@@mikaelasimonsen2017change it lol
Samanswers
This came out as i was thinking about this exact thing.
i see a lot of people asking about voice feminization, and all I can say is if you really worry about it, theres a famous Korean surgery , I think its called Yeson VFS, the results are the best by far in the whole planet, search the before and afters on UA-cam, theres tons of videos, the voice turns out sounding female, its amazing, you can sing, yell and all
@@ReginaTrans_ That is off-putting to many a person because of risks. I would never do something like that because if they screw up, you can say goodbye to speaking. But I respect those who do. But I personally wouldn't recommend it. 😕
@@ゴグマジオス-h2p not sure, im scared of anesthesia lol, so thats my put off, but overall the people who has done it is great, its a trust worthy huge hospital in Korea
@@ゴグマジオス-h2p it’s a well known hospital in Korea
The Queen has posted
🙇🙌
yaaaassssss queen for saying people can become cats or dogs
@@theavengers01 Oook, that's a whooole other thing, babes. There's no scientific nor medical basis for being "trans-species". If you are one, seek help.
@@theavengers01 strawmaning as usual I see?
@@WhooshWh0sh parents put a stop to it, lol you mad woof woof
a positive coming out story to spread trans joy during pride month: i recently came out as trans (genderqueer) to the girl i’m dating and she is super accepting of me! she said she’s attracted to me regardless of my gender identity cus she is bi. she said she wants me to be happy and comfortable and supports me with whatever decisions i make. she said she supports me seeing a doctor/therapist, going on hormones, wearing a binder, experimenting with my wardrobe to find fashion i’m comfortable wearing, choosing a new name, changing my pronouns if i so choose, and all that transition stuff. she said it’s okay to be uncertain or confused with my gender identity cus i was really stressed about it and i have time to figure myself out cus i’m young and don’t have to know everything right away. she was so sweet and listened the entire time i talked about my gender identity. i was explaining the different things that make me dysphoric vs happy and the journey to figuring myself out and all that. she told me that she is not trans so she doesn’t personally relate to me but she knows for sure there are trans people out there who do relate to me and even though she can’t relate she can try to understand me and she’ll support me no matter what which is exactly what i needed to hear during that very vulnerable moment.
do you sell pegs?
Have you considered animal gender like cat, goat or sheep.
@@Encorezeroyou seem to have mistaken gender for fucking species m8
i for one think thats a beautiful story to share
On the note having a sibling and support their journey: get excited for them! Like if they would buy an apartment or stuff like that. When I brother transitioned ftm I wanted to show that I’m gonna listen and get exited if he was exited over something. Like when he chose a new name, got new clothes, got a more masculine face, found new friends in the community etc. but also ofc if he want to talk about some other non great stuff you listen and ask questions.
Like everything worth celebrating it comes with bad stuff as well ( like planning a wedding, move to a new city, babies etc)
Is your sibling transitioning into a cat
My mother's just pretending to accept me as her daughter. But over time, it's getting more and more actual acceptance.
It takes time. When I came out 4 years ago at age 45, my mom (a liberal born and raised in San Francisco!) told me she'd never use a new name or see me as anything but her daughter. It took a few years, some hard conversations and me stepping away from the relationship for a few months, but these days she introduces me as her son and only misgendered/deadnames me truly accidentally. At 80+ years old. There is always hope and time fixes many issues.
Why do they need to accept it, lol forcing things on people is wild
@@Encorezero Nope, can't force acceptance on anyone. But imagine if you married someone, say of a different race, and your parent was a bigot who refused to accept that spouse. Would it be "wild" to want that parent to accept your partner? Or is your opinion of what is unreasonable expectations limited to trans folks' identity?
@@Encorezero sure, you dont NEED to accept. but you also dont need to be a dick. if you are a transphobe, whatever, ill never be able to convince you or force you to accept trans ppl. you can feel peer pressured, sure, but i cant physically like, flip a switch in your brain that makes you accepting of trans folks. even if you were peer pressured into publicly accepting them, it wouldnt matter, bc youd be faking and deep down still do not truly accept them. so no, you dont need to accept trans ppl. what you need to do, however, is be human. as you were taught when you were likely 5 or 6, "if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all." maybe the world could be a TEENY bit better if the hate wasn't also shameful, abusive, and demeaning.
i don't like tomatoes. however, you don't see me running into everyone's homes and taking the tomatoes out of their kitchens. you don't see me complaining to the waiter at a restaurant that a certain dish comes with tomatoes. you don't see me making disgusting remarks or faces when i see a friend pull out a sandwich that has tomatoes in it. you don't see me complaining 24/7 about how everyone loves tomatoes and how you're all just pretending to like this disgusting food. you don't see me forcing everyone around me to also not eat tomatoes. you don't see me worrying about tomatoes. i don't like them, so i don't think about them. i just simply do not care.
and neither should you.
@@Encorezero My mother doesn't have to accept it, but the fact is I'm her daughter not her son and I'm too big for her to hit when she sees me dressed as myself now. So she has the choice of having me in her life as her daughter or not at all. Now I didn't put it to her in those terms, because I'm not a bitch, but that was the decision she was having and even if she isn't happy about it, she decided she wanted to keep a relationship with me. Since then, she's seen how much happier I am now, so she's coming to actually accept it.
As a trans woman myself, you are GOALS, darling. ❤
Your slaying
You’re still a man ❤
@@amexoxo who you? leave this lovely woman alone.
@@amexoxo Congratulations! You called her a “man” your grand prize is…
Nothing. Whatsoever.
So why was it so important to say in the first place?
@@amexoxo We're still happier than you'll ever be ❤
More! More! More!
Samantha, you helped me accept myself as trans, but my confidence levels are 0.5/10!
Send your girl more of these viiiiiiiiiiids
For confidence increase become a cat and then defecate in litter tray in public. Like Sam suggests
I love the makeup. Honestly, I'd like to see her make a tutorial
She's made a few before
I'm pretty sure I found her by searching for trans makeup tutorials when I first came out
Does she do makeup tutorial for people who identify as cat or dog
@@Encorezero Go away. None of us identify as animals. That is not even under the trans umbrella
@@Encorezeroi believe the medical term is transphobic troll
just another tgirl showing support🥰 LOVE that you're doing this , we need all the info we can share with each other
Ooo… dang yeah I second that writing a letter to your parents to come out. Cuz my grandparents called me and were asking so many why’s, why I am trans, why I would do this, why I would ever want to “mutilate” my body and mess it all up with drugs-
I WAS SO QUAKING IN MY BOOTS LIKE AHH I AM HAPPY WHO I AM TODAY WHY IS THAT NOT ENOUGH?? I have not caused myself any damage on HRT than I have before. So now I’m just writing them a letter, and if they still love me after? Awesome, I’d love that! But I have to accept that their thoughts and feelings are not the end all be all. They can change their mind later in life, they’re fully capable of that. It’s okay not to have a certain family member in your life, as long as you are healthy, safe, and meeting all your basic human needs.
Stay safe everyone
Thought this said it came out 6 months ago and I was very concerned as to why it had only 190 views
channel does have decling views though
Leave her alone.
@@Chistinedaae ??
@@moilabrosinc.5641 Not you
Thank you for this, I’m in England and I’m currently terrified about being visibly trans in public, I basically refuse to use gendered areas, but I feel bad taking up disabled spaces, even with my support needs
I too am in England and this was a big fear for me for years and I didn't come out until my late 30s. It's hard to find the confidence but I got there by seeing others being openly trans online on platforms like UA-cam and accepting I just need to be myself if I'm ever going to be happy.
I found it easier to do it in stages. I started subtle with my clothes and with my make up, slowly building my comfort in public and confidence levels until I was presenting more. Wish you all of the best.
I love what you said about voice training. My voice is super deep and I’ve never felt a lot of motivation to do anything about it.. it is awkward every once in a while when I get gendered female until I talk, and then they switch, but whatever 🤷🏻♀️
Love your video! Shout out from Feminization Lab!
natural women must be your kryptonite
Do you think person can become cat
“Samantha Opens Up” lmao probably gives the wrong impression for your series. On serious note, love your videos! Inspired me to start my own channel 🩵
In some countries people eat cats in America lgb people can become cat
@@Encorezero Eww, more misinformation. Educate yourself.
@@valerieborgoe have you not seen the therians
@@Encorezero Don't compare that to being trans. Totally different thing. Trans people experience gender dyphoria.
I admire and envy your confidence, Samantha.
lol why shes hates little people from the Gambia
God bless you Samantha, this is the video I've needed to see today. Dysphoria is hitting bad and I am trying to remind myself to be patient and not harsh on myself.
wow the self forgiveness part of the video... 8:43 . Just great. I am a writer, I want to include that bit on my book. Thank you, you are wise and kind. ❤
You’re one of my favorite UA-camrs! Love you! ❤🥰
hilarious stuff
your makeup is really stunning.
high standards haha
@@theavengers01 dont be so hard on yourself. what are you watching a video if offended? that is just stupid
You Samantha, I admire you doll! you're the best example of the kind of woman I aspire to become! I love ya girlie!
I've discovered that just working my butt off (70hrs a week) while saving for surgeries... while my HRT does it's thing for the last 6 months (very effective 👌) has kept me distracted from the transness, and just allowed me to exist. To be a functioning adult human, who happens to be a trans woman! You're the inspiration
I love this format, dear Samantha should be a regular show ❤
I love how your brother stood up for you when people were being mean to you.
Love love love this video I love you always helping the community it means so much I am obsessed with all your videos you make me so proud to be a trans woman even though I haven't started my medical transition yet. I loved your ffs video it was so special ❤
I add an extra comment :’). But as a girl, no matter if your CIS or not, DO NOT MEET MEN YOU DONT KNOW IN A UNSAFE ENVIRONMENT. Never. Never. Never. Make sure there is always someone you know that knows who you seeing and where AND when you will expect to be home. Always make sure that there is people around you. Stay safe ❤❤
This timing is amazing- I just saw this right after I came out a bit earlier today, June 27, 2024
Hiya Samantha!! I loved reading advice columnists when I read newspapers /magazines. "Dear Phoebe Halliwell"jk id love to see this series called " Dear trans godmother " or if that reads too old " Dear TransSammy"
Great as always!!
For voice training reminders, what I do is I set an alarm for my HRT and then do the voice training at that time. I have an audio that I play and speak along. I try to match my voice to the pre-trained version of my voice (me speaking and doing it right). I do a few specific sentences in a loop for a set amount of time.
(Side note: You are even more pretty than usual in this video! I love how your style has been developing.) I'm so excited for your advice column series! I loved your advice about forgiving yourself. I always forget to turn how I would treat others back on myself, but especially in such a nuanced situation like forgiveness. It felt like you really took time to put thought into your responses. Thank you for your videos!
Did you bang head
THIS IS THE PERFECT TIMING......my family is struggling to accept me but this is gonna help soooooo much thankuuuu soooo much Samantha 😭🫂💖🎀
Hiiiii Samantha 💚 Thank you for this video.. it was definitely a video I needed. You are amazing, love yaaaa 😋💜
I’m a cis lesbian and you are my comfort youtuber
I really liked hearing the story of your siblings taking caring of you, each in their way
On the subject of looking up to a person you find beautiful who has traits you don't like about yourself. I realized (quite late in life) that I never had a bad opinion about my front teeth gap, because Madonna rocked hers and her and her music were part of my life for a long time!
Now I need to look up ppl I find pretty who have thin or small lips and hooded eyelids 😅
8:15 just wanna say that i think not having motivation doesnt mean someone is complacent. I have adhd and i struggle really hard with finding motivation to go to therapy even tho i desperately need it.
yes pay someone to tell you, you can become a cat or dog
@@theavengers01 huh?
@@orion.6 ignore them, they're a troll doing troll things
@@theavengers01your sense of humor seems even worse than your iq
I’ve been looking for something like this for a while! I asked, and I have received!! This is gonna be so helpful!!
I remember the advice column in the newspaper growing up in the 90s that was always the best part of the newspaper
You give really great advice.
If anyone knows the voice-training audio she was talking about i would love to know. I stuggle so much with voice training 😢
i might be trans, i’m not sure yet, but i love your videos! they are very informative and i love watching your videos when im having a bad day. ❤
some people are trans 3 days a week and not the other 4 days, you should do that
You're not, ♀️👩 have a V
👨♂️ Have a P
It's really that simple.
For a name, the first thing that came to mind was "Samantha Says!" It sounds cute and then after you talk through the advice you can sum it up with "So Samantha Says _____"
Or maybe "Good Lux" so you can end with that - it sounds cute :)
@@maskedbandit189or maybe 'Samantha encourages kids to become animal gender'
@@Encorezero Youre weird
This has come out perfectly in time, thank the heavens for you Samantha ❤️
I love you girlyyy thank you so much for this advice, I aspire to be just like you
The problem is, my parents don't accept and pretend to understand. They pretend to accept because they hope to continue a relationship with their son (I'm mtf). I hope they'll come around, but it isn't a matter of them not understanding or anything like that
Ppl who call you weird are not not weird, they just put spotlight on you, to deflect from them. That already makes them weird, and also creepy in a way
When it comes to coming out, I recommend looking for signs that your parents are supportive. For me, I would look at my parents reactions to gay or trans people, or I would listen closely on how they feel about them. If it's not a topic that's talked about a lot in your home, I would suggest keeping an eye out for anything on the news, representation in movies, anything. Of course, this could be different for everyone, but this helped me.
Take them to pride so they can watch you get bummed, slay queen
never even heard of you but this was great. helpful. a little empowering even.
Been waiting for this for a LOOOONG time so thank you❤
How do I get my Transphobic Family to support my Trans Woman identity?
blame white people
Tungsten rods
I'm pre-transition, and I started to get into the process really late because of all the unsupportive comments.
@@cluelessmango768 I'm 24, but I wasn't ever raised to know who to call, where to look for things, and I wasn't ever helped with transitioning from Child to Adult. My parents pretty much neglected me in all areas that they was suppose to help me in... because "You're 18 now, we can't help you. You should know how to do it already".
Of course, my parents are 60 and 65, so it kind of is expected for them to harbor some idiotic and stupidly lazy parenting rules from their parents, since both of them had terrible parents themselves who neglected and abused even them.
I don't have a job, because we live in Suburban Texas, where every job is currently always filled and nobody is willing to hire someone who is 24 and has no experience or past work. This is due to my parents telling me to not get a job until graduation at the age of 19, but even by then nobody would hire me. Then I can't even try Uber or anything because my dad gave away cars he bought me because he never took me to get a license.
So, i'm pretty much out of options because I was also forced on some random "Bipolar Medication" as a child, I wasn't suppose to be on, since I wasn't ever diagnosed with it.
Which had many negatives like Lack of Sleep, Forgetting to Eat, and Introverted/Pessimistic tendencies... so I never gained any friends throughout my school years. So I have absolutely nobody IRL that could help me out with my situations at all.
An identity is not reality.
You can't force people accept your view.
“The Lux Life” Loving Advice with Samantha Lux ✨🖤✨🖤✨🖤✨
Love your content!
What do you think about the name "Luxurious You", where Samantha gives advice to help others become their most luxurious selves
8:00 I've had voice dysphoria since I was a little kid honestly but no matter what I try I just feel ridiculous doing voice training, I feel like I'm not getting anywhere and I'm wasting my time. Part of it is ADHD, because it's just such a slow process of doing the same things every day and seeing almost no difference it just doesn't happen.
One of the things I've started to do to try and voice train is to find something interesting to read out loud, warm up before hand in the ways I've been taught and then use the methods of - in my case - masculinising while reading like, reddit AITA or UA-cam comments or something. It's usually spontaneous, if I'm about to read something I try to warm up and read it out loud instead of in my head or in my natural voice. That way it isn't a rigid schedule cause like... Rigid schedules don't work for me, I gotta tie a task into another trigger rather than a time of day. I may not get the 10-60mins in every day but it's something and eventually it's gotta pile up.
Also, I've tried reframing it to be less important, the pressure of like "I'm crafting my real voice," can feel like a lot but instead if I think of it as just improving my vocal control or even just voice acting training it makes it not so important if I sound dumb or mess up.
I don't know if these things will help others in a similar position to me but maybe? It's not always about not wanting it enough but what Sam said is also very true, if you're training because you think you have to but you don't actually care about changing your voice you shouldn't feel pressure to do it unless it's a safety concern. Good luck fellow Rainbows!
This is good advice. Personally i like to find singers with voices that are close to or in my range and then singing along to their songs.
I also imitate the voices of fictional characters, it's pretty fun, most importantly it helps me get more comfortable with the "instrument" and its limits y'know? :P
Sam’s Savory Advice, regardless of what it is it sounds SO fun!!!
i like her advice like saying date pets like cat or dog
@@theavengers01attention is one hell of a drug huh?
What’s not to like about Samantha she’s awesome
Samantha, thank you so much for this video! It is a great and different video. It really helped me! ❤
Confession time! I don’t usually comment much about the physical appearance of folx online, because it can come off as objectifying and/or weird. But I was surprised to hear you say that you were insecure about your ears, because I’ve always considered yours particularly gorgeous. Sometimes I squee about them! Just one aspect of what makes you a beautiful complete person. Why I watch is because of your personality and perspectives - but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t notice.
I love this Ask Sam episode!!!! Do more please
This was a surprisingly good video, thanks
Thank you for making this 🩷🩷🩷🌸
Your hair looks amazing queen
Drag queen 😂
Honestly, dysphoria over my face has been a killer. I want FFS so badly, but the cost is putting it out of reach, I can't leave the house without layers of makeup, and when putting pictures of myself on social media I still need a slight filter to feel comfortable. My friends have told me I'm beautiful, but it's hard to believe them, and even some people have told me I pass, but it's hard to believe that either.
Every morning, all I see in the mirror is a big-nosed, big chinned troll, and I cry......
Loving your own features is really hard.
At least they've softened somewhat with HRT, but still determined somehow to make FFS happen.....
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. :'3 Only like 3 months on to HRT and my body has definitely been a huge cause of dysphoria. :'3 Just trying to like, make the lower body not so blocky and... man-shaped tbh.
so pretty
after 10 years not bad
You should make it a google form so people can ask longer questions
Since you started out referencing Dear Abbey; why no Dear Samantha?
I agree with all the advice you gave. I seriously struggle with the parent one, as mine have not been very supportive. But this didn't start with just transition, but instead over a life time. I could just blame on that they just weren't educated (and I wasn't either to be able to explain it to them early on) in such things. But later on, they took on an active role in preventing me from transitioning. Even after I forced it and going against their wishes...they are still the biggest deadnamers in my life. It is so, so hard and disappointing dealing with them. If they were not my parents...I would have dropped them a long time ago. You are very lucky girl growing up in a family that have been very supportive. Our perspectives on that one are drastically different. In retrospect, I am not sure it has be worth it trying to maintain any relationship with them.
Feels like what you use for people to ask you for advice doesn't have much space to type so maybe need to change something to something else for people to have longer questions or more context if they wanted to add any
Luxurious advice
Love this so much!!
Yay I’m here under an hour!
hadn’t watched ur videos in a while and just wanted to say you look very pretty with braces
Hii Samantha! I love this idea for a series have been needing something like this. Do you think you can make a place to submit questions so that you’re not limited to the small character count of Instagram questions and so you don’t have to be public with Twitter? Thanks :)
Big fan of your channel and like this new advice series. I too am struggling with voice training as part of my transition and would love to hear your advice on it in a future video. I'm 1 and half years into my 4 year wait to get into the NHS gender clinic here in the UK so can't get professional help with it yet. I could go private but I can't afford it. Been trying various guides on UA-cam but struggling to understand it all and get overwhelmed.
Good morning Samantha, here's a good name for your column. Ask Samantha, It's simple to the point. I think if anyone can give advice to a trans person or a trans family, it's you
Thanks, you're awesome,
Michaela ❤
I love your videos but they make me feel sooooo… old (lol). Keep up the great work!
This seems like a really fun series! But I was wondering whether you'd be able to get responses from the UA-cam Community Page, bc personally I don't have Instagram but would love to submit questions!
Just what I needed to feel better
YAAAASSS I love this!
How about "Samantha spills"?
I think maybe Ask Samantha would be nice or Samantha’s Advice Column
Edit: also, how do you submit a question?
It was on her Instagram story
The name QueerNA stood out (don’t exactly fit)
My advice: Listen to Samantha 😂❤
I adore you and this idea 🎉🎉🎉🎉 as for a name, I'm thinking on it.... Samantha says... or Samantha Lux 's letters.... I'm not sure
Samantha you should call these 'Samantha's services'
This article was usually called "Dear Abby" I think you should go with "Dear Sammy"
Love it!
Im.nonbinary but i havent mention it since i came out cause no one even tried so i figured they would never get it and idk if that means im not nonbinary anymore
I wish I can move to Massachusetts
i just recently realized i’m genderqueer so i need this
Does that involve animals?
@@Encorezerono
Leave people alone and in peace
What does that even mean?
Any advice on eliminating facial hair without irritating my skin? (Before being able to afford electrolysis/laser)
You're not a mistake,
Altering your natural features will not make you a 👩♀️
Wom... Have a V.
Samantha's Suggestions
... My mom won't even pretend to see me for me. Being respectful without understanding is one thing, but she won't even say she loves me or even sees me as her daughter
Hello my name is olivia and I am a transgender woman and im planning on coming out to my dad but im nervous about it
You should interview Kennedy for tbe trans community
I can tall that this world need sound which is calm and logical