I love when Austin makes jokes and Jared either doesn't hear them or they fly over his head and Austin is left with this "well clearly that wasn't well received" look on his face. Don't worry, Austin, we see what you did there. One of the funniest people on youtube imo. Lmao.
Here’s my confession, when I was a teen I stole my dads credit card and ordered the parts and tools to build my own guitar, it ended up costing about 500 quid. This guitar has been by my side ever since I build it and i named it after his company.
ive been watching dickey dines for years and this was one of the funniest videos. i was laughing the whole time. when Austin said " i didnt call her that because im not a monster" i almost shit myself
Speaking of geese... Up until I was about 5 years old I lived in a small town in Ohio. Down the street from my house was this park and next to it was was a pond where geese and ducks can swim or whatever. One day my parents were were working later than expected and I had to have a baby sitter for the rest of the day. There wasn't much we could do at the house so he took me to the park. The pond that was next to it had a large amount of geese that day and most of them were in the water and the others were laying on the grass. I was very curious as a kid so I walked over there to pet the geese bc I thought that was the normal thing to do. So I'm petting the goose and I noticed that there was something sticking out between his legs. Like I said, I was a very curious child and I started to grab it and play with it. Apparently the goose really liked it c it started honking and making all these noises. My babysitter saw what was going on and quickly ran over to me and picked me up to take me home. The goose wasn't done and started chasing after us with a full on boner. We just barely made it to the car and drove home. I soon realized that it wasn't right and felt horrible and we both agreed to never talk about it again. I that ladies and gentlemen is the story the time I jacked off a goose
The peephole peeping: the picture part is the Amazon driver takes a picture of the package on the door step and the pic is included in the "your order has arrived" alert.
And, yes, Dickey, cobras ARE innocent. The only creature capable of malicious intent is man. When animals kill, it's always out of self preservation, or, need.
18:50 Uber eats driver here: it's more likely that the restaurant made your order wrong and the driver didn't/couldn't check. Uber/restaurants/some customers are HUGE sticklers about drivers checking contents in a bag. Like, not even opening the food container to make sure the food is there, literally just opening the bag that the container is HELD in and looking. All of the fast food restaurants tape/staple their bags closed and tell the customer to report the driver for tampering with their food if the sticker/bag is disturbed in some way. I was hit with a very serious warning telling me I could lose my delivery privileges just for peeking in a bag to make sure the person's drink was in there. Bonus, it wasn't. So I kept them from getting an incorrect order and got punished for it. So a lot of drivers just give up on checking food completely, it's just way too risky. As for the morphine part, rectal administration of drugs is much more effective per dose than oral administration and insufflation. When taken rectally, the drug is absorbed into the bloodstream much more quickly and is affected less by stomach acids and other filtration methods that the body has for filtering out unwanted chemicals in things you ingest normally. It's basically injecting the drug for people who are scared of needles.
He might not be able to afford it. I was actually just reading bit this (coincidentally) it usually costs several thousand and is typically not covered by insurance
I had a phimosis, cured it by myself without any doctors help. There's lots of tips on the internet. The foreskin is stretchable, with some everyday practice in your bath/shower you can get rid of it pretty quickly but mine might not have been as tight as his.
I hope the guy with phimosis got told that it is super treatable by getting circumcised PLUS that doctors recommend doing this for general genital hygiene.
9:30 nah, the guy is saying when the delivery people take the picture of the package they delivered, which is now required for all Amazon deliveries. So he isn't taking pics he's just watching
As a former fast food employee, I can tell you this for sure. If someone used a tampon to write on the bathroom walls, it would have elicited no more than a sigh, and an eyeroll. We are used to FAR worse than that; trust me. Everyone should have to work fast food, at least for a few months; it'll slap that sense of entitlement right out of your hands! I have some GREAT stories!
Haha. I had a rich girl working for me and I was training her and was like "alright time to clean the bathrooms, let's go" She looked at me and said "I don't do bathrooms." Took her apron off and left.
@@jesseashford3949 Oh, man. Like I said, I have STORIES. I had to clean men's and women's bathrooms every hour or so, and...the horrors!!! Let's just say I worked the night shift at the busiest of our stores in town, and lots of drunks came in...
Oh shit... That newborn chicken one reminded me when I was a kid when we lived on a farm I saw a hen and her chicks following her I took the two that was falling behind,one in each hand and I showed it to my mama "she said to put em back" so I did... then I found out *I accidentally crippled both of them*
I played CoD with a guy from Great Britain, he had phimosis. He complained that his head was abnormally huge and his foreskin would rip and crack during sex trying to go over the head. He got a circumcision and said he it changed his life, said now he can't get enough sex.
The peephole peeping thing...you know what would be cool? Waiting for the delivery guy to come to the door then peeing on him through the lock. I call it peephole peeing.
I don't understand why drivers do that. As a driver myself, I notice that occasionally customers don't come to the door to get their food, so I get to keep it and get paid for the delivery anyway. Last night I got a nice ass club hoagie and a chicken quesadilla 😍😍
About a year ago I too went on a date with a girl I thought was single. About half way through the date she mentioned this other guy a couple times. I quickly put 2 and 2 together and realized she was taken. Knowing this though I kept talking to her and going out with her. After about a month of talking for what it seemed weeks straight she broke up with her boyfriend. We have now been dating for close to a year and couldn’t be happier.
I wouldn't get "fully circumcised," but the tight muscle band is pretty much right at the end of the foreskin from what I understand (I'm not a doctor). In that case I would opt for a "semi-circumcision," just a little off the top, but still leaving plenty of natural slinky slack.
19:28 ordered food from this Hawaiin place through Door Dash the app said the food was delivered but I didn't get my food. This happened a total of 3 times and each time I called the support line and got refunded once and credit the other two times. It must have been the same driver because after the third time it stopped.
I don’t think the delivery driver one is that weird. It’s always kind of interesting to see what someone is doing when they think they’re alone. Like do they talk to themself, etc, etc. Hope that doesn’t make me a psychopath tho 😂
warning this is gonig to be very deeep. once when i was 15 i stole guitar picks from guitar center. i haven't been caught but i still lay low to avoid arrest
Blu A. We had a big lapse in filming due to personal issues so I had been saving the uploads so I didn’t run out. We are back on the more frequent side again now! Thank you for your patience :$
I feel like DickeyDines could extend reach even more if their tags were a bit stronger and their SEO optimization was a bit stronger. Like, some of the tags are like "UA-cam, UA-camr. Vlog, Good Mythical Morning, Influencer. Funny. Lol. Haha. Funny. Laughter. Laugh. Laughing" Chance of them finding any of these videos from those, it's unlikely. :(
I can one up that accidently going on a date with someone. So I was talking to my current husband online and we had been together for a year, met when we were both 17 and were still together when i graduated and went to college even though we lived in opposite coasts. I made a few friends in college and didnt pick up on one of them liking me, most people's advances go right over my head anyway I'm just not a flirty person in the least. He knew i was dating someone and it was serious so i just thought of him as a friend and he invited to show me this book store he knew about. No biggie and we grabbed some food. I'm literally texting my husband on my phone when he makes a comment about his mom would give him shit about messing with his food on a date.... super awkward when i had to ask him when this turned into a date. I felt mortified since i was sure i made it clear and he was a good friend, my husband is definitely not fond of him.
When girls mention their boyfriend like that they are either 1. awkwardly trying to get out of the situation because they don't like you. 2. trying to weirdly make you jealous or 3. I guess they could really just want some poor guy to pay for a fun day lol
9:40 or so, by taking the picture they meant that the delivery person takes the picture of the package and sends it to the customer to confirm that it made it home
I love when Austin makes jokes and Jared either doesn't hear them or they fly over his head and Austin is left with this "well clearly that wasn't well received" look on his face. Don't worry, Austin, we see what you did there. One of the funniest people on youtube imo. Lmao.
Rachel Mazurek Lmao.
When
I need a friend that will laugh to my jokes like Jared laughs at Austin's. I think I just need friends...
4 quarters over 100 pennies baby!
Its not hard to find friends
Need a friend?
Warrior of Sunlight Dennis
Only if you *B* praising
@@thomasoneill4386 Praise the Sun
Austin just makes the show funnier
Austin is the show!
I love how he manages to rationalise even the weirdest stuff. xD
Always
Yes he dose
I feel like they smoke a fat blunt before each video they make together. Their eyes are always very low and half way closed lol
3:19 I used to draw on bathroom walls too but Vincent van Flow over here took that shit too far
*"""Vincent van Flow"""*
Fucking nailed it
I feel like this joke is the only reason you commented, and I salute you
Sadly, people do similar WITH shit...
You commented this soley because you thought of the name and you deserve a fucking medal
*PINK EAR FROM THE NUT JUICE*
*"Is that a Cardi B. track?"* I died! 😂
New Grindcore band
@@metalworker14 Maybe the band is just called "Nut Juice." Their debut single can be "Pink Ear (From the Nut Juice)" 😂😂😂😂
@@metalworker14 mincecore, they're gonna do a spit with haggus
Yo I just accidently clicked on another video of yours without realizing it, and the transition was smooth as hell
I legit did the same thing..
Here’s my confession, when I was a teen I stole my dads credit card and ordered the parts and tools to build my own guitar, it ended up costing about 500 quid. This guitar has been by my side ever since I build it and i named it after his company.
That’s pretty badass
Build me a guitar with your dad's credit card
Your dad had a horrible bank if they didn't tell him
Wtf is a quid and how many american dollars is that?
@@ryancarthen2198 a quid is just irish/british slang for euro or pounds
Austin at the beginning 🤣
I need an Austin in my life🤣😭
N and how Jared isn’t bothered by it lolol
Dude, Reddit is a goldmine for making content. Some of ky favorite stories some from r/entitledparents and r/prorevenge
I managed to get my husband hooked on those stories, too, and now we spend way too much time on them! 😂
I usually listen to reddit stories while sculpting.
next fan mail austin gets 50 boxes of crayola and 20 of just orange ones
And pink
Pussy* pink
and a box of shit
ive been watching dickey dines for years and this was one of the funniest videos. i was laughing the whole time. when Austin said " i didnt call her that because im not a monster" i almost shit myself
Speaking of geese...
Up until I was about 5 years old I lived in a small town in Ohio. Down the street from my house was this park and next to it was was a pond where geese and ducks can swim or whatever. One day my parents were were working later than expected and I had to have a baby sitter for the rest of the day. There wasn't much we could do at the house so he took me to the park. The pond that was next to it had a large amount of geese that day and most of them were in the water and the others were laying on the grass. I was very curious as a kid so I walked over there to pet the geese bc I thought that was the normal thing to do. So I'm petting the goose and I noticed that there was something sticking out between his legs. Like I said, I was a very curious child and I started to grab it and play with it. Apparently the goose really liked it c it started honking and making all these noises. My babysitter saw what was going on and quickly ran over to me and picked me up to take me home. The goose wasn't done and started chasing after us with a full on boner. We just barely made it to the car and drove home. I soon realized that it wasn't right and felt horrible and we both agreed to never talk about it again.
I that ladies and gentlemen is the story the time I jacked off a goose
I ain’t gonna lie, they had us there in the begging
I'd chase your ass down as well if you blue balled me like that. Not cool dude...
The peephole peeping: the picture part is the Amazon driver takes a picture of the package on the door step and the pic is included in the "your order has arrived" alert.
That club penguin dude knew how to take care of his stonks
You guys are like the good natured, slacker friends, from an 80's, coming of age, comedy.
And, yes, Dickey, cobras ARE innocent. The only creature capable of malicious intent is man. When animals kill, it's always out of self preservation, or, need.
@@ExUSSailorthats not true but ok😂
8:50 Amazon takes pictures of the packages on the porch to prove the delivery was successful, he didn't take the picture of them.
18:50 Uber eats driver here: it's more likely that the restaurant made your order wrong and the driver didn't/couldn't check. Uber/restaurants/some customers are HUGE sticklers about drivers checking contents in a bag. Like, not even opening the food container to make sure the food is there, literally just opening the bag that the container is HELD in and looking. All of the fast food restaurants tape/staple their bags closed and tell the customer to report the driver for tampering with their food if the sticker/bag is disturbed in some way. I was hit with a very serious warning telling me I could lose my delivery privileges just for peeking in a bag to make sure the person's drink was in there. Bonus, it wasn't. So I kept them from getting an incorrect order and got punished for it. So a lot of drivers just give up on checking food completely, it's just way too risky.
As for the morphine part, rectal administration of drugs is much more effective per dose than oral administration and insufflation. When taken rectally, the drug is absorbed into the bloodstream much more quickly and is affected less by stomach acids and other filtration methods that the body has for filtering out unwanted chemicals in things you ingest normally. It's basically injecting the drug for people who are scared of needles.
Last time i came this early was just before she left me.
last time i came this early you weren't making unoriginal comments
I also ejaculate prematurely during sex
@@cvspvr yo(ur) (a) heck and people (c)all yo(u)fu(ck)ing broke boy
🎵And that’s about the time she walked away from me 🎵
caspar valentine nice
10/10 would befriend Austin.
11/10 would adopt austin
Honestly the titles of these stories are hilarious.
19:40
Professionals have STANDARDS
"Accidentally" went on a date with someone who's not my boyfriend. We've all heard that one 😂
Did the dude with the foreskin problem never consider circumcision?
He might not be able to afford it. I was actually just reading bit this (coincidentally) it usually costs several thousand and is typically not covered by insurance
Circumcision causes *way* more problems later in life even if it's done in adulthood. Mental, physical, and even diseases.
@@Ruvikon I completely agree, but at that point circumcision may sadly be the best option
I had a phimosis, cured it by myself without any doctors help. There's lots of tips on the internet.
The foreskin is stretchable, with some everyday practice in your bath/shower you can get rid of it pretty quickly but mine might not have been as tight as his.
@@Ruvikon This is fake news.
I hope the guy with phimosis got told that it is super treatable by getting circumcised PLUS that doctors recommend doing this for general genital hygiene.
Austin hows that guitar practicing been going?
I'm waiting to hear too!
Lol, we all are dude
@@orangenoise8350 I was surprised by how quickly he got Walk This Way with the Hammer ons, etc.
Jesse Ashford, IKR he clearly has some intuition for the guitar
9:30 nah, the guy is saying when the delivery people take the picture of the package they delivered, which is now required for all Amazon deliveries. So he isn't taking pics he's just watching
As a former fast food employee, I can tell you this for sure. If someone used a tampon to write on the bathroom walls, it would have elicited no more than a sigh, and an eyeroll. We are used to FAR worse than that; trust me. Everyone should have to work fast food, at least for a few months; it'll slap that sense of entitlement right out of your hands! I have some GREAT stories!
Haha. I had a rich girl working for me and I was training her and was like "alright time to clean the bathrooms, let's go"
She looked at me and said "I don't do bathrooms." Took her apron off and left.
@@jesseashford3949 Oh, man. Like I said, I have STORIES. I had to clean men's and women's bathrooms every hour or so, and...the horrors!!! Let's just say I worked the night shift at the busiest of our stores in town, and lots of drunks came in...
I started watching this show because I followed Jared and expected guitar stuff. Now I only watch it for Austin's priceless reactions
Someone teased me for my stutter. I beat them up.
Oh shit... That newborn chicken one reminded me when I was a kid when we lived on a farm
I saw a hen and her chicks following her I took the two that was falling behind,one in each hand and I showed it to my mama "she said to put em back" so I did...
then I found out
*I accidentally crippled both of them*
I love that you use Banjo Kazooie and Tooie music in your vids. So nostalgic to hear!!
22:23 i love the way he said that, omg
Please do more of the these reddit confessions. These videos I love the most. Also do more of the Facebook stories from other people
Great vid guys!! Thanks for all the laughs!! HEYYYY Austin!!! When do we all get another Dining with Dickey episode?!? It’s well over due my guy!!
The music in the background just makes this even funnier. I hear banjo and Kazooie 😂
This show is literally keeping me alive!
Clicked like without even watching the video, that's how much I love this channel
Sudden Swarm you are appreciated 🤩
I'm pretty sure he means that the delivery guy took a picture of the packages, they do that for packages now.
I played CoD with a guy from Great Britain, he had phimosis. He complained that his head was abnormally huge and his foreskin would rip and crack during sex trying to go over the head. He got a circumcision and said he it changed his life, said now he can't get enough sex.
Love the booch on the background. Aesthetic to say the least.
I love how this is a channel that has not sold out yet. You’re great
Austin is literally one of the funniest UA-cam personalities ever he could legit be a comedian
Yes! I’m so glad you guys did another confessions!
7:51, love how Jared just says it out loud, and Austin just goes "Nah hold my Boocha, I got this"
Damn these are some pretty Unholy Confessions
Please tell me someone understands this
I do! Yes!
👌
19:38 Professionals have standards
"COME INTO THE BACKPACK CORNER" best thing ever
DO A TOUR OF THAT ROOM PLZ
Why doesn’t he just get circumcised?
o_O
god I'm dying laughing at the club penguin one
I'VE GOT ANOTHER CONFESSION TO MAKE
The peephole peeping thing...you know what would be cool? Waiting for the delivery guy to come to the door then peeing on him through the lock. I call it peephole peeing.
Dicky goin back to his possible native roots in the intro?
I've never laughed so hard in my life I enjoyed this been having a bad time recently so this kinda helps make the time better
I lost it when they read the club penguin one
Wait a minute man, I was watching I'm a sucker for you cover.
Javier Maldonado what’s your point?
Sucker cover*
I feel sorry for you.
Y'all should do more, this was hilarious!
I got a Postmates order, I ordered a FULL order of onion rings, I got 5 onion rings, that's a dollar per onion ring. That driver def ate my food.
I don't understand why drivers do that. As a driver myself, I notice that occasionally customers don't come to the door to get their food, so I get to keep it and get paid for the delivery anyway. Last night I got a nice ass club hoagie and a chicken quesadilla 😍😍
@@jakemoresea7415 I mean, double the free food?
I know that the well has run dry but we NEED another Dining with Dickey soon.
About a year ago I too went on a date with a girl I thought was single. About half way through the date she mentioned this other guy a couple times. I quickly put 2 and 2 together and realized she was taken.
Knowing this though I kept talking to her and going out with her. After about a month of talking for what it seemed weeks straight she broke up with her boyfriend. We have now been dating for close to a year and couldn’t be happier.
We were homies. Like we hacky sacked all the time
22:36 i dont know whats called, but there is a type of circumcision were they only remove the top part of you foreskin he could do that.
I had phimosis and got a normal circumcision. I can confirm that phimosis is excruciatingly painful.
I wouldn't get "fully circumcised," but the tight muscle band is pretty much right at the end of the foreskin from what I understand (I'm not a doctor). In that case I would opt for a "semi-circumcision," just a little off the top, but still leaving plenty of natural slinky slack.
Circumcision is used as a last resort, there are actually a few methods that can be effective in most cases.
More of these please?
19:28 ordered food from this Hawaiin place through Door Dash the app said the food was delivered but I didn't get my food. This happened a total of 3 times and each time I called the support line and got refunded once and credit the other two times. It must have been the same driver because after the third time it stopped.
I don’t think the delivery driver one is that weird. It’s always kind of interesting to see what someone is doing when they think they’re alone. Like do they talk to themself, etc, etc. Hope that doesn’t make me a psychopath tho 😂
warning this is gonig to be very deeep. once when i was 15 i stole guitar picks from guitar center. i haven't been caught but i still lay low to avoid arrest
I NEED you to do more of these
Come for the comedy, stay for the Banjo-Kazooie overworld music in the background
The guy watching Amazon deliveries didn't take pictures of the drivers, he meant he watched the driver take a picture of the package being delivered
Lmao, It's A Small World but it's people holding signs with their secrets like the Dirty Little Secret video 😂
Phimosis can possibly be cleared up by a corticosteroid and or stretching of the skin.
Is that a Ted Bundy shirt Jared is wearing?
nope, not bundy
Shout out to the banjo kazooie music in the background! Favorite video because of it
14:51 since he followed through with it, it just makes him an ambitious weirdo.
Yooo who else recognizes the background music??
Heck yes! Can't remember which banjo but takes me back
@@martinh4112 banjo tooie I think
Yeah it’s the Banjo Kazooie Soundtrack! I love it and you can usually use instrumental songs for background music!
@@Dickey7861 Grant Kirkhope and David Wise wrote the soundtracks to my childhood. Great choice
Its from Banjo Tooie. Its the music that plays in the jinjo village!
Love the channel guy's, some of the most relatable content I've ever seen on UA-cam!
Some “unholly confesions”
You guys are the bees knees. Happy to see you guys finally posting something🤘🏻
U guys need to start uploading some more
Blu A. We had a big lapse in filming due to personal issues so I had been saving the uploads so I didn’t run out. We are back on the more frequent side again now! Thank you for your patience :$
@@Dickey7861 thanks but u need to call us Dicksters LMAOOOOO
Banjo Kazooie music? Interesting choice
I love Austin's hat where can I get one??
Also I love these kind of episodes keep them up👍🤘
I'm liking this new uploads schedule
I feel like DickeyDines could extend reach even more if their tags were a bit stronger and their SEO optimization was a bit stronger. Like, some of the tags are like "UA-cam, UA-camr. Vlog, Good Mythical Morning, Influencer. Funny. Lol. Haha. Funny. Laughter. Laugh. Laughing" Chance of them finding any of these videos from those, it's unlikely. :(
An old friend drove by a group of kids and screamed "SANTA'S NOT REAL"
Dickie trying to do a pow wow in the beginning lmao
Dude I love you guys. This is a public service in a way
my grandma looked at me, and then i gave her backhanded justice
And neck dysplasia
Please do more of these 😂❤️
DROWNED IN THE BIG BEANS😂😭
Austin....are you Caboose from redvsblue?
I can one up that accidently going on a date with someone. So I was talking to my current husband online and we had been together for a year, met when we were both 17 and were still together when i graduated and went to college even though we lived in opposite coasts. I made a few friends in college and didnt pick up on one of them liking me, most people's advances go right over my head anyway I'm just not a flirty person in the least. He knew i was dating someone and it was serious so i just thought of him as a friend and he invited to show me this book store he knew about. No biggie and we grabbed some food. I'm literally texting my husband on my phone when he makes a comment about his mom would give him shit about messing with his food on a date.... super awkward when i had to ask him when this turned into a date. I felt mortified since i was sure i made it clear and he was a good friend, my husband is definitely not fond of him.
15:24 pretty sure u talking about that Full House episode
When girls mention their boyfriend like that they are either 1. awkwardly trying to get out of the situation because they don't like you. 2. trying to weirdly make you jealous or 3. I guess they could really just want some poor guy to pay for a fun day lol
9:40 or so, by taking the picture they meant that the delivery person takes the picture of the package and sends it to the customer to confirm that it made it home
IM SO HAPPY THEIR DOING MORE OF THESE! THEYRE SO FUCKED UP AND FUNNY AND I LOVE IT!!
I love the show thanks for making my day better with your jokes and story's
that damn 8bit, 90's ringtone in the background is driving me nuts.... love you guys
Best vids in a while!! Keep it up guys
Austin featuring (one of the) best sweaters!
When is the next episode of dining with dickey