The CK3 Murder Olympics
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- Опубліковано 24 вер 2024
- Crusader Kings III will be FREE this weekend from May 9th-13th - use my link to grab it while you can! play.crusaderk...
FEATURING:
@thespiffingbrit
@ReggieGames
PATREON: / valefisk
Company of Heroes
Cities Skylines 2
Total War: Warhammer II
Crusader Kings III
Crusader Kings II
Democracy 4
Hearts of Iron IV
Hoi4
#pain#gaming#valefisk
Wanna see if you can beat my highscore? :) CK3 is Completely FREE this Weekend from May 9th-13th! Get it here: play.crusaderkings.com/Valefisk
Long ass weekend
first :)))))))))))))))))))
i love you you little cockroach (endearing)
balls
guys does anyone else feel like vale fisk is being paid by Big Crusader King lately
*I am Paradox Interactive*
It do be like that sometimes
Paradox Interactive is a perfectly balanced company with no exploits video when?
My god man my respect for you has skyrocketed- Reggie and Vale? Great choice. Ik you’ve done stuff with him already, but I think TheGrimKleaper would love this challenge.
Put out more World of Darkness books pls Mr. Interactive
Thanks for forcing an upload
The fact that Paul "Ghengis Khan" Atreides only got about 50 more kills than "Some crazy guy in Africa" is honestly a glowing endorsement of Vale's R&D department.
It really is
Not to mention that’s also on top of said Atreides actively trying to stop the murdering. Also I think if you murder someone for the sole reason that you want to kill them before someone else, I think that should at least tangentially count as the other person’s murder
But it’s death, destroyer of worlds!
@@PineappleLiar tbf Atreides died early, I think spiff would of ran away with a even greater lead if he lived just a bit longer
No he didn't die too early, Robert just live for a very long time for the period @@mk_gamíng0609
Every day, we get closer to the Campaign for North Africa video Vale.
He cant run from it
the what?
@@Valefisk you know very well the curse you have brought upon this land!
@@Valefisk Don't pretend you don't know. It will happen one day, your sadism/masochism compels you.
Maybe every time it’s mentioned he delays it
There should be a chance for "exotic carpet" event to actually be just a random event where you can get an exotic carpet, because otherwise it is just a dead giveaway that you are being murdered by someone. It needs to cause MORE PARANOIA
Honestly that’d be hilarious. Genuinely should be a thing
Like a 1/20 chance
@@alexcrazy1492
I'd say 40% chance, unless this game works on the statistical probability of Pokemon, in which case it should be 90% chance to happen so it never happens.
I run an online ttrpg based on CK3 where each player is a monarch of a country and I love to send the players exotic carpets in order to induce paranoia
@@ej7416 What is the name of this game??
The Valefisk R&D department is proud of it's contribution to the effort.
honestly came quite close to winning, if only spiff wasn't actively trying to kill him he may have managed to squeeze out a victory even
@@jan_harald What??? He had another 50 people to kill and was 68. There was no way. Also, Spiff had the better strategy, just the worse luck with that early death.
@@jan_harald to be fair that spiff character died mid way is also rng. Vale meanwhile got to have his character resurected.
He would have had a far higher kill count otherwise.
He also was like 60 kills of before spiff involved himself.
japanese unit 731 be like
@@jan_harald Really if you think about it, Spiff broke the like, one rule they made doing that lmao. Since he executed valefisk.
Though it was funny so fair move on his part.
Father is feeding us puny basement dwellers well this month, all hail
3 cheers for spiff
hipp hipp
@@dr.turtle5097HOORAY
hipp hipp
@@DropkickedBarracudaHOORAY!
As someone who lives in New Hampshire, I'd waste my vote on Vermin Supreme
"Remember, a vote for Vermin Supreme, is a vote wasted." -Vermin Supreme
Most honest politican in history
@@DustD.Reaper Free ponies for all
this is literally the Campaign for West Africa
On the topic of the Mind Goblin, they (and I swear this is real) made a card called “_____ Goblin” that puts a name sticker on itself when it enters the battlefield, one of which is the word Mind. So the Mind Goblin is real, but only technically.
I sent a screenshot of Spiffing asking about it and my friend who's really into Magic gave me this exact response. To which I replied with Mind Goblin Deez Nuts
What’s even funnier is that the card is actually played in a competitive deck
@@jaysabol1821
I'm proud of you
I remember seeing a dnd video involving a dude not able to finish the mind goblin joke
@@prototypex8217 The one where he gave his best joke to a fairy?
RIP Nitrodubs6
Gone, but not forgotten
Also joe_from_wallmart
2 in a week, Vale fisters we are eating
The fuck did you just call me?
@@LeakyTrees don’t know about you, but I’m honoured to be called a Vale fister
@@ack7 I’m a vale footer, thank you very much
@@LeakyTrees You know what you are
@@MrDylanm842 yes, a vale FOOTER.
The witcher audio books change character pronunciations too. The first two books Geralt's best friend is "dandelion" but in the third his name suddenly becomes "dan-dill-ion"
This happens in Malazan's audiobooks too. Fantastic series, but it drives me up the wall lmao.
The asoiaf audiobooks are... Interesting. Dotrice is generally good, but he's got an interesting "female voice", and umm...
Well, I'm sure everyone knows about the Puh-tire incident at this point...
Him saying dan dill ion drove me nuts when listening to those books
he's always Jaskier for me... you know, how it should be, in polish
Idk if I interpreted it wrong, but I think what makes the Wheel one just a bit funnier is that it sounded to me like Spiff was saying the pronunciation changed mid-book
"I can't believe the most notorious serial killer just posted bail for 95 gold.."
The phrase alone sums up the sheer fucking madness of the whole ordeal..
Playing any strategy game with Spiff is like, "Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear" As you see a stovepipe hat appear in your rearview mirror.
Unless if it is Civ and Potato McWhiskey is playing.
"I have become William Afton, killer of kids"
- King Robert Oppenheimer I
"I always come back"
-Robert Oppenhammer after escaping prison
@@muhammadfirdausbinsyahrom "Just one more rush"
When Spiff asked multiple times who killed his wife I think he had to only speak in quotes from the fugitive
Ah, the good ol' board game.
They killed my wife.
Copeland.
Richard!
glad I wasn't the only one.
That's right richard I don't care
"they killed my wife"
- Han The Fugitive Solo
The guy who managed to off Vale's character 7 years in despite his 20 intrigue skill is the true winner.
The fact it was genuinely some random dickhead too, not like a player or important faction
TWO UPLOADS IN TWO WEEKS???
A single week actually
He might separate weeks on Wednesdays. Who knows
@@kylefinck77 i seperate weeks by number of days passed, like a normal person. Its been 7 days since last video so its been a week since last video
@@jc_art_ The last video was last week’s Thursday as well, so by all definitions it two weeks
He has woken.
23:27 So Fun fact there is a Goblin card in MTG called a ‘___ Goblin’ or ‘Name Sticker Goblin’ where you put a word in the blank space to use as its name. Meaning you can make your own mind goblin.
Also fun fact it’s mechanically sub-optimal to play the card as a Mind Goblin. I have yet to see anyone play it as anything other than a Mind Goblin
@@SecondOmega idk about your playgroup but legacy players looooooooove making him into Delusionary Goblin, then immediately casting Muxus
@@NoxiousAffection Ah right, forgot it was legacy legal. I only played unfinity draft or as part of an Un- cube at my lgs
Unfinity and its consequences have been a disaster to the human race.
'this is my 7th second chance with my wife'
immediately opens two murder scheme tabs for M16 and M18
This game was a saturday mornibg cartoon featuring Robert "the stranger", best serial killer in West Africa, going on wacky adventures to kill his entire lineage. All while the Great Atredis Khan is desperatly trying to stop him from murdering his sisters. Somehow the old Robert always escapes.
and then a stupid deathnote plot arrive where the next Atredis manages to kill Robert.
Valefisk's "I brought you into this world and I can take you out of it" run.
*Will
Will take you out of it. It's not a threat. It's a promise.
Fun fact: In the second book, Paul states that he has "killed sixty-one billion, sterilized ninety planets, completely demoralized five hundred others."
What series?
@@ZKP314 Dune
While trying to teach Stilgar about Genghis Khan and the Austrian Painter to make it obvious that the Jihad was an atrocity beyond measure.
He literally calls Hitler a rookie in the same chapter lmao
Oppenheimer wasn't building a bomb. He was building a Nick Cannon
“I have become Nick Cannon, (Former) R. Kelly Collaborator”
ur pfp is just like mine
@@celleryvon9546 wow you're right
For when he planned to steal the child in spiff's prison?
Wow, 2 vids in a week.
I for one welcome this new paradigm.
"emptying the family prison" horrible great sentence
31:45 "Well you can do everything in your power to stop me" is such a raw line
Real supervillian line, but it's a supervillian who actually wins in the end.
The fact this video can actually stand in as a really, really off the rails version of Dune is amazing.
Paul may have the most heads, but Oppenheimer will be remembered forever
I mean, so will Genghis Khan.
The entire talk about the wheel of time audio books is honestly really funny after listening through book 7. What I find funnier is trying to read the books and thinking "thats how the fuck that person's name is pronounced?"
Praise the father for a bountiful harvest this month
"My balls hurt they itch" -Sun Tzu
Reggie Vale crossover i never expected, but am glad happened
Haven’t watched that much of the video yet, and I am VERY afraid of what’s about to go down. Nothing good can come from these two people being in the same room, and adding spiff in makes things even worse.
Edit: Yep, everything went about as well as I expected
When answering the bear vs man question the first response should always be "Is the man British?"
As someone who has both listened to the Wheel of Time audiobooks and read the books, I can't say that I remember there being an issue of the name pronunciation changing, I think the larger problem is that so many of the characters have basically the same name and they are practically the same character with few distinguishing features (Seane vs Sarine vs Saine vs Siuan). Also, the biggest issue I can remember is that a country has a very similar name to a class of people from the big evil empire (Domani and Damane), so the book can talk about a D*man* woman, and you have to consider where in the world the chapter takes place to determine which type of woman they are talking about.
Spiff might be referring to how the husband and the wife both pronounce some of the names differently.
I think the actual issue is that each character has a different accent which alters how the names are pronounced and those accents changed depending on who was reading them. Iirc Elayne had some of the most egregious pronunciations, though I can't remember whether it was when voiced by the husband or wife.
Optimizing murder in CK3 is a weirdly fascinating process
I have to say Chamber does a very convincing SpiffingBrit impression.
"Die Oppenheimer" is actually just German for "The Oppenheimers"
No one who speaks German can be an evil man
Robert Oppenheimer: “When I came to you with those serial kills, we thought we might start a killing spree that would destroy the world.”
Paul Atreides: “I remember it well. What of it?”
Oppenheimer: "I believe we did.”
I loved that post in Dune when Paul founded the Swedegolian Empire.
The moment the Mongol Empire changed their name to "Die Oppenheimer" absolutely devastated me. I couldn't breath for a solid 2 minutes. It had like the perfect build-up.
Fingers crossed dlc with unlanded characters will be a full sandbox where you can travel around the world, gather a host of warriors and eventually press claim on land- rather than a shallow, repeatable event chain.
Also, nice video
I wouldn't bet on it. CK3 is a grand strategy game, not an RPG. Making gameplay engaging for NPCs is not a priority.
@@timothymclean
It's not NPC's I'm talking about
That is literally just Mount and Blade.
@@kjj26k
Well yes, but actually no
33:12 Spiff really just went "When is a gift not a gift"
Vale somehow not having money whilst living in Gold land is just peak
Once again coughing hard enough to almost puke towards the end with Oppenheimer the Serial killer who murders his family being released for 90 gold.
As an OG viewer. It’s insane to think how big Spiffing has become. I remember his old HoI4 viewer games in his discord. Good on him and bringing the boys back.
I think the funniest part about Spiff in *any* multiplayer scenario is that he never *starts* overpowered, but he *will* win eventually. It's always this master plan with like 100 steps that all seem disconnected until he pulls the trigger and *ascends* to decimate everyone.
Both maximum chance of success and maximum content from every other player being confused and terrified because they know Spiff is doing *something* but they can't for the life of them figure out what it is.
Perfectly Balanced.
I've seen this comment before
ANOTHER VALE VIDEO SO SOON? AND CK3??? WE’RE EATING WELL TONIGHT LADS!
"I have known the Spiffing Brit for 8 years."
Haha the Paradox quiz show is not that long ago.
*Checks*
Oh my fucking god.
Vale spawn camping his own family is somehow very on-brand. And I almost forgot to mention the spiffing Brit literally pulled a “the British are coming”
I really hope Spiff does not say “Did you just yoink a boy?” ever again
Spiff accidentally ransoming Vale made me laugh so much my throat started hurting
"You have no excuse not to try it" Seeing how my Batchelor is due next week id say i'm sure to fail if i play this
"Mind Goblin" actually is a real magic card... Sort of?
Ok so magic sometimes has Joke sets where they play with mechanics they'd never put in the real game, and in the latest one, they experimented around with "stickers" you can attach to cards after certain game actions.
There were three kinds of stickers;
-Stat/Text stickers (change the stats or textbox of a card)
-Hat stickers (useful for joke cards)
-Name add-on stickers (More useful than you'd think)
In order to play these stickers, you needed either a card that gave you sticker points, or let you put a sticker on it when played.
One of the cards that did the latter was "_____ Goblin", a 3 mana goblin which let you stick a name add-on sticker on it, and then gives you X red mana, where X is the number of letters in the sticker.
One of the name add-on stickers was "Mind".
However, note the number of letters; there's four.
The card cost three.
Not only *can* you have a creature named "Mind Goblin" in magic, but it's *legitimately a good play* to play it, since you go +1 on mana *and* get a free goblin. (Insanely powerful in magic)
Oh also remember how I said these come from a joke set where they do things that wouldn't fly in the real game?
Yeah I lied this wasn't a joke set, "Mind" Goblin is REAL and LEGAL.
( *Technically* there are better names to put on the Goblin then 'Mind', there are 5 and 6 letter name stickers, *but* they're like 1 per sticker sheet at most, you can only play from 3 unique sheets in a game, and there's only one sticker per name, so "Mind Goblin" is still Optimal on, like, _______ Goblin #3 or 4.)
48:03 God-Emperor Leto II to his beloved advisor Moneo in 13724 AG.
HOLY SHIT REGGIE?? AND THE SPIFFING BRIT? i cannot describe how happy I am. The fact that pretty much all of my favorite UA-camrs (now including valefisk) have done collabs is so gratifying
They mentioned the Wheel of Time books being narrated by a husband and wife team and I was like "no way Michael Kramer and Kate Reading (known for Mistborn and Stormlight) did those too, right?" And apparently they did! Neat :D
I am just glad that we are being kept safe by games where Vale gets to murder people and doesn't have to quench his bloodthirst on real people.
There was a rule at the start saying that you were not allowed to directly kill each other. Spiff broke that rule by executing you, ergo Vale wins by default and Spiff lost due to cheating!
Yeah!
Apparently there was nuance to those rules not clarified in this video. And no one cared because the game was basically over.
For the Audiobooks, I understand that. I listen to another series that they narrate, The Stormlight Archives and sometimes the pronunciation changes from book to book. Don't get me wrong though, they are great at narrating and the story is amazing.
The mind goblin is really it’s from an “un” set in magic that uses stickers so there is a “blank” goblin and a mind sticker
Honestly, Valefisk, Spiff and Reggie are the perfect trio, pls make more with the three of you. I love watching my three favorite lunatics playing games lol
3 seconds in and I'm having flashbacks to the Valefisk torture board game
"you killed my wife"
Cant wait for the CIA or something to say "5 views in 15 seconds bro fell off"
15 likes in 6 minutes? Commenters fell off
When I heard the phrase "you killed my wife," I was fully expecting another Harrison Ford in The Fugitive scenario. Imagine my disappointment when that was not the case.
56:10 five guys? Murders and knives?
If you want to get back at the devious british man, round up the usual stockholm syndrom victims and give them a seperate aspect of a boardgame to design while telling them to make it as much of a torture as possible to eventually create the most nonsensical and mental taxing boardgame made by people who had to endure years of psychological trauma at your hand...and then get Spiff to play that absolute clusterfuck thats barely classified as a game and see how much he can handle
In Spiff's world being a serial killer with a killcount of 114 get's you the same punishment, as RDM-ing someone on a Gmod DarkRP server
You could hear Daddy Vale start to look up what mind goblin was. My head lowered in remorse for what he was about to hear.
The fucking what?
the average ck3 mp game
the campaign for west africa >;P
Giving TheSpiffingBrit and Vale a sandbox game yielded about the expected result
*aka*
*Absolute chaos*
"This is the 7th time my wife has given me a 2nd chance" had me in hysterics xD
I thought one of the rules was you couldn't directly kill each other's characters. It kinda felt like spiff cheated there at the end. It was very funny though.
It seems like that rule ends when your main guy dies? I do think it should've just been like, ai controlled once you die though. Instead of what happened, which is that Spiff got a massive lead, died, and then used his massive resources to screw over the other two
Yeah he started cheating pretty much as soon as paul died in that regard, but honestly khan robert fighting endgame and getting away with it until he was 80 was probably a better story.
Yeah. It was one thing trying to kill through stress. Even imprisoning was maybe arguable (even if it still felt cheap) but directly executing him 100% should have been against the rules they set
Spiff bending the rules to his benefit? How ridiculous!
If were honest vale technically wins because spiff broke the rule of not killing other players.
26:17 I thought about the setting fire to the feast one, but I haven't seen it in ages. It's got to be hard to pull off. I also thought of the event where you become a Berserker and kill like your whole court off, but I think you have to be a North Germanic tribe for that one.
3:34 bro really said pronownciation
Seeing the event announcement of "Genghis Khan," with fucking Paul Atreides on screen is funny asf to me
You should warm up the gang to CNA with a coop game of hearts of iron 4 but immediately throw them into the black ice mod. Ultra sufferage
So for the "mind goblin" thing, there is a card from the most recent Un-set, that is legal in a couple of formats, called "________ Goblin." It allows you to fill in the blank with a set of sticker names. One of the options is "Mind." So technically you could say there is a Mind Goblin in MTG.
Valefisk AND Reggie AND Spiff?????????????????? i will not forget about the campaign for north africa, but this will definitely buy some time
@thespiffingbrit GOOD JOB ON GETTING MORE VALE UPLOADS WE NEEDED THEMMMMMM
@2:30 Honestly, that's a VERY good Cillian Murphy. Well done.
This is truly something else. After Spiff went on his murder rampage I thought he would beat the others by an order of magnitude, I did not expect things to go so far off the rails after that!
This Game is literally a valefisk fashion Game
Two videos in one month?! Yes, da- father! Please! We require more!
We're not an addict. We can quit whenever we want.
A suprise to be sure but a welcomed one.
On a serious note, i do love all three of you guys and was presently surprised to see a video involving all of you.
The mind goblin magic the gathering card is actually real
There is a card called
______ goblin whose gimic is that the blank can be replaced with stickers
One of the stickers is the word "mind" so that cars is just only used for that joke
Two valefisk videos in one week? The end must be near.
All my favorite psychopaths in one place, just wonderful
Spiff broke the rule of not killing other players with that execution XD
i NEED more videos with the spiffing brit, he's consistently so funny and pleasant
23:00 spiff gets a kill IRL
I genuinely though moh-ghi-dee-un and moh-gah-deen were 2 different people through multiple wheel of time audiobooks
The fact that Spiff had vale in jail, and then fucking ransomed him for 90 gold on accident absolutely slays me
Spiffing Brit acting innocent in the early game them dominant middle and late game
24:23 Captain Feathersword finds anyone allergic to feathers and gives them a face full of his cutlass until they go into anaphylactic shock.
No shot I did not see this collab coming reggie is so fuckin good
Seeing Oppenheimer slowly go from young and handsome to fucking ancient looking is the best part of this video
22:50
Vale, I can't believe you actually fell for that.
1:30 Did... you just reference the whole "Would you rather be in the woods with a bear or man" thing going on? Wow