I got so so tired of being out in the world. My heart was run over and weary. I had to come to an understanding that dating and sex outside of marriage wrecks you inside and out. This lifestyle leaves you drained, bitter and emotionally dysfunctional. The longer I was living this way the worse I became, I had no idea what love really was. Young ladies please don't live this way. Go after Jesus with that same passion and energy you go after a man. Delight yourself in the one who created you and He will bring you what you need, He is your purpose. I know we hear this all the time but trust me its facts. When you experience the good uncoditional love God has for you, you are complete. A man is just extra at this point.
Amen Sis. Again if we claim to be Christian women and we don’t do it God’s way we are left empty and trying to rid ourselves of the negative spirit we have allowed into our spirit.
This is coming from your older auntie: If you have been with a man for more than two or three years and you're still 'dating,' it's not going anywhere, move on. If you find yourself dressing down, speaking less, and trying to appear as less than you are, that's a precursor to abuse, move on. If he hasn't told his friends and family about you after a couple of months, you're not important to him, move on. Watch how he treats his family, especially the women in his family; if he calls his sister names or is dismissive of his mother, that's just you in the future, move on. I did tell my daughter some hard truths, I didn't harp on it or call all men dogs but I told her the truth; still not sure she wanted to hear it.
I am a middle-aged woman whose mother told the same thing. We don't have time to wait around for someone. Some think they can keep you on hold while they are still looking for their idea, no just leave. I also was taught but my older sister to stop being nice ti men. Men are naturally hunters so we should be hard to get.
"Ladies, a man knows within FOUR MONTHS if you're the one or not. Men are simple. It don't take us that long! Men go HARD for what they want. If he's not chasing and pursuing you, you're NOT what he wants!" (Steve Harvey) Ladies, get these books: "The Game - 41 shades of men" by Princella Clark, and "30 reasons why men deserve NOTHING: Level up to your best life by Imani Forester. You will NEVER be played again. Get ready to find out the TRUTH about how men think about women. Most men today are seeking women with professional careers who are established so that they can "BENEFIT" and use her for resources. There is NO love, monogamy, commitment, or marriage in their game. Be careful!! DO NOT have s3x, move in with him, and live with him for years washing, cooking, cleaning; being a "place holder". He's not going to marry you. He's waiting on his "dream girl." When she comes along, he will drop you; and marry her within 6 months! It is so important to have your own BAG, home, car, degree, career, good credit, savings & checking account, emergency fund, life & health insurance. Make sure you have ALL these things BEFORE you get married. When you meet a man, he should have his own also, plus have a clean jail/prison free background. If not, DO NOT date or marry him! It is a RED FLAG 🚩he is not responsible or financially stable. He will look to YOU to pay for everything in the relationship.
My work dad gave me dating advice one day and said "never let a man know what you like at the beginning of a relationship. Most will use it to deceive you." Furthermore he said to just sit back and watch how he treats you and determine if what he offers is what you like.
When they ask: "What type of man are you looking for?" NEVER tell them. They want to know so they can "pretend" to be that person, and use you to get what he wants then leave. Just say: "Someone who can be themselves". Now he has no "playbook" to go by. "Learn to judge a man by his ACTIONS, and you will never be fooled by his words!"
As a middle-aged woman, the best advice is to listen to your God-given intuition. Don't change your standards, and most importantly love yourself literally! If a man is not courting you and putting in the energy to impress you, that is a REAL RED FLAG. Let a man be a man. If he doesn't take his position, he is not your guy.
It took me years and years to learn the hard way,the life consuming way,the life draining way that self-love must be first and foremost in any woman's life. When you do not truly love yourself ,it shows. You can't cover it up with makeup.I had to learn never ever to compromise self for anything about who I am however I feel, or the way I think to any man If If a man cannot respectfully listen to my views and have an intelligent exchange of viewpoints, I can't use his business In a relationship of limited communication,limited conversation is often a warning sign of something that a man is hiding from me. Silence is not always golden.. I've learned to accept and feel proud of my God-given uniqueness. There are no duplicates.I've learned not to give the impression of being needy. I've learned to hang on to any relationship when the signs are pointing to the intersection of Heartbreak Road and a Dead-end Street. If I see the signs early enough, I turn myself around. Maya Angelou warned us,"If a person tells you who he is,believe him the first time." I learned that second - and third time chances are nothing but a waste of my precious life. Life is too precious to waste on the depression caused by heartbreak. Finally, my spiritual faith allows me to know that I am beautifully and wonderfully created.I have no time to waste on anyone who doesn't appreciate this unique,intelligent,beautiful creation of God. Thank you, Jesus!!!!!
@francerhodes7284 If you don't vote, you may not be able to enjoy videos like this anymore as some politicians want to decide what you can read and view.
Alisha, this video is a whole WORD and I am here for it! As a middle age woman, you are correct, our mamas and older women in our family told us the basics and don’t get pregnant! Thank you for sharing this! ♥️😊😘🥰♥️
Hunty!!! I love this video and all of the topics that you covered. As a mature over 50 woman I WISH I had known what I know now about men, sex, marriage etc…. Once you understand how the mind of a man works and you understand your worth life is golden. More of this types of videos please!!!
My best advice for my Sisters is to “SAVE SEX FOR MARRIAGE”. Can we make that great again? Celibacy is so cool, and it truly eliminates the majority of the problems mentioned in this video. Get to truly know the man. Get to know if you are compatible. Ask questions. Get to know his family…. How he was raised….. Where he places his values. Love yourself enough to make him wait. Is it just me?
@@burdened_with_purpose YES 🙌🏾 A man will not walk into your life, and love you more than you love yourself. YOU set your worth. YOU set your standard. YOU set your limits. YOU set your boundaries. The man who is for you, will wait for you! I stand on that. SISTERS, let’s give our Sisters the best, and most important information. Telling our Girls to watch their body count sounds so bad to me. Let’s teach them better than that…. They are BETTER THAN THAT. Let’s teach them the value of virginity, celibacy, patience, femininity….
I'm in my 40's and I have been hurt terribly and I've made so many mistakes with not loving myself in the correct way. I'm at a point that I don't even want to be bothered
you said it... you made the mistake in not loving YOU correctly.. if you can't of course he won't.. I say everyone should take the time to date themselves and find out your likes and dislikes and what you will and won't tolerate from someone entering into your life. You control what happens around and to you.. TAKE CHARGE!!!!!
I'm 45 and going through a divorce after 9 years and 15 years together. This has been the hardest yet peacefull season of my life. I'm now healing and moving on and dealing with myself and kids. It's all about us now!!!
Sis, everything you said was spot on. Women need to hear this. I agree with everything. I can’t even get past the initial hello. Meeting men online who don’t know how to have a conversation, I can’t. I have yet to meet a man that can show me that it’s better to be a couple, than single. 😢😢
The term "cuddy buddy" isn't made up. They love the cooking, cleaning, adoration, and affection you provide while chasing their "ideal" person at the same time. Trust me, Karma is real and they will find someone who will treat them as they treated you. I have seen it work both ways!
Go Ahead Alisha... talk your talk.... This is that grown-ish that women do need to talk about. I'm sure at least 3/4 of your subscribers can relate to everything you said..... Thank you for opening this door up..... I'm here for it all.
Love the message! I’m a 51 year young , married women. Let me please add to the conversation. 1. WOMEN , please set the tone of the relationship early 2. Never chase!!! Let him chase you. They love a challenge.
Alisha, I never comment on you tube videos and this is the 1st time I have. Thank you for this convo. It was so needed and important. I hope you do more of these in the future. This shift was so what we needed! Thank you my Sister.
Heyyy Queen! 👑 All my sisters are beautiful black lioness queens, and the fact you took time to make a video for those who needed a little reinforcement, continue to be pretty and highly blessed! 💐🩷💜💛
I love your “10 ways to wear it” content, but you took it somewhere else and I am here for it! You absolutely need to go there with your platform. I’m older than you and I had my glass of wine and sipped right along with you, yes I did, and you did that! I left a husband with our two children many years ago because of his cheating and disrespect, so if I did that, I definitely will bounce on anyone else, I have no patience with these dudes. No, I’m not meeting them half way, no I’m not teaching them how to be a man, no I’m not settling for men who only check some of the boxes, check all the boxes or you’re not for me. It’s simple criteria, the boxes aren’t hard to check. You hit it outta the park ❤
You done did it with this video! I wish I had this in my 20s. Im Now 40 and STILL learning. Thank you you sis. Lil sisters out there, listen to this auntie!
Body count is a huge measure for me, Im over 50 & I can count on 1 hand. Definitely have to raise your values & protect your temple-all women need to value our body.
Sometime we need to ask ourselves why do we keep getting into the same type of relationship. What is missing in us that allows us to keep settling for less than what we want.
Yes we got to take responsibility for our own happiness! I know how a man treats his queen I’ve experienced it. If I can sense I’m not his queen type I’m gone. I know how it feels to be treated as a court jester too. Not good!
I'm a mother of three daughters and I tried to tell them about life in their teens, I would get "Oh Mom You Don't Trust Nobody" or "Oh Mom He's Nice". My mother told me very little just Don't get with no baby, but didn't tell me about sex. I wanted to be more informative with my daughters, but they weren't trying to hear me, so I let them live & learn!
I was always taught that you don't start nothing you're not going to keep up and I have lived by that my whole life. My father instill in me that I was a prize and I always felt like that too. I have been married 30 years and my husband treats me the same as day one and with that being said I'm good to him also. Great video!!!!
Alisha, whoa, this is deep & a difficult but much needed topic. Let me preface by stating I am happily married, but I went through these exact difficult situations. Thank you for bringing this to the forefront. I feel the pain associated with these topics!!! Great job sis😊
I was friends for 8 years before I got together with my partner. It's by far the best relationship I've had. There were no surprises and we already had a mutual respect for each other❤ We've been together for 11 years❤
I love you gurl. We are best friends. Thank you for this video. I just turned 51 and I can relate to everything you’ve said and I’m at the point of my life that I am happy by myself and I have such peace. I learned to take accountability for what I allow in my life and to stop being a fixer.
This was an important, much needed topics for women. I totally agree with your messages. There’s to much going on out in this wicked world to not be paying attention too. I have been in relationships that I was blessed to get out of. TFS Alicia and praying for your sister for her speedy recovery.❤
Girl you delivered! The Tea was real and good! Thanks for keeping it 100 in your delivery! My prayers are with you Alisha , I feel God presence in you soul! Yassss!
Happy Sunday Alisha. I'm so interested in this conversation. I can totally relate. You're right. My relationship track record has not been good. I have always been drawn to men who need " motivation" or the ones who l thought was "out of my league". And of course since l've gotten older, l've realized that l am incredible woman. I have alot to offer. Yes! I felt that Alisha, love bombing is real. I was in a relationship with someone for years that was not healthy. He still tries to spin the block especially when he sees that l'm living my best life and looking good, doing me. Thedating pool is absolute trash. I am so over the my man, my man, man mentality. We all deserve to be loved outloud and intentional.
A person’s love language is not how they show love, it’s how they receive it. So, if you show love by giving gifts but the receiver’s love language is words of affirmation, that person is not going to interpret your gifts as love. You’re going to be pissed because you’ll feel that the other person is ungrateful. However, it’s your fault because you’re not “speaking their language.” You have to love people the way they want to be loved, not how you want to love them. If you can’t, or won’t, do that, then you have to move on because neither of you will ever get what you need out of the relationship.
But that is her point. Giving and receiving gifts are her love languages so she is not going to be happy with someone who isn't on that same level. And that is exactly why she said she wouldn't rate the affection over the action. That is her love language and it's valid. Don't forget that these are all from her point of view so her views relate to how she understands things
@@aesinam I was using “you” to speak in general terms on my understanding of how love languages work, not to invalidate anyone’s perspective but to give a slightly different one as part of the conversation. I don’t remember who told me about the book on love languages but I thought it was a game changer. How you show love is irrelevant if you’re not using the other person’s love language. I was just responding to the comment about love languages being bs, again, as part of the conversation.
Loved this discussion topic. Sorely needed for a lot of us who were never taught the realities of relationships by the females in our lives. As an older woman, I've experienced a lot of the issues you discussed. I have come to understand, that God allowed me to experience the relationship valleys to teach me what I do not want, to set boundaries and honor myself.
Amen to a lot of the things that you said! 💯 But I don’t need to tell anyone about my body count because they don’t get judged on their body count. JS. Also, I truly love your content and look forward to everything you do! You are so talented!
Thank you, Alisha, for making this video. I was in a similar situation a few years ago, where my ex left me for another woman who fit his physical "ideal." I lost 35 and years later he found me on Facebook and told me I lost too much chunky. After watching this video, I’m starting to realize that I deserve to be with someone who will love and accept me for who I am. There are plenty of men out there who will appreciate me for my personality and not just my looks.
Aisha! Thank U for this very mature video. It was educational,Real & unapologetic. That's what I Admire about u the most. Take Care. You're the Sister,Yes even Mother I never had. Bless you ❤
Alicia, this was very good! These young ladies nowadays have no discernment and are just out here doing too much. I’ve been married for 26 years and listening to my colleagues talk about their dating nightmares makes me appreciate my husband even more. Thank you for an amazing talk!
You are dropping GOSPEL today!!!! Unfortunately it took me 27 years of a one-sided marriage to finally stop taking 1/4 and thinking I’m good, before I filed for divorce and I’m so happy I’m relearning me!, And my sexual partners including my ex equals 4….and I’m 51 So now, I’m learning to be content with me, know me, challenge me. Love me
If you wouldn’t get on an elevator and not select a floor…don’t stay in a relationship going nowhere…with no direction. Same concept. This was a great video!
I see a lot of women saying wait for marriage, marriage is not a guarantee the bliss you are expecting. Some married men still walk around like they are single as a dollar bill. It's not until a man decides to change himself on the inside and find that bliss for himself will you fill that ultimate experience. Men change for what they want and do what they need to do to keep it.
Celibacy is important. My stuff is golden and that person has to prove hjs worth. How do they treat you during the courtship, if not as a precious jewell, the intimacy will be selfish. I am old school put a ring on it. Girl your transparency is on point.
4:34 my husband and I had the same conversation yesterday. I was telling him about a guy that told me I am not his type and he usually dated thinner women. The way I ran so fast! He thought it was a compliment. 😂Oh he begged me back. NOPE.
Body count does matter. Not in regards to how a man will look at you but how you see yourself. Being a woman is so many phenomenal things, like Alicia said, and part of that is protecting the pride between your legs.
Love channel been watching since u started. I’m a mature woman and great subject. Advice is to become friends FIRST. Friends have something that connects them. It creates a deeper bond. Intimacy is different conversations are different just everything. U don’t feel so weird talking or doing certain things because you see them as a friend and lover. He will see u the same way so situations come up he will think about your feelings because he see u as a friend not just “somebody he just doing “.
Don’t give so much so of yourself so quickly. While dating - The date should not be about where you go or how much was spent. This is your time to get to know this person. Can you spend real time together? You should know this fairly quickly. Let’s stop this 2-5 yr dating trend. 👏Some people are good lovers but not a pleasure to be around. I can’t go for that!
THIS is the video I’ve been waiting for and I said when Alicia is ready. Whew so it’s funny but I had been toying with a blog idea exactly called “Things I Wish My Mother Told Me”. The love, I felt, of my life hurt me so bad it’s caused me to be single for over 10 years now. I saw the signs but I didn’t want to believe it. What he said did not meet the actions. I thought he was the one I was going to marry but after we were done, he married someone else. So, gurl, you are absolutely right about EVERYTHING you mentioned. I know I’m too kind, too sweet, too accommodating, too generous, too giving and that’s just me but I can’t do the dating thing anymore. I’m happy being single.
If you pay attention in the bedroom you will see where you stand in a relationship with this man! Most of the time in my experience that will show a lot ! Love this talk!! I also have learned this shit !:) So so true i appreciate you putting this out into this world, we all need it!
Wow, this is good information. The crazy thing about this is I was just watching some of your old videos about you talking about topics on men not respecting us as women. COUCH CHRONICLES. Those old videos helped me just like the one you just did. Thank you😊
GREAT topics!! My mom never had those conversations with me either. I had to learn by trial and error and dealing with some fools, but I did learn but it could have been better with that knowledge. Thank you!
If you pay attention in the bedroom you will see where you stand in a relationship with this man! Most of the time in my experience that will show a lot ! Love this talk!!
My advice is that is not sleep with any man you are dating. This will sort that chaff from the wheat. If a man really loves and wants he will be there regardless. Also never chase a man and never live with broke man. You will be guaranteed to be used for free. Ladies know your worth. I have learned this the hard way. Also develop a relationship with lord he will surprise you Alisha.
This was the right video for me in this moment bc I just got out of a year and a half long relationship w/a very grown man. He checked a lot of the boxes and even added some I didn’t even know I wanted. However, he had a rough past that I don’t think he fully healed from, and that reared its ugly head whenever we drunk too much and argued. The tip I learned was that abuse isn’t always obvious, and emotional abuse is very real and can be just as painful as a punch.
My prayers are with you gurlie been there done that when you least expect that person will find you just watch it happened like that for me and im soooooooooo HAPPY RIGHT NOW🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 thank God!
Oh my, how much do I appreciate you, let me count the ways. You keep it real, and I think as your channel,has evolved you have opened up,and allowed us in. You do not owe anyone that, but it really allows your followers to know you, like you, and feel you. I soooo appreciate this video. I just went through a crisis in my 3 year relationship that I thought was perfect after 9 years of raising my kids and being afraid to date. I put it all on the line, fell in love, moved him in and this was a good man, he stepped up,for me, my kids. Guess what, he betrayed me, apparently never having done this to another women or his wife of 30 years….and yet as you said I am an amazing partner, I love deeply, care deeply, I am affectionate, like sex, thoughtful and kind. Yet in that moment I was not enough. But guess what I know I am a good catch, so that was a him problem, at 55 I have learned the hard way to,respect myself,and demand what i deserve. You are amazing, thank you fellow AQUARIUS for,keeping it real.
Good episode queen! In the words of Quavo and VP Harris..."Does he walk it like he talks it". Also like you mentioned some men are quite selfish. They want you to do them, but when its their turn, they dont want to reciprocate. They're like..."oh I dont do that". That's when you should be like neither do I!
Heyy Luv, you spoke nothing but the truths in this video. I'm soo glad you shared insights on these topics. I hope, pray and wish you well. You're so blessed, and I'm here for it. I'm 56 and love you, keep being your true self.....❤❤❤❤
The best advice that I have for women and sex is "Don't fake it." If he is not pleasing you, or you are not liking what is happening SAY THAT. That will humble him real quick! If y'all need to put clothes back on and try again tomorrow, do that! Whatever you do, dont lay there and pretend girl. Either you guys will figure it out together, or he's not the one.
I got so so tired of being out in the world. My heart was run over and weary. I had to come to an understanding that dating and sex outside of marriage wrecks you inside and out. This lifestyle leaves you drained, bitter and emotionally dysfunctional. The longer I was living this way the worse I became, I had no idea what love really was. Young ladies please don't live this way. Go after Jesus with that same passion and energy you go after a man. Delight yourself in the one who created you and He will bring you what you need, He is your purpose. I know we hear this all the time but trust me its facts. When you experience the good uncoditional love God has for you, you are complete. A man is just extra at this point.
Amen Sis. Again if we claim to be Christian women and we don’t do it God’s way we are left empty and trying to rid ourselves of the negative spirit we have allowed into our spirit.
Alicia really enjoyed the realness of your video today. Thank you for advice good for any age.
Even inside if marriage it gets old too
Amen. Yes girl. You are one of the few people I watch on UA-cam that I totally agree.
Amen sis!pray u find a godly one❤
“I can’t be with somebody and raise them at the same time” that right there.
This is coming from your older auntie: If you have been with a man for more than two or three years and you're still 'dating,' it's not going anywhere, move on. If you find yourself dressing down, speaking less, and trying to appear as less than you are, that's a precursor to abuse, move on. If he hasn't told his friends and family about you after a couple of months, you're not important to him, move on. Watch how he treats his family, especially the women in his family; if he calls his sister names or is dismissive of his mother, that's just you in the future, move on. I did tell my daughter some hard truths, I didn't harp on it or call all men dogs but I told her the truth; still not sure she wanted to hear it.
I am a middle-aged woman whose mother told the same thing. We don't have time to wait around for someone. Some think they can keep you on hold while they are still looking for their idea, no just leave.
I also was taught but my older sister to stop being nice ti men. Men are naturally hunters so we should be hard to get.
"Ladies, a man knows within FOUR MONTHS if you're the one or not. Men are simple. It don't take us that long! Men go HARD for what they want. If he's not chasing and pursuing you, you're NOT what he wants!" (Steve Harvey)
Ladies, get these books: "The Game - 41 shades of men" by Princella Clark, and "30 reasons why men deserve NOTHING: Level up to your best life by Imani Forester. You will NEVER be played again. Get ready to find out the TRUTH about how men think about women.
Most men today are seeking women with professional careers who are established so that they can "BENEFIT" and use her for resources. There is NO love, monogamy, commitment, or marriage in their game. Be careful!! DO NOT have s3x, move in with him, and live with him for years washing, cooking, cleaning; being a "place holder". He's not going to marry you. He's waiting on his "dream girl." When she comes along, he will drop you; and marry her within 6 months!
It is so important to have your own BAG, home, car, degree, career, good credit, savings & checking account, emergency fund, life & health insurance. Make sure you have ALL these things BEFORE you get married. When you meet a man, he should have his own also, plus have a clean jail/prison free background. If not, DO NOT date or marry him! It is a RED FLAG 🚩he is not responsible or financially stable. He will look to YOU to pay for everything in the relationship.
My work dad gave me dating advice one day and said "never let a man know what you like at the beginning of a relationship. Most will use it to deceive you." Furthermore he said to just sit back and watch how he treats you and determine if what he offers is what you like.
So true.. We give the road map to our hearts and when they think they got us.. The real them show up and you get NOTHING ELSE.
When they ask: "What type of man are you looking for?" NEVER tell them. They want to know so they can "pretend" to be that person, and use you to get what he wants then leave. Just say: "Someone who can be themselves". Now he has no "playbook" to go by.
"Learn to judge a man by his ACTIONS, and you will never be fooled by his words!"
so wise. i was told something similar... never tell a man your dreams before he tells you his.
"Affection is not a replacement for action."
@@renitas.7973 and definitely not a replacement for love
Explain having ur shizzzz together? Seriously because l what to know how people define that…. Men always say that too
As a middle-aged woman, the best advice is to listen to your God-given intuition. Don't change your standards, and most importantly love yourself literally! If a man is not courting you and putting in the energy to impress you, that is a REAL RED FLAG. Let a man be a man. If he doesn't take his position, he is not your guy.
This! At 51 I agree👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿
YUP!
Amen! 🫶🏽🙏🏽
No volume
I totally agree with that. Let men be the hunter and make the effort first. If he doesn’t, then that means he doesn’t want to.
Ladies PLEASE PLEASE vote!! This is a must for democracy and women's rights.
Tell me you didn’t watch the video without telling me
We are a Republic.
It took me years and years to learn the hard way,the life consuming way,the life draining way that self-love must be first and foremost in any woman's life. When you do not truly love yourself ,it shows. You can't cover it up with makeup.I had to learn never ever to compromise self for anything about who I am however I feel, or the way I think to any man If If a man cannot respectfully listen to my views and have an intelligent exchange of viewpoints, I can't use his business In a relationship of limited communication,limited conversation is often a warning sign of something that a man is hiding from me. Silence is not always golden.. I've learned to accept and feel proud of my God-given uniqueness. There are no duplicates.I've learned not to give the impression of being needy. I've learned to hang on to any relationship when the signs are pointing to the intersection of Heartbreak Road and a Dead-end Street. If I see the signs early enough, I turn myself around. Maya Angelou warned us,"If a person tells you who he is,believe him the first time." I learned that second - and third time chances are nothing but a waste of my precious life. Life is too precious to waste on the depression caused by heartbreak. Finally, my spiritual faith allows me to know that I am beautifully and wonderfully created.I have no time to waste on anyone who doesn't appreciate this unique,intelligent,beautiful creation of God. Thank you, Jesus!!!!!
What does this have to do with the video.
@francerhodes7284 If you don't vote, you may not be able to enjoy videos like this anymore as some politicians want to decide what you can read and view.
Alisha, this video is a whole WORD and I am here for it! As a middle age woman, you are correct, our mamas and older women in our family told us the basics and don’t get pregnant! Thank you for sharing this! ♥️😊😘🥰♥️
Hunty!!! I love this video and all of the topics that you covered. As a mature over 50 woman I WISH I had known what I know now about men, sex, marriage etc…. Once you understand how the mind of a man works and you understand your worth life is golden. More of this types of videos please!!!
@@shaynewillis3546 Hunty, Dat rite dare!!!!
My best advice for my Sisters is to “SAVE SEX FOR MARRIAGE”. Can we make that great again? Celibacy is so cool, and it truly eliminates the majority of the problems mentioned in this video.
Get to truly know the man. Get to know if you are compatible. Ask questions. Get to know his family…. How he was raised….. Where he places his values.
Love yourself enough to make him wait.
Is it just me?
I am in agreement with this.
Yesss! Take your cookie off the table! ❤
@@burdened_with_purpose YES 🙌🏾
A man will not walk into your life, and love you more than you love yourself.
YOU set your worth. YOU set your standard. YOU set your limits. YOU set your boundaries.
The man who is for you, will wait for you! I stand on that.
SISTERS, let’s give our Sisters the best, and most important information. Telling our Girls to watch their body count sounds so bad to me. Let’s teach them better than that…. They are BETTER THAN THAT. Let’s teach them the value of virginity, celibacy, patience, femininity….
Facts!
I'm not even religious and I stand by this.
I'm in my 40's and I have been hurt terribly and I've made so many mistakes with not loving myself in the correct way. I'm at a point that I don't even want to be bothered
SAME! And um in my 50's, lol!
you said it... you made the mistake in not loving YOU correctly.. if you can't of course he won't.. I say everyone should take the time to date themselves and find out your likes and dislikes and what you will and won't tolerate from someone entering into your life. You control what happens around and to you.. TAKE CHARGE!!!!!
I'm 45 and going through a divorce after 9 years and 15 years together. This has been the hardest yet peacefull season of my life. I'm now healing and moving on and dealing with myself and kids. It's all about us now!!!
Sis, everything you said was spot on. Women need to hear this. I agree with everything. I can’t even get past the initial hello. Meeting men online who don’t know how to have a conversation, I can’t. I have yet to meet a man that can show me that it’s better to be a couple, than single. 😢😢
The term "cuddy buddy" isn't made up. They love the cooking, cleaning, adoration, and affection you provide while chasing their "ideal" person at the same time. Trust me, Karma is real and they will find someone who will treat them as they treated you. I have seen it work both ways!
I have too and it happened so fast 😮💨
At least you got away child free. No life long attachment being a baby mama.
Go Ahead Alisha... talk your talk.... This is that grown-ish that women do need to talk about. I'm sure at least 3/4 of your subscribers can relate to everything you said..... Thank you for opening this door up..... I'm here for it all.
Love the message! I’m a 51 year young , married women. Let me please add to the conversation. 1. WOMEN , please set the tone of the relationship early 2. Never chase!!! Let him chase you. They love a challenge.
Great video, u touched on many subjects that need to be addressed. The main one being ,it’s better to be in no relationship, rather than a bad one .❤
🗣️💯
Alisha, I never comment on you tube videos and this is the 1st time I have. Thank you for this convo. It was so needed and important. I hope you do more of these in the future. This shift was so what we needed! Thank you my Sister.
Heyyy Queen! 👑 All my sisters are beautiful black lioness queens, and the fact you took time to make a video for those who needed a little reinforcement, continue to be pretty and highly blessed! 💐🩷💜💛
I think you need a podcast,because you do speak the truth and a lot of young women need to know that.
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
I love your “10 ways to wear it” content, but you took it somewhere else and I am here for it! You absolutely need to go there with your platform. I’m older than you and I had my glass of wine and sipped right along with you, yes I did, and you did that! I left a husband with our two children many years ago because of his cheating and disrespect, so if I did that, I definitely will bounce on anyone else, I have no patience with these dudes. No, I’m not meeting them half way, no I’m not teaching them how to be a man, no I’m not settling for men who only check some of the boxes, check all the boxes or you’re not for me. It’s simple criteria, the boxes aren’t hard to check. You hit it outta the park ❤
If the boxes aren't checked send them on their way.
You done did it with this video! I wish I had this in my 20s. Im Now 40 and STILL learning. Thank you you sis. Lil sisters out there, listen to this auntie!
Body count is a huge measure for me, Im over 50 & I can count on 1 hand. Definitely have to raise your values & protect your temple-all women need to value our body.
YUP!
Body count is a personal choice. It wont change how men will treat u in the end, esp as you arent obligated to tell anyone ur body count
@@ToniaAlex13Thank you!!!
Love yourself first don’t go looking for love
Yes when you love yourself you know what you deserve and you wont settle for less.
Sis you did a thang with this video, no lies told
"matches my generosity and my heart" thats a word
Sometime we need to ask ourselves why do we keep getting into the same type of relationship. What is missing in us that allows us to keep settling for less than what we want.
Yes we got to take responsibility for our own happiness! I know how a man treats his queen I’ve experienced it. If I can sense I’m not his queen type I’m gone. I know how it feels to be treated as a court jester too. Not good!
I'm a mother of three daughters and I tried to tell them about life in their teens, I would get "Oh Mom You Don't Trust Nobody" or "Oh Mom He's Nice". My mother told me very little just Don't get with no baby, but didn't tell me about sex. I wanted to be more informative with my daughters, but they weren't trying to hear me, so I let them live & learn!
Hey sis! The makeup is flawless, now let me get back to the video
I was always taught that you don't start nothing you're not going to keep up and I have lived by that my whole life. My father instill in me that I was a prize and I always felt like that too. I have been married 30 years and my husband treats me the same as day one and with that being said I'm good to him also. Great video!!!!
This was a REAAAALLLLLL vlog, girl, I love it. REAL TALK for REAL WOMEN, YASSSSSSSSSSS
Alisha, whoa, this is deep & a difficult but much needed topic. Let me preface by stating I am happily married, but I went through these exact difficult situations. Thank you for bringing this to the forefront. I feel the pain associated with these topics!!! Great job sis😊
I was friends for 8 years before I got together with my partner. It's by far the best relationship I've had. There were no surprises and we already had a mutual respect for each other❤ We've been together for 11 years❤
💯🎯🙌🏽
This is so informative, thank you for being transparent.
I love you gurl. We are best friends. Thank you for this video. I just turned 51 and I can relate to everything you’ve said and I’m at the point of my life that I am happy by myself and I have such peace. I learned to take accountability for what I allow in my life and to stop being a fixer.
This was an important, much needed topics for women. I totally agree with your messages. There’s to much going on out in this wicked world to not be paying attention too. I have been in relationships that I was blessed to get out of. TFS Alicia and praying for your sister for her speedy recovery.❤
Bravo 👏 👏👏this girl talk is on point! Thank you, so many of us need to hear this. This talk is nothing but the truth!
Girl you delivered! The Tea was real and good! Thanks for keeping it 100 in your delivery! My prayers are with you Alisha , I feel God presence in you soul! Yassss!
Most of us didn't learn this from our caregivers. We do need to help each other out. Thanks for having the hard conversation with us.
This was a good one ❤ Very enlightening and just what alot of ladies need to hear, no matter the age. Keep wm coming Licia.
This was a great video. Thanks for being vulnerable and honest with us
I love this chitchat let’s do it more
Right?! The only thing better would be in person or what about Zoom or a Google Meet?
Yeah she should have it where we can call in and we share that way....
@@liliwms508I vote for Google Meet!!!
Guard your spirit and your heart and your body will be protected
Happy Sunday Alisha. I'm so interested in this conversation. I can totally relate. You're right. My relationship track record has not been good. I have always been drawn to men who need " motivation" or the ones who l thought was "out of my league". And of course since l've gotten older, l've realized that l am incredible woman. I have alot to offer. Yes! I felt that Alisha, love bombing is real. I was in a relationship with someone for years that was not healthy. He still tries to spin the block especially when he sees that l'm living my best life and looking good, doing me. Thedating pool is absolute trash. I am so over the my man, my man, man mentality. We all deserve to be loved outloud and intentional.
Kudos, sis!! This video is all the things that women should know. Thank you for keeping it real.
A person’s love language is not how they show love, it’s how they receive it. So, if you show love by giving gifts but the receiver’s love language is words of affirmation, that person is not going to interpret your gifts as love. You’re going to be pissed because you’ll feel that the other person is ungrateful. However, it’s your fault because you’re not “speaking their language.” You have to love people the way they want to be loved, not how you want to love them. If you can’t, or won’t, do that, then you have to move on because neither of you will ever get what you need out of the relationship.
But that is her point. Giving and receiving gifts are her love languages so she is not going to be happy with someone who isn't on that same level. And that is exactly why she said she wouldn't rate the affection over the action. That is her love language and it's valid. Don't forget that these are all from her point of view so her views relate to how she understands things
@@aesinam I was using “you” to speak in general terms on my understanding of how love languages work, not to invalidate anyone’s perspective but to give a slightly
different one as part of the conversation. I don’t remember who told me about the book on love languages but I thought it was a game changer. How you show love is irrelevant if you’re not using the other person’s love language. I was just responding to the comment about love languages being bs, again, as part of the conversation.
Loved this discussion topic. Sorely needed for a lot of us who were never taught the realities of relationships by the females in our lives. As an older woman, I've experienced a lot of the issues you discussed. I have come to understand, that God allowed me to experience the relationship valleys to teach me what I do not want, to set boundaries and honor myself.
Amen to a lot of the things that you said! 💯 But I don’t need to tell anyone about my body count because they don’t get judged on their body count. JS. Also, I truly love your content and look forward to everything you do! You are so talented!
Thank you, Alisha, for making this video. I was in a similar situation a few years ago, where my ex left me for another woman who fit his physical "ideal." I lost 35 and years later he found me on Facebook and told me I lost too much chunky. After watching this video, I’m starting to realize that I deserve to be with someone who will love and accept me for who I am. There are plenty of men out there who will appreciate me for my personality and not just my looks.
Aisha! Thank U for this very mature video. It was educational,Real & unapologetic. That's what I Admire about u the most. Take Care. You're the Sister,Yes even Mother I never had. Bless you ❤
Alicia, this was very good! These young ladies nowadays have no discernment and are just out here doing too much. I’ve been married for 26 years and listening to my colleagues talk about their dating nightmares makes me appreciate my husband even more. Thank you for an amazing talk!
You are dropping GOSPEL today!!!! Unfortunately it took me 27 years of a one-sided marriage to finally stop taking 1/4 and thinking I’m good, before I filed for divorce and I’m so happy I’m relearning me!,
And my sexual partners including my ex equals 4….and I’m 51
So now, I’m learning to be content with me, know me, challenge me. Love me
Sis...we played it twice to hear you say it again ..peace and blessings
If you wouldn’t get on an elevator and not select a floor…don’t stay in a relationship going nowhere…with no direction. Same concept. This was a great video!
I see a lot of women saying wait for marriage, marriage is not a guarantee the bliss you are expecting. Some married men still walk around like they are single as a dollar bill. It's not until a man decides to change himself on the inside and find that bliss for himself will you fill that ultimate experience. Men change for what they want and do what they need to do to keep it.
ALL FACTS!! Thank you for this video, Alicia. I totally agree! ❤
Celibacy is important. My stuff is golden and that person has to prove hjs worth. How do they treat you during the courtship, if not as a precious jewell, the intimacy will be selfish. I am old school put a ring on it. Girl your transparency is on point.
4:34 my husband and I had the same conversation yesterday. I was telling him about a guy that told me I am not his type and he usually dated thinner women. The way I ran so fast! He thought it was a compliment. 😂Oh he begged me back. NOPE.
Enjoyed this grown woman chat ❤❤
Body count does matter. Not in regards to how a man will look at you but how you see yourself. Being a woman is so many phenomenal things, like Alicia said, and part of that is protecting the pride between your legs.
Love channel been watching since u started. I’m a mature woman and great subject. Advice is to become friends FIRST. Friends have something that connects them. It creates a deeper bond. Intimacy is different conversations are different just everything. U don’t feel so weird talking or doing certain things because you see them as a friend and lover. He will see u the same way so situations come up he will think about your feelings because he see u as a friend not just “somebody he just doing “.
Don’t give so much so of yourself so quickly. While dating - The date should not be about where you go or how much was spent. This is your time to get to know this person. Can you spend real time together? You should know this fairly quickly. Let’s stop this 2-5 yr dating trend. 👏Some people are good lovers but not a pleasure to be around. I can’t go for that!
THIS is the video I’ve been waiting for and I said when Alicia is ready. Whew so it’s funny but I had been toying with a blog idea exactly called “Things I Wish My Mother Told Me”. The love, I felt, of my life hurt me so bad it’s caused me to be single for over 10 years now. I saw the signs but I didn’t want to believe it. What he said did not meet the actions. I thought he was the one I was going to marry but after we were done, he married someone else. So, gurl, you are absolutely right about EVERYTHING you mentioned. I know I’m too kind, too sweet, too accommodating, too generous, too giving and that’s just me but I can’t do the dating thing anymore. I’m happy being single.
If you pay attention in the bedroom you will see where you stand in a relationship with this man! Most of the time in my experience that will show a lot ! Love this talk!! I also have learned this shit !:)
So so true i appreciate you putting this out into this world, we all need it!
Wow, this is good information. The crazy thing about this is I was just watching some of your old videos about you talking about topics on men not respecting us as women. COUCH CHRONICLES. Those old videos helped me just like the one you just did. Thank you😊
I enjoyed this chit chat & the comments….a beautiful sister circle filled with support, encouragement & love for one another! 🫶🏽👑
GREAT topics!! My mom never had those conversations with me either. I had to learn by trial and error and dealing with some fools, but I did learn but it could have been better with that knowledge. Thank you!
Whew! So many truths were told. This chat was great!❤
This was great 👍🏽
The honesty is so refreshing!!!
I think you gave a word this Sunday afternoon. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾❤❤
This video came right on time! Needed to hear this WORD!!
Thank you!
Thank for sharing you thoughts!!!! Love the chat!!!
I am excited to listen to this convo 💕
THANK YOU FOR SHARING AND BEING TRANSPARENT. GREAT THAT I AM GOING TO SHARE WITH EVERY YOUNG LADY I KNOW 💕🙏
If you pay attention in the bedroom you will see where you stand in a relationship with this man! Most of the time in my experience that will show a lot ! Love this talk!!
Depending on the situation you can see it before that. I haven’t been wrong yet but went against my intuition a few times.
And thank God you got your Power back,don’t give it up
My advice is that is not sleep with any man you are dating. This will sort that chaff from the wheat. If a man really loves and wants he will be there regardless. Also never chase a man and never live with broke man. You will be guaranteed to be used for free. Ladies know your worth. I have learned this the hard way. Also develop a relationship with lord he will surprise you Alisha.
Yes
Amen! I hear you. I’ve been there ❤️🙏🏾
I loved this! This is definitely info we need to share more of.
Girl I walked away no more.. it's all about me now ..all the best to you ok keep strong.
This was the right video for me in this moment bc I just got out of a year and a half long relationship w/a very grown man. He checked a lot of the boxes and even added some I didn’t even know I wanted. However, he had a rough past that I don’t think he fully healed from, and that reared its ugly head whenever we drunk too much and argued.
The tip I learned was that abuse isn’t always obvious, and emotional abuse is very real and can be just as painful as a punch.
My prayers are with you gurlie been there done that when you least expect that person will find you just watch it happened like that for me and im soooooooooo HAPPY RIGHT NOW🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 thank God!
Oh my, how much do I appreciate you, let me count the ways. You keep it real, and I think as your channel,has evolved you have opened up,and allowed us in. You do not owe anyone that, but it really allows your followers to know you, like you, and feel you. I soooo appreciate this video. I just went through a crisis in my 3 year relationship that I thought was perfect after 9 years of raising my kids and being afraid to date. I put it all on the line, fell in love, moved him in and this was a good man, he stepped up,for me, my kids. Guess what, he betrayed me, apparently never having done this to another women or his wife of 30 years….and yet as you said I am an amazing partner, I love deeply, care deeply, I am affectionate, like sex, thoughtful and kind. Yet in that moment I was not enough. But guess what I know I am a good catch, so that was a him problem, at 55 I have learned the hard way to,respect myself,and demand what i deserve. You are amazing, thank you fellow AQUARIUS for,keeping it real.
Hey Gurl, oh my gosh i love this. So true, everythng ur saying resonated with me. Lov lov this gurl
Good episode queen! In the words of Quavo and VP Harris..."Does he walk it like he talks it". Also like you mentioned some men are quite selfish. They want you to do them, but when its their turn, they dont want to reciprocate. They're like..."oh I dont do that". That's when you should be like neither do I!
Loved Everything about this sit down❣️
This video came at the perfect time. I needed to hear all of this right now! Thank you!!
I really enjoyed this little chat, wish it were a LIVE.....you should go live next time with this cause I got a lot to say lol
Love, the conversation. Thank you for sharing truth with us.
This video was on point sis
OMG, you said it giiiirl... Jamaica 🇯🇲 sends love ❤️
Such a great video ♥️ very well said
This has been a very important conversation. A teachable video
Thank you for this insight! Spot on and Love this type of content 😊
Heyy Luv, you spoke nothing but the truths in this video. I'm soo glad you shared insights on these topics. I hope, pray and wish you well. You're so blessed, and I'm here for it. I'm 56 and love you, keep being your true self.....❤❤❤❤
I love the raw honesty of this. Just beautiful 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿
The best advice that I have for women and sex is "Don't fake it." If he is not pleasing you, or you are not liking what is happening SAY THAT. That will humble him real quick! If y'all need to put clothes back on and try again tomorrow, do that! Whatever you do, dont lay there and pretend girl. Either you guys will figure it out together, or he's not the one.
THIS!!! Have said this to my friends that i refuse to fake
Thank you so much for this information, I was just talking about this so thanks again for sharing this ❤