The First Step To ENDING Emotional Abuse
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- Опубліковано 16 вер 2024
- #shorts
The first step in ending emotional abuse is acknowledging that it exists.
It can be difficult to do this, as the abuser can have you believing that you are the bad guy for over-reacting, for even implying that this is abuse, that you are too emotional, etc.
The first step is being able to see it and name it for what it is, then you are on your way to healing and emancipation.
#marriagerecovery #marriagerecovery #marriagerecoverycenter #emotionalabuse
They twist things around on you and make you the bad guy, the crazy one, the drama queen…
Stay grounded in what you know to be true, don't get sucked into the crazy-making.
@@drdavidbhawkins In May of last year, I finally walked away after 8 years of his abuse. I’ve never been more at peace.
yep, and they're so convincing and good at lieing so every one believes them and your left alone on your own to suffer and attempt to start a whole new life from nothing....
It’s so true I deal with it In family can’t wait to move if I was offered millions of dollars I’d move in a heartbeat
Play the victim, teyibg to get us to pitty them
Just blocked a man yesterday that I’d been dating. I finally figured out he was emotionally abusive. Bullet dodged!
Same!
Start upholding boundaries and journalling daily
Can I please give an example of upholding boundaries in an abusive situation?
@@strongwomen630 meaning, draw a line to make that abuser know what you will and will not tolerate. You can add consequences to them too
I need to do this
@@daniellatan9016 unfortunately, that doesnt work for parents. They have much more authority over me. They can do whatever they want to me. Thry dont HAVE to agree with my clear set boundaries. I cant give them consequences for going too far, for hirting me, ect. I need help
@@Virtual_Melatonin tough cookie if you still their dependent, I get you
Being married to one, it kills emotional connection and intimacy. So then what's the point staying married?
If they have children maybe..
@@emma_em_11so just stay for the kids, right? Cause that will help them overcome generational trauma…mom just better tough it out for the kid’s…
March 1st is the beginning for me. It took me 23 years. 🎉🎉
My parents died as a result of severeeeee harassment from a narcissist and I developed ptsd so bad I can barely function can any lawyer help me get justice for them.
I ended my emotional abuse that was happening to me by divorcing the perpetrator, twice.
Glad you are in a better place now. Hope you have found healing.
Yes!!! I finally walked away 5 yrs is long enough!!! Thank you❤
Hugs sent your way , over 4 yrs here as well ❤
That is awesome...do you have tips on how you did it?
🙏⭐️☀️
25 years here and FINALLY chose myself and my health. For those of you that ask how she did it…I would say two things. 1. Love yourself enough to know you are worth more than the way they are treating you. And 2. Stop believing that they will one day get it. Because I did that for 25 years! And here I am…with so many health issues and a fraction of the person I used to be. All because I stayed and believed that “one day he would see.” Also, don’t stay for the kids. Because my oldest son was 3 when we got married. And because he endured the abuse, he had also suffered. At 28, he is a functioning alcoholic trying to pick up the pieces for being blamed for the marriage issues. Be strong! Even if you lose everything, you can start over and be better off. ❤
The fact that I understood everything you mentioned, is sad. It’s time to make it all come to an end. I had years of my life taken by a narcissist. I hope all reading this, don’t let it be you!! I beg you.😢
Hey how's it going?😢
Thank you and God bless you Dr. David Hawkins. I’m a Christian, and my Lord Jesus Christ is my Strength. Please don’t judge me. I just want to thank you because many verbally abusive people say stuff out of context because they were abused. Anyways, thank you and God bless you always. 🥊💖🙏🏾
I have a child with him and he switches from me leaving to being my fault to his fault then back to my fault. I could handle it when it was just me but when my child started getting called names I couldn’t reconcile that in my mind. This is hard. Very, very hard. Feels like grief of losing someone and it’s deep.
It absolutely is one of the hardest things anyone has to endure, and almost impossible when you are going it alone. We hope you are getting the support and help you need
Children don’t deserve this! Let the person go be miserable, don’t overthink it. Please!
@@drdavidbhawkins thank you. I do have a support system but my mind is my own worst enemy sometimes. We will get there!!
It’s the ILLUSION of losing someone who showed you nice moments. You’re grieving the loss of someone who didn’t exist. And your child will too. But it’s better than continuously exposing yourself and your child to that level of abuse. You will become more and more beaten down, and have barely enough energy for basic tasks. The sooner you can find motivation and support to leave, the sooner you will recover. Turn to God (if that’s your belief system). At minimum, turn to your “higher self” for guidance and safety. Good luck.
Omg same
Husband out of work for three months. I took a job off of being a stay at home mom. He was a drunk and a user the whole time. Took a vacation to Jamaica for two weeks without me. I did pregnancy and motherhood with a newborn alone. He’s supposedly reformed.
Husband: I’m going to make things easier for you. I want you to take this time to rest since you didn’t get to rest ever since having our son.
5am two year old is crying for food. He’s up and ready to eat. He’s fussing and whining. I get up to get him a snack. Husband still is asleep. I ask husband where is child’s bottle. He grumbled annoyed. “I guess I’ll get up again”.
Me: are you expecting me to get up and make breakfast?
He goes off about how he’s tired. He’s not expecting me to do anything. He’s just tired and expressing he’s tired. I can’t get a word in. Now I’m being too much. Now I’m starting stuff.
He gets up and turns the light on us hurting our eyes. Is loud getting his stuff then goes to the kitchen and blasts his music very loud and the TV.
Does this sound like emotional abuse?
Most definitely
I'm in it. I am afraid. I have been beat, choked, have been gaslighted and thrown, kicked, abandoned and I acknowledge this. He says I am crazy. If I set a boundry, he punishes me. I am disabled. I need him and yet he leaves me knowing this. EDIT ADD ON. ( since my husband left it has been so peaceful it's like the way it should be and I'm getting stronger because I'm on Al-Anon and I'm learning the 12 steps. I'm not trying to fix him I'm not trying to fix him I'm not giving him advice I'm not encouraging him to come home he's had this problem since he was a kid but we're getting Madison and I are getting through this
Gosh, I'm so so sorry. It's hurting me right now
I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I promise to pray for your strength..you are beautiful, you matter, and you are cherished by God. Be well sister
Is there an assistance program or family? You need to get away from him now. I’m so sorry I hope you can have that strength. Life is short and your happiness and well being need your attention. Inside they’re begging for your help. And to realize they’ll never come from him they’ll only be destroyed.
@@tessamarie8698 thank you so much for responding I just now saw this. I guess I was just venting. The video just sort of made words come out of my mouth I know I can leave him. I'm almost there. It's hard because my daughter is autistic and she loves him she does not get beat and she doesn't want to leave and it's so hard. The good news is that he left
@@ashanti3869 thank you for mentioning prayer to me I'm sorry I just now saw your message. He left. I believe God removed him because I didn't have the courage to leave him I have been expressing to God that I am grateful for everything it has helped me so much. I have let go of the wheel God is in charge
Thank you for this. It is so hard to acknowledge. Been going back and forth to my abusive family. It has been a long process to end it. Feel more empowered but their is still some codependance.
i’m done i’m not going to be someone’s toy when they’re upset
Ending this abuse is not easy I am going through it now
Don’t just think of it, write it down.
Wish I could've seen this year's in advance but I was just so used to it because of my own mother so I just got used to it.
Glad I can at least know now:)
Glad you are becoming more aware and empowered to break free and heal.
My mom is in this situation and my uncle and ante had to get involved. We talked to my mom and she replied saying i was makeing it up...
The past few months I’ve had on and off arguments with my mum. I’m not going to say I’m always in the right but my mum in every argument makes me feel crazy and I end up questioning my own feelings and everything and think I’m horrible. Maybe I am that’s how she’s made me feel. Recently I’ve speaking up about the past as she’s made me feel very hurt. I told her that tonight and when I expressed my hurt in the past she said I can’t move on. She said that I only think about my own feelings, I’m self centred, I have no empathy for others. She then joked and said I think this all came up because you didn’t do your homework. She ended the conversation (turned into argument) and said go to your room saying the time and I’m meant to be in bed. I’m seventeen. I’m so tired of this environment and not feeling supported and when I say I don’t feel supported emotionally everyone says I’m being ridiculous.
You have a right to your thoughts and feelings, whether someone agrees with them or not. Here is a video on gaslighting that you may find helpful: ua-cam.com/video/zPazwTQhMnY/v-deo.html
@@drdavidbhawkins thank you 🙏
Thank You
If your unhappy leave. 🙁 Always be able to care for yourself so you can leave.
I don't know if I'm capable of living on my own never have before I feel like I'm to stupid to.
Easier said then done
I learned to honour me and I learned the language of reading off when it is becoming toxic and emotional abuse..I learned that not all pol has good intentions and not all ppl are not like me that is empathic. I learned also i am rare and by science studies there is about 1-2% of earth population that is empathic and actually by it healthyppl.
I need to find myself an healthy person if I ever shall be in an healthy relationship where my emotions are honoured and respected too whilst I try to honourable others and it not just gets onesided.
This knowledge has somewhat scared me off from dating but I know destiny will take me to him i just have to belive abd trust in myself abd avoid having an broken picker or end up in limerence being led on by someone thst has no good intentions for me..
Am 50+ abd I just had one healthy person in relationship with in my life (he choosed me and i til this day honouring him as an good man) rest has been toxic ppl..I still learning at my age to pick the right guy for me..
Maybe in old age i once again will experience true real authentic love again.
Coercion is done by this
I have endometriosis and doctors asked me to do IVF asap. My husband is now planning to go to work in a different country while asking me to do IVF now. He very well knows I will not have the support a pregnant woman needs from my family as they are hella abusive. But still he is making all arrangements to go abroad saying he should look after himself or no one will. I have closed my eyes to many things he did that hurt me but now I am afraid to move forward in this relationship. My gut says I will have to raise my child alone even if I am married to him. I don't know what to do. I am ready to do anything to make it right between us. But it doesn't feel like he would do the same.
LEAVE
Broken bones and black eyes heal. A shredded soul takes years to heal and the soul and mind scars last a lifetime. Leave now. Make your escape. The longer you stay, the longer it will take you to heal.
All these things about emotional abuse are very confusing to me because nowadays everything can be considered emotional abuse 🤷🏻♂️.
From my experience, sometimes both partners can be abusive to each other . Especially when emotions run high, and neither partner feels heard or respected.
I recommend for everybody to get this book
It is called. You are the one you've been waiting for internal Family systems.
It has been very helpful to me .
I pray to our Lord Jesus Christ, that it saves my marriage .
my moms bf is starting to act abusive and ive been thinking about hurting myself beacuse of it
Talk to a school counselor or teacher.
I'm so sorry to hear that she treats you this way. I've been in similar situation with my own mother. Please don't harm yourself sweetheart, it doesn't change or improve the situation in any way. You are not alone. You are worthy, you are precious. You dont deserve the way you're being treated. Sometimes we have to distance ourselves from toxic people, even if it is our family. Hugs and prayers for you. ❤
I don’t think you should hurt yourself for the bad people who are in your life right now if you need help you should reach out to a mental health worker don’t be afraid I was at first when I asked them for services but it was the best thing that I could have done Also I don’t know if you follow god but I started to trust and pray to him I went to a Christian church I like that church because it’s more uplifting than Catholic Church they sing and praise I listen to Christian music as well it always helps . But I found that god helped give me guidance you won’t always be in a dark place this is not your whole life this is just a chapter
🙏🙏🙏✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️
14 years of this. Just pain. Thats all.
I'm tired of being involved in an emotionally, mentally abusive cellphone and ground surveillance operation from strangers in my community! They've all said it doesn't exist but the same scenarios surrounding work, housing, banking, and cellphone use have been happening for 14 years. I'm sick and tired of the disposable people doing it!!! Leave me alone!
Ugh this is my husband 100%
Dont you wish he would just slap you.
Damn
You're not alone
@@Dom-vo9niwild question
This is also my mother
She’s a fruity narcissist who points out at her narcissistic exes yet doesn’t realises she’s one too, she mentally abused me to the point i beat myself up over mistakes and denies it.
Thank you 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
I'm fresh out of an abusive relationship. I took my twins and ran. We had to leave while he was working. I'm having trouble with post separation abuse and a trauma bond. I feel like now that I'm out and he's cycling between love bombing and abuse. He's in a love bombing phase, and I keep asking people close to me to bring me back down to earth. My mental is a mess. I can't cut full ties due to the twins, but do you have any advice to getting over feeling guilt, bad, and feeling like everything is my fault. I'm out but still feel like I need to tell him my every move. It's so intense.
All the times my mum said “just get over it” just like that make me sick. She’s also fruity (in a bad way) where she said “this person is narcissistic and abusive” while not realising she’s that too, even if i exposed her, she would guilt trip and gaslight me.
If my mum begs me forgiveness, I wouldn’t since she doesn’t forgive others
I'm so sorry you have to put up with that. You are worthy and deserving of more. I hope you get through this. Hugs ❤
I can't get him to stop talking crazy after only a 60 day marriage so I'm leaving
Perfect
Thank you so much for this...I needed this...if someone knows what I should do if my husband is emotionally, mentally and financially abusive..I don't work but I need to leave...are there places that help women in this situation? I would love to rent a room and go to work but I need help stepping up until I can get myself financially stable..Thank you in advance...😊
Help I’m so stuck in a bad place. It’s dirty, and I’ve been stuck here for three years because of the shame and embarrassment of being stuck in a dirty place with 20 dogs. I can’t get a job, I have no working vehicle 🚗 He was paying for my food and keeping me alive but now I feel helpless and he is abusive and violent. I never wanted to live like this. It started out with him giving me so many gifts that I just turned a blind eye to his disgusting actions. I wish on every star I see that I will find a better life one day. A life with no filth or clutter. 🙏 any help would mean the world to me
So sorry to hear what you're going through. Here are some videos that can help you take some first steps towards healing:
Healing From Emotional Abuse playlist:
ua-cam.com/play/PLzb_gedZa6y5VGEhh3V4Qt_Ksb0CNFdIz.html
Maybe you can call a safe house. They are in many countries.
So what if it actually isn’t there. No one ever addresses that. It’s always just “there” and the “abuser” must just be gaslighting etc.
Here is a resource to help determine if emotional abuse is present: marriagerecoverycenter.com/is-it-abuse/
they don't pull their weight!
How do you leave when you have two children? Can’t ask him to leave he says it’s his house too and I can’t leave with the kids that’s kidnapping. How do you get away from it
Write it down
This is exactly what’s been happening to me. The abuse and denial. Literally felt so trapped and alone that I was planning to commit suicide. I was finally able to get out of it but the realizations that are coming to me now of just how bad it was are making me think very dark. I can’t really live with myself if I’m being honest
You are a survivor, and have overcome what most don't. When you think back on it, it's easy to go to a dark place but think of instead how much stronger you are and be empowered! Take those thoughts captive and try to look at it through a different lense. I know it's easier said than done. Hugs❤
That’s not difficult at all. I’m always reminding myself everything that’s wrong with the relationship. What is wrong is no one will believe me.
I’m tired!
My life 🥲
Thanks for watching, please reach out if you need help. (206) 219-0145 or info@marriagerecoverycenter.com
I said so to my boyfriend and he threw a water bottle at my head now i have a big bruise and a pop knot an he says its not there an he didnt do that to me
I'm Getty abused help me call 911
Did you get the help you needed
And physical abuse
In my case, I was stripped of all my money, so him ignoring me for two days, is him saying “what are you going to do about it??” I went from physical abuse to emotional abuse and penniless because I wanted a husband for life ha ha