Sex tips that every man should learn: how to pleasure your partner to orgasm
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- Опубліковано 2 жов 2024
- Men who are aware of female sexual anatomy relax more around sex and enjoy their sexual pleasure more. Why? Because they don’t have to work so hard (no pun intended) to “give” their partner an orgasm.
Research shows that even in relationships, 85% of men will orgasm during sex while only 65% of women will orgasm during sex. Only 4% of women experience orgasm from only penetration, and a lot of women don’t have their first orgasm until they try a vibrator.
While the entertainment industry has culturally taught us that men only orgasm from thrusting fast and hard, there are more pleasurable experiences to be discovered. There’s so much sexual freedom that comes from learning about female sexual anatomy!
We cover topics like:
2:14: Why women have fewer orgasms than men and how it’s not your job to give your partner an orgasm (but tips to help you do it!)
4:30 How men can understand female anatomy to have mutual orgasms during sex
9:40 Introducing vibrators and sex toys for sex with a partner
12:30 Why vibration can cause men to orgasm too
15:00 What makes women orgasm and does penis size matter?
20:00 How to contact Dr. Laurie Mintz
*Dr. Laurie Mintz* is a Professor at the University of Florida where she teaches Human Sexuality to hundreds of undergraduates yearly. She has published over 55 academic works. She is the author of two popular press books-both with published studies demonstrating their effectiveness: Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters and How to Get It and A Tired Woman’s Guide to Passionate Sex. Mintz has a private practice, working with clients on general and sexual issues. She is a Fellow of the American Psychological Association, indicating that her work has had a positive national influence on the field of psychology.
#sex #relationship #penis #orgasms #anatomy #datingadvice #health #education
CONNECT WITH DR. LAURIE MINTZ:
Website: www.drlauriemi...
Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters- And How to Get It: [amzn.to/3wudYzY](amzn.to/3wudYzY)
Social media: drlauriemintz
CONNECT WITH ME (DR. SUSIE):
Website: drsusieg.com/
Instagram: / dr.susieg
RESOURCES:
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Disclaimer:
This information is not intended to substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of a healthcare professional with any questions you may have regarding treatment, medications/supplements, or any medical diagnoses. This information is intended for educational purposes only and is in no way to substitute the advice of a licensed healthcare professional.
Please tell me why every sex tip video I've ever seen is all about what THE MAN should learn or know about women??? Why is the responsibility to know everything and do everything right always put on us men??? Love you girls but DAMN! It wouldn't kill you to make an effort to learn a thing or two about us men as well . Modern men are not as simple as you all think we are. You want a good love life try putting some of your own effort into it and stop expecting men to know everything and do everything right. Trust me ladies, you can all learn a thing or two yourselves
I agree! I think it’s important for both sexes to know as much as they can to be able to best please and bless their partners.
True. Some women just lie there more or less like a log. Women need to be more communicative in bed instead of just expecting their partners to know everything about their body beforehand. Every woman is different and the mood/ arousal level is different every time too. Clear communication could take the guess work out of it as most men (including me) are bad with signals and guessing the intentions of women anyway.
I, can't imagine I am alone here, but put every effort into learning not everything I can about my partner. I understand that like women sex is not only anatomical. My partner and I were separated by distance but grew only closer and more intimate during that period. He was 65 and under a lot of stress, but he told me " I have been walking around for weeks and can't get anything done." He too took up space in my mind rent free. We hadn't touched each other for months. However, it does help if each partner knows each other and his/her anatomy as well as what works for the pair together.
😂😢🎉😅
Because most men don’t know their a$$ from a knothole about how to please a woman!
lol as a 76 year old male, i found oral sex for most women once you did some foreplay like a massage and other things was something that drove them crazy, lol, penetration was more for me after they got to the point of exploding from any touch down there, if you do things right you dont even need to penetrate much to get a women off and then you can do things to get yourself off but the foreplay i found to be more exciting than the actual act itself and most women responded greatly to this experience.
As a woman who very much desires penetrative sex I find the foreplay you describe is merely an entree to the main course that can be enjoyed very much mutually
Oral sex is the best, but men focus on penetration, sometimes my boyfriend didn't make r.
Yes, extended foreplay, sensual touch, teasing, oral sex all build a woman up.
Secondly, it may depend on the woman but being verbal is often a good help too. Telling her how good it feels, asking her how it feels, telling her how much she loves sex, maybe what kind of bad girl she is.
You know you did it right when she is practically begging for you to stick it in her.
Though when the f****** starts I pay attention to her response still because you can find a sensitive spot and just stop there and it drives them wild.
I’m just jealous you’re getting head. I’ll be married 32 years next month. I really miss getting head from my wife and give her pleasure. I tell her I have needs
I agree that a good oral and clitorial stimulation done right like you said is fantastic and essential to bring an intense amount of pleasure followed by an explosive wonderful orgasm (or orgasms) but most of the time I personally find penetration when done right as important for instance doggy style comes with a very deep intense penetration followed by another level and flavor of addictivly amazing and extreme pleasure...I also love clitorial stimulation with wild penetration....it's very beautifully orgasmic.
She is talking like she is explaining this to a 8 year old🙈
And only an 8 year old cares. Sex is not about reaching an orgasm; it is about feeling closer together afterwards. Don't concentrate selfishly on your organs. See your partner as somebody you would like to know better. Do the loving thing. Strong societies begin with strong relationships.
The guest talking like we’re all a bunch of preschoolers is making it difficult to take this seriously. This vid is aimed at adults, so ease up on the yall are idiots tone.😂
As a society, we really need to work on our communication. If a man is going down on a woman and she's more sensitive than most, she might be reluctant to ask him to lighten up. On the flip side, men often don't learn to ask about things like pressure and sensitivity. These two ladies talked straight about stuff that we all need to hear. The fact that they both had great personalities and could laugh while describing the topics at hand is important because it helps break the stigma.
Im 65 and have been hearing, this since the beginning of time. I could write several books, on why men cant be bothered. Good presentation, ignoring the man shaming.
I think the point to the video was there was no need for man shaming when we learn how it all works. They basically said it’s not our fault that women can be a little difficult even if we’re smaller/quicker or softer than we prefer. This was literally about a complete work around to all of those issues so we can get over it and enjoy sex again without relying on any of the above issues being resolved. The worst is having one or more of those problems and the woman wants nothing to do with sex if it’s not entirely the old fashioned way. That sucks. At 46, it would be helpful if my partner would be more alright with some outside help to make up for some of what age is doing to me. Not even a conversation has helped us.
As a man, I learned at an early age what women really want from sex. My very first partner was an older woman who told me exactly what to do.
Now as an old man, age 71, I continue to enjoy great sex with women despite the fact that my “equipment” doesn’t perform like it once did.
I’ve found most women don’t care about that.
The best advice I got is
"your duty is not to make her come but to help her come"
Ooooh, I like that!! Beautiful
I have been suffering from PE for all my life, now 48. The impact on my lives and others have been massive including a seperation. I have never heard this comment which would have helped me relax, not get so anxious in yhe bedroom. I just want to thank you guys for bringing this to us. In a world where we constantly hear the message to be a man you have to be able to satisfy your woman with your penis, and if you cant how much that invalidates you as a man. I felt such a relief when i heard you guys say most woman do not care about that. Focus on the way to give pleasure and they will love you forever. Opened my world. Thankyou
PE is an evolutionary thing, for the reproduction of the species. One couldnt spend the time to ensure pleasure for a woman, when another man or worst predatory creature was about to i nterfere! Take time to enjoy your own sensual feelings, use cannabis , smoking has helped, nlt too much but await the buzz, and proceed. As someone who has survived a m/cycle accident in my 40s , (now 71) being able to enjoy the sex has been a major ènjoyable factor in a marriage. "Slow down, you move too fast, got to make the moment last....feeling groovy...dah da dah...etc
The orgasm gap is as credible as the wage gap. The whole premise is that orgasm equates to satisfaction. Any man will tell you that a woman can lay there like a starfish and do nothing and the man can achieve orgasm , but orgasm like that is about half a step above masterbation . If the female partner is constantly disengaged , faking , or having sex out of duty or obligation , then masterbation is actually preferable. I'm also surprised with the figures because there is today a massive pressure for men to perform or the woman will move onto another partner. When it comes to oral sex , if a man wont go down on his female partner there is no question she will go else where , but a woman can blush and say she isn't that kind of woman and get out of it entirely . When it comes to swallowing the man has no choice but to take her fluid into his mouth . You either drink it or drown in it. Women at least have the choice as any respectable man will let her know he's close and give her the choice.
Lets face it nothing has been written about more in the last 60 years than the female orgasm and everything has leaned towards how to achieve it , putting all the pressure on men to get her over the line . What extra effort does the woman have to go to to get him over the line ? If you are a woman and having trouble getting your man to get you there, maybe you should tell him instead of faking , or expecting him to be a mind reader. Where's the information for women on how to properly make love to their man ?
I've always strived to make sure my partner is having orgasms and not feeling neglected in that way. Sadly, my wife of 25 years cut our sex to the bare minimum within a year of getting married. Traumatic abuse from her father during teen years turned her into a covert narcissist. Low self esteem and compulsive body image issues crippled our sex life. There's nothing wrong with her body. She always blamed it on me somehow.
Like a fool, I held on and kept hoping she would come around. Never happened. Three children... it took me 25 years to figure it all out. She couldn't, and it drove me to be very resentful and angry.
Wow that’s very intense. Hope all is well and you are both healing from it.
BTDT. Took a long time to heal from her abusive behavior.
@@Rockingruvin I think you should get out. It won't change and you deserve happiness. Regards.
Used to give her O's every time. Fourteen years ago they stopped cuz she can't do anything anymore. Menopause and arthritis took over 😢 Now I'm the only one having O's cuz I look after that myself. No participation from her at all. She doesn't do anything with me at all. Now, if she were to decide to want it, I probably won't know how to anymore 😭 The love is still there, the lust has left the building.
If you don't use it, you lose it.
Thanks Dr. Gronski for posting and thanks for bringing on Dr. Mintz. Great information. Sadly, I think most of our society is too uptight and nervous to discuss very important sexual topics that you cover in your videos. Really appreciate your work.
😩Why a Woman Should be Celibate:
Since being homosexual has become a norm in this century, women should be wary in choosing a sexual partner in life, especially if they wish to be saved from great perils. It is this pending danger that could completely erase sanity from a woman because if she accidentally gets into a romantic relationship with a man who has a male lover, then her life would be a living hell, as that man would try to humiliate and torture her if she even indirectly seduces or tries to speak with the young male lover of her husband or boyfriend. Men who publicly declare themselves to be homosexual are generally soft-hearted and harmless, and do little to hurt or vex womankind, but the most vindictive and fierce stalkers of young men are those male characters who pretend to be violently straight and always remain in fulltime relationship with women in order to exude a macho force about their persona, but inside their heart, they are bitterly in love with a young man or young men in general, and would be prepared to destroy the world to secure the romantic affection or approval of a young man of their liking.
For women, the advice in this century is simple. If you must marry, marry an openly homosexual men because they are generally kind and sweet, and almost effeminate in their mercy, so if you have to marry, then marry those official homosexual men and you will be far safer. Openly gay men are angelic in their sweetness, as many of my close associates are homosexual in public, but women must be very watchful around openly straight men who act very tough and proud and become offended with the slightest suggestion of homosexuality, when in reality, they are dying in love with a young male and is prepared to annihilate the womenkind to ensure the young lover of his remains single.
For thousands of years, or at least, for centuries, homosexuality had existed in the world, but never had it been so socially prevalent and accepted as a way of life, and while sexuality is an individual’s choice, the real problem occurs when women get trapped into a relationship with a man they believe to be straight, but in reality, he is woefully attracted to men, but is only pretending to love her. Those brave and arrogant men who love other men sexually had not always been homosexual, but they had faced horrifying torment from a young age, and became broken emotionally, and when a young man behaved decent with them, they became overly emotional and decided to pursue the man and inadvertently fell in love, and their suffering caused them to become totally dependent on the young man and become the enemy of all women who could potentially take away his lover from him.
Had that suffering turned their hearts away from humans and towards God, then indeed they would have become the greatest saints, the prophets and angels of God. But their suffering made them weak. Their suffering made them broken hearted and their suffering made them hopeless and their suffering made them heartless and selfish, and their suffering made them lose trust in every single human being in the world, and their suffering made them so sensitive that they ended up hating women and children and ended up stalking and worshiping a young weak man hopelessly for the next 25 years until they died, and in the meanwhile, they tortured unimaginably every single woman who came near him, because they thought that woman was hired and she was evil and she came to destroy him or hurt him or his weak male lover or seduce the youth away from him.
This reminds me of a man of my acquaintance. He was the most soft-hearted, brilliant, intelligent, and caring men I have ever come across. He has prematurely grown old because of all the pain and suffering that he faced in his life.
The story of his life is not even thinkable, even for the worst nightmare.
The man was of Russian origin, but did not look Russian at all. His facial features looked extremely German. He might have had mixed blood in his ancestry, but nonetheless his father was a very high-ranking official of the Russian Soviet Union. He had an older brother, who was in the army fighting for Russia in Afghanistan.
He was the younger brother and the favourite of the family, soft-hearted, handsome and womaniser, and he courted the most beautiful Russian girls near his house, and fell madly in love with a young woman.
As usual, when a second born son, who is handsome and soft-hearted, fall in love with a woman, almost immediately, a man who is extremely depressed and a crazy stalker falls in love with him and destroys his life for the next 20 to 30 years, as we had established in the earlier chapters.
This older stalker man immediately framed the young beautiful girl for the murder of her father. Her husband’s stalker came and stabbed and killed her father, most brutally, and framed her for the murder.
"Women's Anatomy of Arousal" By Sheri Winston is a fantastic book and Easy read. Turns out I was actually doing a lot of things right, but this was the icing on the cake so to speak.
I'm 50 yrs old, I know now what I knew then at 18 luckily, I always make sure the female orgasms before me, I personally get off on that, I get them out of their discomfort zone and share a mutual experience, I have ex partners that all say they miss me sexually because I put their needs first, I adapt to the different psychologies of my ex partners and have had very different experiences but the fundamental rule is making them feel secure about their body regardless, insecurity in women is statistically high and when you can push past that you can have an amazing time, this video talks about the biological arousal a lot but forgets the psychological barriers that can make sex mundane, frightening or even scary.
My current partner does not like fingers inside but love oral on her, she gets about 4 or 5 before I have mine, the biggest lesson I can give is learn each other and break the insecurity barriers if they exist and always make them feel good about their bodies.
Is it safe to give oral sex without the risk of STIs?
I wish all this information was available when I was a young man. Thanks Bill (age 87)
Great Video Drs. Keep up the great work. I’ve have learned so much from your videos in the last year. It’s awesome. I wish men would get rid of the stereotypes about men needing to be Big hard fast all the time. Or about using toys. Men need to listen and thro that stereotype out the window. Cheers Dr.
Is that right
Being a 65 year old guy that has had a fair number of partners, I can state, unequivocally, that I know far more about women's sexual anatomy than they do. Too many women treat their vulva as "that thing down there". I've been shocked how many women thought they urinated out of their vagina or that they were surprised to learn that every vagina/vulva feels and looks different. During my teen years I was clueless as to where things were or how they worked (and probably too self absorbed to care) but as I gained some experience I did my best to learn what made each woman tick and was never afraid to ask what they liked or suggest new things that might feel good. This video should be entitled "what everyone needs to know about how to pleasure your partner". Women need to watch this as much or more than men.
Agreed👍 💯
I'm a also a 65 year old Man, in excellent shape and very active, in and outside of the bedroom, with tons of experience NOT just sexually, but mainly taking care of the women mentally and emotionally, and I do agree that sometimes US MEN, know their bodies much better that they do their own. They need as much educational material as we do...
Well guys I am a 67 year old woman and I know alot of men aren't interested in communicating you have to have both partners willing to be honest and communicate their needs
You have to care
Also both women and men need to know their own bodies which I do. Woman do take longer just need to take time and enjoy each others bodies
76-yo man, and I can endorse all of the above remarks. Favorite is, "take time." That can be amazing to the max!
Also, don't forget to ask what your partner likes, or to ask for what you would like.
Fred
@@joanmckinnon2368no
Constantly focusing on what women want and need is what drives American men to Asian women. Asian women are not hung up on assigning what they do and what men have to do. If they like something they will tell their partner so both people can enjoy sex. Just having a video proves my point. We have to have other people to tell us to communicate with our partners to satisfy each other sexually?
While it is never too late to learn, and learning should be a lifelong passion, where were y'all forty years ago ?? Thank you.
Thank you, Dr Laurie, for sharing your practical and realistic approach to human physiology and sexuality. I appreciate all you had to say.
The biggest challenge is female getting into the mood. It takes half an hour to an hour. If you rush it, sex hurts them. So be slow and take a book with you since it is gonna take a while.
You are really good at what you are saying and how you are explaining this. You are very detailed and I love the info you are telling us .
As a man, I can say that men should not disengage from a sex session without ensuring their female partner getting adequate pleasure and orgasm.
just talk normal
"shoulds" argue with reality
You have a long way to go dude....sometimes it's best to leave well enough alone. (Like your intent though).
Pleasure - yes. But frankly, you shouldn't even begin if there's no pleasure.
Orgasm is another thing entirely. That is also very much in her mind, not just a physical thing.
Going by my current gf, she takes between orgasm from mostly looks and a light touch to nothing gets her entirely there even if we take an hour.
The difference is whether or not she has something else on her mind. That is not for me to fix.
Yeah nice theory, but there are A LOT of women who can''t even get themselves to O because they can't relax, how high do you think your chances are to make it happen? Zero. This "O-Gap" is the same BS as the wage gap. An injustice made out of choices women make and need to solve themselves.
Really articulate guest. Well meaning men still often miss their newfound goal. They need their partner to be vocal about what helps get the wave going. Once that happens, that wave will get you where you want to go. Mostly, going slow and being verbal helps the kick start
My wife always asks me to help her out to come.and of course why I say no. It feels so good for me and it’s sexy watching her!
Regarding the man’s size: You’re downplaying how much women care. They don’t care as long as the man is large enough, but they will definitely not be satisfied with a partner that does not meet their size needs.
The only reason shit doesn't work is because of the hookup culture prevalent in society today. If people hookedup less, they'd choose their partners more selectively, the relationship would be more meaningful, and there would be a genuin desire to provide pleasure to your partner because of that healthy relationship. Instead everyone on tinder looking for a one night stand.
💯 I noticed this 20+ years ago with nightclubs at weekends.
I think, once you bring toys into the act, natural methods of stimulation start to feel less powerful and underwhelming. And couples will use less of their bodies and go directly for toys. I say what people need to properly learn is to use their bodies effectively. If one knows that, toys are unnecessary. Just my opinion.
Pete :”)
Thanks ladies! I've been married for 20 years. Prior to being married I'd never had sex before. Rather than fall into a category of being 'inexperienced' in sexual intimacy, my wife and I went on a journey of sexual exploration together, with one another. I can categorically say that out of all the relationships of my mates and circle of friends, my wife and I are consistently orgasming regularly. Sadly, I'm not hearing this from younger couples these days, who've had multiple sexual experiences. Being experienced in something doesn't always mean you've got it right.
well done
You're a legend 🙌 👏 ❤️
Role model!
I literally last way too long
I'm
I know, a lot of women really enjoy their toys/vibrators. But one important thing that is usually dismissed or not even discussed is the desensitization that can often happen for women after using them. I know, at least from my experience when I was married, after my wife starting using one (she bought when I was out of town for a couple weeks) it became much more difficult for her to orgasm without it. Before that it was fairly easy and common for her to have at least two (or more) orgasms during sex and after she started using her vibrator that became noticeably more difficult.. So, of course, then she wanted to use it during sex too.
At first using toys during sex was a little new and exciting, but after the first couple times it was more distracting than anything for me. It was also (more than a little) annoying/frustrating to me that I felt like I was not enough anymore. - I'm personally not a fan of using vibrators(etc.) during sex, or other times either if they cause desensitization.
It’s weird that at 11:35 the discussion basically devolves into an argument that every relationship needs a vibrator and justification for this. People have been having intimate relations for much longer than these toys have existed. Too bad lol…
Great video.. it's NOT a competition with the toys fellas.. more like a teammate.
I haven't watched the entire video yet but, don't forget about simultaneous clitoral and G-spot stimulation for orgasm. It works every time with spouse. It is so much fun getting her off first. Sometimes as many as 7 times..
Vibrators are not a save all in terms of orgasms. My partner of 28 years is not a clitoral orgasm at all. Vibrator, tongue, whatever stimulation quickly goes from pleasure to too sensitive and wants it left alone. G spot or G spot mixed with clitoral stimulation is her ticket. Over the years I’ve pushed to explore the ways to induce clitoral orgasm with her but quite quickly she’s at “too sensitive leave it alone”. Penis or fingers hitting the G spot oh yeah she’s squirting and intensely orgasming. At this point when it’s time for her to “get hers” it’s always G spot. Everyone is different I guess. What’s odd is for me when I’m “too sensitive” it’s after ejaculation. She goes from pleasure to too sensitive without any real climax indicative of orgasm. G spot baby that’s her ticket
Very cool...I am originally from Germany and sex education is early on, however it's always great to know more... Thanks for sharing ❤🎉
i will just point out that it's not always as easy as it seems even if you have full understanding of where all the erogenous zones are.
also kinda missed a big one, the G-spot.
it's not exactly like scratching a lottery ticket and it will pay off, there is escalation and variation and rythm and speed and different type of force application depending on the person and spot on it and arousal state.
and most of the time it's very dependent from one person to the next, but typically there are some commonalities between person to person but it's not an exact science.
however there is a very interesting fact about orgasm and that is you don't have to be in the mood to be able to get one, not for men or for women, sure it makes it easier and more pleasurable but you can get an orgasm against your own will because it reacts to the right kind of stimuli wether you like it or not as it's a purely physical reaction to it.
and then there's also the performance anxiety part of all this where a man can be too eager to try and please a woman that will have the opposite effect mood wise for a woman.
but we should not forget that it's a two way street, women will also sometimes go too quickly or not communicate her wants for foreplay or also lack the understanding of how to get an orgasm herself so they forego a lot of pleasure just wanting to satiate their partner instead of trying to reach climax herself.
so it's not just "play with her vagina and make woman happy" it's a very complicated subject on many levels.
but anyways as a man do not stake your entire ego behind it that she must have an orgasm, the thing you should be more concerned about is that she had a good time and from there things will be a lot better overall because it removes a lot of pressure from her feeling forced to get an orgasm and she can be more at ease and that will make it easier for her to get into the mood and still be pleasurable even if an orgasm doesn't happen.
As a carpenter, we do get addicted to powertools
"She Comes First" by Ian Kerner was a life-changer for me. Great topic! Glad there's shows like this online! Great work!
He owns her is the only thing u need to know
My motto, 100%!!!
what he said didn't work
Amazing interesting video, so quick serious question, if only 4-15% of women have an orgasm from penetration (thrusting), then why society, social media, etc. Put big penises and if men doesn't have a big penis is not good enough, etc, etc like if it is a deal breaker?? Crazy right? I personally believe that this kind of videos is good to make them viral so this type of women gets educated 👌👍
Only 4% reliably orgasm from penetration? Makes evolutionary sense. Unfortunately, female pleasure is much less necessary for reproduction, so female anatomy did not develop in a way to maintain or foster their pleasure levels equal to males.
That said, I'm more than happy to get up close and personal with it.
Apparently the clitorus used to be closer to the enterance of the vagina. So women used to orgasm way more in primitive times. The sound would attract more males who would then mate with her too. The tip of the penis is actually shovel shaped not only to penetrate but to scoops the previous sperm out to increase his chances of the offspring to be his. Women were made to be promiscuous in sex and it act meant having multiple mates ensured that her baby had more protection because none of the men knew if the baby was his or not so it actually lessened the chances of him killing the child. This is also why native Americans follow the mothers line in family tracing rather than the mens because you always knew who the mother was but it was not guaranteed that the male line was totally for sure. This is why often men raised their sisters children as his own because then he definitely knew they were related to him through his sister. I think marriage must have changed womens pleasure, because I doubt men wanted a loud wife during sex in the village. So they may have preferred women being more quiet and probably thought womens pleasure made them less loyal in marriage if they went away to hunt or do business away from home.
I disagree with only one statement...
Carpenters DO get addicted to power tools! 😊
Learned something new. I prefer to give her pleasure than me receiving it. Thanks.
My husband says the same thing but i don’t quite buy it. I also like to see him excited and satisfied myself. I don’t think it would be fair as a regular thing. I think he’d get resentful.
So guys.. you need to do all the work in a relationship to make it work.
Pretty much 😂
Not new news lol
😂that's a summary of almost 99% of the "relationship coaching" social media my wife shares with me. As a guy, I've always been interested in doing well with sex. There is almost no relationship coaching content that teaches women to be respectful and accountable for her behaviors or words, or to put equal effort into his feelings, desires and needs in the relationship. Does anyone really talk about sexual equality in terms of, if he provides her multiple orgasms during a single session, though he's normally not capable of that... for equality, she should give him orgasms over multiple sessions? I've never heard of that. Just a "pleasure gap" as measured by women's pleasure only.
ALL THE WORK? While you just lay around? Hell no!
I feel pretty good about myself as a guy because I already figured out and know all of this information. Of course it took several decades to learn. I wish I knew it 35 years ago - it would have changed my thinking and experiences back then when I felt unsure and therefore often had “performance anxiety”
Make that I wish I HAD known that 35 years ago. I wish I knew is present tense like in: I don't know what you are thinking. I wish I knew. Your sentence relates to the past, so you have to use the past perfect.
Long and thin too far in, short and thick does the trick. I love Laurie's ear ornaments, XX
As any magician will tell you, "It's not the size of your wand that counts, it's the magic that's in it!
Love, David
It is so amazing to give your spouse an orgasm. I know I will have one. I have been with women whom were so embarrassed by their own sexuality and feelings that they knew nothing about their anatomy and felt shame to have an orgasm etc.
Thanks doc for making me get rid of the baggage I was carrying for almost forty odd years. I wish if I would have known this before but thanks it’s still not late 😜
What's wrong with guys that the orgasm gap is even a thing!? Sex is a two way street and if the guy isn't taking care of you, ladies. why bother with him?
Thank you for this video, ladies!
I wish sexual education was drastically more prevalent than it is. The orgasm gap is such BS and I sympathize with women. I have to say that the pressure to perform for men is ASTRONOMICAL, and we're left to our own devices (literally and figuratively) to figure it out. In my experience, 1/10 women will actually speak up/coach you. Unfortunately, that's usually because they're anxious or may not even know themselves, so it's very understandable.
Married 44 yrs, do yourself a HUGE favour and get a vibrator or 2. Nothing big, kinky or weird. Just a waterproof one, quietest available. And some Astroglide lube. Best thing you can do for her. 👍🔥🔥💕
Apologizing for biology and the fact that women expect you to read their minds. Mind blowing.
Yeah, we have tons of sex Ed, which is useless without the 'How to get TO sex' Ed lol.
Sex is easy, I'd just like more instruction on how to get there first lol.
I hate sex
In my experience 1 in 100.
This makes sense, and it would be hard for it not to work. Did you check out Merle Winestol's ideas as well? He reveals a set of crazy techniques that can make any woman have the most pleasurable experience of their lives. Be careful before go’ogling him, just don't try it if you don't think you could keep up with her lol.
Very nicely done video and well appreciated by us guys. I think Dr. Laurie should start her own media site. You know what she should call it? Clitter! I just love bad puns...
* Also a 65 year old guy 😁
Great video. She should of have also talked about the G spot.
Hi, I have just come across your presentations. I was searching about presentations of autofellatio. I am an autofellator and I wonder why so little information of this is presented by educators like yourselves and others.
🌹
شانزده ویژگی یک عاشق
۱- عنصر اصلی عشق: ایثار و شجاعت
۲- مهمترین صفت انسانی: اطمینان و اعتماد
۳- هویت مستقل ( هشت تا دوازده سالگی ) آدمهای گوشه گیر منزوی هستند
۴- آزادی و آزاده گی (پذیرش تفاوتها), چهارده تا سی و شش ماهگی مهم است
۵- مسئولیت, نه مشغولیت و نه مظلومیت
۶- امنیت
۷- آرامش
۸- مواظبت و مراقبت
۹- بخشش, دلسوزی, گذشت, فداکاری, سازگاری
۱۰- شور و شوق و هیجان, شادی
۱۱- لذت, حظ و کیف
۱۲- خوشبین, مثبت, امیدوار
۱۳- صبر
۱۴- فعال, پیشتاز, میل به رشد و کمال
۱۵- خود دوستی که منجر به دگر دوستی می گردد
۱۶- میل به دانستن و خود آگاهی برای رشد
🌹
15:36 Men don't know this? It's not taught or dealt with in movies??? I don't know which stone that woman has been under for the last five decades but the information that women usually don't come through vaginal penetration alone has been distributed in thousands of sex education classes, articles and books. Dr. Ruth Westheimer mentioned this in her programs 40 years ago.
What you both talk about ,is very true , ,take your time ,and if you find your self ,at a romance place ❤️,let mother nature take it place , ❣️ more your open ,with your mate , more you well understand her body, and she can be more her self ,remember take you time ,and have fun ,loving her ,for her, and her love for you, well always be true to you , ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
The kind of knowledge which should have been taught in our school days ❤️
No
Not in my house, wife has 4-5 O's to my one in any session we have.
@@p165711 do you use toys?
Do you use toys?
More women need to know male ejaculation and male orgasm are not the same thing, and sometimes don't happen concurrently.
Just because he shoots doesn't mean you hit the target.
If you remember nothing else, keep that in mind.
?!?!? Wha???
He’s saying that just because a man cums doesn’t mean it was that good
Nah man they selfish
@@catherinewilson1079ejaculation doesn't mean orgasm...you can even google it...a man can ejaculate but just because he ejaculated doesn't mean he orgasmd which is the pleasure side of things ejaculation is just the spraying of semen
It's all about pheromones. If you're a man you want to smell like cucumber or black licorice. If you're a woman, cinnamon or pumpkin pie.
Dr. Dear, the basic of all misunderstanding is that couples do not exchange wishes and hopes.....
I so appreciate you both for sharing these Truths about intimacy. I have behaved the way you explained it since I was a teenager because of the old premature E. I always knew that I was right, but always felt wrong because you learn false beliefs as a young boy of what women want. Thx ladies!!
Good level one info. Clitoral orgasm just the start. I would love for you to get some experts on that actual know how to teach cervical orgasms.
Really great explanations and tips! Thx Erin 💪
11:36 That's the secret, guys. Learn how to do something she admits the human body can't do.
The carpenter example is absolutely asinine. You don't think guys would have a cordless drill nearby if they got off every time they pulled the trigger? Is that actually your position? We ALL know "getting the job done" is VERY different in those two cases, and would affect human behavior VERY differently.
What if you couldn't have fun (an orgasm) WITHOUT the raft (vibrator), as you've already stated many women can't? "Well, it was an ok day. We just sat in the water. I didn't have fun, but he did." The analogy falls apart.
15:35 "Men don't know this...." And our INDIVIDUAL PARTNERS don't tell us. Men have to read books and watch UA-cam videos because INDIVIDUAL women WON'T communicate... If you want to operate in good faith, you need to admit that men DON'T need studies, books, podcasts, or videos. We need our PARTNERS to TALK to US.
"Men become better sexual communicators." That's not the problem. Men have nothing to communicate, we're the ones achieving orgasm 94% of the time. Women need to be better communicators. YOU know what feels good...say something...to ME. The orgasm gap isn't men's fault for not knowing. It's the fault of the people not telling us.
"Men are suffering from this myth." Yes. And it's not our fault, but women have made it our responsibility for some reason.
The anatomical information is good, but the thought process here is unhealthy.
A study by Garcia, Lloyd, Wallen, and Fisher (2014) surveyed a nationally representative sample of 6,151 women and men. The study demonstrated that for women, the rate of orgasm varied by sexual orientation. The mean occurrence rate (or how often sexual encounters with other people led to orgasm) was 61.6 percent for heterosexual women, 58 percent for bisexual women, and 74.4 percent for lesbian women.
Surely because lebian women concentrate to oral sex and stimulation by their fingers. That fits to that interview.
most lesbians are not taking sex drive destroying birth control.
My wife would have multiple O's unfortunately after our son was born naturally. Multiple O's have been so rare that'd they wouldnt even skew a very small survey.
I do try to get her to wait, it's because once she has one then I feel a certian amount of pressure to get mine so to speak. At that point I get into my brain because we are getting older and I don't want to beat up our bodies because we both will be sore as heck the following few days.
Could you tell me if a women has an anal orgasm is she then ready to have a O's through her vagina? I am aware of how different all the women are. Just wondering what any surveys if any have said? Thank you.
Great advice in video. The best book I read that helped me the most with women was "Attract and Succeed with Women, Essential Info for Men".
I have studied Psychology and
Philosophy.
Human Relationships,Sex and Love
play an Important Part in our Life’s.
Personality,Character,Behaviour,
Interests,Traits,Emotions,Feelings,
Etc.,play an Important Part as well.
Sexual Love,is both Physical
and Mind/Cognition.
It is when Mind and Body join
together,you will have the
Most Pleasurable Experience
between a Man and Woman.
I have had experience.I have
satisfied Women,and they
have satisfied me.
We have five senses.
Let your Inner-Self guide
you through your Life.
Be Happy and Enjoy Life.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️.
the clitoris ( from what I have been able to spot in the medical literature (as opposed to this psychologist) has twice as many nerve receptors - curious - the clitoris has no other function than for pleasure. Respectfully, you missed what is quite an important consideration - the actual extent and shape of the clitoris has only been known for maybe 25 years (thanks to an Australian researcher “Urologist Dr Helen O’Connell of the Royal Melbourne Hospital - in 1998 now Professor Helen O'Connell) later in 2009, French researchers Dr. Odile Buisson and Dr. Pierre Foldès gave the medical world it’s first complete 3-D sonography of the stimulated clitori. On a personal note - I find your reference to orgasm gap as a little demeaning - as if its all part of the political struggle of the post modernist feminist. - It detracts more from your message (assuming, in part, that you are trying to educate males) it has the pretense of claiming victim status.
The puppets need to be updated to include the crura and vestibular bulbs on the back side. Every participant needs to be aware that the clitoris is more than the little nub at the top of the lips.
This is a nice info. With some truths. But the issue is.... 'SOME Truths'.
I'm yet to find a video that addresses the TRUE and FULL nature of Women where Sex and Orgams for Women are concerned.
Something I've realised with most 'Sex Experts'...Is that Alot of the advice is geared towards trying to send messages like size doesn't matter, and others like being a 'Great sensitive Guy' is what's important.. etc etc.
And honestly... That is VERY misleading information as it is not the WHOLE Truth.
I've been with Too many women where I've seen the difference size causes. In addition to Recognizing that Myself.,. Alot of them have ADMITTED to Me... that IT MATTERS! Most of them actually!
Psychologically, some women are more turned on and aroused by men of a particular nature... Which sometimes is not always the 'Sweet Nice guy Type'.
Some women who have had More passive sensitive partners, expressed that those partners were Great! But at the same time... They said they had a more preference towards the more dominant aggressive type Man. They expressed that being with a Man like that made them feel in their Feminine place which when transfered to the bedroom... Assisted with the sexual experience leading to more fulfilling sex including Orgasms.
Women share alot when you are just talking with them one on one,. Especially after sex... When they just open up.
A Size Example:
I had Sex with someone whose EX Aparently was not as endowed as i am. Her reciprocation and excitement level was of someone who was experiencing pleasure from Sex for the first time.
During the intercourse I was somewhat shocked that within her excitement she was saying that Her Ex wasn't this Long and she never felt a Penis this far up inside her before etc. In heated excitement. I was surprised she would say something like that out loud. I didn't judge her... We all say all sorts of raw truths in our most heated moments under excitement.
But whatever My Size did for her... Caused her to have an Orgasm... For the First Time... Through penetration.
She said she only experienced orgasm with Her Ex, through using vibrators or receiving Oral from him... But the feeling she got from feeling her entire vaginal passage being under that level of pleasure.... Was alot for her and it caused her to orgasm through Penetration for the first time.
That experience had nothing to do with Me focusing on her outter areas where all the nerve endings were etc. What she needed was a larger longer Penis applying stimulation and pressure to deeper regions of her insides that her lesser sized Ex could not achieve!.that's all.
And THAT extra caused her to finally have a heavy vaginal orgasm through Penetration!
And as long as their are women like this... Then ...SIZE MATTERS!
And Obviously there would be millions of other women like her!
A Psychological Example:
This was with My co-worker.... A very cool calm and collected guy. Gentleman type. He shared with Me that He was never able to bring his Partner to orgasm. This was his wife, who he was with for years. They were not the type to Be into toys etc.. That's not their thing.
He and his partner's relationship came to an end for whatever reason. I don't know how this conversation would have risen between him and his now Ex.,. But she shared with him that Her new relationship was fine. She told him though that the guy wasn't as eloquent and romantic as He was..and he was more in the 'brash more rough type Character... Generally speaking. Apparently his nature was just opposite to the docile type.
Apparently...(however the topic came up in that convo between them)... She shared with him that She experienced orgasm for the first time... With that other guy. And She went as far as discuss g with him what brought her to that point.
Now..With my work colleague... He told me that he was always the more loving, gentle type and sensitive to her requests about what she liked and didn't like in the bedroom. If she said she don't want this position... He would always say ok, if he's being a bit rough or aggressive he would stop because she requested and listen to her and be gentle. That type of guy.
This other guy apparently was NOT that type of Guy. If She would have expressed some sort of discomfort or odd 'feeling'... When she told him to stop or ease up a bit... He didn't!
He took charge...He maintained his authoritative dominant behaviour within that moment, maintained doing whatever he was doing. And that feeling that she thought was discomfort... That odd feeling... Was the precursor feeling to her Experiencing a heavy orgasm for the first time in her life.
Listening to him tell Me that... I understood what he did not know as an adult man about understanding some women.
It wasn't that she was unconformable. Her new partner's dominant behaviour... The fact that he was unconcerned about every little request and issue she had during the sex... That hard core carnal Intrusion is what caused her to be Over-taken by that surrender which brought Her to orgasm.
She didn't even know that was what was necessary for Her.
My 'Nice Guy' co-worker's Character would have stopped when she asked him too. Because his belief is that it's always about 'Co-operation and Understanding in the bedroom'. No it's not.
It sometimes take a 'Raging bull' behaviour beyond what the partner says they are ok with or can handle....to be able to cause that very same partner that was once complaining.. to realise that's what they needed to experience another level.
These are the things that should also be included in these 'Sex Experts' talks.
Not this "Size doesn't matter" narrative when it very Well matters to Millions of women... And certain sizes is what it takes to stimulate them fully into orgasm.
And not the "Nice guy" narrative when some women are attracted to the rough type nature which psychologically stimulates them and adds that extra needed edge to bring them to their climatic point.
Yall have to acknowledge you're dealing with millions of women who have a wide Range of aspects that causes pleasure and bring them to orgasm. It is both Physiolocal and Psychological.
The thing with surveys... Especially with a topic as this... Is that persons Tend to want to sound neutral and professional in their responses. So their raw carnal truths may not always be expressed.
When a man who is well endowed is communicating one on one with a Woman....All of a sudden They are very honest with that guy about why Penis sizes matters and how they rather a Quite respectable Sized one, Versus an small or Average sized one. Because I've gotten that talk countless of times.
And about the type of Man that they are inclined to.
This video and others like it usually has alot of scientific truth to their message. The Anatomy and Physiology of the female sexual parts are very true and on point. I cannot take away from those facts. As I said... The video has alot of facts.
But alot of times these types of videos never addresses and admits the other side of the coin.
Alot of what some of these experts claim is not very important... IS very much important to a large size of the population. And it is important enough to conclude that those aspects they claim doesn't matter.... CERTAINLY Matters.
Sincere apologies for the Essay. I just thought it necessary to be as real and as detailed as i can about this whole issue as I've always wanted to address it.
You’ve been watching too much porn and engaging in wishful thinking, cowboy. I learned a long time ago that men who really have it don’t need to brag about it or spend paragraphs justifying it.
Thanks for your indegth teaching on the function of the female anatomy. This is the most unique,profound and easiest to capture education on making a woman to attain orgasm!
OK, some of the guys really need to pick up the slack, I can't keep those stats up by myself 😁
It’s good to hear that men care about mutuality which wasn’t true in the past. The knowledge deficit has historically been on the part of men many of whom learned sex from porn or Purity Culture in church. Hence the orgasm gap which is remedied by men learning about women’s anatomy AND how her heart and mind are connected to sex-that is, if you’re doing it right.❤
I’m a virgin guy. But I’m sure as hell not against sex toys. They’re wing men of sorts. I’m 41, and Andrew … by the way. I’m not into the hookup stuff. I just want one sexual partner. The woman who I’ll marry. I don’t judge anyone who feels otherwise though.
The points are good, BUT women associate feelings with the instigator of those feelings - If it's the man who's provides the pleasure, they'll experience & associate it with him which would lead to the intensity of attachment, longing & pair-bonding between them.
A carpenter doesn't feel any emotions while using the power-tools but women do - and as any man with experience would know, women prioritise their feelings over logic more often.
So if you're unable to give a satisfactory sexual experience to your partner, she'll tend to not attribute & associate any of the strong sexual feelings towards you - which implies even though her urges would be satisfied using the s*x toys but that spark or intensity in your encounters would still be lacking.
For men - it's important to be in shape, train their Kegel muscles, try & improve their time to ejaculation AND use the knowledge in the video to pleasure her using the hands & mouth better - instead of believing that toys would save & nourish your sex life.
Doctors, I did new information, here, and I do feel a bit less pressure to perform, now that I have confirmation from you the other efforts I make are some of the correct practices. I have always wanted to please my lady more than be pleased. I'll read the books and view more of your videos. Many thanks!🙂
Well, Spinoza basically said that better understanding of the causes of things makes us more powerful, as it increases our abillities of influencing the world and being influenced by it in turn. This is how he defines "freedom", too. Thank you, ladies, for making us all more powerful and free!
The orgasm gap… orgasm equality… it’s impossible. My girl loses count at 9 or 10, and I’m lucky to have one at my age!!! 60+
The day I understood that enjoying physical non sexual pleasure with my spouse was by far superior and long lasting then sexual pleasure it opened the door to endless adventures that we would have not discovered if we had stayed at the very limiting physical sex dimension. Nothing wrong with physical sexual pleasure but it is far from being necessary in a relationship specially for very long enjoyable relationship involving children and grand-children.
Really great info. In the female anatomy, You didn’t point out where the urinary trac fits in there. Just Thot u wud have included everything
The causes for the “orgasm gap” is because one orgasm is species dependent, one is not.
IDK, as soon as I saw preferred pronouns next to your name, and then reference to women as “partner with a clitoris” I can’t take you seriously. I watched long enough to form the opinion that you are smart and good looking though-for what it’s worth. Good luck
What a relief! Thanks for this valuable and informative video and for providing men with assurance, guidance, comfort, safe space and encouragement ❤ These issues have caused me a lot of anxiety and made me sometimes hate who i am as a man but i'm still trying to find my peace and be comfortable in the body god gave me.
Sex is mainly in the brain!
I used to be a beautiful young man, and I’m generally charismatic.
Because of these traits I have been able to have intercourse with lots of women. I’ve had 4 long term girlfriends and
I’ve been married twice.
Here’s what I know.
As far as YOU as a man is concerned, you only need a few things.
1- an average sized penis is usually enough.
2- time!! You can’t be a two pump chump, ( don’t worry, I have been a few times before)
3- a willingness to pay attention to what she wants and do what pleases her.
-
After you do those things the REST IS UP TO THE WOMAN!!!
All of this expectation is put upon men to “be good in bed” for the sake of the women.
And it IS true that you should be there for her and try to please her, But……
A lot of times women fail to take responsibility for their own “orgasm gap”, they need to know what they like, they need to show up to the bedroom, ( or wherever), ready and willing and in the right mindset.
A woman has some responsibility in the bedroom too!!!
In all…men aren’t responsible for the whole show!!!!
Pax Vobiscum.
❤❤
,
Excellent info. Wish this was available years ago. We never had sex ed in school (guess I'm dating myself). Dr. Gronski, would it be possible to do a video on the detrimental effects of porn on meaningful male/female relationships? I'm sure it would be helpful for both sexes.
We had sex only two days a week, because we needed the car for drivers education the other three days a week..
This actually was available years ago. Books who deal with these subjects have been published for more than 50 years now. Seek and you shall find. Also your sentence should read: I wish this HAD been available. I wish this was available is present tense like in: It's not available right now. I wish it was. Your sentence relates to the past, so you have to use the past perfect.
Dr Laurie would it have any site effects with sucking virgina juice. Reading from Papua New Guinea 🇵🇬.
Why are there not any videos to explain how a woman can ultimately please a man? Are all females already experts in male sexual pleasure? Spoiler: no, they are not.
Wow, such passive misarndry..
That massively oversized toy isn't helping our confidence levels.
Fwiw, I’ve found a model of the entire internal structure of the clitoris more enlightening than any external only description. Cheers.
So to all you dudes that lost your woman to another man and made fun of you for being too small, it was you and not your size lol. These phycology shows are funny.
I love it great 👍 show lady ingrate for having Dr. D
The vulva puppet is a very clever educational prop. However, if Dr. Laurie has kids I hope she keeps it locked up. That would create quite a stir at school for show and tell.😊
Was going to ask where we can get one of those stylish, hooded hats. The doctor was holding up. But, seriously, this information was quite accurate and well presented.
Well done! Most often get a bit annoyed after a few minutes with videos like this when it’s someone either a comedian or porn star presenting the information.
As a penis owner have found it’s super helpful being empathic. Psychology plays a huge role especially for women. One other misconception to Point out is some studies related to orgasm percentages based men’s orgasm on ejaculation. Personally, and I’ve heard this from others aswell not all men have an orgasm when they ejaculate.
Maybe I lean a bit more towards what gives women the most pleasure, as I recall all the way back to high school have found oral sex to be more pleasurable for me than vaginal. And I’m a guy.
Having the understanding of the anatomy is excellent, but also remembering communication is so important. Not everyone enjoys exactly the same way, and there’s no shame in communicating with your partner verbally and otherwise, while enjoying quality time.
If you are on a camping trip, or you have used up your battery life... you can also HUM over and around the "Female Parts" for vibration... especially if you have a bass or baritone voice... maybe a favorite song, or a song with both high notes and low notes -- kind of depending on your own vocal range... and I suppose the male would enjoy a nice "Star-Spangled Banner" or "Stairway to Heaven" also... I just did not have a wife that cared... (sad)
She just assumed I would be satisfied whenever SHE was 'finished'...
My wife used to love tongue clitoral stimulation and even reached orgasm, but now she says it doesn’t feel the same for her and doesn’t like it as much. Is this common and what can be done?
Try a vibrator
What a wonderful, accurate video! I’ve been married to the same lovely lady for forty years and our sex life has been an evolving journey . Having children , growing older offers physical challenges, but even when we were younger, in great shape , able to make love for long periods and frequently, the question of orgasm was more complicated. State of mind , stress , etc enters the ability to reach orgasm , mostly , but not exclusively for my wife . Openness, patience and understanding go a long way in love making . We still make love two or three times a week , sessions don’t last as long , and there are aches and pains afterwards 🙄😂 . Good luck to. All ❤
What a wonderful insight to yet another thing women want and need without actually being anything but a dead fish in the bedroom.