AITA for being loaded?
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- Опубліковано 3 жов 2024
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I (25f) don't like money talk, I keep it private because growing up I've seen the things people will do for money. I've seen it destroy my brothers. My parents died when I was little and I was taken in by my grandparents who raised me. It was a very privileged upbringing, but they also raised me to be frugal and grateful for what I have. I'm incredibly grateful for what I have, I don't show off or anything. I don't care for labels, most my clothes are thrifted. My husband (33m) and I live well within our means.
The problem is, our friend group has just found out that I'm rich and they're mad. We had friends over for dinner and the wife of my husband's best friend went into our office to take a private work call. We've let friends take private calls in there before with no issue. She scooped while in there and found documentation about my trust fund, my investments, etc. When she came out, she was mad and I thought it was just because of the call so I left her alone and continued cooking. She started telling everyone that I was actually rich, showing them one of the documents she had taken from the office. My husband took it off her and told her it was none of her business. At dinner she kept going on about me masquerading as poor because I thrift, have a cheap old car, travel in economy and don't offer to cover the bill when we go out.
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Our other friends agreed and we pissed because had never said I have money, never offered money when one of them was struggling. We ended up cutting dinner short and asking everyone to leave.
Since I've had messages from them (mostly the women) being angry that I never told them I have money. I've even had a couple requests for money. One has already asked for 50k to cover their student loans because I had my college paid for - I had scholarships that covered everything. My husband has told me just to ignore them and that it's none of their business. His best friend has called and apologised for all this as his wife shouldn't have been snooping. I've been very much frozen out from the group, I've been told I won't be invited to anything until I pay my equal share and by equal share they mean I pay for everything.
AITA for not telling my friends I'm rich?
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Wow those are bad friends
THEY WANTED FIFTY THOUSAND FUCKING DOLLARS DAYS AFTER???
LIKE I SWEAR TO GOD, PEOPLE CARE MORE ABOUT MONEY THAN THE DO PEOPLE. THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE
Get new friends
Leave them ,don't allow them in your life ,they are greedy Idiots
That is not her or anyone's business she is so evil for snooping around and u don't owe them anything
Ikr and why would she be snooping anyway?!?
And not just snooping, but Took Documents! I think I’d cut ties after that.
I watched your video it was really good! I would suggest a ring light or natural lighting to give better lighting! But I liked your video and subscribed and make sure to set your videos for not kids bc you can’t turn on notifications or comment if you have that on! But I’m excited to watch your channel grow!
It's so sad to see none of her friends were really her friends
Exactly like who the hell goes into someone ELSE'S office and starts searching through THEIR things?!
WTF she did not randomly come across those documents. Those are some very bad friends
So she illegally looked at private documents sue her
Plus she disclosed confidential information that was on the documents
Sue her and get what? You need to prove some type of damages to get money from a lawsuit.
@@hamberger837this post, the texts of her friends ig could be used as evidence of damage
Nah sue her to ruin her reputation
@@hamberger837i suppose slander because of the friend telling everybody and accusing them of faking being poor?
NTA, what kind of garbage excuse for a "friend" goes snooping like that? It was none of their business!
Fr
I might have snooped, but I for DAMN SURE Wouldn’t have said ANYTHING about it.
@@Fiery154That doesn’t make anything better, why would you snoop?
It wasn't a friend, it was the wife of a friend, so there's no respect there.
If I stumble upon said document of their finances and saw it then I would've kept my mouth shut, but knowing that i would be more humble to them because they were being like these kinds of friends instead of being rich jerks
you know how people stay rich?
by not spending their money
That's exactly what my dad said. He bought a million dollar house and gives us a budget of 200 dollars for birthday and holidays each. I get 88 dollars a month in allowance. Our monthly grocery spending amounts to 500 usd. All of this because he doesn't spend money on useless things. He sets a budget and often avoids telling people how much money we have. We're very frugal and don't give money to people. I was told never to give my allowance to people.
Then what's the point of being rich? I'm not saying they have to be over the top, but damn. At least contribute to the economy or give someone a job.
@@arcious60Well, the hearse doesn't stop at the bank and a shroud has no pockets.
Exactly! This reminds me a lot of my sister and her partner. They live paycheck to paycheck because although we let them live with us when they were just starting out, so they could go to college and plan for a good future, they decided to make very poor financial decisions like dropping out of college, eating out almost every night, buying brand new cars, spending a lot of money on a wedding, traveling, getting pets, and buying useless things like headboards. Meanwhile, we made good financial decisions like both of us going to and graduating from college, saving our money by only ever owning one old car, never going out on the town and rarely eating out (we saved a ton of money by not eating any takeout for over a year), and taking fewer vacations, got hitched and didn’t spend any money on a traditional wedding, only adopted a rescue puppy after a decade of no pets, and we’ve never owned a headboard in our entire lives. But now that my sister knows we have some savings in the bank, they act like we are in so much better of a place financially, and they are entitled to ask us for money that they have zero plan of paying us back, or even offering to do any work in exchange for the thousands we’ve given them. We got to where we are by hard work, and living well within our means. I find it insulting that people who live recklessly go around acting like people who are careful with their money are unfairly lucky. We’re not lucky, we’re just smarter with the money we have. It’s our money and they shouldn’t act entitled to it.
@@arcious60*or maybe your rich because you get EIGHTY EIGHT dollars of allowance per month Jesus lord on christ*
She is evil for looking and then spreading it around and acting entitled to *your* money. The problem seems to be that your lifestyle being one of low income also attracts friends that live in the same frugal manner. But they do it because they have to, where you do it by choice. And they completely resent that they thought you were “one of them.” Now they see you as “Elite” and therefore obligated to give what you have to help them. And if you wanted to, great. But it does appear that you should be looking for new friends that don’t harbor resentment for what you have.
This is the exact situation I’m in with my sister
Their reaction is the exact reason that you hid it- if you continue with that friendship, YOU’LL become responsible for everything. Anyways, why should it even if you tell them or not? It’s none of their business
First off stop calling them friends because clearly they never were. They are users and entitled moochers and OP should be happy they are gone. True friends don't care how much money you have or demand it from you.
This post is true! They are NOT your friends because friends don'tcare how much money you have. I never borrow money unless i can live without it. I just lost someone I called friend for $180.00. I thought our friendship was worth more than that. I guess I was wrong.
Fr fr!
No. They just proved to OP why telling them was a bad idea. 😅
NTA. What your financial situation is like was none of their business to begin with. They are entitled AHs.
no ones business! charges could be pressed for the snooping...
“Snooping” isn’t a charge. The documents were probably sitting out on a desk in plane sight. You could press charging for stealing if she took the documents though. To be fair this sounds like a made up story. In general, you know if someone is wealthy based on their job and how frugal they are. It’s not hard to put together. And in all honesty, any trust fund babies I know, other people know about it. A will is a public document, or at least not hard to look up, so that never stays a secret either.
@@annad5130I doubt op would leave documents like that out in the open, she snooped
@@BearSmoothie considering it’s a private office that only business calls were ever taken in. It’s definitely reasonable to assume that she just left them on the desk or maybe needed a pen and found them in the process
@@sanicinapanic4264 Maybe your right, my dad had a private office and he would NEVER leave any documents out in the open
NTA!
Wow! The gall! She even brought one of the documents out of the office. OP's finances are none of their business.
I'm flummoxed! What type of women are these? Get rid of the ones asking for money immediately. Don't allow these people in your home ever again.
And hide your damn papers.
These are not your friends. They're users!
Get new friends!
Yeah. It's not advisable to leave such documents laying around (even if it's just her and the husband living there). I'm not wealthy, but I still put my finance related documents in a filing cabinet with a key. We don't know who has the audacity to go through our things.
Wtf no matter how loaded u are the bill should always be divided equally why the hell should u pay more
Literally like what does it matter if u have a bit more money in the bank. Uncles your freind is really struggling with money and needs you to cover their meal and pay u back later then it’s not your problem to pay for everyone else’s meals
I believe that everyone should have their own bill. There's no point in paying for something that you don't eat.
It should be established beforehand, but personally i think the wealthiest person of the friend group should brunt the majority of bills on outings, since $50 is a lot less damage to a 6 figures earner than a minimum wage worker. As a consequence, that person also gets to choose where to go most of the time, as to prevent somehow going beyond their means. Everyone partakes in the group activities, everyone should be able to partake without compromising something else more than the others.
@@echiko4932 tbh I u can't pay why go out why the hell should I pay more for tge same fun we had just becuz I earn more? U shall remember I worked harder in comparison to the person who is payed less
@@yahootheblink3351 cuz u can afford it and they can't? If u don't want to include ur friend in more fun activities just go out alone.
NTA. And Don’t lend them money. The likelihood they would pay it back is low. I lent a friend money. We had agreed she would pay me in installments. It should’ve taken her less than one year to pay me back. Took her almost two. She only paid me when I bugged her for it. Lesson learned. Only lend money if you don’t care/can afford for it to not be paid back.
Daddy used to say, don't lend out more than you can afford to lose!
cause they ain't paying it back
She should have been thrown out of your house for prowling!!
I wouldn't count her as a friend anymore. N ban her from ur house, u have every 2 live hw u feel comfortable, just because u have money doesn't mean u have show it off. She have no right 2 snoop, I'd get some hidden security cameras n microphones if I were u just in case she or other friends try n take advantage of u nw they no ur loaded.
I'd cut off all of them. Look how they're begging her for money now. That one who asked her to pay of their 50k student loan has some audacity too. They are not decent people
Their behavior is EXACTLY why it's not a good idea to flaunt your money amongst people who have less than you.
Who TF asks for 50k to pay off their loans like she's financially responsible for them?! If I find out my friend is wealthy, I say "good for you", and then continue as normal.
She's better off without them. Block the lot of them. They are now farts in the wind.
Those arent friends. Your money is your business.
How dare her snoop and have the audacity to confront you about your private information. Drop her as a friend 😤
Terrible people, not friends snoop then shun you because you are something they are not.
I would be highly pissed if someone went through my very personal information. It’s seriously nobody’s business how much money you have.
Well, that friend group sucks. Imagine being more mad at your friend for having money than your other friend for seriously violating OP’s privacy like that
That sounds scary as s*** I won't want anybody going through Finding out about my personal finances. I was screamed at that lady to put that stuff away and do not ever talk about it again.
They aren’t real friends. Dump them immediately. If her first concern was “You don’t cover the bill,” they aren’t worth having.
NTA. If theyre mad at you for not telling them about your money, are they even true friends? They wouldnt care about it if they were.
They aren't your friends if they care. Move on friends are overrated.
The way they immediately started asking for huge amounts of money shows what kind of people they are. They aren't mad Op hid her wealth, they're mad they couldn't drain her bank account.
She’s not a friend and I’m pretty sure what she did is a crime.
There is one thing doing a favour for a friend and then a friend blantantly and obvisously using you for money.
definitely NTA
1. snooping through private documents in their office while taking a call?! from the description they wouldn't be out in the open. 2. none of her business. 3. "how do you think we became wealthy?"
. . . _just read the pinned comment, they had the gall to demand you pay "your fair share"/everything for future events?! it pains me, but the one husband who apologized is the only one worth keeping in contact with _*_( not blocking)_*
She committed a crime by going through your personal mail and personal paperwork. She's upset with you for something she wasn't even supposed to be doing in the first place?!?! They really don't care about you, all they care about is the money. OP is right. The love of money is a dangerous thing, and the way her friends reacted honestly proved her point. 🤦🏿♀️😤
I too lived modestly, invested well, and didn't tell anyone. It's no one's business. The average millionaire drives a used car.
Why does she have to pay with HER money for THEIR expenses? And snooping and taking someone’s documents? She borderline crazy and jealous
NTA at all: Good lord, that's gross. I have found out friends were rich in the past, but I never treated them any differently and never asked them for money, nor would I ever want to be so arrogant as to do so- I never wanted them to ever feel like I was taking advantage of them like I know others have. Hell, I've paid for them myself just because that's just what you do as friends, you know? If they're your friends and you care about them, why the hell would that change if you found out they had money unless their friendship never really meant anything to you beyond surface-level conversation.
I really DO feel bad for OP. Sadly, it's better they found out now than later on down the road so that they could cut ties sooner rather than later and save themselves at least a bit of heartache.
(Lol, ties ACed to toes)
NTA immediately, it’s not anyone’s business to know if ur rich or not
You can either have things or have money. If you have money and buy things shortly you won't have money just things.
Rich people stay rich by acting poor! Poor people stay poor by acting rich! Dave Ramsey. .........
I would have told her she had no business snooping in my private documents. Get out of my house, IMMEDIATELY!
those friends at the end it is really like they are just out for money.
it is sad to read this and hope you find some better friends
She's mad! She went through your things AND non of her business! I cannot believe she has the gull to be mad are you out of her mind!
Those are not your friends. The only one who IS is your husbands bestfriend who apologized, please stop hanging out with those people and make new friends.
She doesn't owe any of her friends anything, simply for having money. This is exactly why no one talks about finances.
The audacity to snoop around and then act like this is disgusting
NTA your snoopy friend is TA!! She had no business going through your private papers, then telling everyone else what she discovered.
By the same token telling everyone else what she found .
That's a sign that you need a new friend group
The woman shouldn’t have snooped around in their office. She wouldn’t like if we snooped around in her office ?!
That reaction to finding out she is rich is exactly the reason why she doent divulge in the first place and why i would never let anyone know if i came into money. Greed and averis are horrible traits. These people are no friends. I have friends with money, and we have no expectations ever as its theirs.
I actually really appreciate people who have money but choose not to flaunt it, it shows they are grounded and know that material possessions don't bring happiness. OP has no obligation to live like a gaudy rich person if they don't want to
Nta. First of all she should not have been snooping around your room. That’s your private things and she has no right to be doing that. Also why is it important for them to know that you’re rich? That’s not something they should be concerned about. Just because you have a lot of money doesn’t mean you should be the one paying for everything and lending out money left and right. People stay rich by not spending money. If you are going out with friends the bill should be divided equally or by what you decided to get. The bill shouldn’t fall on you just because you’re rich. Being rich doesn’t mean that you want to pay for everything because you have money. Also it is nice to help friends out in bad situations but that doesn’t mean you need to give them a lot of money. They got themselves into that situation and they need to work their way out
True friends don't care about how much money you have. They also don't invade your privacy.
So they proved her right. She can't trust them with knowledge of her financial situation.
That sounds illegal for your "friend" to go snooping though your paperwork and whatnot
I understand helping friends, I do what I can for mine and I’m always between blessings, but do you really think they would have stopped at small change like “cover $60+tip dinner just this once” or a “small bill til my next paycheck? So my lights/water aren’t cute off” These women literally jumped to asking for covering full dine outs as OPs “fair share” and asking for OP to pay for student loans? Haha yea something tells me if they had known it would have started small then grew to an exorbitant amount and if OP declined one time or hesitated even for a millisecond they would have been at her like rabid anklebiters
Turn up at your "friend’s" doorstep, barge in and start looking through her drawers searching for *_her_* financial documents, see how she likes it! NTA. The fact that OP has been paying her fair part seems immaterial to these people; she’s right, they expect her to pay for everything. How is that fair? I’m sorry, but these people aren’t friends. Time to block them.
She’s angry you aren’t sharing the wealth with her. What an entitled brat. Unfriend her and anyone that agrees with her. No one is entitled to your trust or any money.
I could not IMAGINE snooping around in someone's house when I'm just a guest. Not only is it none of their business, its a total breach of trust. Imo that's a sign to throw the whole group out. The audacity ro ASK FOR MONEY after that too? Eff em. Not your problem that they're greedy.
That's alot of nerve I hope they cut ties with her. Along with anyone who thinks what she did was ok. Looking at someones private documents! Its noones damn business if someone's rich or not. People are so entitled.
I know this is “low effort content” but this guy actually does it right. He credits the videos and tells the full story
NTA! Girl, the way the reacted proves that you where right to not tell them.
people are awful when they find out you have money. my dad won the lottery about nine years ago - it was enough for him to pay the mortgage off, pay off any money he owed and take us on vacation. his family and friends asked for money, mine too. even random kids at school asked me for money. people were awful.
“AITA for not telling my fair weather friends that I have money so they don’t make me pay for everything?”
.
Stupid question. They’re not your friends.
Sounds like friend is only concerned about what she can get out of people
Bffr 🤦🏾♀️why wasn't sure told off and then kicked out? Anybody who had a problem with it can kick rocks too. That's just pure audacity.
They were never your friends
Her invasion of privacy was legally actionable...
It's called being Savvy and humble, being rich doesn't define you as a person. If the friends knew they would have taken advantage of her
The audacity for on of them to ask for 50k after not minding there own business. They are incredibly selfish and I understand why you didn’t tell em
There’s no way they thought they were entitled to that much money. I think there’s a reason why OP didn’t want to tell them
Of course they’re begging for money in the end
1) not her business
2) she's "rich" BECAUSE SHES FRUGAL
Nta,paying for everything isn't needed if your rich,you have the right to not tell. You did the right choice to not waste money for something.
NTA. And for any friend that doesn't praise you and moving on isn't a friend. That a " oh man , that's awesome good for you" so whats everyone doing this weekend?
That woman's parents had to pass away for her to get what she has.
And she more then enough evidence as to why she never told them. How does someone get angry at their owns friend wealth ?
OP isn’t rich, she’s WEALTHY. Big difference. NTA and honestly repercussions need to be had with the “friend” who not only snooped around private property but stole legal documents and doxxed them.
I don’t think it’s your fault cuz she didn’t even have the right to whoop around your office like that
NTA its not they're money.
It's different from pretending to be poor like celebs trying to be relatable.
Eeh... thats illegal of her to snoop around in your private documents, just saying.
NTA, it's not their business. You're not flaunting it and living below your means.
She snooped and found private documents, That's messed up. Get new friends
THATS THE REASON SHE KEPT IT PRIVATE
NTA🎉😊
Their foul entitled behavior is exactly why you didn't and shouldn't have told them anything 🎉😊
It's not their business or yours to take care of them or their bills🎉😊
The stupid shows that they are foul cuz her detailed masquerade explanation is why you have money🎉😊
NTA you dont have to disclose your financial status to anyone unless its business or legal matters. She snooped around your office which is extremely disrespectful and shows you cannot trust her. Also living frugally doesn’t automatically mean you’re living check to check, a lot of people who have money dont flash it around or waste it on designer and things
Its seemed like it was a good decision not letting them know about your financial situation. NTA. Your money. Your life. Your preferences. You dont need to be anyone's ATM.
Those are not your friends
Clearly NTA those so called "friends" clearly can't handle the truth
It's not like she has parents. They do, so until they lose their parents and have to go through that pain, don't talk to them
Sue her and ban everyone from your home
She is not , nor was she ever a true friend.
I would expect this kind of behaviour if OP would lie about her wealth and borrow money from others etc. but this doesn’t seem the case.
Sounds more like jealousy.
Any lawyers? Could this be grounds to press charges for invasion of privacy or something along those lines?
NTA. Those, I use this term in the loosest sense, ladies are not your friends more like a pack of deceitful opportunistic vultures waiting for a chance to pounce on your vulnerabilities. Especially the one who was bold enough to go through your personal belongings then have the audacity to an attitude with you because she found out something that was none of her business more importantly she never had the opportunity to exploit. These “ladies” and a few husband then perfectly acted out the need for the secret. Doesn’t this behavior just make you feel all warm and nauseous inside???
NTA. It's none of anyone's business. Thrifting is fun. Find new friends. 😂
1st Op neveR Told u she was poor 2nd, YOU DIDNT
This person who snooped is Not a friend.
Also- it's no one's business how much you have! If you were telling your friends lies, pretending to struggle financially and allowing them to financially support your lifestyle, then you would be assholes.
"Hey I snooped and found your peivatw info. Imma tell everyone because its not what I expected"
Its your money, not theirs, its not their business nor their problem
She literally goes through your private documents and is upset you kept secrets from her?
I don’t care about the video the way he transitions it’s so funny to me
Never speak to her again.
It's just sad that all her friends are entitled beggars.