6:45 to 7:42 - Korin's story (Miscarriage, fainting, frequent cardiovascular physical exercise; later diagnosed with bradycardia, which is a lower-than-typical heart rate)
The phrase 'It's all in your head' is very interesting, because they act like your head is detached from the body and thus not effected by anything in it. When in fact it is a part of your body. A very important one. Almost as if it's the control center.
It's maddeningly, for both physical issues and mental ones. Yes, my depression is all in my head, that's where the brain with all the trauma is! Yes, I'm extremely heat sensitive because I have autism, but I'm not fainting "to prove a point" I'm fainting because the heat sensitivity makes me PHYSICALLY sensitive to HEAT 😅 ffs!
Functional Neurological Disorder to a T. 'It's all in your head' (something sufferers get dismissed with a lot). I mean... yeah? That is kinda the point? It is a nervous system software issue, that doesn't mean it doesn't exist, or is any less debilitating than a hardware breakdown. If your PC hard drive breaks, it stops working. If Windows crashes, it also stops working. You need both of them.
@macgirl1234 deadass it's like saying "you're just bleeding out to prove a point, your broken arm is all in your arm, so you should still be able to walk on your legs!" Like HELLO????
For everyone suffering with health issues: it's ok to TAKE UP SPACE. You deserve to be heard and taken seriously, no one deserves shame or suffering for what your body is going through.
Jessica is so right about having multiple diagnosis’. My wife’s Dr. kept upping her diabetes meds when her numbers starting going all over the place. She kept telling the Dr. that it was not her diabetes. My wife manages it quite well with diet and her regular medications. The Dr. would not consider that it was anything but Diabetes. She was not listened to, so she went to a different doctor. The new Dr. examined her and was like “How long have you had this goiter?” News to us. She ordered a scan, then a biopsy. Biopsy showed it was thyroid cancer. She had her thyroid taken out. All is well, it was caught before it spread. If she would have not changed doctors who knows how long it would have taken for that first Dr. to realize it was cancer. If something is going on with your body, please get it checked out. ❤
I'm so glad that new doctor gave her the care she needed and deserved. If there's a system for you to lodge a complaint with her old doctor, I would highly recommend you informing them that the symptoms her doctor dismissed were due to cancer.
@@lizard3755We did send a letter of complaint to her and to the headquarters of her practice as well as leave an online review. We never heard anything back from them, but we did find out she retired a couple of years after this happened.
Yes, so glad she's got the proper treatment! Wishing both of you great health 😊 I just got diagnosed with Lyme after 10 years of going through doctors with fevers and hearing everything from "air pollution" to "bad diet".... Three weeks of antibiotics by now, and the last week is the best I've had outside of summers my whole adulthood 😮 It's so important to advocate for ourselves and to get second diagnoses.
Me in bed in tears for hours now, because my uterus is tearing down its walls, having taken tylenol, naproxen natrium, heavy bleeding, changing pads every hour, in bed for 2 days, and having been told it's fine by both male and female doctors...I'm tiiiredd of medical gaslighting
I am exactly the same- I’ve thrown up and passed out from the excruciating pain I experience on/around my period, but I’ve just been told to take ibuprofen and use a hot water bottle.
After extremely painful periods since shortly after I started having them, I cried in anger after experiencing period cramps after having surgery for endometriosis. I had cramps that ACTUALLY went away with pain medicine. I'd been literally drawing blood trying to distract myself from pain despite pain medicine while being told that what I experienced was "normal" and that "I was too sensitive" since I was 11 (I was in my late 20s by the time I had my surgery). What I experienced post surgery was apparently "normal" and it was like I was experiencing a pin prick compared to my previous normal of being tortured for a couple of days a month. I'm sharing because when people hear, "I am in a lot of pain," they often think that you are talking about my post-surgery level pain rather than my pre-surgery period pains. Your experience isn't normal, and it would have helped me to have someone validate that. Also, a hormonal IUD made me stop having periods (doesn't happen for everyone), and that has felt like a wonderful gift. I hope you can get some help.
*TW Graphic Content* When I was 32, I was driving my mom in my big, bouncy truck, and she was stiffening at every bump, then at one particular dip at an intersection, she grasped at her breast and audibly cried out. After asking her each time earlier if she was okay, this time, I sternly said "Mom, WHAT is wrong??" She played it off and said she was just a bit sore. When we got back to her house, she took me all the way into the back bedroom and closed the door (no one else was even home) and told me, "Now. I'm going to show you something, but you CAN'T tell your sisters (I have 3)." She proceeded to pull down her bra fabric to reveal some medical gauze pads that were stained black. Pulling those aside she revealed a large, blackish, open sore on her breast that was oozing. I was *horrified* that she hadn't been to the doctor, and kind of a little bit maybe yelled at her gently that it needed care, then helped her make appointments and get the proverbial ball rolling. She had stage 3 metastatic breast cancer, but literally "didn't want to bother anyone." I still believe that she would have lived had she sought treatment sooner. Please, PLEASE don't do this to your loved ones. Take care of yourselves - we ARE worth it, we are NOT being too much, and we DESERVE competent, compassionate CARE.
I'm so sorry, I'm glad she listened to you because at least it would have given her time to prepare, even if treatment ended up not being able to give her more time.
Not as dire as that, but my grandma struggled a lot with mobility in her last 10 years, but wouldn't use a mobility aid even when her doctor recommended it. She'd fall, and get hurt, and every time my heart clenched as I worried about how badly she was hurt. But she refused help getting around and refused help getting back up, and refused to be assessed by a medical professional after her falls or because of them. Having been a horrified loved one who was affected by Grandma's lack of using a mobility aid, I didn't fight it when at 37 a hospital PT told me I needed one. I still wish my grandma had put aside her pride and used a mobility aid. There was a lot she wanted to do together but couldn't because she refused any aid.
That's heartbreaking that she didn't want to "bother" anyone. I grew up in a family like this. I often heard, "Don't be a baby! Walk it off!" If they had taken me to the doctor they might have found out that I have a connective tissue disorder. But maybe not.
My brother with severe ADHD garnered the lion's share of attention when we were growing up. Me? I was called lazy. A day-dreamer. Dramatic. Turned out I also had ADHD (just presented like a girl), chronic fatigue, amemia, endometriosis, PCOS, and a bunch of other things. I tried to tell my parents and doctors what was happening but I was called an attention seeker. I gave up. I just masked, shut down, and tried to muddle through on my own. Ended up with anxiety and depression and other issues. After many years, I finally heard the "self advocate" mantra enough to push for help. They still almost missed my uterine and ovarian cancer but I was pushy as hell! And that's hard for me. I don't people and I certainly don't doctor well. I had to jump through some unconventional hoops to be heard, but I got there. Just celebrated one year of no cancer. I still have a ton of issues but major cancer surgery actually fixed several other things. Keep looking until you find a doctor who listens. ❤
It’s frightening to think of how many others fell through the cracks because they didn’t or couldn’t speak up. But Congratulations for advocating for yourself!! We, as women really need to learn to do this. I’m so happy you made it!!
Medical gaslighting is so awful, I'm sorry you went/are going through that. Sometimes doctors can't seem to see past their own prejudices enough to bring themselves to diagnose someone with a condition THAT THEY HAVE and believe that they're doing you a "favor" for not "labeling you" :///
When actual MEDICAL PROVIDERS just blow off your symptoms so much, you really start to feel like your pain isn't real. It can feel like banging your head on a brick wall to keep asking for care and keep being told "oh you just need to exercise/lose weight/take vitamins" and get refused testing or imaging. Keep. Fighting.
THIS. I've been in the loop for over a year now after finally realizing that my symptoms weren't something that everyone experiences and I'm just handling them worse. I'm so tired but I can't stop. I gotta keep fighting.
This. Also something I did was do a ton of research on various herbal medicines and herbs, and made teas that mimic the chemicals of low dose medications for things like anxiety, menstral issues, etc. and seeing if they actually make a difference. I'm not at all saying ditch one type of medicine for another, or to do so willy nilly, but that sometimes doing this WITH RESEARCH AND ALL THE CAUTIONS can help you see if the issue is physical. If you feel different or better by adding helpful medicinal plants. Luckily I have health providers now who help me a lot more, and who support a blend of traditional western medicine and herbal medicine from various cultures and types of plants, making sure my meds and the herbs do not interract negatively. It personally works for me a lot as I am hypersensitive to most medicinal chemicals, and herbs tend to be far lower doses and less concentrated than official medications---and don't have artificial dyes, which I am allergic to. Also as a female person in the US, I fear this medicinal information with herbs will soon be my only medication access.
You're discussions around invisible disability is how I found your channel, I can't express my gratitude enough for your advocacy, wisdom, and solidarity...Took 18 years for my eds diagnosis and I found a lot of solace in your videos for the past 7 years of this adventure in medical incompetence and stigmatization.
Not me sitting here with fibromyalgia, cptsd, eds, autism, adhd, and currently seeing a neurologist to find out why my body just goes into spasms for days at a time. Thanks for the video and being your wonderful self!
Feeeel this. I don't have spasms, but my issues including a lot of chronic pain, flare ups, and hypermobility "too little" to be EDS. Currently fighting to figure out what is wrong in my body so I can manage it without worrying I accidentally make it worse without knowing.
@@ErutaniaRose EDS is more than hEDS and other types of EDS are less hypermobile than hEDS and they have tests you can take. My mum got told she wasn't hypermobile enough and she was like "I'm nearly 50, of course I'm less hypermobile than when younger." and we still got both our diagnosis in the end. I hope you can find what's causing your body to not work well!
I had been dx’d with MS for 15 years and still didn’t believe I was sick “enough!” It took realizing I needed a cane to admit that all my “laziness” (not showering daily, not dressing in anything but jeans & tee, not cleaning the house, not LEAVING the house, etc) are my disease not my moral failing. Internalized ableism, capitalism, and misogyny are a helluva drug. 😢
Currently at the process of diagnosis, waiting for my mri scans.. Apart from some obvious symptoms, i kept feeling like i'm 'just lazy' and just have 'low stamina because i don't move enough'. I struggle with sensory issues, i could live in t-shirt and leggings, keeping house clean is a struggle, especially when it comes to scrubbing and all the 'tiring' activities, stairs at workplace are a struggle i feel most ashamed of, when i'm out of breath after 1 level.. i sleep a lot which i also feel guilty of being called' an old lady'.
@ Fatigue is the worst! When our own brains go on strike, other people can’t see anything but our observable behavior (or lack thereof). Be kind to yourself. Good luck on your diagnostic journey. ❤️🩹
@@HollyOly Oh my god yes. This. I get called lazy a lot, and it's so hard to show other people what it's really like. I made a 0-10 tiredness scale that I gave to a lot of close friends/family, and I tell them what number I'm at. If anyone wants to make their own: you put down the things you are able to do at each level (I made up units of housework, as well as comfortable thresholds for part or full time work). Then you tell people where your normal range is, and hopefully they respect it
“You can’t open jars! And there are good things in jars, so it might be worth considering that you do have EDS and seeking a diagnosis?” I LOVE this quote both because it’s hilarious but because it also acknowledges that if what you’re experiencing causes you to enjoy life less no matter how “small” is worth investigating
As someone whose medical trauma is very much rooted in familial abuse (doctor father and nurse mother), I can heartily recommend to get a second, third, fourth or more recommendations and to talk about things with friends. Turns out it wasn't growing pains. Turns out I'm not just a lazy, flawed asshole. Thankfully I have pain meds to lessen some of my symptoms now, but I still don't have any sort of diagnosis - turns out, having ADHD and EDS (at this stage, it's very unlikely to not be, and it took a long time to accept this) is not very conducive to getting a diagnosis in a system where you have to follow up and chase doctors for answers. If they take you seriously to begin with.
One very specific thing: doctors, especially gynaecologists REFUSING to do an internal scan, and doing an abdominal scan only, because I haven't had intercourse yet... I'm going to lie the next time if that's what it takes to do a proper check-up. I'm 27 and never once felt like having sex, so for us on the ace spectrum, or being demi and not having found someone yet, we just don't get the opportunity. This is the Netherlands btw. I called the clinic and they confirmed it was going to be an internal scan, went there, and the doctor refused. Even though i told her multiple times that I'm okay with doing an internal one, multiple times. 3 days ago, when i went to get an abdominal scan, because they were convinced it must be an inguinal hernia causing the pain. The hernia they couldn't find, just like my right ovary, it wasn't even visible, only the left ovary...imagine a person, male, missing their right ball, everyone would take that seriously, but when it's an ovary...no actions taken
I'm sorry that happened to you. Gynecological issues are a minefield when dealing with doctors. They're still inclined to be paternalistic and dismissive of patients reporting symptoms. You'd think female bodies were aliens with as hard as it is apparently everywhere to get a diagnosis. You're right; if you had a male body, it wouldn't have been as difficult for you, and that's too absurd to be so in this day and age.
i know someone who was diagnosed and treated for cervical cancer and she had never had intercourse either, its entirely possible and i hope you can find a medical professional that will give you the care you need!
I don't understand your Doctor it shouldn't matter if you've had intercourse or not. It's the better diagnostic tool it's the one that should be used. By the way internal scans if it's the cervix where they put the probe it's not as uncomfortable as having a pap smear. If they need to do it rectally it is more uncomfortable but still not that bad. Especially as it's not that long that they have to do the scan. I hope you can find a Doctor who's willing to do what is necessary to get you diagnosed.
@@KatjeKat86They refuse to do the internal scan on virgins because they think doing the exam will take your virginity. Never,ind that virginity doesn’t even biologically exist, it’s just a social concept…
Can you please do a sequel to this covering how to deal with medical fatigue after you've started the diagnosis process? My illness started a bit over 2 years ago, and I only recently got a tentative/incomplete diagnosis. I've nearly given up on doctors appointments because I'm simply too exhausted to keep digging
Seconding this, as if figuring out what the problem is isn’t hard enough, no that’s only the beginning. Doing something about it is so daunting and huge a lot of the time. Like, with what energy?
@@Oakleaf012 this is me right now. I am choosing to "suffer" through my perimenopause because this. It's a huge cycle because my perimenopause affects my mental and physical energy levels each damn day.
Yes, this. It took me years to get diagnosed with endometriosis. I'm pretty sure I have POTs and even just 4 months into the process of various doctors and appointments and tests and I'm already questioning whether it is even worth the energy to keep going since there's no treatment anyway.
@@user-su4re3zt4w I'm not sure if there isn't treatment available where you live, but there are definitely ways to treat POTS! The Australian POTS foundation website has a list of some options listed on their "living with POTS" page (you have to scroll down a fair way). I feel you on the medical fatigue though. I try to space out appointments, and sometimes prioritise social things and time in nature (even just outside my house), because I know they bolster my mental health, which needs to be good enough to withstand the doctors and medication changes and stuff. Realising that (as much as I can bear it) I should try to build a good life in the unwell rather than spending ALL of my energy on desperately trying to climb out of it... it's helped me to stay a bit sane.
Yes, please please please! I've been dealing with my symptoms for decades at this point and have serious trouble trying to motivate myself to try to solve them (or even get a diagnosis) when I have workarounds that mostly work. Yes, they restrict my life a lot, but they're reliable and so easy to fall back on instead of investing effort in a problem that has proved mysterious and intractable.
Just because you are functioning does not mean you are well. Everyone says “health is wealth” etc but also say “don’t worry about it it’s all in your head” took me 12 years before getting an endo diagnoses, manieres, adhd, and optical migraines. Woot! Our bodies go through things and deserve respect.
The fun thing about "health is wealth" under capitalism is that it really means "health is survival" 💀 being denied healthcare is even *more* dangerous.
For years (5 years) doctors dismissed my mom's concerns about anomalies in her breasts as "dense breasts" or similar despite mammograms. One day mom ended up in the ER with severe and sudden illness the primary doctor previously diagnosed as bronchitis and inflammation of the galbaldder, the xray tech aligned the machine to get the bottom of the rib cage and captured the edge of a breast tumor. Stage 3C. 30 days later mom had a double mastectomy and the cancer advanced to stage 4. We didn't delay seeking care, but mom was regularly discarded by medical professionals that didn't bothered. "it's dense breasts, lose weight and exercise more" was all they kept saying. We're a few years later, mom has been kicked off marketplace insurance and florida medicaid and likely she'll be booted off medicare next early year. Fighting for mom the last few years made me go back and revisit my prior diagnoses and illnesses out of fear my doctors failed to properly investigate the problem.
I think every single thing your "evil little voice in your head" persona said is something I've said to myself before. Thank you so much for this video.
As someone who has been told this by doctors, once even while i was pregnant and obviously carrying pregnancy weight, i feel terrible for anyone else who has had legitimate medical issued waved away wiht this statement.
I honestly feel like this is why it took me over a decade to finally learn that I had rheumatoid arthritis almost 3 years ago, or why it took my mom worrying that my appendix was rupturing to get diagnosed with PCOS
Not at expert at all, but I don't think mental illness _has_ to stem from trauma. I would think you could have an awesomely positive life and your brain chemistry just does different things.
An important reminder from a mental health counselor in training, some people go to therapy for “normal” life adjustment difficulties or things like stress (not talking about a stress disorder, just “normal” stress). You don’t have to even be mentally ill to seek care, but if you end up getting a diagnosis at the end of an intake, then yay you got what you wanted and can continue to get *more care* everyone wins!
I ignored severe inflammation in my joints for weeks until my mom told me it wasn't normal, after a small odyssey through doctors and clinics, I now have a diagnosis of rheumatoid arthritis. I was 28 when it started, and I am just so thankful that my doctor took me seriously.
God, so much this. I have diagnoses, but I do the whole thing where I don't feel disabled enough to apply for government assistance. Side note, LOVE the bangs!
After being told it's all in my head when my wrist bone was dying, when I seeked my autism and adhd diagnosis, when I had lost lung capacity because of covid and so on, I got a few great diagnosis that helped. Only to tell my doctor three days ago that I have shortness of breath when I go up the stairs or do certain physical activities and him to have the AUDACITY to tell me maybe I have "stairs related trauma" and that's why I feel faint. I have to fight every doctor for every single thing even after being proven right like with my hand. If I hadn't found one doctor to listen to me I would have lost the bone and hand function, they literally diagnosed me as the bone had a paper thin outer layer and was all dead inside, another year and my wrist would have collapsed. I had to fail university 4 times and literally cry because I just can't do the stuff I want to do to 3 psychiatrists and 2 doctors before I was given the order to get an adhd assessment and finally get meds. It sucks being told it's anxiety because you express worry over your symptoms to the person who is supposed to be trained in diagnosing and helping you as a patient.
I am now terrified by doctors. They are too often arrogant and narcissistic, and have too much power over you if they choose. They can ignore you or focus excessively on you, harming you either way. They call hypochondria 'somatoform disorder' now, at least in the US. I had a doctor absolutely trash my medical chart being two faced and ignoring what I told him I bodily felt. GP not a specialist or psych doc in any way...he put in his notes I had somatoform disorder and bipolar (when I complained that I wasn't being helped, naturally a complaint is a mood disorder in his mind? He'd seen me twice before that, in no way he saw enough for what he stated.). He refused to run more than the basic tests. Let me just say, you don't want to go to the ER with a psych condition on your chart, they will continue to gaslight that it's in your head. I couldn't eat due to pain, and have already had my entire colon removed prior to seeing him. He wanted to make me take a medication to increase appetite, and my refusal triggered him to act against me. My knee was locking up and I'd lost mobility. It wasn't in my head. However they put me in the hospital on a 72 hour hold. The psychiatrists concluded the other doctors were wrong and I didn't have a psych issue. DIdn't stop them from holding me against my will. I ended up having knee surgery a month after when I switched hospital systems. I'm on a biologic (rinvoq) which fixed my inability to eat easily. But now I'm truly traumatized by doctors. They have TREMENDOUS power over you if they choose to mischaracterize your symptoms. It takes a huge labor to get them to correct their records if another doctor makes poor diagnoses. Other doctors shook their heads at his notes, and deleted them...but they're still there. An anesthesiologist added the psych conditions back after seeing me for 5 minutes before surgery...so had to get them removed again. I'm chronically ill and terrified going to the doctor.
I saw a craigslist ad once for a woman who wanted an intimidating biker type guy to come to her appointment and advocate for her. (She offered money in exchange, and stipulated they had to meet elsewhere first to make sure the dude in question knew what she needed to communicate.) I've never done this myself, but I can see the appeal. I hope you find a doctor who is actually trustworthy! You deserve it.
@@sarahwatts7152 Thank you for your kind words and very apt suggestion. I have been asking family to come with me. When my sister came, the doctor was dismissive. I had to beg, again, for the MRI that showed I needed surgery. He insisted I was probably fine. When my father came, I got fantastic attention. It's ridiculous. With some doctors, having a man there makes a huge, unnecessary difference.
So let me guess, you had possibly colon cancer that didn’t get taken seriously? That’s the worst! I’m guessing that’s why you had your colon removed, because when adults get their colon removed it’s usually caused by cancer. I don’t know what you had knee surgery for, it’s hard to guess because it’s a variety of health conditions that require knee surgery.
One thing you could do, depending on your country, is search for physician assistant (PA) or nurse practitioner (NP) providers instead of doctors (MDs). In my experience, they've been much easier to communicate with and willing to listen. They're also much more thorough in collecting patient history and physical exam. Doctors tend to do the minimum of everything and rush me out the door.
Thank you for permission to skip this video. ❤️ I've had a lot of awful experiences around the idea of being "ill enough", and while I do want to support your channel, this topic is a bit much for me.
I'm glad you protected yourself! That's really important, and something I struggle with sometimes (my gosh dang curiosity lol). Sending you love across the interwebs 💕
Jessica, I love you and your content, but one huge thing you've missed here (and in some other videos around these topics) is body size. Fat people, like myself, give up going to the doctor because doctors basically diagnose you as fat, tell you to lose weight, or try to bully you into bariatric surgery. Seriously, I've been to a doctor for a sinus infection, and because of my BMI, I got 20 min lecture about losing weight and they nearly forgot I had a sinus infection.Or how about the time I went to an endocrinologist to get a diagnosis for my PCOS, but then was told I had PCOS because I was fat and that I'd be better off starving myself to lose weight. Oh, and the gynecologist who was bullying me to get bariatric surgery while she had her hands in me just to check my IUD. It took me 4 times telling her "I don't want to talk about that. It's not what I came for!" and being in tears before she stopped (I actually reported this one, but of course, nothing happened). And then there's pretty much every doctor that assumes you're going be non-compliant because you're fat so you must be stupid and have no self-discpline (which then usually brings things around to bariatric surgery again). Or not being able to get any surgeries that would help you get out and move more or even fix a disability because you're too fat or they don't have mobility equipment because you're too big or the equipment costs hundreds or thousands more. So yeah, everything you talked about in this video becomes a million times harder if your BMI is anything over 25. (Generally, but you get the idea...)
It’s so true and completely ridiculous and dangerous this happens. My body weight fluctuates a lot, I’ve been fat, I’ve been skinny, everything in between and rarely have I done much to cause it, it’s just part of my disabilities, but the treatment from health care professionals when I’m fat or even just a little bit chubby, it’s as if I’m worthless and stupid and did this to myself on purpose and my concerns are all dismissed. When I’m thin they take my concerns seriously (if at all, but more likely to). Really weird and uncool.
When I turned 50, I went in for standard blood work and my Dr. was visibly upset that all my results were in the normal range. He even commented that my cholesterol was lower than his. I still got the “lose weight” talk.
I got the other way, "eat a bit more chocolate and put on 2 or more kilograms". Anything to easily get out of making more tests. But damn, the rate at which overweight people get ignored until they either lose weight or have a serious complication is insane 😢 Yes, it's better to be slimmer, but some people just can't upkeep it, for various reasons, and the illness in question should be treated anyway. I think the medical gaslighting is about as huge as with all the misogyny out there, really don't envy you how much you need to advocate for yourself. Best wishes to you 🤞
one of the symptoms of PCOS is weight gain and struggles with losing it. gotta love how people will ignore basic knowledge about their field just so they can know-it-all their way out of doing their job
Got told in a clinics department for vision aids (where they prescribe magnifying glasses and special reading glasses for people with low vision) that I should be grateful I still have 20% vision in my non blind eye because "there's people that can't see at all" still salty
Chronic pain (and more, because there's always more) for twenty years here, and only recently with a new doctor and losing yet another job to it and the fatigue, have I been taken seriously. Now stuck in referral limbo and an NHS waiting list so long they didn't even give me an estimated time scale for an appointment. Your next video may well be helpful with the next stage of this journey, because this one has all the things in it that I had to do to be taken seriously this time around. It's exhausting having to advocate for yourself when you're ill and least able to fight.
Yes! Every time she piped up, I snapped "Shut up, Phyllis!" (Phyllis is what I've named my internal critic 😂Sorry to any real Phyllises who are probably lovely people!)
Hi, closeted gay teenager here. I just wanted to say thank you, to both of you but Claudia especially. I look different from all the kids around me, and I dress different, I’m constantly bombarded with “wear dresses more” “if you wore dresses more…” “you’d be so pretty of you wore this…” and idk but seeing Claudia dress how she wants, look how she wants and still be happy and confident in her beauty, it’s just…wow. Maybe I do deserve love. Maybe I do look beautiful. So, thanks. For showing me what confidence is.
I just spent over a month of denying how bad of an UTI and kidney swelling I had, because it happens all the time. This time, though, I was the lucky winner of the "You get to have a one week stay in the hospital" sweepstakes. Not only that, the only bed available for me at the time was in the neuro ward. This meant that my attending physician not only did not understand how painful "just" a UTI can be (especially with renal swelling), but it also meant that he had no true knowledge on how to treat acute breakthrough pain with a patient who already has a diagnosis of chronic pain. All of this lead to him denying me pain relief that took better care of both kinds of my pain than just my typical meds could do (because I wasn't just experiencing acute or chronic pain, but both), because I wasn't asking for my typical meds...that weren't working on all my pain, which is why I went to the ER in the first place. He then "graciously" (re: he was a total a$$ about it) gave me a weaker pain med, that sorta helped, but not entirely. THEN he took me off the new medication, because apparently there can be issues of it causing kidney damage. Need I remind you, I was in the hospital for not only a MASSIVE UTI, but a massive UTI that causes renal swelling, which can cause kidney damage. So, I was left with the medication I usually take, but knew it wouldn't help with the acute pain I was in, so it wasn't helping either my acute pain nor my typical pain. He also made a heartless joke during team rounding on Friday about how it's the weekend, so he's going home, and then pointedly said, "but you can't." Tasteless, cruel, unprofessional, and traumatizing. I already have a great deal of medical PTSD, so I was trying to mask and work with my triggers, but that meant that when something frustrated or made me feel "less than" I could no longer control the panic attacks that kept coming. This is the second time I have been hospitalized in that particular hospital for exactly the same thing (only difference was this one responded to typical antibiotics, and the other time it was a MDR strain), and both times came with a terrible experience. I refuse to return there, unless I have no other options. Sorry for the diatribe, this is all still so fresh in my mind. I discharged only 5 days ago.
@@jennifers5560 thank you so much, that's very kind of you. Thankfully I am on the mend. It may take ne a little while longer to bounce back than most people would, but I'm lucky enough to have an amazing support system that will help get me through this. I hope you have a lovely day!
That's appalling, and I am so sorry! You deserve to be listened to and respected by the system that's supposed to help you! 🤬 fuck that doctor in a bad way.
Doctors are trained in anatomy and physiology regardless of which specialty they choose later. They are fully aware of just how painful kidneys can become and know that something as "mild" as passing a kidney stone can feel as painful as childbirth (but may take much longer). Such intense inflammation in and around the kidney should feel just as bad, if not worse. This is common knowledge in the medical profession. In other words, he wasn't cruel out of ignorance but out of intention. I'm so sorry about your experience and hope you never have to experience kidney pain or that hospital again.
@@residentialpsycho1075 Thank you for your assessment of the situation, and your very kind words. It feels validating to know someone outside of the situation can see how harmful this sort of inaction can be.
As someone that has been struggling with physical symptoms for around 4 years now and been told that im just hyper mobile and weak. Don’t do what I did, keep fighting and don’t let your doctors convince you that you are fine when you are not. You know your body better than they do, they can’t tell you what you are feeling.
My family doctor here in Canada refuse to diagnose me with two things. One I have ADHD he told me women do not. He also said that I got to the age of 45, then I am fine. So you’ve lost some weight he says after I went in with an application 😢 disorder clinic after being diagnosed with anorexia. But I have to be thankful because here in Nova Scotia there are no family doctors and if you have one, you are lucky.
I'm so sorry you had to go through all that. My mom was convinced I had ADD from the time I was fairly young, but because I didn't have behavioral issues at school and got all my work completed my teachers all said I was fine. When I had to start seeing a psychiatrist for what was originally thought to be depression, he confirmed that my mom was right and I did have ADD. I struggled with disordered eating starting in fourth grade until I was a sophomore in high school and was receiving proper treatment for my mental health problems that were the underlying cause. I'm very fortunate to have not had any severe or lasting effects, but having my first therapist basically dismiss me when I tried to talk to her about it was so discouraging and set me back in a lot of my recovery efforts.
Getting an actual diagnosis can be very challenging for anyone these days, sadly. It's always great to see people raising the awareness on that, thank you for contributing to positive changes being made for everyone. 10 years + of struggling with bad female health issues here, 5ish years to trying to get a basic health check for it in the UK other than a nurse touching my stomach and announcing there can't be anything wrong there since she can't feel anything wrong with her fingers, etc. Happy to prescribe a 5th type of pills and wish me luck with them though. It can be so hard not to question the validity of what I'm experiencing even though it's the sort of pain and issues Ik well can't be normal. It's always good to hear at least when somebody else has actually managed to get the help they need. Hopefully things can be better for everybody one day.
Thank you for making and sharing this! I think this video should also be shared with military veterans. Too many of them feel they just need to "suck it up and soldier on" without realizing how much stress and sadness it brings their loved ones.
I have type 1 diabetes and basically that exact story happened to me! But the doctor who told me my symptoms were just stress also had type 1, which makes the medical gaslighting even more unbelievable. Always listen to your body first
The thing is hypochondria is more easily treated than chronic fatigue! It would actually be better, I am really suffering. I keep seeing doctors but, still can't find a cure for my chronic fatigue.
Look into thyroid conditions! I went over a decade wondering if I had chronic fatigue and was talked out of it by family and doctors. If Id gotten help the first time, it wouldve been easily treatable. But I instead got diagnosed after I started going through the final stages of hypothyroidism. Thyroid conditions are treatable, and easy to check for. If they refuse to test, ask them to document the refusal and make sure to mention that you'll need that printed for your documentation at home. ;) suddenly you could *totally* get some bloodwork done. If you have chronic fatigue, Im afraid most conditions with that symptom can only be managed and relieved, but not cured. The earlier they find the source, the better your chances of feeling back to normal. You just might have to get a pill organizer if you dont already have one.
I have autoimmune issues, and fatigue comes along with it. Chronic fatigue and chronic pain have a source. I am so sorry that they dismiss it as all in your head. Do they forget the head is part of the body, and perhaps dismissing it as essentially a personal failing of the patient is cruel? Yes, yes they do. It comes down to it being easier to dismiss female patients in particular as emotional than to do the work if they don't immediately understand the cause.
I have a really weird relationship with my chronic illness disabilities because I grew up being told there was nothing wrong with my by my parents and then when the depression kicked off the snowball downwards of health issues, mainly mental health at the time, I was treated like I was just acting up But then when I would go out seeking diagnoses once I was an adult and able to schedule doctors visits myself, I started getting a lot of immediate response because yeah something very clearly was wrong. Even when I had the 1 thing that was a long diagnosis progress, it was because I didn't have the typical presentation for it - PCOS but without a single cyst which is just hilarious considering it's a condition with cyst in the name - and then I got the diagnosis because I responded to treatment and my doctor was the best - love her so much but then I got an autism diagnosis within like 30 minutes of talking about it to the doctor, going yeah I have a lot of stuff that I do even while feeling so uncomfortable because of my parents shaming me for expressing them, and then I got my disability application accepted without needing to appeal it which was basically the route you had to take in Ireland because so many disabled people were denied the first time and accepted on appeal, but I got accepted right away and that was before even more stuff came out about my health but yet my family still has the underlying attitude that I'm not disabled because I'm not in a wheelchair - which I attribute in part to my father losing a leg about 15 years ago so that's kind of their view of disability, not me, the problem daughter whose disabilities often came out in the behaviour they hated when I was younger and this is my opinion after a few years of therapy, I don't think they can mentally combine the fact that all the behaviour they hated was symptoms of the disabilities I was not being treated for at the time and my seeking out a name for what was wrong with me wasn't actually funny but me knowing that there was something deeply wrong but no one could name it to me but I was still doing something WRONG and couldn't figure out why
Hi Jessica, thanks for the video. I had the little devil telling me for years nothing was wrong, but also the people around me. I was fat and needed to lose weight. Eat less even though I felt I was starving. Do more exercise even though I was exhausted. Get a hair removal treatment with laser that didn't work one bit, even after a year. I was then diagnosed, after about 10 years, with Cushings, a disease predominant in women much older than me. My operation was in 2020, and my microadenome, removed. My life significantly improved and I slowly got part of my self-confidence and energy back. I feel a bit like my life was partially wasted feeling miserable. And still is due to my extreme generalised anxiety, diagnosed 2 years ago. But it wasn't the only issue I had. Some people even don't believe my recent ADHD diagnosis ( i.e. my parents amongst others). And of course even though it's hereditary "they don't have it". I can't tell you how many times they forgot to pick me up from school. My mum and I also have autism symptoms, but for example the therapist I used to go to said "if I did have it it doesn't affect me enough to get a diagnosis". I am also scared of getting a diagnosis because there are countries where being autistic can be a reason for denying you entry or denying you a job... And my mum not getting help for her extreme anxiety "that she doesn't have" has led to me to distance myself from her. As well as her blunt, direct comments that (she doesn't see why) hurt me. Got that off my chest, wow
I'd love to see a collaboration with Footless Jo! She's a below the knee amputee and stroke survivor, among other things. She's in the U.S. so I think it would be interesting to hear about the differences and similarities in your experiences given the fact that youre in different countries, as well as differences in treatment when being treated as a single woman, a woman in a straight relationship, and a woman in a gay relationship.
Getting diagnosed with my Neurodivergencies is not accessible to me at this time, but honestly, seeing almost all of my favourite UA-camrs being diagnosed with either Autism or ADHD or both in the last 2 years has been massively validating.
Ive been having this struggle with a couple of things, especially with possible EDS. Especially since I've done gymnastics for SO many years of my life, its really easy to brush it off as "oh, of course I have tons of joint problems, I've done an intense sport for over a decade" and "oh, of course im flexible, gymnasts are meant to be flexible" (even though even my other friends in gymnastics can be a little freaked out by how flexible I can he). And on top of that, it feels like I'm simply not allowed to try getting a diagnosis, because its not like I CAN'T do things in my daily life. I'm just in pain when I try to do stuff, but that feels like a matter of needing to suck it up. I feel like this video will be quite helpful, haha. 😅
I hope the health care system can actually help you even though you now know you’re not the only one feeling like isht. I think we are all being poisoned steadily.
Not you articulating my deepest fear in the opening of your video 💀 it's so hard to accept that my experience isn't normal and I'm not weak for having trouble doing things that are easy for a lot of people. Why can I be compassionate toward others but not myself?
The financial dread is what keeps me away from any diagnosis, or changing from a doctor I'm not fond of and seeking a new practice. Commenting for the algorithm - great video!
The relief of having a medical professional tell me that yes, yes I do have anxiety, and so much of it. Being believed and heard makes such a difference.
Even after more than a decade of working through my own mental health issues and supporting others with theirs, I still find things in your videos that I need to learn or get reminded of Your work and presence is a present to this world
Your symptoms are valid. Always believe your body. I learned that after having my debilitating upper back pain written off by everyone for decades. Turned out it was asthma. FOR DECADES I COULDN'T BREATH PROPERLY. It took weeks of catastrophic bushfire smoke for anyone to start asking basic questions about lung function and finally work it out. Ugh.
This is good message here thank you. I’m currently in hospital hooked up to fluids after a week of scans and tests all coming back as totally normal but blood results suggesting things are not good and I wonder if it’s all in my head and just not trying hard enough. Our society has warped our brains to not take our health and physical condition seriously. And the shame of having time off sick and having to rationalise yourself to all the judges is crazy. Not to mention sickness demonisation of benefits lazy people in the media, how dare you be sick and not contribute to society?! It’s a much needed subject your covering
My parents brushed everything off because one psychiatrist told them my back pain and migraines were because of my anxiety. It was always “in my head” and requests for appointments, braces, and mobility aids went ignored. These people had the balls to be hurt and angry I didn’t tell them I got hit by a car and that I didn’t ask to see the doctor until I was becoming physically sick from the pain. I hate when people say “it’s all in your head” to try and discount it.
You're not speaking to me -- I have no symptoms to report to anyone -- but videos like yours are super-important for people like me to watch. Without charming and engaging calls to action like this, it's too easy for us symptomless folks to make all the wretched assumptions you describe. The comments suggest that few symptomless people are engaging, but I fervently hope that others are watching, learning, and keeping shtum.
I was thinking about how I could explain my conclusions to my doctor, or even if I should bother, and then the universe plopped this video's notification in my lap. Ah, question answered. ❤
Clicked on this video so fast. It was Jessica's channel that helped me realise that it was worth pursuing a diagnosis for myself, as I was really grappling with 'am I ill enough'. Thank you Jessica!
I'd like to share my reason for non seeking diagnosis for many years and it's kinda related to "it's all in your head" "You're doing it because it's trendy!" As a child my step-mom would dismiss anything she didn't like about me by saying it was "just a phase" (the phase was undiagnosed OCD) or I was "just doing it because it was trendy" and because of that I felt I had to be 100% certain that a label applied to me, otherwise it would be dismissed. I probably would have realized I was trans in highschool, but I refused to let myself explore pronouns because I was afraid I was just doing it to be trendy. My ADHD cousin stayed with my family over quarantine. I wanted to know how to better accommodate him so I did a lot of research on neurodivergence. I found I related to a lot to those #Accutally Autistic videos and considered that I might be autistic, but I thought I wanted to be autistic for the trend so I refused to give myself accommodations that would have really helped me. It took another year and my mom pointing out all the signs I had to finally let myself say I'm autistic.
At the most difficult parts of my health journey not only did diversifying my care team, but also keeping a journal of symptoms and feelings to report back to each person in said care team was a huge help. This takes a lot of labor on the patient’s end, but it began filling in the gaps that the medical system could not provide for me. Also, it’s so interesting to me that so many of us experience the same sides of a problem: I don’t want to be a burden, I have to be capable always, I can’t let down the people who depend on me. I have so much compassion for people who have these feelings because it can be a lonely place to be when help is not sought after.
It's so much easier to be compassionate for others than ourselves! My new reframing is that I'm respecting and honoring those other people by being patient and gentle with myself, and keeping my compassion muscles strong 💕
Excellent. I also wish more people felt empowered to "fire" their doctor. Once I realized that things were much better for me. I've fired a few doctors over my lifetime and it's been a great decision each time because the quality of care increased dramatically. (I realize there are complications with this in areas with limited medical options, etc.)
The timing of this video is really helpful for me! I finally got around to making an appointment to talk to my doctor about some weird fatigue and things that I've been experiencing. The encouragement to really advocate for myself and not let my doctor just brush me off is really helpful!!
It took me 5 years to get a sleep study for excessive daytime sleepiness because my sudden sleeping while standing, eating, talking, etc was just because 'teenagers are always tired'. Then I stopped being a teenager and people started taking me seriously. Hopefully getting answers soon!
And please: a good work-out plus enough sleep and water doesn't cure everything. Everyone told me: nah just work out more at the gym Reality: got a second heart issue and the training could have worsent everything. Don't let others tell you that you're just lazx and find a doctor believing your words. This is the way better help for yozr body&soul/mind/psyche ! ❤meow❤😻 Thank you Jessica for bringing this important topic up!❤❤❤
Years ago i watched your videos about your pots. It help me come to terms with my chronic back pain. This year i realized i have pots. Its has been hell.
Thank you so much for your validation Jessica❤ I’ve struggled with a chronic illness since I was 14, and it has been totally debilitating at times. I only recently accepted that having an illness that renders me unable to work or effectively live means I have a disability, and it’s been a really difficult journey. It’s been hard to get myself to take my symptoms seriously, and getting others to take them seriously has been impossible at times. Thank you for sharing your experience and reassuring us all that we aren’t crazy! Much love to you and your family ❤
Ive only known u from some posts that got suggested to me on my instagram fy page, I must say I’m very happy to have found your UA-cam channel now as well. With all the drama in the world right now, your video’s have added a wholesome upbeatness to random stuff you like to talk about /or want to talk about. I love bingewatching atm hahah
I have regular anaphylaxis and anaphylactic shocks "out of nowhere". Stress causes them, but it's not as simple as - stress leads to immediate anaphylaxis. It's complex in a a way, where sometimes I have them just straight up out of nowhere for me. I've had these since I was 11. Alongside a slew of other physical symptoms. Since I was a baby I was constantly sick, different illnesses, constantly puzzling medical providers. Doctors were unable to find anything, blamed it on it being psychosomatic, told me to deal with it, even yelled at me. I was in a allergologists wing in a hospital for two weeks as a teenager, they tested for everything but didnt find anything and started giving me cortisol just to throw something at it and then wouldn't listen when I was talking about the severe side effects that actually indicate to stop taking the drug. Pain is a constant for me. My teeth are completely destroyed, I can't eat without pain, nerve pains, stomach pains, dysmenorrhoea, asthmatic symptoma, along with a lot of others. My symptoms indicate it might be MCAS. And i have yet to be diagnosed because I'm pawned off from doctor to doctor because my physical issues are too complex. Same thing was told to me by psychiatrists, as my mental disabilities are a whole other can of worms. I was constantly told to just deal with it. That they cant save me from stress so theres nothing they can do. Etc. I wanted to give up so many times and I did for years. My medical trauma is giant. But I keep fighting. Because its a doctor's job to help. Go to a doctor. If your symptoms are bad enough or not, keep moving to get to know what's going on. Its your right to understand yourself. Dont give up.
hiii! it’s the first video of you that i watched, and i subscribed immediately! i wanted to ask if you could cover how also being fat is stopping people from going to the doctor for their symptoms because of the fear of not being taken seriously and just blaming them being fat. it is happening to me (i identify as a small fat person), and it’s so frustrating and infuriating that my severe symptoms related to my menstrual cycle that i have been having for years, even when i was thinner, are blamed on my weight. during my high school years i suffered from an ED and suggesting that i should lose weight is not just lazy medicine but also dangerous, especially for people who had/have an ED. anyway, thank you so much for speaking out about this issue!!! and the “devil” talking was like hearing my own brain LOL
Thank you for this video. I've been waiting to see a rheumatologist for 6 months, after years of visiting countless different doctors about my chronic fatigue and joint pain. I've been told my physical symptoms are only due to vitamin deficiencies and my mental health diagnosis, and that I'm too young to be having the symptoms I'm reporting, for so long. And even when I received a positive result for an autoimmune disorder, I was told it was a low positive so it's most likely inaccurate. Having to stress to doctors that sometimes my joint pain makes it impossible to move and causes my hips, knees, and ankles to give out and cause falls. And that I physically cannot wake up some mornings and am LITERALLY FALLING ASLEEP STANDING UP. Has been so exhausting. But I'm so grateful I kept fighting for them to take me seriously. Hopefully I'll have some answers to what my exact illness is soon. And I'm so proud of myself for not giving up! Your health matters! So please, if you're in a situation like me, don't give up either. We all deserve to get the help we need💓💓💓
There are specific types of youth arthritis that exist, so saying you're too young for arthritis symptoms is BS, autoimmune diseases can occur at any age! And seronegative rheumatoid arthritis exists too. Glad you're getting treatment now!
Idk if Jessica or anyone else has a video on this. But, I’d love to hear more about HOW to advocate for yourself in a medical setting. I have Autism, ADHD, and selective mutism and I have a very hard time getting across to my doctor my symptoms or just how bad they are. For example I asked about a month ago about getting my ADHD meds adjusted because they weren’t working anymore (i could literally take them then sleep for 8 hours) this is a common experience for me where ADHD meds will work for sometime then kind of stop working. My dr said that I probably just wasn’t noticing how well they were working and that if I stopped taking them for a few days I would notice and miss them. To no ones surprise, I’ve tried that and no, I don’t miss them. (This is not to mention that even if my meds were working a little bit, that doesn’t mean I don’t deserve to have medication that’s more effective. It’s not just a works or does not work situation).
I have been leaking from my ear for 6 months after getting a tube in an ear and didn't think it could be a cranial spinal fluid leak because I was under a misapprehension that I would have felt like I was dying if that were true. I'd had tubes when I was 6 prior to that and really wasn't sure it was like that then too. I was just feeling wet and gross. It hasn't gotten worse really, but after my friend begged me to go back and check with the doctor. Turns out I was wrong and now may have to have neuro surgery to patch it up as well the potential for really bad headaches going forward. Don't be like me. Just get it checked out. I am 44.
I've finally been going to doctors and trying to find whats wrong with me, so many tests that "came back clean' just for me to find out 2 days ago they did NOT come back clean. My suffering wasn't in my head. Thank you for making this video, it truly does help.
Very solid advice in this video. I sometimes wonder if how most of us dismiss the many minor health problems we face is why this country is so sick now. The worse the waiting lists have got at the NHS in recent years, the more likely we are to put off seeking medical advice. Let alone the large cuts to many public services and benefits which people relied on. After how my grandad died, I will always take it seriously if something health wise is worrying me, even if it's small. My grandad had a boil, he ignored it and it went away on its own so he thought it was fine. A few months later, it came back and mutated into something far worse, in the end without sharing the horrible details, he was basically poisoned from the inside and eventually caused heart failure after a few weeks in hospital, he died and on Christmas Day as well, so we'd never forget in my family! He would probably still be here, had he gone to the doctor quickly. He was barely 60, so didn't even get to retire! This was over 20 years ago. Point is, don't worry how what others think, if your body is trying to tell you something, don't ignore it! A small problem doesn't have to become a big one, if you seek help! That's what the doctor is there for!
There have been so many times that doctors blew my symptoms off, and even never really looked at me. I finally got a good primary care who listens, but my history made it difficult for me to say what my body was doing. So I started making a list in advance and take it with me. This helped me a lot, my anxiety didn't make me forget to report something. And I have to remind them that my elevated heart rate is a symptom of my anxiety disorder and given some time I can bring my own heart rate down given some unrushed time. I have both mental and physical disabilities, and getting health care professionals to believe I know the difference in my own mind and body can be enormously frustrating. But welcome to the US health care system.
I literally just talked in therapy about my anxiety about an upcoming doctor appointment to go over some blood work results, specifically my anxiety that I would be told to lose weight or that my symptoms are all in my head. I needed this video.
Wonderful message. I am 30 years old and signed up for an autism assessment a few days ago. I had these thoughts for years before making that phone call and it's like they are on blast right now, the days following the call. Thank you so much for putting this out there. I can't express my gratitude or how helpful this video is.
I can definitely relate to the "I can just soldier on through my pain/symptoms because it's not that bad" mentality, even though it is by any real standards bad. I think this is made worse by the trauma of being constantly told while I was growing up "others have it worse, so you can't complain / your issues aren't important enough".
Oh, this is my life. Signed person who suffered 10+ years waiting for doctors to diagnose me with Crohn's and Hypermobility and PKD and turns out I'm probably neurodivergent as well 😅 when you've spent your whole life having everything go wrong it's extremely hard to know when something is wrong enough that you need a doctor. Especially if you get rushed to hospital only to be told that you're fine (reader, she was not fine) which only gives you even more of a complex about wasting everyone's time.
Misdiagnosed for 54 years was fun. Sjogrens is not hard to diagnose; I was simply female and that made it impossible. I literally figured it out myself and had it confirmed.
As far back as I can remember I couldn't get my arms over my head, had chronic fatigue and cried in pain every day. I thought I was just a lazy baby and was punished for my crying" tantrums". My parents say that I didn't have the" vocabulary" to make them think I needed medical help. I know there has to be tons of kids out there slipping through the cracks like this. Everything you talked about was really well said.
It helps to see that there's so many of us with so many different conditions struggling with medical gaslighting. It took me over 2 decades, possibly closer to 3, to get my ME diagnosis - something to thank COVID for, medical profession becoming a lot more aware and accepting of post viral fatigue conditions.
This is such an important message, thank you for delivering it so eloquently. I suffered for decades with depression because I assumed that since was able to function, I couldn't be depressed, I just needed to toughen up. Also, my symptoms seemed to be intermittent, so it couldn't be serious. I finally decided to try antidepressants, and it worked magic for me. I realised that the times before when I thought I was happy, I was actually just less depressed. If you're reading this and can't decide whether you're depressed or "just a crybaby", let me say that it doesn't matter: crybabies deserve mental health too!
This video couldn't have found me at a better time. Yesterday all of my joints ached enough that I couldn't go out or do much, and this has happened a few times within the past few months. I have Celiac Disease, and it could be that, but now I am motivated to talk to a doctor about this because it is a more recent development in my life than Celiac Disease.
Every time I hear about physical disabilities I am hit with how much it applies to me with my autism and how relatable it is. People are so adamant to erase us and claim that it's not a disability, for the same reason some people don't like the word autism either : they're ableist. Hearing about other disabilities is not only very educational and eye-opening, it's also affirming for me as a disable person to feel like my struggle is real and valid.
Thank you for this video. I just started the process of hopefully getting at least some of my physical symptoms addressed, and this is a good reminder that I don't just have to suffer and deal with them just because of transphobia and aphobia in the medical system, or medical professionals not listening to me, or me not thinking I'm sick enough to deserve help. Thank you for the reminder that even those of us who don't feel like we are sick or disabled or in pain enough deserve care too.
6:45 to 7:42 - Korin's story (Miscarriage, fainting, frequent cardiovascular physical exercise; later diagnosed with bradycardia, which is a lower-than-typical heart rate)
Redheads wearing green velvet is an absolutelt unbeatable combo
I'm a ginger and it's my favorite color
Indeed
Sapphire blue is also a good one.
Eveeytime a redhead wears green an angel gains its wings
@@BeomgyusToeHair I love this. Basically all of the sweaters I have are green.
The phrase 'It's all in your head' is very interesting, because they act like your head is detached from the body and thus not effected by anything in it. When in fact it is a part of your body. A very important one. Almost as if it's the control center.
It always makes me want to say "so what if your arm is broken, it's all in your arm" like, of course it's all in my head, that's where my brain is😭
It's maddeningly, for both physical issues and mental ones. Yes, my depression is all in my head, that's where the brain with all the trauma is! Yes, I'm extremely heat sensitive because I have autism, but I'm not fainting "to prove a point" I'm fainting because the heat sensitivity makes me PHYSICALLY sensitive to HEAT 😅 ffs!
@@doctorwholover1012 fainting to prove a point 😭😭 where do doctors even come up with this? They should be writing fanfiction
Functional Neurological Disorder to a T. 'It's all in your head' (something sufferers get dismissed with a lot). I mean... yeah? That is kinda the point? It is a nervous system software issue, that doesn't mean it doesn't exist, or is any less debilitating than a hardware breakdown.
If your PC hard drive breaks, it stops working. If Windows crashes, it also stops working. You need both of them.
@macgirl1234 deadass it's like saying "you're just bleeding out to prove a point, your broken arm is all in your arm, so you should still be able to walk on your legs!" Like HELLO????
For everyone suffering with health issues: it's ok to TAKE UP SPACE. You deserve to be heard and taken seriously, no one deserves shame or suffering for what your body is going through.
Thank you
Jessica is so right about having multiple diagnosis’. My wife’s Dr. kept upping her diabetes meds when her numbers starting going all over the place. She kept telling the Dr. that it was not her diabetes. My wife manages it quite well with diet and her regular medications. The Dr. would not consider that it was anything but Diabetes. She was not listened to, so she went to a different doctor.
The new Dr. examined her and was like “How long have you had this goiter?” News to us. She ordered a scan, then a biopsy. Biopsy showed it was thyroid cancer. She had her thyroid taken out.
All is well, it was caught before it spread.
If she would have not changed doctors who knows how long it would have taken for that first Dr. to realize it was cancer. If something is going on with your body, please get it checked out. ❤
I'm so glad that new doctor gave her the care she needed and deserved. If there's a system for you to lodge a complaint with her old doctor, I would highly recommend you informing them that the symptoms her doctor dismissed were due to cancer.
@@lizard3755We did send a letter of complaint to her and to the headquarters of her practice as well as leave an online review. We never heard anything back from them, but we did find out she retired a couple of years after this happened.
Yes, so glad she's got the proper treatment! Wishing both of you great health 😊
I just got diagnosed with Lyme after 10 years of going through doctors with fevers and hearing everything from "air pollution" to "bad diet"....
Three weeks of antibiotics by now, and the last week is the best I've had outside of summers my whole adulthood 😮
It's so important to advocate for ourselves and to get second diagnoses.
@@haineko1989Sorry it took so long for you to get your diagnosis! Glad that you are feeling better. ❤
Me in bed in tears for hours now, because my uterus is tearing down its walls, having taken tylenol, naproxen natrium, heavy bleeding, changing pads every hour, in bed for 2 days, and having been told it's fine by both male and female doctors...I'm tiiiredd of medical gaslighting
❤
That sounds awful, I'm so sorry.
I am exactly the same- I’ve thrown up and passed out from the excruciating pain I experience on/around my period, but I’ve just been told to take ibuprofen and use a hot water bottle.
After extremely painful periods since shortly after I started having them, I cried in anger after experiencing period cramps after having surgery for endometriosis. I had cramps that ACTUALLY went away with pain medicine. I'd been literally drawing blood trying to distract myself from pain despite pain medicine while being told that what I experienced was "normal" and that "I was too sensitive" since I was 11 (I was in my late 20s by the time I had my surgery).
What I experienced post surgery was apparently "normal" and it was like I was experiencing a pin prick compared to my previous normal of being tortured for a couple of days a month.
I'm sharing because when people hear, "I am in a lot of pain," they often think that you are talking about my post-surgery level pain rather than my pre-surgery period pains. Your experience isn't normal, and it would have helped me to have someone validate that.
Also, a hormonal IUD made me stop having periods (doesn't happen for everyone), and that has felt like a wonderful gift.
I hope you can get some help.
Same, but I haven't been to the doctor yet, because I'm searching for one that is known to take pain seriously
*TW Graphic Content* When I was 32, I was driving my mom in my big, bouncy truck, and she was stiffening at every bump, then at one particular dip at an intersection, she grasped at her breast and audibly cried out. After asking her each time earlier if she was okay, this time, I sternly said "Mom, WHAT is wrong??" She played it off and said she was just a bit sore. When we got back to her house, she took me all the way into the back bedroom and closed the door (no one else was even home) and told me, "Now. I'm going to show you something, but you CAN'T tell your sisters (I have 3)." She proceeded to pull down her bra fabric to reveal some medical gauze pads that were stained black. Pulling those aside she revealed a large, blackish, open sore on her breast that was oozing. I was *horrified* that she hadn't been to the doctor, and kind of a little bit maybe yelled at her gently that it needed care, then helped her make appointments and get the proverbial ball rolling. She had stage 3 metastatic breast cancer, but literally "didn't want to bother anyone." I still believe that she would have lived had she sought treatment sooner. Please, PLEASE don't do this to your loved ones. Take care of yourselves - we ARE worth it, we are NOT being too much, and we DESERVE competent, compassionate CARE.
I’m so sorry that happened. ❤
I'm so sorry, I'm glad she listened to you because at least it would have given her time to prepare, even if treatment ended up not being able to give her more time.
Not as dire as that, but my grandma struggled a lot with mobility in her last 10 years, but wouldn't use a mobility aid even when her doctor recommended it.
She'd fall, and get hurt, and every time my heart clenched as I worried about how badly she was hurt. But she refused help getting around and refused help getting back up, and refused to be assessed by a medical professional after her falls or because of them.
Having been a horrified loved one who was affected by Grandma's lack of using a mobility aid, I didn't fight it when at 37 a hospital PT told me I needed one.
I still wish my grandma had put aside her pride and used a mobility aid. There was a lot she wanted to do together but couldn't because she refused any aid.
That's heartbreaking that she didn't want to "bother" anyone. I grew up in a family like this. I often heard, "Don't be a baby! Walk it off!" If they had taken me to the doctor they might have found out that I have a connective tissue disorder. But maybe not.
Very similar experience for my sister's mother in law. Just kept filling it with gauze and covering it with loose jumpers
My brother with severe ADHD garnered the lion's share of attention when we were growing up. Me? I was called lazy. A day-dreamer. Dramatic. Turned out I also had ADHD (just presented like a girl), chronic fatigue, amemia, endometriosis, PCOS, and a bunch of other things. I tried to tell my parents and doctors what was happening but I was called an attention seeker. I gave up. I just masked, shut down, and tried to muddle through on my own. Ended up with anxiety and depression and other issues. After many years, I finally heard the "self advocate" mantra enough to push for help. They still almost missed my uterine and ovarian cancer but I was pushy as hell! And that's hard for me. I don't people and I certainly don't doctor well. I had to jump through some unconventional hoops to be heard, but I got there. Just celebrated one year of no cancer. I still have a ton of issues but major cancer surgery actually fixed several other things. Keep looking until you find a doctor who listens. ❤
Hell, yeah! Good for you for advocating for yourself even though it was hard!! 🥰 I'm proud of you!
It’s frightening to think of how many others fell through the cracks because they didn’t or couldn’t speak up. But Congratulations for advocating for yourself!! We, as women really need to learn to do this. I’m so happy you made it!!
Me when my old doctor told me I have symptoms but not "enough" for PTSD
What the heck?? So sorry. ❤
I feel like I'm in the same situation. I hope soon we can both get proper care.
Medical gaslighting is so awful, I'm sorry you went/are going through that. Sometimes doctors can't seem to see past their own prejudices enough to bring themselves to diagnose someone with a condition THAT THEY HAVE and believe that they're doing you a "favor" for not "labeling you" :///
That sucks, I’m sorry. I hope ‘old’ in your comments means ‘former’ and that you have better care available to you now
That is so dumb doctors are dumb sometimes 🤦🏻♂️
When actual MEDICAL PROVIDERS just blow off your symptoms so much, you really start to feel like your pain isn't real. It can feel like banging your head on a brick wall to keep asking for care and keep being told "oh you just need to exercise/lose weight/take vitamins" and get refused testing or imaging. Keep. Fighting.
THIS. I've been in the loop for over a year now after finally realizing that my symptoms weren't something that everyone experiences and I'm just handling them worse. I'm so tired but I can't stop. I gotta keep fighting.
This. Also something I did was do a ton of research on various herbal medicines and herbs, and made teas that mimic the chemicals of low dose medications for things like anxiety, menstral issues, etc. and seeing if they actually make a difference. I'm not at all saying ditch one type of medicine for another, or to do so willy nilly, but that sometimes doing this WITH RESEARCH AND ALL THE CAUTIONS can help you see if the issue is physical. If you feel different or better by adding helpful medicinal plants.
Luckily I have health providers now who help me a lot more, and who support a blend of traditional western medicine and herbal medicine from various cultures and types of plants, making sure my meds and the herbs do not interract negatively. It personally works for me a lot as I am hypersensitive to most medicinal chemicals, and herbs tend to be far lower doses and less concentrated than official medications---and don't have artificial dyes, which I am allergic to.
Also as a female person in the US, I fear this medicinal information with herbs will soon be my only medication access.
"And also, drink more water!" Dark Jessica is really good at mimicking a lot of the people I get advice from
In a vacuum, generally good advice, but dismissive and disrespectful in context. Thanks for the reminder to drink more water 😉
You're discussions around invisible disability is how I found your channel, I can't express my gratitude enough for your advocacy, wisdom, and solidarity...Took 18 years for my eds diagnosis and I found a lot of solace in your videos for the past 7 years of this adventure in medical incompetence and stigmatization.
I’ve found a diagnosis to be incredibly affirming and life changing, but boy was it hard to come by! From one bendy zebra to another 🦓
Not me sitting here with fibromyalgia, cptsd, eds, autism, adhd, and currently seeing a neurologist to find out why my body just goes into spasms for days at a time.
Thanks for the video and being your wonderful self!
Feeeel this. I don't have spasms, but my issues including a lot of chronic pain, flare ups, and hypermobility "too little" to be EDS. Currently fighting to figure out what is wrong in my body so I can manage it without worrying I accidentally make it worse without knowing.
@@ErutaniaRose EDS is more than hEDS and other types of EDS are less hypermobile than hEDS and they have tests you can take. My mum got told she wasn't hypermobile enough and she was like "I'm nearly 50, of course I'm less hypermobile than when younger." and we still got both our diagnosis in the end.
I hope you can find what's causing your body to not work well!
Same here pain daily last diagnosis migraine in the body not head
@@tiadeetsis your pain daily seams the autism causes central sensitisation in heds
@Truerealism747 yes, some days more than others, but no days are pain free.
I had been dx’d with MS for 15 years and still didn’t believe I was sick “enough!” It took realizing I needed a cane to admit that all my “laziness” (not showering daily, not dressing in anything but jeans & tee, not cleaning the house, not LEAVING the house, etc) are my disease not my moral failing. Internalized ableism, capitalism, and misogyny are a helluva drug. 😢
❤
Currently at the process of diagnosis, waiting for my mri scans.. Apart from some obvious symptoms, i kept feeling like i'm 'just lazy' and just have 'low stamina because i don't move enough'. I struggle with sensory issues, i could live in t-shirt and leggings, keeping house clean is a struggle, especially when it comes to scrubbing and all the 'tiring' activities, stairs at workplace are a struggle i feel most ashamed of, when i'm out of breath after 1 level.. i sleep a lot which i also feel guilty of being called' an old lady'.
@ Fatigue is the worst! When our own brains go on strike, other people can’t see anything but our observable behavior (or lack thereof). Be kind to yourself. Good luck on your diagnostic journey. ❤️🩹
@@HollyOly Oh my god yes. This. I get called lazy a lot, and it's so hard to show other people what it's really like. I made a 0-10 tiredness scale that I gave to a lot of close friends/family, and I tell them what number I'm at. If anyone wants to make their own: you put down the things you are able to do at each level (I made up units of housework, as well as comfortable thresholds for part or full time work). Then you tell people where your normal range is, and hopefully they respect it
@ What a fantastic idea!!
gawd I feel like this all the time. always wondering "am I really ill or am I just being dramatic?"
Jessica nothing I can write here will sufficiently express how much the world needs your content. How much *I* need your content right now. Thank you.
“You can’t open jars! And there are good things in jars, so it might be worth considering that you do have EDS and seeking a diagnosis?”
I LOVE this quote both because it’s hilarious but because it also acknowledges that if what you’re experiencing causes you to enjoy life less no matter how “small” is worth investigating
As someone whose medical trauma is very much rooted in familial abuse (doctor father and nurse mother), I can heartily recommend to get a second, third, fourth or more recommendations and to talk about things with friends. Turns out it wasn't growing pains. Turns out I'm not just a lazy, flawed asshole.
Thankfully I have pain meds to lessen some of my symptoms now, but I still don't have any sort of diagnosis - turns out, having ADHD and EDS (at this stage, it's very unlikely to not be, and it took a long time to accept this) is not very conducive to getting a diagnosis in a system where you have to follow up and chase doctors for answers. If they take you seriously to begin with.
One very specific thing: doctors, especially gynaecologists REFUSING to do an internal scan, and doing an abdominal scan only, because I haven't had intercourse yet... I'm going to lie the next time if that's what it takes to do a proper check-up.
I'm 27 and never once felt like having sex, so for us on the ace spectrum, or being demi and not having found someone yet, we just don't get the opportunity. This is the Netherlands btw.
I called the clinic and they confirmed it was going to be an internal scan, went there, and the doctor refused. Even though i told her multiple times that I'm okay with doing an internal one, multiple times.
3 days ago, when i went to get an abdominal scan, because they were convinced it must be an inguinal hernia causing the pain. The hernia they couldn't find, just like my right ovary, it wasn't even visible, only the left ovary...imagine a person, male, missing their right ball, everyone would take that seriously, but when it's an ovary...no actions taken
I'm sorry that happened to you. Gynecological issues are a minefield when dealing with doctors. They're still inclined to be paternalistic and dismissive of patients reporting symptoms. You'd think female bodies were aliens with as hard as it is apparently everywhere to get a diagnosis. You're right; if you had a male body, it wouldn't have been as difficult for you, and that's too absurd to be so in this day and age.
i know someone who was diagnosed and treated for cervical cancer and she had never had intercourse either, its entirely possible and i hope you can find a medical professional that will give you the care you need!
I don't understand your Doctor it shouldn't matter if you've had intercourse or not. It's the better diagnostic tool it's the one that should be used. By the way internal scans if it's the cervix where they put the probe it's not as uncomfortable as having a pap smear. If they need to do it rectally it is more uncomfortable but still not that bad. Especially as it's not that long that they have to do the scan. I hope you can find a Doctor who's willing to do what is necessary to get you diagnosed.
@@KatjeKat86They refuse to do the internal scan on virgins because they think doing the exam will take your virginity. Never,ind that virginity doesn’t even biologically exist, it’s just a social concept…
Can you please do a sequel to this covering how to deal with medical fatigue after you've started the diagnosis process? My illness started a bit over 2 years ago, and I only recently got a tentative/incomplete diagnosis. I've nearly given up on doctors appointments because I'm simply too exhausted to keep digging
Seconding this, as if figuring out what the problem is isn’t hard enough, no that’s only the beginning. Doing something about it is so daunting and huge a lot of the time. Like, with what energy?
@@Oakleaf012 this is me right now. I am choosing to "suffer" through my perimenopause because this. It's a huge cycle because my perimenopause affects my mental and physical energy levels each damn day.
Yes, this. It took me years to get diagnosed with endometriosis. I'm pretty sure I have POTs and even just 4 months into the process of various doctors and appointments and tests and I'm already questioning whether it is even worth the energy to keep going since there's no treatment anyway.
@@user-su4re3zt4w I'm not sure if there isn't treatment available where you live, but there are definitely ways to treat POTS! The Australian POTS foundation website has a list of some options listed on their "living with POTS" page (you have to scroll down a fair way).
I feel you on the medical fatigue though. I try to space out appointments, and sometimes prioritise social things and time in nature (even just outside my house), because I know they bolster my mental health, which needs to be good enough to withstand the doctors and medication changes and stuff. Realising that (as much as I can bear it) I should try to build a good life in the unwell rather than spending ALL of my energy on desperately trying to climb out of it... it's helped me to stay a bit sane.
Yes, please please please! I've been dealing with my symptoms for decades at this point and have serious trouble trying to motivate myself to try to solve them (or even get a diagnosis) when I have workarounds that mostly work. Yes, they restrict my life a lot, but they're reliable and so easy to fall back on instead of investing effort in a problem that has proved mysterious and intractable.
Just because you are functioning does not mean you are well. Everyone says “health is wealth” etc but also say “don’t worry about it it’s all in your head” took me 12 years before getting an endo diagnoses, manieres, adhd, and optical migraines. Woot! Our bodies go through things and deserve respect.
The fun thing about "health is wealth" under capitalism is that it really means "health is survival" 💀 being denied healthcare is even *more* dangerous.
For years (5 years) doctors dismissed my mom's concerns about anomalies in her breasts as "dense breasts" or similar despite mammograms. One day mom ended up in the ER with severe and sudden illness the primary doctor previously diagnosed as bronchitis and inflammation of the galbaldder, the xray tech aligned the machine to get the bottom of the rib cage and captured the edge of a breast tumor. Stage 3C. 30 days later mom had a double mastectomy and the cancer advanced to stage 4. We didn't delay seeking care, but mom was regularly discarded by medical professionals that didn't bothered. "it's dense breasts, lose weight and exercise more" was all they kept saying.
We're a few years later, mom has been kicked off marketplace insurance and florida medicaid and likely she'll be booted off medicare next early year.
Fighting for mom the last few years made me go back and revisit my prior diagnoses and illnesses out of fear my doctors failed to properly investigate the problem.
I think every single thing your "evil little voice in your head" persona said is something I've said to myself before. Thank you so much for this video.
For real, except "drink more water" because that's never a thought that occurs to me 😅
My most heard one "just loose weight" Eventually a cardiology test found a small scar from a minor infarc.
OMG REAL I've been having HORRIBLE symptoms of reflux since January and a doctor told me to lose 60kg in three months. ok cool
That is one of my deep fears, that my loved ones will die because doctors dismiss their systems, just because they are fat. I am glad you found care.
As someone who has been told this by doctors, once even while i was pregnant and obviously carrying pregnancy weight, i feel terrible for anyone else who has had legitimate medical issued waved away wiht this statement.
I honestly feel like this is why it took me over a decade to finally learn that I had rheumatoid arthritis almost 3 years ago, or why it took my mom worrying that my appendix was rupturing to get diagnosed with PCOS
@@asterisk5054what?? That sounds incredibly unsafe! metric!).
Wondering if I'm actually mentally ill or just not traumatized enough to qualify is such a wild feeling
I feel you ❤
Not at expert at all, but I don't think mental illness _has_ to stem from trauma. I would think you could have an awesomely positive life and your brain chemistry just does different things.
An important reminder from a mental health counselor in training, some people go to therapy for “normal” life adjustment difficulties or things like stress (not talking about a stress disorder, just “normal” stress). You don’t have to even be mentally ill to seek care, but if you end up getting a diagnosis at the end of an intake, then yay you got what you wanted and can continue to get *more care* everyone wins!
I was just diagnosed with ankylosing spondylitis. I had been dealing with pain for over 10 years. It's nice to finally have a name to my pain.
I ignored severe inflammation in my joints for weeks until my mom told me it wasn't normal, after a small odyssey through doctors and clinics, I now have a diagnosis of rheumatoid arthritis. I was 28 when it started, and I am just so thankful that my doctor took me seriously.
God, so much this. I have diagnoses, but I do the whole thing where I don't feel disabled enough to apply for government assistance.
Side note, LOVE the bangs!
After being told it's all in my head when my wrist bone was dying, when I seeked my autism and adhd diagnosis, when I had lost lung capacity because of covid and so on, I got a few great diagnosis that helped. Only to tell my doctor three days ago that I have shortness of breath when I go up the stairs or do certain physical activities and him to have the AUDACITY to tell me maybe I have "stairs related trauma" and that's why I feel faint. I have to fight every doctor for every single thing even after being proven right like with my hand. If I hadn't found one doctor to listen to me I would have lost the bone and hand function, they literally diagnosed me as the bone had a paper thin outer layer and was all dead inside, another year and my wrist would have collapsed. I had to fail university 4 times and literally cry because I just can't do the stuff I want to do to 3 psychiatrists and 2 doctors before I was given the order to get an adhd assessment and finally get meds. It sucks being told it's anxiety because you express worry over your symptoms to the person who is supposed to be trained in diagnosing and helping you as a patient.
I am now terrified by doctors. They are too often arrogant and narcissistic, and have too much power over you if they choose. They can ignore you or focus excessively on you, harming you either way. They call hypochondria 'somatoform disorder' now, at least in the US. I had a doctor absolutely trash my medical chart being two faced and ignoring what I told him I bodily felt. GP not a specialist or psych doc in any way...he put in his notes I had somatoform disorder and bipolar (when I complained that I wasn't being helped, naturally a complaint is a mood disorder in his mind? He'd seen me twice before that, in no way he saw enough for what he stated.). He refused to run more than the basic tests. Let me just say, you don't want to go to the ER with a psych condition on your chart, they will continue to gaslight that it's in your head. I couldn't eat due to pain, and have already had my entire colon removed prior to seeing him. He wanted to make me take a medication to increase appetite, and my refusal triggered him to act against me. My knee was locking up and I'd lost mobility. It wasn't in my head. However they put me in the hospital on a 72 hour hold. The psychiatrists concluded the other doctors were wrong and I didn't have a psych issue. DIdn't stop them from holding me against my will.
I ended up having knee surgery a month after when I switched hospital systems. I'm on a biologic (rinvoq) which fixed my inability to eat easily. But now I'm truly traumatized by doctors. They have TREMENDOUS power over you if they choose to mischaracterize your symptoms. It takes a huge labor to get them to correct their records if another doctor makes poor diagnoses. Other doctors shook their heads at his notes, and deleted them...but they're still there. An anesthesiologist added the psych conditions back after seeing me for 5 minutes before surgery...so had to get them removed again. I'm chronically ill and terrified going to the doctor.
I saw a craigslist ad once for a woman who wanted an intimidating biker type guy to come to her appointment and advocate for her. (She offered money in exchange, and stipulated they had to meet elsewhere first to make sure the dude in question knew what she needed to communicate.) I've never done this myself, but I can see the appeal. I hope you find a doctor who is actually trustworthy! You deserve it.
@@sarahwatts7152 Thank you for your kind words and very apt suggestion. I have been asking family to come with me. When my sister came, the doctor was dismissive. I had to beg, again, for the MRI that showed I needed surgery. He insisted I was probably fine. When my father came, I got fantastic attention. It's ridiculous. With some doctors, having a man there makes a huge, unnecessary difference.
So let me guess, you had possibly colon cancer that didn’t get taken seriously? That’s the worst! I’m guessing that’s why you had your colon removed, because when adults get their colon removed it’s usually caused by cancer. I don’t know what you had knee surgery for, it’s hard to guess because it’s a variety of health conditions that require knee surgery.
One thing you could do, depending on your country, is search for physician assistant (PA) or nurse practitioner (NP) providers instead of doctors (MDs). In my experience, they've been much easier to communicate with and willing to listen. They're also much more thorough in collecting patient history and physical exam. Doctors tend to do the minimum of everything and rush me out the door.
Thank you for permission to skip this video. ❤️ I've had a lot of awful experiences around the idea of being "ill enough", and while I do want to support your channel, this topic is a bit much for me.
I'm glad you protected yourself! That's really important, and something I struggle with sometimes (my gosh dang curiosity lol). Sending you love across the interwebs 💕
Jessica, I love you and your content, but one huge thing you've missed here (and in some other videos around these topics) is body size. Fat people, like myself, give up going to the doctor because doctors basically diagnose you as fat, tell you to lose weight, or try to bully you into bariatric surgery. Seriously, I've been to a doctor for a sinus infection, and because of my BMI, I got 20 min lecture about losing weight and they nearly forgot I had a sinus infection.Or how about the time I went to an endocrinologist to get a diagnosis for my PCOS, but then was told I had PCOS because I was fat and that I'd be better off starving myself to lose weight. Oh, and the gynecologist who was bullying me to get bariatric surgery while she had her hands in me just to check my IUD. It took me 4 times telling her "I don't want to talk about that. It's not what I came for!" and being in tears before she stopped (I actually reported this one, but of course, nothing happened). And then there's pretty much every doctor that assumes you're going be non-compliant because you're fat so you must be stupid and have no self-discpline (which then usually brings things around to bariatric surgery again). Or not being able to get any surgeries that would help you get out and move more or even fix a disability because you're too fat or they don't have mobility equipment because you're too big or the equipment costs hundreds or thousands more. So yeah, everything you talked about in this video becomes a million times harder if your BMI is anything over 25. (Generally, but you get the idea...)
❤ relatable
It’s so true and completely ridiculous and dangerous this happens. My body weight fluctuates a lot, I’ve been fat, I’ve been skinny, everything in between and rarely have I done much to cause it, it’s just part of my disabilities, but the treatment from health care professionals when I’m fat or even just a little bit chubby, it’s as if I’m worthless and stupid and did this to myself on purpose and my concerns are all dismissed. When I’m thin they take my concerns seriously (if at all, but more likely to). Really weird and uncool.
When I turned 50, I went in for standard blood work and my Dr. was visibly upset that all my results were in the normal range. He even commented that my cholesterol was lower than his. I still got the “lose weight” talk.
I got the other way, "eat a bit more chocolate and put on 2 or more kilograms". Anything to easily get out of making more tests.
But damn, the rate at which overweight people get ignored until they either lose weight or have a serious complication is insane 😢 Yes, it's better to be slimmer, but some people just can't upkeep it, for various reasons, and the illness in question should be treated anyway. I think the medical gaslighting is about as huge as with all the misogyny out there, really don't envy you how much you need to advocate for yourself. Best wishes to you 🤞
one of the symptoms of PCOS is weight gain and struggles with losing it. gotta love how people will ignore basic knowledge about their field just so they can know-it-all their way out of doing their job
Long covid sufferer here. Excited to watch this
Got told in a clinics department for vision aids (where they prescribe magnifying glasses and special reading glasses for people with low vision) that I should be grateful I still have 20% vision in my non blind eye because "there's people that can't see at all" still salty
Chronic pain (and more, because there's always more) for twenty years here, and only recently with a new doctor and losing yet another job to it and the fatigue, have I been taken seriously. Now stuck in referral limbo and an NHS waiting list so long they didn't even give me an estimated time scale for an appointment. Your next video may well be helpful with the next stage of this journey, because this one has all the things in it that I had to do to be taken seriously this time around. It's exhausting having to advocate for yourself when you're ill and least able to fight.
I love how Jess always has a "bad guy/ignorant" character to highlight how silly the arguing is❤
It's cathartic to hear her shut them down, too!
Yes! Every time she piped up, I snapped "Shut up, Phyllis!" (Phyllis is what I've named my internal critic 😂Sorry to any real Phyllises who are probably lovely people!)
Hi, closeted gay teenager here. I just wanted to say thank you, to both of you but Claudia especially. I look different from all the kids around me, and I dress different, I’m constantly bombarded with “wear dresses more” “if you wore dresses more…” “you’d be so pretty of you wore this…” and idk but seeing Claudia dress how she wants, look how she wants and still be happy and confident in her beauty, it’s just…wow. Maybe I do deserve love. Maybe I do look beautiful. So, thanks. For showing me what confidence is.
❤
You do deserve love! Stay strong 💕🏳️🌈
Thanks, I really needed that today, sometime it’s hard to believe you deserve love
I just spent over a month of denying how bad of an UTI and kidney swelling I had, because it happens all the time. This time, though, I was the lucky winner of the "You get to have a one week stay in the hospital" sweepstakes. Not only that, the only bed available for me at the time was in the neuro ward. This meant that my attending physician not only did not understand how painful "just" a UTI can be (especially with renal swelling), but it also meant that he had no true knowledge on how to treat acute breakthrough pain with a patient who already has a diagnosis of chronic pain. All of this lead to him denying me pain relief that took better care of both kinds of my pain than just my typical meds could do (because I wasn't just experiencing acute or chronic pain, but both), because I wasn't asking for my typical meds...that weren't working on all my pain, which is why I went to the ER in the first place. He then "graciously" (re: he was a total a$$ about it) gave me a weaker pain med, that sorta helped, but not entirely. THEN he took me off the new medication, because apparently there can be issues of it causing kidney damage. Need I remind you, I was in the hospital for not only a MASSIVE UTI, but a massive UTI that causes renal swelling, which can cause kidney damage. So, I was left with the medication I usually take, but knew it wouldn't help with the acute pain I was in, so it wasn't helping either my acute pain nor my typical pain.
He also made a heartless joke during team rounding on Friday about how it's the weekend, so he's going home, and then pointedly said, "but you can't." Tasteless, cruel, unprofessional, and traumatizing. I already have a great deal of medical PTSD, so I was trying to mask and work with my triggers, but that meant that when something frustrated or made me feel "less than" I could no longer control the panic attacks that kept coming. This is the second time I have been hospitalized in that particular hospital for exactly the same thing (only difference was this one responded to typical antibiotics, and the other time it was a MDR strain), and both times came with a terrible experience. I refuse to return there, unless I have no other options.
Sorry for the diatribe, this is all still so fresh in my mind. I discharged only 5 days ago.
❤ I hope you are feeling better
@@jennifers5560 thank you so much, that's very kind of you. Thankfully I am on the mend. It may take ne a little while longer to bounce back than most people would, but I'm lucky enough to have an amazing support system that will help get me through this. I hope you have a lovely day!
That's appalling, and I am so sorry! You deserve to be listened to and respected by the system that's supposed to help you! 🤬 fuck that doctor in a bad way.
Doctors are trained in anatomy and physiology regardless of which specialty they choose later. They are fully aware of just how painful kidneys can become and know that something as "mild" as passing a kidney stone can feel as painful as childbirth (but may take much longer). Such intense inflammation in and around the kidney should feel just as bad, if not worse. This is common knowledge in the medical profession.
In other words, he wasn't cruel out of ignorance but out of intention.
I'm so sorry about your experience and hope you never have to experience kidney pain or that hospital again.
@@residentialpsycho1075 Thank you for your assessment of the situation, and your very kind words. It feels validating to know someone outside of the situation can see how harmful this sort of inaction can be.
As someone that has been struggling with physical symptoms for around 4 years now and been told that im just hyper mobile and weak. Don’t do what I did, keep fighting and don’t let your doctors convince you that you are fine when you are not. You know your body better than they do, they can’t tell you what you are feeling.
My family doctor here in Canada refuse to diagnose me with two things. One I have ADHD he told me women do not. He also said that I got to the age of 45, then I am fine. So you’ve lost some weight he says after I went in with an application 😢 disorder clinic after being diagnosed with anorexia. But I have to be thankful because here in Nova Scotia there are no family doctors and if you have one, you are lucky.
I'm so sorry you had to go through all that. My mom was convinced I had ADD from the time I was fairly young, but because I didn't have behavioral issues at school and got all my work completed my teachers all said I was fine. When I had to start seeing a psychiatrist for what was originally thought to be depression, he confirmed that my mom was right and I did have ADD. I struggled with disordered eating starting in fourth grade until I was a sophomore in high school and was receiving proper treatment for my mental health problems that were the underlying cause. I'm very fortunate to have not had any severe or lasting effects, but having my first therapist basically dismiss me when I tried to talk to her about it was so discouraging and set me back in a lot of my recovery efforts.
Oufff I am so sorry to hear that😢 I am also from NS and completely get it, our healthcare system is an absolute train wreck
Getting an actual diagnosis can be very challenging for anyone these days, sadly. It's always great to see people raising the awareness on that, thank you for contributing to positive changes being made for everyone. 10 years + of struggling with bad female health issues here, 5ish years to trying to get a basic health check for it in the UK other than a nurse touching my stomach and announcing there can't be anything wrong there since she can't feel anything wrong with her fingers, etc. Happy to prescribe a 5th type of pills and wish me luck with them though. It can be so hard not to question the validity of what I'm experiencing even though it's the sort of pain and issues Ik well can't be normal. It's always good to hear at least when somebody else has actually managed to get the help they need. Hopefully things can be better for everybody one day.
Thank you for making and sharing this! I think this video should also be shared with military veterans. Too many of them feel they just need to "suck it up and soldier on" without realizing how much stress and sadness it brings their loved ones.
As someone who had a stroke recently at age 32, I implore everyone who doubts their symptoms to seek help.
I have type 1 diabetes and basically that exact story happened to me! But the doctor who told me my symptoms were just stress also had type 1, which makes the medical gaslighting even more unbelievable. Always listen to your body first
The thing is hypochondria is more easily treated than chronic fatigue! It would actually be better, I am really suffering. I keep seeing doctors but, still can't find a cure for my chronic fatigue.
Look into thyroid conditions! I went over a decade wondering if I had chronic fatigue and was talked out of it by family and doctors. If Id gotten help the first time, it wouldve been easily treatable. But I instead got diagnosed after I started going through the final stages of hypothyroidism.
Thyroid conditions are treatable, and easy to check for. If they refuse to test, ask them to document the refusal and make sure to mention that you'll need that printed for your documentation at home. ;) suddenly you could *totally* get some bloodwork done.
If you have chronic fatigue, Im afraid most conditions with that symptom can only be managed and relieved, but not cured. The earlier they find the source, the better your chances of feeling back to normal. You just might have to get a pill organizer if you dont already have one.
I have autoimmune issues, and fatigue comes along with it. Chronic fatigue and chronic pain have a source. I am so sorry that they dismiss it as all in your head. Do they forget the head is part of the body, and perhaps dismissing it as essentially a personal failing of the patient is cruel? Yes, yes they do. It comes down to it being easier to dismiss female patients in particular as emotional than to do the work if they don't immediately understand the cause.
@@Moraca101 my TSH is 3.4, I have had hyper and hypothyroidism in the past, it isn’t that this time!
I have a really weird relationship with my chronic illness disabilities because I grew up being told there was nothing wrong with my by my parents and then when the depression kicked off the snowball downwards of health issues, mainly mental health at the time, I was treated like I was just acting up
But then when I would go out seeking diagnoses once I was an adult and able to schedule doctors visits myself, I started getting a lot of immediate response because yeah something very clearly was wrong. Even when I had the 1 thing that was a long diagnosis progress, it was because I didn't have the typical presentation for it - PCOS but without a single cyst which is just hilarious considering it's a condition with cyst in the name - and then I got the diagnosis because I responded to treatment and my doctor was the best - love her so much
but then I got an autism diagnosis within like 30 minutes of talking about it to the doctor, going yeah I have a lot of stuff that I do even while feeling so uncomfortable because of my parents shaming me for expressing them, and then I got my disability application accepted without needing to appeal it which was basically the route you had to take in Ireland because so many disabled people were denied the first time and accepted on appeal, but I got accepted right away and that was before even more stuff came out about my health
but yet my family still has the underlying attitude that I'm not disabled because I'm not in a wheelchair - which I attribute in part to my father losing a leg about 15 years ago so that's kind of their view of disability, not me, the problem daughter whose disabilities often came out in the behaviour they hated when I was younger and this is my opinion after a few years of therapy, I don't think they can mentally combine the fact that all the behaviour they hated was symptoms of the disabilities I was not being treated for at the time and my seeking out a name for what was wrong with me wasn't actually funny but me knowing that there was something deeply wrong but no one could name it to me but I was still doing something WRONG and couldn't figure out why
Hi Jessica, thanks for the video. I had the little devil telling me for years nothing was wrong, but also the people around me. I was fat and needed to lose weight. Eat less even though I felt I was starving. Do more exercise even though I was exhausted. Get a hair removal treatment with laser that didn't work one bit, even after a year. I was then diagnosed, after about 10 years, with Cushings, a disease predominant in women much older than me. My operation was in 2020, and my microadenome, removed. My life significantly improved and I slowly got part of my self-confidence and energy back. I feel a bit like my life was partially wasted feeling miserable. And still is due to my extreme generalised anxiety, diagnosed 2 years ago.
But it wasn't the only issue I had.
Some people even don't believe my recent ADHD diagnosis ( i.e. my parents amongst others). And of course even though it's hereditary "they don't have it". I can't tell you how many times they forgot to pick me up from school. My mum and I also have autism symptoms, but for example the therapist I used to go to said "if I did have it it doesn't affect me enough to get a diagnosis". I am also scared of getting a diagnosis because there are countries where being autistic can be a reason for denying you entry or denying you a job... And my mum not getting help for her extreme anxiety "that she doesn't have" has led to me to distance myself from her. As well as her blunt, direct comments that (she doesn't see why) hurt me.
Got that off my chest, wow
As an AuDHD person self-diagnosis is valid too.
I'd love to see a collaboration with Footless Jo! She's a below the knee amputee and stroke survivor, among other things. She's in the U.S. so I think it would be interesting to hear about the differences and similarities in your experiences given the fact that youre in different countries, as well as differences in treatment when being treated as a single woman, a woman in a straight relationship, and a woman in a gay relationship.
Getting diagnosed with my Neurodivergencies is not accessible to me at this time, but honestly, seeing almost all of my favourite UA-camrs being diagnosed with either Autism or ADHD or both in the last 2 years has been massively validating.
Ive been having this struggle with a couple of things, especially with possible EDS. Especially since I've done gymnastics for SO many years of my life, its really easy to brush it off as "oh, of course I have tons of joint problems, I've done an intense sport for over a decade" and "oh, of course im flexible, gymnasts are meant to be flexible" (even though even my other friends in gymnastics can be a little freaked out by how flexible I can he). And on top of that, it feels like I'm simply not allowed to try getting a diagnosis, because its not like I CAN'T do things in my daily life. I'm just in pain when I try to do stuff, but that feels like a matter of needing to suck it up.
I feel like this video will be quite helpful, haha. 😅
I hope the health care system can actually help you even though you now know you’re not the only one feeling like isht. I think we are all being poisoned steadily.
That "need to suck it up" is *so* real 💀
you just gave me the courage to ask my mom for an official motoric tic disorder diagnose, and for that, *i'll be thankful frfr*
Not you articulating my deepest fear in the opening of your video 💀 it's so hard to accept that my experience isn't normal and I'm not weak for having trouble doing things that are easy for a lot of people. Why can I be compassionate toward others but not myself?
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The financial dread is what keeps me away from any diagnosis, or changing from a doctor I'm not fond of and seeking a new practice. Commenting for the algorithm - great video!
The relief of having a medical professional tell me that yes, yes I do have anxiety, and so much of it. Being believed and heard makes such a difference.
Even after more than a decade of working through my own mental health issues and supporting others with theirs, I still find things in your videos that I need to learn or get reminded of
Your work and presence is a present to this world
Your symptoms are valid. Always believe your body. I learned that after having my debilitating upper back pain written off by everyone for decades. Turned out it was asthma. FOR DECADES I COULDN'T BREATH PROPERLY. It took weeks of catastrophic bushfire smoke for anyone to start asking basic questions about lung function and finally work it out. Ugh.
This is good message here thank you. I’m currently in hospital hooked up to fluids after a week of scans and tests all coming back as totally normal but blood results suggesting things are not good and I wonder if it’s all in my head and just not trying hard enough. Our society has warped our brains to not take our health and physical condition seriously. And the shame of having time off sick and having to rationalise yourself to all the judges is crazy. Not to mention sickness demonisation of benefits lazy people in the media, how dare you be sick and not contribute to society?! It’s a much needed subject your covering
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My parents brushed everything off because one psychiatrist told them my back pain and migraines were because of my anxiety. It was always “in my head” and requests for appointments, braces, and mobility aids went ignored. These people had the balls to be hurt and angry I didn’t tell them I got hit by a car and that I didn’t ask to see the doctor until I was becoming physically sick from the pain. I hate when people say “it’s all in your head” to try and discount it.
You're not speaking to me -- I have no symptoms to report to anyone -- but videos like yours are super-important for people like me to watch. Without charming and engaging calls to action like this, it's too easy for us symptomless folks to make all the wretched assumptions you describe. The comments suggest that few symptomless people are engaging, but I fervently hope that others are watching, learning, and keeping shtum.
I was thinking about how I could explain my conclusions to my doctor, or even if I should bother, and then the universe plopped this video's notification in my lap. Ah, question answered. ❤
girl I love the bangs!!! ❤
Clicked on this video so fast. It was Jessica's channel that helped me realise that it was worth pursuing a diagnosis for myself, as I was really grappling with 'am I ill enough'. Thank you Jessica!
I'd like to share my reason for non seeking diagnosis for many years and it's kinda related to "it's all in your head"
"You're doing it because it's trendy!"
As a child my step-mom would dismiss anything she didn't like about me by saying it was "just a phase" (the phase was undiagnosed OCD) or I was "just doing it because it was trendy" and because of that I felt I had to be 100% certain that a label applied to me, otherwise it would be dismissed. I probably would have realized I was trans in highschool, but I refused to let myself explore pronouns because I was afraid I was just doing it to be trendy.
My ADHD cousin stayed with my family over quarantine. I wanted to know how to better accommodate him so I did a lot of research on neurodivergence. I found I related to a lot to those #Accutally Autistic videos and considered that I might be autistic, but I thought I wanted to be autistic for the trend so I refused to give myself accommodations that would have really helped me. It took another year and my mom pointing out all the signs I had to finally let myself say I'm autistic.
At the most difficult parts of my health journey not only did diversifying my care team, but also keeping a journal of symptoms and feelings to report back to each person in said care team was a huge help. This takes a lot of labor on the patient’s end, but it began filling in the gaps that the medical system could not provide for me. Also, it’s so interesting to me that so many of us experience the same sides of a problem: I don’t want to be a burden, I have to be capable always, I can’t let down the people who depend on me. I have so much compassion for people who have these feelings because it can be a lonely place to be when help is not sought after.
It's so much easier to be compassionate for others than ourselves! My new reframing is that I'm respecting and honoring those other people by being patient and gentle with myself, and keeping my compassion muscles strong 💕
Excellent. I also wish more people felt empowered to "fire" their doctor. Once I realized that things were much better for me. I've fired a few doctors over my lifetime and it's been a great decision each time because the quality of care increased dramatically. (I realize there are complications with this in areas with limited medical options, etc.)
The timing of this video is really helpful for me! I finally got around to making an appointment to talk to my doctor about some weird fatigue and things that I've been experiencing. The encouragement to really advocate for myself and not let my doctor just brush me off is really helpful!!
It took me 5 years to get a sleep study for excessive daytime sleepiness because my sudden sleeping while standing, eating, talking, etc was just because 'teenagers are always tired'. Then I stopped being a teenager and people started taking me seriously. Hopefully getting answers soon!
This one really speaks to me as someone with “mild” disabilities ❤️
And please: a good work-out plus enough sleep and water doesn't cure everything.
Everyone told me: nah just work out more at the gym
Reality: got a second heart issue and the training could have worsent everything.
Don't let others tell you that you're just lazx and find a doctor believing your words. This is the way better help for yozr body&soul/mind/psyche !
❤meow❤😻
Thank you Jessica for bringing this important topic up!❤❤❤
Years ago i watched your videos about your pots. It help me come to terms with my chronic back pain. This year i realized i have pots. Its has been hell.
Thank you so much for your validation Jessica❤ I’ve struggled with a chronic illness since I was 14, and it has been totally debilitating at times. I only recently accepted that having an illness that renders me unable to work or effectively live means I have a disability, and it’s been a really difficult journey. It’s been hard to get myself to take my symptoms seriously, and getting others to take them seriously has been impossible at times. Thank you for sharing your experience and reassuring us all that we aren’t crazy! Much love to you and your family ❤
Ive only known u from some posts that got suggested to me on my instagram fy page, I must say I’m very happy to have found your UA-cam channel now as well.
With all the drama in the world right now, your video’s have added a wholesome upbeatness to random stuff you like to talk about /or want to talk about.
I love bingewatching atm hahah
I have regular anaphylaxis and anaphylactic shocks "out of nowhere". Stress causes them, but it's not as simple as - stress leads to immediate anaphylaxis. It's complex in a a way, where sometimes I have them just straight up out of nowhere for me. I've had these since I was 11. Alongside a slew of other physical symptoms. Since I was a baby I was constantly sick, different illnesses, constantly puzzling medical providers.
Doctors were unable to find anything, blamed it on it being psychosomatic, told me to deal with it, even yelled at me.
I was in a allergologists wing in a hospital for two weeks as a teenager, they tested for everything but didnt find anything and started giving me cortisol just to throw something at it and then wouldn't listen when I was talking about the severe side effects that actually indicate to stop taking the drug.
Pain is a constant for me. My teeth are completely destroyed, I can't eat without pain, nerve pains, stomach pains, dysmenorrhoea, asthmatic symptoma, along with a lot of others.
My symptoms indicate it might be MCAS. And i have yet to be diagnosed because I'm pawned off from doctor to doctor because my physical issues are too complex.
Same thing was told to me by psychiatrists, as my mental disabilities are a whole other can of worms.
I was constantly told to just deal with it. That they cant save me from stress so theres nothing they can do. Etc.
I wanted to give up so many times and I did for years.
My medical trauma is giant.
But I keep fighting. Because its a doctor's job to help.
Go to a doctor. If your symptoms are bad enough or not, keep moving to get to know what's going on. Its your right to understand yourself. Dont give up.
Hell, yeah! It's so important to keep fighting and not give up. I'm proud of you! 🥰
I love my British creators, all of them are so real and upfront about themselves. My American ones are so worried about getting stalked etc
hiii! it’s the first video of you that i watched, and i subscribed immediately! i wanted to ask if you could cover how also being fat is stopping people from going to the doctor for their symptoms because of the fear of not being taken seriously and just blaming them being fat. it is happening to me (i identify as a small fat person), and it’s so frustrating and infuriating that my severe symptoms related to my menstrual cycle that i have been having for years, even when i was thinner, are blamed on my weight. during my high school years i suffered from an ED and suggesting that i should lose weight is not just lazy medicine but also dangerous, especially for people who had/have an ED.
anyway, thank you so much for speaking out about this issue!!! and the “devil” talking was like hearing my own brain LOL
Thank you for this video. I've been waiting to see a rheumatologist for 6 months, after years of visiting countless different doctors about my chronic fatigue and joint pain. I've been told my physical symptoms are only due to vitamin deficiencies and my mental health diagnosis, and that I'm too young to be having the symptoms I'm reporting, for so long. And even when I received a positive result for an autoimmune disorder, I was told it was a low positive so it's most likely inaccurate. Having to stress to doctors that sometimes my joint pain makes it impossible to move and causes my hips, knees, and ankles to give out and cause falls. And that I physically cannot wake up some mornings and am LITERALLY FALLING ASLEEP STANDING UP. Has been so exhausting. But I'm so grateful I kept fighting for them to take me seriously. Hopefully I'll have some answers to what my exact illness is soon. And I'm so proud of myself for not giving up! Your health matters! So please, if you're in a situation like me, don't give up either. We all deserve to get the help we need💓💓💓
There are specific types of youth arthritis that exist, so saying you're too young for arthritis symptoms is BS, autoimmune diseases can occur at any age! And seronegative rheumatoid arthritis exists too. Glad you're getting treatment now!
Idk if Jessica or anyone else has a video on this. But, I’d love to hear more about HOW to advocate for yourself in a medical setting. I have Autism, ADHD, and selective mutism and I have a very hard time getting across to my doctor my symptoms or just how bad they are.
For example I asked about a month ago about getting my ADHD meds adjusted because they weren’t working anymore (i could literally take them then sleep for 8 hours) this is a common experience for me where ADHD meds will work for sometime then kind of stop working. My dr said that I probably just wasn’t noticing how well they were working and that if I stopped taking them for a few days I would notice and miss them. To no ones surprise, I’ve tried that and no, I don’t miss them. (This is not to mention that even if my meds were working a little bit, that doesn’t mean I don’t deserve to have medication that’s more effective. It’s not just a works or does not work situation).
Jessica did a talk at a conference that they posted about this topic.
ua-cam.com/video/m_Xbfeie0TE/v-deo.htmlsi=5-KfcYmSgnwKxa0w
The part where she asks people to check in on their body is really good…
I have been leaking from my ear for 6 months after getting a tube in an ear and didn't think it could be a cranial spinal fluid leak because I was under a misapprehension that I would have felt like I was dying if that were true. I'd had tubes when I was 6 prior to that and really wasn't sure it was like that then too. I was just feeling wet and gross. It hasn't gotten worse really, but after my friend begged me to go back and check with the doctor. Turns out I was wrong and now may have to have neuro surgery to patch it up as well the potential for really bad headaches going forward. Don't be like me. Just get it checked out. I am 44.
I've finally been going to doctors and trying to find whats wrong with me, so many tests that "came back clean' just for me to find out 2 days ago they did NOT come back clean. My suffering wasn't in my head. Thank you for making this video, it truly does help.
Very solid advice in this video. I sometimes wonder if how most of us dismiss the many minor health problems we face is why this country is so sick now. The worse the waiting lists have got at the NHS in recent years, the more likely we are to put off seeking medical advice. Let alone the large cuts to many public services and benefits which people relied on. After how my grandad died, I will always take it seriously if something health wise is worrying me, even if it's small. My grandad had a boil, he ignored it and it went away on its own so he thought it was fine. A few months later, it came back and mutated into something far worse, in the end without sharing the horrible details, he was basically poisoned from the inside and eventually caused heart failure after a few weeks in hospital, he died and on Christmas Day as well, so we'd never forget in my family! He would probably still be here, had he gone to the doctor quickly. He was barely 60, so didn't even get to retire! This was over 20 years ago. Point is, don't worry how what others think, if your body is trying to tell you something, don't ignore it! A small problem doesn't have to become a big one, if you seek help! That's what the doctor is there for!
There have been so many times that doctors blew my symptoms off, and even never really looked at me. I finally got a good primary care who listens, but my history made it difficult for me to say what my body was doing. So I started making a list in advance and take it with me. This helped me a lot, my anxiety didn't make me forget to report something. And I have to remind them that my elevated heart rate is a symptom of my anxiety disorder and given some time I can bring my own heart rate down given some unrushed time. I have both mental and physical disabilities, and getting health care professionals to believe I know the difference in my own mind and body can be enormously frustrating. But welcome to the US health care system.
I literally just talked in therapy about my anxiety about an upcoming doctor appointment to go over some blood work results, specifically my anxiety that I would be told to lose weight or that my symptoms are all in my head. I needed this video.
Wonderful message. I am 30 years old and signed up for an autism assessment a few days ago. I had these thoughts for years before making that phone call and it's like they are on blast right now, the days following the call. Thank you so much for putting this out there. I can't express my gratitude or how helpful this video is.
This video will save LIVES!
I can definitely relate to the "I can just soldier on through my pain/symptoms because it's not that bad" mentality, even though it is by any real standards bad. I think this is made worse by the trauma of being constantly told while I was growing up "others have it worse, so you can't complain / your issues aren't important enough".
Oh, this is my life. Signed person who suffered 10+ years waiting for doctors to diagnose me with Crohn's and Hypermobility and PKD and turns out I'm probably neurodivergent as well 😅 when you've spent your whole life having everything go wrong it's extremely hard to know when something is wrong enough that you need a doctor. Especially if you get rushed to hospital only to be told that you're fine (reader, she was not fine) which only gives you even more of a complex about wasting everyone's time.
Thank you, Jessica, for encouraging us to advocate for ourselves and for our symptoms to be taken seriously!
Jessica with bangs is too powerfull!
Misdiagnosed for 54 years was fun. Sjogrens is not hard to diagnose; I was simply female and that made it impossible. I literally figured it out myself and had it confirmed.
As far back as I can remember I couldn't get my arms over my head, had chronic fatigue and cried in pain every day. I thought I was just a lazy baby and was punished for my crying" tantrums". My parents say that I didn't have the" vocabulary" to make them think I needed medical help. I know there has to be tons of kids out there slipping through the cracks like this. Everything you talked about was really well said.
It helps to see that there's so many of us with so many different conditions struggling with medical gaslighting. It took me over 2 decades, possibly closer to 3, to get my ME diagnosis - something to thank COVID for, medical profession becoming a lot more aware and accepting of post viral fatigue conditions.
The subtext of the inner saboteur having bangs/fringe! 🤣
I love that character -- so perfect!
This is such an important message, thank you for delivering it so eloquently. I suffered for decades with depression because I assumed that since was able to function, I couldn't be depressed, I just needed to toughen up. Also, my symptoms seemed to be intermittent, so it couldn't be serious. I finally decided to try antidepressants, and it worked magic for me. I realised that the times before when I thought I was happy, I was actually just less depressed. If you're reading this and can't decide whether you're depressed or "just a crybaby", let me say that it doesn't matter: crybabies deserve mental health too!
Thank you for existing. It is SO hard to find videos about disability and chronic pain. The ones I find feel so... odd. And old
This video couldn't have found me at a better time. Yesterday all of my joints ached enough that I couldn't go out or do much, and this has happened a few times within the past few months. I have Celiac Disease, and it could be that, but now I am motivated to talk to a doctor about this because it is a more recent development in my life than Celiac Disease.
Every time I hear about physical disabilities I am hit with how much it applies to me with my autism and how relatable it is. People are so adamant to erase us and claim that it's not a disability, for the same reason some people don't like the word autism either : they're ableist. Hearing about other disabilities is not only very educational and eye-opening, it's also affirming for me as a disable person to feel like my struggle is real and valid.
Thank you for this video. I just started the process of hopefully getting at least some of my physical symptoms addressed, and this is a good reminder that I don't just have to suffer and deal with them just because of transphobia and aphobia in the medical system, or medical professionals not listening to me, or me not thinking I'm sick enough to deserve help. Thank you for the reminder that even those of us who don't feel like we are sick or disabled or in pain enough deserve care too.
when i read the title i just had to watch the video - i feel this too much!
The intro to this video was like someone was reading my mind!
Same! She articulated my deepest fears within the first ten seconds.
Thank you for being such an icon, both of style and of humanity. 💛