My friends and I just had this conversation! We live in Canada but we’re Jamaican and it’s tewwwww much but we love going back home because of the sense of community and culture. Everything you said about money is spot on! And they treat us differently even though we are Jamaican they see us as OTHER because we were born in the western world. I’m so glad that you are speaking up about this and I hope more of us speak up!
Never knew Jamaicans when through this also but you are spot on with being viewed as the other which is kind of hard because we all know we aren't from whichever white country we grew up in and then the country our parents is from is now not viewing us as one of theirs
@@ZogieDeGeminiyessssss ooooo… A lot of us Caribbeans can identify especially us 🇯🇲. I’ve been saying for yeaaaaarrrzzzz that 🇳🇬n🇯🇲 are the same people.. The similarities outweigh the differences in my opinion.
My husband is nigerian. I am belgian. I was there last year. I quickly found out that if you empty your pockets on the public, You will have NOTHING for yourself in the end. So i quickly learned to be quiet especially at the markets and in the stores. I let my husband do all the talking and it worked. LoL it was not easy oooo
Are you Belgian or a black person who grew up in Belgium😂😂😂. This stuff is so funny to me. You will never see a black person or a Chinese person who grew up in let’s say Nigeria when asked saying “I’m Nigerian”. They always say where they are actually from. Funny enough you also never see an African let’s say from Ivory Coast who grew up in like Kenya calling themselves Kenyan. It’s always Africans who grew up in Europe calling themselves whatever European country they grew up in😂😂. But I bet if you grew up in South Sudan you wouldn’t call yourself south Sudanese😭😭 The self hate is real. If you me biological father, grandfather etc isn’t Belgian with real Belgian descent then you are not Belgian. At best you are a citizen of Belgium.
As someone from the other side ( moved from Ghana to Uk). It was definitely a culture shock for me in the workplace seeing how some younger employees on my level in the Uk could boldly challenge and speak to more senior managers. Never realised the hyper respectful culture had subconsciously made me timid and was a learning curve to get out of.
People who combine respectfulness with confidence are often highly admired and trusted. By adapting to the UK’s communication style while keeping the strengths of your culture, you’ll stand out as someone who is both assertive and respectful-a powerful combination.
If you know how I cannot stand Nigeria. I stayed for 3 months & people who were supposedly related to me that I had never met would come to the house where I was staying at 6 am to ask me for money from everything for school fees for their kids to money 'to do business'. It was horrible.
@@richiesmalls3441I’m Jamaican-American. My husband is Nigerian. We live in USA. I stopped posting our outings or when I meal-prep in my WhatsApp stories. Every time I did that. My husband’s family would ask him for money. Ah Ah. We literally work so much just to buy basic groceries for me to cook and they’re thinking we’re rich. Wtf?! We plan out our date nights per month and y’all think we’re rich because I post my dinner plate at a restaurant. Sad.
@simplydivine77 it is really sad. I recently sold my old house. Can you believe that my younger sister and her husband have stopped communicating with me because I refused to share the proceeds. She actually expected me to dash out every family member's money, not minding that it was my shared investment with my husband. This year alone I know how much I spent on them yet they still begrudge me so I decided to cut all ties.
British Born Nigerian here, been here for let's say 7/8 years so have an informed take. I can relate to everything you say. Tbh it just gets better in time and you learn to adapt. From when you understand health is wealth, you are responsible for making the most out of your resources and keep good company, it gets easier and you'll eventually find your place.
Oh! word? i thought it was just Nigerians alone. Because it's getting out of hand for us now. it's as if we were programmed by parents subsconciously to have these people's pleaser or messiah complex mentality and stuff, now we are waking up like nah man , go get your own corn bread lol
Same in the Caribbean, people will try so hard to make you feel bad for not sharing your money with them they feel entitled to it. Idc though, no is no idc how it makes them feel lool
15:37 Wow, this is the first time I've heard another Nigerian point this out. "Help you help yourself" is frowned upon sometimes. Instead its "get it done" and no-one learns.
Jamaican American here and Zogie my love the culture is the same! Im the only sibling born in the US. Allll my siblings are Jamaican born and 20 to 30 yrs older than me and not only expect everything from our parents dont care how old they get but will resort to obeah and violence if they don't get their way. Be careful! My father told me a jealous man will kill you and ive grown up to learn that it's true.
Zogie Dey glow oooo 😍 Yes the entitlement is crazy. Times are hard but I cannot empty my cup trying to “help” everyone after all my name no be dangote!
Thank you for this so much needed conversation. As a Kenyan living in Germany, it makes so mad that my parents taught me everything except BOUNDARIES! But maybe that’s because they never had any themselves. How can you teach something that you yourself don’t know anything about?
❤ How real and transpatent you are. It takes at least 5 - 10 years to settle into any new community. I can vouch for that having lived in different places across the world and each place having it's pro and cons... Give it time...
I'm from Trinidad and Tobago and I've met many Nigerians here and I can say it was an eye opener It did help me grow as a person but it showed me I didn't want to move there as I initially thought
Loool thanks love, personally when someone takes too long to get to the point I just click off so I’m conscious of that. Sorry you had to go through that, they can be so intense at times!
Your observations are very accurate. These types of entitlement attitudes are prevelent in West Indian communities as well. It's very soul depleting. I was accused by a relative of treating them badly because I did not give them any money when I went on holiday in the WI. It never entered their minds that at that ( one) time, I had no money to give. They completely forgot that on most occasions when I did gift them some funds I never saw them again for the rest of my stay. It's a sad aspect of our cultures. It's mostly what can you give me rather than... ( What can I do for myself to enhance my situation). You spoke truth. 😢
Zambian here and I totally understand you! It’s exhausting but I’m breaking the cycle of dependence. I help where I can but I will not give so much that I can’t even enjoy the little money I earn in the UK. I’ve got my own goals and dreams to buy a house too.
I can't stop laughing at the introduction of this video: the sense of entitlement in Nigeria is mind-boggling. I built houses for three of my siblings, gave them money to start business, and sent their children to the university, yet, it wasn't enough for them. They kept asking for more and more and more and more just because they know I have money. Well, in 2011 (13 years ago) I cut the six of them off. Till today, they don't know whether I'm still alive or dead and I don't know whether they are still alive or deaf. I've had peace of mind for 13 years now. The last time I spoke with any of them was 2011. I'm enjoying my life in New York and they are enjoying their life in Lagos. I have zero information about any of them since 2011.
You're spot on hun. I guess there will always be pros and cons of moving back home. I think my biggest culture shock when I was on holiday was customer service! Omg! That's for a different video I guess! 😂😂
10:19 yes, so.I have been binge watching your videos and I cried when your sister said that we are needed and do not think about it too much. Overthinking. This is the thing though....as a world traveler, I keep feeling like I gotta come home. Nija, here I come. 😊
I’m an American Born Ghanaian raised in the NYC with no other Africans. I love my culture however I am a black sheep and it b/c I do not care to call out the hypocrisy at all. I do not care if it’s culture if it ain’t right I will not follow it. Elders will disrespect the hell out of you and speak falsely on your name and expect you to bow down without resistance. So I’m considered the unruly one b/c I refuse… I’ve also already told my family back home they better enjoy what they get now from my mom b/c they will NEVER get it from me. I will only invest in a family business and if they choose to be deceptive and use what I give for a family business… for their own personal agenda… they will reap what they sow… I’m not playing around At ALL…. I don’t know them like that and will not allow myself to be a cash cow… they don’t give a dam about your well being if it’s not for them to receive money from you.
It be the little kids that press their faces against ya car window in traffic around. lekki phase 1 begging. 😢😢 as an American it saddens me. I always travel with bags of candy for the kids 😊. I Buy tshirts from thrift stores just to gift to the gates men , I always travel with extra because they don’t make enough to live on. And what is 5 or 10 usd is a lot for some people over there who really work hard going to Nigeria is always a humbling experience ❤❤❤❤!
Finallly I’m grew up in international schools and went to a British school in Nigeria then went to the uk once I was an adult always had the accent but it got stronger. I’m literally white to most Nigerians that’s how I’m treated
It same for people of the diaspora, whether Africa or Caribbean. Do you have set boundaries in terms of money. After all we are not your bank or golden goose.
It’s poor boundaries sometimes when everyone is used to struggling and over time a system of the community/family help out but now it’s become an entitlement instead of a blessing… I hope that makes sense. I grew up in a poor part of the US south Mississippi to be exact, but my family doesn’t really do this to each other cause ppl know how to say no when need😅. But I understand how it starts because there was a time when we all lived in the same house and struggled together and when the first ones got educated and started making good money they helped out everyone a lot then ppl and there was drama at some point now fast forward we are all pretty much on the same level so it’s not a factor anymore.
Lmao. Spot on. I’m Brit Nigerian but can’t live there. I’ll tell tou where you’re going wrong… you’re not emulating lagosians well. You need to match their craze. Also, in situations where they wouldn’t expect money from a native Nigerian, you must double down and give them dirty look.
Girl, I’m 6ft, look how I look, have a PhD and blah blah. I’ve been this big since 12, the goal is not to fit in, but to stand out. Your special, shine bright and stand in who you are. FYI, I have not watched the video yet 😂😂
Zogie, be yourself, us Gemini beat to our own drum... I want you to look in, meaning , ask yourself, why I’m not content??? Fix your inside, a lot of times we as people are dealing with our own insecurities and we feel we can’t live up to whatever we’re trying to live up to... me and my daughter talk about this all the time, I tell her Life is about Balance, it doesn’t matter who you are,and as far as making friends just let it happen naturally, you will know... Good Luck!!!:-)))🥰🥰🥰🥰
Had the same problem, about 23 years ago at the Lagos airport, returnING back to UK, I had a nigerian passport, but immigration still ask me to fill some form, which was not a problem, but a staff came and said the form is composary, and started filling the form for me (I didn't ask him to) After the form was filled he ask for money, I refused politly and moved on to the next immigration/airport scanner/scavengers😢. No money was handed over. Try not to have hand luggage while leaving, they will oppression you for money, even if you have no goods to declare, they will threaten you that your goods is under examination. I learnt from this not to carry hand luggage (these where the airline staff at the final boarding area) I hand over some money as the staff a lady was really 😳stressing me
@@a.aerialIts reduced drastically. I just traveled this December. They are just nice and hopeful but will not ask you or hold you back unnecessarily. I’m referring to Abuja International Airport though.
Yes, it’s great to hear a Nigerian being honest and not bragging about how great Nigeria and Nigerian men are!!!!! Some content creators never seem to say anything except how wonderful Nigeria, Nigerians, Nigerian culture etc is!!!!! Yet they still have to go elsewhere for a better life
I am so sorry these intersections are becoming more common dont let it bring you down you are what they wish they could be thats why they want to take advantage of you and humble you left and right . Stay humble but dont dim your shine do you be grounded but let yourself fly
I’m really glad someone is saying this. I was seriously abused in school because of this, even my mates feel entitled to this respect cos I look young and all 😢
I'm a Nigerian in Nigeria and I understand what you're saying because it's undeniable but there are a select few who don't feel entitled to other people's money.
@@EmbaloFamilyChannel yes so ture, my mum is not talking to me cus I'm not carrying her finical baggage, even though she has her money and is comfortable. Nigerian love and enjoy spending other people's money💰🤑, they want to take their money💰to heaven🤣😂🤣😂
Girl......I'm Jamaican/Nigerian living in Delta state and I feel.you on this. If you.wanna chat reach out. I shame them on the daily as I also spent many years in America. They try me DAILY because as soon as my mouth opens and they hear the accent they see dollar signs.... Very sad..
Am not Nigerian but I remember when I went there omg it’s so true everything is moneyyyyyyy. It’s fun and good vibes but my goodness “anything for the boys” 😂😂😂😂😂 I can’t and the attitude these people have is just tewwww much sometimes when you go to like a restaurant sometimes they don’t even give you back your change depending on if it’s not a lot of money they’ll just keep It without even asking or being polite about icl I was FUMING
@@Maelanizmum It’s not a common habit to not get yet change. I don’t think I’ve experienced it in Abuja and I’ve been living here for years. I don’t recall going to a restaurant and my change is not given to me no matter the amount. My experience in Abuja is different.
I get you.Although I was never asked for money ,I was expected to bring gifts for EVERYBODY every time I came back to my home. Really?I am one with a suitcase of 20kg which needs to fit my clothes for 1 month and you all 30-40 people expect I will bring you gifts? Do I have the money for this amount of gifts?Do I have the space in my luggage to fit your gifts? I cut everybody straight away. 1.I'm not working my ass off in a foreign country so that I will spend my money on gifts. 2.Im not obliged to anybody. 3.I dont owe anything to anybody except my parents and sis. That was it!They stopped coming, calling and etc.The best decision ever.
I’m Jamaican-American. My hubby is Nigerian. We live in USA. We would like to leave Amerikkka at some point but I am adamant we do not go to Nigeria. I prefer Ghana. Close but not too close to his family. Lol
You have to teach people how to treat you. There’s no excuse for an elder to be oblivious to the golden rule. They’ve been on this earth long enough to know better.
The way I like listening to you and how much I enjoy your videos even I’m not Nigerian.( Moroccan/ Trinidadian) . As someone born and raised in Germany, I can tell you that I’m facing the exact same problems whenever I visit Morocco 😅. God bless you my sister and greetings from Mallorca/ Spain
Great analysis and delivery. Insightful. The sense of entitlement is repulsive. It's a double-edged sword. When you refuse to give, you are deemed wicked. When you don't give to expectation, there is resentment. When you are overly generous, you are considered a fool. My resolution is to allow my conscience to guide me. It is God who I seek to impress, not man. If I notice that someone has started to take me for granted, I will alter the mode of my relationship with the person.
This is crazy! But thank you for sharing on this topic cause it is definitely an adjustment. Question: what if you don’t give the cops or the grocery baggers money? Do the cops give you a ticket or do the grocers not bag your stuff cause they are mad? If you don’t give to relatives do they get mad as well? I would be interested to know how it goes if you don’t give the way they expect.
Going back to Nigeria, the end of the month, my second time, dont know if I should be excited or sad. Coming from the USA and I can't give what I dont have. It's too much!!!
And understand that the help doesn't have an expiry date either. It's for life and a perpetual type of help. The respect thing is important because some people are deeply involved in voodoo and spirituality, which is why they demand respect too, which we don't see. However, make sure you are saved so that you can be protected by God. Be wise as a serpent and harmless as a dove to be able to effectively navigate yourself in Nigeria. Have lived in Nigeria for 20 years and left to the UK in 96 but haven't returned since. So these are MY 20 years experiences as they never change, It's still the same mentality. and pick your battle.
With the thing about tipping and paying people for doing their jobs, you could always say no. Just say you don’t have any money on you and move on. it’s really not an obligation.
Definitely depends on the person bcuz I’m Nigerian American and whenever I go to Lagos I feel like I fit in. I feel like I fit in there more than I do in the US lol
My friends and I just had this conversation! We live in Canada but we’re Jamaican and it’s tewwwww much but we love going back home because of the sense of community and culture. Everything you said about money is spot on! And they treat us differently even though we are Jamaican they see us as OTHER because we were born in the western world. I’m so glad that you are speaking up about this and I hope more of us speak up!
Never knew Jamaicans when through this also but you are spot on with being viewed as the other which is kind of hard because we all know we aren't from whichever white country we grew up in and then the country our parents is from is now not viewing us as one of theirs
Yes big facts 🇯🇲🇯🇲🇯🇲
@@ZogieDeGeminiyessssss ooooo… A lot of us Caribbeans can identify especially us 🇯🇲. I’ve been saying for yeaaaaarrrzzzz that 🇳🇬n🇯🇲 are the same people.. The similarities outweigh the differences in my opinion.
As a fellow Jamaican who now lives in Jamaica, this!!
you ARE other though. Why would you expect them to treat you the same as those who grew up alongside them?
My husband is nigerian. I am belgian. I was there last year. I quickly found out that if you empty your pockets on the public, You will have NOTHING for yourself in the end. So i quickly learned to be quiet especially at the markets and in the stores. I let my husband do all the talking and it worked. LoL it was not easy oooo
Exactly this!
You must be wise by force in Nigeria. No one will teach you to be wise 😂😂
You look black to me, not Belgian. Why reject your heritage?
Are you Belgian or a black person who grew up in Belgium😂😂😂. This stuff is so funny to me. You will never see a black person or a Chinese person who grew up in let’s say Nigeria when asked saying “I’m Nigerian”. They always say where they are actually from. Funny enough you also never see an African let’s say from Ivory Coast who grew up in like Kenya calling themselves Kenyan. It’s always Africans who grew up in Europe calling themselves whatever European country they grew up in😂😂. But I bet if you grew up in South Sudan you wouldn’t call yourself south Sudanese😭😭
The self hate is real.
If you me biological father, grandfather etc isn’t Belgian with real Belgian descent then you are not Belgian. At best you are a citizen of Belgium.
Same thing happened to me when I visited Douala Cameroon. I had to stop taking in order to prevent getting ripped off.
As someone from the other side ( moved from Ghana to Uk). It was definitely a culture shock for me in the workplace seeing how some younger employees on my level in the Uk could boldly challenge and speak to more senior managers. Never realised the hyper respectful culture had subconsciously made me timid and was a learning curve to get out of.
People who combine respectfulness with confidence are often highly admired and trusted. By adapting to the UK’s communication style while keeping the strengths of your culture, you’ll stand out as someone who is both assertive and respectful-a powerful combination.
In the work place there is no age heirarcy, hence why a young person can manage a 50 year old if they have the right skills and experience.
@@Christsword agreed!
@@Christsworddefinitely agree!
Ms. Mamas said them 🥷 😂😂😂😂😂😂 fucking flatlined 😅. Child I feel you though.
If you know how I cannot stand Nigeria. I stayed for 3 months & people who were supposedly related to me that I had never met would come to the house where I was staying at 6 am to ask me for money from everything for school fees for their kids to money 'to do business'. It was horrible.
It’s so ridiculous as well because more time, these people have a better quality of life than you do in whatever country you’ve come from
I am Nigerian, born and raised. I experience same. It's in the upbringing. If you are generous, people will take advantage of you even family.
!!!!
@@richiesmalls3441I’m Jamaican-American. My husband is Nigerian. We live in USA. I stopped posting our outings or when I meal-prep in my WhatsApp stories. Every time I did that. My husband’s family would ask him for money. Ah Ah. We literally work so much just to buy basic groceries for me to cook and they’re thinking we’re rich. Wtf?! We plan out our date nights per month and y’all think we’re rich because I post my dinner plate at a restaurant. Sad.
@simplydivine77 it is really sad. I recently sold my old house. Can you believe that my younger sister and her husband have stopped communicating with me because I refused to share the proceeds. She actually expected me to dash out every family member's money, not minding that it was my shared investment with my husband. This year alone I know how much I spent on them yet they still begrudge me so I decided to cut all ties.
British Born Nigerian here, been here for let's say 7/8 years so have an informed take. I can relate to everything you say. Tbh it just gets better in time and you learn to adapt. From when you understand health is wealth, you are responsible for making the most out of your resources and keep good company, it gets easier and you'll eventually find your place.
Thanks for your input love!
@@ZogieDeGeminiare you the sort of thing Nigeria can offer to the world? WATA SHAME
In America they call this the "Black Tax". It happens with the successful member of the family and celebrities as well.
Ohh never knew that! In Nigeria it feels like you don't even need to be 'successful' just be born in a different country
The latinas too. Its in most non-western cultures
Lmao I call it “accent tax” 😭
@@ZogieDeGeminithat’s successful for them, western country are the” st graal” that’s the same in Congo or Ivory Coast
Oh! word? i thought it was just Nigerians alone. Because it's getting out of hand for us now. it's as if we were programmed by parents subsconciously to have these people's pleaser or messiah complex mentality and stuff, now we are waking up like nah man , go get your own corn bread lol
Why would you want to fit in, when you were born to stand out honey ❤
You are stunning x
Haha thanks love, I agree but sometimes I don't always want to stick out!
@@ZogieDeGeminiyou are slim slim honey!! Skinny thin. Tell us your secrets
Same in the Caribbean, people will try so hard to make you feel bad for not sharing your money with them they feel entitled to it. Idc though, no is no idc how it makes them feel lool
I'm an American who has been in Lagos since August. U are absolutely right. I'm not used to that/this tipping everyone for during their jobs.
Literally! It can be just too much at times, like sir you have not even fully done your job and I need to tip you?
Ooo this irks me. I overheard a shop attendant say to another ‘after helping the customer, all you got was a thank you’.
15:37 Wow, this is the first time I've heard another Nigerian point this out. "Help you help yourself" is frowned upon sometimes. Instead its "get it done" and no-one learns.
Literally sis! I think a lot of Nigerians think this way but will never say anything because as you mentioned it is frowned upon
Jamaican American here and Zogie my love the culture is the same! Im the only sibling born in the US. Allll my siblings are Jamaican born and 20 to 30 yrs older than me and not only expect everything from our parents dont care how old they get but will resort to obeah and violence if they don't get their way. Be careful! My father told me a jealous man will kill you and ive grown up to learn that it's true.
Zogie Dey glow oooo 😍
Yes the entitlement is crazy. Times are hard but I cannot empty my cup trying to “help” everyone after all my name no be dangote!
Thank you so much lovely and yes your right as teni said my baba no be dangote
Thank you for this so much needed conversation. As a Kenyan living in Germany, it makes so mad that my parents taught me everything except BOUNDARIES! But maybe that’s because they never had any themselves. How can you teach something that you yourself don’t know anything about?
Spot on ,sounds like ur talking about Jamaica,I'm struggling to settle in, really thinking about going back.
❤ How real and transpatent you are. It takes at least 5 - 10 years to settle into any new community. I can vouch for that having lived in different places across the world and each place having it's pro and cons... Give it time...
It's not just a 'Nigeria' thing, it's an African/Caribbean thing too. The worst is when you send money and they are completely ungrateful.
I'm from Trinidad and Tobago and I've met many Nigerians here and I can say it was an eye opener It did help me grow as a person but it showed me I didn't want to move there as I initially thought
Yeah lol Nigerians definitely has it flaws so its best to weigh out your options sis
OOH Zogie, I can't wait for the interview with your sister. This Naija series is the gift that keeps on givinggg!!!
Thanks hun, coming up very soon!
I like how you just get to the point in your videos ❤I worked with Nigerians and I had to literally prove my ancestry to them 🫠
Loool thanks love, personally when someone takes too long to get to the point I just click off so I’m conscious of that. Sorry you had to go through that, they can be so intense at times!
Your observations are very accurate. These types of entitlement attitudes are prevelent in West Indian communities as well. It's very soul depleting. I was accused by a relative of treating them badly because I did not give them any money when I went on holiday in the WI. It never entered their minds that at that ( one) time, I had no money to give. They completely forgot that on most occasions when I did gift them some funds I never saw them again for the rest of my stay. It's a sad aspect of our cultures. It's mostly what can you give me rather than... ( What can I do for myself to enhance my situation). You spoke truth. 😢
Went to Nigeria for the 1st time in 19 years, this year and this is so spot on!
I'm from the Caribbean....I totally understand this story
Zambian here and I totally understand you! It’s exhausting but I’m breaking the cycle of dependence. I help where I can but I will not give so much that I can’t even enjoy the little money I earn in the UK. I’ve got my own goals and dreams to buy a house too.
18:05 "If your moving mad, your moving mad" - profound words 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Literally sis! 😂
I can't stop laughing at the introduction of this video: the sense of entitlement in Nigeria is mind-boggling. I built houses for three of my siblings, gave them money to start business, and sent their children to the university, yet, it wasn't enough for them. They kept asking for more and more and more and more just because they know I have money. Well, in 2011 (13 years ago) I cut the six of them off. Till today, they don't know whether I'm still alive or dead and I don't know whether they are still alive or deaf. I've had peace of mind for 13 years now. The last time I spoke with any of them was 2011. I'm enjoying my life in New York and they are enjoying their life in Lagos. I have zero information about any of them since 2011.
That’s BEYOND crazy. I’m sorry for your loss. Thats so hurtful. Congratulations on the peace.
You're spot on hun. I guess there will always be pros and cons of moving back home. I think my biggest culture shock when I was on holiday was customer service! Omg! That's for a different video I guess! 😂😂
Definitelyyy
10:19 yes, so.I have been binge watching your videos and I cried when your sister said that we are needed and do not think about it too much. Overthinking. This is the thing though....as a world traveler, I keep feeling like I gotta come home. Nija, here I come. 😊
OMG! It's the same in the Caribbean luv.
I never would have thought this but at the same time I’m not that surprised. It’s definitely prevalent in the black community
I agree Nigeria is tough but the UK is the shithole 😂. At least in Nigeria you can enjoy your money and the nightlife is popping
Exactly!
I’m an American Born Ghanaian raised in the NYC with no other Africans. I love my culture however I am a black sheep and it b/c I do not care to call out the hypocrisy at all. I do not care if it’s culture if it ain’t right I will not follow it. Elders will disrespect the hell out of you and speak falsely on your name and expect you to bow down without resistance. So I’m considered the unruly one b/c I refuse… I’ve also already told my family back home they better enjoy what they get now from my mom b/c they will NEVER get it from me. I will only invest in a family business and if they choose to be deceptive and use what I give for a family business… for their own personal agenda… they will reap what they sow… I’m not playing around At ALL…. I don’t know them like that and will not allow myself to be a cash cow… they don’t give a dam about your well being if it’s not for them to receive money from you.
I know that’s right.
Facts
It be the little kids that press their faces against ya car window in traffic around. lekki phase 1 begging. 😢😢 as an American it saddens me. I always travel with bags of candy for the kids 😊. I Buy tshirts from thrift stores just to gift to the gates men , I always travel with extra because they don’t make enough to live on. And what is 5 or 10 usd is a lot for some people over there who really work hard going to Nigeria is always a humbling experience ❤❤❤❤!
I completely understand love it defo can be quite hard seeing that
Very true give and expect nothing, absolutely nothing
New describer enjoyed your topic. Visited Nigeria twice lm Jamaican living in London.
Finallly I’m grew up in international schools and went to a British school in Nigeria then went to the uk once I was an adult always had the accent but it got stronger. I’m literally white to most Nigerians that’s how I’m treated
White, how? As in you’re black skinned but you’re treated as white?
Also when you tell them that things are difficult in the UK they don’t want to hear
All they care is about themselves
You need to learn to say NO
PREACH IT SISTA, so on point oo humph 🤦🏽♀️ thank you for speaking truth…..
Zogie, you’re so beautiful. Please where do get your outfits
Thanks hun, I mainly shop on Shein, PLT and Nigerian instagram boutiques. This very one is from a Lagos boutique
It same for people of the diaspora, whether Africa or Caribbean. Do you have set boundaries in terms of money. After all we are not your bank or golden goose.
I don’t know how I came across this video, but glad I did. I enjoyed the video and the comments section is energetic! ❤
It’s poor boundaries sometimes when everyone is used to struggling and over time a system of the community/family help out but now it’s become an entitlement instead of a blessing… I hope that makes sense. I grew up in a poor part of the US south Mississippi to be exact, but my family doesn’t really do this to each other cause ppl know how to say no when need😅. But I understand how it starts because there was a time when we all lived in the same house and struggled together and when the first ones got educated and started making good money they helped out everyone a lot then ppl and there was drama at some point now fast forward we are all pretty much on the same level so it’s not a factor anymore.
Lmao. Spot on. I’m Brit Nigerian but can’t live there. I’ll tell tou where you’re going wrong… you’re not emulating lagosians well. You need to match their craze.
Also, in situations where they wouldn’t expect money from a native Nigerian, you must double down and give them dirty look.
Girl, I’m 6ft, look how I look, have a PhD and blah blah. I’ve been this big since 12, the goal is not to fit in, but to stand out. Your special, shine bright and stand in who you are.
FYI, I have not watched the video yet 😂😂
Zogie, be yourself, us Gemini beat to our own drum... I want you to look in, meaning , ask yourself, why I’m not content??? Fix your inside, a lot of times we as people are dealing with our own insecurities and we feel we can’t live up to whatever we’re trying to live up to... me and my daughter talk about this all the time, I tell her Life is about Balance, it doesn’t matter who you are,and as far as making friends just let it happen naturally, you will know... Good Luck!!!:-)))🥰🥰🥰🥰
It’s crazy how people think they’re entitled of your money. It’s the same in the Caribbean.
You look beautiful! 😍 ❤
Thank you!!
Im obesses with your voice girrrl!!!! Like you seem so confident and outspoken
This videos is very interesting great points!
Glad you enjoyed it
Fam! You hit the nail right on the head! Real talk.
It’s a different world out there. No point complaining. Give only whenever and whatever you feel like and move on whenever you don’t.
Had the same problem, about 23 years ago at the Lagos airport, returnING back to UK, I had a nigerian passport, but immigration still ask me to fill some form, which was not a problem, but a staff came and said the form is composary, and started filling the form for me (I didn't ask him to)
After the form was filled he ask for money, I refused politly and moved on to the next immigration/airport scanner/scavengers😢.
No money was handed over.
Try not to have hand luggage while leaving, they will oppression you for money, even if you have no goods to declare, they will threaten you that your goods is under examination. I learnt from this not to carry hand luggage (these where the airline staff at the final boarding area) I hand over some money as the staff a lady was really 😳stressing me
Its crazy that you said it was 23 years ago but I can still imagine the same thing happening now!
Can confirm it still does! It happened to my family when we flew back to USA from Abuja after New Years 2024 🙃🙃🙃
@@a.aerialIts reduced drastically. I just traveled this December. They are just nice and hopeful but will not ask you or hold you back unnecessarily. I’m referring to Abuja International Airport though.
me as a zambian in the UK. never zambian enough
Story of our life sis!
@ZogieDeGemini right bbe 😭💚🙏🏽
Oh my Zoie! U look so different. Love the new u!
Thanks love
You are awesome! Thanks for sharing, I’m British 🇬🇧 but spend a lot of time in Ghana 🇬🇭
Hmmmm interesting to hear an honest view from a Nigerian on Nigeria.
Yes, it’s great to hear a Nigerian being honest and not bragging about how great Nigeria and Nigerian men are!!!!! Some content creators never seem to say anything except how wonderful Nigeria, Nigerians, Nigerian culture etc is!!!!! Yet they still have to go elsewhere for a better life
Bless u. Transparency 🔥🔥🔥
I am so sorry these intersections are becoming more common dont let it bring you down you are what they wish they could be thats why they want to take advantage of you and humble you left and right . Stay humble but dont dim your shine do you be grounded but let yourself fly
I’m really glad someone is saying this. I was seriously abused in school because of this, even my mates feel entitled to this respect cos I look young and all 😢
That's Africa and the Caribbean period.
I'm a Nigerian in Nigeria and I understand what you're saying because it's undeniable but there are a select few who don't feel entitled to other people's money.
Zogie preaching as usual
Okay you look soooooo beautiful and thanks for sharing your story
Thank you so much!!
This happened to me when I was in Jamaica. I’m going to try again now that I’m older as I’m trying to find my place
Girll facts! The respect and entitlement is a struggle lol
Thank you for that invaluable information about lagos
I’m not even Nigerian but my mum feels like I own her just because she is my mum 😮
@@EmbaloFamilyChannel yes so ture, my mum is not talking to me cus I'm not carrying her finical baggage, even though she has her money and is comfortable. Nigerian love and enjoy spending other people's money💰🤑, they want to take their money💰to heaven🤣😂🤣😂
@@yet8117so true 😂😂
Most African mothers are like that.
Girl......I'm Jamaican/Nigerian living in Delta state and I feel.you on this. If you.wanna chat reach out. I shame them on the daily as I also spent many years in America. They try me DAILY because as soon as my mouth opens and they hear the accent they see dollar signs.... Very sad..
Thank them for their service and say no.
They ask you for money if they think you're doing better than they are. Even if you don't have an accent.
Am not Nigerian but I remember when I went there omg it’s so true everything is moneyyyyyyy. It’s fun and good vibes but my goodness “anything for the boys” 😂😂😂😂😂 I can’t and the attitude these people have is just tewwww much sometimes when you go to like a restaurant sometimes they don’t even give you back your change depending on if it’s not a lot of money they’ll just keep It without even asking or being polite about icl I was FUMING
The change thing is annoying to almost everyone. Some of us will insist on collecting although it’s not a common habit in Abuja. Lagos, perhaps.
@@Onenaijagirlwoooow not a common habit to collect your own change? Are you serious?
@@Maelanizmum It’s not a common habit to not get yet change. I don’t think I’ve experienced it in Abuja and I’ve been living here for years. I don’t recall going to a restaurant and my change is not given to me no matter the amount. My experience in Abuja is different.
@@Onenaijagirlohhhhh okay yhh it happened to me in Lagos
@@Onenaijagirl ohhh okay yhhh it happened to me in Lagos and ma bad btw I thought I saw it’s common
Haven’t come across you page in a long time and wow, u look great!!
You are on the money.
Thanks for watching!
I get you.Although I was never asked for money ,I was expected to bring gifts for EVERYBODY every time I came back to my home.
Really?I am one with a suitcase of 20kg which needs to fit my clothes for 1 month and you all 30-40 people expect I will bring you gifts?
Do I have the money for this amount of gifts?Do I have the space in my luggage to fit your gifts?
I cut everybody straight away.
1.I'm not working my ass off in a foreign country so that I will spend my money on gifts.
2.Im not obliged to anybody.
3.I dont owe anything to anybody except my parents and sis.
That was it!They stopped coming, calling and etc.The best decision ever.
I’m Jamaican-American. My hubby is Nigerian. We live in USA. We would like to leave Amerikkka at some point but I am adamant we do not go to Nigeria. I prefer Ghana. Close but not too close to his family. Lol
Great Work Here 💯
Finally thx sissss❤❤❤❤
You have to teach people how to treat you. There’s no excuse for an elder to be oblivious to the golden rule. They’ve been on this earth long enough to know better.
Hi Zogie, in my country Angola it's the same
The way I like listening to you and how much I enjoy your videos even I’m not Nigerian.( Moroccan/ Trinidadian) . As someone born and raised in Germany, I can tell you that I’m facing the exact same problems whenever I visit Morocco 😅. God bless you my sister and greetings from Mallorca/ Spain
@Amal-nx3lc
Just out of curiosity, is your morroccan parent indigenous Black African?
or Arab morroccan?
@ my mom is Arab Moroccan ☺️
@@Amal-nx3ic
Well, its appears that the entitlement for money and gift from relatives born in the West, is not solely a Black African habit.
PerrrrFectly said and must get done.
“Any thing for your boys”😅 I think South Africa is slowly getting there.
In most African countries it's like that, people will definitely take a bite at you, if they feel you have.
Meanwhile everyone broke minus a few people
Just avoid
Great analysis and delivery. Insightful. The sense of entitlement is repulsive. It's a double-edged sword. When you refuse to give, you are deemed wicked. When you don't give to expectation, there is resentment. When you are overly generous, you are considered a fool. My resolution is to allow my conscience to guide me. It is God who I seek to impress, not man. If I notice that someone has started to take me for granted, I will alter the mode of my relationship with the person.
I think they expect you to give because they see you as a foreigner.
So this thing of black Tax does not only happen here in South Africa hmmm... then its us black people problem and its straining.
In Nigeria, it doesn't matter whether you have come from abroad or if you have never been abroad, you MUST pay.
Anything for the boys? 😂😂😂😂
They think that your money should be their money send me into oblivion!!! Faaaaactsss!!!
A worddddd 🫰🏾🫰🏾🫰🏾🫰🏾
I’m a Nigerian that stays in nigeria and you’re very on point 😂
This is crazy! But thank you for sharing on this topic cause it is definitely an adjustment.
Question: what if you don’t give the cops or the grocery baggers money? Do the cops give you a ticket or do the grocers not bag your stuff cause they are mad? If you don’t give to relatives do they get mad as well? I would be interested to know how it goes if you don’t give the way they expect.
Bribing them to do their job 😂
Especially if they can hear or see that you’re foreign
Going back to Nigeria, the end of the month, my second time, dont know if I should be excited or sad. Coming from the USA and I can't give what I dont have. It's too much!!!
That’s why the country is not moving forward because they sort of hold each other back with that attitude
Hi Zogie 🙋🏽.
Very true, about money
Thanks for watching hun!
Horribly horrible entitled people! Soo annoying.
And understand that the help doesn't have an expiry date either. It's for life and a perpetual type of help. The respect thing is important because some people are deeply involved in voodoo and spirituality, which is why they demand respect too, which we don't see. However, make sure you are saved so that you can be protected by God. Be wise as a serpent and harmless as a dove to be able to effectively navigate yourself in Nigeria. Have lived in Nigeria for 20 years and left to the UK in 96 but haven't returned since. So these are MY 20 years experiences as they never change, It's still the same mentality. and pick your battle.
lol. They feel like your money should be their money🤣🤣🤣
I was laughing my stuff off. But yeah, Nigerians are pretty much community oriented.
You look really really beautiful
With the thing about tipping and paying people for doing their jobs, you could always say no. Just say you don’t have any money on you and move on. it’s really not an obligation.
Definitely depends on the person bcuz I’m Nigerian American and whenever I go to Lagos I feel like I fit in. I feel like I fit in there more than I do in the US lol
Accent tax