I spent decades as an art director and creative director and “rejection” was part of our daily experience. What I learned from that was that my work wasn’t getting rejected because of my lack of talent, it was getting rejected usually due to the client having a preference that wasn’t defined. Emotion is always a driver of creative and even in a professional environment where goals, objectives, emotional direction, etc. are all outlined in a creative brief, a client can change their mind for a reason they can’t articulate. There are ways to help clients through that process in the design world, but it’s not something fine artists would spend their time on. My point is that (having had a great deal of experience being rejected for creative work) the “rejection” really isn’t about you or your work. There will be people that have a preference for your work and there will be people who won’t. Some people feel like a nut, sometimes they don’t. The funny thing I’ve run into was now that I’m concentrating on producing fine art, all the fear of rejection started to boil up and I was afraid to put my work out there because I didn’t want the haters hating, which I feared would happen in droves. It didn’t. Now I’d welcome a little hate because maybe I’d get more engagement! OK, just kidding. 😉 Thanks for starting this discussion. Klee, I think your jingles rock!
@@elizabethlaws9128 Exactly! it's the old thing about giving people what they asked for instead of being a mind-reader and giving them what they really want.
I use to be really nervous posting on social media because my art would not get very many likes and I would track if my likes went up or down form one post to the other and over analyze what I could have done better. After a while i just stop posting. Then I told myself if just one person gives it a like or makes a comment it means my work impacted them in a positive way. So it's worth posting even if it is just for that one other person. Now I have like 5 people on my Instagram that will like my work on a regular basis. So I make art for myself, but I share it with them. It may not be a huge following, but having them like my work now makes my day.
Returning to college at age 65 to complete my BSN. Talk about fear of rejection!! There were a lot of "kids" who had a look on their faces like wtf?, and then there were those who just seemed to want to hang out and get to know me. A few of those kiddos have actually become great young friends that I still keep in touch with.
I returned to college at age 70, taking a pre-requisite Color and Design class. According to my professor, I led the class to be the strongest class she has ever taught, as I was fearless in firing up the discussions and motivating them to choose strong, even risky messages for their work. I was also, according to my professor, the only person in her 8 years of teaching the class to receive 100% scores. The first day I thought I might struggle in the class and wound up being their leader. But I was highly disappointed in their overall laziness, timidity and excuse making. I hope that changes as they grow older and wiser.
An old master painter told me once that about 25% of people will hate your art, 50% will not care, and 25% will like it. He then said to focus mostly on the 25% that like your art and just try to ignore the rest.
I know this video is well over a year old but I just found y'all. I gotta tell ya, I broke down and cried while I was watching this video. I think I really needed an emotional release. Man, oh man, do I feel better. I have tried many times over the years to start my art career. I dropped out of college when I was young and then years later, late 20s, I dropped out of art school. When things get hard I just quit. I am not doing that anymore. I've worked in the restaurant industry for years and now, finally at 51 years young I am doing this. I'm doing me, who I want to be. I am working on my art career. My therapist is helping me face my fears and set goals. I am forming a loose and flexible plan. Every seemingly negative hurtle is really just a learning experience. With my positive mind set, these learning experiences will only make me stronger. Thank you, both, so very much for all that you do. From the bottom of my little ol' heart, I love y'all.
When I was in college one of the classes we had to take as a senior was an art critique class. A whole hour of bashing each others work basically. We would just be awful & cruel to each other when we were critiquing. Thats what the professor wanted. Even if the art was a fantastic masterpiece we had to find something we didn't like about it & basically RIP each others work apart. (Obviously we would go over the good too) Then the art professor would join in as the last critique & would tell us the good & bad. When we first started many of us would go back to our rooms & cry. 😭 But by the end of the semester we had tough skins & knew which critiques to ignore & which ones to take to heart & go back & rework our piece. I actually miss those classes now, I think it made me a better artist. Now I have NO FEEDBACK and it can be frustrating because sometimes I feel stuck on a piece or I'm not seeing the improvement I need. So if someone doesn't like my work I ask them WHY & if they come up with a stupid answer I reject their rejection, but if it is a good reason I can use that for my betterment. Obviously not everyone will have the same opinions when it comes to art, but you can learn a great deal from those experiences. 😁
BRILLIANT video!!!! Raif you should be a counsellor! Thanks for that. I now have a mantra which is “we are just not a good fit. Your opinion has nothing to do with me as an empowered human”. Thanks so much for giving me strength
I'm in Liverpool UK and in 1979 when I was 12 trying to be a punk rocker, I painted my fender strat copy guitar that exact colour Rafi. You took me back with that intro. You are both an inspiration not just to your subscribers / viewers but more importantly to one another. That right there is your success, regardless of how your creative paths meander to meaningfulness. Happiness is never more than a room away when you're with the person you love. Rejection is just a cloud in your blue sky of your dreams, it may dull your light for a little while but ultimately, it will dissapate and your blue sky of dreams will still always be there, just more beautiful. Make memories folks. xx Gary. PS. I became a professional film composer. All you folks struggling... ignore the critics, believe in your creativity, it works. Critics don't.
Hi so true. It took my parents and Two professionals to meet me and believe in me. Gee I started on a life journey and in the end I am an ART CREATIVE. Wow and people criticed me to my face and behind my back. I stood tall and carried on regardless and i came up tops. Yes their all still doing it all tough and I did it all and enjoyed the whole journey.
I have SO MANY STORIES! But I'll keep it to two: One of my daughters catches me doing what she calls "catastrophizing", IOW, I think only of the worst that could happen. She makes me switch it to what if the BEST thing happened? It beings perspective and helps me realize that the actual result will be done mix of good and not so good, but probably mostly good. Secondly, my older daughter and I were once playing at a local event. During the performance we got completely lost from one another in the music. When we finally ended, we were so embarrassed with ourselves and not looking forward to the conversations after the show. Interestingly, NO ONE NOTICED BUT US! We actually had people come up to us with tears in their eyes saying "that was the most beautiful performance!" The lesson in that is... People hear and see what they want to. If you are rejected, it just means they don't see or hear what they want in your stuff... Nothing more than that.
I used to refrain from posting my stuff online or putting myself out there because of how afraid I was. I’m still afraid, but now I fight that fear. I found a book which helps a lot to motivate me on the harder days: “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway” by Susan Jeffers. The topic is simple: don’t wait for the fear to go away to do what you love because the fear always happens. It’s difficult sometimes. Some days I feel overcome by the idea that I’m a fake and and a failure and I’ll never amount to anything. But always I fight to get back up and to keep going regardless. Facing one’s fears is trying and scary, but the rewards of doing the work that makes you feel alive are so worth it. That’s my two cents. 😛
As a graphic designer, rejection was often down to the client playing safe and afraid to be innovative. Id have to reign myself in. As an artist i dont have to do ir.
I thought of rejection at the begining when I began self publishing my work, but then I thought this is my success, and I'm not letting anyone get in the way. Never let anyone get in the way of accomplishing your goals. This is your success.
For me learning that my choices in life were rejected behind my back by family was upsetting. Eventually I realised it doesn't matter, and I should just be myself and continue on my journey in life. Becoming a stay at home mom with my own business is hard and not everyone understands it, but it's me. Not everyone consider Artisan Soaps as art but for me it is my creative outlet. 😁
I love reading your comments section. Your peeps are almost as positive and creative as you two. I would be shocked to ever read a negative comment. Keep on doing what your doing as it clearly works for you with enough left over for all of us. You are inspirational in so many ways.
It’s rare to get valuable information and professional style entertainment in a UA-cam channel but you guys rock and are so good together! Thanks for your hard work in making these videos! 🙂🙂
Omg I go through this daily... My whole family thinks I'm stupid and a loser for pursuing arts and not being in nursing school. But I just cant deny who I am. My father asked sarcastically: So, you're gonna make a living out of drawing pigeons??!. Smh.. But the fact that I keep getting so much opposition inspires me to go at it harder. I haven't succeeded yet lmao.. But I just cant help to create. So that's what I do lol.. Btw Klee, I love your voice!!, "the long silence" is a beautiful song!❤❤
Such a great video! I think so many of us, creatives and non-creatives alike, are foiled by our fears. First of all, your videos really helped to inspire me to move forward with my own creations/art, so thank you for that. I still struggle with fear of rejection more than anything, but am learning ways to deal with it. My biggest help has been to think of the fact that there will always be someone out there who doesn't like what you do and that the people who don't like you are always the first to speak up and are usually the loudest. Thinking that helps me to look through their comments and rejections and hone in on the type of people who do like my work. I think, okay, I obviously didn't reach them with what I'm doing, but whom did I reach? It also helps to have a good support group and a good sense of self. I know who I am, I know what I want, and the cruel words of others have no influence on that. Them saying I'm a bad writer or a bad artist doesn't mean that I am a bad person - it still stings, but it doesn't change me.
I really loved this video! Thank you! I'm facing the rejection monster right now, only he's telling me I'm a fraud and if I put stuff out there then EVERYONE will find out. I will just have to give him the same mantra that I have for depression. "You are a lying liar." Intellectually, I know that I know my stuff. When I think about it, instead of letting my feelings of self worth determine my actions, I know that I'm not a fraud. So thank you both :)
Ah! The good old impostor syndrome. What I learnt in both my graphic design and IT careers is that almost everybody is winging it, most of the time, just doing their best.
A thought I had while watching this is to combine it with your previously mentioned approach to your work and how you make a piece for someone and it's just a matter of waiting for that someone to find it.(love that approach by the way) If you get rejected putting your art out there...well...you now know who that piece isn't for. That way the rejection can play out as more of an "ok this piece that I am proud of wasn't a fit for you" versus a more common "I am a garbage loser face with no creative value to anyone!!" stance.
I'm starting now to apply to local galleries. And my first impulse is to think my series is not good enough for galleries, I have to produce another series and apply after, I tend to postpone all the time. But this time I said screw it...what's the worst it can happen, get depressed and paint even more with a vengeance 😂😂😂
The *rejection* topic is so appropriate for my current frozen stasis ! You both describe the toxic thinking scenarios so well, and give such wonderful warm support to those of us (most) experiencing this....and the comments on the thread are *hold* ....such an incredible community here...thanx 👍
You guys are awesome. Rafi should absolutely keep singing. Do it everyday. Thanks for this video! That’s a super helpful, real-life formula for thinking about where you find your value. It’s super helpful to recognize the difference between your work and yourSELF. Blessings and more to you!!
YOUR FACE! Is actually reasonably pleasant to look at. And I admire your light you shine so brightly for all of UA-cam to see. Thank you for all of your helpful input on these deeper things.
I get knocked down, but I get up again 🎵🎶. Yep, that’s now stuck in my head 🖤. Great advice guys! I struggle with rejection from time to time. I love the logic of “we’re not the right fit”. Sometimes, people have ideas that we creatives just honestly can’t “picture”. We like to think we can do all & be all... but that’s just unrealistic. Heck, sometimes even my husband & I just don’t “picture” what the other does when conceptualizing a piece of art or a project.
I love how you basically describe Marcus Aurelius's version of stoicism practice. :D Ancient Greeks and Romans, still influencing the art world millennia later.
I no longer worry about the rejection. I expect a certain amount of resistance to what I’m about to do, you’ve seen it. My biggest hurdle is to find people that believe in me enough to get the word out when I launch my store.
My story goes like this...There was this annual art show that I really, really wanted to be a part of but unfortunately, was consistently turned down, 5 times as matter of fact. Then it happened, 2 of my submissions were accepted. For me, 6th time was a charm. 1st time I was rejected, I was bummed out & depressed but when the next time came around I was determined to try again, then again, and again for the next 5 years until the judges felt my work was good enough to be put in the show. Thanks to both of you for such informative videos.
Rejection is a natural thing as long as you’re not taking it personally. It takes time to overcome the old story in our heads. At the core, nobody can reject us without our permission. It’s a messed thing that kept creatives blocked for decades. It takes courage to show your work. Also, the bashers are projecting their pain because they’re blocked themselves. Plus, I don’t listen to people who criticize my work especially if they are not creating art. FO! 😂🧿💥
I was only rejected by people that did not have an open mind. They only wanted certain colors, styles or prices. I just moved on. Now, I can't find enough time in the year just to keep up with all the other stores that want my product.
Hey Rafi and Klee. Love your channel! I was stood behind some people looking at my paintings in a gallery, and heard them TOTALLY slate my work. One guy said "Give me £100 and I'll do a much better job than that!" They didn't know I was the artist. You should have seen the look on their face when I said " Well, I guess my style doesn't appeal to everybody. Have a nice day!" 🤣🤣🤣 screw haters!
this is an awesome vid! I I appreciate the wisdom from both of you. How do I deal with rejection? based on art. … I love to handcraft. and I have absolutely no problem gifting it. but to sell...(and I have thought of it) this is something I have yet to follow through on. having someone say "oh your work isn't worth that price. would …. let me just say I do not have a poker face. regardless there would be no purchasing that day!.
Don't tie your sense of self or self worth with others opinions and intentions ❤️ Thank you. Your videos are amazing. I am slowly making my way through your video library. 😂 A Rafi video a day keeps the worries and paralyzing crap turds away.
I found rejection helped steer me in a creative direction I hadn't considered. I always try to analyse my fears to help me improve my work. Eg. If I think a technique I'm using is not great, I'll either work on it to get better at it, or experiment and research to find a better way of doing it. Rejection/criticism can be a great thing for creativity if you approach it with positivity. Love you guys xx
Klee you have such a happy smile , I smile too. I'm a weirdo artist because I'm a haunter and I love it . It is the greatest creative outlet I have found( I've tried many). I don't want an art career. I am far too left brained, but without a creative space I die a little inside and I like you guys videos
I have no fear of rejection and failure as an artist, but as an individual, as a person I have no fear of missing out because I want to be an independent artist as a career and I'm driven to do it. :)
This summer I started applying to gallery shows for the first time. I applied to four all around the same time. I was accepted into one, rejected from two, and haven't heard either way from the last. When I got my first rejection I was proud of myself because I felt very at peace with the decision. It seemed like the fear of rejection was so much worse than actually getting rejected--but the second rejection really got to me. I think I just enjoyed the pieces that I submitted to it more, and took it personally that they weren't accepted. (This video came at such a great time, because I literally just got the rejection email a few days ago.) I think I inherently knew that entering a creative career meant I would be rejected a lot, but I couldn't really process what that rejection would feel like. Watching this video makes me think that its okay that I was rejected, and it's also okay that I'm upset about it because I now have the opportunity to work through my emotions and to question how I think about rejection. Hopefully each time I'm rejected I'll be able to get closer to that true neutral state.
Yeah, but everything is about doing it, I've gone through lots of It's over times in my life and the thing is everything changes and it mostly about you being the center of your story, be the hero in your book, yep, shit happens, people are mean, illness can get you, determination, perseverance, showing up, pleasing yourself, and watching for openings, miracles, being grateful and thankful for even the small amount of whatever it is can be completely wonderful. I did an art show years ago, no one bought any of them, I was criticized for them when I brought them out of storage, I moved so I had to toss them, but, I have the memory of making them, learned about doing them and enjoyed them myself. The rejection of them was well to be honest just one of many things during that time that was hard on me. But, I had enough courage to go ahead, and now I'm becoming an artist again, and this time I will not make the same mistakes, I know I will make different ones, like aiming for a target, each time you adjust. Neutrality is an essential quality, like saying I don't know, it's hard to bend, but it makes life so much easier to be the wind, rather than the tree. Love you two. I hope you got my check. Best
I loved this! “Use ur imagination for good instead of evil”. What a gem!!!! When I was playing music in Austin I found it really interesting that as a singer songwriter on a stage that WHILE I was singing And playing guitar I could Also have my mind Talking to me!!!😝I would project onto a person not smiling in the audience, and it would say “ they can’t believe She /I got this gig”. Or “she sux how’d she get this gig??” Or just how I wasn’t good enough. Even when I was consistently playing Every week 2 -5x a week!☹️I still felt not good enough. I even wrote a song about that called “Good Enough”! 😂🤷♀️and ps the person that I would pick out of the audience as not liking me was Always the One who’d come up and want to buy my CD! Or tell me they loved my voice or songs etc crazy how we can have 100 people love u and one that Might not like u is the one u focus on! Loved this vid. Thank you guys!!!😘😍
Excellent wisdom as usual. I think that if i am to be really honest with myself, that this issue is actually core to my reason for having "betrayed" my talents for my whole life and never previously pursued being an artist. I've always been able to conjure very sensible excuses, and inly just now has it really clicked that I've been hiding behind them. Thank you again for sharing your insights. And for what it's worth, I'm in the camp with those who like both your faces. So I reject the idea that you should be rejected. 😉
I sometimes am my own rejecter. What I mean is that I sometimes create pieces that I don't like when they are finished. Those same pieces are sometimes absolutely loved by others. So I realized that not everyone has the same tastes - so I don't worry about if someone doesn't like something because someone else might love it.
The ones who reject you are just jealous so if they dont feed, freak or finance you....its just an opinion and they can stick it where the sun dont shine....i live watching your videos and have taken advice you have given for artist and use it to my best abilities...so thank you
Wow this is a great way to look at it! I tend to hang ALL my hopes and dreams and self worth on each and everything that I do! ...there are a lot of ups and downs..I really love this healthy outlook I think it will help me!! ....also I love both your faces!
I look at rejection as OK my work isn't your taste similar to going to a shopping mall and going from shop to shop seeking for that perfect garment or piece of jewellery. Yesterday I picked up a in a charity shop a fab piece of artwork, it was calling me had nowhere to hang it but brought it anyway. Klee you brighten my day 😅😅😅
Great video! Love your guys’ positivity and humor. I can tell Ralfi has his moments you know he’s gonna bust out laughing cause Klee is so comical. Love it! 😊 love the creative analogies. When I started concert band wayyy back in 6th grade my band teacher wanted more trumpet players. I wanted to be a flute player and my sister gave me her flute too. That teacher told me I had trumpet lips cause I didn’t have the perfect flat smooth looking flute lips like models have. I had a dip in my upper lip. But I loved the sound of the flute 🎶 and I practiced my heart out just to prove that band director wrong! I won several awards in middle school and got my name put on a plaque. I was even the only freshman picked for the junior/senior band in the fall of high school. The high school band directors were scouting in the spring at my middle school and witnessed my talent in a solo. All my friends had to try out for jr/sr concert band but I never had to. 😊 My graphic design portfolio has been rejected multiple times from ad agencies but I continue to work as a full time graphic designer in a big newspaper corporation . My fine artwork (Pyrography 🔥) hasn’t found its market completely yet. But I keep plugging away every day. You can find my artwork on Instagram @cordial_greetings
Rejection used to bother me now I seek it out cause I end up a tougher person afther. As a musician it realy helps me focus when I can just let that rejection go. Some people are just into diferent things.
i was never really nervous about sharing my work i think probably because i started art at a young age, although i did use to be nervous of people watching me create, i felt like my unfinished work was not good enough and it would distract me so much that i could not concentrate properly. it doesn't bother me so much now i even make youtube videos of me drawing and painting although i can still find rl watching distracting but i think its just because of it being any distraction not about my actual work. Since there has been social media and a way to actually connect to other artists, i have noticed how insecure a lot of people are, i see many people who do not try at all because they think they are not good enough its so sad, such a waste. i think the best thing we can do for other creatives, the whole art community and also ourselves is to make sure we like and comment on things when we think the artest/crafter has done a good job. i know its not always easy with the time it takes but just a few here and there. dont get caught up on the style you like or whether they are fashionable give people appreciation for doing well, i particularly like to comment telling people they have done well if they are a new artist that are weary of sharing, most times people are way better then they think too. when people ignore their fears and try and actually let themselves enjoy it they can progress really quickly. i also make sure to like and comment real hand drawn pieces it takes a lot more time and effort and a lot more goes into these pieces so it is way more disheartening when you get less comments then say a handmade tag that has been slapped together in 10 minutes.
You should see some of the cr%p that's considered "Masterpieces" at the Museums and galleries in NYC, where I live. I find it personally insulting. Ars gratia artis...
Love it! It is like stage fright for musicians, you have to play the scenario over in your head and think even with the worse case you will survive the event. You will live and learn, move on and get better. Or say 'f%!%! it, let it roll off you like water off a duck's back. Everyone makes mistakes. We are human. Embrace rejection like it is apart of your journey. And by the way, I hate employee reviews because to me it is 'rejection', but I realized it was better to find out what you were doing wrong so you could get better. What you don't want is no feedback and loosing a job without knowing 'why'. I hate that also. Thank you for sharing!
Experience: I played congas in a trio. I studied flute in college but got stage fright and walked away from music, till I took up percussion. Learning percussion and loving it helped me get my confidence back performing. We did a Paul Simon song and I was going to take a 'break' from congas to play a piccolo solo that is in the song. I freaked, made a couple of 'fart' sounds, stumbled through the solo, went back into the groove on congas. Everyone in the bar was toasted by then and no one reacted by booing or throwing beer bottles. I was shaken by my mistake but I kept playing congas and we ended the song. My best rejection: On our break, a 6' 4 inch off duty policeman told me he liked the 'skin flute' I had played... I just laughed. He laughed. Best rejection ever. Sometime later in the next set, a really drunk woman yelled, "We love the Woman!"... It was Hysterically funny. And later someone told me I sounded like Mama Cass Elliot when I sang. I was happy best night ever for me because I knew that they liked the trio and the worst case scenario of blowing the piccolo solo was not that bad. I survived the embarrassment the audience forgave me. My band members did also, but I learned I had to work harder to get that solo so it didn't unnerve me. I still get nervous when I play my flute.
@@Rafiwashere I had a flute professor tell me that you practice and practice and you get 30% of the good during the performance. So you learn to practice your weak spots. Slow it down to like half the speed, practice til you can nail it down. Speed it up till you almost can't play it. Then put it at the correct tempo. And something I learned. Never play something back stage before you play it live in front of the audience, it is like you have nothing to play after you are done with it back stage. Another fall on my face moment on flute that I learned. You have to have your heart in it, live in the moment... or you get memory blocks, stumbles, distractions. Never watch the audience watch you.
Oh, that always gets me in trouble. I was in a classical trio also. We played a nursing home. I started watching the audience and one lady kept sticking her tongue out and back in. I don't think she was aware of how distracting that was, she was tuned to a different frequency than everyone else. You can't read music when you are watching the audience. LOL.
Thank you so much for this video! Really helpful. This year I finally stopped working for someone else, and now I am working on my new Artist career. I tend to not let people know what I do. I know, that I shouldn't be like that. You guys gave me some great ideas going foward,
Lmao....I was sooooo tempted to click "thumbs down" just to be "that person"...you guys were tempting me 😂😂....I resisted the dark side *phew* Love your video/vlog work Rafi & Klee It's such a wonderfully human quirky normalcy for me to feel invited to participate ...thanx for creating such an awesomely supportive community *thumbs up* 👍👍👍😂💜💙
Oh my GOSH your entro song cracked me up! Totally laughed 😂 out loud. To the negative naysayers...SHUT YO FACE! We positive people love you both AND your close up face. It's makes you feel up close and personal Rafi. You both have inspired me as a new artistin the last year. I can't thank you enough, you feel like my friends and mentors. Love you both!
Wow this is so true. I procrastination for weeks on my commissions sometimes before i show the client. Recently i had a word with myself and now I say to myself" its just business. If they dont like it, its just business. Ill fix it, during business hours" instead of spending all night stressing about it. Theres an art walk i want to do and every year i apply with my updated cv and i get rejected every year. I used to take forever over it and then get really upset when i got rejected. This year i was all " ok might as well apply" the rejection email was fine it was just business. I applied for a good juried show and put my energies into that, and I got in. Obviously that was just business also ( but i secretly did feel a bit good). By the way Klee could never make a crap turd jingle, they are great, I sing them all the time-my staff probably wonder wtf 🙂
Rejected! JK I make so many excuses not to post things because I don't want to bother anyone. Which is such a weird way to think. Getting over it everyday! Well, trying to. Awesome video guys
Personally I have a ton of mental illnesses that have the symptom of fear of rejection, which is why all my doctors think it's ironic I'm a full time artist. But I've learned something about rejection from years of battling it. If people are rejecting you, it means you either need to reflect on something to improve on... Or they're secretly reflecting their own personal flaws onto you/your works, thus rejecting them. OR, they just don't like you/your work personally and there's nothing you can do about it, and that's okay, people can have a differing opinion about things. So I always ask these if someone criticizes my work: "What do you not like about my work? What could I do to improve on my work? Would you be interested in working with me to create a piece that would better suit your interests?" (Obviously not as formally, but you get the idea.) Cause it tells me which of the above three it is, and if maybe there could be a new fan that's just not found what they're looking for but wishes they could and is upset about it. Since my demographic is kids, a lot of kids will show frustration as their way of being like "I want this, but it's not here, I want you to make this, but I don't know how to ask!" (And some adults can do that too~) That's just me though, personally, and how I deal with it.
Hey Rafi , another good video , I used to fear rejection , applied to many galleries and received tons generic rejection letters , all I have kept (thinking of creating an art piece with them) , fast forward to today , now these galleries are approaching me , I will say hold on (flip through and find their letter) …. and reject them. so in my case it just made me work harder and develop my creative process.
@@Rafiwashere hey again Rafi , thank you for your response , very much appreciated , I am now just catching up on you and Klee's very entertaining videos , very real and informative , do you have any livestreams coming up in the future
Mmm.. my composer musician dad always taught me if the front door is locked, go around the back. Check is it locked shut or ajar...? Dad became a copyright manager for a record company and famous artists sought him out. I havent got my head around the marketing and dealt with rejection yet.. but i hope id apply this theory.
I wish I had a good story about overcoming fear of rejection, but I don’t. I used to be braver, I used to submit to shows, sometimes got in, sometimes not. But about 5 years ago I went through a traumatic experience that left me questioning every single decision I’d ever made, and since then I can’t, and won’t, finish anything I make. I start lots of stuff and then throw it away because in my mind I know it won’t be good enough to show and will be rejected so why bother to even get that far. It’s paralyzing. I still create and make because I must, it’s the only way I stay sane. But to take something all the way to finished and then to put it out there, no, I just don’t feel like I will ever be brave enough to do that again. I feel sad about it, but feel worse when I think about the possibility of rejection.
And by the way, not all critics are offensive- I have learned a lot from rejection comments and critiques that are thoughtful, and even when they aren't I try to remember I am not rejected, my WORK is rejected... and there's a lot more to me than the paintings and sculptures I produce.
Not a one “thumb down”! 😊 Another great video that I’m glad that I watched. As you both have rejected rejection can you please do a video of your art, what inspired the piece(s), medium used and why you like (or don’t like) the piece. Love your face n jingle jangle away! ♥️
Working with the public can be hazardous to your self esteem! What is important to remember is that your artwork has been judged NOT you! You do not have to justify yourself as a person, to justify your artwork. Try to please the client and make sure they give you good instruction to begin with, asking questions and refining the project is the best way to avoid bad feelings on both sides.
Hey you two, I've been a long time junk store junkie throughout the years..... And it always used to crack me up when I'd found a vinyl album of songs by Yul Brynner, Burl Ives, Telly Savalas, Arnold Schwarzenegger (ok, maybe he didn't do an album?🤔)..... But I never new these guys could sing. ...😃 I did pass on their records, but it was interesting to know that they put themselves out there to explore other options/avenues .... Why limit yourself. Some say Madonna can't sing, but she's one heck of a performance artist. Well, Chow🙋, from one of your biggest fans.🤩
I was in a pageant in Texas. There wasn't a swimsuit part (Why I participated, very positive message to not put teens and kids in swinsuits.) But this was the time before Beauty gurus...and I didn't know how to makeup. Or you know .. anything pageanty in the first place. But I did it. And I learned how to ask people for money. Lol. "Sponsorship." Get over your fears, and you learn something.
I thought it was the sock monster who took my socks - that, or my cat.... Thank you, I didn't know that "Rejection S. Monster" was his actual name.... Makes alot of sense... And Rafi, you just go on singing....(Yes, go on, with your bad self.)
Hmmm, this is exactly what I wrote to you about. 1) Today I realized that I shared that picture but was still in grief of my Mother passing. 2) That fear froze me and I didn't do another drawing for 2 years (eek). 3) Now I've picked up my pencils and a wild sunflower is in my future. 4) I decided that some will love my work, some won't, so what, some will. If the rejectors don't like what I'm doing, let me see them do better --- seeing them do better will give me a chance to learn. MAKE it an Awesome Day!
When I first started cajon-box-drumming, I was determined to do inside-out Black Sabbat style drumming (no I don't listen to Black Sabbath anymore, I'm super Christian now... perhaps I'll be rejected for saying so...) and so my first time out I was hand drumming experimentally, in front of the audience, and it was not so good as I would have liked it to be. I was afraid of being rejected, which I probably silently was, yet I faced that fear, and a sweet couple told me how much they liked my drumming, so what I was aiming at got across to some extant. Ultimately, I rejected that way of doing it because it did not serve the songs of the singer-songwriter I was performing with, and I wanted to do stuff that I could better practice and really give the whole audience a good time. So, I still refused to simply keep a beat, and decided instead to assess the character of each song and then bring that out as much as possible. I chose to orchestrate but with bolder (broad stroke) simpler musicality, and to use super-precision and rock-n-roll style micro-rhythms to hook the audience sunconciously and give them something excellent. With some practice (and a super-easy instrument) when I went out again I was very satisfied with what I was doimg from then on out, and audiences loved it too, which is important because they were investing their valuable time. I suppose the moral is that honest artistic self-assesment can lead the way to fulfilling choices... or something. A whole'nother rejection story: Now I like to share my unique perspectives, and people often think I'm weird, silly, foolish, arrogant, pretentious, delusional, and/or insane. Occasionally people apprectiate it. If I were to try to manipulate how people percieve me, I would be dishonest. That would repress me, hold back what I have to offer, and I would not be satisfied with myself if I were dishonest. Really, my whole perspective now is fully based on Truth God Jesus, but I try to be honest without getting preachy to those who did not ask for preaching (unless it's a debate appropriate forum, then I go all out, bwa ha Ha-llelujah), so I'll leave it at that. For me, fear of what others thought caused unjustified self-doubts within myself; within as in I was owning these self-doubts and they were not even mine. Reminds me of the Green Day lyric from the old song "She": " She She's figured ou-out that all her doubts were someone else's point of vie-iew. She's wa- -king up this ti-ime to smash the silence with the brick of self contro-ooooolll..." (Don't listen to Green Day anymote either) That false self-doubt was my adversary. So self-honesty, through Truth became self trust, and I was set free. Rafi, I like your face close to the camera. Such a friendly smooth casual pleasant face, pretty much desscribes your voice and attitude too. And Clea's chime-ins are excellent too, I would describe her the same way, and the dynamic with you both is so very fun. So much freedom in, and offering from, you two. As always, the advice is very good also. Thanks for inviting us all to share our stories.
But the zombies are so strong and loud. LOL. Thank you for this vid. I'm getting better at overcoming this as I get rejected or fail or have major disappointments repeatedly over my art this year. I shall beat you, evil zombies! Or at least learn to coexist. I figure this year must be a "forge my armor" year. Have a great day, Rafi and Klee!
Seriously, though. Thanks. I do put my art out there but have a very major fear of rejection and am still learning to get past it when I feel rejected, even if I probably wasn't. I think fear of rejection also plays into the not feeling good enough. So, I'm practicing. I've yet to have any rejection be an 'awesome experience'. lol. Baby steps.
I spent decades as an art director and creative director and “rejection” was part of our daily experience. What I learned from that was that my work wasn’t getting rejected because of my lack of talent, it was getting rejected usually due to the client having a preference that wasn’t defined. Emotion is always a driver of creative and even in a professional environment where goals, objectives, emotional direction, etc. are all outlined in a creative brief, a client can change their mind for a reason they can’t articulate. There are ways to help clients through that process in the design world, but it’s not something fine artists would spend their time on. My point is that (having had a great deal of experience being rejected for creative work) the “rejection” really isn’t about you or your work. There will be people that have a preference for your work and there will be people who won’t. Some people feel like a nut, sometimes they don’t. The funny thing I’ve run into was now that I’m concentrating on producing fine art, all the fear of rejection started to boil up and I was afraid to put my work out there because I didn’t want the haters hating, which I feared would happen in droves. It didn’t. Now I’d welcome a little hate because maybe I’d get more engagement! OK, just kidding. 😉 Thanks for starting this discussion. Klee, I think your jingles rock!
" I know I said I wanted an apple... but I meant a retro style computer, not a fruit!" lol . IF only clients clarified so clearly.
@@elizabethlaws9128 Exactly! it's the old thing about giving people what they asked for instead of being a mind-reader and giving them what they really want.
I use to be really nervous posting on social media because my art would not get very many likes and I would track if my likes went up or down form one post to the other and over analyze what I could have done better. After a while i just stop posting. Then I told myself if just one person gives it a like or makes a comment it means my work impacted them in a positive way. So it's worth posting even if it is just for that one other person. Now I have like 5 people on my Instagram that will like my work on a regular basis. So I make art for myself, but I share it with them. It may not be a huge following, but having them like my work now makes my day.
5 is a start. More will find you. Your art will find it's way into more and more hearts. :-)
@@gusmonster59 Thank you for the encouragement!!
Returning to college at age 65 to complete my BSN. Talk about fear of rejection!! There were a lot of "kids" who had a look on their faces like wtf?, and then there were those who just seemed to want to hang out and get to know me. A few of those kiddos have actually become great young friends that I still keep in touch with.
I returned to college at age 70, taking a pre-requisite Color and Design class. According to my professor, I led the class to be the strongest class she has ever taught, as I was fearless in firing up the discussions and motivating them to choose strong, even risky messages for their work. I was also, according to my professor, the only person in her 8 years of teaching the class to receive 100% scores. The first day I thought I might struggle in the class and wound up being their leader. But I was highly disappointed in their overall laziness, timidity and excuse making. I hope that changes as they grow older and wiser.
You should find a copy of "Old in Art School" - it's a great book
THEY DON'T BUILD STATUES OF CRITICS!
Love this. I will keep this in mind in future.
Delano Green a brilliant statement!
Delano Green they might to Jerry Saltz!
Elizabeth Hepola Roth Hope not,that guys a talentless hack
An old master painter told me once that about 25% of people will hate your art, 50% will not care, and 25% will like it. He then said to focus mostly on the 25% that like your art and just try to ignore the rest.
I know this video is well over a year old but I just found y'all. I gotta tell ya, I broke down and cried while I was watching this video. I think I really needed an emotional release. Man, oh man, do I feel better. I have tried many times over the years to start my art career. I dropped out of college when I was young and then years later, late 20s, I dropped out of art school. When things get hard I just quit. I am not doing that anymore. I've worked in the restaurant industry for years and now, finally at 51 years young I am doing this. I'm doing me, who I want to be. I am working on my art career. My therapist is helping me face my fears and set goals. I am forming a loose and flexible plan. Every seemingly negative hurtle is really just a learning experience. With my positive mind set, these learning experiences will only make me stronger. Thank you, both, so very much for all that you do. From the bottom of my little ol' heart, I love y'all.
When I was in college one of the classes we had to take as a senior was an art critique class. A whole hour of bashing each others work basically. We would just be awful & cruel to each other when we were critiquing. Thats what the professor wanted. Even if the art was a fantastic masterpiece we had to find something we didn't like about it & basically RIP each others work apart. (Obviously we would go over the good too) Then the art professor would join in as the last critique & would tell us the good & bad. When we first started many of us would go back to our rooms & cry. 😭 But by the end of the semester we had tough skins & knew which critiques to ignore & which ones to take to heart & go back & rework our piece. I actually miss those classes now, I think it made me a better artist. Now I have NO FEEDBACK and it can be frustrating because sometimes I feel stuck on a piece or I'm not seeing the improvement I need. So if someone doesn't like my work I ask them WHY & if they come up with a stupid answer I reject their rejection, but if it is a good reason I can use that for my betterment. Obviously not everyone will have the same opinions when it comes to art, but you can learn a great deal from those experiences. 😁
BRILLIANT video!!!! Raif you should be a counsellor! Thanks for that. I now have a mantra which is “we are just not a good fit. Your opinion has nothing to do with me as an empowered human”. Thanks so much for giving me strength
My standard line is “ well, I am not for everybody”. And that is Ok with me.
I'm in Liverpool UK and in 1979 when I was 12 trying to be a punk rocker, I painted my fender strat copy guitar that exact colour Rafi. You took me back with that intro.
You are both an inspiration not just to your subscribers / viewers but more importantly to one another. That right there is your success, regardless of how your creative paths meander to meaningfulness. Happiness is never more than a room away when you're with the person you love.
Rejection is just a cloud in your blue sky of your dreams, it may dull your light for a little while but ultimately, it will dissapate and your blue sky of dreams will still always be there, just more beautiful.
Make memories folks. xx
Gary.
PS. I became a professional film composer. All you folks struggling... ignore the critics, believe in your creativity, it works. Critics don't.
Hi so true. It took my parents and Two professionals to meet me and believe in me. Gee I started on a life journey and in the end I am an ART CREATIVE. Wow and people criticed me to my face and behind my back. I stood tall and carried on regardless and i came up tops. Yes their all still doing it all tough and I did it all and enjoyed the whole journey.
I’ve recently been rejected by fellow artists after (one) live painting auction. Thanks for making this video! Makes me wanna die less!
I have SO MANY STORIES! But I'll keep it to two:
One of my daughters catches me doing what she calls "catastrophizing", IOW, I think only of the worst that could happen. She makes me switch it to what if the BEST thing happened? It beings perspective and helps me realize that the actual result will be done mix of good and not so good, but probably mostly good.
Secondly, my older daughter and I were once playing at a local event. During the performance we got completely lost from one another in the music. When we finally ended, we were so embarrassed with ourselves and not looking forward to the conversations after the show.
Interestingly, NO ONE NOTICED BUT US! We actually had people come up to us with tears in their eyes saying "that was the most beautiful performance!"
The lesson in that is... People hear and see what they want to. If you are rejected, it just means they don't see or hear what they want in your stuff... Nothing more than that.
I used to refrain from posting my stuff online or putting myself out there because of how afraid I was. I’m still afraid, but now I fight that fear. I found a book which helps a lot to motivate me on the harder days: “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway” by Susan Jeffers. The topic is simple: don’t wait for the fear to go away to do what you love because the fear always happens.
It’s difficult sometimes. Some days I feel overcome by the idea that I’m a fake and and a failure and I’ll never amount to anything. But always I fight to get back up and to keep going regardless.
Facing one’s fears is trying and scary, but the rewards of doing the work that makes you feel alive are so worth it.
That’s my two cents. 😛
I've got 30 years of rejection under my belt.... and STILL painting! Booya!
MORE time to get BETTER!
As a graphic designer, rejection was often down to the client playing safe and afraid to be innovative. Id have to reign myself in. As an artist i dont have to do ir.
I thought of rejection at the begining when I began self publishing my work, but then I thought this is my success, and I'm not letting anyone get in the way. Never let anyone get in the way of accomplishing your goals. This is your success.
For me learning that my choices in life were rejected behind my back by family was upsetting. Eventually I realised it doesn't matter, and I should just be myself and continue on my journey in life. Becoming a stay at home mom with my own business is hard and not everyone understands it, but it's me. Not everyone consider Artisan Soaps as art but for me it is my creative outlet. 😁
I love reading your comments section. Your peeps are almost as positive and creative as you two. I would be shocked to ever read a negative comment. Keep on doing what your doing as it clearly works for you with enough left over for all of us. You are inspirational in so many ways.
It’s rare to get valuable information and professional style entertainment in a UA-cam channel but you guys rock and are so good together! Thanks for your hard work in making these videos! 🙂🙂
Omg I go through this daily... My whole family thinks I'm stupid and a loser for pursuing arts and not being in nursing school. But I just cant deny who I am. My father asked sarcastically: So, you're gonna make a living out of drawing pigeons??!. Smh.. But the fact that I keep getting so much opposition inspires me to go at it harder. I haven't succeeded yet lmao.. But I just cant help to create. So that's what I do lol.. Btw Klee, I love your voice!!, "the long silence" is a beautiful song!❤❤
Such a great video! I think so many of us, creatives and non-creatives alike, are foiled by our fears. First of all, your videos really helped to inspire me to move forward with my own creations/art, so thank you for that. I still struggle with fear of rejection more than anything, but am learning ways to deal with it. My biggest help has been to think of the fact that there will always be someone out there who doesn't like what you do and that the people who don't like you are always the first to speak up and are usually the loudest. Thinking that helps me to look through their comments and rejections and hone in on the type of people who do like my work. I think, okay, I obviously didn't reach them with what I'm doing, but whom did I reach? It also helps to have a good support group and a good sense of self. I know who I am, I know what I want, and the cruel words of others have no influence on that. Them saying I'm a bad writer or a bad artist doesn't mean that I am a bad person - it still stings, but it doesn't change me.
I really loved this video! Thank you! I'm facing the rejection monster right now, only he's telling me I'm a fraud and if I put stuff out there then EVERYONE will find out. I will just have to give him the same mantra that I have for depression. "You are a lying liar." Intellectually, I know that I know my stuff. When I think about it, instead of letting my feelings of self worth determine my actions, I know that I'm not a fraud. So thank you both :)
Ah! The good old impostor syndrome. What I learnt in both my graphic design and IT careers is that almost everybody is winging it, most of the time, just doing their best.
A thought I had while watching this is to combine it with your previously mentioned approach to your work and how you make a piece for someone and it's just a matter of waiting for that someone to find it.(love that approach by the way) If you get rejected putting your art out there...well...you now know who that piece isn't for. That way the rejection can play out as more of an "ok this piece that I am proud of wasn't a fit for you" versus a more common "I am a garbage loser face with no creative value to anyone!!" stance.
I'm starting now to apply to local galleries. And my first impulse is to think my series is not good enough for galleries, I have to produce another series and apply after, I tend to postpone all the time. But this time I said screw it...what's the worst it can happen, get depressed and paint even more with a vengeance 😂😂😂
The *rejection* topic is so appropriate for my current frozen stasis ! You both describe the toxic thinking scenarios so well, and give such wonderful warm support to those of us (most) experiencing this....and the comments on the thread are *hold* ....such an incredible community here...thanx 👍
...lmao....edit check before pressing post
Soo " hold" was actually supposed to be *gold* ...this community and Rafi & Klee are *gold*
You guys are awesome. Rafi should absolutely keep singing. Do it everyday. Thanks for this video! That’s a super helpful, real-life formula for thinking about where you find your value. It’s super helpful to recognize the difference between your work and yourSELF. Blessings and more to you!!
YOUR FACE!
Is actually reasonably pleasant to look at. And I admire your light you shine so brightly for all of UA-cam to see. Thank you for all of your helpful input on these deeper things.
I get knocked down, but I get up again 🎵🎶. Yep, that’s now stuck in my head 🖤. Great advice guys! I struggle with rejection from time to time. I love the logic of “we’re not the right fit”. Sometimes, people have ideas that we creatives just honestly can’t “picture”. We like to think we can do all & be all... but that’s just unrealistic. Heck, sometimes even my husband & I just don’t “picture” what the other does when conceptualizing a piece of art or a project.
I love how you basically describe Marcus Aurelius's version of stoicism practice. :D Ancient Greeks and Romans, still influencing the art world millennia later.
I no longer worry about the rejection. I expect a certain amount of resistance to what I’m about to do, you’ve seen it. My biggest hurdle is to find people that believe in me enough to get the word out when I launch my store.
I reject those who reject! Create on!
My story goes like this...There was this annual art show that I really, really wanted to be a part of but unfortunately, was consistently turned down, 5 times as matter of fact. Then it happened, 2 of my submissions were accepted. For me, 6th time was a charm. 1st time I was rejected, I was bummed out & depressed but when the next time came around I was determined to try again, then again, and again for the next 5 years until the judges felt my work was good enough to be put in the show. Thanks to both of you for such informative videos.
Thank you for the beautiful & lighthearted encouragement 💚🌷🐇
tempted to hit the thumbs down just to see if the universe tears apart... but I can't. :D
Hahaha! Too funny. Glad you didn't though.. what if?
@@lisastevens3104 have to find the Avengers to put it back together...
Rejection is a natural thing as long as you’re not taking it personally.
It takes time to overcome the old story in our heads.
At the core, nobody can reject us without our permission.
It’s a messed thing that kept creatives blocked for decades.
It takes courage to show your work.
Also, the bashers are projecting their pain because they’re blocked themselves.
Plus, I don’t listen to people who criticize my work especially if they are not creating art. FO! 😂🧿💥
Perfect!
I was only rejected by people that did not have an open mind. They only wanted certain colors, styles or prices. I just moved on. Now, I can't find enough time in the year just to keep up with all the other stores that want my product.
Hey Rafi and Klee. Love your channel! I was stood behind some people looking at my paintings in a gallery, and heard them TOTALLY slate my work. One guy said "Give me £100 and I'll do a much better job than that!" They didn't know I was the artist. You should have seen the look on their face when I said " Well, I guess my style doesn't appeal to everybody. Have a nice day!" 🤣🤣🤣 screw haters!
this is an awesome vid! I I appreciate the wisdom from both of you. How do I deal with rejection? based on art. … I love to handcraft. and I have absolutely no problem gifting it. but to sell...(and I have thought of it) this is something I have yet to follow through on. having someone say "oh your work isn't worth that price. would …. let me just say I do not have a poker face. regardless there would be no purchasing that day!.
Don't tie your sense of self or self worth with others opinions and intentions ❤️ Thank you. Your videos are amazing. I am slowly making my way through your video library. 😂 A Rafi video a day keeps the worries and paralyzing crap turds away.
I found rejection helped steer me in a creative direction I hadn't considered. I always try to analyse my fears to help me improve my work. Eg. If I think a technique I'm using is not great, I'll either work on it to get better at it, or experiment and research to find a better way of doing it. Rejection/criticism can be a great thing for creativity if you approach it with positivity. Love you guys xx
Klee you have such a happy smile , I smile too. I'm a weirdo artist because I'm a haunter and I love it . It is the greatest creative outlet I have found( I've tried many). I don't want an art career. I am far too left brained, but without a creative space I die a little inside and I like you guys videos
I have no fear of rejection and failure as an artist, but as an individual, as a person I have no fear of missing out because I want to be an independent artist as a career and I'm driven to do it. :)
This summer I started applying to gallery shows for the first time. I applied to four all around the same time. I was accepted into one, rejected from two, and haven't heard either way from the last. When I got my first rejection I was proud of myself because I felt very at peace with the decision. It seemed like the fear of rejection was so much worse than actually getting rejected--but the second rejection really got to me. I think I just enjoyed the pieces that I submitted to it more, and took it personally that they weren't accepted. (This video came at such a great time, because I literally just got the rejection email a few days ago.) I think I inherently knew that entering a creative career meant I would be rejected a lot, but I couldn't really process what that rejection would feel like. Watching this video makes me think that its okay that I was rejected, and it's also okay that I'm upset about it because I now have the opportunity to work through my emotions and to question how I think about rejection. Hopefully each time I'm rejected I'll be able to get closer to that true neutral state.
Yeah, but everything is about doing it, I've gone through lots of It's over times in my life and the thing is everything changes and it mostly about you being the center of your story, be the hero in your book, yep, shit happens, people are mean, illness can get you, determination, perseverance, showing up, pleasing yourself, and watching for openings, miracles, being grateful and thankful for even the small amount of whatever it is can be completely wonderful. I did an art show years ago, no one bought any of them, I was criticized for them when I brought them out of storage, I moved so I had to toss them, but, I have the memory of making them, learned about doing them and enjoyed them myself. The rejection of them was well to be honest just one of many things during that time that was hard on me. But, I had enough courage to go ahead, and now I'm becoming an artist again, and this time I will not make the same mistakes, I know I will make different ones, like aiming for a target, each time you adjust. Neutrality is an essential quality, like saying I don't know, it's hard to bend, but it makes life so much easier to be the wind, rather than the tree. Love you two. I hope you got my check. Best
perfect let me know about book and I will send more. Be blessed
I loved this! “Use ur imagination for good instead of evil”. What a gem!!!! When I was playing music in Austin I found it really interesting that as a singer songwriter on a stage that WHILE I was singing And playing guitar I could Also have my mind Talking to me!!!😝I would project onto a person not smiling in the audience, and it would say “ they can’t believe She /I got this gig”. Or “she sux how’d she get this gig??” Or just how I wasn’t good enough. Even when I was consistently playing Every week 2 -5x a week!☹️I still felt not good enough. I even wrote a song about that called “Good Enough”! 😂🤷♀️and ps the person that I would pick out of the audience as not liking me was Always the One who’d come up and want to buy my CD! Or tell me they loved my voice or songs etc crazy how we can have 100 people love u and one that Might not like u is the one u focus on! Loved this vid. Thank you guys!!!😘😍
Excellent wisdom as usual.
I think that if i am to be really honest with myself, that this issue is actually core to my reason for having "betrayed" my talents for my whole life and never previously pursued being an artist. I've always been able to conjure very sensible excuses, and inly just now has it really clicked that I've been hiding behind them.
Thank you again for sharing your insights.
And for what it's worth, I'm in the camp with those who like both your faces.
So I reject the idea that you should be rejected. 😉
I sometimes am my own rejecter. What I mean is that I sometimes create pieces that I don't like when they are finished. Those same pieces are sometimes absolutely loved by others. So I realized that not everyone has the same tastes - so I don't worry about if someone doesn't like something because someone else might love it.
Great rejection videos. A lot of critics get a rush by criticizing others who at least are trying!
The ones who reject you are just jealous so if they dont feed, freak or finance you....its just an opinion and they can stick it where the sun dont shine....i live watching your videos and have taken advice you have given for artist and use it to my best abilities...so thank you
Wow this is a great way to look at it! I tend to hang ALL my hopes and dreams and self worth on each and everything that I do! ...there are a lot of ups and downs..I really love this healthy outlook I think it will help me!! ....also I love both your faces!
I loved this video so much! So helpful and spot on as always. You guys are awesome.
I look at rejection as OK my work isn't your taste similar to going to a shopping mall and going from shop to shop seeking for that perfect garment or piece of jewellery. Yesterday I picked up a in a charity shop a fab piece of artwork, it was calling me had nowhere to hang it but brought it anyway. Klee you brighten my day 😅😅😅
Great video! Love your guys’ positivity and humor. I can tell Ralfi has his moments you know he’s gonna bust out laughing cause Klee is so comical. Love it! 😊 love the creative analogies.
When I started concert band wayyy back in 6th grade my band teacher wanted more trumpet players. I wanted to be a flute player and my sister gave me her flute too. That teacher told me I had trumpet lips cause I didn’t have the perfect flat smooth looking flute lips like models have. I had a dip in my upper lip. But I loved the sound of the flute 🎶 and I practiced my heart out just to prove that band director wrong! I won several awards in middle school and got my name put on a plaque. I was even the only freshman picked for the junior/senior band in the fall of high school. The high school band directors were scouting in the spring at my middle school and witnessed my talent in a solo. All my friends had to try out for jr/sr concert band but I never had to. 😊
My graphic design portfolio has been rejected multiple times from ad agencies but I continue to work as a full time graphic designer in a big newspaper corporation . My fine artwork (Pyrography 🔥) hasn’t found its market completely yet. But I keep plugging away every day.
You can find my artwork on Instagram @cordial_greetings
In the end it is better to regret something you did than regret something you didn't do. BTW ... Bob Dylan sings, you can too!
Agree on Bob Dylan.
That was the funniest opening...😂😂😂😂 great words of wisdom!
Rejection used to bother me now I seek it out cause I end up a tougher person afther. As a musician it realy helps me focus when I can just let that rejection go. Some people are just into diferent things.
i was never really nervous about sharing my work i think probably because i started art at a young age, although i did use to be nervous of people watching me create, i felt like my unfinished work was not good enough and it would distract me so much that i could not concentrate properly. it doesn't bother me so much now i even make youtube videos of me drawing and painting although i can still find rl watching distracting but i think its just because of it being any distraction not about my actual work. Since there has been social media and a way to actually connect to other artists, i have noticed how insecure a lot of people are, i see many people who do not try at all because they think they are not good enough its so sad, such a waste. i think the best thing we can do for other creatives, the whole art community and also ourselves is to make sure we like and comment on things when we think the artest/crafter has done a good job. i know its not always easy with the time it takes but just a few here and there. dont get caught up on the style you like or whether they are fashionable give people appreciation for doing well, i particularly like to comment telling people they have done well if they are a new artist that are weary of sharing, most times people are way better then they think too. when people ignore their fears and try and actually let themselves enjoy it they can progress really quickly. i also make sure to like and comment real hand drawn pieces it takes a lot more time and effort and a lot more goes into these pieces so it is way more disheartening when you get less comments then say a handmade tag that has been slapped together in 10 minutes.
"I don't mind being dejected and rejected, but I'm not gonna be ashamed about it." - Pump Up The Volume
You should see some of the cr%p that's considered "Masterpieces" at the Museums and galleries in NYC, where I live. I find it personally insulting. Ars gratia artis...
Thank both of you for being SO REAL.
You should totally sing more often. And you guys rock!
Loved this! I have such a fear of rejection, but now I'm going to have a technique to try next time my anxiety starts to try to take over my brain.
Love it! It is like stage fright for musicians, you have to play the scenario over in your head and think even with the worse case you will survive the event. You will live and learn, move on and get better. Or say 'f%!%! it, let it roll off you like water off a duck's back. Everyone makes mistakes. We are human. Embrace rejection like it is apart of your journey. And by the way, I hate employee reviews because to me it is 'rejection', but I realized it was better to find out what you were doing wrong so you could get better. What you don't want is no feedback and loosing a job without knowing 'why'. I hate that also. Thank you for sharing!
Experience: I played congas in a trio. I studied flute in college but got stage fright and walked away from music, till I took up percussion. Learning percussion and loving it helped me get my confidence back performing. We did a Paul Simon song and I was going to take a 'break' from congas to play a piccolo solo that is in the song. I freaked, made a couple of 'fart' sounds, stumbled through the solo, went back into the groove on congas. Everyone in the bar was toasted by then and no one reacted by booing or throwing beer bottles. I was shaken by my mistake but I kept playing congas and we ended the song. My best rejection: On our break, a 6' 4 inch off duty policeman told me he liked the 'skin flute' I had played... I just laughed. He laughed. Best rejection ever. Sometime later in the next set, a really drunk woman yelled, "We love the Woman!"... It was Hysterically funny. And later someone told me I sounded like Mama Cass Elliot when I sang. I was happy best night ever for me because I knew that they liked the trio and the worst case scenario of blowing the piccolo solo was not that bad. I survived the embarrassment the audience forgave me. My band members did also, but I learned I had to work harder to get that solo so it didn't unnerve me. I still get nervous when I play my flute.
@@Rafiwashere I had a flute professor tell me that you practice and practice and you get 30% of the good during the performance. So you learn to practice your weak spots. Slow it down to like half the speed, practice til you can nail it down. Speed it up till you almost can't play it. Then put it at the correct tempo. And something I learned. Never play something back stage before you play it live in front of the audience, it is like you have nothing to play after you are done with it back stage. Another fall on my face moment on flute that I learned. You have to have your heart in it, live in the moment... or you get memory blocks, stumbles, distractions. Never watch the audience watch you.
Oh, that always gets me in trouble. I was in a classical trio also. We played a nursing home. I started watching the audience and one lady kept sticking her tongue out and back in. I don't think she was aware of how distracting that was, she was tuned to a different frequency than everyone else. You can't read music when you are watching the audience. LOL.
Thank you so much for this video! Really helpful. This year I finally stopped working for someone else, and now I am working on my new Artist career. I tend to not let people know what I do. I know, that I shouldn't be like that. You guys gave me some great ideas going foward,
Lmao....I was sooooo tempted to click "thumbs down" just to be "that person"...you guys were tempting me 😂😂....I resisted the dark side *phew*
Love your video/vlog work Rafi & Klee
It's such a wonderfully human quirky normalcy for me to feel invited to participate ...thanx for creating such an awesomely supportive community *thumbs up* 👍👍👍😂💜💙
Oh my GOSH your entro song cracked me up! Totally laughed 😂 out loud. To the negative naysayers...SHUT YO FACE! We positive people love you both AND your close up face. It's makes you feel up close and personal Rafi. You both have inspired me as a new artistin the last year. I can't thank you enough, you feel like my friends and mentors. Love you both!
Thumbs up for channel SUPPORT.
❤️your enthusiasm and great support!! You guys are fantastic!! And so cute!!
Wonderful video about dealing with rejection. You nailed it. Klee, you are fantastic and funny. Love you both!
This was good, and I think that Klee could be a standup comedian
😀
Wow this is so true. I procrastination for weeks on my commissions sometimes before i show the client. Recently i had a word with myself and now I say to myself" its just business. If they dont like it, its just business. Ill fix it, during business hours" instead of spending all night stressing about it. Theres an art walk i want to do and every year i apply with my updated cv and i get rejected every year. I used to take forever over it and then get really upset when i got rejected. This year i was all " ok might as well apply" the rejection email was fine it was just business. I applied for a good juried show and put my energies into that, and I got in. Obviously that was just business also ( but i secretly did feel a bit good). By the way Klee could never make a crap turd jingle, they are great, I sing them all the time-my staff probably wonder wtf 🙂
such a good video guys
Rejected! JK I make so many excuses not to post things because I don't want to bother anyone. Which is such a weird way to think. Getting over it everyday! Well, trying to. Awesome video guys
Great impromptuativeness! You guys have great content and you crack me up, thanks!!
Personally I have a ton of mental illnesses that have the symptom of fear of rejection, which is why all my doctors think it's ironic I'm a full time artist.
But I've learned something about rejection from years of battling it.
If people are rejecting you, it means you either need to reflect on something to improve on...
Or they're secretly reflecting their own personal flaws onto you/your works, thus rejecting them.
OR, they just don't like you/your work personally and there's nothing you can do about it, and that's okay, people can have a differing opinion about things.
So I always ask these if someone criticizes my work:
"What do you not like about my work? What could I do to improve on my work? Would you be interested in working with me to create a piece that would better suit your interests?" (Obviously not as formally, but you get the idea.)
Cause it tells me which of the above three it is, and if maybe there could be a new fan that's just not found what they're looking for but wishes they could and is upset about it. Since my demographic is kids, a lot of kids will show frustration as their way of being like "I want this, but it's not here, I want you to make this, but I don't know how to ask!" (And some adults can do that too~)
That's just me though, personally, and how I deal with it.
Hey Rafi , another good video , I used to fear rejection , applied to many galleries and received tons generic rejection letters , all I have kept (thinking of creating an art piece with them) , fast forward to today , now these galleries are approaching me , I will say hold on (flip through and find their letter) …. and reject them. so in my case it just made me work harder and develop my creative process.
@@Rafiwashere hey again Rafi , thank you for your response , very much appreciated , I am now just catching up on you and Klee's very entertaining videos , very real and informative , do you have any livestreams coming up in the future
Mmm.. my composer musician dad always taught me if the front door is locked, go around the back. Check is it locked shut or ajar...? Dad became a copyright manager for a record company and famous artists sought him out. I havent got my head around the marketing and dealt with rejection yet.. but i hope id apply this theory.
This was excellent and much needed today....
I love how fun y 2 r
❤️❤️❤️❤️
I 💕 your sense of humor🌺!!
Just found this today, when I really needed it. Thank you for making this subject so fun. It helped me so much.💖
So glad!
I wish I had a good story about overcoming fear of rejection, but I don’t. I used to be braver, I used to submit to shows, sometimes got in, sometimes not. But about 5 years ago I went through a traumatic experience that left me questioning every single decision I’d ever made, and since then I can’t, and won’t, finish anything I make. I start lots of stuff and then throw it away because in my mind I know it won’t be good enough to show and will be rejected so why bother to even get that far. It’s paralyzing. I still create and make because I must, it’s the only way I stay sane. But to take something all the way to finished and then to put it out there, no, I just don’t feel like I will ever be brave enough to do that again. I feel sad about it, but feel worse when I think about the possibility of rejection.
And by the way, not all critics are offensive- I have learned a lot from rejection comments and critiques that are thoughtful, and even when they aren't I try to remember I am not rejected, my WORK is rejected... and there's a lot more to me than the paintings and sculptures I produce.
Not a one “thumb down”! 😊
Another great video that I’m glad that I watched.
As you both have rejected rejection can you please do a video of your art, what inspired the piece(s), medium used and why you like (or don’t like) the piece.
Love your face n jingle jangle away! ♥️
Working with the public can be hazardous to your self esteem! What is important to remember is that your artwork has been judged NOT you! You do not have to justify yourself as a person, to justify your artwork. Try to please the client and make sure they give you good instruction to begin with, asking questions and refining the project is the best way to avoid bad feelings on both sides.
Rejection is just about preference. I have to understand that we are all unique individuals with varying preferences.
You guys rock! Ignore the trolls!
Hey you two, I've been a long time junk store junkie throughout the years..... And it always used to crack me up when I'd found a vinyl album of songs by Yul Brynner, Burl Ives, Telly Savalas, Arnold Schwarzenegger (ok, maybe he didn't do an album?🤔)..... But I never new these guys could sing. ...😃 I did pass on their records, but it was interesting to know that they put themselves out there to explore other options/avenues ....
Why limit yourself.
Some say Madonna can't sing, but she's one heck of a performance artist.
Well, Chow🙋, from one of your biggest fans.🤩
Word!!!
Thank you and you guys are awesome !
LOL!!! Love this one...
I was in a pageant in Texas. There wasn't a swimsuit part (Why I participated, very positive message to not put teens and kids in swinsuits.) But this was the time before Beauty gurus...and I didn't know how to makeup. Or you know .. anything pageanty in the first place.
But I did it. And I learned how to ask people for money. Lol. "Sponsorship."
Get over your fears, and you learn something.
I thought it was the sock monster who took my socks - that, or my cat....
Thank you, I didn't know that "Rejection S. Monster" was his actual name....
Makes alot of sense...
And Rafi, you just go on singing....(Yes, go on, with your bad self.)
Thank you. I am taking that neutral approach and moving forward with it. Wish me luck. lol j/k I shared this to FB. 🙂
Thank you, great video 😻
Hmmm, this is exactly what I wrote to you about. 1) Today I realized that I shared that picture but was still in grief of my Mother passing. 2) That fear froze me and I didn't do another drawing for 2 years (eek). 3) Now I've picked up my pencils and a wild sunflower is in my future. 4) I decided that some will love my work, some won't, so what, some will. If the rejectors don't like what I'm doing, let me see them do better --- seeing them do better will give me a chance to learn. MAKE it an Awesome Day!
@@Rafiwashere Thank you. You have no idea how much that means to me.
When I first started cajon-box-drumming, I was determined to do inside-out Black Sabbat style drumming (no I don't listen to Black Sabbath anymore, I'm super Christian now... perhaps I'll be rejected for saying so...) and so my first time out I was hand drumming experimentally, in front of the audience, and it was not so good as I would have liked it to be. I was afraid of being rejected, which I probably silently was, yet I faced that fear, and a sweet couple told me how much they liked my drumming, so what I was aiming at got across to some extant. Ultimately, I rejected that way of doing it because it did not serve the songs of the singer-songwriter I was performing with, and I wanted to do stuff that I could better practice and really give the whole audience a good time.
So, I still refused to simply keep a beat, and decided instead to assess the character of each song and then bring that out as much as possible. I chose to orchestrate but with bolder (broad stroke) simpler musicality, and to use super-precision and rock-n-roll style micro-rhythms to hook the audience sunconciously and give them something excellent. With some practice (and a super-easy instrument) when I went out again I was very satisfied with what I was doimg from then on out, and audiences loved it too, which is important because they were investing their valuable time.
I suppose the moral is that honest artistic self-assesment can lead the way to fulfilling choices... or something.
A whole'nother rejection story:
Now I like to share my unique perspectives, and people often think I'm weird, silly, foolish, arrogant, pretentious, delusional, and/or insane. Occasionally people apprectiate it. If I were to try to manipulate how people percieve me, I would be dishonest. That would repress me, hold back what I have to offer, and I would not be satisfied with myself if I were dishonest.
Really, my whole perspective now is fully based on Truth God Jesus, but I try to be honest without getting preachy to those who did not ask for preaching (unless it's a debate appropriate forum, then I go all out, bwa ha Ha-llelujah), so I'll leave it at that.
For me, fear of what others thought caused unjustified self-doubts within myself; within as in I was owning these self-doubts and they were not even mine. Reminds me of the Green Day lyric from the old song "She":
" She
She's figured ou-out
that all her doubts were someone else's point of vie-iew.
She's wa-
-king up this ti-ime
to smash the silence with the brick of self contro-ooooolll..."
(Don't listen to Green Day anymote either)
That false self-doubt was my adversary. So self-honesty, through Truth became self trust, and I was set free.
Rafi, I like your face close to the camera. Such a friendly smooth casual pleasant face, pretty much desscribes your voice and attitude too. And Clea's chime-ins are excellent too, I would describe her the same way, and the dynamic with you both is so very fun. So much freedom in, and offering from, you two. As always, the advice is very good also.
Thanks for inviting us all to share our stories.
Rejecting, rejection is accepting your acceptance of yourself. Or something like that. 🤪
But the zombies are so strong and loud. LOL. Thank you for this vid. I'm getting better at overcoming this as I get rejected or fail or have major disappointments repeatedly over my art this year. I shall beat you, evil zombies! Or at least learn to coexist. I figure this year must be a "forge my armor" year. Have a great day, Rafi and Klee!
Seriously, though. Thanks. I do put my art out there but have a very major fear of rejection and am still learning to get past it when I feel rejected, even if I probably wasn't. I think fear of rejection also plays into the not feeling good enough. So, I'm practicing. I've yet to have any rejection be an 'awesome experience'. lol. Baby steps.
Fear of rejection - Is that like the Kobayashi maru from start trek. - Just a silly thought
Does this mean we can cheat on rejection like Kirk cheated on the Kobayashi Maru? **L**
@@gusmonster59 Thanks for the visulization. I am snickering at all of the different ideas that have popped up.
I have purposely tried to paint bad paintings and those were my best ones. Whenever I get stuck I just make some "bad" art.