@@samd1571 exactly, there's nothing wrong with greeting someone politely, having a little joke with them and putting a smile on their face. Shame on B&Q for being so miserable. This world needs more people like Troy Hawke.
I really do hope that senior B&Q management take note of this. Troy has shone a light on an endemic attitude issue across our retail and 'service' sector. B&Q need to get into the 21st century!
I agree with the Manager! Off brand, you should have hidden in Tile section trying to avoid customers questions. B&Q, the "Where's Wally" of DIY Stores. Fence paint, that's in the paint section, you finally found it? Marvellous! What's that, you now need a Fence to go with it and you've looked in the Timber section? That's because it is in the Garden section, only two miles away!
1/4 of a mile in fact. The layout of B&Q has a logic. Start at the building end, then as you go to the other end it’s laid out in order of constructing a house through to setting up the garden and perimeters of that garden. I work in flooring and tiling. I’ve never hidden. I just advise and guide the customer through their choices.
@@ThoughtandMemory Sounds good, but that also means when you buy a new fence, you aren't expected to protect it with fence paint until you've renovated the bathroom, decorated the living room, tiled the floor and fitted a new kitchen? To quote spoke "Highly illogical".
As someone who currently works for B&Q I can confirm this to be 100% true we aren't allowed to ask customers if they are ok and if they need help they have to approach is first lmao
@@kiradotee something about how it makes customers feel like we want to rush them out of the store and how it can make people with anxiety feel pressured lol
@@fatbelly27 depends on the store to be fair I've always tried to help customers but I know plenty of staff that just refuse or fob it off on other staff
All right, it's 2AM at the moment. I wanted to go to bed half an hour ago and now I found out about you and your videos and I can't stop watching. Every one of these has me floored 🤣
about 15 years ago i had a friend who left school and began working at B&Q. he said after working there for one year its a soul destroying experience. he hated it. he left and went to university and now he works in financial services and seems to be happy in his job.
Last time I went to B&Q some bloke in an orange apron asked me if I wanted decking. I'm usually as soft as butter but luckily I got the first punch in.
Absolutely brilliant and hilarious! Just saw him on "This Morning". Very British humour. Good old fashioned customer service plus a splash of acidic comedy.
You're really funny/creative but what's even more important is your smouldering, classic Hollywood Clark Gable-esque looks. I didn't know they made men like you in the UK.
Absolutely brilliant Troy you are a legend !! We have had customer’s complaining That you greet them !!! Classic pure comedy even Noel coward would be chuffed dear boy
Thank you for this Troy! Superb job and if anything confirms that b and q is the place that joy goes to die! Thank you for bringing to smile to everyone else!
She's literally got that voice of someone who complains about everything all the time 😂 guarantee no one complained she just caught wind of it and saw an opportunity to shine her aura of misery
How can you not love this Guy? Get yourself to Betfred in Chesterfield. We would be Honored to have you and would certainly not be moving you on :).. Keep up the good work Troy, Shoulders back my son, you're smashing it!
Ahhhh... it is difficult to be any funnier than the mighty Hawke, a veritable crevette amongst the shrimp, yet this Empyrean doyenne of truly authentic Britishness cuts like Occam's razor through the room temperature margarine of retail- centric platitudes so often slopped about to grease the wheels of consumerism. I adore her; I thank Hawke for recording for posterity her dulcet tones, for training purposes (porpoises? check spelling- ed.) as the apogee of customer relations. I shall name her Margarina. My one concern is the inadequately concealed high vis tail sported by both of these creatures, Margarina and her henchwoman- let's call her... I can't believe it's not Betty. Don't all the alien lizard people work at ALDI? You ask. NO!!! Does anyone actually know what B&Q stands for? Brain- dAMPERS AND Quintuplication; first they drug us, then they clone us fivefold!!!!! (probably). The cryptic little finger twiddle she performs at the end- may, I suspect, be a clue as to how to thwart these beings. indicating the "that" that "we don't want?" What could it be? Improv jazz piano? Stick on nails? All I know is, that we should RESIST her command, spoken at the overture to the piece, to "Whirr your frum." Don't be fooled, Troy! Keep your frum unwhirred, at all costs! The very fate of the planet depends upon it! Wake up, sheeple! I've gone right off her.
The narrow mindedness of staff and the customers who complained! We all needed a bit of a morale boost during the Pandemic, which this guy delivers so brilliantly!
The funny thing is I used to work for B&Q and its one of their job roles to be a greeter and stand there to greet customers...so they're talking out of their bottoms! You were just doing it better!
The thing is back in the day before retail was on its arse, b&q used to employ greeter farewellers. People basically doing what Troy is doing , obviously they weren't as good.
You heard it here first, B&Q think customer service is a waste of time and they wish only misery upon their clientele. Shocking.
lol tbf anyone who's actually been to a B&Q probably already knew this
Going out of their way to remove customer service
Going out of their way to remove customer service
Having been to B&Q I’d therefore say they do an amazing job of keeping every one of their staff on brand…
They watch you like hawks as you do self check out.... Make you feel like a criminal!
"you don't like friendliness? fair enough, I'm off-brand."
so subtle yet so brutal.
straight over her head
@@NeedMoarRage Their unsmiling head.
A case of not listening and Troy mugging her off 😂👌
Explain please. Non native speaker.
@@DanielGrosu86 "Off-brand" means that it's not part of their brand. So him being friendly isn't part of B&Qs brand.
“Customers complaining that your greeting them” lmao the most British thing ever
His face at that point says it all its like you what ! 😂
I doubt they were it's them saying that to get rid of him, he would make me smile.
Made up bollix
*English
@@samd1571 exactly, there's nothing wrong with greeting someone politely, having a little joke with them and putting a smile on their face.
Shame on B&Q for being so miserable.
This world needs more people like Troy Hawke.
B&Q staff are the most unhelpful set of individuals I’ve ever met, that woman just sums them up!
As a (reluctant) B&Q customer, I can confirm that friendliness and greeting is most definitely off-brand!
You say it like you're forced to be their customer. 😂 No competition around?
I really do hope that senior B&Q management take note of this. Troy has shone a light on an endemic attitude issue across our retail and 'service' sector. B&Q need to get into the 21st century!
Troy is brilliant 😂 there’s some right miserable sods though . B&Q need to train their staff how to smile 🙈
You cant train Karins
I always have a smile and a cheerful disposition for customers. Even the annoying ones. B&Q for 3 years.
@@Thezemon Nor can you spell Karens
@@ThoughtandMemory Who reports friendly strangers to the management? Baffling psychos..
@@meatwig unfriendly psychos? 🤣
He needs his own tv show. Love him
Yes, far funnier than the regular TV comedy club who go around the shows
‘I’m off brand’ 😂😂best line ever 🤗🏴
"You don't want smiles on everybody's faces?""
"No"
That’s the real B&Q spirit
"Welcome to B & Q I hope you find everything you need."
No! we don't want that!
I’ve been sent from Reddit. I have subscribed to encourage more of this good nature.
EVERY LINE IS PURE GOLD. "Enjoy your bamboo"
You just somehow gave me a glimpse of a world that would be so lovely to live in, thank you
It really did ❤️
I agree with the Manager! Off brand, you should have hidden in Tile section trying to avoid customers questions. B&Q, the "Where's Wally" of DIY Stores. Fence paint, that's in the paint section, you finally found it? Marvellous! What's that, you now need a Fence to go with it and you've looked in the Timber section? That's because it is in the Garden section, only two miles away!
Comedy was never your friend
1/4 of a mile in fact. The layout of B&Q has a logic. Start at the building end, then as you go to the other end it’s laid out in order of constructing a house through to setting up the garden and perimeters of that garden.
I work in flooring and tiling. I’ve never hidden. I just advise and guide the customer through their choices.
Is that comment supposed to be funny? 🤔So cringe
@@ThoughtandMemory Sounds good, but that also means when you buy a new fence, you aren't expected to protect it with fence paint until you've renovated the bathroom, decorated the living room, tiled the floor and fitted a new kitchen? To quote spoke "Highly illogical".
@@CliveBilby only for the hard of understanding.
This is inspired comedy. I love that you insist on a kind greeting even as the ladies are talking to you.
The Greeters guild shall never bend to the demonstrative indifference of the agents of apathy!
B&q women's husband must be so happy what a barrel of fun she is .
Saw this on the r/CasualUK subreddit. Splendid job sir. If I may say so, I would have loved to be greeted by such a polite, eloquent gentleman.
As someone who currently works for B&Q I can confirm this to be 100% true we aren't allowed to ask customers if they are ok and if they need help they have to approach is first lmao
Why's that?
@@kiradotee something about how it makes customers feel like we want to rush them out of the store and how it can make people with anxiety feel pressured lol
...if you can find anyone. Staff seem very good at moving and hiding from customers.
@@fatbelly27 depends on the store to be fair I've always tried to help customers but I know plenty of staff that just refuse or fob it off on other staff
B&Q would be a trip of a life time if I were greeted by your presence good sir!
Please, keep doing these. They’re amazing
All right, it's 2AM at the moment. I wanted to go to bed half an hour ago and now I found out about you and your videos and I can't stop watching. Every one of these has me floored 🤣
about 15 years ago i had a friend who left school and began working at B&Q. he said after working there for one year its a soul destroying experience. he hated it. he left and went to university and now he works in financial services and seems to be happy in his job.
I don't know why but I could watch hours of this. You handled it so beautifully too.
Having tried to get help in a B&Q store before and failing, I can confirm you're definitely off-brand :-)
I've noticed with working class people that they can get angry if you try to raise the bar or if you're not as depressed as they are
Really tickles me that you still greet the customers when the jobsworths try & move you on 🤣🤣 you’re a genius 🤣🤣
There you have it, B&Q don’t want friendliness for their customers. 😆
This is so great! And you did nothing wrong. Effing brilliant! Can't wait to check out some of your other stuff
"I'm from the Greeters' Guild". Haha, love it!
Last time I went to B&Q some bloke in an orange apron asked me if I wanted decking. I'm usually as soft as butter but luckily I got the first punch in.
Was sent to give a little love from reddit.
Ps. If I were greeted, I wouldn't complain
Now this…. THIS is funny stuff. I would hire this guy instantly.
Came here from Reddit, subscribed keep being a gentleman:)
Welcome to the jobcentre ... ooh those security personnel would love that !!!
Saw this fella live at a comedy club in Liverpool and now I've randomly seen him on Reddit. Making it large now!
here before it gets viral
See milo in the hot water! Funniest night ever…and whoever complained,shame on them….I’d love this in every shop I went into…👍👍
This channel is fantastic and you sir are amazing. Can’t get enough of these videos, they never fail to put a smile on my face.
B&Q in Bradford has the most miserable feckers in the history of the world working there. They NEED someone like this guy.
Fave part: Troy continuing to greet customers even as management are telling him to move on.
This is funny as hell. Subscribed!
Welcome to Reddit sir, I hope you find everything you need here.
“You have the ankles of a tradesman!”
"NO NO NO.. we dont want kindness" HAHAHA
Absolutely brilliant and hilarious! Just saw him on "This Morning". Very British humour. Good old fashioned customer service plus a splash of acidic comedy.
Yet another new subscriber from Reddit. Fabulous work, sir. Keep at it! *tips hat*
‘No we don’t want our customers with a smile on their faces, its not what we are about’ - the CEO of B&Q would be proud
You're really funny/creative but what's even more important is your smouldering, classic Hollywood Clark Gable-esque looks. I didn't know they made men like you in the UK.
Absolutely brilliant Troy you are a legend !! We have had customer’s complaining That you greet them !!! Classic pure comedy even Noel coward would be chuffed dear boy
Thank you for this Troy! Superb job and if anything confirms that b and q is the place that joy goes to die! Thank you for bringing to smile to everyone else!
NEVER CHANGE!
Really funny, typical dour faced old trout. Keep up the good work.
I’m off brand - I love this chap
Absolutely superb! - Sir, you are a genius!
Complaining your greeting them 🤩😂😂😂😂😂
You can never win with some folk 😁
I want more of this!
You gotta be making more videos like this. It's absolute gold.
Was sent here by your reddit fans and im glad I came
I want more greeting guild videos! This is hilarious. Come to NY next
U sir have received a subscriber marvellous indeed
There is no other Troy. You're a genius. Loved your Man City USA trip one - Nathan Ake was hanging on your every word.
I came here from Reddit, 10/10!
She's literally got that voice of someone who complains about everything all the time 😂 guarantee no one complained she just caught wind of it and saw an opportunity to shine her aura of misery
"ah, im off brand" 💀💀💀
That's going be my new saying.
How can you not love this Guy? Get yourself to Betfred in Chesterfield. We would be Honored to have you and would certainly not be moving you on :).. Keep up the good work Troy, Shoulders back my son, you're smashing it!
Milo, I’m a little bit in love with you. Fiercely talented man, you’re a smooth panther with an aura of silky vermouth.
Gave me a real chuckle. Top stuff. Never change!
I really enjoyed this.
I don't know what is worse, the fact the customers complained about being greeted or the fact the manager felt the need to address it.
Bloody marvellous
Fantastic!! I would love to watch the unedited version of this.... Would be hilarious I'm sure
Absolutely fantastic!
Ahhhh... it is difficult to be any funnier than the mighty Hawke, a veritable crevette amongst the shrimp, yet this Empyrean doyenne of truly authentic Britishness cuts like Occam's razor through the room temperature margarine of retail- centric platitudes so often slopped about to grease the wheels of consumerism. I adore her; I thank Hawke for recording for posterity her dulcet tones, for training purposes (porpoises? check spelling- ed.) as the apogee of customer relations. I shall name her Margarina. My one concern is the inadequately concealed high vis tail sported by both of these creatures, Margarina and her henchwoman- let's call her... I can't believe it's not Betty. Don't all the alien lizard people work at ALDI? You ask. NO!!! Does anyone actually know what B&Q stands for? Brain- dAMPERS AND Quintuplication; first they drug us, then they clone us fivefold!!!!! (probably). The cryptic little finger twiddle she performs at the end- may, I suspect, be a clue as to how to thwart these beings. indicating the "that" that "we don't want?" What could it be? Improv jazz piano? Stick on nails? All I know is, that we should RESIST her command, spoken at the overture to the piece, to "Whirr your frum." Don't be fooled, Troy! Keep your frum unwhirred, at all costs! The very fate of the planet depends upon it! Wake up, sheeple! I've gone right off her.
Can 100% guarantee they weren’t complaining. Just asked who the guy is
I'm going to do a petition that you do your own show , cos u r nber 1 💙
I bet Christmas is fun at their house
i like how she said "where you from?" like a magician who had brought a child on stage
Love this !
Absolutely class 😂😂🤣🤣
Both sides of a very British coin
The narrow mindedness of staff and the customers who complained! We all needed a bit of a morale boost during the Pandemic, which this guy delivers so brilliantly!
I’d be surprised if any customers complained. Sounds like the manager is just a grump.
The funny thing is I used to work for B&Q and its one of their job roles to be a greeter and stand there to greet customers...so they're talking out of their bottoms! You were just doing it better!
Yes what a jobs worth welldone Troy 😂😂
This is great 😂, it's Shame those workers stopped you
Welcome to b&q sir hope you find what you want. No no we don't do that here
This is genius. Greeting people with friendliness is so far off-brand for B&Q.
They are happy to put the donation collectors at the exit or the breakdown companies to try and get you money as you leave!
Hello and here's another subscription from Reddit. Thank you for the morning laugh!
I loved this
Fake. There's never any staff at b&q.
You have thousands of views on Reddit, please make sure to link/comment original source there!
Lol, every time I go to my local B&Q which is around once a month there is an entirely new set of faces waiting to serve me.
You Can Do it Marty! You just gotta get back that Almanac, and set the world back on it's proper timeline!
Lol as he continues to greet them at the same time as being told not to
They’re lying, I doubt anyone actually complained about him greeting customers, the staff don’t want b&q to seem friendly
The thing is back in the day before retail was on its arse, b&q used to employ greeter farewellers. People basically doing what Troy is doing , obviously they weren't as good.
Brilliant. Just brilliant 🤣
Is that Trafford Park B&Q? Mostly the staff in there are as thick as the planks on isle 3..
great vid bro. extremely funny. great retorts.