INFJ: Everyone somehow feels drawn to tell me their life story/problems, and somehow I have an answer to help them. All I did was be nice, observe their behavior, listen to them, give them some perspective/insight, and now they believe we are best buds forever...
Yeah, that's why I think it's really important to us to find our "Core". Something we can hold on to as a constant, no matter who we are with. It can be one or several things, but I think having principles or ideas that you don't compromise on, and that you feel really represents You well, is important. Especially, and precisely _beacuse_ we might just adapt to everyone else if we don't. For example, I don't drink alcohol (much, like 3 drinks in 5 years, so you tell me), And I know people look at me weird for it, but it's also one of the things that I think represents me well. It's a constant with everyone I'm with, so I wouldnt get weird looks if I didn't drink at one of those parties where everyone I know is there.
I am very proud of myself for sticking to a certain version of myself in all situations. It was a consious desition at a young age to not end up in complicated situations with differend friend groups. Sometimes I wish I could use my shape shifting ability momentarily (like for making excellent first impressions or to impress someone at work) but I realised it's not worth it. Keeping track of all different versions of myself takes to much energy and keeps me from doing more impotant stuff. I liked the comment about finding your core, or some element of core! It creates so much security and stability to have that as an anchor in social situations and to not shape shift and make life more complicated than it needs to be.
I know an infj who is like sunshine in a bottle. Always making me see the bright side of things, encouraging me, and never trying to change me. Like a gem
I can post pictures but find adding a text that everyone will understand and relate to feels impossible. Too many perspectives to take into consideration!
I use different social media channels for different interests/target audiences. Facebook is for domestic politics/current events, Twitter is for tennis, Instagram is for art. This separation gives me peace of mind, and I’m obsessed with keeping them separate to the point that I unfollow or mute Twitter tennis journalists who post about other sports or god forbid, current world events 🤷🏻♀️. I never thought this might be an INFJ thing until now, but it ties in nicely with the “different identity for a different audience” theory
I am an INFJ who never comments. When I was depressed with suicidal tendencies throughout high school, a friend told me to stop carrying everyone else's weight and carrying the world on my shoulders. My response was helping just one person and adding to the list of changing peoples life for the better in my life is priceless. I will do it until I can do no more. Luckily I am still here to continue to attempt to continue doing so.
I love the infj! They can really do anything. One of my best friends is one. We both need so much alone time (infp) we talk once every 3 months and it feels the exact same every time. They are timeless people!
Yeah its really difficult not to develop a Cassandra Complex. It's really nice when the horse drinks the water though (You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink).
@@nanounou Nanou do you plan on using the discord thing, I think it would be pretty interesting to hear your thoughts. If you plan on using it please let me know when, if not that's cool as well.
Your metaphors are breathtakingly and deeply stunning, accurate, and impressionable. I definitely have no regrets in keeping my subscription, Nathan. I felt so much peace in your explanation of how we need time to best reveal our gifts to humanity. The world puts immense pressure to be efficient and make immediate impressions. I often feel more like a spectator in a bubble, gazing at passerbys live their life. Not to say this is who I always will show up as. I told my INTP friend that I may not make the best first impressions but longstanding impressions. I definitely feel that I, an INFJ, am like wine, refined over time. I'd be better off appreciating and accepting this about myself.
Your INTP did well to select you. I, too, have an INFJ friend and she is the world to me. We click on a way the makes others jealous. She may not always be satisfied with how she “measures up” in a demon Se sense, and she may struggle to know herself consistently, or pick a direction to head in, or stand up for herself… But as an individual, she moves mountains in a quiet and subtle way. She’s not very self-aware so she doesn’t realize the depth to which she influences - but she changed my entire life. I grew up with her, and because of her, I’m the most empathetic INTP I’ve ever met. She’s also greatly influenced everyone else in the family because we’re all T doms or Fi doms, and in her Fe way, she’s taught us all to process our emotions and appreciate that they are important. The friends she has actually get jealous when she hangs out with other friends. She’s the life of the party, despite her introverted personality, and when people know she’s going to be there everyone asks when she’ll get there. She has a lot of criticisms (or uncertainties) about herself that are overblown, though, so when she’s having a moment she likes to come to me so I can bring her into the Ti logic zone and we can figure out the answers to her problems. Helping her process her Fe helps relieve my own emotional pressure for some weird reason. So, you may think you’re in a bubble (she’s compared her life to a bubble before, actually)…but the bubble is of your own making. From this INTP, I must say, thank you for your service - and try to not deprive the humans too much of your gifts because we all need you people so much more than you know. ♥️
@@AK-jt7kh OMG! That's so beautiful!!! I love INTPs so much!!! Damn, she (your friend) should read this, she'll definately cry happily. I always had this in my mind that INTPs are so beautiful but that beauty often gets hidden underneath the persona they present. But once they work on themselves and their empathetic side, this is how amazing they are. I always knew, from my own observation of some famous INTPs online, and I was right. No wonder, when INFJs and INTPs are together, they really are the golden pair, in all kinds of relationships. Take care, INTPs. 💜. ~INFJ
I'm INFJ and I definitley recognize what you were saying about being a guide and mentor. You put it well in your "INFJ in 2 minutes" video, that INFJs are "people solvers". I almost see social interactions as one of those matching tile puzzles where I try to score as many points as possible by fitting into as many patterns as possible. Or like narrow everything someone was saying down and condensing it to "okay from what I've been picking up, I suppose you could say that you're like THIS. Is that right? And then I feel really good when if person is like "Wow, that's exactly right! :o That's a great way of putting it, I hadn't even thought about that!" When that happens, I feel like I've "Solved the Puzzle", and it's one of the best feelings for me haha.
I could never solve the puzzle of social interactions. I'm always trying to figure out something way, way different, it seems. But a lifetime of failure and rejection did teach me a whole lot. Not being accepted and being unsuccessful lets you look at the world very, very differently. I guess I'm way too selfish in trying to scratch my own itch.
I'm a Pastor and serve is multiple leadership roles each day. What you have said regarding INFJ's functioning as "Gentle Guides" is spot on, IMO. I basically just sat here and listened to you describe my personal leadership strategy for 4 minutes straight... much better than I could've ever described it. Wow. Thank you, and God bless.
Amazing video. I'm a 21yo infj guy who has struggled with identity in the past because of my tendency to morph into different roles for different situations and people. Along with this, I've tried to understand and temper my urge to subtly influence others all the time. My natural instinct is to always think ahead in terms of people and relationships. It's extremely useful (especially for my job as a private tutor!), but it causes just as many issues
... Uhm. Uh. If I can suggest one, small perspective. You can't change or control other people. They have to decide for themselves. And, if you can't change or control others, it can free up all that mental energy for yourself. I think we want to be an influence, not because we really care, but because it gives us a reassurance of control. It makes us feel good. And, if we are trying to change others to make ourselves feel good, then what would we be if we had no one to change? No emotional crutches would be left. I don't want to take the wind out of your sails. I just wanted to share something I learned. You're doing great.
@@chillingongreens temper might have been the wrong verb to communicate my perspective, because yeah I agree with you. We can predict and attempt to intercept behaviour of others, because there's safety in that, but it's not often the superpower it's assumed to be. It's a natural instinct to infjs because it makes life easier, but it can be a crutch, and create obstacles for healthy relationships However, I don't think the will to control and the will to help and care are mutually exclusive. But it's when these two goals are achieved through the same means that issues arise For example, I do genuinely care about my students, but the techniques I use to shape their academic development are, in many ways, the same ones I could use with other people in my life, and I have to actively remind myself not to engage in that way all the time. That sort of dynamic leads to someone viewing themselves as an external force on others, rather than an integrated part of a group or community, and it's often for the sake of control/security, as you said
I hate the idea that I'm influencing others because I'm not sure if my influence would be efficacious. I subscribe to the "do no harm" principal, and I question my ability to solve others problems by applying *my* methods (because I've been burned in trying to use others' methods...). That said, I love sharing my philosophical ideas--the theories or patterns about people that I've built from my observations--and I think sometimes people are more influenced by them than I realize--and sometimes I can't resist giving advice (my family might say it's more often than "sometimes"...)
Definitely resonate with pretty much everything (especially the "misreading" of passivity); I do think there's often a lack of attention put on the fact that INFJs have their own visions and plans that they want to see executed, and if they can do that process of enabling people to help them with that vision (if they want that person's support), that's a pretty common thing. ...Or at least it is for me.
electric clouds I definitely agree with this. I think our intuition (Ni) is able to recognise that real influence is not achieved by being your typical shouty/bossy manager that treats you like sub-human. Real influence is much more subtle. It is hidden in the wisdom that you can't force anybody to do anything; it has to come from within. By communicating an idealistic vision, inspiring others to become more than they are today (and convincing them they have the potential to improve) you clear their path to success and give them all the emotional fuel they need to realise their goals (and your vision). I am always concerned about never manipulating and being over-enthusiastic in "inspring" people but if controlled, I believe INFJs don't just have to be small-scale coaches or counsellors but can exert influence over the masses in much the same way and take humanity forward. Given enough time, INFJs can be like the water that ever so gradually turns rocks into sand.
Is that why I don't care to socialize? Because it doesn't match my vision? I'm not saying I'm right or better than anyone. I'm just sad because it seems like we are all just wind up toys. This is what we are supposed to do? Even if we can choose who we become? Frustrating. I feel like I've spent my entire life fighting society, relationships, myself. And apparently it just might be genetics. So frustrating.
Power is nice to fantasize about. But it's temporary. Always temporary. Leaders are just temporary stewards for power. You can take it by force. You can find pleasure when others submit. But power always changes hands. Was that soft and gentle enough for you?
Always when trying to meet or help other people, i want to understand what they want from life or what makes them tick. Then i give them take or leave advice or creative strategies to solve their problems. The Ivy analogy was quite accurate because I’m not really the one to make sure they are on it, its more of a gentle ignition. - INFJ
I love your videos. I am an INFJ and I am really impressed with your understanding of our personality type. I naturally adjust a little to who I am around. It is a really weird thing I've always done. Even the way my voice sounds changes a little. The only time I feel fully like my authentic self is when I'm by myself. Everyone gets a slightly different version of me. I don't do it on purpose, I have even tried to not do it. It is basically impossible for me. It is actually really frustrating.
Great video and explanation, as always! I believe Ni loves to really sit with knowledge. It loves to learn and think deeply about things, abstract though the world may be in its vision. And then you have Ti that systematises and makes sense of all the babbling that is the abstract world of Ni. But it gets filtered through Fe, which is why I think we are so naturally inclined to help others or why we come across as so philosophical and speak in metaphors. I feel that thinking (logically) and feeling (empathically) is well balanced in an INFJ and does draw people to them and it is what makes them so effective at helping others. It is one of their greatest strengths yet, personally, it is incredibly isolating - not quite fitting in anywhere. So I do believe an INFJ is very well equipped to help others. Now, to find someone who can help us... 🤣 If INFJ is a mirror and so geared to the needs and feelings of others, it becomes that much harder to turn the mirror on ourselves. So I do wonder why others want to be INFJ... perhaps because it is said to be the rarest type? Or because of how great they can be for you? They certainly aren't great to or for themselves. Ah! I've found my calling but, through my ranting, I guess I've just found my journey. Lol. Thank you for facilitating it, Nathan. 🌻 I'm sorry for the rambling but there are times we want to be seen and heard. And now, I will contradict myself by apologising for rambling, yet proofread that very rambling before sending. .... AND SEND.
Your INFJ videos are always so spot on. I definitely would love to see your ideas on why INFJs and INTPs are often mistaken for each other. Whenever I hear descriptions of INTPs I relate with them quite a lot.
As an INFJ, I feel like you really hit the nail on the head quite a few times in this one. I can chameleon very well, but I don't make a very solid first impression--and I do like guiding others toward making their own choices more than "giving them advice". Even working in retail, when people would ask me to choose for them, instead of picking for them, I'd ask questions. I'd ask about their personality, give them an suggestion, then ask them how they feel about my recommendation. Based on how they felt about my option, I'd tell them to either go through with it or pick something else. It took a while, but all my customers left feeling confident in their decision, and I loved that xD
i've had enough people coming out to me, tell me secrets/their bad family stories and asked if i was majored in psychology so.... i think this is right on the nose
It's funny, I mistyped as ENFP for so long until I finally started learning about the cognitive functions themselves. For as self-aware as I sometimes feel I am, the more I self-analyzed the less I realized I knew myself at all. LOL Rather, I had convinced myself that I knew myself because I knew what my role was to the other people in my life. While I never would have thought of myself as an INFJ based on the stereotypes I'd seen, the cognitive functions match how I view things; and while sometimes I'm a bit baffled by the comparison to the sage-like mentor/advisor figures in high fantasy, when I mention this to people I'm close with they all laugh and agree that I fit the bill. It's just a bit strange to think of myself as seeming that way from the outside, I think. But regardless, I always find myself concurring with the explanations you give of the thought patterns and motives that ultimately and unconsciously become that impression. In this video, particularly, I've never felt more seen by a statement than when you said "If you get all of the people in their life together in one room, it might be difficult for them to know how to act". 😂 When I was a teen I remember confiding in my mom that sometimes I feel like the dodecahedron from The Phantom Tollbooth - made up of so many facets and rotating to fit in each interaction. That I worried about being unintentionally manipulative, and didn't know how to explain that it isn't that I'm pretending to be someone else, it's just that there are different parts of who I am that are brought out by whoever I'm connecting with. She said that "everyone's a bit like that" but I was definitely not convinced at the time and still don't think she knew quite what I meant.
INFJ here and I feel so seen! Have always said my real-life superpower is that people want to tell me their life secrets. I always try to listen and ask guiding questions to help my friends find their own direction, even if it’s just asking “what do you really want” in five different ways.
So accurate, it hurts.😌😂 This principle of being a gentle guide and enabling people to have an impact on their environment is exactly what my future coaching business will be built on.
I dunno... Seems too direct and social for my taste. But, if it floats your boat, I wish you the best. I'd prefer a buffer that lets me people watch from afar. I always wanted to be a bartender...
@@chillingongreensOh, make no mistake, a lot will be courses, online coaching and videos. I could never be a full on, face to face coach. Yes, I did bartending as well, but that was socially exhausting. 🙊
I'm an INFJ and always want to gently guide people, be of help. My friends have always turned to me as know I'll listen, not judge, and emotionally support them. I have two sons with ASD and totally understand their difficulties. I have found similarities between INFJ and ASD that I find interesting. I think INFJs are very natural in their giving and supporting due to empathy - it's genuine and others can see/feel this. Intuitive (feels) and pattern recognition helps us see what others don't say or want to reveal. It's like always being on auto without us even being conscious of it at times. The downside, we can take too much on as feel responsible and protective of people which can drain us without realising. It's why we need to step back and recoup to heal.
INFJ Here, hi everyone I like your analysis and enjoyed it. I can definitely relate to what you said. I have learned to not create(come forth as) a different person for everyone that I know, I learned that it can be quite exhausting and can damage your Identity and your sense of self( very unhealthy, especially in a relationship ). So if all my acquaintances and friends were put in a room they would all recognise me by my personality, but the difference would come in if they were to talk about what I mean to different people( The role I play in their lives ). A brother to the brotherless or a counselor to the lost. *This isn't a humble brag but rather just the way I see it and what people have said to me
I've tried it many times when I was younger getting various groups together. For me the issue has been that I only develop personal relationships and when all in the same room theres no way for that personal relation to co tine and people feel excluded and hurt. I try never to do that anymore, but it does mean and drive around alot to visit people personally rather than ever organize a group.
Wow, that’s brilliant thank you! Feel free to connect with me on the Discord server btw - responding to messages on here is tricky since they get lost!! ~ Nathan
I love your videos !! ^^ I think I'm an INFJ and all evidence points to it but I still find myself questioning it... Even so, I relate so much with this video and with each sentence i can imagine myself and my friends in this sort of dynamic ! XD In some sense I really love helping my loved ones find what they want and need, all the while not really doing much apart from listening to them !
Gentle guide: guiding people you love in a good direction without hurting their egos and without letting them know you are guiding them. Let them think they come up with the idea themselves. This is indeed the soft power that I use to influence people. Implication works better especially when I don't care about the fact if they understand it or not.
i ve taken multiple tests and i ve gotten multiple types assigned to me, but out of all i feel like i resonated with infj the most. i feel like i never choose to show my whole personality to people but showcase and act in a way that feels the most fitting depending on who im surrounded by and the context of the situation. Even tho it does seem like not really having a certain personality to begin with, to me it feels like all those different versions(?) of me stem from the same core, it s not like i never feel like myself around certain people or anything, it s just that no one has seen every version of it. now do i want people to know that? hell no
Authenticity has been one long, drawn out fight for me. I've spent my childhood trying to adapt but never succeeded. And I slowly became more confident in what was left. And then I built on it, brick by brick. It's been hard. It hasn't been fun. But I'm left with me. And that makes me feel safe. Changing for others isn't bad. But what would happen if you walked on your own?
As always, not only are you are spot on with your analysis, but you touch on things I never really considered that give me another perspective about myself. It was especially insightful when you mentioned the need for time for massive effectiveness. I never considered how important having time was for me, but as I have been pondering it, I find this rings true for many aspects of my life.
When you said INFJs can be confused for INTPs my jaw dropped. I thought I was (and was typed multiple times as) an INTP for years until it just recently clicked that I'm an INFJ. I had to dig more into the cognitive functions and do some serious self reflecting... I didn't realize this particular mistyping is something that happens to other INFJs.
It appears to me that the INFJ always end up in a certain social situation, the kind that you get into when asking people people "How are you?" and they actually answer honestly. And judging from the amount of bitter/lonely/frustrated emotion found in this comment section, it saddens me to see that they never seem to get it asked back. A cruel fate, forged by your very nature. You have my sympathy, and I hope you find someone who will reciprocate your kind ways back onto you /INTP
Great description! I resonate quite a lot with this. Especially with seeing what people want and behaving differently in response to their wants/needs. I remember different parts of my family getting together and I felt so embarrassed with how I'd behave since person A wouldnt recognize how I behave with person B lmao
I unintentionally end up behaving like a laser beam alot of the time. Dont mean to be lol. Love people though, so it comes from a good place :) Unique summary thank you. The aim to making this sort of impact on people that you describe is EXACTLY what I live for!
Thank you for inviting me to 'speak'. I have a marvelous guide that tells me how to be my 'best'. Others may know it as 'that small, quiet voice inside'. Thank you again.
Agreed with your assessment with the INFJ here. However, sometimes the gentleness might need to be "less gentle" if we see a pattern in a person who might need a bit more "pressure" to improve themselves with the guidance they are given. Hopefully manipulation will be avoided in this, cause we INFJs hate manipulation.
Managing my expectations makes me a much more manageable INFJ. Impacting people effectively requires planting the seed of truth and not forgetting to water it.
I am INFJ and as art-therapist I guide people. There were so many people who searched me seeking help that I needed to profissionalize the thing so I could save myself from over-manipulation and from losting myself.
With people who needs gentle touch, we are trying to be gentle, but many times people needs a firm hand. It is our quest to learn the difference. INFJ-A
Yup... time and constant evaluation of others and their patterns. Everything was spot on and delivered in a very articulate way. Thank you for representing us accurately!
Infj here. I LOVE MBTI mainly as it’s a vessel to help me better understand those around me, those I love, and the difficult ones too. And - it’s like people puzzles. So interesting. 😂
Yes! Please talk about the confusion of INTPs and INFJs. My mom is an INFJ (and was a therapist) and my husband is an INTP. I obviously can tell their hearts and minds apart but I've always thought it was interesting how much similarity there is at face value
I went thru a stage of being ready to scream ( only internally of course ) because too many people were saying " oh , you're so gentle ." The angst was due to my thinking that is just one part of me , there's a lot more people don't see . But yes , what you've shared is true.
Definitley agree. Also good point with the authenticity - sometimes when you do not know what other person wants you to be, suddenly you recognize that your are always a mirror of what other people want/need. And in a situation when you do not know what others want or they just do not have preferences you need to sort of create your point of view. Because there is nothing external you can align with.
Your capacity to understand these characters deeply is amazing, well done. A rare gift in the world and on UA-cam. It's strange to see such a huge layer of myself articulately said on a video.... I can't let anyone I know see this on here I might loose progress
To overcome the problem of not knowing how to act in front of your many friends around you, I make it very clear whose side I'm on or I make it obvious enough that I act different when I'm with a group of people. Either that, or I just don't give enough information about myself and they won't know how I'll actually act. You can also try using only 1 persona by classifying multiple people as a whole. Just don't do anything that stands out too much or it'll be hard to adapt.
Yez veri nice! In addition to your great description and metaphors: I'm quite often described as having "a doctor's aura". Which can manifest in people suddenly thinking aloud about their lives AT you.
If you put all people who think they know me in the same room, and talk about me. It would be the chaos and debate : We don’t talk about the same person. Random people outside often know I can help them, or they know that I know the information they need. Due to this INFJ charisma awareness, always observant, and ready to act if something happen. Like a guardian to maintain harmony, positivity, calm. Maybe that why I like sword and shield in games.
Being kind and adapting to everyone in my life certainly can have it’s advantages; few conflicts, commanding a ton of respect seemingly out of nowhere for no reason, really being able to open people up about themselves and invest in them. It all comes naturally. I’d just caution INFJ to have a “healthy amount if selfishness”, lest all that time and energy the vine takes to break down that wall leads to something behind it that hurts you more than helps you. Make sure you give yourself that same consideration, attention, and care, because heaven knows we’re sensitive to to a lot, leading to overthinking and stress.
I repeatedly tested as INTP or INTJ or ISTP (Gandalf or Aragorn in Tolkien tests 🙃), but am really thinking INFJ now because of your INFJ videos matching me so well for how I am in public. Though I am consistent with people enough that being in the same room with many wouldn't bother me for this reason. Maybe I'm just balanced because I'm chronologically-gifted (50s). 😊
Yes! Please do a video on how INTPs and INFJs can be confused. I keep thinking as an INTP (with a traumatic childhood who's developed PTSD, GAD and OCD) I land in inferior Fe easily. And I know that inferior Fe and auxiliary Fe are actually different, but I'm still unsure how. INFJs have tertiary Ti and as a "fucked up INTP" it seems like my Ti isn't as developed as it should be. So it makes me think I use Ti as a third slot function. Also, when it comes to Se and Si, I do feel like I have a great sense of Si. Nostalgia is constant for me in my down time. But, I could also have Se because I've danced for 9 years and my teachers praised me for how well I did. But yeah, one of the things that gets the most is Ne vs Ni. I have a hard time understanding the difference. My ENFP bf is much more informed on MBTI than I am and has even been professionally tested twice. And, he says I'm definitely INTP. But, why?
My dream is to be a cage fighter. But I've told those around me my profession is people, and that my true art are those around me. It's true, my dream retirement gig is to settle down... and coach only the most unfortunate children I can find. Things like fatherhood excite me greatly, as I am able to craft a piece of art truly and whole unique from the ground up. People are a buetfull, complex, and ugly string of webs and slowly budding flowers, just need to clear the webs and throw down some water.
is this a new series? :) love the thumbnails (on the INTJ video too) and can't wait for more :) also, to answer your question: as an INFJ, I do try to make my students feel like they can achieve anything, but probably not in the very enthusiastic motivational style of an ENFJ, so yeah, gentle guide sounds good. Also, my impostor syndrome tells me that I don't deserve all the wonderful things you said in the video, however objective you were in your analysis. If only I could see myself as kindly as you present INFJs.
I definitely feel like I can be. but for most of my life my friends were kinda loud and crazy so only now that they’re gone do I fit this description. Idk I’ve always been the way that I am now but only when I had a chance to breath by myself. But I fit this better than who I was… well who I was trying to be.
I am infj and I think it is a great and accurate description. Being a successful gentle guide takes some practise though ... my dog would agree to that 🤣 ...still in love with those eyebrows 😚
I dislike the notion of INFJs being guides. Especially gentle. It is true to some extent - also what makes me dislike it - but I think it's fair to say we 'help people' for our own pleasure and to feel powerful. Not sure if that's how a guide is supposed to feel. I catch myself envying my INTJ brethren for their apparent self-focus. Why am I a gentle guide while they're path forgers? ~i was promised a cool title~
It could be the difference between mature and immature INFJs and I ask myself if I just have to grow more and accept my 'being n2' role. Maybe my unpracticed inferior Se just doesn't accept reality and wants me to be pop and cool. For now I'm gonna keep trying to play the single player career - let other people take care of their stuff and maybe i'll finally have time to gently guide myself
Thank you do much! I do think its like a laser beam we need to hone over time, I've learned that the intensity I can give off can influence in ways that have shocked me, so the gentle glow approach is well practiced, if I didn't know knows what would have become of people in my life. The first major evidence of this was when I was a kid and loved Tolkien and I fong know how but an acquaintance took it as some really in depth knowledge and decided I could speak the elvish language sindarian and learnt it himself and presented a speech to the class, thinking I was the only one who'd know what he said. He went on to go to oxford and I think hes a lawyer now. This went on for tears, and I went through stages of trying to never speak of my interests. Now I know how subtly speak of them without radically transforming people with them, but gently influencing, which I dont think I have much control over, it just happens, I can only control the intensity.
I feel sometimes that i focus so much on one person, when i listen, my attention is like a laser beam and that can be a bit too intense for the other person 😅 not everybody feels comfortable in this bright spotlight. But people who love the attention sure do love it 💛 being Infj is lonely when young, but amazing when you know how to handle your own talents and people.⚓
@@fiction589 completely agree over learned how to interact so I not long scare people with my "intensity" at least it's been years since anyone has said I'm intense.
I tend to be a gentle guide to my close friends (other people - not so much, because #trustissues) but I feel like they ususally don't take my advice and kinda... don't respect me when I give them my input? Which is a shame because after some time they usually resalise I am right. But I guess sometimes things need to truly click for people in order to work for them.
This kinda reminds me of a scene in Schindler's List. Schindler explains to Goeth (a Nazi concentration camp manager) that real power comes with being able to forgive, having the authority to pardon crime. I recommend to anyone who hasn't seen the movie to watch this scene. It's the most INFJ thing you'll ever see. Here: ua-cam.com/video/eIVofd6H4ME/v-deo.html Schindler by the way, secretly hates seeing the Jews killed and it's his mission to save as many lives as possible.
As INFJs are social chameleons and often adapt greatly around other people, I would be very interested in hearing your advice on how to do this in a healthy way, as it can cause a lot of people-pleasing or co-dependent behaviours that risk losing authenticity and a sense of self like you said
Feel free to bring your INFJ energy to our Discord server - discord.com/invite/jgvxCjs
INFJ: Everyone somehow feels drawn to tell me their life story/problems, and somehow I have an answer to help them. All I did was be nice, observe their behavior, listen to them, give them some perspective/insight, and now they believe we are best buds forever...
Always those assumptions by other people. People forget that as INFJs we decide who's going to be our friend and who we let in.
@@PriHL true
What struck me one time is how poeple may believe we have the same interests they have just because we listen to them and give them our full attention
@@ladybluebell1598 Yeah, this is again the case of reading too much into things and misinterpretation.
@@PriHL 100%
"You're such a good listener, you're very calming". In my head I'm slapping them with a wet fish....
Ahahah, so true
"Youre very calming"
*Not me reading psychological horror casually in my free time* 👀✨
Spot on.
Good god yes!
🤣🤣💯💯💯
Very true about getting everyone we know in a room - scary!!
Real talk, imagining that situation made me anxious 😅
Yeah, that's why I think it's really important to us to find our "Core".
Something we can hold on to as a constant, no matter who we are with.
It can be one or several things, but I think having principles or ideas that you don't compromise on, and that you feel really represents You well, is important.
Especially, and precisely _beacuse_ we might just adapt to everyone else if we don't.
For example, I don't drink alcohol (much, like 3 drinks in 5 years, so you tell me), And I know people look at me weird for it, but it's also one of the things that I think represents me well.
It's a constant with everyone I'm with, so I wouldnt get weird looks if I didn't drink at one of those parties where everyone I know is there.
I am very proud of myself for sticking to a certain version of myself in all situations. It was a consious desition at a young age to not end up in complicated situations with differend friend groups. Sometimes I wish I could use my shape shifting ability momentarily (like for making excellent first impressions or to impress someone at work) but I realised it's not worth it. Keeping track of all different versions of myself takes to much energy and keeps me from doing more impotant stuff.
I liked the comment about finding your core, or some element of core! It creates so much security and stability to have that as an anchor in social situations and to not shape shift and make life more complicated than it needs to be.
Tove Gulliksson Hmm.. For me it’s more about not knowing who to focus on... an Fe overwhelm kinda thing
I almost break down when my freinds, family relatives and Teachers come to my place. A total horror😭😭😭
I know an infj who is like sunshine in a bottle. Always making me see the bright side of things, encouraging me, and never trying to change me. Like a gem
In regard to what you said about INFJs in a room filled with all of their people - posting on social media can be a challenge for me this reason.
Omg yes 🙃🙃
I don't like talking about myself on general Social Media. One time I posted a video I found hilarious and half the audience was shocked.
I can post pictures but find adding a text that everyone will understand and relate to feels impossible. Too many perspectives to take into consideration!
I use different social media channels for different interests/target audiences. Facebook is for domestic politics/current events, Twitter is for tennis, Instagram is for art. This separation gives me peace of mind, and I’m obsessed with keeping them separate to the point that I unfollow or mute Twitter tennis journalists who post about other sports or god forbid, current world events 🤷🏻♀️. I never thought this might be an INFJ thing until now, but it ties in nicely with the “different identity for a different audience” theory
Exactly exactly 😅
I am an INFJ who never comments. When I was depressed with suicidal tendencies throughout high school, a friend told me to stop carrying everyone else's weight and carrying the world on my shoulders. My response was helping just one person and adding to the list of changing peoples life for the better in my life is priceless. I will do it until I can do no more. Luckily I am still here to continue to attempt to continue doing so.
I love the infj! They can really do anything. One of my best friends is one. We both need so much alone time (infp) we talk once every 3 months and it feels the exact same every time. They are timeless people!
My friend and I since we were 5 years old behave the same way :)
We talk like 4 times a year and its like the conversation is still seamless.
I’m also like this with my INFJ! I’m an INTP. She’s so amazing. I think they are the best friends of the MBTI.
Just like Cassandra; cursed to prophesy truth but never believed. The words “I told you so” are well worn.
Yeah its really difficult not to develop a Cassandra Complex. It's really nice when the horse drinks the water though (You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink).
@@danielross8082 if only horses would look for water themselves and not complain afterwards, regardless.
@@nanounou ROFL. It's pretty damn frustrating, I feel you!
@@nanounou Nanou do you plan on using the discord thing, I think it would be pretty interesting to hear your thoughts. If you plan on using it please let me know when, if not that's cool as well.
@@danielross8082 gave up on discord a while back 😅
INFJs are my favourite MBTI types (INTJ). Wish there were more of you out there ❤
How kind of you! Likewise🙂
What's funny is most INFJs don't really like being INFJs, they just are? It's hard to explain
As an INFJ who is married to an INTJ, absolutely agreed! It can be intense but we wouldn't (and couldn't) have it any other way. Thanks! :)
Wish I knew more INTJ ☺️
Thankss!! I also really love you INTJs (I have an INTJ bestfriend)
Being INFJ male, gentle guide resonates more as I enter mid-life. Expectations for self and others was too high in younger years.
Your metaphors are breathtakingly and deeply stunning, accurate, and impressionable. I definitely have no regrets in keeping my subscription, Nathan.
I felt so much peace in your explanation of how we need time to best reveal our gifts to humanity. The world puts immense pressure to be efficient and make immediate impressions. I often feel more like a spectator in a bubble, gazing at passerbys live their life. Not to say this is who I always will show up as. I told my INTP friend that I may not make the best first impressions but longstanding impressions. I definitely feel that I, an INFJ, am like wine, refined over time. I'd be better off appreciating and accepting this about myself.
Your INTP did well to select you. I, too, have an INFJ friend and she is the world to me. We click on a way the makes others jealous.
She may not always be satisfied with how she “measures up” in a demon Se sense, and she may struggle to know herself consistently, or pick a direction to head in, or stand up for herself…
But as an individual, she moves mountains in a quiet and subtle way. She’s not very self-aware so she doesn’t realize the depth to which she influences - but she changed my entire life. I grew up with her, and because of her, I’m the most empathetic INTP I’ve ever met.
She’s also greatly influenced everyone else in the family because we’re all T doms or Fi doms, and in her Fe way, she’s taught us all to process our emotions and appreciate that they are important.
The friends she has actually get jealous when she hangs out with other friends. She’s the life of the party, despite her introverted personality, and when people know she’s going to be there everyone asks when she’ll get there.
She has a lot of criticisms (or uncertainties) about herself that are overblown, though, so when she’s having a moment she likes to come to me so I can bring her into the Ti logic zone and we can figure out the answers to her problems. Helping her process her Fe helps relieve my own emotional pressure for some weird reason.
So, you may think you’re in a bubble (she’s compared her life to a bubble before, actually)…but the bubble is of your own making.
From this INTP, I must say, thank you for your service - and try to not deprive the humans too much of your gifts because we all need you people so much more than you know. ♥️
@@AK-jt7kh OMG! That's so beautiful!!! I love INTPs so much!!! Damn, she (your friend) should read this, she'll definately cry happily.
I always had this in my mind that INTPs are so beautiful but that beauty often gets hidden underneath the persona they present. But once they work on themselves and their empathetic side, this is how amazing they are. I always knew, from my own observation of some famous INTPs online, and I was right.
No wonder, when INFJs and INTPs are together, they really are the golden pair, in all kinds of relationships. Take care, INTPs. 💜.
~INFJ
He knows how to speak to intuitive people
16 personalities being kidnapped and interacting with their kidnapper
Aw man...as an INFJ I can already see how that would go down 🤣😂
INFP: "You chose me? Aw, you shouldn't have."
INTJ.. these bindings are suboptimal secured
@@CaveyMoth 😂🤣
oh great idea 👍
INFJ is like, a good mage if you pull together Santa Claus and Gandalf, you create INFJ
I'm INFJ and I definitley recognize what you were saying about being a guide and mentor.
You put it well in your "INFJ in 2 minutes" video, that INFJs are "people solvers".
I almost see social interactions as one of those matching tile puzzles where I try to score as many points as possible by fitting into as many patterns as possible. Or like narrow everything someone was saying down and condensing it to "okay from what I've been picking up, I suppose you could say that you're like THIS. Is that right?
And then I feel really good when if person is like "Wow, that's exactly right! :o That's a great way of putting it, I hadn't even thought about that!"
When that happens, I feel like I've "Solved the Puzzle", and it's one of the best feelings for me haha.
I could never solve the puzzle of social interactions. I'm always trying to figure out something way, way different, it seems.
But a lifetime of failure and rejection did teach me a whole lot. Not being accepted and being unsuccessful lets you look at the world very, very differently.
I guess I'm way too selfish in trying to scratch my own itch.
We all need an INFJ in our life. 🙌🏼
Who needs petty people
-intj
@@BobVisMo why so mean?
Ahhh... No.
if everyone need infj why i feel werd when i remember that i am infj and no one knows what the infj mean
@@Octobris just being honest dude
I'm a Pastor and serve is multiple leadership roles each day. What you have said regarding INFJ's functioning as "Gentle Guides" is spot on, IMO. I basically just sat here and listened to you describe my personal leadership strategy for 4 minutes straight... much better than I could've ever described it. Wow. Thank you, and God bless.
Amazing video. I'm a 21yo infj guy who has struggled with identity in the past because of my tendency to morph into different roles for different situations and people. Along with this, I've tried to understand and temper my urge to subtly influence others all the time. My natural instinct is to always think ahead in terms of people and relationships. It's extremely useful (especially for my job as a private tutor!), but it causes just as many issues
Hey u can watch wenz infj videos
Maybe it will be helpful to you
Have a good day 😀
... Uhm. Uh.
If I can suggest one, small perspective.
You can't change or control other people. They have to decide for themselves. And, if you can't change or control others, it can free up all that mental energy for yourself.
I think we want to be an influence, not because we really care, but because it gives us a reassurance of control. It makes us feel good.
And, if we are trying to change others to make ourselves feel good, then what would we be if we had no one to change?
No emotional crutches would be left.
I don't want to take the wind out of your sails. I just wanted to share something I learned. You're doing great.
@@chillingongreens temper might have been the wrong verb to communicate my perspective, because yeah I agree with you. We can predict and attempt to intercept behaviour of others, because there's safety in that, but it's not often the superpower it's assumed to be. It's a natural instinct to infjs because it makes life easier, but it can be a crutch, and create obstacles for healthy relationships
However, I don't think the will to control and the will to help and care are mutually exclusive. But it's when these two goals are achieved through the same means that issues arise
For example, I do genuinely care about my students, but the techniques I use to shape their academic development are, in many ways, the same ones I could use with other people in my life, and I have to actively remind myself not to engage in that way all the time. That sort of dynamic leads to someone viewing themselves as an external force on others, rather than an integrated part of a group or community, and it's often for the sake of control/security, as you said
Lolll im an INFJ and have had the same issue + im also a private tutor 🤣
I hate the idea that I'm influencing others because I'm not sure if my influence would be efficacious. I subscribe to the "do no harm" principal, and I question my ability to solve others problems by applying *my* methods (because I've been burned in trying to use others' methods...). That said, I love sharing my philosophical ideas--the theories or patterns about people that I've built from my observations--and I think sometimes people are more influenced by them than I realize--and sometimes I can't resist giving advice (my family might say it's more often than "sometimes"...)
Definitely resonate with pretty much everything (especially the "misreading" of passivity); I do think there's often a lack of attention put on the fact that INFJs have their own visions and plans that they want to see executed, and if they can do that process of enabling people to help them with that vision (if they want that person's support), that's a pretty common thing. ...Or at least it is for me.
yep, self doubt at the end. confirmed INFJ
You're just sitting in front of that fashion magazine doing nothing.
No, no, I'm creating outfits, I'm styling. In my head. You have no idea :)
electric clouds I definitely agree with this. I think our intuition (Ni) is able to recognise that real influence is not achieved by being your typical shouty/bossy manager that treats you like sub-human. Real influence is much more subtle. It is hidden in the wisdom that you can't force anybody to do anything; it has to come from within. By communicating an idealistic vision, inspiring others to become more than they are today (and convincing them they have the potential to improve) you clear their path to success and give them all the emotional fuel they need to realise their goals (and your vision). I am always concerned about never manipulating and being over-enthusiastic in "inspring" people but if controlled, I believe INFJs don't just have to be small-scale coaches or counsellors but can exert influence over the masses in much the same way and take humanity forward. Given enough time, INFJs can be like the water that ever so gradually turns rocks into sand.
Is that why I don't care to socialize? Because it doesn't match my vision?
I'm not saying I'm right or better than anyone. I'm just sad because it seems like we are all just wind up toys. This is what we are supposed to do? Even if we can choose who we become?
Frustrating. I feel like I've spent my entire life fighting society, relationships, myself. And apparently it just might be genetics.
So frustrating.
Power is nice to fantasize about. But it's temporary. Always temporary.
Leaders are just temporary stewards for power.
You can take it by force. You can find pleasure when others submit. But power always changes hands.
Was that soft and gentle enough for you?
I would be very interested in the mistyping with INTPs, please make a video exploring the subject.
I'm an INFJ with 100% introverted and 90% Feeler, these aspects make me suffer a lot, very depressing
I’m an INFJ and I endorse this video.
Always when trying to meet or help other people, i want to understand what they want from life or what makes them tick. Then i give them take or leave advice or creative strategies to solve their problems. The Ivy analogy was quite accurate because I’m not really the one to make sure they are on it, its more of a gentle ignition. - INFJ
I love your videos. I am an INFJ and I am really impressed with your understanding of our personality type. I naturally adjust a little to who I am around. It is a really weird thing I've always done. Even the way my voice sounds changes a little. The only time I feel fully like my authentic self is when I'm by myself. Everyone gets a slightly different version of me. I don't do it on purpose, I have even tried to not do it. It is basically impossible for me. It is actually really frustrating.
Great video and explanation, as always!
I believe Ni loves to really sit with knowledge. It loves to learn and think deeply about things, abstract though the world may be in its vision.
And then you have Ti that systematises and makes sense of all the babbling that is the abstract world of Ni. But it gets filtered through Fe, which is why I think we are so naturally inclined to help others or why we come across as so philosophical and speak in metaphors.
I feel that thinking (logically) and feeling (empathically) is well balanced in an INFJ and does draw people to them and it is what makes them so effective at helping others. It is one of their greatest strengths yet, personally, it is incredibly isolating - not quite fitting in anywhere.
So I do believe an INFJ is very well equipped to help others. Now, to find someone who can help us... 🤣
If INFJ is a mirror and so geared to the needs and feelings of others, it becomes that much harder to turn the mirror on ourselves. So I do wonder why others want to be INFJ... perhaps because it is said to be the rarest type? Or because of how great they can be for you? They certainly aren't great to or for themselves. Ah! I've found my calling but, through my ranting, I guess I've just found my journey. Lol. Thank you for facilitating it, Nathan. 🌻
I'm sorry for the rambling but there are times we want to be seen and heard.
And now, I will contradict myself by apologising for rambling, yet proofread that very rambling before sending.
.... AND SEND.
This was a very INFJ comment 😂
Uhm, so... what was your calling?
Excellent Nathan! Loved it! 💕🤗🦄
INFJ here, "A soft glow which permeates it's surroundings." 🎆
Your INFJ videos are always so spot on. I definitely would love to see your ideas on why INFJs and INTPs are often mistaken for each other. Whenever I hear descriptions of INTPs I relate with them quite a lot.
I think it probably has a lot to do with the IN_ _ part.
As an INFJ, I feel like you really hit the nail on the head quite a few times in this one. I can chameleon very well, but I don't make a very solid first impression--and I do like guiding others toward making their own choices more than "giving them advice". Even working in retail, when people would ask me to choose for them, instead of picking for them, I'd ask questions. I'd ask about their personality, give them an suggestion, then ask them how they feel about my recommendation. Based on how they felt about my option, I'd tell them to either go through with it or pick something else. It took a while, but all my customers left feeling confident in their decision, and I loved that xD
i've had enough people coming out to me, tell me secrets/their bad family stories and asked if i was majored in psychology so.... i think this is right on the nose
It's funny, I mistyped as ENFP for so long until I finally started learning about the cognitive functions themselves. For as self-aware as I sometimes feel I am, the more I self-analyzed the less I realized I knew myself at all. LOL Rather, I had convinced myself that I knew myself because I knew what my role was to the other people in my life. While I never would have thought of myself as an INFJ based on the stereotypes I'd seen, the cognitive functions match how I view things; and while sometimes I'm a bit baffled by the comparison to the sage-like mentor/advisor figures in high fantasy, when I mention this to people I'm close with they all laugh and agree that I fit the bill. It's just a bit strange to think of myself as seeming that way from the outside, I think. But regardless, I always find myself concurring with the explanations you give of the thought patterns and motives that ultimately and unconsciously become that impression.
In this video, particularly, I've never felt more seen by a statement than when you said "If you get all of the people in their life together in one room, it might be difficult for them to know how to act". 😂 When I was a teen I remember confiding in my mom that sometimes I feel like the dodecahedron from The Phantom Tollbooth - made up of so many facets and rotating to fit in each interaction. That I worried about being unintentionally manipulative, and didn't know how to explain that it isn't that I'm pretending to be someone else, it's just that there are different parts of who I am that are brought out by whoever I'm connecting with. She said that "everyone's a bit like that" but I was definitely not convinced at the time and still don't think she knew quite what I meant.
INFJ here and I feel so seen! Have always said my real-life superpower is that people want to tell me their life secrets. I always try to listen and ask guiding questions to help my friends find their own direction, even if it’s just asking “what do you really want” in five different ways.
So accurate, it hurts.😌😂 This principle of being a gentle guide and enabling people to have an impact on their environment is exactly what my future coaching business will be built on.
I dunno... Seems too direct and social for my taste. But, if it floats your boat, I wish you the best.
I'd prefer a buffer that lets me people watch from afar. I always wanted to be a bartender...
@@chillingongreensOh, make no mistake, a lot will be courses, online coaching and videos. I could never be a full on, face to face coach.
Yes, I did bartending as well, but that was socially exhausting. 🙊
INFJ I am. Great description! Very accurate.
I'm an INFJ and always want to gently guide people, be of help. My friends have always turned to me as know I'll listen, not judge, and emotionally support them. I have two sons with ASD and totally understand their difficulties. I have found similarities between INFJ and ASD that I find interesting.
I think INFJs are very natural in their giving and supporting due to empathy - it's genuine and others can see/feel this. Intuitive (feels) and pattern recognition helps us see what others don't say or want to reveal. It's like always being on auto without us even being conscious of it at times.
The downside, we can take too much on as feel responsible and protective of people which can drain us without realising. It's why we need to step back and recoup to heal.
INFJ Here, hi everyone
I like your analysis and enjoyed it. I can definitely relate to what you said. I have learned to not create(come forth as) a different person for everyone that I know, I learned that it can be quite exhausting and can damage your Identity and your sense of self( very unhealthy, especially in a relationship ). So if all my acquaintances and friends were put in a room they would all recognise me by my personality, but the difference would come in if they were to talk about what I mean to different people( The role I play in their lives ). A brother to the brotherless or a counselor to the lost.
*This isn't a humble brag but rather just the way I see it and what people have said to me
I've tried it many times when I was younger getting various groups together. For me the issue has been that I only develop personal relationships and when all in the same room theres no way for that personal relation to co tine and people feel excluded and hurt. I try never to do that anymore, but it does mean and drive around alot to visit people personally rather than ever organize a group.
I just shared this video with thousands in my groups. 😊 Much love.
Wow, that’s brilliant thank you! Feel free to connect with me on the Discord server btw - responding to messages on here is tricky since they get lost!! ~ Nathan
@@lovewho Makes sense! I really would like to join. I've never tried Discord before. I'll add it to my to-do 😉
I love your videos !! ^^ I think I'm an INFJ and all evidence points to it but I still find myself questioning it... Even so, I relate so much with this video and with each sentence i can imagine myself and my friends in this sort of dynamic ! XD In some sense I really love helping my loved ones find what they want and need, all the while not really doing much apart from listening to them !
Gentle guide: guiding people you love in a good direction without hurting their egos and without letting them know you are guiding them. Let them think they come up with the idea themselves. This is indeed the soft power that I use to influence people. Implication works better especially when I don't care about the fact if they understand it or not.
i ve taken multiple tests and i ve gotten multiple types assigned to me, but out of all i feel like i resonated with infj the most. i feel like i never choose to show my whole personality to people but showcase and act in a way that feels the most fitting depending on who im surrounded by and the context of the situation. Even tho it does seem like not really having a certain personality to begin with, to me it feels like all those different versions(?) of me stem from the same core, it s not like i never feel like myself around certain people or anything, it s just that no one has seen every version of it. now do i want people to know that? hell no
Authenticity has been one long, drawn out fight for me.
I've spent my childhood trying to adapt but never succeeded. And I slowly became more confident in what was left. And then I built on it, brick by brick.
It's been hard. It hasn't been fun. But I'm left with me. And that makes me feel safe.
Changing for others isn't bad. But what would happen if you walked on your own?
As always, not only are you are spot on with your analysis, but you touch on things I never really considered that give me another perspective about myself. It was especially insightful when you mentioned the need for time for massive effectiveness. I never considered how important having time was for me, but as I have been pondering it, I find this rings true for many aspects of my life.
When you said INFJs can be confused for INTPs my jaw dropped. I thought I was (and was typed multiple times as) an INTP for years until it just recently clicked that I'm an INFJ. I had to dig more into the cognitive functions and do some serious self reflecting... I didn't realize this particular mistyping is something that happens to other INFJs.
Same here!
It appears to me that the INFJ always end up in a certain social situation, the kind that you get into when asking people people "How are you?" and they actually answer honestly. And judging from the amount of bitter/lonely/frustrated emotion found in this comment section, it saddens me to see that they never seem to get it asked back.
A cruel fate, forged by your very nature. You have my sympathy, and I hope you find someone who will reciprocate your kind ways back onto you /INTP
Great description! I resonate quite a lot with this. Especially with seeing what people want and behaving differently in response to their wants/needs. I remember different parts of my family getting together and I felt so embarrassed with how I'd behave since person A wouldnt recognize how I behave with person B lmao
I unintentionally end up behaving like a laser beam alot of the time. Dont mean to be lol. Love people though, so it comes from a good place :)
Unique summary thank you. The aim to making this sort of impact on people that you describe is EXACTLY what I live for!
Thank you for inviting me to 'speak'.
I have a marvelous guide that tells me how to be my 'best'. Others may know it as 'that small, quiet voice inside'.
Thank you again.
Agreed with your assessment with the INFJ here. However, sometimes the gentleness might need to be "less gentle" if we see a pattern in a person who might need a bit more "pressure" to improve themselves with the guidance they are given. Hopefully manipulation will be avoided in this, cause we INFJs hate manipulation.
But we as INFJs are manipulative. That's why we are so sensitive to it.
Managing my expectations makes me a much more manageable INFJ. Impacting people effectively requires planting the seed of truth and not forgetting to water it.
"Agressive power beats you up; soft power wins you over."
I am INFJ and as art-therapist I guide people. There were so many people who searched me seeking help that I needed to profissionalize the thing so I could save myself from over-manipulation and from losting myself.
With people who needs gentle touch, we are trying to be gentle, but many times people needs a firm hand. It is our quest to learn the difference. INFJ-A
Yup... time and constant evaluation of others and their patterns. Everything was spot on and delivered in a very articulate way. Thank you for representing us accurately!
Infj here. I LOVE MBTI mainly as it’s a vessel to help me better understand those around me, those I love, and the difficult ones too. And - it’s like people puzzles. So interesting. 😂
Pressure and time, and chemistry… I think for both geology and INFJs. 🤔
Yes! Please talk about the confusion of INTPs and INFJs. My mom is an INFJ (and was a therapist) and my husband is an INTP. I obviously can tell their hearts and minds apart but I've always thought it was interesting how much similarity there is at face value
I went thru a stage of being ready to scream ( only internally of course ) because too many people were saying " oh , you're so gentle ." The angst was due to my thinking that is just one part of me , there's a lot more people don't see . But yes , what you've shared is true.
Your videos are so creative!
INFJ. I **LOVED** this video, very very good explanations, very true, relatable 💕 *slow creeping ivy*
Definitley agree. Also good point with the authenticity - sometimes when you do not know what other person wants you to be, suddenly you recognize that your are always a mirror of what other people want/need. And in a situation when you do not know what others want or they just do not have preferences you need to sort of create your point of view. Because there is nothing external you can align with.
For me, i see my people- guiding skill coming from being able to see through the mask of ego. Understanding and sensing pain in others.
Yeah, I literally see subtitles where my mind translates their words and body language.
Not literally. But you get what I'm saying.
Your capacity to understand these characters deeply is amazing, well done. A rare gift in the world and on UA-cam. It's strange to see such a huge layer of myself articulately said on a video....
I can't let anyone I know see this on here I might loose progress
My boss once said I was very accommodating. I think that sums up an INFJ well
Shocking how accurate this is. Thank you for these insights!
The thought of getting all the people I know into one room is the stuff of nightmares. Exactly why I eloped ...
I think I've watched all of your INFJ videos and they are very accurate. Great job!
Noti squad. :D And wow, really well described!
To overcome the problem of not knowing how to act in front of your many friends around you, I make it very clear whose side I'm on or I make it obvious enough that I act different when I'm with a group of people.
Either that, or I just don't give enough information about myself and they won't know how I'll actually act.
You can also try using only 1 persona by classifying multiple people as a whole. Just don't do anything that stands out too much or it'll be hard to adapt.
Yez veri nice! In addition to your great description and metaphors: I'm quite often described as having "a doctor's aura". Which can manifest in people suddenly thinking aloud about their lives AT you.
If you put all people who think they know me in the same room, and talk about me.
It would be the chaos and debate : We don’t talk about the same person.
Random people outside often know I can help them,
or they know that I know the information they need.
Due to this INFJ charisma awareness, always observant, and ready to act if something happen.
Like a guardian to maintain harmony, positivity, calm.
Maybe that why I like sword and shield in games.
Being kind and adapting to everyone in my life certainly can have it’s advantages; few conflicts, commanding a ton of respect seemingly out of nowhere for no reason, really being able to open people up about themselves and invest in them. It all comes naturally.
I’d just caution INFJ to have a “healthy amount if selfishness”, lest all that time and energy the vine takes to break down that wall leads to something behind it that hurts you more than helps you. Make sure you give yourself that same consideration, attention, and care, because heaven knows we’re sensitive to to a lot, leading to overthinking and stress.
2:20 that is so true T_T i was really lost at my own wedding party hahaha
I repeatedly tested as INTP or INTJ or ISTP (Gandalf or Aragorn in Tolkien tests 🙃), but am really thinking INFJ now because of your INFJ videos matching me so well for how I am in public. Though I am consistent with people enough that being in the same room with many wouldn't bother me for this reason. Maybe I'm just balanced because I'm chronologically-gifted (50s). 😊
Very, very good descriptions here, thank you!
Yes! Please do a video on how INTPs and INFJs can be confused. I keep thinking as an INTP (with a traumatic childhood who's developed PTSD, GAD and OCD) I land in inferior Fe easily. And I know that inferior Fe and auxiliary Fe are actually different, but I'm still unsure how. INFJs have tertiary Ti and as a "fucked up INTP" it seems like my Ti isn't as developed as it should be. So it makes me think I use Ti as a third slot function. Also, when it comes to Se and Si, I do feel like I have a great sense of Si. Nostalgia is constant for me in my down time. But, I could also have Se because I've danced for 9 years and my teachers praised me for how well I did. But yeah, one of the things that gets the most is Ne vs Ni. I have a hard time understanding the difference. My ENFP bf is much more informed on MBTI than I am and has even been professionally tested twice. And, he says I'm definitely INTP. But, why?
My spirit animal: slow, creeping ivy
That thumbnail just made my day!!!
My dream is to be a cage fighter. But I've told those around me my profession is people, and that my true art are those around me. It's true, my dream retirement gig is to settle down... and coach only the most unfortunate children I can find. Things like fatherhood excite me greatly, as I am able to craft a piece of art truly and whole unique from the ground up. People are a buetfull, complex, and ugly string of webs and slowly budding flowers, just need to clear the webs and throw down some water.
The worst thing I did was introduce my three friend groups together when I was a teen. I didn’t know which personality to put on.
is this a new series? :) love the thumbnails (on the INTJ video too) and can't wait for more :) also, to answer your question: as an INFJ, I do try to make my students feel like they can achieve anything, but probably not in the very enthusiastic motivational style of an ENFJ, so yeah, gentle guide sounds good. Also, my impostor syndrome tells me that I don't deserve all the wonderful things you said in the video, however objective you were in your analysis. If only I could see myself as kindly as you present INFJs.
Absolutely. Love the video, Love Who.
I definitely feel like I can be. but for most of my life my friends were kinda loud and crazy so only now that they’re gone do I fit this description. Idk I’ve always been the way that I am now but only when I had a chance to breath by myself. But I fit this better than who I was… well who I was trying to be.
Eventually you don't have to move mountains, the mountains already know to move!
oooh you tease! :) Would love to hear more about how INFJs and INTPs get confused for each other.
How can they be confused?
Bravo! This is verrrry good!
I am infj and I think it is a great and accurate description. Being a successful gentle guide takes some practise though ... my dog would agree to that 🤣
...still in love with those eyebrows 😚
100 percent accurate, Nathan.
-INFJ
I dislike the notion of INFJs being guides. Especially gentle. It is true to some extent - also what makes me dislike it - but I think it's fair to say we 'help people' for our own pleasure and to feel powerful. Not sure if that's how a guide is supposed to feel.
I catch myself envying my INTJ brethren for their apparent self-focus. Why am I a gentle guide while they're path forgers?
~i was promised a cool title~
It could be the difference between mature and immature INFJs and I ask myself if I just have to grow more and accept my 'being n2' role. Maybe my unpracticed inferior Se just doesn't accept reality and wants me to be pop and cool.
For now I'm gonna keep trying to play the single player career - let other people take care of their stuff and maybe i'll finally have time to gently guide myself
I totally love your videos. Thank you for taking the time to explain the different personalities with such detail
It just hit me. Gargamel, from the smurfs.
Thank you do much! I do think its like a laser beam we need to hone over time, I've learned that the intensity I can give off can influence in ways that have shocked me, so the gentle glow approach is well practiced, if I didn't know knows what would have become of people in my life. The first major evidence of this was when I was a kid and loved Tolkien and I fong know how but an acquaintance took it as some really in depth knowledge and decided I could speak the elvish language sindarian and learnt it himself and presented a speech to the class, thinking I was the only one who'd know what he said. He went on to go to oxford and I think hes a lawyer now. This went on for tears, and I went through stages of trying to never speak of my interests. Now I know how subtly speak of them without radically transforming people with them, but gently influencing, which I dont think I have much control over, it just happens, I can only control the intensity.
I feel sometimes that i focus so much on one person, when i listen, my attention is like a laser beam and that can be a bit too intense for the other person 😅 not everybody feels comfortable in this bright spotlight. But people who love the attention sure do love it 💛 being Infj is lonely when young, but amazing when you know how to handle your own talents and people.⚓
@@fiction589 completely agree over learned how to interact so I not long scare people with my "intensity" at least it's been years since anyone has said I'm intense.
I would subscribe everytime you upload if I weren't subscribed already, your videos are fantastic!
please a video of interaction INTP / INFJ
I tend to be a gentle guide to my close friends (other people - not so much, because #trustissues) but I feel like they ususally don't take my advice and kinda... don't respect me when I give them my input? Which is a shame because after some time they usually resalise I am right. But I guess sometimes things need to truly click for people in order to work for them.
Honestly you have a gift🎁 You nail it everytime. I love your videos.
The thumbnail is adorable
This video was so fitting I am amazed
Absolutely on point, just as always
Spot on...again. Gentle guide, yes. But sometimes you have to shake them a bit ;)
This kinda reminds me of a scene in Schindler's List.
Schindler explains to Goeth (a Nazi concentration camp manager) that real power comes with being able to forgive, having the authority to pardon crime. I recommend to anyone who hasn't seen the movie to watch this scene. It's the most INFJ thing you'll ever see. Here: ua-cam.com/video/eIVofd6H4ME/v-deo.html
Schindler by the way, secretly hates seeing the Jews killed and it's his mission to save as many lives as possible.
As INFJs are social chameleons and often adapt greatly around other people, I would be very interested in hearing your advice on how to do this in a healthy way, as it can cause a lot of people-pleasing or co-dependent behaviours that risk losing authenticity and a sense of self like you said