Don't let the expectations of others define you
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- Опубліковано 7 лют 2025
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The video 'Don't let the expectations of others define you' was recorded by Fr Seraphim (Aldea) at Mull Monastery (The Orthodox Monastery of All Celtic Saints), on the Isle of Mull.
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May God bless us all!
I am Protestant… but I feel a calling towards Orthodoxy I cannot deny. I am not sure what I will do, but please pray that I can have the courage to step out in faith and follow where he leads me.
try to pick up the Orthodox Christian study Bible.. it's all there ! God bless
"they built in you an idol in their image", "you end as a puppet"
God bless you, Father. As someone with a chronic illness who is guilty of pretending that I can do thing that I cannot, your message was very important for me to hear. Thank you so much.
Thank you father and I pray for you to be eased of pain.
May God's will be done, dear one. My pain is nothing in the face of what countless others are suffering. This humbles me and puts everything into perspective.
Father Seraphim, last year I sent you an email and, perhaps to my surprise, within a week or two you made a video directly responding to me. I will send you a follow up email sometime soon, but I want to truly thank you and tell you that through the grace of the Lord things have been much better for me in the issue which I brought up to you, though we all continue our struggles in our earthly lives. I cannot thank you enough for your prayer and your wisdom. I hope that one day I get the chance to thank you in person. Glory to God.
I’ve never had such a message that hit me as this message. It is as if Jesus Himself was talking to me about no one else knows about. Thank God that I found you. I must be with you throughout the years.
pray for me people, i am very sick
God bless you and strengthen you 🙏✝️
May the good Lord bless you and grant you all the strength that you need!
May Christ lead you to His Love, dear one. May you find peace and healing in Him.
God bless you with good health and peace!
Lord be merciful to you. ☦️
Very sweet Father lost my Wife Mary 158 days ago and in my mind and soul is the question who the heck am I very helpful sermon to me Thank You 🤗👍🏋️♀️🤺☦️☦️
I have some understanding of what you said here. It seems that the loss of a spouse causes us to have many questions.. and we must learn to live a new way.
I have only watched about 7 mns so far.
Needed to stop, actually, because i needed to receive the words more slowly.. which i had not expected when he began.
But i lost my husband in September, and somehow i am being required to become a new person, so these words have far more power for me than i had expected..
Memory Eternal !, to both of our spouses.
☦️📿💝📿☦️
Father seraphim
May God give you patience to endure your illness, and thank you for your talks.🙏
From Australia
I am so very grateful for your talks . God bless! Thank you again for your videos.
This is exactly what I've been going through all my life. I always felt different from others, always searching for something spiritual and from another world. My parents are not religious, I knew very little about God but after long periods of suffering and pain - God revealed to me that He wants me to be a nun. In that time I was still an atheist. All my life I knew that I am not who I am and I'm far away from what I am supposed to be, battling with that social anxiety, extreme feelings of guilt, shame and self hatred.
Now, everything makes sense. My parents will be destroyed by my decision, my family ashamed of me, but GLORY and THANKS to God I will actually live my life and pursue the person I am cold to become.
God bless you and your monestery father!
Father, im starting to do better now, i made alot of progress, but im afraid, i feel like im losting direction in life, pray for me, God bless you in every way, amen ✝️
I don't ever know what to expect from any person, regardless of their life choices. You always surprise me, in a wonderful way. Your topics hit home repeatedly.
I've spent my whole life not really knowing who I am. I integrated parts of other people I admired into myself from a young age in order to offset abuse. Every psychiatrist says this is normal for my situation. I am still struggling today. Up until recently, I never even considered I was worth anything at all.
I don't say this for pity. I just find it beautiful you know yourself.
Whenever I speak to myself internally (or are given the words) with some compassionate wisdom. I've found myself hearing it in your voice.
Let everyone be who they are! And live In truth.
That is perhaps one of the most beautiful and humbling things anyone has ever told me, dear one, and it heals so much in me to be told something like this. May Christ bless you to the core of your being for your kindness, dear one.
@@mullmonasteryutterly wonderful
Without knowing me, it is impossible to show you how much your work helps me. You must simply take my word for it. Your honesty and genuine words reminds me of St. Augustine. Thank you.
May the Lord bless and keep and uphold you Fr. Seraphim! Thank you for continually praying for us all in this fallen world and I thank God the Father for your endurance for bringing the light of the Holy Spirit to us. Be blessed Fr. Seraphim. 🙏🏾🕊
May we all be blessed, dear one. Thank you for your prayers and may God hear you, despite my unworthiness
Once aagin Father Seraphim you have hit the spot. God Bless you and your ministry. Thank you...
Glory be to God, dear one. These are not 'popular' topics, but they are at the front of my mind
Spent last weekend on mull,and stayed in the cottage directly behind the church we where blessed by a visit inside by sister Theodore,thank you for all the videos and the beautiful,peaceful place your community gives to all.
Amém, amém 🙏🏻🙌🏻✝️
Such a timely video for me. Many blessings. Thank you very much.
Father, that's such a sound practical advice: telling people how you feel so that they know why you act in a way or another! But that entails 1) actually knowing how and what you feel 2) knowing how to express how you feel...
One should always pay attention to oneself, dear one. It's part of the way of life of a Christian - keeping vigil, watching over oneself. And one does not have to be too eloquent to say 'I am not well today'. What is needed (and what is difficult to find) is a safe environment, in which your honesty and vulnerability are not used against you for abuse. I have been in those contexts too and they make it impossible for you to be who you are.
@@mullmonastery
Father, I can not say what your words today mean to me. More than a Thank you God for hearing my prayers. You, by being who God made you, reached into my heart today where a prayer have been repeated to God. Dear God give me clarity in my thoughts. Should I continue my path as a doctor and pretend, pretend like I always have to be someone I'm not. Someone without my chronic illnesses. Someone who doesn't long for her children every second of her day. Someone with totally different values than I have. Shaping myself to others and continually failing when my body fails. Having friendships at work where I am absent since I'm playing a role. And being abused by actions and words from coworker and bosses when I need support because of my chronic illness. Or should I allow my weakness to exist, to guide me in finding a way where my whole self can exist. Where I don't have to lie to myself and others. It is all connected. When I suppress how I feel I lose touch with all parts of myself and I become like this robot you talk about.
How good God is that he gave us his church, that we believer can support and love each other through time and space. I will carry this sermon with me and ponder it. Amen.
God bless you, father!!
Thank you, for this message. I can't expect others to always accept me but I can't not be honest to others. Not everyone likes who I am but I must keep living.
I pray that the Lord comforts you and gives you strength in your sufferings.
May Christ heal and comfort you, dear Father Seraphim.
I really needed to hear this today.
You have opened my eyes on my current situation. Thanks
God bless you
God bless you, Father, and may he make you well, free from migraines. Amen 🙏. Thank you for your message.
May Christ grant you good health dear father
Greetings, beautiful message Fr. Seraphim ☦️ Glory be to God
Thank you for your honesty and your beautiful encouragement to be Authentic. Bless you 🙏❤️
Thank you for this message Father. Please pray for me.
May God bless you and protect you, dear one
Thank you Father ☦️🙏🕊️
Tough cheese! I’ve never heard this expression. Thank you Father Seraphim.
This was not what I expected but ends up being so true. We build idols of ourselves others and are disappointed in the end. Our self delusion causes pain and sometimes leads to sin. I have been on both ends and its almost painful to think about.
Thank you for sharing this and for your self reflection and humility. May God give us all humility and mercy on all of us.
Thank you tor the words of encouragement. God bless you Father.
Regardless of unloving criticisms many have of you: There are many times when I have struggled with a particular thorn in my side. Many times you have uploaded something that plucks that thorn from its place. I have met you in person before and you have done the same then. I pray earnestly for you and for your brothers and sister on the Isles. God bless you all.
☦
Thank you, Father. This is another message that speaks to my heart. I'd like to believe that by the grace of God I project a much truer image of myself to others compared to how I used to.
I am however, very guilty of holding some people up on a pedestal that they can't possibly stand upon, and you're right; it's enough to seriously wound a relationship if left unchecked. I pray that God grants me all the discernment necessary to deal with these issues.
Thank you
Oh, dear Father Seraphim., i just watched the rest of the video...after i had stopped it and left a first message.
Honestly, i am amazed at how perfect they are for me today and now in my life.
A great support for me.. It seems that from your pain, you spoke deeply truthfully to us.
Every word had value. None of them "fell to the ground ".
I often remember the icon of Jesus beside the Royal Doors at the little St. Herman Church where i , and then l later my husband, was received into the Orthodox Church.
I often looked up at Him and asked Him to help me become the woman He wanted me to be.
Had created me to be.
I still look at His icon where i am now able to go and ask the same thing, but there was something about that first one that somehow penetrated me.
I want to see some changes in me. HE surely gave us troubles within which to learn, but i DARE NOT say that they have happened. I am aware of the danger of such thoughts..
So, i will just keep praying because i have a long way to go.. a long way.
This is the nc feast day of St. Seraphim, so i appreciate your words even more.
Thank you.
Thank you. ☦️📿💝📿☦️
Amen, Amen, Amen ❤🙏❤️
Thanku father - the tunnel is an amazing sanctuary of abundance - the sweet peas are awesome - - the smell in there must be exquisite ❤- appreciate again your open truthful heart - such truth 🙏🏽 fully resonate withe yr sharing of roles 👍🏽 hope u didn’t forget to close the windows 🤣again - Thanku for ‘walking your truth’ 🕯️
Thankyou Fr Seraphim. The truth in this is both devastating and liberating. Praying for you 🙏
Everlasting Father,
Please forgive me for the time I have imposed my expectations on others. Please also forgive me for taking offence when other people don’t meet my expectations. Lord Jesus Christ have mercy on me the worst sinners. Please pray for me Father Seraphim 🙏🏻. Praying for your complete healing of your discs.🙏🏻
I am happy to see another post ❤
Thank you for continuing to share your wisdom ~ Father bless.
So happy and blessed to find in to this chanel. Thanks 😊
Wow,amazing words,Dear Fr.!Thank You so much!But I m sorry for Your pain!God comfort You!🥺😔💔🙏
God is so good! God bless you!
This video has not even been running for 7 minutes and i must thank you for what you are saying and how you are saying it.
In communion of prayer, with many blessings
I love this video. Thank you so much Father.
Tough cheese 😆 very much appreciated this video.
Beautiful.
"even though the sublime dignity of Priesthood raises them higher than the Angels, they are still but weak and imperfect men." Saint Therese of Lisieux
Pray for priests
Thank you very much, father for your words. They really spoke to my heart and gave me insights and clarity
I never heard this kind deep and real spiritual talk in Christianity in America til I discovered Orthodox. I had a background in Zen and I liked how hardcore it was but the people kept their mental egos and there was not much emphasis on moral behavior. You could still be treated fairly badly by zen people. Coming to Orthodox there is a very rigorous explanation of The Way and where it comes from, but I like it mainly for an unexplainable vibe I get from the people. I think any religion where people are so humble and real and not on their high horses must be doing something right.
Ata marie, dear fr Seraphim. Peace of the morning to you from the otherr end of the world, Dunedin nz. Your frank, honest expressions this morning havve given me hope and a new sense of trust in God's merciful compassion.. I feel your pain as i too suffer from much pain & catch glimpses of times when i try to downplay it or disguise it from others & times when i do express it to my carers & they flippantly pass it off as nothing or you're just old & belittling it. All this has consequences! But Christ is continuously calling us into new and authentic relationship with Him and with those around us when we have a heart to listen and to trust. I know how pain can drag us down at times...
Be assured dear Fr Seraphim of my ongoing prayers for you and for an easement of your pain. Blessings from down under!
It's a joy to see another person from NZ here! I'm much further north myself. Just goes to show how far Fr. Seraphim's message spreads.
Humbling and inspiring message to me personally. The Abbot of the St Sabbas Monastery in Harper Woods, Michigan where we worship since converting to Orthodoxy from Protestantism and RCC in 2016 is our Spiritual Father. He is a true blessing to us from our Lord as I am sure yiu are there in this Monastery. I am so glad we found your messages on UA-cam.🙏☦️🙏
'You become the 'echo' of the worlds expectations '.
I am in and amidst this present battle. I seek Christ and the fulfillment of the True path. I have gone too far with unstable expectations and have achieved nothing. Please pray for me for I am a sinner
Amen
I REALLY need this word❤✝️
Thank you!!! Blessings
most bad things i did were consequences of peer pressures. “A time is coming when men will go mad, and when they see someone who is not mad, they will attack him, saying, 'You are mad; you are not like us'.” (St. Antony the Great)
Thank you for the reminder that I am not alone and should not expect a different cross. Also, if you might consider it, there are some medicinal plants which can help ease the pain of migraines. Skullcap, meadowsweet, and blue vervain are herbs that I turn to now when the pain begins. Only one is needed depending on the origin of the pain, stress for example. *(the internet suggests consulting a physician)* or there are probably qualified herbalists in your area. Prayers for your pain to subside.
„Cunoașterea profundă a sinelui este o îndatorire fundamentală a omului. Fără cunoașterea de sine, omul rătăcește printre propriile gânduri, este înrobit în fapt feluritelor patimi, chinuit de pofte năprasnice, se îndeletnicește cu multe lucruri deșarte, nu duce o viață rânduită, ci risipită și plină de frământări, dând greș în toate. Se poticnește pe făgașul vieții sale, clătinându-se la fiece pas, se împiedică și cade, zdrobindu-se. Se adapă singur zi de zi cu tristețe și amărăciune, își umple inima de suferință și trăiește, îndeobște, o viață de neîndurat.”
Sfântul Nectarie din Eghina
I have serious, permanent injuries to my back. I had to get my discs fused together. I would advise you get a TENS device. It's electrodes and a control unit. This device can override the cramping in the injured back which causes contortion and most of the pain. It is life changing. I then take Flexeril for when the muscles are so tight I am in agony and unable to rise from bed. This forces the injured muscles to relax, so my back can fall back into a natural shape. God bless and preserve you.
❤
Father, have you ever had a sleep study done to check for sleep apnea? I also have migraines and used to wake up with a migraine about 15-20 days per month. No physician could figure it out. After nearly two decades they did a sleep study and saw I wasn't breathing for long periods in my sleep! I've since worn a CPAP and I get a migraine maybe once or twice a month now. Waking up first thing with a migraine is a symptom of sleep apnea. Perhaps they have already evaluated you for this. Praying for you, Father Seraphim ☦️
What are your thoughts on Ecumenism? What do the Saints teach? Should we “fight from within” or flee heresy? What do you think Saint Mark of Ephesus would do in our day and age?
So how to we differentiate from others around us pushing us to be better, and not meeting their expectations?
I’ve lived a lie for so long now I don’t even know who I am anymore.
Yes those great expectations :D A cruel thing. Sometimes I trust priests - catholic priests - too much, more precisely, I consider their difference, arising from the sanctity of the priesthood, to be something bigger than it is and I start telling them things about my life, which then they cannot process and then they accuse me of lying, stand on the side of my aggressors (I guess, male solidarity or something ) and begin to hate me and ignore me. On the other hand, people have incredible ideas about me and I disappoint them daily. firstly, men have formed some strange idea about me in the manner of Malena (from the movie) and it is not in my power to beat it out of their brains (and I try to do such for 30 years! - I'm almost 43 now). So I avoid them :) And then there are the strange ideas that I might be criticized for living a closed life, not wanting to have friendships, not wanting to have "fun" . I also had to give up on explaining something. I don't know where people get the audacity to want me to do or feel this or that.
legendary title
Thank you dear father
It’s so difficult to discern if you are being genuine or not ; what is a clear outer or inner sign of being real and your authentic self in Christ ? I am actually really scared of burying my talent and never truly knowing my potential in Christ ..any advice would be helpful
God bless
It is difficult, dear one, and we have to start where we are. Trust that voice in you, as faint as it may be, and move forward. The more you listen to that voice, the stronger it will speak. You will feel safe, grounded in a Truth that is higher that yourself - even if there will be trouble ahead, this grounding will keep your heart free and at peace.
Exactly ‘tough cheese’
Father, I've seen more than once (ok, twice) how damaging the idea that the priest should be/ do this and that is for the parish itself... I think we should have a crush course on how to temper our expectations vis-a-vis clergy, bishop as well as laypeople
It's not about tempering these expectations, dear one. It's about not having them at all and allowing them to be who they are. If you have a 'low' expectation of someone, that low expectation will shape that person and you will both lose. It simply is about allowing everyone to be who they are, and rejoicing in our differences, seeing them as strengths and complementing (rather than copying) each other.
@mullmonastery beautiful, beautiful answer. Just as we hope that others and our priests allow us to be who we are.. otherwise our lives and confessions are skewed
Thank you.
Every once in a while i think about meeting you at HVM in LA,CA on your trip there yrs ago or so..
I don't remember when, but i remember you.. even as i had no real understanding of what you were taking on.
The Lord is doing a work there far more wonderful than i knew how to imagine.
6:
Thank you deeply, Father Seraphim, for such a wonderful, true, necessary and enlighted word.
May God fills your heart with His Holy Grace.
Gratefully!
No, Father, it is not theoretical : you see building idols in marriages all the time ("you're not the person I met" refrain)
Thank you. 🙏✝️🧎🏻♂️
❤