story chapters ✨ : 00:00 - Welcome to my UA-cam Story 02:33 - 2010-2013 | How it all started 08:39 - 2014 | My Life Changes 10:30 - 2015 | A Change of Networks 11:56 - 2016 | One Million Subscribers 15:00 - 2017 | Moved to Toronto 21:18 - 2018 | The Peak 26:43 - 2019 | The Tipping Point 33:26 - 2020 | The World Flips Upside Down 43:28 - 2021 | A New Beginning
46:46 responsibility & uplifting spelling fixes, dangit -- got a new laptop (this was the last video I edited on my old one which also feels symbolic) so I officially have a working keyboard again **crowd applause**
I really hope you read this. It’s weird to me when you talk about that part of your journey losing followers. These were the moments were I connected and related to you more and more. It was real, and the vulnerable true human that you were/ are started to crack through and I connected to you. I watch you because you help me strive to be a better version of myself so I can show up to the world. I feel so immensely proud of you for being honest this way. I hope it truely helped you #cathartic-ise. Lol. I know it’s easier said then done and I know I truely don’t understand as a viewer and not a content creator who runs a business. But if I could offer and advice as a viewer. Stop disclaiming everything you do. Girl you badass and the moments you pass that fear barrier and just say what you need to say. I’m here rooting and cheering for you. Remember there will ALWAYS be more people here loving and cheering you on then the haters. I hope I get to follow and grow with you for many years to come. You bring me a sense of ‘coming home’ and I genuinely love seeing you thrive deep into your roots. Thankyou we are so lucky and blessed from you being so true and authentic to us. 💛 You do you. To our favourite fall queen!
I'm so glad that you finally look like you are moving in a direction better suited for you. You really helped wind me down in my single mom journey. You always help me remember I can't control everything and always take a breath, and now you remind me to teach my 3yo son to take a breath too💞❤️🥰
I watch your videos since 2015 (i was 15 years old, now 21) and i still love them. Thank you for your content and your great personality. Love you so much. Greetings from Germany :)
Hey Kalyn I know you posted this a while ago but I really loved the video I feel like we kinda grew together cuz I remember a lot of those videos n I always love your fall videos love you so much girl sending you lots of love🧡🧡🧡
I haven’t commented often but have been watching your channel since the end of 2016. I always found myself coming back to your videos. As a fellow creator where this is my full time job, I resonate with so much of what you said here. But way beyond that, even with all the time I spend on UA-cam, your channel and journey is the one that has always stood out to me. There’s no one like you. Who shares in the way you do, who is authentic both in struggles and victories, who is willing to have the courage to grow in public. You are incredibly special. I have always found such hope in your words. Our lives look a lot different but from an emotional perspective I often feel like our paths were kind of mirrored. Thank you - truly. For all you’ve done, for all you’ve shared, for your vulnerability and actual authenticity. You’ve really helped me a lot, for years. 💜
Kalyn, I want you to know that there’s no way I’ll be ever able to repay you for everything you’ve done for me. I started watching your videos right when you moved to Toronto, and since then it’s you I’ve gone to to look for guidance, for inspiration, and love. I was eighteen then, and now when I’m twenty two I can’t imagine what my life had been if I hadn’t had you. Because you just generate love, you completely glow with it. And everything you do makes me want to become a better person. Whenever I’m scared, or unsure, I rewatch your coffee talks and vlogs, or simply ask myself ”what would Kalyn say/do about this?” I want you to know, that because of you: I started doing yoga, I’ve gone to therapy, I’ve overcome my extreme phobias, I’ve started living for myself and not for anyone else. Because of you: I’m now proud of myself, and I know that you’d be proud of me as well, if you had seen my journey that’s been going on besides your own. It’s a privilege to watch your journey, and I’m so thankful that the universe brought me to you. You’re the big sister I never had, you’re someone who I feel so deeply connected to that I don’t ever think of you as an ”influencer” or youtuber. You’re my friend. My dear dear dear friend. And I root for you, I get exited when I see you thrive. Because if anyone deserves it - it’s you. With that being said, thank you for this video, you’re so brave for posting this and being so open with us. I cried half way through it, because I feel so much for you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. Please know, that I truly truly love you to the moon and back.
Honestly couldn't have said it better, I completely feel the same as you Erica! Thank you so much for allowing us in your life and being a safe place for so many of us! Your one in a million, one of the only youtubers I have always watched and been excited to see content from for over 6 years now! You are a shining light to so many of us
I agree. Thank you for sharing your life and for your videos which has become a part of my life. I always look forward to seeing your videos. You are worthy and we love you. Xoxo❤️❤️❤️
This is the kind of paragraph that makes me tear up in a book- it’s that perfect, it’s that beautiful and it is honestly the most truthful thank you so much for putting into words what so many of us felt ❤️
This video must have taken so much bravery to film and share. Thank you for your willingness to be vulnerable and for always bringing your light to your online community ❤️ I started watching you back in high school and you were one of the UA-camrs who inspired me to start my own channel. I’m sad to hear how much pain you were in while having to put on a brave face for all of us but I am so glad to know you’re in a better place now. Your future is so bright! ❤️❤️
you’re the only creator i’ve watched religiously for the last four years. you’re like my internet big sister + watching you grow through the years has been magical. thank you for all your hard work 🤍🏹💫
"I don't feel worthy of all of the support" that broke my heart! I've been around since 2014-2015 and I think I speak for a lot of subscribers when I say that we grew up with you through all of the hard times! You are the only UA-cam I've actively tuned into over the years. We are lucky to have you and this space here ❤
Since discovering your channel in 2016 right after I moved into my first apartment all by myself (also being a content creator and staying home alone a lot) you've been a HUGE inspiration to me.. ❤️ Seeing this side of your story is just such a full-circle moment to me since I could relate sooo much when it comes to being one person on camera an trying to deal a bunch of stuff in the offline world and everything business that's going on behind the scenes. I feel like no one can understand all of this until you're in the exact same position. So thank you for understanding me with that video. Just leaving a virtual hug, you are great. ✨
Kalyn, this is me crying. I just wanted to say that I am very proud of you. I have been here almost since the very beginning and I always felt proud of you, inspired by you and connected to you, you were always a sister and a friend in my eyes instead of an online creator. Listening to your story made me feel even more connected to you and proud of your journey. Sometimes it's hard to realize how much depth someone's life and how many aspects can't be shown online. I haven't known someone deal with so many sh*t and continue to try and inspire others. You are a rare light in this world and I feel so grateful that you chose to share that light with us. I am so happy you ended up rooting and didn't give up and I know better things are coming your way because you deserve everything you got and so much more!! sending you THE BIGGEST hug
I feel like everyone else in the comment section more than perfectly described how I am feeling - I cried so much and as a typically silent viewer, I truly have not thanked you enough for everything you have done over the years. Watching some of those videos brought such nostalgia as I started watching you back around 2014 when I was in high school, you always felt like an older sister to me. You have inspired me so much; I started yoga, therapy, stopped eating meat, and really prioritized my self-healing journey because of you. I am confident that I would not be the person I am today if it wasn't for you and your videos. Thank you a million times over, I appreciate you and your content so so much more than I could ever describe ❤️
I was so afraid you were going to say this was your final video. I’ve been watching for years, bought all your books, and been so completely inspired by you. You have had a huge impact on me and I can’t wait to see the difference you make in this world as time goes on 💖 I wish you all the best in anything you choose to do!
Kalyn... i just LOVE you. I can't describe how much you have influenced my life. And i can't think of any words that actually reflect how important you have been in my life. I found your channel when I was like 22, and you are one of the kindest people I know. I thank the universe so much for you and your decision to share your life online. You truly don't know how much of an impact you have in our lives. Your videos and your life had helped me through some hard times, and watching your videos is the absolute highlight of my day. So thank you for existing, and thank you for keep sharing your life with us. It's a truly honor!!
I am much older than you. I’ve struggled from time to time with the fact that my favorite “UA-camr” is young enough to be my daughter. I’ve come to realize that I relate to your journey. Watching you has helped me deal with the emotions I didn’t know how to deal with at your age. You should be proud of who you are, what you’ve accomplished and this life you have created. You have helped many people whether you know about them or not. What gains followers is authenticity. You have that, don’t ever lose it. Thank you for many years of entertainment, knowledge, and help! ❤️
I just searched your name because I remember watching you since I was around 10 years old, I was still in 5th grade. The night before school I always look at your videos so I can plan my whole style and different hairstyles I would do. Now i’m a senior and just realize how time changes everything!! You are still an inspiration to me and I’m glad you are doing well. :)
this was emotional to watch cause as you were going through the years within your journey, i was thinking of my past years and the versions of myself i was back when i watched those videos. all i can say is i wish i could give you a real life hug kalyn 💛
Kalyn I started watching your videos in 2015 and I remember thinking you are such a remarkable person that I couldn't wait each week (or day) to watch your newest video. I cried with you when you cried in the videos last year and I felt (and prayed) for you. 🌸 I know you've been through a lot and all I can say is (talking from experience) that our greatest validation comes when we realize how much Jesus loves us and when we know who we are in him. I've also been through things that are almost impossible to overcome, but accepting Jesus and believing and trusting in Him, pulled me through it all. I can't explain the love and peace and contentment you feel when the Holy Spirit lives in you. I had bad depression and anxiety and with His help, I overcame it. I know a lot of people don't want to believe or have a relationship with Jesus because of bad Christian experiences, and I felt the same, but I focused on me and Jesus alone and how He could change my life. I focused on how I can have a relationship with Him rather than the religion. I remember that one time feeling like, how you described it in this video, and feeling my anxiety and depression hitting me so hard but then I just fell on my knees and I cried my eyes out while talking to Jesus and the relief and peace I felt as soon as I asked the Holy Spirit to come into my heart.... it's indescribable. I really really pray and hope that you can be free from all the things that hurt you so much. All my love❤️ PS. THANK YOU FOR THIS VIDEO❤️
You’re the closest person I’ve ever resonated with on UA-cam and feel like I can really connect to you, even though I don’t technically know you 💕 you can be posting the same videos over and over again and I’ll still show up to watch it 😊 but if you ever need another break, just know you can take it and we’ll all be here
I am ugly crying. I have watched since 2014/2015 and I feel like i’ve 100% grown up with you and our timelines are very parallel. You’ve been such a huge source of inspiration. I can’t thank you enough for your honesty and vulnerability. This seems like a weird concept but I truly do love you! I care about your journey so much and I’m so proud of where you are now.
This video nearly made me ugly cry at work, and if I hadn't been at work, I would have just let those tears fall. I've been watching since 2015, and it has been such a privilege to see your channel and you grow. As someone who's feeling very lost and confused at the moment, especially in regards to the future, this was super super hopeful and inspiring and grounding. Thank you
ok, so first off! YOU ARE WORTHY OF OUR SUPPORT! You literally are my bestfriend, although you don´t know who I am, haha. And accepting a person for who they are is so easy to me, and natural, because we all change like the weather 🤍 It does not mean that I will stop loving and supporting your soul and seeing the kindness that radiates from you! Your change is beautiful, and your journey is beautiful and the road ahead will also be beautiful! I find myself resonating with you on such a deep level it´s insane! I truly believe you are one of my spirit guides, thank you forever! ❤️
I can’t imagine how much courage it took to create this video, but i’m genuinely so grateful to have had the chance to see it. i hope the response is a reflection of what a loving community you have created here. Kalyn, i’ve been watching you for a long time, through so many good and bad times in my life, as well as in yours, and i truly feel like we have grown together. I am not fully there yet, but you have always been such an inspiration for me, probably my main inspiration at some points. The truth is, I spent a long time wishing I was you.. that’s probably hard to read after just discussing that what was on the screen often wasn’t the whole truth, but there was always something drawing me to you, and it wasn’t your happy, bubbly facade. Your spirit has always felt so genuine and comforting for me. Another ugly truth is that during my darker times, your life, your body, your career (on the screen) were things I only dreamed of, but you were always there to remind me to strive to be more like me and find who I am instead of idolize you or other creators. I’m sorry there were times you put everything aside to show up for us, but you have grown into such a strong woman through it all, and i hope i speak for the entire koze community when i say i love you unconditionally. Thank you for sharing your journey. It was fun to look back with you, but it is even better to see you now and who you have become.
Wow... Watching for so many years I really enjoyed this and I know this was extremely hard for you to make. It's weird watching back your memories because I know exactly where I was at when I first watched them both mentally and physically. We have all been on this crazy roller coaster ride and I'm really happy you are sharing these things with us Kalyn. I'm really excited where you ... No we :) .... All go from here 💕
Wow, I just feel like we had a deep heart to heart which led to some tears on this end as well. Even though I've been watching your channel since 2015, I feel like I just lived through your struggles, your small and big moments in a more intimate way. Thank you for being so vulnerable, I can imagine how difficult it just have been. I relate to you so deeply, especially with seeking validation, feeling a sense of not belonging and struggling with self love. Which is precisely why I've not only stuck along for 6 years, but I've also grown with you, because of your content. Your channel has always brought me peace, love and 0 judgement. Please remember this on the days the numbers don't do justice. ❤️ Ps how cute was lil Bentley!?!? 🥺
As somebody who left their job to start their own pottery business in 2020 I can totally understand the loneliness that can be felt. I work all day by myself, my boyfriend lives in Toronto and was in lock down so we were unable to see each other for over 7 months. I felt so disconnected from everybody and everything around me to the point I didn't even really want to do my own pottery work and would put it off until I HAD to do it. I am just starting to pick up the pieces and put myself back together again.
The other day I was telling myself I would really like to know the "behind the life" of my favorites UA-camrs (which you are part of). UA-camrs that inspire me, that live my "dream life" in appearance and basically seem to enjoy their best life. And this video shows up, and just confirms the fact that we are all humans. And that the online world is just a filter placed on our fucked up stories. And there you are, being vulnerable and honest about your story. It makes me feel emotional because I don't feel alone anymore. Behind "Kalyn Nicholson" channel there is a woman who was experiencing similar experiences as mine, and me naive who was just thinking that her life was perfect. But no one's life is perfect. I first discover your channel in 2018 and I am just amazed by your evolution. Hearing you on this platform or through your podcast is hearing this big sister that I never had. I truly admire you. Not only your career and what you choose to show us on this channel, but also you as a person. Thank you a lot Kalyn. For opening your truth, but also for all your work. I send you all my love, and I wish you the best for these coming years. A lot of love, connection and peace.
You are so worthy of our support! We’re all here because we love watching you, love who you’ve become as a person and can’t wait to see you become your best self ❤️ you’re amazing
You’ve been my favourite youtuber for about 5 years now and you’ve never disappointed. I love your energy, your content.. I’ve grown as your content has evolved and I feel like it’s always been exactly what I needed. Thank you for your passion and I’m so excited to see you grow more into the happiest version of yourself
I do not have words on how impactful, meaningful and utterly vital your presence has been on my journey in my twenties. I have religiously watched every single video on the very same day they were published since 2015. Just reading these comments and seeing all these people having the same story as I do makes me really happy. I feel like here in koze we truly have a community of like minded people
"How am I failing right now and people are still cheering me on?" Because you never failed. We don't have numbers or deadlines or qualifications for you in our heads. (Maybe some folks do, but those folks are not your support network.) We're just happy you're here with us on the journey, and bringing us along on yours.
I only stumbled upon this channel a couple years back. What made your channel my favorite from the start is just your way of portraying everyday life as is, honestly, but still being able to show the beauty. Whenever you show the imperfections of life, I’m reminded why I feel this channel is so perfect. You give me inspiration and motivation without giving me any toxic envy or comparing myself in a negative way. Watching you I just feel inspired. And at the end of the day that’s what I need, and probably what the world needs? You give me so much, and I can’t thank you enough. I always ration out your videos, so that there’s always one available in case of a bad day. I don’t know of any other more genuine youtubers. You inspire me all the way to the moon and back! Forever grateful for what you hand your videos have been able to do for meg. So much love
I'm so happy i found your channel! I love all your content, thank you for sharing your life with us! Thanks for always keeping it real, it's hard to watch other UA-camrs that seem to have it together all time but i love that you show us the lows too!
ah not half way through yet... but im actually crying! I remember finding you on youtube and your videos really helped me be more myself through sooo many insecure years! And learning about your story now, it´s SO sad, but SO beautiful!! gosh! my heart feelss this deeeeeep! ❤️
I’ve been watching you since 2012 consistently. I’m so proud of how far you’ve come and for never giving up even during all of these things. And I’m proud that you’ve remained a role model for not just me but so many others . Happy to say I’ve been around since the beginning ❤️
in absolute awe of the resilience and vulnerability you've shown in this video and in many others in the past. been watching you for years and years and I'll seriously be rooting for you from now until forever. there's always light at the end of the tunnel and you've truly been our light on our own darkest days. sending you all the good vibes and so much love, Kalyn!
Kalyn, I started watching your videos in the fall of 2016. We are the same age and both moved into our first apartments, completely alone that year! I found your channel before you moved to Toronto and was very intrigued! Once you moved to Toronto, I was HOOKED on your videos! I used to watch your videos every single day (at least several times a day) and was so inspired/motivated by you! I changed my routine to something healthier, I started a weekly cleaning routine thanks to your first gyst video, I started meal prepping, when I would normally just eat out! I even remember journaling about my goals because of one of your coffee talks. It was, ”I want to wake up everyday at 6 am, go for a run and know everyone when I walk in a room”. I wrote those down and they definitely happened! I have so many photos and videos from college with your channel on in the background! You were such a memorable part of that time in my life and I have kept up with you since! Most importantly, I have prayed for you very much, especially in 2019-2020. I know that when you talked to God in Bali that it was an answer to my prayers. I'm so glad you received the clarity that you needed and that you are in a much better place now. ❤️ love you always!!!
This was so incredibly beautiful and honest and I could really feel your authenticity and truth through the screen. Thank you for sharing so openly and taking the time to dive into your story in this way. You've been an inspiration to me over the years and this video only strengthened my love for you and your creations even more! I can't wait to see where this next phase of your journey takes you. Sending so much love to you always!
I have been here since 2013, I have seen all your videos, and from the bottom of my heart, as a human I have loved to see another human through ups and downs as one does; just been a companion of my own journey (sorry for the grammar, I am from Spain) Thank you for your creation 💛💛
Omg as you’re talking, I realize I’m recognizing almost every clip and realizing I’ve been with you for so long and it makes me so happy 🤍 I was bullied a lot for my UA-cam when I was younger and I stopped making videos for so long. I’m glad you got back into me, it took me longer but I’m getting there :)
I normally never comment on videos, but I’ve been watching you since I was around 16 and I’m 21 now. I went through a lot in high school and early college and your videos and this space you created online was my rock through it all. I truly don’t know what I would’ve done without it, and who I would be now if it weren’t for you. It’s hard to know how much pain you went through in the times where your videos were so happy. I have always been kind of a lone wolf too, and especially in college that has been painful. Hearing about your loneliness when you were my age now helps me not feel so isolated in what I’m going through. You have truly been like an older sister to me and have helped me out of so many dark times in my life. I hope the next chapters for you bring you joy, love, and happiness. Thank you for always being there for me and so many for all these years.
I have watched your channel since I was a lonely little middle schooler sitting on my bed in my parents' house. Last year I graduated college, had a baby, and am getting married next year after I start my career. Thank you for always being there for me regardless of what you had going on in your life. From the Fall Hauls to the LA vlogs, I have been around for it all and I cannot thank you enough for getting me through.
Your vulnerability is incredible and inspiring! Also the peep at Baby Bentley 😍 But honestly your honesty is so refreshing and your strength is incredible. (I also was OBSESSED with the game play videos).
Wow!!!! I used to watch your videos back in the mid 2010's because I loved your beautiful editing and your creativity was so inspiring. I was one of the folks that phased out as I started growing on my own spiritual journey. I came back now because I'm reinvesting in my UA-cam channel and I was looking for editing inspo and I thought, "I should see what Kalyn's up to!" I am so overjoyed to see that what you've been up to is healing your trauma and showing up in a deeply authentic way online. My own experience has also reminded me that when I show up as my real self, that's actually when I receive the most love because that's when I'm showing MYSELF the most love. I also really appreciate that you're reaffirming that no matter HOW MUCH people look like they've got their life together online, they could truly be going THROUGH IT. I'm so happy and proud of you for your growth and your continued journey. It's beautiful to witness. ❤️
You are the most badass, inspirational and kindest queen I know. I discovered your channel 5 years ago in summer 2016 around the time you reached 1 million subscribers and from then on I am still proud to be one of your subscribers, you are still my all time favourite UA-camr. I had a hard time in the first half of 2016 but seeing your videos inspired me to be strong. Youtober is my fav series on your channel as it's on the exact same month of my Birthday, your drawing your life video is also beautiful knowing me I just love to draw. I especially loved your 2018 and 2019 videos, those were some of the best years of my life and your videos helped get me through 2020 the worst year of my life. I'm so happy 2021 has brought you so much joy and I'm always thankful for you. Love you to the moon and back✨!
Your videos were always a big inspiration to my life. I really missed those days 18:39 when quarantine wasn't a thing. You shouldn't feel lonely at all, you're still young and pretty. Enjoy your life as much as you can. There are plenty of stuff one can do to socialize and communicate with the world. You can sign up in charities and communities for helping people and it will bring you so much joy in your life. be safe xo xo
Been here since youtube 2017 and I will never leave you! You are my favorite parasocial relationship that I have and the only one that I keep up and watch every video from. I know it’s embellishment to say I love you because you know that I don’t know you, but I love the you that you show up as here for us! Congratulations on making it through some difficult parts of your life so far, you’re doing so good! All the work you put into your growth and development is totally worth it!
It will always saddens my heart that we're not encountered in real life. Whenever I try to write you something I always end up just wishing you all the best. I truly hope you would be happy and at peace. You're such a pure lovely soul and I just love you ♥♥
Kalyn, you have been my internet big sister for 4 years. You are such a kind-hearted person. It is very clear to anyone who has been watching your videos. I know from a practical standpoint you still need as many subscribers as possible in order to get a paycheck at the end of the month, but honestly the more you create for the sake of creating something you love the more profound your content gets. I have loved your videos from the first time I've seen them, but what has made me stick throughout the years (and you are the only youtuber I've watched for this long) is trully your authenticity, your philosophic mind and your kindness. Yes, perhaps a 40 minute coffee talk isn't mainstream and many viewers won't listen to the entirety of it, but it is special. You're creating something special and different and that is the kind of beauty that is worth fighting for in life. Thank you so much for going against the crowd, for being different and authentic to yourself. This little crew of outsiders loves you Kalyn, so always take care of yourself first, let the pot get out of the steam from time to time, we will always be here when you get back
I soooo appreciate this video. I used to idolize your life back in 2017 when I was a stressed-out college student, who was juggling with friend drama, body image issues, and a family torn apart by divorce + an abusive mother. I wished back then I could be as organized and perky as you were and knowing that you were also going through something makes you and my perception of ideal feel so much more organic. Your strength, drive, and your passion for what you do is amazing and this just really shows that we've all got a journey to get through. I'm so happy you've come so far in your healing.
This was an incredible video! I started watching you in 2016 during one of the hardest times of my life. I became a huge fan during YouTober 2017 when I just started my PhD program, but was simultaneously going through an almost unmanageable depression. It was amazing to follow this journey with you and remember how the different content you put out was affecting me at different moments. I also remember seeing you struggle and worrying about you. I remember critical comments and feeling angry on your behalf because of all you were giving and it never seeming to be enough. Your life has always looked so beautiful and fascinating (I credit your incredible aesthetic eye and editing skill) that it was hard to imagine it not actually being perfect. But this video you filled in so many gaps and shared so vulnerably that I’m absolutely in awe of how survived! Just the constant stress level of your job on top of all the personal shit - you really are an incredibly strong person! You have so much to be proud of! I also had the thought that the reason your audience was so loving and supportive last October was because of the community YOU cultivated by being so open and vulnerable in all your 2020 videos. I cannot fathom how or why you have lost any subscribers, but all I can say is that those who are here are here for the right reasons. I just admire you so thoroughly. Also, I love that you said you don’t want to influence people, you want to help them. Your goals for focusing on more global/political stuff is really admirable. I can’t wait to follow your content along the way! Something that would be seriously cool would be to pull from the expertise of your followers to start exploring some of those issues. Anyway, this is the most rambling and ridiculous comment, so I’m sorry for not making better sense. All in all, I just want to thank you for another fantastic video and for such a beautiful careers, thus far. You’ve helped more than you know!
Oh Kalyn, I just want to reach out and give you a big hug. I’ve commented here and there but this time felt I really really needed to. I’m a grown ass adult. (Like really grown as in 63 years old.). I started watching UA-cam as an escape, for motivation, for inspiration, and came across your channel almost 10 years ago. I thought who is this gutsy young lady who’s putting it all out there, so bubbly and so authentic?? I’ve told you before that I’m a therapist and would try and make suggestions to you that would help your anxiety. I hope they did. I had no idea how difficult 2014 was for you. It was awful for me as well; my mother dying, a near miss with a heart attack, a daughter going through a horrible divorce and sinking deeply into alcoholism, a flood in my house... whew. And then there were millennials like you aging so bright, can paving the way for a new generation and wow how cool has that been to watch! Such an inspiration (even for an old gal like me 😘). I want to wish you the very best of luck in whatever you do in your future. You deserve it honey and don’t anymore tell you otherwise. Maybe one of these days I’ll find the nerve to sign up for your yoga class!
I've been following you since I believe it was 2014-2015. I always liked your energy, your vibe, your style ...and girl how can I forget you organization skills! You inspire me and motivate me so I've been always coming back to your channel when I need some pick me up and get my shit together! Lol because your stellar organization and hard work I thought you have dominant capricorn or virgo in your natal chart 😀 anyways just so you know you also have older followers, I'm almost 40! Please keep doing what you doing, love your content and I appreciate you so much ❤
So it’s the first day of cancer season and I am FEELING it, and literally sobbed for hours tonight over a numberrr of things I’ve been holding in for ages, and damn. Watching this video just felt like divine timing. I found your channel in youtober of 2016, and I’ve watched you go through so much and GROW so much, and as a very intuitive empath I just felt while watching those old videos the low points and everything you were going through, and it was just such an experience watching you talk about all of it in this video. You and your channel have been there for me through so much, time and time again. I will forever and always be grateful to you for that, and forever happy I found your channel in the first place. I love you to the moon and back, Kalyn! I can’t wait to see how you continue to grow from here💛✨
Been here since 2014 and all I have to say is I absolutely loved you through everything and YOU saved me as a teenage girl, you were my escape and I grew to become this version of myself that I adore. I live alone. I'm financially independant. I try to stick to routines and stay organized. You taught me more than anyone ever could❤️
I didn’t think I’d get so emotional watching this video but I realized I’ve been watching you since 2014. I was 19/20 and in college and really struggling. Your videos were the calm in the storm. I can’t imagine how hard this video must have been to film and share but thank you for sharing it. It’s amazing to feel less alone in the world, when you feel like you’re the only one struggling. Can’t wait to see what’s to come.
I don't comment often, but you're my favorite content creator and I remember so looking forward to your Youtober series every year and also thinking omg how does she film and edit all of this for us without going crazy? I'm sorry for all the pressure of life on you. I can relate to you a lot, being introverted, seeking perfection and looking for a physical location on earth to call home. Whenever I see you've uploaded I get so excited. Thank you for being honest, and sharing your life and always working so hard, but also for taking care of yourself now, Kalyn. We'll be here
I've been a lurker since the dark hair and the big chop phase, and watching you grow and change has been an insperation to do the same. I look to your videos when I want to know theres someone out there with the kind soul I want to cultivate mine into as well. I want to thank you for making the content you do, and tell you that I hope this community continues to give back to you, as you have sacrificed far too much for us. Thank you for being authentic, for being kind and giving. You're truly amazing
I have been following you since 2017, that year was a very dark year I went homeless with my husband I was depressed very suicidal everything was going wrong and I've came across one of your videos and I started watching them and I would watch him all the time that you posted it was a religious thing for me. You have saved me literally since 2017 I've had my ups and downs but everytime I'm sad or depressed my husband tells me to listen to one of your old podcast videos or watch one of your videos and it snaps me back. I enjoy both channels I enjoy everything that you do you have grown so much and I know that I can learn so much more from you. You really got me curious about yoga so when you do your yoga I sit there and I studying it and I want to learn about it and the health factors. I am a wife of six years with four cats in a two-bedroom apartment fighting anxiety and depression everyday and because of you I have a reason to wake up and learn and I want to travel in the tiny house LOL so thank you so very much for everything
I've seen you grow and become a different person on here, but now I realise that you've always been YOU and you embrace your true self everyday. No fake vibes here, only pure energy and so much love. That's why I'm still excited every time you upload. Not only on YT, like everywhere. Because what you said about the UA-cam girls you felt like were your friends... It feels like you've been my close friend for all these years and that friendship only became stronger. Shine bright, Kalyn and never stop underestimating yourself because we fucking love your videos and we fucking love YOU.
I'm not sure how many years I have followed you, but it has been a good while, and not once did I ever think to unfollow. Even with extended periods of no videos. I always knew "If she can't it's for a reason". I DEEPLY WISH you understood the aid your videos have given me. Not the perfect aesthetic ones (which are fire) but when you would speak about your depression or admit things that just made you seem so human. I felt like I wasn't alone. The love you get online is 100% deserved. I hate to sound corny but you have literally changed my life in the best way possible and I just wanted to thank you, so thank you Kalyn :) I also have to admit to totally crying with you during this video. I feel like I just went through something major like an intense book or something lol.
I doubt this comment will be seen, but I’ve been around since 2015 and the growth in your mental health and vulnerability has been amazing. As much as I loved the aesthetics you created, seeing YOU is more important. We’re all human and we all love you for you 💕
Crying and so moved by this video, you deserve all the support and I hope you let yourself feel this love!! So excited for the next chapter and can’t wait to join the full koze community when i can afford it!!! Sending so much love♥️♥️♥️
Over the years I remember the shit in my life I was going through and I would watch your content to sometimes just get through. Thank you for sharing your pain, it takes an immense amount of courage to put it out there. The Koze Crew is here for you no matter what capacity you need to show up in, at any chapter in your life 🤍 sending you all the healing vibes and I can’t wait to see where your life takes you! We’ll be here growing alongside you :) Also watching your Until Dawn series was weirdly some of my favorite content you’ve done in recent months, I’d save it to watch after grueling shifts at work and it was so oddly comforting, like I was just hanging out in the living room with a friend
Thank you for being so open and honest! It’s funny how I found you right in the midst of one of my lowest points as well. And I really felt connected to you for all the reasons you just explained but it really just felt like a connection between two people going through something emotional and unspoken. You don’t have to explain yourself but thank you for being so open because it DOES make me feel less alone. You’re a beautiful soul and I’ve been so thankful to be a part of your journey and have you be a part of mine. SO much love from Wisconsin🥰
Cannot tell you how many times I actually paused and cried with you in this video🥺 Must've taken so much courage to open up and speak about such difficult phases. But just know this Kalyn, when you see those number of unfollows, please also see the one odd million of us who have stuck around. Just because we genuinely love your content. Even if its just you hanging out with us over coffee or crying your eyes out, your audience that loves you is always gonna be here by your side! Lots of love!
Why am I crying right now? lol. Sending you so much love. Been here for quite a few years and I will definitely stay. You inspire me every single day by just being exactly who you are. Times get very rough sometimes but I hope you continue to feel the love and support we have for you.
I have watched you since my mom passed away in 2017. You have helped me in so many ways since then. I can’t ever see myself not watching your content because it has since been such a breath a of fresh air for me. YOU have always been such an inspiration to me. I’ve always appreciated videos where you review old stuff and just seeing your personal growth and your transparency through the whole thing is such a blessing. Thank you so much for all you’ve done for me.
i’ve apparently been here for 4 years?? thank you for sharing this wild journey with us- both in summary and in longevity. i’ve always vibed with you in both your ups and downs- it’s been so nice to hang with you through your videos and not feel as isolated. also, it seems like your soul is a bit more content nowadays, i’m so happy for you! you deserve it! ✨
Sooo, I am going to be super duper honest right now, because this video unlocked something in me. I’ve been following you since 2016, and as you mentioned, your channel was such an aesthetic. And I watched every single video I could find from you. Up until 2019, then something happened and then suddenly wasn’t always into every single video you made. And now it dawned on me… I was just being confronted with my own struggle with how I see myself. And seeing you work on your mental health just made me so uncomfortable. And I hate saying this, but this video made me realize it, how unhappy you were but still kept the mask on. And you working on that was just such a trigger and I did not even realize it. But since last year I’ve been seeing a therapist as well, working on my issues and now I connect way better with your content again, just because I fee good about myself and don’t need to follow these “perfect” people to feel better or something. This probably sounds super vague, and again it’s not that I want to sound negative or anything, I just want to say that seeing you evolve and listening to you story made me realize how much steps forward I’ve taken as well. And how nice it is to grow along with someone you actually don’t know, but still fee very connected to! I hope I made a bit of sense, but I want to thank you Kalyn for this video, for this channel, for you being you 💜✨ you are amazing! Lots of love 💜
I was so scared throughout this vlog. So many of the youtubers I watched throughout my early adulthood have left and I was dreading that this video was ending the same way. I am one of those followers who fell off for awhile but UA-cam has been something I’ve fallen back in love with over the past 6 months and I can honestly say the algorithm knows to put your videos front and center in my list. It’s been a privilege to grow up with you. I’m slightly older but your house purchase was around the same time as mine. When you first moved out was when I was moving into my first apartment alone as well. It’s truly been cathartic to click into your videos and watch someone who I weirdly consider a friend even though we’ve never truly met. You’ve done a great job cultivating this space even through your life trials. Thank you for sharing and being so vulnerable with all of us. It means so much to me. 🖤
I had never realized how much our lives intertwined. My parents also were in the middle of a split between 2016/2017 and that’s when I decided to move to Alaska. I’m feeling like I’m going through a wrap up of my own life ☺️
I started watching your videos around 2017 - when I was in high school. Your videos brought me a sense of stability that I didn't have in my own life. At one point, I would watch your videos to calm down and breathe because I felt (and still feel) trapped. When you discussed the point in your life where you were grasping for a sense of control - I resonated with that. It's easy to white-knuckle anything that makes it seem like, externally, we have everything under control. I am so happy that you are recovering and finding not just stability but a sense of softness in your craft. You're the only UA-cam creator where I've stopped and wondered how they were actually feeling, and I'm excited to see how your channel/personal life grow from here, Kalyn. I also applaud your vulnerability, I know that took a lot of bravery and planning.
I found your channel in 2012 when I was 13 during a very difficult time in my life. I’ve been an avid watcher since, your channel is literally my favorite out of anyone! Your videos and podcasts always lift me up when I need it the most. Thank you for being so vulnerable with us
Been here since 2015. Funny how you never know what someone is struggling with on the inside when everything seems ok on the outside. Sending so much love and positivity your way. ❤️
Kalyn your videos have truly changed my life for the better. I have gone through phases of my life - some of my darkest times - and your words (specifically your coffee talks) have pulled me through. As far as why I've stuck around, it's all you... the you deep inside, the beautiful and compassionate soul that shines out when you speak, no matter what you yourself are going through at the time. I grew up feeling like an outcast, too... definite awkward phase, teasing/bullying, never feeling "pretty enough" or "popular." If I'm being honest, it wasn't your perfectly curated life that drew me in... in fact, somebody as stunning as you with the perfect, Instagramable-looking life you've presented would ordinarily set off my alarm bells of insecurity and send me running in the other direction. I don't watch ANY other content that looks like yours or has your relatively polished aesthetic because it rarely feels authentic... but I've been watching for several years now because - whether you know it or believe it or not - you are overflowing with so much wisdom that I genuinely believe the Universe sent you to help others. (You're kind of my guru, ngl.) I don't watch EVERY video, but every video I do watch causes something to shift in me, just a little bit. It is not an exaggeration to say that you (and the books you recommend, please do more reading recommendations!) have saved my life. Thank you for all the love and beauty and wisdom you've contributed to the world, even when you yourself were going through some pretty dark times. We all love and appreciate you. ❤
Dear Kalyn, Thank you so much for taking courage to share your UA-cam story. I can only try to imagine what it takes to open up and share all the ups and downs down the road. Please know that you have one more member in your community who has been more than grateful to find you and your channel to add a bit of inspiration, older sister talks, time with a best friend and deep dive talks in her daily life. I am looking forward to your videos as it has become my weekend's routine with slow breakfast, cup of coffee (or several cups :-)) to take time for myself and nourish my mind with conversations with you. Thank you for keep going, thank you for your openness and thank you for being you!
One of the best honest videos I’ve seen on UA-cam by a creator. Thank you for taking your time opening up to us and seeing your journey. Those who are loyal to you will know your struggles and understand when there is no vlog you are a human too and need you time. For the days you do post I want to say I’m so grateful that you do 🙏🏻you are so inspirational with your simplicity and your empathy towards us allx
Girl. I am tearing up. I’ve been here since 2016 and I remember I saw a video from you on my homepage on UA-cam and I was like “that girl seems so nice and creative, I’mma check her out”, I subscribed to your channel and never left! Never skipped a video as well. I must say that you have grown soooo much and I am so proud of you. You’re like the sister I never had. Thank you so much for opening up to all of us. You are truly so inspiring. ❤️
I started watching you in 2016. I was only 14 at the time, but your videos made me feel like I had a big sister looking out for me in ways I didn't know I needed. I've struggled with my parents, from divorce to life choices to basic ideals. Your guidance gave me the strength to be a role model for my younger sister (which ended up being really important, now that she's in the double digits!) and to take care of myself. I would swear to myself that one day, I would create authentically like you did. And now I do. I just turned 19, so I'm about the age where you started. Knowing your story helps me be excited for mine. Thank you for being the best big sister, mother-of-cups energy I could have asked for. Thank you for the KOZE crew and for shining your light. Hope to visit Toronto one day. 💛
I discovered Kalyn by looking up a how to save money video in 2017 and her video popped up. I fell in love with her and her channel. It’s so amazing how her content and life makes me feel. Thank you Kalyn for always being real and humble and kind. I will forever grow and watch you’re videos. You show such strength and make this crazy world much kinder and cozy!!So happy to be apart of this journey with you through all the good bad and ugly. ❤️ Thank you for giving me hope, happiness and joy with you’re videos.
I went through a horrible breakup at the end of 2014 and had to leave everything I built and come back home. I was broken but somehow I found your channel very soon after and just felt an instant connection to you. You helped me pull myself back up and focus on myself to be the person I wanted to be. I have continued to follow you and love your videos. You are such a genuine and caring person and you have gotten me through so much in my life. Even now that I’m married with a beautiful little boy (and a baby girl due in November) I look forward to sitting down and watching your videos and just spending a little time together. Thank you for always being open and honest and so encouraging to anything we could be going through. 💜💜💜
This was so helpful for me! I guess what happens is that when you grow up in a "difficult" family environment, where there is no emotional support, you tend to look for it in other places. friends are not just friends they become family. Boyfriends are not just bfs they are a forever person. and when those break down, it hurts TO YOUR CORE. I've been struggling for years too and it has had a huge impact on my mental health. I understand now why. So, thank you. FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART.
Growth that comes with time, with experience makes a person more graceful and calm. We are all struggling and slowly becoming better too. Keep going guys, we got this.
story chapters ✨ :
00:00 - Welcome to my UA-cam Story
02:33 - 2010-2013 | How it all started
08:39 - 2014 | My Life Changes
10:30 - 2015 | A Change of Networks
11:56 - 2016 | One Million Subscribers
15:00 - 2017 | Moved to Toronto
21:18 - 2018 | The Peak
26:43 - 2019 | The Tipping Point
33:26 - 2020 | The World Flips Upside Down
43:28 - 2021 | A New Beginning
46:46 responsibility & uplifting spelling fixes, dangit -- got a new laptop (this was the last video I edited on my old one which also feels symbolic) so I officially have a working keyboard again **crowd applause**
I really hope you read this. It’s weird to me when you talk about that part of your journey losing followers. These were the moments were I connected and related to you more and more. It was real, and the vulnerable true human that you were/ are started to crack through and I connected to you. I watch you because you help me strive to be a better version of myself so I can show up to the world. I feel so immensely proud of you for being honest this way. I hope it truely helped you #cathartic-ise. Lol.
I know it’s easier said then done and I know I truely don’t understand as a viewer and not a content creator who runs a business. But if I could offer and advice as a viewer. Stop disclaiming everything you do. Girl you badass and the moments you pass that fear barrier and just say what you need to say. I’m here rooting and cheering for you.
Remember there will ALWAYS be more people here loving and cheering you on then the haters. I hope I get to follow and grow with you for many years to come. You bring me a sense of ‘coming home’ and I genuinely love seeing you thrive deep into your roots.
Thankyou we are so lucky and blessed from you being so true and authentic to us. 💛 You do you. To our favourite fall queen!
I'm so glad that you finally look like you are moving in a direction better suited for you. You really helped wind me down in my single mom journey. You always help me remember I can't control everything and always take a breath, and now you remind me to teach my 3yo son to take a breath too💞❤️🥰
I watch your videos since 2015 (i was 15 years old, now 21) and i still love them. Thank you for your content and your great personality. Love you so much. Greetings from Germany :)
Hey Kalyn I know you posted this a while ago but I really loved the video I feel like we kinda grew together cuz I remember a lot of those videos n I always love your fall videos love you so much girl sending you lots of love🧡🧡🧡
I haven’t commented often but have been watching your channel since the end of 2016. I always found myself coming back to your videos. As a fellow creator where this is my full time job, I resonate with so much of what you said here. But way beyond that, even with all the time I spend on UA-cam, your channel and journey is the one that has always stood out to me. There’s no one like you. Who shares in the way you do, who is authentic both in struggles and victories, who is willing to have the courage to grow in public. You are incredibly special. I have always found such hope in your words. Our lives look a lot different but from an emotional perspective I often feel like our paths were kind of mirrored. Thank you - truly. For all you’ve done, for all you’ve shared, for your vulnerability and actual authenticity. You’ve really helped me a lot, for years. 💜
And me.❤️❤️❤️❤️ second everything 💕💕
Same here. She was like a big sister i never had as I went through the worst years of my life.
I have always loved her vulnerability and authenticity to share and grow with all of us and that has always given me hope
Kalyn, I want you to know that there’s no way I’ll be ever able to repay you for everything you’ve done for me. I started watching your videos right when you moved to Toronto, and since then it’s you I’ve gone to to look for guidance, for inspiration, and love. I was eighteen then, and now when I’m twenty two I can’t imagine what my life had been if I hadn’t had you. Because you just generate love, you completely glow with it. And everything you do makes me want to become a better person. Whenever I’m scared, or unsure, I rewatch your coffee talks and vlogs, or simply ask myself ”what would Kalyn say/do about this?” I want you to know, that because of you: I started doing yoga, I’ve gone to therapy, I’ve overcome my extreme phobias, I’ve started living for myself and not for anyone else. Because of you: I’m now proud of myself, and I know that you’d be proud of me as well, if you had seen my journey that’s been going on besides your own.
It’s a privilege to watch your journey, and I’m so thankful that the universe brought me to you. You’re the big sister I never had, you’re someone who I feel so deeply connected to that I don’t ever think of you as an ”influencer” or youtuber. You’re my friend. My dear dear dear friend. And I root for you, I get exited when I see you thrive. Because if anyone deserves it - it’s you.
With that being said, thank you for this video, you’re so brave for posting this and being so open with us. I cried half way through it, because I feel so much for you. I love you. I love you.
I love you. I love you.
I love you.
Please know, that I truly truly love you to the moon and back.
Honestly couldn't have said it better, I completely feel the same as you Erica! Thank you so much for allowing us in your life and being a safe place for so many of us! Your one in a million, one of the only youtubers I have always watched and been excited to see content from for over 6 years now! You are a shining light to so many of us
I'm proud of you too❤️
@MelanieLaurence me too. Couldn't have explained it better, Erica, thank you.
I agree. Thank you for sharing your life and for your videos which has become a part of my life. I always look forward to seeing your videos.
You are worthy and we love you. Xoxo❤️❤️❤️
This is the kind of paragraph that makes me tear up in a book- it’s that perfect, it’s that beautiful and it is honestly the most truthful
thank you so much for putting into words what so many of us felt ❤️
This video must have taken so much bravery to film and share. Thank you for your willingness to be vulnerable and for always bringing your light to your online community ❤️ I started watching you back in high school and you were one of the UA-camrs who inspired me to start my own channel. I’m sad to hear how much pain you were in while having to put on a brave face for all of us but I am so glad to know you’re in a better place now. Your future is so bright! ❤️❤️
By sharing this, you'll help someone who is trying to be YOU, be THEM instead. Thank you.
Yess 100%
For sure
chills. love this! xo
Yes! Well said!
you’re the only creator i’ve watched religiously for the last four years. you’re like my internet big sister + watching you grow through the years has been magical. thank you for all your hard work 🤍🏹💫
"I don't feel worthy of all of the support" that broke my heart! I've been around since 2014-2015 and I think I speak for a lot of subscribers when I say that we grew up with you through all of the hard times! You are the only UA-cam I've actively tuned into over the years. We are lucky to have you and this space here ❤
Anyone else feel like a chapter can finally close in their life seeing Kalyn sum up hers so well? Thank you Kalyn for everything you share
Since discovering your channel in 2016 right after I moved into my first apartment all by myself (also being a content creator and staying home alone a lot) you've been a HUGE inspiration to me.. ❤️ Seeing this side of your story is just such a full-circle moment to me since I could relate sooo much when it comes to being one person on camera an trying to deal a bunch of stuff in the offline world and everything business that's going on behind the scenes. I feel like no one can understand all of this until you're in the exact same position. So thank you for understanding me with that video. Just leaving a virtual hug, you are great. ✨
Kalyn, this is me crying.
I just wanted to say that I am very proud of you. I have been here almost since the very beginning and I always felt proud of you, inspired by you and connected to you, you were always a sister and a friend in my eyes instead of an online creator. Listening to your story made me feel even more connected to you and proud of your journey. Sometimes it's hard to realize how much depth someone's life and how many aspects can't be shown online. I haven't known someone deal with so many sh*t and continue to try and inspire others. You are a rare light in this world and I feel so grateful that you chose to share that light with us. I am so happy you ended up rooting and didn't give up and I know better things are coming your way because you deserve everything you got and so much more!! sending you THE BIGGEST hug
I cried so many tears with you throughout the years. I've been here from the very beginning and so excited to see you rooted. A million hugs your way!
me too. I came across Kalyn in 2013 and journey has been magical
I feel like everyone else in the comment section more than perfectly described how I am feeling - I cried so much and as a typically silent viewer, I truly have not thanked you enough for everything you have done over the years. Watching some of those videos brought such nostalgia as I started watching you back around 2014 when I was in high school, you always felt like an older sister to me. You have inspired me so much; I started yoga, therapy, stopped eating meat, and really prioritized my self-healing journey because of you.
I am confident that I would not be the person I am today if it wasn't for you and your videos. Thank you a million times over, I appreciate you and your content so so much more than I could ever describe ❤️
I was so afraid you were going to say this was your final video. I’ve been watching for years, bought all your books, and been so completely inspired by you. You have had a huge impact on me and I can’t wait to see the difference you make in this world as time goes on 💖 I wish you all the best in anything you choose to do!
Kalyn... i just LOVE you.
I can't describe how much you have influenced my life. And i can't think of any words that actually reflect how important you have been in my life. I found your channel when I was like 22, and you are one of the kindest people I know. I thank the universe so much for you and your decision to share your life online. You truly don't know how much of an impact you have in our lives. Your videos and your life had helped me through some hard times, and watching your videos is the absolute highlight of my day.
So thank you for existing, and thank you for keep sharing your life with us. It's a truly honor!!
I am much older than you. I’ve struggled from time to time with the fact that my favorite “UA-camr” is young enough to be my daughter. I’ve come to realize that I relate to your journey. Watching you has helped me deal with the emotions I didn’t know how to deal with at your age. You should be proud of who you are, what you’ve accomplished and this life you have created. You have helped many people whether you know about them or not. What gains followers is authenticity. You have that, don’t ever lose it. Thank you for many years of entertainment, knowledge, and help! ❤️
I'm in the same position (age wise) and I feel exactly the same. She is an amazing and wise young woman.
I just searched your name because I remember watching you since I was around 10 years old, I was still in 5th grade. The night before school I always look at your videos so I can plan my whole style and different hairstyles I would do. Now i’m a senior and just realize how time changes everything!! You are still an inspiration to me and I’m glad you are doing well. :)
this was emotional to watch cause as you were going through the years within your journey, i was thinking of my past years and the versions of myself i was back when i watched those videos. all i can say is i wish i could give you a real life hug kalyn 💛
same here
OMG so looking forward to that video on Koze about starting a business in your 20s because I hope to start one too ✨
Kalyn I started watching your videos in 2015 and I remember thinking you are such a remarkable person that I couldn't wait each week (or day) to watch your newest video. I cried with you when you cried in the videos last year and I felt (and prayed) for you. 🌸
I know you've been through a lot and all I can say is (talking from experience) that our greatest validation comes when we realize how much Jesus loves us and when we know who we are in him. I've also been through things that are almost impossible to overcome, but accepting Jesus and believing and trusting in Him, pulled me through it all. I can't explain the love and peace and contentment you feel when the Holy Spirit lives in you. I had bad depression and anxiety and with His help, I overcame it.
I know a lot of people don't want to believe or have a relationship with Jesus because of bad Christian experiences, and I felt the same, but I focused on me and Jesus alone and how He could change my life. I focused on how I can have a relationship with Him rather than the religion.
I remember that one time feeling like, how you described it in this video, and feeling my anxiety and depression hitting me so hard but then I just fell on my knees and I cried my eyes out while talking to Jesus and the relief and peace I felt as soon as I asked the Holy Spirit to come into my heart.... it's indescribable.
I really really pray and hope that you can be free from all the things that hurt you so much.
All my love❤️
PS. THANK YOU FOR THIS VIDEO❤️
You’re the closest person I’ve ever resonated with on UA-cam and feel like I can really connect to you, even though I don’t technically know you 💕 you can be posting the same videos over and over again and I’ll still show up to watch it 😊 but if you ever need another break, just know you can take it and we’ll all be here
I am ugly crying. I have watched since 2014/2015 and I feel like i’ve 100% grown up with you and our timelines are very parallel. You’ve been such a huge source of inspiration. I can’t thank you enough for your honesty and vulnerability. This seems like a weird concept but I truly do love you! I care about your journey so much and I’m so proud of where you are now.
This video nearly made me ugly cry at work, and if I hadn't been at work, I would have just let those tears fall. I've been watching since 2015, and it has been such a privilege to see your channel and you grow. As someone who's feeling very lost and confused at the moment, especially in regards to the future, this was super super hopeful and inspiring and grounding. Thank you
ok, so first off! YOU ARE WORTHY OF OUR SUPPORT! You literally are my bestfriend, although you don´t know who I am, haha. And accepting a person for who they are is so easy to me, and natural, because we all change like the weather 🤍
It does not mean that I will stop loving and supporting your soul and seeing the kindness that radiates from you!
Your change is beautiful, and your journey is beautiful and the road ahead will also be beautiful!
I find myself resonating with you on such a deep level it´s insane!
I truly believe you are one of my spirit guides, thank you forever! ❤️
I can’t imagine how much courage it took to create this video, but i’m genuinely so grateful to have had the chance to see it. i hope the response is a reflection of what a loving community you have created here. Kalyn, i’ve been watching you for a long time, through so many good and bad times in my life, as well as in yours, and i truly feel like we have grown together. I am not fully there yet, but you have always been such an inspiration for me, probably my main inspiration at some points. The truth is, I spent a long time wishing I was you.. that’s probably hard to read after just discussing that what was on the screen often wasn’t the whole truth, but there was always something drawing me to you, and it wasn’t your happy, bubbly facade. Your spirit has always felt so genuine and comforting for me. Another ugly truth is that during my darker times, your life, your body, your career (on the screen) were things I only dreamed of, but you were always there to remind me to strive to be more like me and find who I am instead of idolize you or other creators. I’m sorry there were times you put everything aside to show up for us, but you have grown into such a strong woman through it all, and i hope i speak for the entire koze community when i say i love you unconditionally. Thank you for sharing your journey. It was fun to look back with you, but it is even better to see you now and who you have become.
Watching this is also like watching a timeline of my life because I’ve been here since 2016 🥺 you’ve inspired many ❤️
Wow... Watching for so many years I really enjoyed this and I know this was extremely hard for you to make. It's weird watching back your memories because I know exactly where I was at when I first watched them both mentally and physically. We have all been on this crazy roller coaster ride and I'm really happy you are sharing these things with us Kalyn. I'm really excited where you ... No we :) .... All go from here 💕
Wow, I just feel like we had a deep heart to heart which led to some tears on this end as well. Even though I've been watching your channel since 2015, I feel like I just lived through your struggles, your small and big moments in a more intimate way. Thank you for being so vulnerable, I can imagine how difficult it just have been. I relate to you so deeply, especially with seeking validation, feeling a sense of not belonging and struggling with self love. Which is precisely why I've not only stuck along for 6 years, but I've also grown with you, because of your content. Your channel has always brought me peace, love and 0 judgement. Please remember this on the days the numbers don't do justice. ❤️
Ps how cute was lil Bentley!?!? 🥺
As somebody who left their job to start their own pottery business in 2020 I can totally understand the loneliness that can be felt. I work all day by myself, my boyfriend lives in Toronto and was in lock down so we were unable to see each other for over 7 months. I felt so disconnected from everybody and everything around me to the point I didn't even really want to do my own pottery work and would put it off until I HAD to do it. I am just starting to pick up the pieces and put myself back together again.
The other day I was telling myself I would really like to know the "behind the life" of my favorites UA-camrs (which you are part of). UA-camrs that inspire me, that live my "dream life" in appearance and basically seem to enjoy their best life.
And this video shows up, and just confirms the fact that we are all humans. And that the online world is just a filter placed on our fucked up stories.
And there you are, being vulnerable and honest about your story. It makes me feel emotional because I don't feel alone anymore.
Behind "Kalyn Nicholson" channel there is a woman who was experiencing similar experiences as mine, and me naive who was just thinking that her life was perfect. But no one's life is perfect.
I first discover your channel in 2018 and I am just amazed by your evolution. Hearing you on this platform or through your podcast is hearing this big sister that I never had. I truly admire you. Not only your career and what you choose to show us on this channel, but also you as a person.
Thank you a lot Kalyn. For opening your truth, but also for all your work.
I send you all my love, and I wish you the best for these coming years. A lot of love, connection and peace.
You are so worthy of our support! We’re all here because we love watching you, love who you’ve become as a person and can’t wait to see you become your best self ❤️ you’re amazing
You’ve been my favourite youtuber for about 5 years now and you’ve never disappointed. I love your energy, your content.. I’ve grown as your content has evolved and I feel like it’s always been exactly what I needed. Thank you for your passion and I’m so excited to see you grow more into the happiest version of yourself
I do not have words on how impactful, meaningful and utterly vital your presence has been on my journey in my twenties. I have religiously watched every single video on the very same day they were published since 2015. Just reading these comments and seeing all these people having the same story as I do makes me really happy. I feel like here in koze we truly have a community of like minded people
"How am I failing right now and people are still cheering me on?"
Because you never failed. We don't have numbers or deadlines or qualifications for you in our heads. (Maybe some folks do, but those folks are not your support network.) We're just happy you're here with us on the journey, and bringing us along on yours.
I only stumbled upon this channel a couple years back. What made your channel my favorite from the start is just your way of portraying everyday life as is, honestly, but still being able to show the beauty. Whenever you show the imperfections of life, I’m reminded why I feel this channel is so perfect. You give me inspiration and motivation without giving me any toxic envy or comparing myself in a negative way. Watching you I just feel inspired. And at the end of the day that’s what I need, and probably what the world needs? You give me so much, and I can’t thank you enough. I always ration out your videos, so that there’s always one available in case of a bad day. I don’t know of any other more genuine youtubers. You inspire me all the way to the moon and back! Forever grateful for what you hand your videos have been able to do for meg. So much love
“Great things are done by a series of small things brought together” sharing some love from small UA-camr 🤍
I'm so happy i found your channel! I love all your content, thank you for sharing your life with us! Thanks for always keeping it real, it's hard to watch other UA-camrs that seem to have it together all time but i love that you show us the lows too!
ah not half way through yet... but im actually crying! I remember finding you on youtube and your videos really helped me be more myself through sooo many insecure years! And learning about your story now, it´s SO sad, but SO beautiful!! gosh! my heart feelss this deeeeeep! ❤️
I’ve been watching you since 2012 consistently. I’m so proud of how far you’ve come and for never giving up even during all of these things. And I’m proud that you’ve remained a role model for not just me but so many others . Happy to say I’ve been around since the beginning ❤️
I gauge my own life by remembering what content of yours I was watching at the time, this was very surreal. Thanks for everything, it means the world
I've been here for YEARS. I've grown alongside you. I've fallen alongside you. And I'll always be here supporting you on your journey
in absolute awe of the resilience and vulnerability you've shown in this video and in many others in the past. been watching you for years and years and I'll seriously be rooting for you from now until forever. there's always light at the end of the tunnel and you've truly been our light on our own darkest days. sending you all the good vibes and so much love, Kalyn!
Kalyn, I started watching your videos in the fall of 2016. We are the same age and both moved into our first apartments, completely alone that year! I found your channel before you moved to Toronto and was very intrigued! Once you moved to Toronto, I was HOOKED on your videos!
I used to watch your videos every single day (at least several times a day) and was so inspired/motivated by you! I changed my routine to something healthier, I started a weekly cleaning routine thanks to your first gyst video, I started meal prepping, when I would normally just eat out!
I even remember journaling about my goals because of one of your coffee talks. It was, ”I want to wake up everyday at 6 am, go for a run and know everyone when I walk in a room”. I wrote those down and they definitely happened! I have so many photos and videos from college with your channel on in the background!
You were such a memorable part of that time in my life and I have kept up with you since! Most importantly, I have prayed for you very much, especially in 2019-2020. I know that when you talked to God in Bali that it was an answer to my prayers. I'm so glad you received the clarity that you needed and that you are in a much better place now. ❤️ love you always!!!
This was so incredibly beautiful and honest and I could really feel your authenticity and truth through the screen. Thank you for sharing so openly and taking the time to dive into your story in this way. You've been an inspiration to me over the years and this video only strengthened my love for you and your creations even more! I can't wait to see where this next phase of your journey takes you. Sending so much love to you always!
I have been here since 2013, I have seen all your videos, and from the bottom of my heart, as a human I have loved to see another human through ups and downs as one does; just been a companion of my own journey (sorry for the grammar, I am from Spain) Thank you for your creation 💛💛
Omg as you’re talking, I realize I’m recognizing almost every clip and realizing I’ve been with you for so long and it makes me so happy 🤍 I was bullied a lot for my UA-cam when I was younger and I stopped making videos for so long. I’m glad you got back into me, it took me longer but I’m getting there :)
I normally never comment on videos, but I’ve been watching you since I was around 16 and I’m 21 now. I went through a lot in high school and early college and your videos and this space you created online was my rock through it all. I truly don’t know what I would’ve done without it, and who I would be now if it weren’t for you. It’s hard to know how much pain you went through in the times where your videos were so happy. I have always been kind of a lone wolf too, and especially in college that has been painful. Hearing about your loneliness when you were my age now helps me not feel so isolated in what I’m going through. You have truly been like an older sister to me and have helped me out of so many dark times in my life. I hope the next chapters for you bring you joy, love, and happiness. Thank you for always being there for me and so many for all these years.
Thank you for being so candid and open with us - all the love and best wishes to you Kalyn
I have watched your channel since I was a lonely little middle schooler sitting on my bed in my parents' house. Last year I graduated college, had a baby, and am getting married next year after I start my career. Thank you for always being there for me regardless of what you had going on in your life. From the Fall Hauls to the LA vlogs, I have been around for it all and I cannot thank you enough for getting me through.
Your vulnerability is incredible and inspiring! Also the peep at Baby Bentley 😍 But honestly your honesty is so refreshing and your strength is incredible. (I also was OBSESSED with the game play videos).
Wow!!!! I used to watch your videos back in the mid 2010's because I loved your beautiful editing and your creativity was so inspiring. I was one of the folks that phased out as I started growing on my own spiritual journey. I came back now because I'm reinvesting in my UA-cam channel and I was looking for editing inspo and I thought, "I should see what Kalyn's up to!" I am so overjoyed to see that what you've been up to is healing your trauma and showing up in a deeply authentic way online. My own experience has also reminded me that when I show up as my real self, that's actually when I receive the most love because that's when I'm showing MYSELF the most love. I also really appreciate that you're reaffirming that no matter HOW MUCH people look like they've got their life together online, they could truly be going THROUGH IT. I'm so happy and proud of you for your growth and your continued journey. It's beautiful to witness. ❤️
You are the most badass, inspirational and kindest queen I know. I discovered your channel 5 years ago in summer 2016 around the time you reached 1 million subscribers and from then on I am still proud to be one of your subscribers, you are still my all time favourite UA-camr. I had a hard time in the first half of 2016 but seeing your videos inspired me to be strong. Youtober is my fav series on your channel as it's on the exact same month of my Birthday, your drawing your life video is also beautiful knowing me I just love to draw. I especially loved your 2018 and 2019 videos, those were some of the best years of my life and your videos helped get me through 2020 the worst year of my life. I'm so happy 2021 has brought you so much joy and I'm always thankful for you. Love you to the moon and back✨!
Your videos were always a big inspiration to my life. I really missed those days 18:39 when quarantine wasn't a thing. You shouldn't feel lonely at all, you're still young and pretty. Enjoy your life as much as you can. There are plenty of stuff one can do to socialize and communicate with the world. You can sign up in charities and communities for helping people and it will bring you so much joy in your life. be safe xo xo
48 MINUTES? WE'RE BLESSED!! THANK YOU
Been here since youtube 2017 and I will never leave you! You are my favorite parasocial relationship that I have and the only one that I keep up and watch every video from. I know it’s embellishment to say I love you because you know that I don’t know you, but I love the you that you show up as here for us! Congratulations on making it through some difficult parts of your life so far, you’re doing so good! All the work you put into your growth and development is totally worth it!
It will always saddens my heart that we're not encountered in real life. Whenever I try to write you something I always end up just wishing you all the best.
I truly hope you would be happy and at peace. You're such a pure lovely soul and I just love you ♥♥
Kalyn, you have been my internet big sister for 4 years. You are such a kind-hearted person. It is very clear to anyone who has been watching your videos. I know from a practical standpoint you still need as many subscribers as possible in order to get a paycheck at the end of the month, but honestly the more you create for the sake of creating something you love the more profound your content gets. I have loved your videos from the first time I've seen them, but what has made me stick throughout the years (and you are the only youtuber I've watched for this long) is trully your authenticity, your philosophic mind and your kindness. Yes, perhaps a 40 minute coffee talk isn't mainstream and many viewers won't listen to the entirety of it, but it is special. You're creating something special and different and that is the kind of beauty that is worth fighting for in life. Thank you so much for going against the crowd, for being different and authentic to yourself. This little crew of outsiders loves you Kalyn, so always take care of yourself first, let the pot get out of the steam from time to time, we will always be here when you get back
The importance of remembering that showing a happy face online while imploding is just 💯💯
It's unhealthy
I soooo appreciate this video. I used to idolize your life back in 2017 when I was a stressed-out college student, who was juggling with friend drama, body image issues, and a family torn apart by divorce + an abusive mother. I wished back then I could be as organized and perky as you were and knowing that you were also going through something makes you and my perception of ideal feel so much more organic. Your strength, drive, and your passion for what you do is amazing and this just really shows that we've all got a journey to get through. I'm so happy you've come so far in your healing.
This was an incredible video! I started watching you in 2016 during one of the hardest times of my life. I became a huge fan during YouTober 2017 when I just started my PhD program, but was simultaneously going through an almost unmanageable depression. It was amazing to follow this journey with you and remember how the different content you put out was affecting me at different moments. I also remember seeing you struggle and worrying about you. I remember critical comments and feeling angry on your behalf because of all you were giving and it never seeming to be enough. Your life has always looked so beautiful and fascinating (I credit your incredible aesthetic eye and editing skill) that it was hard to imagine it not actually being perfect. But this video you filled in so many gaps and shared so vulnerably that I’m absolutely in awe of how survived! Just the constant stress level of your job on top of all the personal shit - you really are an incredibly strong person! You have so much to be proud of! I also had the thought that the reason your audience was so loving and supportive last October was because of the community YOU cultivated by being so open and vulnerable in all your 2020 videos. I cannot fathom how or why you have lost any subscribers, but all I can say is that those who are here are here for the right reasons. I just admire you so thoroughly.
Also, I love that you said you don’t want to influence people, you want to help them. Your goals for focusing on more global/political stuff is really admirable. I can’t wait to follow your content along the way! Something that would be seriously cool would be to pull from the expertise of your followers to start exploring some of those issues. Anyway, this is the most rambling and ridiculous comment, so I’m sorry for not making better sense. All in all, I just want to thank you for another fantastic video and for such a beautiful careers, thus far. You’ve helped more than you know!
Oh Kalyn, I just want to reach out and give you a big hug. I’ve commented here and there but this time felt I really really needed to. I’m a grown ass adult. (Like really grown as in 63 years old.). I started watching UA-cam as an escape, for motivation, for inspiration, and came across your channel almost 10 years ago. I thought who is this gutsy young lady who’s putting it all out there, so bubbly and so authentic?? I’ve told you before that I’m a therapist and would try and make suggestions to you that would help your anxiety. I hope they did. I had no idea how difficult 2014 was for you. It was awful for me as well; my mother dying, a near miss with a heart attack, a daughter going through a horrible divorce and sinking deeply into alcoholism, a flood in my house... whew. And then there were millennials like you aging so bright, can paving the way for a new generation and wow how cool has that been to watch! Such an inspiration (even for an old gal like me 😘). I want to wish you the very best of luck in whatever you do in your future. You deserve it honey and don’t anymore tell you otherwise. Maybe one of these days I’ll find the nerve to sign up for your yoga class!
I've been following you since I believe it was 2014-2015. I always liked your energy, your vibe, your style ...and girl how can I forget you organization skills! You inspire me and motivate me so I've been always coming back to your channel when I need some pick me up and get my shit together! Lol because your stellar organization and hard work I thought you have dominant capricorn or virgo in your natal chart 😀 anyways just so you know you also have older followers, I'm almost 40!
Please keep doing what you doing, love your content and I appreciate you so much ❤
i am so at peace when i watch your videos. please do not question whether you will be supported or not. so many of us LOVE you.
So it’s the first day of cancer season and I am FEELING it, and literally sobbed for hours tonight over a numberrr of things I’ve been holding in for ages, and damn. Watching this video just felt like divine timing. I found your channel in youtober of 2016, and I’ve watched you go through so much and GROW so much, and as a very intuitive empath I just felt while watching those old videos the low points and everything you were going through, and it was just such an experience watching you talk about all of it in this video. You and your channel have been there for me through so much, time and time again. I will forever and always be grateful to you for that, and forever happy I found your channel in the first place. I love you to the moon and back, Kalyn! I can’t wait to see how you continue to grow from here💛✨
Been here since 2014 and all I have to say is I absolutely loved you through everything and YOU saved me as a teenage girl, you were my escape and I grew to become this version of myself that I adore. I live alone. I'm financially independant. I try to stick to routines and stay organized. You taught me more than anyone ever could❤️
I didn’t think I’d get so emotional watching this video but I realized I’ve been watching you since 2014. I was 19/20 and in college and really struggling. Your videos were the calm in the storm. I can’t imagine how hard this video must have been to film and share but thank you for sharing it. It’s amazing to feel less alone in the world, when you feel like you’re the only one struggling. Can’t wait to see what’s to come.
I don't comment often, but you're my favorite content creator and I remember so looking forward to your Youtober series every year and also thinking omg how does she film and edit all of this for us without going crazy? I'm sorry for all the pressure of life on you. I can relate to you a lot, being introverted, seeking perfection and looking for a physical location on earth to call home. Whenever I see you've uploaded I get so excited. Thank you for being honest, and sharing your life and always working so hard, but also for taking care of yourself now, Kalyn. We'll be here
I've been a lurker since the dark hair and the big chop phase, and watching you grow and change has been an insperation to do the same. I look to your videos when I want to know theres someone out there with the kind soul I want to cultivate mine into as well. I want to thank you for making the content you do, and tell you that I hope this community continues to give back to you, as you have sacrificed far too much for us. Thank you for being authentic, for being kind and giving. You're truly amazing
I have been following you since 2017, that year was a very dark year I went homeless with my husband I was depressed very suicidal everything was going wrong and I've came across one of your videos and I started watching them and I would watch him all the time that you posted it was a religious thing for me. You have saved me literally since 2017 I've had my ups and downs but everytime I'm sad or depressed my husband tells me to listen to one of your old podcast videos or watch one of your videos and it snaps me back. I enjoy both channels I enjoy everything that you do you have grown so much and I know that I can learn so much more from you. You really got me curious about yoga so when you do your yoga I sit there and I studying it and I want to learn about it and the health factors. I am a wife of six years with four cats in a two-bedroom apartment fighting anxiety and depression everyday and because of you I have a reason to wake up and learn and I want to travel in the tiny house LOL so thank you so very much for everything
This video needs a warning how much it'll make you cry 🥺. So proud of you girl 💙
I've seen you grow and become a different person on here, but now I realise that you've always been YOU and you embrace your true self everyday. No fake vibes here, only pure energy and so much love. That's why I'm still excited every time you upload. Not only on YT, like everywhere. Because what you said about the UA-cam girls you felt like were your friends... It feels like you've been my close friend for all these years and that friendship only became stronger. Shine bright, Kalyn and never stop underestimating yourself because we fucking love your videos and we fucking love YOU.
I'm not sure how many years I have followed you, but it has been a good while, and not once did I ever think to unfollow. Even with extended periods of no videos. I always knew "If she can't it's for a reason". I DEEPLY WISH you understood the aid your videos have given me. Not the perfect aesthetic ones (which are fire) but when you would speak about your depression or admit things that just made you seem so human. I felt like I wasn't alone. The love you get online is 100% deserved. I hate to sound corny but you have literally changed my life in the best way possible and I just wanted to thank you, so thank you Kalyn :) I also have to admit to totally crying with you during this video. I feel like I just went through something major like an intense book or something lol.
I doubt this comment will be seen, but I’ve been around since 2015 and the growth in your mental health and vulnerability has been amazing. As much as I loved the aesthetics you created, seeing YOU is more important. We’re all human and we all love you for you 💕
Crying and so moved by this video, you deserve all the support and I hope you let yourself feel this love!! So excited for the next chapter and can’t wait to join the full koze community when i can afford it!!! Sending so much love♥️♥️♥️
I've been watching your videos since early high school and now I'm 23 and feel like you're my big sister
Over the years I remember the shit in my life I was going through and I would watch your content to sometimes just get through. Thank you for sharing your pain, it takes an immense amount of courage to put it out there. The Koze Crew is here for you no matter what capacity you need to show up in, at any chapter in your life 🤍 sending you all the healing vibes and I can’t wait to see where your life takes you! We’ll be here growing alongside you :)
Also watching your Until Dawn series was weirdly some of my favorite content you’ve done in recent months, I’d save it to watch after grueling shifts at work and it was so oddly comforting, like I was just hanging out in the living room with a friend
Thank you for being so open and honest! It’s funny how I found you right in the midst of one of my lowest points as well. And I really felt connected to you for all the reasons you just explained but it really just felt like a connection between two people going through something emotional and unspoken. You don’t have to explain yourself but thank you for being so open because it DOES make me feel less alone. You’re a beautiful soul and I’ve been so thankful to be a part of your journey and have you be a part of mine. SO much love from Wisconsin🥰
Cannot tell you how many times I actually paused and cried with you in this video🥺 Must've taken so much courage to open up and speak about such difficult phases. But just know this Kalyn, when you see those number of unfollows, please also see the one odd million of us who have stuck around. Just because we genuinely love your content. Even if its just you hanging out with us over coffee or crying your eyes out, your audience that loves you is always gonna be here by your side! Lots of love!
I've been here since 2015, and I really don't know what I would have done without you! Thank you for being you. Sending love and light ✨🤍
Why am I crying right now? lol. Sending you so much love. Been here for quite a few years and I will definitely stay. You inspire me every single day by just being exactly who you are. Times get very rough sometimes but I hope you continue to feel the love and support we have for you.
I have watched you since my mom passed away in 2017. You have helped me in so many ways since then. I can’t ever see myself not watching your content because it has since been such a breath a of fresh air for me. YOU have always been such an inspiration to me. I’ve always appreciated videos where you review old stuff and just seeing your personal growth and your transparency through the whole thing is such a blessing. Thank you so much for all you’ve done for me.
I love you and you’re enough. Never change. That it. That’s my comment.
i’ve apparently been here for 4 years?? thank you for sharing this wild journey with us- both in summary and in longevity. i’ve always vibed with you in both your ups and downs- it’s been so nice to hang with you through your videos and not feel as isolated. also, it seems like your soul is a bit more content nowadays, i’m so happy for you! you deserve it! ✨
Sooo, I am going to be super duper honest right now, because this video unlocked something in me. I’ve been following you since 2016, and as you mentioned, your channel was such an aesthetic. And I watched every single video I could find from you. Up until 2019, then something happened and then suddenly wasn’t always into every single video you made. And now it dawned on me… I was just being confronted with my own struggle with how I see myself. And seeing you work on your mental health just made me so uncomfortable. And I hate saying this, but this video made me realize it, how unhappy you were but still kept the mask on. And you working on that was just such a trigger and I did not even realize it. But since last year I’ve been seeing a therapist as well, working on my issues and now I connect way better with your content again, just because I fee good about myself and don’t need to follow these “perfect” people to feel better or something. This probably sounds super vague, and again it’s not that I want to sound negative or anything, I just want to say that seeing you evolve and listening to you story made me realize how much steps forward I’ve taken as well. And how nice it is to grow along with someone you actually don’t know, but still fee very connected to! I hope I made a bit of sense, but I want to thank you Kalyn for this video, for this channel, for you being you 💜✨ you are amazing! Lots of love 💜
I was so scared throughout this vlog. So many of the youtubers I watched throughout my early adulthood have left and I was dreading that this video was ending the same way. I am one of those followers who fell off for awhile but UA-cam has been something I’ve fallen back in love with over the past 6 months and I can honestly say the algorithm knows to put your videos front and center in my list. It’s been a privilege to grow up with you. I’m slightly older but your house purchase was around the same time as mine. When you first moved out was when I was moving into my first apartment alone as well. It’s truly been cathartic to click into your videos and watch someone who I weirdly consider a friend even though we’ve never truly met. You’ve done a great job cultivating this space even through your life trials. Thank you for sharing and being so vulnerable with all of us. It means so much to me. 🖤
How on earth is it possible that the girl at 0:35 and Kalyn are the same person?? They look absolutely nothing alike!!!
She looked younger and healthier back then. Also her face didn't look so long.
I had never realized how much our lives intertwined. My parents also were in the middle of a split between 2016/2017 and that’s when I decided to move to Alaska. I’m feeling like I’m going through a wrap up of my own life ☺️
I started watching your videos around 2017 - when I was in high school. Your videos brought me a sense of stability that I didn't have in my own life. At one point, I would watch your videos to calm down and breathe because I felt (and still feel) trapped. When you discussed the point in your life where you were grasping for a sense of control - I resonated with that. It's easy to white-knuckle anything that makes it seem like, externally, we have everything under control. I am so happy that you are recovering and finding not just stability but a sense of softness in your craft. You're the only UA-cam creator where I've stopped and wondered how they were actually feeling, and I'm excited to see how your channel/personal life grow from here, Kalyn. I also applaud your vulnerability, I know that took a lot of bravery and planning.
I found your channel in 2012 when I was 13 during a very difficult time in my life. I’ve been an avid watcher since, your channel is literally my favorite out of anyone! Your videos and podcasts always lift me up when I need it the most. Thank you for being so vulnerable with us
Been here since 2015. Funny how you never know what someone is struggling with on the inside when everything seems ok on the outside. Sending so much love and positivity your way. ❤️
Kalyn your videos have truly changed my life for the better. I have gone through phases of my life - some of my darkest times - and your words (specifically your coffee talks) have pulled me through.
As far as why I've stuck around, it's all you... the you deep inside, the beautiful and compassionate soul that shines out when you speak, no matter what you yourself are going through at the time. I grew up feeling like an outcast, too... definite awkward phase, teasing/bullying, never feeling "pretty enough" or "popular." If I'm being honest, it wasn't your perfectly curated life that drew me in... in fact, somebody as stunning as you with the perfect, Instagramable-looking life you've presented would ordinarily set off my alarm bells of insecurity and send me running in the other direction. I don't watch ANY other content that looks like yours or has your relatively polished aesthetic because it rarely feels authentic... but I've been watching for several years now because - whether you know it or believe it or not - you are overflowing with so much wisdom that I genuinely believe the Universe sent you to help others. (You're kind of my guru, ngl.)
I don't watch EVERY video, but every video I do watch causes something to shift in me, just a little bit. It is not an exaggeration to say that you (and the books you recommend, please do more reading recommendations!) have saved my life.
Thank you for all the love and beauty and wisdom you've contributed to the world, even when you yourself were going through some pretty dark times. We all love and appreciate you. ❤
Dear Kalyn,
Thank you so much for taking courage to share your UA-cam story. I can only try to imagine what it takes to open up and share all the ups and downs down the road. Please know that you have one more member in your community who has been more than grateful to find you and your channel to add a bit of inspiration, older sister talks, time with a best friend and deep dive talks in her daily life. I am looking forward to your videos as it has become my weekend's routine with slow breakfast, cup of coffee (or several cups :-)) to take time for myself and nourish my mind with conversations with you.
Thank you for keep going, thank you for your openness and thank you for being you!
One of the best honest videos I’ve seen on UA-cam by a creator. Thank you for taking your time opening up to us and seeing your journey. Those who are loyal to you will know your struggles and understand when there is no vlog you are a human too and need you time. For the days you do post I want to say I’m so grateful that you do 🙏🏻you are so inspirational with your simplicity and your empathy towards us allx
Girl. I am tearing up. I’ve been here since 2016 and I remember I saw a video from you on my homepage on UA-cam and I was like “that girl seems so nice and creative, I’mma check her out”, I subscribed to your channel and never left! Never skipped a video as well. I must say that you have grown soooo much and I am so proud of you. You’re like the sister I never had. Thank you so much for opening up to all of us. You are truly so inspiring. ❤️
I started watching you in 2016. I was only 14 at the time, but your videos made me feel like I had a big sister looking out for me in ways I didn't know I needed. I've struggled with my parents, from divorce to life choices to basic ideals. Your guidance gave me the strength to be a role model for my younger sister (which ended up being really important, now that she's in the double digits!) and to take care of myself. I would swear to myself that one day, I would create authentically like you did. And now I do. I just turned 19, so I'm about the age where you started. Knowing your story helps me be excited for mine. Thank you for being the best big sister, mother-of-cups energy I could have asked for. Thank you for the KOZE crew and for shining your light. Hope to visit Toronto one day. 💛
I discovered Kalyn by looking up a how to save money video in 2017 and her video popped up. I fell in love with her and her channel. It’s so amazing how her content and life makes me feel. Thank you Kalyn for always being real and humble and kind. I will forever grow and watch you’re videos. You show such strength and make this crazy world much kinder and cozy!!So happy to be apart of this journey with you through all the good bad and ugly. ❤️
Thank you for giving me hope, happiness and joy with you’re videos.
I can't believe I've been around since early 2014 and I didnt notice anything was really wrong until early 2019
I went through a horrible breakup at the end of 2014 and had to leave everything I built and come back home. I was broken but somehow I found your channel very soon after and just felt an instant connection to you. You helped me pull myself back up and focus on myself to be the person I wanted to be. I have continued to follow you and love your videos. You are such a genuine and caring person and you have gotten me through so much in my life. Even now that I’m married with a beautiful little boy (and a baby girl due in November) I look forward to sitting down and watching your videos and just spending a little time together. Thank you for always being open and honest and so encouraging to anything we could be going through. 💜💜💜
This was so helpful for me! I guess what happens is that when you grow up in a "difficult" family environment, where there is no emotional support, you tend to look for it in other places. friends are not just friends they become family. Boyfriends are not just bfs they are a forever person. and when those break down, it hurts TO YOUR CORE. I've been struggling for years too and it has had a huge impact on my mental health. I understand now why. So, thank you. FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART.
Growth that comes with time, with experience makes a person more graceful and calm. We are all struggling and slowly becoming better too. Keep going guys, we got this.
Kalyn, I admire how vulnerable that was. I love you as a person. Thank you for being here, you’re really appreciated! Thank you!!