Years later I decided to try this. I went around kissing dudes with these exact tips, and now they won’t leave me alone. You’d think as a woman this would be a good thing, but as I am a straight man you’d be wrong. This was just a goofy test I was doing but now it’s gone too far. There’s 17 grown men on my house steps beating more door in. They’ve been going for days. Idk what I’ve done, but they’re gonna get in soon. This may be my last message. Wish me luck, boys
This is just the adult equivalent of when I was a kid and typed "mermaid spells" into youtube thinking that this one action would solve my entire life's problem
My boyfriend isn’t that good of a kisser. I’ve never been like ‘damn I need to break up with this awesome guy who shares my sense of humor and worldview, is smart and educated, and is extremely secure, because his lip game is not on point.’ Once you’ve been dating for a minute, you kiss like once a month. If this is the key factor in your relationships I guarantee that’s not gonna work out.
Also, you can really easily give a partner pointers on how to kiss you how you like. Most partners will do it because they know you’ll like it, it’s not rocket science Michael!
"WARNING: ONLY use this kiss when you have the time and space to be properly RAVISHED by your man..." Dear God. That may possibly be the single funniest sentence I have ever read.
Yeah and all of his tips SUCK. There is only ONE way to win a man over by kissing him. The big secret is, don't kiss him on the mouth kiss him on his *censored*
I’ve been with my husband for 13 years & we care for each other deeply. If he came home from work and I tried to tongue kiss him he’d think there was a killer in the house and I was trying to silently warn him.
I love that the little video about the woman “losing” her lover is missing the point. If your significant other is late for a fight he’s not going to be like, “yes the time for a romantic kiss” he’s going to be stressed because he’s late for a flight. You’ll kiss later but right now possibly a thousand dollars and possibly his job is on the line so...cut the man some slack.
He is Seth's older, less attractive and popular brother who has no talent in music and is convinced that he has a talent in marketing, which is also not true. Seth's parents have his pictures upstairs in a drawer while Seth is staring at guests from a hundred portraits on the wall. All four walls, in fact. Their parents pretend to have only one son. No wonder this guy sells both kissing advice and self-praise in same quantities
Jesus Christ! You cracked it! I was wondering what my marriage was missing and I realize now, it was a Katana. You've saved my marriage and you've also helped me start a new career as a body guard. I've never felt more badass. Thank you. But like... is there a specific way I should kiss my Katana so it doesn't leave me?
That's marketing. Seriously half of marketing is designed to prey on your insecurities, the other half is to make you want shit you didnt know you wanted. Arguably the easier one is preying on insecurities. Why do you think the diamond industry pushes jewelry as the ultimate sign of love for example?
9:32 does dude really say "it sends an *unconscious* message"? Cause that sounds like tips for Bill Cosby. Unless he meant subconscious, which is something completely different....
These types of ads are so incredibly condescending to women. I saw one that started by saying how miserable women are without a man and how they spend Friday evenings crying with a tub of ice cream. And this was aimed at women! I think it was supposed to be relatable xD Anyway that's when I closed the tab because I couldn't take it anymore. Eddy did a real sacrifice here.
@Tara Lang Congrats on being strong women who can handle themselfs. But in all honesty, wouldnt you want to be held while falling asleep everynight? Not Need, but want. I know thats what i miss most from relationships. as aman
@Tara Lang That is to me as true as it is untrue. If you decide too love Anyone it will most likely not be "The Relationship", But it might very well still be the one relationship. If not you have hopefully gained some experience about yourself and others. So i can get behind that strategy, but there if deffenitely a point to be made about "not looking and finding". I think it is becouse you will naturally end up around people that likes the same things as you and will therefor find a partner that fits better. They both work and both have Great possetives and Great negatives. Also a note on cuddeling. It's the fact that the person trusts you completely to chose to be beside and in contact with you in a time when we just need to be safe to fall asleep. I guess it's just an ego thing.
There are similar ads of similar... "programs" directed at men, with very similar techniques in how they advertise it (bring up the promise of a secret, create this narrative, have the ad be super long so they feel like they're already engaged, high ball a "real" cost for the thing while actual cost is something like 30 bucks which in comparison seems low). The interesting bit is where they differ. The ones directed at men are focused on sex, almost entirely. They also have a much stronger focus on "mind control". A lot of them are about how you can completely control women with this one secret technique.
The way this guy writes from the perspective of a woman reads like some weird erotica like "Cassidy was just a simple housewife when she got these tips and now she's a TIGRESS. just an absolute MONSTER in the bedroom."
She also owns 20 Maseratis, 12 houses and a hotel for herself and her second grandmother with Aspergers. She got all this and more ALL from selling these essential oils! Follow my Face- woah, wait wrong script.
Eddy, I tried the 'Primal Passion Kiss' on my man and he became unintelligible and started carrying around a club and wearing this weird tattered toga with a tiger pattern...I don't even know where he got them, I suspect he used Amazon to order a Fred Flintstone costume...What do I do? I thought it would improve our relationship, but now all he wants to do is ride around in his golf cart and go out dinosaur hunting with the boys...I don't think he actually knows much about the stone age.
fan theory: "Eddy bought this video instantly. He knew immediately that one of two things would happen. He would either learn the secret to FORCING Gus to love him back, or he would have one dope ass video." Sorry you didn't get the guy, Eddy.. but the video is great!
In slavic cultures, people do kiss family on the lips, no matter the age 🙃 (but uhm... not with tongue or anything, before someone thinks something weird)
?? I've stopped guys from kissing me weirdly and been like hey that's too much tongue. Or I'll ask them hey it feels like you're pulling away lately, can we talk about it? Like guys just be forthright without attacking the person and you're good. Don't buy RachelRayMichaels ridiculous program.
@@Zimzamzoom95 idk why but maybe it's all these posts on social media from pseudo-influencers saying things like "He/She should know what you want before you even say it" or "We dont even need to say it, we say I love you with our eyes." And stupid shit like that. Maybe not, but it's still silly.
And here I thought it was because I constantly brought him down, he thinks I'm about to fight him when he comes home, everytime I see him I tell him how much I wish I'd said yes to another man.... But I'll just add a lil more tongue 😂😂😂😂also this is THICK sarcasm I don't abuse my man lmao
I could actually use these tips on my boyfriend... so that every time we touch, I get this feeling. and every time we kiss, I swear I could fly. can’t you feel my heart beat fast. I want this to last. need you by my side
I can't get the image of Michael kicking his feet up on the bed like a schoolgirl while writing his erotic fan-fiction out of my head. Also, can't help but wonder how many happy relationships he's actually had...
Honestly Eddy gives the advice every person needs to hear, and it's free 8:26 "Brian could you pay any attention to me at all, because it seems like you're not even trying And then if he says no? Leave him! Don't take a $500 an hour class with this dude to learn how you can win Brian back. *The fuck has Brian ever done for you?"*
I got this ad a while back when I was in a very dark and vulnerable place and I almost fell for it (don’t judge too harshly, please), THIS is exactly the video I’ve been looking for back then. I hope lots of people who get targeted by this creepy and condescending ad find your video!
You guys shouldnt feel self conscious about falling for the ad. That's what he does. He crawls down into people's depression pits with girls who just want to be loved and find someone and then acts like he has a ladder out of the pit. It's very tempting to try to pay for the ladder. But the true power comes from crawling out of the pit yourself. Proud of you guys.
That's what makes it so disgusting. It's clearly predatory and targets people who are either very desperate or just in a vulnerable, low place in their life currently. And then he exploits them for all their money. Fitness gurus pull the same garbage. They all act like there's secrets or shortcuts to this stuff too, when there just isn't. The answer to your problems is almost always right in front of your face, and it's usually the thing you've been avoiding because of some larger truth or commitment it entails. This goes for anything really. But if you're low enough or desperate enough you believe there must be something you're missing, and that's how they get you. But once you're on the other side of that, and you can think more clearly, it's just insane to see how many people pretend they know way more than they do, and they really only hold a basic understanding of how something works, and in this guys case I would say he's even below the line on that. And he's claiming to be an expert, and is shameless about the lack of proof or credentials. Like he doesn't even have any pictures of him with women and no ones ever come forward claiming they've been in a relationship with him or tried to defend him at all. And tbh I doubt he's ever even experienced real love for himself.
One real kissing tip from my mother and her 50-year marriage to my father: occasionally, when they're talking, she'll take his hand and kiss the back of it while looking up at him lovingly. They'll then hold hands for the rest of the conversation, with him looking shy but pleased. I think it just goes to show that men like to feel cherished, too, and finding tender gestures that your male partner appreciates is important.
All these names for the kisses sound like abilities you'd find in some shitty RPG, like the "Mirror Universe Kiss" sounds like the ultimate move you'd use against the final boss
Kissing is literally the only thing that goes into a relationship. Call me old fashioned, but I have to be married to a girl for at least 3 years before I can kiss them
Holy shit, this is making kissing sound like a superpower. Kiss someone, and communicate years worth of information, understand their wants and needs implicitly, and have control of them to bend them to your whims...
I'm gonna wreck one of this man's points: dogs dont lick out of affection or love. Dogs lick for several reasons: 1: they like the salt in your sweat. Even if you dont feel sweaty dogs can taste the salt in your skin. 2: licking releases endorphins in their brain. So if your dog is stressed or scared they will lick to try and calm themselves. That may be you, themselves, or even just the ground. C: dogs lick the faces and mouths of the person/dog/animal they feel is in charge. It's a form of submission. Of my 4 dogs, our oldest is the "alpha dog" of the four. All 3 of the other dogs lick his mouth and face to show that they respect his position and know they are below him. 4: attention. When your dog "kisses" you, you often get excited or at least pet them. Therefore you have trained your dog that licking=attention.
10:29 I just had a horrifying realization that this class sounds like Michael "teaches them kissing" by making out with them. He's like the tennis instructor that sleeps with rich men's lonely wives. 🤣
Are you telling me that sticking my tongue out like a lizard and flapping my arms like a chicken isn’t what men want in a passionate kiss? Also, I’m pretty sure the “mouth-to-mouth” method is just CPR, Michael.
Honestly we wouldn't have to deal with all these Self-Help Gurus and guys making shitty relationship POV tiktoks if guys just let themselves write fanfic. That's clearly what all of them want to do, but they're not letting themselves. It's so sad.
The most disgusting thing about this "class" is the combination of how it targets at young, insecure girls by specifically making them think "You're the one who's doing something wrong", and how everything is worded so specifically to manipulate these young, vulnerable, insecure, younger girls that they're clearly targeting. It's so gross to me how we constantly see predatory "I'll teach you the secret" setups like this where the commercial is basically someone saying "YOU'RE wrong, it's YOUR fault, YOU need to be better and different because YOU are the failure (pay me to teach you,)" instead of the more obvious conclusion that nobody would pay to hear: _you really need to expose yourself to more different types of people and stop going after the same dysfunctional/incompatible person every time_ ."
Dudeeee please do a review on those psychic commercials I get them all the time it’s like “thanks to psychic Donna, now I know that my husband was cheating on me” and shit like that
@@christopherminutolo9384 A katana is probably too large for that--surgery, I mean: if you just want the heart and don't care about the other bits, though, it should do nicely enough.
OK, I cannot possibly be the only one who would have wished for that dude's picture to rotate so badly. 13:00. It would have added such a nice touch to those creepy eyes staring into the remains of your soul.
I remember when I was like 13, I used to look up stuff like "How to get a girl to like you?" or "How to get my crush to like me?" Luckily, I realized that I was just not in the mental space to be in any sort of relationship and avoided becoming a sad desperate man like Michael. But I found the secret technique! All you have to do is.... Pay me $50,000 each minute of a one hour class and I'll tell you. Also Sky High is a fucking banger of a movie and there's nothing wrong with you if you like it.
hey guys i didn't die! for more of me not dying, follow me on twitter and instagram @eddyburback
@@KO-nb5zv ill support him regardless
Thank you king
welcome back!
please never leave me again
How can our cult leader leave us for so long!? I know you had the podcast yesterday with Gus but i was frightened for your safety mr. Daddy Burback
This guy is just a wattpad fanfiction writer that charges people to read
The whole "forcing someone to love you" thing sure falls in line with Wattpad's weird kidnapping erotica
Nah, he makes Wattpad look like Tolstoy.
I hate when that happens I mean if it’s good I’ll support but not everyone has dat cash.
@@opticalyoutube5597 i miss the old days when wattpad didnt have those. them was the good days
Like the authors of After and 50 shades ?
I Paid For Eddy’s Kissing Class (Review)
NakeyJakey it’s a shame Eddy won’t apply the class to good use.
Get on that yoga ball kiddo and make that vid
Where you at my guy?
Spoiler alert, he just talks about his knees for an hour
yo can i get that link
Years later I decided to try this. I went around kissing dudes with these exact tips, and now they won’t leave me alone. You’d think as a woman this would be a good thing, but as I am a straight man you’d be wrong. This was just a goofy test I was doing but now it’s gone too far. There’s 17 grown men on my house steps beating more door in. They’ve been going for days. Idk what I’ve done, but they’re gonna get in soon. This may be my last message. Wish me luck, boys
he died
Rest in peace, Shmeat.
RIP Shmeat he died as he lived. overrun with men
RIP you went out with a bang
"A kiss is a conversation."
Okay, but what if we... and hear me out on this... actually talked.
for real!!!! preach
That some crazy ideas you have here
why would you even consider that. Don't tell your husband not to cheat, kiss him and melt, obviously
WTF?!?! I am going to assume you're single. No one with a partner would say this dumb shit
Ayoo!! Thats a little controversial, better slow down there bud
I adore that you just saw this ad and thought to yourself:
*“content.”*
2k likes but no replies ook
We stan a Cult leader that can find a spark of creativity in any dumb usless thing.
You look so cool, that's it that's all i wanted to say
@@bluemoon32299 yes
@@bluemoon32299 commenting this thirst a two year old comment. SIMP
"Think of it as a kiss women used to give sailors before they left..."
You know, those famously monogamous sailors.
Hahahahahaha, exactly
does it count as monogamy if you sleep with your boys cuz you miss your wife?
@@lerrygindgren2076 as long as you don't kiss on the lips I think you're fine
Lerry Gindgren boys support boys
@@lerrygindgren2076 gotta be there for your homies 😔✊❤️
I feel like “primal passion kiss” sounds like a mortal kombat special....
Pretty sure there's something like that yeah lmfao
*laughs in hunter x hunter where there is a girl with manipulation nen who makes boys her slaves with a kiss*
THATS EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING it sounds like some sort of special anime move LMAO
Hahahahahahah great comment
"Kitana Wins! FATALITY!"
Michael's advice: "You're nothing to him unless you're a constant wellspring of validation to his broken machismo and fragile ego."
But you can show all of that with these simple techniques for a great kiss! 😂
Haha pretty mich
Fr tho that bit about the kiss saying "you're powerful and have earned me" that's literally just male validation.
"He pulls away without even telling you why"
IT'S CALLED *BREATHING* MICHAEL
“Why did you pull away?”
“My mom told me that if you French kiss for to long then you get a girl pregnant.”
Aya Amirdash Thank you!
@@aidenroy576 that explains all these paternity suits against me...
Aya Amirdash I know dog
BUT WHY IS HE BREATHING
I came for the eyeball kiss and I was sorely disappointed
You seen rick and morty? It's basically just like that bit with the eyeholes, except no eyehole burglar
Will C GIVE ME BACK MY EYEHOLES!
Aye, love your channel bro! Thank you for making good content because oh Lord does UA-cam need it right now. Keep trying
Don’t be man, that’s how I got pink eye a couple years ago. Not worth it.
JARVIS!!!!!!
I love how they explain kissing like pokemon attacks (“i used the passion whatever kiss”)
it was effective
Charizard! use passion kiss!
It wasn't very effective...
This is just the adult equivalent of when I was a kid and typed "mermaid spells" into youtube thinking that this one action would solve my entire life's problem
i feel called out
Loool
It's nice to know that I'm not the only one. Did you also watch the Discovery Channel mermaid documentaries and have your gullible, young mind blown?
@@crystaleunoia3974 and the "top ten mermaid evidence" videos. My gullible young mind loved nothing more than a listicle
Same thing for me except I am trans so uh it was a bit *harder*
"Primal Passion Kiss" and "Mirror Universe Kiss" sound like magical-girl anime moves
Lmfao
*KISS KISS FALL IN LOVE*
Oh my god. SOMEBODY MAKE A CALL.
I hope he does an update on this Micheal Fiore shit cause I got ads from them and their shit is now on crack. Talking about male energy and shit
@@AceRomyuki323 MAYBE YOU'RE MY LOVE ✨
Just tried the eyelid kiss. Can confirm boyfriend’s look of horror as he did not close his eyes.
Hahahahaha oh my god that’s amazing 😂
He clearly does not like vore
@@spookcannot3967 cease
i finally understand the joy of bringing the like total to a milestone. 1k, and I can die in peace now!
@@blue4155 agreed, it feels way to good to advance the likes from 3 to 4 digit number....100% c e r t a i n that if i had a d*ck it'd be ROCK hard
The dude looks like the base character before you customize them
Omg litERALLYYYY
This is beautiful
I don’t that I really care how a girl is kissing me, I’m just happy because she cares enough to kiss me.
Same brotha
Same sis
Yerr
wholesome
That video of the woman talking was some terrible terrible fanfiction
I hope her man's toes are okay tbh
Was about to like but it was at 469.
"You didn't tilt your head 10 degrees and that's why Brian hasn't wanted to see you naked in 3 years" had me dying!
why did i read this comment exactly when he said it
understandable reason
@@ashblu3 He said that? Maybe he hasn't yet for where I am. RN he's saying you're supposed to be a kissing expert and "hungry tigress"
@@ashblu3 me too
My boyfriend isn’t that good of a kisser. I’ve never been like ‘damn I need to break up with this awesome guy who shares my sense of humor and worldview, is smart and educated, and is extremely secure, because his lip game is not on point.’
Once you’ve been dating for a minute, you kiss like once a month. If this is the key factor in your relationships I guarantee that’s not gonna work out.
Preach
Actually lol.
Also, you can really easily give a partner pointers on how to kiss you how you like. Most partners will do it because they know you’ll like it, it’s not rocket science Michael!
Wait what you kiss like once a month? That seems sad to me
Just teach him how you want to be kissed so u guys can kiss everyday
His website is like a really bad smut FanFiction, written by a 12yo on Wattpad about fnaf
"WARNING: ONLY use this kiss when you have the time and space to be properly RAVISHED by your man..."
Dear God. That may possibly be the single funniest sentence I have ever read.
warmCabin LOL SAME
Yeah and all of his tips SUCK. There is only ONE way to win a man over by kissing him. The big secret is, don't kiss him on the mouth kiss him on his *censored*
That reads like it should be translated reggaeton lyrics ngl
Y’all these kissing tips can be found in like fanfic for 0 damn dollars smh
My ex friend learned how to s**k d**k from harry styles fanfic
@@jackieviramontes5226 I can only assume that they're your ex-friend because you were afraid of how powerful they'd become
@@jackieviramontes5226 you would be surprised at how detailed and helpful they are!
THE TRUTH
This is *the first thing* I thought lmao
Got flashbacks to when I was 12
How to kiss a man so just the thought of a woman breaks every bone in his body and his brain melt through his eyes.
Ladies I beg of you please do not do this. My wife stumbled upon Mr Micheal and my bones are barely now healing! Please!
@@bcc5701 keep it up ladies don't let men heal.
My wife would be extra dangerous with this in her arsenal. I know this comment is two years old but it made my day.
3:53 - It looks like all the hair from his head went to his forearm.
y o u f e e l y o u r t o e s c u r l
Shalini Saravanan oh god not again!
Something tells me Micheal likes toes lmao
Shalini Saravanan that comment made my ovaries curl, up and die.
It’s called hammer toe you should see a doctor.
weird.. my toes curl when I get my balls licked rofl
I’ve been with my husband for 13 years & we care for each other deeply. If he came home from work and I tried to tongue kiss him he’d think there was a killer in the house and I was trying to silently warn him.
The dude did say a kiss is a *conversation*
Sooo
Mambo Shala you can pass him the key that way
@@MomoGobboYT I'm sorry I know you commented that a week ago but it's still haunting me.
This thread is mildly cursed. I like it.
I love that the little video about the woman “losing” her lover is missing the point. If your significant other is late for a fight he’s not going to be like, “yes the time for a romantic kiss” he’s going to be stressed because he’s late for a flight. You’ll kiss later but right now possibly a thousand dollars and possibly his job is on the line so...cut the man some slack.
eddy burback looks like he gives the best hugs
TRUE
Facts
Eddy pretending he has kissed a girl for 24 minutes
This is the funniest thing I've seen all day. And I just wanted to thank you for that
Gash Jackson has probably kissed a lady but I'm pretty sure it was only through a dental dam. At least Eddothy isn't scared of cooties.
more like Michael pretending he's kissed a girl before
It's fucked up how funny this comment is to me
And one second
Thank you Seth Everman, for saving my marriage
cursed
Blursed
He is Seth's older, less attractive and popular brother who has no talent in music and is convinced that he has a talent in marketing, which is also not true.
Seth's parents have his pictures upstairs in a drawer while Seth is staring at guests from a hundred portraits on the wall. All four walls, in fact.
Their parents pretend to have only one son.
No wonder this guy sells both kissing advice and self-praise in same quantities
Соня Скупова damn
Don't you fucking disrespect Seth like that ever again
Things I learned today:
1) Eddy listens to MF DOOM
2) The reason I'm single is cause I kiss bad
3) Bryan is a chad.
Jesus Christ! You cracked it!
I was wondering what my marriage was missing and I realize now, it was a Katana. You've saved my marriage and you've also helped me start a new career as a body guard. I've never felt more badass. Thank you.
But like... is there a specific way I should kiss my Katana so it doesn't leave me?
Targeting insecure women craving male attention for monetary gain? Now that's a big YIKES from me!
How do u like a comment more than once
@@em-zb6gl Duplicate accounts
That's marketing.
Seriously half of marketing is designed to prey on your insecurities, the other half is to make you want shit you didnt know you wanted. Arguably the easier one is preying on insecurities. Why do you think the diamond industry pushes jewelry as the ultimate sign of love for example?
Ordering a big *YIKES* right now sir 👩💻
That's business.
make sure to point your toes towards the like button
😂
Haha
I liked this comment with my toe
🩰
Probably the most cursed thing I've ever heard, but incredibly relevant, unlike this comment, which is replying to a comment from a year ago.
9:32 does dude really say "it sends an *unconscious* message"? Cause that sounds like tips for Bill Cosby.
Unless he meant subconscious, which is something completely different....
All I got was a gcu ad when I clicked on the time stamp
@@godrickthegrafted7583 really? I just clicked on it and it showed the message.
What's a GCU ad?
@@altusshow7574 gcu means Grand Canyon University
I can’t tell if he hired a bad wattpad smut author for the script or of he wrote it himself.
Porque no los dos¿
why does this sound like the worst kind of fanfiction
It's even written like a Wattpad fanfic
Watt pad writers don’t deserve this, they aren’t scamming ppl
I was thinking the same...
Bc it is loool
These types of ads are so incredibly condescending to women. I saw one that started by saying how miserable women are without a man and how they spend Friday evenings crying with a tub of ice cream. And this was aimed at women! I think it was supposed to be relatable xD Anyway that's when I closed the tab because I couldn't take it anymore. Eddy did a real sacrifice here.
Evija3000 Oh honey, I don’t need a man or ice cream. I just need a vibrator and porn
Pretty sure that type of ad is preying on the most desperate of women
@Tara Lang Congrats on being strong women who can handle themselfs. But in all honesty, wouldnt you want to be held while falling asleep everynight? Not Need, but want. I know thats what i miss most from relationships. as aman
@Tara Lang That is to me as true as it is untrue. If you decide too love Anyone it will most likely not be "The Relationship", But it might very well still be the one relationship. If not you have hopefully gained some experience about yourself and others. So i can get behind that strategy, but there if deffenitely a point to be made about "not looking and finding". I think it is becouse you will naturally end up around people that likes the same things as you and will therefor find a partner that fits better.
They both work and both have Great possetives and Great negatives.
Also a note on cuddeling. It's the fact that the person trusts you completely to chose to be beside and in contact with you in a time when we just need to be safe to fall asleep. I guess it's just an ego thing.
There are similar ads of similar... "programs" directed at men, with very similar techniques in how they advertise it (bring up the promise of a secret, create this narrative, have the ad be super long so they feel like they're already engaged, high ball a "real" cost for the thing while actual cost is something like 30 bucks which in comparison seems low). The interesting bit is where they differ. The ones directed at men are focused on sex, almost entirely. They also have a much stronger focus on "mind control". A lot of them are about how you can completely control women with this one secret technique.
"I felt like I found a man who finally understood..."
Ah, yes, us women need men to explain everything to us! I'd forgotten! 😂🤢
Allow me to explain why we need to do that...
“The frickin Steven universe one, I-I dunno if you can do that one. I think that ones illegal..”
tImE tO kIsS a MiNoR
The way this guy writes from the perspective of a woman reads like some weird erotica like "Cassidy was just a simple housewife when she got these tips and now she's a TIGRESS. just an absolute MONSTER in the bedroom."
She also owns 20 Maseratis, 12 houses and a hotel for herself and her second grandmother with Aspergers. She got all this and more ALL from selling these essential oils! Follow my Face- woah, wait wrong script.
His (Michael, not Eddy) demographic is insecure, middle-aged women and he knows it.
Micheal: *reads Fifty Shades of Grey and thinks all women act like the main character*
The “love expert” in this video looks like a Minecraft villager
no
no
H R R N ?
😂
Holy shit
The Steven Universe kiss heals your lover.
I also vouch for the headcanon that it constantly tastes like strawberries.
The without a single word part hit me hard lmao, literally 90% of relationship problems are solved through words
"And he just pulls away."
Yeah. Yeah most kisses don't last forever. Luckily.
Dementors approve
Most
most??????
All but the kiss of death
Eddy, I tried the 'Primal Passion Kiss' on my man and he became unintelligible and started carrying around a club and wearing this weird tattered toga with a tiger pattern...I don't even know where he got them, I suspect he used Amazon to order a Fred Flintstone costume...What do I do? I thought it would improve our relationship, but now all he wants to do is ride around in his golf cart and go out dinosaur hunting with the boys...I don't think he actually knows much about the stone age.
weird. he's not worshiping you?
Lmao
i cant like this comment, its 420 likes..
@@creedbratton548 It's the internet; someone ruined it.
Is your man Casey Neistat?
fan theory: "Eddy bought this video instantly. He knew immediately that one of two things would happen. He would either learn the secret to FORCING Gus to love him back, or he would have one dope ass video." Sorry you didn't get the guy, Eddy.. but the video is great!
Lmao poor eddy, the primal passion kiss didnt work :/
Recent events have not touched these comments kindly
"...like he was kissing his grandma..."
Y'all kiss your grandma on the lips?
Michael does
In slavic cultures, people do kiss family on the lips, no matter the age 🙃 (but uhm... not with tongue or anything, before someone thinks something weird)
“That’s right women, if your relationship is struggling, it’s you’re fault for not kissing good enough” - this Michael guy apparently
?? I've stopped guys from kissing me weirdly and been like hey that's too much tongue. Or I'll ask them hey it feels like you're pulling away lately, can we talk about it?
Like guys just be forthright without attacking the person and you're good. Don't buy RachelRayMichaels ridiculous program.
Alexis D lots of people seem to think proper conversation is a romance killer.
@@Zimzamzoom95 idk why but maybe it's all these posts on social media from pseudo-influencers saying things like "He/She should know what you want before you even say it" or "We dont even need to say it, we say I love you with our eyes." And stupid shit like that. Maybe not, but it's still silly.
And here I thought it was because I constantly brought him down, he thinks I'm about to fight him when he comes home, everytime I see him I tell him how much I wish I'd said yes to another man.... But I'll just add a lil more tongue 😂😂😂😂also this is THICK sarcasm I don't abuse my man lmao
@@Gtree43 Hmmmm which part of the sentence 🤔
“Relationship expert” so you got your bachelors degree in communication
and then he finds 7 million different ways to convince sad women in relationships not 2 communicate
his website just looks like a virus
The steven universe kiss-
You become connie, deny his marriage proposal, kiss him and he turns into a giant pink dragon
thanks! now i know!
With great power cones great responsibility
How many shrimps should I eat to turn my skin pink?
Berd.... make a video of how berds kiss. I see you on this vid so I know that you now know about how to kiss. Make it. Berd-e.
There is a verified berd account?
Cool!
When are you going to let me change my Twitter banner? :(
I could actually use these tips on my boyfriend... so that every time we touch, I get this feeling. and every time we kiss, I swear I could fly. can’t you feel my heart beat fast. I want this to last. need you by my side
Lmaooo
I’m having childhood flashbacks of naruto x sasuke amv’s
@@xxnekonekox :o lol
Why did I laugh so much.
This is one of the best comments Ive read in My entire life
I can't get the image of Michael kicking his feet up on the bed like a schoolgirl while writing his erotic fan-fiction out of my head. Also, can't help but wonder how many happy relationships he's actually had...
That’s what I was thinking when that woman was reading some of that stuff. I was like “this sounds like fanfiction.”
Michael: "I wish girls would kiss me more... how do I tell them?"
Honestly Eddy gives the advice every person needs to hear, and it's free
8:26
"Brian could you pay any attention to me at all, because it seems like you're not even trying
And then if he says no? Leave him! Don't take a $500 an hour class with this dude to learn how you can win Brian back. *The fuck has Brian ever done for you?"*
you could’ve just said “8:42-8:55” is very good advice. you didn’t have to quote the video we all saw it
this dude michael paints a very sad picture of straight women in long term relationships
Yea I mean my grandpa and grandma have been married since they were 18 and they're both 70
and it’s pretty accurate sadly.
How is his head so bald but his arm so hairy?
God hates him in particular
he cut all his head hair off and glued it to his body to look more manly and kissable
cmlc the hair migrated to his arm to escape the eyeball kissing!
Testosterone maybe.
gravity
The re-watchability of this video is insane.
This guy from the ad looks like dollar store pitbull
“The primal passion kiss” sounds like an anime fight move that a 40 year old perv character would yell
PRIMALu PASSIONu KISSu
😂😂😂😂😂😂 lmfao
Muten Roshi-sama's secret weapon
Lmaoo The u's killed me
@@atrapdr6251 Me too, Dude!! Actually heard it in an Old-Anime-Perverts Voice while reading
@@natvasch6399 Loll
I got this ad a while back when I was in a very dark and vulnerable place and I almost fell for it (don’t judge too harshly, please), THIS is exactly the video I’ve been looking for back then. I hope lots of people who get targeted by this creepy and condescending ad find your video!
You guys shouldnt feel self conscious about falling for the ad. That's what he does. He crawls down into people's depression pits with girls who just want to be loved and find someone and then acts like he has a ladder out of the pit. It's very tempting to try to pay for the ladder. But the true power comes from crawling out of the pit yourself. Proud of you guys.
That's what makes it so disgusting. It's clearly predatory and targets people who are either very desperate or just in a vulnerable, low place in their life currently. And then he exploits them for all their money.
Fitness gurus pull the same garbage. They all act like there's secrets or shortcuts to this stuff too, when there just isn't. The answer to your problems is almost always right in front of your face, and it's usually the thing you've been avoiding because of some larger truth or commitment it entails. This goes for anything really.
But if you're low enough or desperate enough you believe there must be something you're missing, and that's how they get you. But once you're on the other side of that, and you can think more clearly, it's just insane to see how many people pretend they know way more than they do, and they really only hold a basic understanding of how something works, and in this guys case I would say he's even below the line on that. And he's claiming to be an expert, and is shameless about the lack of proof or credentials. Like he doesn't even have any pictures of him with women and no ones ever come forward claiming they've been in a relationship with him or tried to defend him at all. And tbh I doubt he's ever even experienced real love for himself.
No judgment here, hon. Glad you're doing better now.
I’m glad Eddie lost money on this dude before y’all did, glad y’all are doing better too.
Same. My dumb 13 year old self watched one of these ads to the very end
One real kissing tip from my mother and her 50-year marriage to my father: occasionally, when they're talking, she'll take his hand and kiss the back of it while looking up at him lovingly. They'll then hold hands for the rest of the conversation, with him looking shy but pleased. I think it just goes to show that men like to feel cherished, too, and finding tender gestures that your male partner appreciates is important.
Oh my god! That’s so cute!
"Over the next few months I worked with Michael to pull out every secret, every technique, every trick, and every idea out of his ass."
Seems like a way to scam self conscious women ... disgusting 😑
LIKE THE BIG SHLONG ADS
the dude from split has a personality that loves writing erotic fiction
i had no idea it wasn't him; i'm so glad i now know that it wasn't actually him. thank you, Oana Puha
All these names for the kisses sound like abilities you'd find in some shitty RPG, like the "Mirror Universe Kiss" sounds like the ultimate move you'd use against the final boss
Power of love baby; seduce the final boss
That entire powerpoint presentation ad is just a poem with extra steps.
Kissing is literally the only thing that goes into a relationship.
Call me old fashioned, but I have to be married to a girl for at least 3 years before I can kiss them
Jake Custer 😂
Kids these days.
In my day we didn't kiss at all😒😒
Are you secretly Girl Defined?
Mario Bros 🤫
Doug Stanhope:"we didn't even finger fuck til we were 30!"
😐dear god. He charges more than my boss, who is an actual couples therapist with a goddamn TED Talk.
Yes, but, does your boss know how to tell if someone is girlfriend material just from one kiss
@@hj-wl4jp no... he just knows how to form secure and long-lasting relationships. 😕arguably not as cool.
You have to tell us the name of the TED talk
But was your boss a guest on the Rachael Ray Show?
was your boss on Rachel ray? Also what country do you live in where a couples therapist charges less than 42 dollars I need to move there
When he started reading Michael’s testimonies with that selfie, I damn near died.
Holy shit, this is making kissing sound like a superpower.
Kiss someone, and communicate years worth of information, understand their wants and needs implicitly, and have control of them to bend them to your whims...
Eddy is out here doing what most UA-camrs wouldn't, paying for kissing classes so we don't have to.
Lets be real, eddy took these classes to learn how to kiss
@@boopdeeb9444 He did but he also hit me up for free my dude. What a homie
I'm gonna wreck one of this man's points: dogs dont lick out of affection or love.
Dogs lick for several reasons:
1: they like the salt in your sweat. Even if you dont feel sweaty dogs can taste the salt in your skin.
2: licking releases endorphins in their brain. So if your dog is stressed or scared they will lick to try and calm themselves. That may be you, themselves, or even just the ground.
C: dogs lick the faces and mouths of the person/dog/animal they feel is in charge. It's a form of submission. Of my 4 dogs, our oldest is the "alpha dog" of the four. All 3 of the other dogs lick his mouth and face to show that they respect his position and know they are below him.
4: attention. When your dog "kisses" you, you often get excited or at least pet them. Therefore you have trained your dog that licking=attention.
You didn't have to break my heart like that.
? CeCe ? Ikr I thought my dog kisses me because he loved me 😭
But then why do they lick their children so frequently?
Your dog does love you, you’re the alpha.
Oscar Wilde to clean them
10:29 I just had a horrifying realization that this class sounds like Michael "teaches them kissing" by making out with them. He's like the tennis instructor that sleeps with rich men's lonely wives. 🤣
He looks like mr. Cleans weird cousin
Mr. Filth
*it started out with a kiss how did it end up like this*
edit: i jUSt got a michael fiore ad and i'm screaMing guys hELp
It was only a kiss. *It was only a kiss.*
And she’s touching his chest now
He takes off her dress now
Let me go
And I just can’t look
It’s killing me
Just read the edit still to the tune of the song
It won’t stop
It goes on and on
Are you telling me that sticking my tongue out like a lizard and flapping my arms like a chicken isn’t what men want in a passionate kiss?
Also, I’m pretty sure the “mouth-to-mouth” method is just CPR, Michael.
LMAO
am male and i can confirm that the "lizard-chicken" method is exactly what all men actually want.
Lizard chicken is advanced technique revealed for the upgrade
Lizard chicken kiss is so 2000 late. Crocodile snake kiss is what's hot now.
@@moeezS You really are sleeping on the ass to tongue Cow Giraffe technique my freind.
“You can just shorten this to buy you man a katana.”
I just laughed so hard at this.
Honestly we wouldn't have to deal with all these Self-Help Gurus and guys making shitty relationship POV tiktoks if guys just let themselves write fanfic. That's clearly what all of them want to do, but they're not letting themselves. It's so sad.
Oh my god all the skipping before the program wowww
Omwwww I love you and your videos
oh hi, you're here
ily mom
The difference in hair on Fiore’s forearm and upper arm is staggering.
Havelah Kusi right? it’s like he waxes his upper arms but not his forearms lol
Havelah Kusi he looks like when a fantasy character has armour exclusively on their lower arms, except it's hair and disgusting.
Havelah Kusi I know. And the baldness just exaggerates the arm hair
That was the most disturbing part of that picture.
im dying
2:18 What I thought Mr. Burback said: "I don't even know when I'm kissing a girl!"
"is that sexy?!?!?" had me fucking crying
You could've just asked me if you wanted to practice :/
Zipzapadam dang same :^/
The most disgusting thing about this "class" is the combination of how it targets at young, insecure girls by specifically making them think "You're the one who's doing something wrong", and how everything is worded so specifically to manipulate these young, vulnerable, insecure, younger girls that they're clearly targeting.
It's so gross to me how we constantly see predatory "I'll teach you the secret" setups like this where the commercial is basically someone saying "YOU'RE wrong, it's YOUR fault, YOU need to be better and different because YOU are the failure (pay me to teach you,)" instead of the more obvious conclusion that nobody would pay to hear: _you really need to expose yourself to more different types of people and stop going after the same dysfunctional/incompatible person every time_ ."
Exactly!!!! so true 👏
That woman in the video sounded like a whole Wattpad story 😭😭
Dudeeee please do a review on those psychic commercials I get them all the time it’s like “thanks to psychic Donna, now I know that my husband was cheating on me” and shit like that
Finally, I don't have to practice on my cousin.
wait
Alabama intensifies
You stole my joke
Wat in tarnation
Hol up.
Every single one of my toes curled while watching this video
Niki they made mine point towards the door
Now if only my toes curled towards the door...
Niki Individually or all at once?
Only 7 of my toes curled
Wait seriously all of them? Woah. Goals.
As the great Dua Lipa once said, “One kiss is all it takes. Falling in love with me. Possibilities.”
"honey i need to go on a business trip"
"WHY DONT YOU KISS ME ANYMORE"
The way to any man's heart - a katana
Surgery?
Steal the ones he keeps in jars by his bed.
@@christopherminutolo9384 A katana is probably too large for that--surgery, I mean: if you just want the heart and don't care about the other bits, though, it should do nicely enough.
Either by giving it to him or staving him
Nah your bare hands
19:52 “Establishing YOUR sexual power over him...” that sounds like part of a legal definition of sexual harassment
OK, I cannot possibly be the only one who would have wished for that dude's picture to rotate so badly. 13:00. It would have added such a nice touch to those creepy eyes staring into the remains of your soul.
1:00 i as a woman(but a child who has never dated) used to get these ads all the time when i was like 10-12
I'm suddenly ashamed to be a Michael
it’s ok michael scott evens it out
Well, it's a good thing you go by Mike.
More like Mike Hunt
And so you should.
and Michael Reeves
"... like I was about to start a fight..."
This woman sounds borderline abusive.
Pretty sure she killed her last husband.
I remember when I was like 13, I used to look up stuff like "How to get a girl to like you?" or "How to get my crush to like me?" Luckily, I realized that I was just not in the mental space to be in any sort of relationship and avoided becoming a sad desperate man like Michael. But I found the secret technique! All you have to do is....
Pay me $50,000 each minute of a one hour class and I'll tell you.
Also Sky High is a fucking banger of a movie and there's nothing wrong with you if you like it.