Why Does My Ex Talk Badly About Me?
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- Опубліковано 1 лип 2024
- Why does your ex talk bad about you? Clay Andrews answers that for you here. You may also want to check out this series on what your ex is thinking: • What Your Ex Is Thinki...
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Why does my ex talk badly about me? Well, you have to start by looking at what would emotionally inspire them to actually start to behave this way. The truth is that they probably had to create a version of you in their mind that was worthy of breaking up with. And THIS is the real version of you that they are talking about when they are talking badly about you.
If you want to know how to get your ex back, you're going to have to find a way to re-shift your ex's attention away from the version of you that they THINK you are and put it back on the present moment so that they are able to actually connect with you and reevaluate their decision to talk bad about you.
Once they see who you are and they realize that they were wrong, they'll stop talking badly about you and they'll be much more open and receptive to giving you a fair chance.
**** IMPORTANT ****
This is an internet video, and it should be obvious, but this video and other videos on this channel should not be taken as a substitute for the evaluation of a psychologist, therapist, counselor, etc. This video and other videos on this channel are intended for informational uses only, and only reflect the personal opinions of the creator. The creator of this video is not responsible for your actions or choices or the consequences of your actions or choices. - Навчання та стиль
Thanks for watching this video. If you'd like to get a better understanding of your ex's thoughts, be sure to check out this series: ua-cam.com/video/UsB2VB0f-d0/v-deo.html
Hi Clay!My bf dump me by text weve been 2yrs and half and we are in a long distance relationship,He was telling that because of my jealousy he said that the love is there but our problems and fights is more and more and he doesnt like to fixed anymore he already give up,we just having a good time last dec until jan 8 and go back to germany,our relationships was great we only have problems if we are away or LDR,i love him so much we have lots of plans to our future,we are been break up for 3wks,after this i dont communicate to him and i try to talk to him i beg and sorry that we will work out or fixedbut he dont like and the last text to him is i agree and let him go,I want him back what should i do?
@@sheilagonzales3738 The arguments have given too much negative emotions that it overpowered the love he still has for you. Begging and forcing him to accept what you want won't work. You need to work on regaining the emotional connection back.
Hi Clay!thank you for reply!i used the no contact to Him since we broke up 3wks now i check that he was unfriend me in fb?What should i do now?should i continue to take him back or should i move on now?
My ex constantly bashes me on Facebook. It’s really embarrassing. The things she say are so false, it’s really heartbreaking. She cheated on me, dumped me, and then bashed me. It’s terrible.
I'm experiencing something very similar right now
that's why I'm here
Going through that right now. Just makes no sense
I'm going through the EXACT same thing!!!
brother , we're on the same situation .. I have no Idea why they do that.😅
Here two years and 3 months post relationship finished. This comment I relate to
An ex taking about you or any other person means they aren't over you. They still have feelings of you. Indifference means the end but anger means emotion.
I definitely have zero romantic feelings, but when very horrible things happen yes, you do not forget them and you shouldn’t forget them
Yes!! I caught him several times bad mouthing me and twisting things and when I confronted him he’d still lie to my face claiming he never said such things when I heard him myself.
Maybe it is best to reconsider if he is the type of person that you want back in life.
I bet he was shook too
My god. My ex is such a fake too. Keep strong
See it as a compliment. You are human. And admit your own mistakes. Move on. It's the best way. In 3 months you will know for sure if the breakup was a gift of life.
Yet again, why would you wanna b with a person who used lies to justify the his/her actions? After all the person did a cowardly act with not giving a crap about u. Why come back to a person like that, that can do it again later on? In my opinion, don’t waste time. Look for someone who appreciate u for who u really are. Don’t b with someone who is willing to throw u under the bus when things go bad
That's the thing, John. If you feel that the other person's values/character is not aligned with your personal values and 5 x5, you have to assess if it's worth getting back to the person or not.
He's still talking badly of me 🙄 like bro you're with someone and I'm with someone. Dude has serious issues.
Mu ex husband remarried and still continue to talk bad and tell lies on me to my children his new wife and his family shit is really annoying
Anytime I hear the positive pull back i get slight joy. Because it's been two weeks since last talking for completely the whole day and she just pulled back. Ever since the top of the year we've talked once or twice each week. Had a few facetime chats lately as progress. But watching your videos Clay have helped my mental aspect because we're connecting in but it's just one obstacle i just want her to move out the way so badly.
Watching eyes clouded with tears
My ex keep saying bad things about me calling me controlling when really he’s controlling
She call me every single day and we talk she tell me that she loves me very now she say she don't want me to contact her she telling me I'm controlling when I'm she from DC and I'm from Jamaica
Clay this I s really special information nobody else is talking about.
Thank you, Valentina. I'm glad that you find our videos truly helpful. :-)
Just concentrate on making money fellas.
This is SOOOO FACTS! VERY positive video during the reattraction phase. I'm literally going through this right now. We've already went through the no contact phase and the gradual build in communication. Were back to making love regularly. (3-4 times weekly) She still wants to date because shes not sure about my changes. Just last night, she told me she wasn't sure she could put her trust in me again after what I put her through. She generalizes quite often but then when we talk, alot of the shit she says isn't what really happened. She even said herself when we spoke last week that maybe she was "nitpicking" in reference to her telling me why we couldn't get back together. My favorite part about that is SHE brought up the conversation. I was just enjoying our time. Shes definitely considering it tho.
Thanks for the compliment @ DtroytDave :-)
@@ClayAndrews You're very welcome sir. I love what you're doing.
How long had you been broken up till you got to the reattraction phase?
@@peachblossom.phlox3403 Well THIS time, it was about 3 months. The thing about my specific situation is that I know her so I know she prefers a relationship and she's not the type of woman that would just go out and sleep with randoms. This helps my security because although I'm not with her 24 hours, I also don't really worry about who she's talking to or if there's another guy in the picture. I mean it always COULD be but I know who I am to her so I barely even think about that. She just had to learn how to show me my respect and that came from me reeling in my emotions and showing her who the man is.
My ex talked badly about me also put downs,how you were like this an like that but don’t see how they really are it’s a shame that you’re all the blame like they did nothing wrong ( I’m actually happy she is gone I can live for myself)
We broke up 4 months ago and i am killing the no contact rule perfectly, he reached out manyyyyy times and i was sure he is still in love with me as he saves all my pictures and was even posting sad quotes recently and telling me 1000 times that he misses me a lot, but he ghosted me 13 days ago out of jealousy, i didnt initiate a contact first, until yesterday when i got to know he is suddenly turning bitter and talking trash about me for no reason, maybe he is pissed off because i dont contact him, i dont know what to do
We broke up 2 years ago. She acts all friendly with me now, we still contact each other. But she talks bad about me to our mutual friend behind my back. Wth?
We broke up a month ago and I heard from mutual friends that she's been talking bad about me to her friends. We were dating for a little over a year and only the last 2 months were turbulent. I owned up to my short comings, but haven't heard from her since.
Weirdly enough we both took down pictures we had together on our IG's but she still has her name set as the nickname I gave her. I also dropped off her stuff after we broke up, but she said she still had some things that she would pick up later.
I wonder if this is just so she has an excuse to reach out? But also weird because now even if she wants to reach out, all of her friends hate me so I'm sure they'd be against it. Will be interesting to see if she put her personal feelings over her friends feelings that she instilled upon them (if she even still has feelings).
I am 24 and my ex was my first bf. We dated like 1 year and than i broke up with him because he's been making me feel so worthless lately. After the breakup, he contacted me again and apologized and we talked for a while, but when I saw that he didn't change and I cut off my communication again. now on twitter, he started to write things like I am a b*tch and I have a personality disorder etc., referring to but he does not publicly give my name. I really don't know what to do anymore..
Yeah almost all men are bullies and abusive nowadays. Stay away from them if your not sure. Work on urself
Hi clay quick question, will exes who you are “friends” with and are having positive interactions between follow the same 5 step process described in your other videos exactly the same way or does it differ ?
The 5 step process or 5 stages talks about the emotional connection. I would say that it is still applicable even if you are friends and have been interacting rather positively.
Thank you Clay.
Very welcome. :-)
Thanks for the video 😇 n should we xplain each other if he accuse things I never did?
mine never wanna talk to me again as he have such an negative image.. But still says I am a gud human being
If he's accusing you of things, I think it's better to give space first. Your ex could be close minded at this stage because of the negative feelings he has, so your explanation will just fall on deaf ears.
I love the words you used bcos my ex used the same words. He told me he had to break up with me he didn't have a choice.
@Tebogo Pilane , We truly appreciate your compliment. :-)
Why ex would literally change versions of events and add things into stories to make himself look better when we were together... I can only imagine what sort of stories he's telling now we're broken up... His brother lives over the road from me and literally ignores my existence whenever we cross paths... It's heart breaking. I'm a good woman, a good person and I did nothing wrong.
This ex as I came to know literally ruined my image in the university which I get to know even after one year.and I just want to**** his case. And then when I deleted his no started studying hard , working on skills my personality and life is constantly upgrading with achievements and then randomly a friend comes and gives his no to me .and when I check he had unblocked me.while I kept him blocked.I just get mad at what he did.And absolute hate for him now
How can i approach my ex to prove to her that im change because she always talking bad about me to her friends and she's current in rebound relationship now or monkey branch. Thank you
This was good but..I'm the one not walking back.
The point is: how do i get to interact with my ex if i know he’s talking about me in his telegram groups (that i can read from outside)?
Clay, my boyfriend recently broke up with me on March 1st and since then it’s been a roller coaster of emotions for me. He told me that he loved me but he wasn’t in love with me and that he hadn’t felt the same. This news came after I saw he was sexting with another female and even though I told him I was willing to work through it with him he took a week to think about what he wanted to do while still treating me like we were in a great relationship. I have been the one sad since then, however he seems to be having a lot of fun. He’s always going out with friends or his family and he does this same thing almost every day. I don’t know what to do, we unfortunately still live together but I do not know what to do in this scenario. He seems like he’s already moving on and it hasn’t been a month. What does this mean?
The attraction and passion that you used to have are being blocked by the issues in the relationship that you both failed to address. There's a need to bring the emotional connection back. Have you tried No Contact? (or in your case, Limited No Contact).
Clay Andrews I attempted no contact while I was with my parents and it was usually him that broke it for me. He would FaceTime me or the one he day he texted me he was in the hospital. I wasn’t sure if it was working and I wanted to try limited contact in our house
My ex has been spreading these really really bad rumors and being super fake and odd, trying to get in my head. What should I do?
Exactly this for me
Hi. In my case my ex have a new girlfriend that talk badly about me all the time and because of that when my ex see me on the street he literaly run for the hills. I think he was brainwashed. Now I don't know what to do.
Why do you care what an X thinks of you?
All of my exes bash me minus may be too, it’s so they feel good about being with the dogs they put themselves with
Clay, she’s still bad talking me 3 months later and she’s in a rebound and talks about the things we did together even around the rebound. But when it comes to talking about me she still calls me a liar over a single lie.
I'm sorry to hear about that @spaceace124 . Does the character that she is showing right now is something that is still aligned to your personal values?
My ex is doing the samething to win points with his new girlfriend I guess it feels good to throw me under the bus
What do I do if I got blocked but didn't really do anything to deserve it? I had gotten mad at her before but I thought we were hitting a good spot and I even gave her space too. I had only messaged her saying that I hoped she had fun on her trip. What should i do then?
@Chris, do you still have other means to reach out to her? Respect your ex's wishes for space as of now as she may not have that emotional capability yet to open her doors to communicate with you.
@@ClayAndrews I think she may need more time.
I broke up with my ex about 7 months ago, and I just found out a few days ago that he is telling his friends that I cheated on him with a friend. Yes I'm together with a mutual friend now, but this wasn't the case when I was still together with him. It only happened 5 months after we broke up. I didn't even talk to other guys when I was together with my ex bf, I really don't understand why he is telling all this bullshit.. He was the one who was flirting and going out with other girls when we were in a relationship, not the other way around. I never told anyone what he did to me, I never talked bad about him to anyone, I really don't understand. I know he's mad at me because I don't want to talk to him anymore (he tried for 5 months to be friends again), but this shouldn't be a reason for him to tell bad lies about me.. :(
I'm sorry to hear about what happened and this must be truly tough on you emotionally. Breakups can bring both good and bad in a person. Maybe there were some misunderstandings that needs to be cleared out. I hope both of you will have a chance to clear these things out.
He keeps telling mutual friends that they don't understand that they didn't date me. And then they tell them then explain to me what we don't understand. And then he says it again you just don't get it with her. I don't say anything negative about my ex. Not even to friends. I watched your videos and I realized hes at the stage or hes just gonna play everything on me. I take my responsibility I'm not taking his.
My ex broke up with me a month ago. I did a bit of pleading and begging but then went into no contact for 10 days. We talked casually but she was cold and didn’t want to meet me but she met lots of people and likes some other men. I was in no contact for 2 days again but then asked her to FaceTime me. What should I do if she likes other people and no contact hasn’t been working?
Hey there, Doing Active No Contact is more of honing the Advanced Relational Skills and healing our own self, as much as it is to get our ex back. Remember that you can only control yourself in this situation and not your ex.
What if your not talking though?
Oh it’s very convenient the way she is lying about me
Two years on from 8 year relationship. He left for someone else hes still with and i recently found out apparently i smell, nobody likes me and I have had some kinda brekdown ..he monkey branched 😅 but still talking about me.
Mine drag my name through the mud to his new girlfriend
it’s been 2 months and he just now started talking shit. about when we had intercourse. things increasingly got worse. he was talking this stuff so i punched him and asked why and he said it was his friends.(bullshit) his friends were even like dawg he lying, he just embarrassed. he gave me a nickname but i didn’t know it was true till i got sent a joke pizza to my house with the nickname. parents got called. this is ridiculous. i’m always wondering why 2 months later?
my ex reached out to check on my family back in italy, we both live in the uk..I'm confused as we broke up 6 months ago
mania Mania sounds like breadcrumbs to me. A good sign they have been thinking about you and want an excuse to message you without being too obvious
mania Mania,I think your ex is checking on your family in Italy given the situation that they are going through in their country right now. So I am not sure if that can be associated to your romantic relationship.
@@ClayAndrews but I don't see why she needs to do that really..why whould she want to know if they are alright?
@@maniamania4227 It is in our nature as humans to care. Breaking up doesn't mean she has to stop caring. Italy is going through a very tough time with the virus right now, and since she knows your family, she probably wants to make sure they are okay. I feel that in this pandemic, we should make it a point to ask how everyone is doing. You can even ask your ex. :)
@@ClayAndrews Thanks for replying coach! it means a lot!
I moved on but shes talking about me bad. N i paid everything did everything. It sucks 😕
Yep, twice my ex has done this.....
My question, i did nothing really bad and my ex broke up and hurt me deeply after promising that he would never ever do that than he left for no good reason. I wrote to him for many month , like 5 or 10 messages a day tryimg to explain what he meant to me and how sincere i meant everything. Now bevor the break up he would text me tons of messages, like how i gave him reason to live again, how he never loved soomeone lthis way. Now he has blocked me saying i stresst him to much by writing all the time, even though i startet only writing like 3 or less messages in a day. I explained that it was just hard for me. Its been a year doing all this, now he wrote me that he is sorry it came this far, but he cant deal with this and wants me to step out of his life. And wished me well. What happened, i been manifesting for month on end and visualizing and scripting and staying positiv but its got only worse. What do you think? Thank you for your help.
Greetings from Germamy
Hi Sabine, I'm sorry to hear about the breakup. I understand that you have done efforts to rebuild your connection with him. But given the recent situation and considering your ex's response, how would you like to move forward?
@@ClayAndrews not sure , do you think it's time to give up ? maybe the universes knows something i don't ans tries to protect me ?
@@ClayAndrews it still hurts but if its hope less than i guess i have no option but to give up ?
@@sabinefein383 It's better to put it that the universe is telling you that something needs healing and correction. You are pushing and forcing your thoughts, your feelings and it is causing stress to your ex.
You need to match where your ex is at emotionally. We can definitely help you out on this.
@@ClayAndrews that's really nice of you but unfortunately since i had to move back to germany i can not afford anything 😥😥😥
He says he is over me. Broke up 3 mounts ago. He did break up with me. When we broke up he told me i will miss some things of the relationship.
What does this mean?
Is or was he lying about missing things?
Maybe he will miss some things of the relationship. That doesn’t mean he wants to get back together or lying
What if I blocked him and he blocked me back?
When you are ready, unblock him and see which other means of communication are open for you to reach out to him.
She cheated me... But i requested her for to start a new relationship with me... She cant accept it.. says the same as u said in the video..
I am sorry to hear that. Cheating hurts a lot because this is about breaking trust. What's your plan so far?
@@ClayAndrews I want her back... I loved her most... She accepted the cheating... But couldnt agree to start a new beginning
my friend was texting my ex and she said i had issues and was messed up i don’t know what she means by that because i never did or acted in any way
At times, people would see something in us that we are not aware of. have you clarified the matter with her?
Clay Andrews not at all i’m assuming since she said issues and messed up it’s more of a mental thing and i never acted in a weird way that’s why i’m lost
Stretch she is lying full just about full books about me
Hi friends do you still your ex
Others can choose to remain friends with their ex, while there are those who can't. It all depends on your values and the standards you uphold.
My ex girlfriend talking shit about me after she
Has kid
kid with my friend after the psst
Smoking pot bru
My ex he said really rude and cruel things about me that I cheated on him when I never and then he puts 2 girls name in his bio and says he's a hater and jealous phycho and he did this before and he admit he did that to get me jealous but now he did it again and he keeps saying sorry but he never acts upon those words... what do I do ? I wanna be in good terms and friends but he clearly doesn't want that but he tries to make me jealous and I know it. But I know he doesn't have a gf because he alwyas changes the name every week or 2 😅 so yeah how do I be on good terms with him so I can move on? He doesn't really leave me alone .
He also brings the past up but he can't forget about it :|
That sounds challenging. You can always move forward by focusing on healing and setting boundaries with him.
What does his behaviour explain all this? He always say he gets over the top "mad" because he doesn't like me when guys talks to me ( as a friend) but he doesn't think like that XD I think that's the issue ... I don't know
I won hundred percent. I’m telling the universe. I will confront my ex, and I will tell his wife exactly what happened. I don’t care how many years ago it was people should know the truth whether or not they know they’ll hear it from me.
Interesting… I’m not interested in getting back with my ex wife We’ve both remarried. Like 10 years ago… I’m
In a great marriage! Love her dearly!!
But here is the thing… my ex posted online that she is happy to be married to the new guy.. like years into their marriage. That he shows her real love, finally. That for the first time in life she truly feels loved.
What’s the words unsaid? Her first husband horrible the marriage was bad.. he’d was not loving.
On speaking with her about this post… my surprise and frustration, she says, yes, you see not loving, you did bad things. I should have walked away early in our marriage. It’s like she doesn’t think of the positive… but then again, was I as bad and uncaring snd abusive as she said?
Now we’ve had good interactions. She’s sees that I’m a good dad. Maybe she sees that I’m not the person she justifies having divorced upon.
I dint know.. o just want to know, was I thst bad? Or was I just a guy that made mistakes like many guys do, but not the horrible guy that caused her to reach out to a long distance “just a friend”ship. While we were married? And then married him. Like I said.. I’m not interested in getting back with her… o just want to understand, is she darkening me to make her past choices in leaving me more acceptable… in fact praiseworthy.
This video brought me something to think about… thank you… in the meantime… I’ll keep on growing, and improving… not for her, but for my wife and kids and step kids, and life in general…