Tim, sorry for your loss. I found Camille the first week my husband passed, while sitting in bed doing that horrible 'take your breath away' crying. I grabbed my phone and typed in 'grief' on youtube. This video popped right up. As she talked I felt like I had a friend who understood, and I cried with her for her loss of Clint. I have shared this video with many people- not just widows and widowers- because Camille explains so well how the loss hits. Since most ppl don't understand how deeply the survivors are drenched in sorrow & grief, they don't know what to do to help. My husband was sick but not one time did we think he would pass- so when he bled out in hospital it was a huge shock. I asked myself why it had to be on Christmas Eve- our favorite? When I found Camille (and really I think Jesus led me to her) her videos comforted me. She's a huge blessing & beautiful soul! I hope you've found comfort as well, Tim! 🙏🏻💕
Perfectly said..... Hello, it's a pleasure to meet you. Please excuse my manner. If you find my message abusive, I'd love to be your friend and hope there's nothing wrong with that.
Well said! I became a widow almost 3 years ago and was married almost 57 years. If you have never lost a spouse you truly do not know just what we go through. Your video is spot on!
And people want to relate it to losing another family member or friend. They go into “oh, when I lost this person blah blah blah…” it is completely different. Sadly I’ve lost both of my parents and a couple siblings. I know it hurts. Trust me because I lost my father eight weeks after I lost my husband. But people always want to relate to their loss of a friend or family member it is so completely different when it’s the person that you live your life with Day in and day out and is your complete other half. It is not the same.
@@DJSuzieQ Well I’m really sorry about that okay 😒☹️and I know how it feels to be lonely without our love ones, we've all lost our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I understand how you feel but life must move on because death is inevitable no matter how hard we try! And we'll all have to face it someday, and every of our love ones we’ve lost will wanna see us happy anywhere they’re. I lost my oldest daughter Annabel on February 24th 2020 during the lockdown on a car accident, and she just turned 22 on her last birthday before she got knocked down by a moving vehicle 🚗 and so unluckily for me that horrible day the driver was drunk. That was the worst and most lamentable day of my life as a single Dad raising two kid's, my 17 years old son Clark and my 4 legged 🐶 families are my everything and the reason I still keep strong, and keep going! My late wife also passed away 3 years ago from a shocking disease, I felt deeply devastated with grief, and I was so heartbroken 💔 God and time are indeed the best healers. I'd love to talk to you more if you don't mind! So it would be nice to get a reply from you when you got time okay. 🌹🌹
Well I’m really sorry about that okay 😒☹️and I know how it feels to be lonely without our love ones, we've all lost our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I understand how you feel but life must move on because death is inevitable no matter how hard we try! And we'll all have to face it someday, and every of our love ones we’ve lost will wanna see us happy anywhere they’re.
My wife died after a brief illness … she was 28 and we were married 13 days short of 2 years. I was 26 and a senior in college (after the military) . A fellow student (20-ish) whose mom worked in the office of my wife’s neurosurgeon) frequently sought me out on campus to ‘help me’ by talking with me on the difficult time I was dealing with…. Before my wife died. What really bothered me was that she knew way more than she should have about my wife’s condition. This was in 1979… way before HIPPA. After my wife died during summer break, I saw her again on campus. She told me she was sorry about my wife’s death. Note, she was very attractive and almost immediately started flirting with me. I started avoiding her like the plague…. One day she said to me that she understood EXACTLY what I was going through because her aunt had died a few years before. That was the last time I talked with her.
Thank you so much for your supportive videos! OMG! You are right on!!! Been a widow for 2 years now. One of my main pet peeves is hearing people say that they “know” I’m lonely! I’m still living here alone because I want to! My husband was terminally ill and now I just enjoy the peace and quiet at home, reading, crocheting, prayer and meditation. Alone and lonely are two different things! Love to all my sister widows out there!!!! ❤️🙏🏻😊
@@Good-DaySunshine Yes! I get invites to go everywhere and have a "good time", mind you, I just lost my husband a few weeks ago. When I don't want to go, they think I'm wallowing or something. I want to be left alone a lot to process, but people don't understand. I feel judged a lot!
I am newly widowed all these silly people are so annoying. I learning as I go stay away from the ones I know who will say simple stuff. I just had a lady say to well you still have to live 😡
A well meaning friend came to the hospital the night my husband passed away and said God has another angel. I didn’t need him to be an angel. I needed him here with me.
I'm so sorry for your loss Alan. I do a grief course happinessadvocates.vipmembervault.com here's the link for all the details. Thinking of you my fellow widower warrior
I agree with everything you said !!! Lost my husband of 25 years to brain cancer after a 15 month battle in July 2018. I also found love again and I am engaged to a man who lost his wife of 28 years in 2017. We both have much love for them and talk about them often. They will always be in our hearts.😊
@@teresawaid6088 Well I’m really sorry about that okay 😒☹️and I know how it feels to be lonely without our love ones, we've all lost our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I understand how you feel but life must move on because death is inevitable no matter how hard we try! And we'll all have to face it someday, and every of our love ones we’ve lost will wanna see us happy anywhere they’re. I lost my oldest daughter Annabel on February 24th 2020 during the lockdown on a car accident, and she just turned 22 on her last birthday before she got knocked down by a moving vehicle 🚗 and so unluckily for me that horrible day the driver was drunk. That was the worst and most lamentable day of my life as a single Dad raising two kid's, my 17 years old son Clark and my 4 legged 🐶 families are my everything and the reason I still keep strong, and keep going! My late wife also passed away 3 years ago from a shocking disease, I felt deeply devastated with grief, and I was so heartbroken 💔 God and time are indeed the best healers. I'd love to talk to you more if you don't mind! So it would be nice to get a reply from you when you got time okay. 🌹🌹
Im a Widow ,i hate people when they tell me , You'll be OK it takes time. 😮 Or they will say... You're too sensitive.😔 You look young , you'll find someone. 😮 Im so lonely and sad and people are so cruel. Im never going to get married. Im 67 and men are so set in their ways, especially the divorced men are terrible, so i decided to just focus on myself. And i love to dance and hike and I'll do whatever i please. Im so sorry you lost your husband, I know what your going through, be good to yourself and love you and your children. Be kind to yourself too. God Bless you 🕊️❤️
The one thing I would add is, “Do not compare being a widow to being a divorcée!” My sister constantly did this. Her ex was an abusive husband. It was a good thing in her life to get away from her ex-husband. She couldn’t stand her ex in the end. My husband was a very loving partner who died suddenly and unexpectedly after 25 years of being quite happily married. He was only 52. In addition to missing the feel of his hugs, the comforting feel of a man’s strong arms around me, I missed so much being able to talk to him. He was the smartest man I knew. Every time my sister would act like she understood what I was going through, I would always think, “You could pick up the phone any time and talk to your ex; hear his voice. I never can hear my husband’s voice again!”
I agree! Divorce is a decision: becoming a widow is not. I stopped texting with a guy on a dating app because he insisted that the pain is the same. He had been divorced three times! At least a widow/widower has established that they can maintain a long-term, committed relationship. A divorcee’ cannot.
My trigger is when people try to encourage me to date again saying the “he would want you to be happy!” To me it sounds like giving myself an excuse to do what I want. We were soulmates. We made a covenant. When I see him again in Heaven, I don’t want to have to explain my selfishness.
In response to what I said above: I understand if you are a young woman and have your whole life ahead of you. In my case, I was married 40 years. I understand there is a difference. I’m so glad that she was able to establish a new life for herself.
Totally agree with what you said. I became a widow at the age of 24 in 1980 with 2 toddlers. My husband died unexpectedly so no time to prepare. Death was new to me so I had on the job training. Everyone came around until the funeral was over and then I was treated like a leper. Married people were afraid I would take their spouse, Single people were afraid of me because people don't like "death" or dealing with someone who has lost their mate because they don't know what to say or do. Didn't fit in with the old people who lost their spouse because I had little ones and they were beyond all that. People would say, "If you need anything let me know." I did and couldn't get their help when needed. So for me, I felt abandon by my church family, my own family, and so I learned to deal with things on my own. Regarding my feelings, people didn't want to know probably because they didn't want to deal with it. People really have no idea unless they have lost a spouse. Death is hard to deal with, I get it. Compassion should be in all our hearts. I have also been divorced from my second husband,. Total silence from everyone I know. So I carry on. I thank God that He has been with me thru all of my life. Wouldn't have made it otherwise. I am so glad you have Jesus to lean on, and a new husband that has been thru the same thing. Understanding goes a long way in dealing with grief. God bless you and your family.
Yes, totally agree. I feel so embarrased asking for help. They make me feel as if I am gonna take their husbands just because I need their help. I remember in the bible how it says Jesus asked for the people to take care of widows. Sad even to this date people dont consider us. But God always gives us strength. 🙏🙏
@@gabrielaguerrero6349 Well I’m really sorry about that okay 😒☹️and I know how it feels to be lonely without our love ones, we've all lost our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I understand how you feel but life must move on because death is inevitable no matter how hard we try! And we'll all have to face it someday, and every of our love ones we’ve lost will wanna see us happy anywhere they’re.
I love the down to earth advice! I lost my wife of 28 years about 3 years ago. I couldn’t agree more with everything you’ve said. Thank you for sharing and I hear your pain. May God bless you and keep you and hold you in his hands.
@@insilence6156 they are terrified of having to live through what we are experiencing. To ignore us allows them to avoid thinking that one day...our pain could be theirs. (Can't really blame them. Confound them with resilience!)
Bless you for making this video. I just lost my husband of 24 years, on April 24th. He'd been diagnosed with colon cancer in October, and he refused to even see an oncologist. He'd said after seeing what his dad went through with stomach cancer and chemo, and his mother with breast cancer and chemo, that he just wanted his life to run its course naturally. I was enraged at that. I spent, or in hindsight, wasted.. weeks nagging at him, begging and pleading with him to go if I make an appointment. He wouldn't budge. I was his caretaker the whole six months. I watched him go from well over 200lbs to 90lbs. I am all over the place emotionally now. One minute the grief seems like it will never lift, and I find myself sitting on the side of the bed, smelling his pillow and crying till my head throbs. Other times I scream at him, and God. Other times, I feel a tiny bit of relief at not having to get up 2-3 times a night to change and wash bed linens because his ostomy bag leaked, yet again, because there were no smaller sizes for his shrinking frame. Then of course comes the guilt that eats away at me. So, thank you for making this video. I am so very grateful.
Oh my word. My story almost to a point. Wish I knew how to contact you. Just know that you did best for him & being there til end meant more to him than you will ever know. Sending you much love & strength from Cape Town SA.
I can relate to this comment so well. My husband had a rare form of leukemia and went from 175 down to 90 lbs and it was absolutely heartbreaking, scary, and everything else. I was his primary caregiver, and I had to watch him die and I lived out my nightmare. So difficult. He passed away just a few weeks ago. It's so hard.
@@SarahLynnLee please accept my sympathy for your loss. The time you're going through now is the most difficult time anyone can go through. Please know that it really isn't a cliche that it gets easier with time. It does. I hope it's okay to say this, but the thing that eases my tears, temporarily, is to remember the times we argued. Sounds weird to say that after someone is gone, but it worked for me. I got this suggestion from a widow group at my church called Ruth's circle. To think of the bad times when sobbing and the pain is unbearable and it did work a bit. i am sharing in case that may help you. Again, I apologize if it sounds mean or strange. It's hard to gauge what you should say to someone online because we can't see someone's demeanor, facial expressions. But I share that with widows now. I really hope it helps a bit. It's a temporary fix but helped me stop sobbing to the point my head hurt. Thank you for your comment. Hugs
@@cheryl1205 Thank you so much for your thoughtful reply. Yesterday was probably the hardest day so far for me (not sure why). I tried your technique to think about the arguments we had and it does help some. Sometimes when loved ones pass we tend to think of only the good times, which makes this whole process so much harder. My Vic wasn't perfect and I should have balance in my memories. This is by far the most difficult experience of my life. Praying to God for strength and courage to move forward and for the pain to lessen. Again, thank you so much. Only widows understand what we go through. I may look for a support group myself to join to help get through this. 💔❤
Thank you for this. I am 70 and lots of my girlfriends are becoming widows, so you have helped me understand in some way how they feel. It is a real journey. The other person is always with you. I am just starting to date a widower who was married 44 years so he will carry her with him all the time, and I am fine with that.
I dated a widower who also was married 44 years and he started dating within 6 weeks of her passing. Told me the grieving was done while she was dying. I believes him, fell hard for him and moved part time to Florida with him. After 3 months there his adult son came to visit with his family and I was KICKED OUT of the condo I was living in with him. The most horrific thing that's ever happened to me. He was 68 at the time. I was 65. Needless to say it ended shortly thereafter. It's been 2.5 years and I am still grieving that loss. Beware of widowers that move on too soon. His and his families feelings were way more important than mine. I'm completely gutted and he's moved on with someone else. I honestly wish he had died on me than live with the pain of his horrific actions. Best of luck to you.
Just found your video. Your experience is relatable. Six months past and no one visits, calls, texts let alone offer help. Still receiving grief counseling, triggered, shaking and overwhelmed.
God bless you, I lost my wife coming up on 2 years and struggle every day, your so right about nobody being around after the funeral, I’m glad I found this video, thank you, stay strong!
My wifes entire family could not get out of town fast enough after the funeral breakfast I had for them. Many slipped out as I was settling the bill- no good byes! They dont even call- they knew me for 44 years and was married to their sister 38- never any issues. It was very disappointing now over 2 years later-I could care less and they can keep their holiday phones texts of Happy this or Merry that!
you.are so right.what.you say..so sad to see you.cry .yes people say some.things.itsvso upsetting..when they still have...there husband's...like.ofbhim in another room..my sister said....we do not want tears..in the family .be strong...they will.only..know..if..it.happensbto.them...its been six years..since my husband.died..still..miss.him.and.its so.lonely...i went to.live in another.coutry..and.still.try to..to.mend a broken heart..but I suppose it will never mend...but I go.on seeing good.things..birds sun sky and sea...but I have.leart ..suffer..alone...and have.faith...
@@annesimpson7501 Well I’m really sorry about that okay 😒☹️and I know how it feels to be lonely without our love ones, we've all lost our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I understand how you feel but life must move on because death is inevitable no matter how hard we try! And we'll all have to face it someday, and every of our love ones we’ve lost will wanna see us happy anywhere they’re. I lost my oldest daughter Annabel on February 24th 2020 during the lockdown on a car accident, and she just turned 22 on her last birthday before she got knocked down by a moving vehicle 🚗 and so unluckily for me that horrible day the driver was drunk. That was the worst and most lamentable day of my life as a single Dad raising two kid's, my 17 years old son Clark and my 4 legged 🐶 families are my everything and the reason I still keep strong, and keep going! My late wife also passed away 3 years ago from a shocking disease, I felt deeply devastated with grief, and I was so heartbroken 💔 God and time are indeed the best healers. I'd love to talk to you more if you don't mind! So it would be nice to get a reply from you when you got time okay. 🌹🌹
The absolute worst for me was when a friend told me “It’s probably for the best.” So my husbands death was the best thing that could happen? However an eight year old neighbor child just sat and cried with me and gave me a huge hug. Guess who I respected more?
This video is wonderful. I lost my sweet wife exactly 3 months ago to ovarian cancer. I am a deacon in the Catholic Church and so I cannot remarry (not that I'd want to), but I, too, sometimes feel judged and what you've said makes so much sense. Thank you for letting me know there are many of us out there and we are not alone. Praise God for your ministry!
@@KamilleBauer Thank you SO much, Kamille! I also send prayers your way, sweet friend. God's Blessing be upon you and may your precious spouse always pray for and watch over you.
I'm a widow writing under my husband's name. I lost him three months ago to covid. It's been the hardest thing I've ever gone through. If anyone ever judges me for the how I'm handling my grief, I will tell them to walk a mile in my shoes first. Until you go through this, there's no way to understand what it's like.
Being a widow is hard even for those of us older. Thank you for giving people ideas on how to make it a little easier. A little thought and kindness go a long way! Next time I hear about someone comparing their dog dying to having a spouse die............ It happens and even worse. Just think next time. We have all said stupid things but we can do better.
God. Truth. If another person compares my pain of losing my soulmate to losing a pet... I will punch them. I have lost dozens of pets in the past... NOTHING compares to losing a spouse. NOTHING.
YES ! all these things are so true! I lost my husband 6 months ago and NO ONE knows what we go through unless you have been in our shoes. Thank you for your honesty!!
Everything you said was so true. My husband was killed in an accident so very unexpected. This was 17 months ago. After living with him for 35 years I don't know what to do. I thought I wanted to date but when I went out for coffee with someone all I could think about was my husband. When I got home I cried for about 2 hours. I would add that a family member told me that I just needed "to get over it" only a few weeks after my husband's death. Also when I went to move having family try to tell me what I could and could not keep. That's my decision. Maybe I will keep some things forever and some I will probably let go of eventually. Either way, that is my decision.
God bless you . I’ve just become a widower and videos like your help so much because only other widows will ever understand what battles are raging in our minds . Thankyou again
I just came across your video. I am so very sorry for your loss. You gave very powerful information in this video for all of us that maybe a friend to someone who has lost a loved one. I worked with hospice and in medical field and I saw the heartache and the friends that after the funeral stayed a way and so many other things that you shared in this video. Grief has no time frame, our lives are changed forever when a loved one dies. Thank you for doing this video.
As a widow of 2.6 years I get a lot of "I know...I lost my sister or mother or "insert" family member here! GRRRR It is NOT the same!!! I'm SICK of it! Did you vow and have dreams to spend the rest of your life daily with them? Did you sleep with them? They THINK they are relating but it only hurts more. I swear next time I'm going to ask them "so tell me all about your widowhood! How is it not waking up without your spouse in the same bed anymore?" Great video. I cried when you did. Triggers are almost daily for me. Thank you. So sorry for your loss.
Kamille You have voiced the thoughts and feelings of so many of us who have lost our spouses. Unlike you I am not young. I was married to the most beautiful, wonderful woman for 30 years until she lost her battle with metastatic breast cancer 5 months ago. I watched her go through hell for 2 years and was at her side when the ventilator tube was removed. I will not describe that horrific scene but it shook me to the core. I was holding her hand several hours later when she went to heaven. I have no good days…only bad days and days that aren’t “too bad”. Luckily I have 3 adult children who have been a wonderful support to me even as they deal with their own grief. I have not had anyone say any insensitive or foolish remarks to me so in that I have been blessed. I turned 61 six days after she passed away but I felt 91. Over the months that followed things are slowly getting a little better and it truly is one day at a time. One last thing. Although I don’t have a desire to date…I found my that my wedding ring (which I always loved to wear) had become a constant reminder, not of our long and beautiful marriage, but of all (and who) I had lost. It sits now in a drawer. God bless you and your family ❤️
My wife passed away last month. We were married for 42 years. I watched several of your videos yesterday and have found them very helpful in dealing with my grief. Thank you.
You are amazing!! Thank you for starting these thoughts so clearly! These thoughts are spot on for parents who have lost children too. You are so spot on!! Thank you. 😢i am so sorry for your loss. My heart aches with you.
Thank you.❤. I lost my husband just 2 months and 3 days ago and so much of what you said just ... touched me. I am sitting here and empathize so much, especially when you were crying. I started crying right along with you because I feel the same pain. Jesus has helped me too, especially when I am feeling the most worst pain and I cry out to Him. I started calming down and feeling safer and more at peace. And the pain really does lessen. May Our Heavenly Father bless us both. I am glad that you have been able to also find some joy even though you still miss your first husband.
The biggest act of love I ever experienced was when my dying spouse told me to find someone but make sure she liked animals. My haste into filling that hole of dispair led me into a relationship, from a grief group encounter, with a discerned borderline. It delayed a proper timeline of grieving & complicated it with adding the added mental anguish of a disordered person. Peace & love to you, new family, & thanks for getting this message out.
Comment I hate.... “You are doing so well!”. Actually, you don’t know how I am doing! Middle of the night, random times during the day... you know I am doing ok (not good), sometimes. But, you don’t know when I am not, because I usually hide it.
You have been A-MAZ-ing! Widowhood is way harder than anyone ever imagines. The reality is nothing like the imagining. I have been a widow for 18months. My husband died after a six year battle with prostate cancer. You can say all you want about what you would do if it happens to you but until you’ve been there you just don’t know. So I agree that unless you are a widow it’s best to keep your mouth shut and do all the loving, kind, and helpful things you can think of. Widows don’t have energy to reach out, they need you to care enough to reach in. My heart aches for you and your new husband and your kids. Whatever happiness you find together does not diminish the love and heart ache you will always feel for your lost spouses. Nothing will replace them but God has added to your lives this new marriage and family I wish you all the best and Gods continued blessing and help as you struggle on through this widow journey.
Well I’m really sorry about that okay 😒☹️and I know how it feels to be lonely without our love ones, we've all lost our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I understand how you feel but life must move on because death is inevitable no matter how hard we try! And we'll all have to face it someday, and every of our love ones we’ve lost will wanna see us happy anywhere they’re.
I lost my wife of 42 years this January.. Thank God no one said those things to me.. Four of her girl friends thanked me for being a good husband to her..which surprised me.. I miss her so much and just stay home, alone, with me memories.. Life just sucks right now. Thank you for your post and I can relate to much of it. God Bless.
Good video, thank you. Please don’t tell a widow/widower, “I know how you feel because my grandmother/cousin/dog died.” And people do forget after a while. I’m never called anymore.
My Greg and I were married over 20 years. He was 58. After saving my life less than a year prior, he had a sudden stroke 9 months ago. Because of covid, he died alone, as the hospital refused to let me be with him (although we were both covid free). I will never get over that. His family has seemed to begin to feel that I am no longer part of the family. No visits, no invites, no calls. This shocks me as well as our kids and grandkids who shared their lives too. It hurts. If one of his siblings had a spouse who died, the one remaining would be family for the rest of their life in my opinion (and my husband felt that way too), so I don't understand. God bless you and your new combined family. Thanks for the spot on video. Sadly I have also lost my younger brother, a 1st cousin and my son in the last 6 months. Came close to losing a daughter, granddaughter and another brother as well. I am glad I found this video.
I don't think anyone should ever be saying to anyone " i know how you feel" in the face of a recent loss. Because , even if you have lost the same person they lost( aka, if they are a widow and you are one, or if you both lost a parent or a child , etc). Because, grief and loss is a very different and personal experience for each person, so even if you suffered the same type of loss, your experiences about it, the way you deal with it and how you feel, can be completely different because many things can affect that.
@@wandagreer9144 Well I’m really sorry about that okay 😒☹️and I know how it feels to be lonely without our love ones, we've all lost our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I understand how you feel but life must move on because death is inevitable no matter how hard we try! And we'll all have to face it someday, and every of our love ones we’ve lost will wanna see us happy anywhere they’re.
Wooo Hooooo, I agree with you 10000 percent!!!!! Everything you said is totally true. I hate the judging, haven't you moved on by now and God puts no more on you than you can bare, yes He does so you can rely on him for help. #We still love them!!!! # Love don't die!!!! You are so right about the Lord too, I know I wouldn't have made it this far without Him
I lost the love of my life,dad to our twin boys and he was my pastor....I'm in pieces....my heart aches..we married when I was 16 he was 17 God blessed us with our boys when I was 22 he was 24...married for 35 and half years.....he went home to be with our Lord December 6th 2018...this is so hard and yes everyone moves on and we get left behind...our church family is heart broke. Remember Faith Baptist church....It's hard going from a Pastors wife to not is so hard....he was LOVE OF MY LIFE.....GOD will see me through but I cry everyday.....I miss him so bad and so many emotions..pray for me and my boys....so hard .....he was only 53 years old.....thought we would grow old together..my heart will always belong to my true LOVE....
Thank you for presenting this topic. I lost my husband to cancer in 11-17-2017. I was diagnosed two weeks before he died with colon cancer but I am two years cancer free. I lost my mother unexpectedly the next year, and my sister this last October unexpectedly. I am trying to figure out life right now. I will keep you in my prayers from Mississippi
Well I’m really sorry about that okay 😒☹️and I know how it feels to be lonely without our love ones, we've all lost our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I understand how you feel but life must move on because death is inevitable no matter how hard we try! And we'll all have to face it someday, and every of our love ones we’ve lost will wanna see us happy anywhere they’re.
@@beckyhoffman9423 I lost my oldest daughter Annabel on February 24th 2020 during the lockdown on a car accident, and she just turned 22 on her last birthday before she got knocked down by a moving vehicle 🚗 and so unluckily for me that horrible day the driver was drunk. That was the worst and most lamentable day of my life as a single Dad raising two kid's, my 17 years old son Clark and my 4 legged 🐶 families are my everything and the reason I still keep strong, and keep going! My late wife also passed away 3 years ago from a shocking disease, I felt deeply devastated with grief, and I was so heartbroken 💔 God and time are indeed the best healers. I'd love to talk to you more if you don't mind! 🌹🌹
If you cry all the time, people comment “wow, she’s a mess”; if you smile or laugh in public, they say “she is doing good, she’s really moving on”. I discovered that no matter what I did, people were talking- they did not see me in my private moments. Basically, a widow is living everyone’s biggest fear of losing their mate, so people are just watching constantly..... they say stupid stuff, they avoid you, they hover over you.....so much weird stuff- I found those who said “I’m praying for you” was the thing that did not offend me
True. It was all my friends prayers that have held me up so far. I try to keep putting everything in perspective when a new problem or difficulty comes up with all the logistical stuff of losing your spouse. Insurance, selling the house, paying bills, his phone still getting calls, they all can weigh me down by reminding me of the loss not only of the person but also the life I shared with him. We are grieving the loss of so many aspects of our life with that person. Just take it 24 hours at a time and even if you crawl into your bed at night you made it to the end of that day in one piece. God bless you and send you peace.
People have no idea what to do sometimes and it's so comical after awhile I found myself shaking my head and then adding it my mental 'Did they really just say that?" List.
Dear Heart; this video is two years old, but I feel your sincerity in this video. Thank you for the suggestions. The heart is deep and wide and rich, and your tears are nuggets of gold from the heart. I love your prayer at the end. May God continue to bless and keep you and your grand family.
Perfectly said..... Hello, it's a pleasure to meet you. Please excuse my manner. If you find my message abusive, I'd love to be your friend and hope there's nothing wrong with that.
Good points. I'm a 42 year old widower with Multiple Sclerosis. I list my wife about 8 months ago. I've noticed being a widower and having MS have a lot of parallels. People don't know what to say in either case.
Hello I’m a widower that is coming up on my 1year of being by alone. I find myself tearing up every time that you get emotional b/c I can feel and understand your pain. I can’t agree more about being forgotten by friends b/c their life goes on as normal. All I know is this is not how it was supposed to be it sucks!!! Thanks for the video glad you found someone
You’re an amazing person. Thank you so much for sharing. I’m a recent widower. I understand everything you’re going through and I can’t thank you enough for sharing.
The day after my husband's memorial service at our church I sat on a bench that I always sat on and people came by and said a lot of those cliches but the one thing that helped me the most was when my pastor's wife walked up to me and just hug me and said nothing. The hug said everything. I learned through my experience at the beginning to tell people I was sorry for their loss. After my husband's passing I had a journal that I wrote in everyday my thoughts my emotions and even writing to him. From then on everybody I knew that lost someone I bought them a journal and just gave it to them if they felt like they needed to write something. I had several people to tell me that was better than flowers. I think people apps that give you the Bible cliches are just really trying to help so I take it as that and on down the road when I've been down my journey further I remember what they said and receive it then.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I know now you feel. I have a grief group program that starts it's next round this coming tuesday. Here's the link - I know it will help you through the holidays. Love and prayers sending your way. happinessadvocates.vipmembervault.com/products/courses/view/1054198
So sorry for your loss.....it does get easier, but takes a while, and everyone is different as to how long. So advice is to listen to yourself, not others rushing you in the grieving process. Bless you.
I found this today, recent widow. Spouse had emergency surgery in Dec 2019, given 6 months to live and got the news on New Year's eve. Made it to March 2020, he also had early stage dementia. I am so lost, watched your videos. Thank you!
I'm so sorry for your heartache and loss. It really is the worst thing imaginable to loss a spouse. It is like you are now living in a horrible, alternate reality. Keep pushing forward. He would want you to live your life and try to do things that make you smile. 🌟 I know widowhood is lonely but you are not alone♥️💔
My beloved wife of 25 years passed away 3 & 1/2 years ago after a long battle with Type 2 Diabetes. I agree with your comment about home cleaning services. I have been operating professionally for over 20 years and donate my services to help my friends with grief, loss and illness. I admire your spirit. My wife told me to date also but I find it difficult to do. Few people truly understand this side of grief that the spouse who is left behind deals with. Thank you for your sharing. Shalom
I'm 74. I've been a widow for 2 + years. I was in tears with you during this video. I've had counselling, joined and left grief groups. This is hands down the best conversation about grief I've listened to. Thank you. The word "loss", completely undoes me. I haven't lost my husband. He's not a handbag or a set of keys. He's dead and I know exactly where he is and where he's not. Blessings to you and your children, in every way.❤
Perfectly said..... Hello, it's a pleasure to meet you. Please excuse my manner. If you find my message abusive, I'd love to be your friend and hope there's nothing wrong with that.
Perfectly said..... Hello, it's a pleasure to meet you. Please excuse my manner. If you find my message abusive, I'd love to be your friend and hope there's nothing wrong with that.
As a recent widower, I can understand just how hard it was for you to make this video. Very glad you have chosen to honor your late husband by choosing to be happy and love another person. That is exactly what my late wife told me to do. Thank you for having the courage and strength to make and share this video.
My husband of 50yrs. had passed away. Two weeks later my friend stopped by. I was doing what I did every day, crying. She looked at me and said “aren't you over him yet, he's gone and he's never coming back”. Yep, that's what she said. People don't understand and won't, not until they lose their spouse. If you want to do anything for a friend, sit beside them, call them and let them cry. You don't even need to say a word.
SERIOUSLY?! I'm not surprised. Some people are clueless and words can be so astonishing and incredulous. Your advice is spot on! Thinking if you widow Warrior♥️
Oh that’s awful. Maybe reason I haven’t been around my friends. Oh I remember what my friend said to me, you may find someone else again, but you won’t get married. 😳
My twin sister called me five weeks after my husband died... I was crying when I answered her call. She asked me what was I crying about this time. I said I was very sad my husband was dead...she replied in a nasty condescending tone. Everything isn’t always about you we all lost someone that day. Time for me to buck up and move on and stop being selfish. I did not have any family members to actually help me with any of the funeral arrangements, they were “busy”.
I just say thank you! You have helped me in so many ways. The dark cloud that has been hovering over me is starting to lift after 6 months. I miss my Husband and talking to and about him, remembering the many good memories we made together, and asking God to help move foward and cope with grief I feel is what I do. God has always been good to me. I trust Him with all my heart. Praying for you and all the widows and widowers and myself.
I absolutely Love this Woman's attitude. Very Special Person. I lost my Wife 10 Months ago - She was a Young Beautiful 44 Year Old - my Life has been Shattered.
What a wonderful video. I lost my husband 2 months ago to ALS and you are right, after the first weeks have passed it sometimes gets very lonely bc people move on which is of course ok for them. I now get the "we have to call the widow" calls from my husband's relatives on a regular schedule. I hate them bc I have to listen to all the fun activities they are having and have to tell them I am ok. The meal services are fab. My closest friends gave that to me for almost 2 weeks. I hate the stereotypes especially when they tell me it happened for a reason and he is now in heaven with Jesus. Thank you for sharing this. It really helped me to hear that from another widow.
Thank you for this video! My husband die after 3 years battling cancer, I feel so confuse and lost, don’t want people telling me bs or omg he is not longer here poor you .. please! Is not fair, 😣💔
Every day i watch the road...saw her two times. She smiled but could not stay. The river is right outside every window. I watch every day for her return. Then we'll walk together to that river...i can see it everyday. This is her place...she just can't stay. One day she will meet me at this river. I cannot leave, without her. This is a beautiful place. Fourteen years is not forever. Wrote a song about it...
@@KamilleBauer just got back to the house...been at the river. Got fresh catfish for a late supper! Its so nice to live beside this river... I have seen things to wonderful to convey in words. I will send the song, shortly. It isn't worth a dime if i can't share it with someone else. Gotta fix up some vittles now... Will get back to ya after...😊 thanks...
Love you for making this. Widower here and yeah you get it. 40 and this is hard and no one gets it. Whenever I see something about widows/widowers from the survivors perspective we know and others just don't. No one else should know how this feels and I hope they don't. Thank you.
I am a widower. I'm seeing this video is four years old. I wanted to send positive energy now hoping you are in a place of acceptance. I can't imagine all the comments you got. I understand some of the comments but only admit to only a few. I am so sorry they did that to you. After four years I'm hoping you are happy. Positive thoughts to you and positive emotions. I understand only to a limit. The rest of the pain is yours and you have my empathy. Bless you.
Before my husband passed away, we were invited to a lot of families for dinner and fun, after we're invited to only one home and these were all church families! Yes the Lord looked after me and my kids.
Oh wow so much of what you said is so true. So many friends just disappeared after my husband died. That was really painful and when I found a new partner people were so judgmental that I began to be afraid to tell people. What is misunderstood is that for some of us we have anticipatory grief. My husband was sick for 3 years and it wasn’t fun. It was a living nightmare. So I wanted to see the sun again and laugh and clean up the storm I went through with my daughter. I will always love and miss my husband but I know I’ll see him again and I can’t bring him back. I have to live again and make life beautiful for my daughter. So I have just gotten to the point that people’s opinions of me is their business not mine. And who cares, right?! There’s always more people to care for and love to give that will love us back for our strong spirit. My hats off to all the widows, carry on with your face in the sun!
I hate the term Widow . I’m basically the same person as before my husband passed. My life will never be the same without him but I’m still me . Judgement is just what you need when your life has changed forever. Thanks for posting
I have a friend whose sisters both lost their husbands and they cannot move on. She told me last week that they are both devastated and absolutely cannot get over it. I’m not sure about the second one but the first sister literally lost her husband a week before my friends wedding. That was in 2007. It’s terribly sad that they cannot quit grieving but I cannot say that they should. That’s their life like you said
It's so extremely personal - grief. It never ends. I love the quote by David Kessler "How long will you grieve? How long will they be dead?" It's almost 6 years for me and my three kids but grief is always there. Birthdays, basketball games, hard days. It's unexplainable unless you've experienced it.
I'm not sure I understand, I'm sorry for your loss, or just I'm sorry? I've done both but I've also simply said "you're in our prayers'. Usually the simpler the better.
@@babycakes1402 ...I didn't want people to say that they were sorry for what they had nothing to do with; it sounds nice but it's shallow. If a person has not been widowed yet...maybe they could say, "When my time comes to go through what you have, I hope I can be as strong."
@@peggyharris3815That actually makes sense, I've just been pre-programed for the simple 'I'm sorry/I'm sorry for your loss', I'm also leaning toward the 'You're in our prayers.'
I was married for 34 years and lost my husband 11 years ago...still miss him every day. He was my best friend who was so I'll for so long it was a relief when he passed. All I do is take it a day at a time. If I should find someone, then it is great and meant to be...if not, I will carry on by myself doing my best to be happy.
You are right on track. I lost my husband 6 months ago he was very sick and as someone mentioned I am enjoying the peace and quiet and learning to enjoy each day. I loved my husband and he loved me so each day I am learning to move forward and to laugh again. Thank you for your video. ❤❤❤. I have had to teach my sisters to not say they know what I am going through but each still have their spouses so I had to say you can’t relate to this particular loss. Now I can visit and they no longer say I know what you are going through. I could go in but life is no longer upside down I am moving forward. Take care
Such a great video! It made me cry. My wife passed away just a month ago. I know she would want me to be happy. She told her friends to pray that I have a good life after she was gone. I will be ok.
Soo sorry for your loss. I'm grateful for your prayer. With her help from above you WILL have a good life - different but good. You are not alone even though you're lonely. God has helped soften the sting but still almost 6 years later my kids and I wish for him to be here.
OMG this hits the nail on the head! I need to make a video with some of the comments that have been made to me since I lost my husband last year. The Widows club is one that only we can understand and relate to. Its the worst rollercoaster ride imaginable!
This video ripped my heart out. My wife of 42 years passed away last October. I have had all of these statements said to me. They mean well, but they can’t comprehend my loss.
Thank you! Excellent video. NO, everything does not happen for a reason, things happen due to causes. Can't even describe what it is to be widowed for me. YES, everyone is different and should be respected for what they decide is right for them. PS One last, "don't,": Don't hit on us. That, "I understand your loneliness," early on is creepy, sad, hostile and indefensibly intrusive. Show some decency and respect for the deceased spouse and the widow/widower.
I love this video...it is hard to know what to know or say, but I love the cleaning service idea especially. You are such a beautiful example of Christ's love. Thanks for this heartfelt message to all of us! Lots of love and prayers to you, Cody and all the kids. The kids are so lucky to have you sweetie ❤️
Sorry to hear that. My heart goes out to you - especially this holiday season. I have a grief program that starts again this coming tuesday. Here's the link happinessadvocates.vipmembervault.com/products/courses/view/1054198
Katrina as it happens I can honestly say I do know what your going but yes I hate when people say that too when they don't know , but I lost my husband to COVID too Jan. 13th. and I am 62 yrs. old so even when your older it's still just as hard at any age , I'm so sorry for your loss , for me it was worse I think because we both had it and I couldn't even go to hosp. to say goodbye, some people have told me , well at least you got to say goodbye thru facetime ,NO it seems like it made it worse for me, I missed holding on to him we were married for 43 yrs. I'm sorry for ranting on to a stranger but sometimes it helps me.
I'm sorry for all your losses. I lost my wife 5 years ago at age 37. It's still hard to be happy and future thinking. I feel frozen in time. I'm not dating or interested in dating. If you feel stuck you're not alone. If you feel like moving forward I 100% support you. I will be praying for all of you.
@@conniehuddleston6870 I lost my wife-she was 62-me 64. I think losing your spouse after you both worked so hard and now you enter your "payback years" you have earned and to have them ripped out of your hands is really tough! You look forward to those years now as its "your turn". We got 2 months of retirement before she passed and out hourglass ran out-while we were expecting 10-15-20-why not isnt that the norm? But evil hiding cancer had other ideas! So now after all that work you sit alone and the anticipated trips are gone-the vacations as well. Its never a good time for anyone but in your 60s you really lose it all when you had so much to go. You have my sympathy and condolences.
I lost my husband 12 days ago to Covid. He was 34 years old and my true love in life. Now I am all alone with our two years old twin daughters. I dont know what to think, how to move forward now...without him every day, every moment seems impossible. We had our whole future planned so beautifully and now every dream we ever saw together is just gone. This wasnt supposed to happen. I didnt deserve this. He was my forever...and now I am alone forever. I cannot move ahead like this.
Gosh, you are so sweet and said all the right things, exactly! Im a widower at age 59, and lost my sweet love a little over a year ago. That judgement thing is real and didn't even occur to me until you talked about it. God bless you!
You will see him in heaven. I finally started telling people I hope that makes you feel better, because it does not help me at all. And the “I could never date” when they are happily married.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS! (Sorry this is long) I lost my husband of 32 years three years ago in October of 2017 to a freak accident. He was 55 and in excellent health and because of that, he saved 4 other peoples lives through his gifts of his beautiful heart, liver and kidneys. It helps me knowing that but it doesn't make it any easier. I reached out to an old friend (after becoming quite lonely at the 2 year death anniversary) to have someone to talk to and it has since turned into a long distance romantic friendship. He was my high school sweet heart and had been divorced for 15 years. I didn't once think it would turn into anything other than a friendship because the thought of dating another man made me sick. I went back and forth on pulling away and pulling close to him. I do feel judged and I don't want to feel sad anymore and he also understands that (technically for now) it's a threesome as I will never forget my husband. May God bless you and all us widows young and old alike.
I'm so sorry for your Loss. I'm proud of you for navigating and moving forward. Your previous spouse would want you to be happy and find more love. It doesn't replace and never will. Only adds more love. Thinking of you - widow warrior!💕💪🏾
I cannot thank you enough for this . I’m a widow of five years. My friends won’t leave me alone about dating! I have nothing to give , I don’t want another man . Period. I feel disrespected and misunderstood. I lean on Jesus every second. Thank you, thank you , bless you .
A lot of what you have talked about rings so true for me as a relatively new widow. So, Thank you Sweetheart & just know I give you my deepest sympathy for your loss. God Bless🙏❤️
You are right on track. I lost my husband 6 months ago he was very sick and as someone mentioned I am enjoying the peace and quiet and learning to enjoy each day. I loved my husband and he loved me so each day I am learning to move forward and to laugh again. Thank you for your video. ❤❤❤
A close friend lost her husband of forty plus years, and the comment she told me that was said most often to her, and that would upset her, was, "l know how you feel!" No, you don't, your husband is still living! People do Care, but as much as we care, we Need to Think before we say something that could be more harmful than not. Thank you for educating everyone by taking the time to put your thoughts out, it's really needed. I'm sorry for your loss, l know that it is undying love that helps with this personal loss.
I lost my wife in 2021 to covid. We were married when she was 21 and I was 23. I'm 67 now and it's getting easier most days but I'm still healing. I live alone on a ranch so there's always something to do and that also helps. We are both Christians so I will see her again someday when my times up.
I’m a widow with seven kids. My hubby’s been gone for three years. It’s hard to greave with this much responsibility. Just cause your strong didn’t mean you not hurting.
Thank you. I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my darling husband of 33 years marriage, 2 years ago. I have no kids. My friends who are widows are the only ones who understand. My family were around for a few months, but then left me. You are so brave. I admire you so much. I send you love and blessings. Jesus and his Angels help me too. 💚💙💜🙏🙏🙏
I feel your feeling .. I like u really alone life very hard I love u so so much i need u I make u so so happy every time I love kids well u make my kids 👪👪👪💍💍💍😍😍😍❤❤❤🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🙋🙋
I agree-sadly no one knows what to tell you. Omg I’m so tired of hearing “you’re strong”and you get over. I know loved ones want to help, but omg just text and say “hi I’m thinking of you”. Don’t need advise. Kamille please be strong and do what you need to do for yourself. One day at a time. Sometime you need some private times. I totally relate. I lost my mom this August and my husband at the same time. It’s very difficult.
I agree with every word she said in this video lost her since 2 years ago she left a very beautiful daughter behind thanks so much for this bless you ❤️
I’m A Widow to my husband left me with 6children,thanks for this video really support me.I’m a widow,I’m an Orphan and I raise my children are Orphans,I don’t have any support who can support me I’m just struggling with my Children work hurt to see if my children can survive 😢😢😢😢you’re not lied it really hurts,I feel that pain too.😰😰😰😰sometimes I go through with anxiety for that lose control but what it support me is praying only🙏🙏😰😰😰😰.
My heart goes out to everyone that lost their spouse ❤
I'm a widower and I think this should have to be watched by the entire world thank you so much for putting this out there
So sorry for your Loss my friend! 💔♥️
Tim, sorry for your loss. I found Camille the first week my husband passed, while sitting in bed doing that horrible 'take your breath away' crying. I grabbed my phone and typed in 'grief' on youtube. This video popped right up. As she talked I felt like I had a friend who understood, and I cried with her for her loss of Clint. I have shared this video with many people- not just widows and widowers- because Camille explains so well how the loss hits. Since most ppl don't understand how deeply the survivors are drenched in sorrow & grief, they don't know what to do to help. My husband was sick but not one time did we think he would pass- so when he bled out in hospital it was a huge shock. I asked myself why it had to be on Christmas Eve- our favorite? When I found Camille (and really I think Jesus led me to her) her videos comforted me. She's a huge blessing & beautiful soul! I hope you've found comfort as well, Tim! 🙏🏻💕
@@Good-DaySunshine thank you so much Jackson the Lord Camille grief share and my church family has helped me greatly 🙏🏻
Perfectly said..... Hello, it's a pleasure to meet you. Please excuse my manner. If you find my message abusive, I'd love to be your friend and hope there's nothing wrong with that.
Well said! I became a widow almost 3 years ago and was married almost 57 years. If you have never lost a spouse you truly do not know just what we go through. Your video is spot on!
And people want to relate it to losing another family member or friend. They go into “oh, when I lost this person blah blah blah…” it is completely different. Sadly I’ve lost both of my parents and a couple siblings. I know it hurts. Trust me because I lost my father eight weeks after I lost my husband. But people always want to relate to their loss of a friend or family member it is so completely different when it’s the person that you live your life with Day in and day out and is your complete other half. It is not the same.
@@DJSuzieQ Well I’m really sorry about that okay 😒☹️and I know how it feels to be lonely without our love ones, we've all lost our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I understand how you feel but life must move on because death is inevitable no matter how hard we try! And we'll all have to face it someday, and every of our love ones we’ve lost will wanna see us happy anywhere they’re. I lost my oldest daughter Annabel on February 24th 2020 during the lockdown on a car accident, and she just turned 22 on her last birthday before she got knocked down by a moving vehicle 🚗 and so unluckily for me that horrible day the driver was drunk. That was the worst and most lamentable day of my life as a single Dad raising two kid's, my 17 years old son Clark and my 4 legged 🐶 families are my everything and the reason I still keep strong, and keep going! My late wife also passed away 3 years ago from a shocking disease, I felt deeply devastated with grief, and I was so heartbroken 💔 God and time are indeed the best healers.
I'd love to talk to you more if you don't mind! So it would be nice to get a reply from you when you got time okay. 🌹🌹
Well I’m really sorry about that okay 😒☹️and I know how it feels to be lonely without our love ones, we've all lost our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I understand how you feel but life must move on because death is inevitable no matter how hard we try! And we'll all have to face it someday, and every of our love ones we’ve lost will wanna see us happy anywhere they’re.
My wife died after a brief illness … she was 28 and we were married 13 days short of 2 years. I was 26 and a senior in college (after the military) . A fellow student (20-ish) whose mom worked in the office of my wife’s neurosurgeon) frequently sought me out on campus to ‘help me’ by talking with me on the difficult time I was dealing with…. Before my wife died. What really bothered me was that she knew way more than she should have about my wife’s condition. This was in 1979… way before HIPPA. After my wife died during summer break, I saw her again on campus. She told me she was sorry about my wife’s death. Note, she was very attractive and almost immediately started flirting with me. I started avoiding her like the plague…. One day she said to me that she understood EXACTLY what I was going through because her aunt had died a few years before. That was the last time I talked with her.
Thank you so much for your supportive videos! OMG! You are right on!!! Been a widow for 2 years now. One of my main pet peeves is hearing people say that they “know” I’m lonely! I’m still living here alone because I want to! My husband was terminally ill and now I just enjoy the peace and quiet at home, reading, crocheting, prayer and meditation. Alone and lonely are two different things! Love to all my sister widows out there!!!! ❤️🙏🏻😊
🤗💖
@@Good-DaySunshine Yes! I get invites to go everywhere and have a "good time", mind you, I just lost my husband a few weeks ago. When I don't want to go, they think I'm wallowing or something. I want to be left alone a lot to process, but people don't understand. I feel judged a lot!
I am newly widowed all these silly people are so annoying. I learning as I go stay away from the ones I know who will say simple stuff. I just had a lady say to well you still have to live 😡
@@Shontise_Shonie Sorry for your loss, when did it happen?
@@Good-DaySunshine 10/28/23
A well meaning friend came to the hospital the night my husband passed away and said God has another angel. I didn’t need him to be an angel. I needed him here with me.
She was My Angel. I needed her more than anyone else needed her at the moment.. I feel your pain Evelyn.
Some of my friends said, he will always be with you. I replied, if he was with me I wouldn't be in this mess. 🤣
Someone told me that I now have an angel when I lost my fiance' over a month ago. I don't even know how to take that.
I feel so painful for you that's makes me remember my late wife but life is just have to move on.
@@manichairdo9265amen
I lost my beautiful angel two months ago. I cry every day. Widowers feel the same way. Thank you.
I am in the same position as you. I pray that you find some peace.
I'm so sorry for your loss Alan. I do a grief course happinessadvocates.vipmembervault.com here's the link for all the details. Thinking of you my fellow widower warrior
Hello Alan
YES we do!
So sorry
Send me a mail
Let's talk ,
michaelctyler12@gmail.com
I agree with everything you said !!! Lost my husband of 25 years to brain cancer after a 15 month battle in July 2018. I also found love again and I am engaged to a man who lost his wife of 28 years in 2017. We both have much love for them and talk about them often. They will always be in our hearts.😊
I'm so sorry for your lost Brenda, that's remind me of my late wife who died long time ago but life is just have to move on.
Hi Brenda, how are you doing
Hello how are you doing
Lost my husband to brain cancer also.
So much truth! I 100% agree with your every single word. Widow life is the hardest thing I have ever done. Thank you for making me feel less alone.
If you ever want some friendship or company please get in touch x
It is a lonely life hopefully someday we can go be with them again forever!
@@teresawaid6088 Well I’m really sorry about that okay 😒☹️and I know how it feels to be lonely without our love ones, we've all lost our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I understand how you feel but life must move on because death is inevitable no matter how hard we try! And we'll all have to face it someday, and every of our love ones we’ve lost will wanna see us happy anywhere they’re. I lost my oldest daughter Annabel on February 24th 2020 during the lockdown on a car accident, and she just turned 22 on her last birthday before she got knocked down by a moving vehicle 🚗 and so unluckily for me that horrible day the driver was drunk. That was the worst and most lamentable day of my life as a single Dad raising two kid's, my 17 years old son Clark and my 4 legged 🐶 families are my everything and the reason I still keep strong, and keep going! My late wife also passed away 3 years ago from a shocking disease, I felt deeply devastated with grief, and I was so heartbroken 💔 God and time are indeed the best healers.
I'd love to talk to you more if you don't mind! So it would be nice to get a reply from you when you got time okay. 🌹🌹
@@teresawaid6088 Hope you’ve found peace and happiness again?
Im a Widow ,i hate people when they tell me , You'll be OK it takes time. 😮
Or they will say... You're too sensitive.😔 You look young , you'll find someone. 😮 Im so lonely and sad and people are so cruel. Im never going to get married. Im 67 and men are so set in their ways, especially the divorced men are terrible, so i decided to just focus on myself. And i love to dance and hike and I'll do whatever i please.
Im so sorry you lost your husband,
I know what your going through, be good to yourself and love you and your children. Be kind to yourself too.
God Bless you 🕊️❤️
The one thing I would add is, “Do not compare being a widow to being a divorcée!” My sister constantly did this. Her ex was an abusive husband. It was a good thing in her life to get away from her ex-husband. She couldn’t stand her ex in the end. My husband was a very loving partner who died suddenly and unexpectedly after 25 years of being quite happily married. He was only 52. In addition to missing the feel of his hugs, the comforting feel of a man’s strong arms around me, I missed so much being able to talk to him. He was the smartest man I knew. Every time my sister would act like she understood what I was going through, I would always think, “You could pick up the phone any time and talk to your ex; hear his voice. I never can hear my husband’s voice again!”
I agree!
After l lost my husband to cancer last month, my aunt did this to me.
I agree! Divorce is a decision: becoming a widow is not. I stopped texting with a guy on a dating app because he insisted that the pain is the same. He had been divorced three times! At least a widow/widower has established that they can maintain a long-term, committed relationship. A divorcee’ cannot.
My trigger is when people try to encourage me to date again saying the “he would want you to be happy!” To me it sounds like giving myself an excuse to do what I want. We were soulmates. We made a covenant. When I see him again in Heaven, I don’t want to have to explain my selfishness.
In response to what I said above: I understand if you are a young woman and have your whole life ahead of you. In my case, I was married 40 years. I understand there is a difference. I’m so glad that she was able to establish a new life for herself.
Totally agree with what you said. I became a widow at the age of 24 in 1980 with 2 toddlers. My husband died unexpectedly so no time to prepare. Death was new to me so I had on the job training. Everyone came around until the funeral was over and then I was treated like a leper. Married people were afraid I would take their spouse, Single people were afraid of me because people don't like "death" or dealing with someone who has lost their mate because they don't know what to say or do. Didn't fit in with the old people who lost their spouse because I had little ones and they were beyond all that. People would say, "If you need anything let me know." I did and couldn't get their help when needed. So for me, I felt abandon by my church family, my own family, and so I learned to deal with things on my own. Regarding my feelings, people didn't want to know probably because they didn't want to deal with it. People really have no idea unless they have lost a spouse. Death is hard to deal with, I get it. Compassion should be in all our hearts. I have also been divorced from my second husband,. Total silence from everyone I know. So I carry on. I thank God that He has been with me thru all of my life. Wouldn't have made it otherwise. I am so glad you have Jesus to lean on, and a new husband that has been thru the same thing. Understanding goes a long way in dealing with grief. God bless you and your family.
Geez. It's such a crazy path to walk. I'm so sorry for your loss as well. It's such an alternate universe. I'm here for you! You are not alone!
Yes, totally agree. I feel so embarrased asking for help. They make me feel as if I am gonna take their husbands just because I need their help. I remember in the bible how it says Jesus asked for the people to take care of widows. Sad even to this date people dont consider us. But God always gives us strength. 🙏🙏
@@gabrielaguerrero6349 Well I’m really sorry about that okay 😒☹️and I know how it feels to be lonely without our love ones, we've all lost our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I understand how you feel but life must move on because death is inevitable no matter how hard we try! And we'll all have to face it someday, and every of our love ones we’ve lost will wanna see us happy anywhere they’re.
God bless you Darlena... my heart goes out to you.
I love the down to earth advice! I lost my wife of 28 years about 3 years ago. I couldn’t agree more with everything you’ve said. Thank you for sharing and I hear your pain. May God bless you and keep you and hold you in his hands.
I lost my wife Terry almost 13 months ago. It is so extremely difficult. Thank you so much. True, heartfelt honesty.
Your suggestion are wonderful! I’ve been a widow for years, I’d like to add, don’t exclude us, we don’t want your husband😆
AMEN!!!
For some reason we are seen as a threat. 😂
I'm so sorry for dat but don't forget dat this is life for you chat me up for more details
@@peggyharris3815 omg...so very true! Ridiculous too, but we ARE treated like that on entire street you live on too!
@@insilence6156 they are terrified of having to live through what we are experiencing. To ignore us allows them to avoid thinking that one day...our pain could be theirs. (Can't really blame them. Confound them with resilience!)
Bless you for making this video. I just lost my husband of 24 years, on April 24th. He'd been diagnosed with colon cancer in October, and he refused to even see an oncologist. He'd said after seeing what his dad went through with stomach cancer and chemo, and his mother with breast cancer and chemo, that he just wanted his life to run its course naturally. I was enraged at that. I spent, or in hindsight, wasted.. weeks nagging at him, begging and pleading with him to go if I make an appointment. He wouldn't budge. I was his caretaker the whole six months. I watched him go from well over 200lbs to 90lbs. I am all over the place emotionally now. One minute the grief seems like it will never lift, and I find myself sitting on the side of the bed, smelling his pillow and crying till my head throbs. Other times I scream at him, and God. Other times, I feel a tiny bit of relief at not having to get up 2-3 times a night to change and wash bed linens because his ostomy bag leaked, yet again, because there were no smaller sizes for his shrinking frame. Then of course comes the guilt that eats away at me. So, thank you for making this video. I am so very grateful.
Oh my word. My story almost to a point. Wish I knew how to contact you. Just know that you did best for him & being there til end meant more to him than you will ever know. Sending you much love & strength from Cape Town SA.
@@fillyhart4222 thank you so much. Hugs
I can relate to this comment so well. My husband had a rare form of leukemia and went from 175 down to 90 lbs and it was absolutely heartbreaking, scary, and everything else. I was his primary caregiver, and I had to watch him die and I lived out my nightmare. So difficult. He passed away just a few weeks ago. It's so hard.
@@SarahLynnLee please accept my sympathy for your loss. The time you're going through now is the most difficult time anyone can go through. Please know that it really isn't a cliche that it gets easier with time. It does. I hope it's okay to say this, but the thing that eases my tears, temporarily, is to remember the times we argued. Sounds weird to say that after someone is gone, but it worked for me. I got this suggestion from a widow group at my church called Ruth's circle. To think of the bad times when sobbing and the pain is unbearable and it did work a bit. i am sharing in case that may help you. Again, I apologize if it sounds mean or strange. It's hard to gauge what you should say to someone online because we can't see someone's demeanor, facial expressions. But I share that with widows now. I really hope it helps a bit. It's a temporary fix but helped me stop sobbing to the point my head hurt. Thank you for your comment. Hugs
@@cheryl1205 Thank you so much for your thoughtful reply. Yesterday was probably the hardest day so far for me (not sure why). I tried your technique to think about the arguments we had and it does help some. Sometimes when loved ones pass we tend to think of only the good times, which makes this whole process so much harder. My Vic wasn't perfect and I should have balance in my memories. This is by far the most difficult experience of my life. Praying to God for strength and courage to move forward and for the pain to lessen. Again, thank you so much. Only widows understand what we go through. I may look for a support group myself to join to help get through this. 💔❤
Thank you for this. I am 70 and lots of my girlfriends are becoming widows, so you have helped me understand in some way how they feel. It is a real journey. The other person is always with you. I am just starting to date a widower who was married 44 years so he will carry her with him all the time, and I am fine with that.
I dated a widower who also was married 44 years and he started dating within 6 weeks of her passing. Told me the grieving was done while she was dying. I believes him, fell hard for him and moved part time to Florida with him. After 3 months there his adult son came to visit with his family and I was KICKED OUT of the condo I was living in with him. The most horrific thing that's ever happened to me. He was 68 at the time. I was 65. Needless to say it ended shortly thereafter. It's been 2.5 years and I am still grieving that loss. Beware of widowers that move on too soon. His and his families feelings were way more important than mine. I'm completely gutted and he's moved on with someone else. I honestly wish he had died on me than live with the pain of his horrific actions. Best of luck to you.
Just found your video. Your experience is relatable. Six months past and no one visits, calls, texts let alone offer help. Still receiving grief counseling, triggered, shaking and overwhelmed.
I'm so sorry you are struggling....remember that's NORMAL!! We grieve so much because we love them so much.
God bless you, I lost my wife coming up on 2 years and struggle every day, your so right about nobody being around after the funeral, I’m glad I found this video, thank you, stay strong!
My wifes entire family could not get out of town fast enough after the funeral breakfast I had for them. Many slipped out as I was settling the bill- no good byes! They dont even call- they knew me for 44 years and was married to their sister 38- never any issues. It was very disappointing now over 2 years later-I could care less and they can keep their holiday phones texts of Happy this or Merry that!
you.are so right.what.you say..so sad to see you.cry .yes people say some.things.itsvso upsetting..when they still have...there husband's...like.ofbhim in another room..my sister said....we do not want tears..in the family .be strong...they will.only..know..if..it.happensbto.them...its been six years..since my husband.died..still..miss.him.and.its so.lonely...i went to.live in another.coutry..and.still.try to..to.mend a broken heart..but I suppose it will never mend...but I go.on seeing good.things..birds sun sky and sea...but I have.leart ..suffer..alone...and have.faith...
@@annesimpson7501 Well I’m really sorry about that okay 😒☹️and I know how it feels to be lonely without our love ones, we've all lost our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I understand how you feel but life must move on because death is inevitable no matter how hard we try! And we'll all have to face it someday, and every of our love ones we’ve lost will wanna see us happy anywhere they’re. I lost my oldest daughter Annabel on February 24th 2020 during the lockdown on a car accident, and she just turned 22 on her last birthday before she got knocked down by a moving vehicle 🚗 and so unluckily for me that horrible day the driver was drunk. That was the worst and most lamentable day of my life as a single Dad raising two kid's, my 17 years old son Clark and my 4 legged 🐶 families are my everything and the reason I still keep strong, and keep going! My late wife also passed away 3 years ago from a shocking disease, I felt deeply devastated with grief, and I was so heartbroken 💔 God and time are indeed the best healers.
I'd love to talk to you more if you don't mind! So it would be nice to get a reply from you when you got time okay. 🌹🌹
@@annesimpson7501 Hope you’ve found peace and happiness again?
The absolute worst for me was when a friend told me “It’s probably for the best.” So my husbands death was the best thing that could happen? However an eight year old neighbor child just sat and cried with me and gave me a huge hug. Guess who I respected more?
Awe!! I love that little neighbor♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️ so glad you had her show up for you
Someone actually said that to you? I think I would have just walked away. Some people are so uncouth. Sorry you had to experience that.
WOW bless your heart!
💞👍
WOW….the things these people say omg. That’s not ok.
This video is wonderful. I lost my sweet wife exactly 3 months ago to ovarian cancer. I am a deacon in the Catholic Church and so I cannot remarry (not that I'd want to), but I, too, sometimes feel judged and what you've said makes so much sense. Thank you for letting me know there are many of us out there and we are not alone. Praise God for your ministry!
David Allen I'm so sorry for your loss💔💔♥️ sending prayers your way🙏🏻✝️
@@KamilleBauer Thank you SO much, Kamille! I also send prayers your way, sweet friend. God's Blessing be upon you and may your precious spouse always pray for and watch over you.
Oh that’s sad david sorry for the lost okay.
May her Rest In Peace
I'm a widow writing under my husband's name. I lost him three months ago to covid. It's been the hardest thing I've ever gone through. If anyone ever judges me for the how I'm handling my grief, I will tell them to walk a mile in my shoes first. Until you go through this, there's no way to understand what it's like.
Hello I am also searching
Amen I am with you.
Being a widow is hard even for those of us older. Thank you for giving people ideas on how to make it a little easier. A little thought and kindness go a long way! Next time I hear about someone comparing their dog dying to having a spouse die............ It happens and even worse. Just think next time. We have all said stupid things but we can do better.
Anne Pelton, your comment touched my heart ♥. I will be glad to know you more
God. Truth. If another person compares my pain of losing my soulmate to losing a pet... I will punch them. I have lost dozens of pets in the past... NOTHING compares to losing a spouse. NOTHING.
Hello Anne Pelton
Hello Anne how are you doing
Hey anne 👋
YES ! all these things are so true! I lost my husband 6 months ago and NO ONE knows what we go through unless you have been in our shoes. Thank you for your honesty!!
Everything you said was so true. My husband was killed in an accident so very unexpected. This was 17 months ago. After living with him for 35 years I don't know what to do. I thought I wanted to date but when I went out for coffee with someone all I could think about was my husband. When I got home I cried for about 2 hours. I would add that a family member told me that I just needed "to get over it" only a few weeks after my husband's death. Also when I went to move having family try to tell me what I could and could not keep. That's my decision. Maybe I will keep some things forever and some I will probably let go of eventually. Either way, that is my decision.
Hello 👋 how are you doing
@kathi Reynolds come here
God bless you . I’ve just become a widower and videos like your help so much because only other widows will ever understand what battles are raging in our minds . Thankyou again
ITS DEFINITELY HARDER TO DATE THAN NOT DATE- hugs to you
I just came across your video. I am so very sorry for your loss. You gave very powerful information in this video for all of us that maybe a friend to someone who has lost a loved one. I worked with hospice and in medical field and I saw the heartache and the friends that after the funeral stayed a way and so many other things that you shared in this video. Grief has no time frame, our lives are changed forever when a loved one dies. Thank you for doing this video.
As a widow of 2.6 years I get a lot of "I know...I lost my sister or mother or "insert" family member here! GRRRR It is NOT the same!!! I'm SICK of it! Did you vow and have dreams to spend the rest of your life daily with them? Did you sleep with them? They THINK they are relating but it only hurts more. I swear next time I'm going to ask them "so tell me all about your widowhood! How is it not waking up without your spouse in the same bed anymore?" Great video. I cried when you did. Triggers are almost daily for me. Thank you. So sorry for your loss.
Kamille
You have voiced the thoughts and feelings of so many of us who have lost our spouses. Unlike you I am not young. I was married to the most beautiful, wonderful woman for 30 years until she lost her battle with metastatic breast cancer 5 months ago. I watched her go through hell for 2 years and was at her side when the ventilator tube was removed. I will not describe that horrific scene but it shook me to the core. I was holding her hand several hours later when she went to heaven. I have no good days…only bad days and days that aren’t “too bad”. Luckily I have 3 adult children who have been a wonderful support to me even as they deal with their own grief. I have not had anyone say any insensitive or foolish remarks to me so in that I have been blessed. I turned 61 six days after she passed away but I felt 91. Over the months that followed things are slowly getting a little better and it truly is one day at a time. One last thing. Although I don’t have a desire to date…I found my that my wedding ring (which I always loved to wear) had become a constant reminder, not of our long and beautiful marriage, but of all (and who) I had lost. It sits now in a drawer.
God bless you and your family ❤️
after 37 years of extremely happy marriage I find myself in exactly the same situation as you, 67 years old and - now what?
My wife passed away last month. We were married for 42 years. I watched several of your videos yesterday and have found them very helpful in dealing with my grief. Thank you.
You are amazing!! Thank you for starting these thoughts so clearly! These thoughts are spot on for parents who have lost children too. You are so spot on!! Thank you. 😢i am so sorry for your loss. My heart aches with you.
Thank you.❤. I lost my husband just 2 months and 3 days ago and so much of what you said just ... touched me. I am sitting here and empathize so much, especially when you were crying. I started crying right along with you because I feel the same pain. Jesus has helped me too, especially when I am feeling the most worst pain and I cry out to Him. I started calming down and feeling safer and more at peace. And the pain really does lessen. May Our Heavenly Father bless us both. I am glad that you have been able to also find some joy even though you still miss your first husband.
The biggest act of love I ever experienced was when my dying spouse told me to find someone but make sure she liked animals.
My haste into filling that hole of dispair led me into a relationship, from a grief group encounter, with a discerned borderline. It delayed a proper timeline of grieving & complicated it with adding the added mental anguish of a disordered person. Peace & love to you, new family, & thanks for getting this message out.
Comment I hate.... “You are doing so well!”. Actually, you don’t know how I am doing! Middle of the night, random times during the day... you know I am doing ok (not good), sometimes. But, you don’t know when I am not, because I usually hide it.
This comment resonates so much! Sending you a big hug!
Recent widower Dad here, you are spot on!
You have been A-MAZ-ing! Widowhood is way harder than anyone ever imagines. The reality is nothing like the imagining. I have been a widow for 18months. My husband died after a six year battle with prostate cancer.
You can say all you want about what you would do if it happens to you but until you’ve been there you just don’t know. So I agree that unless you are a widow it’s best to keep your mouth shut and do all the loving, kind, and helpful things you can think of. Widows don’t have energy to reach out, they need you to care enough to reach in. My heart aches for you and your new husband and your kids. Whatever happiness you find together does not diminish the love and heart ache you will always feel for your lost spouses.
Nothing will replace them but God has added to your lives this new marriage and family I wish you all the best and Gods continued blessing and help as you struggle on through this widow journey.
Well I’m really sorry about that okay 😒☹️and I know how it feels to be lonely without our love ones, we've all lost our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I understand how you feel but life must move on because death is inevitable no matter how hard we try! And we'll all have to face it someday, and every of our love ones we’ve lost will wanna see us happy anywhere they’re.
Hope you’ve found happiness again??
I lost my wife of 42 years this January.. Thank God no one said those things to me.. Four of her girl friends thanked me for being a good husband to her..which surprised me.. I miss her so much and just stay home, alone, with me memories.. Life just sucks right now. Thank you for your post and I can relate to much of it. God Bless.
Good video, thank you. Please don’t tell a widow/widower, “I know how you feel because my grandmother/cousin/dog died.” And people do forget after a while. I’m never called anymore.
My Greg and I were married over 20 years. He was 58. After saving my life less than a year prior, he had a sudden stroke 9 months ago. Because of covid, he died alone, as the hospital refused to let me be with him (although we were both covid free). I will never get over that. His family has seemed to begin to feel that I am no longer part of the family. No visits, no invites, no calls. This shocks me as well as our kids and grandkids who shared their lives too. It hurts. If one of his siblings had a spouse who died, the one remaining would be family for the rest of their life in my opinion (and my husband felt that way too), so I don't understand. God bless you and your new combined family. Thanks for the spot on video. Sadly I have also lost my younger brother, a 1st cousin and my son in the last 6 months. Came close to losing a daughter, granddaughter and another brother as well. I am glad I found this video.
I get this one alot.
I don't think anyone should ever be saying to anyone " i know how you feel" in the face of a recent loss. Because , even if you have lost the same person they lost( aka, if they are a widow and you are one, or if you both lost a parent or a child , etc). Because, grief and loss is a very different and personal experience for each person, so even if you suffered the same type of loss, your experiences about it, the way you deal with it and how you feel, can be completely different because many things can affect that.
@@wandagreer9144 Well I’m really sorry about that okay 😒☹️and I know how it feels to be lonely without our love ones, we've all lost our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I understand how you feel but life must move on because death is inevitable no matter how hard we try! And we'll all have to face it someday, and every of our love ones we’ve lost will wanna see us happy anywhere they’re.
@@wandagreer9144 hope you’ve found peace and happiness again?
Wooo Hooooo, I agree with you 10000 percent!!!!! Everything you said is totally true. I hate the judging, haven't you moved on by now and God puts no more on you than you can bare, yes He does so you can rely on him for help. #We still love them!!!! # Love don't die!!!! You are so right about the Lord too, I know I wouldn't have made it this far without Him
Hello
I lost the love of my life,dad to our twin boys and he was my pastor....I'm in pieces....my heart aches..we married when I was 16 he was 17 God blessed us with our boys when I was 22 he was 24...married for 35 and half years.....he went home to be with our Lord December 6th 2018...this is so hard and yes everyone moves on and we get left behind...our church family is heart broke. Remember Faith Baptist church....It's hard going from a Pastors wife to not is so hard....he was LOVE OF MY LIFE.....GOD will see me through but I cry everyday.....I miss him so bad and so many emotions..pray for me and my boys....so hard .....he was only 53 years old.....thought we would grow old together..my heart will always belong to my true LOVE....
@@patrickhunsaker4678 thank you ,hope you are as well.
Hello
I m here ❤❤❤❤
I just found this video and I wanted to thank you I lost my husband in July 1 2023 😢 it's nice to know am not alone.❤
Thank you for presenting this topic. I lost my husband to cancer in 11-17-2017. I was diagnosed two weeks before he died with colon cancer but I am two years cancer free. I lost my mother unexpectedly the next year, and my sister this last October unexpectedly. I am trying to figure out life right now. I will keep you in my prayers from Mississippi
I'm so sorry for your lost that's remind me of my late wife but life is just have to move on.
Hi Becky, how are you doing
Well I’m really sorry about that okay 😒☹️and I know how it feels to be lonely without our love ones, we've all lost our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I understand how you feel but life must move on because death is inevitable no matter how hard we try! And we'll all have to face it someday, and every of our love ones we’ve lost will wanna see us happy anywhere they’re.
Danny life seems to get a little better. Trying to stay busy and trying to enjoy the small things in life.
@@beckyhoffman9423 I lost my oldest daughter Annabel on February 24th 2020 during the lockdown on a car accident, and she just turned 22 on her last birthday before she got knocked down by a moving vehicle 🚗 and so unluckily for me that horrible day the driver was drunk. That was the worst and most lamentable day of my life as a single Dad raising two kid's, my 17 years old son Clark and my 4 legged 🐶 families are my everything and the reason I still keep strong, and keep going! My late wife also passed away 3 years ago from a shocking disease, I felt deeply devastated with grief, and I was so heartbroken 💔 God and time are indeed the best healers.
I'd love to talk to you more if you don't mind! 🌹🌹
What a sweetheart this beautiful girl is. You have to walk in somebody else’s shoes to really know how
they feel.
If you cry all the time, people comment “wow, she’s a mess”; if you smile or laugh in public, they say “she is doing good, she’s really moving on”. I discovered that no matter what I did, people were talking- they did not see me in my private moments. Basically, a widow is living everyone’s biggest fear of losing their mate, so people are just watching constantly..... they say stupid stuff, they avoid you, they hover over you.....so much weird stuff- I found those who said “I’m praying for you” was the thing that did not offend me
True. It was all my friends prayers that have held me up so far. I try to keep putting everything in perspective when a new problem or difficulty comes up with all the logistical stuff of losing your spouse. Insurance, selling the house, paying bills, his phone still getting calls, they all can weigh me down by reminding me of the loss not only of the person but also the life I shared with him. We are grieving the loss of so many aspects of our life with that person. Just take it 24 hours at a time and even if you crawl into your bed at night you made it to the end of that day in one piece. God bless you and send you peace.
People have no idea what to do sometimes and it's so comical after awhile I found myself shaking my head and then adding it my mental 'Did they really just say that?" List.
Dear Heart; this video is two years old, but I feel your sincerity in this video. Thank you for the suggestions.
The heart is deep and wide and rich, and your tears are nuggets of gold from the heart. I love your prayer at the end. May God continue to bless and keep you and your grand family.
Hi Gail , how are you doing
Perfectly said..... Hello, it's a pleasure to meet you. Please excuse my manner. If you find my message abusive, I'd love to be your friend and hope there's nothing wrong with that.
Good points. I'm a 42 year old widower with Multiple Sclerosis. I list my wife about 8 months ago. I've noticed being a widower and having MS have a lot of parallels. People don't know what to say in either case.
Hello Mason
Hi mason. I have relapsing remitting m.s i hope you are doing well.
@@eliseadam8312 dear you from
I m alone 👧😍😍
Hello I’m a widower that is coming up on my 1year of being by alone. I find myself tearing up every time that you get emotional b/c I can feel and understand your pain. I can’t agree more about being forgotten by friends b/c their life goes on as normal. All I know is this is not how it was supposed to be it sucks!!! Thanks for the video glad you found someone
You’re an amazing person. Thank you so much for sharing. I’m a recent widower. I understand everything you’re going through and I can’t thank you enough for sharing.
The day after my husband's memorial service at our church I sat on a bench that I always sat on and people came by and said a lot of those cliches but the one thing that helped me the most was when my pastor's wife walked up to me and just hug me and said nothing. The hug said everything. I learned through my experience at the beginning to tell people I was sorry for their loss. After my husband's passing I had a journal that I wrote in everyday my thoughts my emotions and even writing to him. From then on everybody I knew that lost someone I bought them a journal and just gave it to them if they felt like they needed to write something. I had several people to tell me that was better than flowers. I think people apps that give you the Bible cliches are just really trying to help so I take it as that and on down the road when I've been down my journey further I remember what they said and receive it then.
Loved your input♥️♥️
You’ve handled so much, what a strong woman you’re.
I lost my husband a week and a half ago. We were together 20 years. He was my rock. I am so lost now without him. I do hope this gets easier.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I know now you feel. I have a grief group program that starts it's next round this coming tuesday. Here's the link - I know it will help you through the holidays. Love and prayers sending your way.
happinessadvocates.vipmembervault.com/products/courses/view/1054198
R I P to your husband
So sorry for your loss.....it does get easier, but takes a while, and everyone is different as to how long. So advice is to listen to yourself, not others rushing you in the grieving process. Bless you.
Dear you from
Oh sweet friend, your love for Clint (and the kids and Cody) is apparent in everything you say and do. 💕💕💕
Lori Adams,i love your kind words and I believe that you are a sympathetic being ♥. I will be glad to know you more
Hi Lori
Hello
Thank you . I wish more people could see this.
I found this today, recent widow. Spouse had emergency surgery in Dec 2019, given 6 months to live and got the news on New Year's eve.
Made it to March 2020, he also had early stage dementia.
I am so lost, watched your videos.
Thank you!
I'm so sorry for your heartache and loss. It really is the worst thing imaginable to loss a spouse. It is like you are now living in a horrible, alternate reality. Keep pushing forward. He would want you to live your life and try to do things that make you smile. 🌟 I know widowhood is lonely but you are not alone♥️💔
My beloved wife of 25 years passed away 3 & 1/2 years ago after a long battle with Type 2 Diabetes. I agree with your comment about home cleaning services. I have been operating professionally for over 20 years and donate my services to help my friends with grief, loss and illness. I admire your spirit. My wife told me to date also but I find it difficult to do. Few people truly understand this side of grief that the spouse who is left behind deals with. Thank you for your sharing. Shalom
I'm 74. I've been a widow for 2 + years. I was in tears with you during this video. I've had counselling, joined and left grief groups. This is hands down the best conversation about grief I've listened to. Thank you.
The word "loss", completely undoes me. I haven't lost my husband. He's not a handbag or a set of keys. He's dead and I know exactly where he is and where he's not.
Blessings to you and your children, in every way.❤
Perfectly said..... Hello, it's a pleasure to meet you. Please excuse my manner. If you find my message abusive, I'd love to be your friend and hope there's nothing wrong with that.
Thanking you for telling us what not do and what to do. It was very helpful and I hope everyone will embrace your suggestions.
Hi Connie, how are you doing
Perfectly said..... Hello, it's a pleasure to meet you. Please excuse my manner. If you find my message abusive, I'd love to be your friend and hope there's nothing wrong with that.
As a recent widower, I can understand just how hard it was for you to make this video. Very glad you have chosen to honor your late husband by choosing to be happy and love another person. That is exactly what my late wife told me to do. Thank you for having the courage and strength to make and share this video.
My husband of 50yrs. had passed away. Two weeks later my friend stopped by. I was doing what I did every day, crying. She looked at me and said “aren't you over him yet, he's gone and he's never coming back”.
Yep, that's what she said. People don't understand and won't, not until they lose their spouse. If you want to do anything for a friend, sit beside them, call them and let them cry. You don't even need to say a word.
SERIOUSLY?! I'm not surprised. Some people are clueless and words can be so astonishing and incredulous. Your advice is spot on! Thinking if you widow Warrior♥️
Oh that’s awful. Maybe reason I haven’t been around my friends. Oh I remember what my friend said to me, you may find someone else again, but you won’t get married.
😳
My twin sister called me five weeks after my husband died... I was crying when I answered her call.
She asked me what was I crying about this time. I said I was very sad my husband was dead...she replied in a nasty condescending tone. Everything isn’t always about you we all lost someone that day. Time for me to buck up and move on and stop being selfish.
I did not have any family members to actually help me with any of the funeral arrangements, they were “busy”.
I just say thank you! You have helped me in so many ways. The dark cloud that has been hovering over me is starting to lift after 6 months. I miss my Husband and talking to and about him, remembering the many good memories we made together, and asking God to help move foward and cope with grief I feel is what I do. God has always been good to me. I trust Him with all my heart. Praying for you and all the widows and widowers and myself.
I absolutely Love this Woman's attitude. Very Special Person. I lost my Wife 10 Months ago - She was a Young Beautiful 44 Year Old - my Life has been Shattered.
I'm so sorry for your loss 💔 it's such an unfortunate club to be in. You're not alone in your pain. Thinking of you🙏🏼♥️
What a wonderful video. I lost my husband 2 months ago to ALS and you are right, after the first weeks have passed it sometimes gets very lonely bc people move on which is of course ok for them. I now get the "we have to call the widow" calls from my husband's relatives on a regular schedule. I hate them bc I have to listen to all the fun activities they are having and have to tell them I am ok. The meal services are fab. My closest friends gave that to me for almost 2 weeks. I hate the stereotypes especially when they tell me it happened for a reason and he is now in heaven with Jesus. Thank you for sharing this. It really helped me to hear that from another widow.
Thank you for this video! My husband die after 3 years battling cancer, I feel so confuse and lost, don’t want people telling me bs or omg he is not longer here poor you .. please! Is not fair, 😣💔
Merry me I love u
I like u I make u so so happy 😍😍😚😚😘😘😗😗❤👧🌷🌷🌷 I m alone
Every day i watch the road...saw her two times. She smiled but could not stay.
The river is right outside every window. I watch every day for her return. Then we'll walk together to that river...i can see it everyday. This is her place...she just can't stay. One day she will meet me at this river. I cannot leave, without her. This is a beautiful place. Fourteen years is not forever. Wrote a song about it...
Beautiful words !!!
🤗🤗👍
So sorry for your loss. I would love to hear the song!
@@KamilleBauer just got back to the house...been at the river. Got fresh catfish for a late supper! Its so nice to live beside this river... I have seen things to wonderful to convey in words.
I will send the song, shortly. It isn't worth a dime if i can't share it with someone else. Gotta fix up some vittles now... Will get back to ya after...😊 thanks...
Love you for making this. Widower here and yeah you get it. 40 and this is hard and no one gets it. Whenever I see something about widows/widowers from the survivors perspective we know and others just don't. No one else should know how this feels and I hope they don't. Thank you.
I am a widower. I'm seeing this video is four years old. I wanted to send positive energy now hoping you are in a place of acceptance. I can't imagine all the comments you got. I understand some of the comments but only admit to only a few. I am so sorry they did that to you.
After four years I'm hoping you are happy. Positive thoughts to you and positive emotions. I understand only to a limit. The rest of the pain is yours and you have my empathy.
Bless you.
Before my husband passed away, we were invited to a lot of families for dinner and fun, after we're invited to only one home and these were all church families! Yes the Lord looked after me and my kids.
Hello Mary, how are you doing?
Oh wow so much of what you said is so true. So many friends just disappeared after my husband died. That was really painful and when I found a new partner people were so judgmental that I began to be afraid to tell people. What is misunderstood is that for some of us we have anticipatory grief. My husband was sick for 3 years and it wasn’t fun. It was a living nightmare. So I wanted to see the sun again and laugh and clean up the storm I went through with my daughter. I will always love and miss my husband but I know I’ll see him again and I can’t bring him back. I have to live again and make life beautiful for my daughter. So I have just gotten to the point that people’s opinions of me is their business not mine. And who cares, right?! There’s always more people to care for and love to give that will love us back for our strong spirit. My hats off to all the widows, carry on with your face in the sun!
I hate the term Widow . I’m basically the same person as before my husband passed. My life will never be the same without him but I’m still me . Judgement is just what you need when your life has changed forever. Thanks for posting
I have a friend whose sisters both lost their husbands and they cannot move on. She told me last week that they are both devastated and absolutely cannot get over it. I’m not sure about the second one but the first sister literally lost her husband a week before my friends wedding. That was in 2007. It’s terribly sad that they cannot quit grieving but I cannot say that they should. That’s their life like you said
It's so extremely personal - grief. It never ends. I love the quote by David Kessler "How long will you grieve? How long will they be dead?"
It's almost 6 years for me and my three kids but grief is always there. Birthdays, basketball games, hard days. It's unexplainable unless you've experienced it.
We have no choice but to get through it, personally, my children are why I'm here. Thank you for speaking for all of us. God bless you.
I love and Miss My Husband going on 5 years. Prayers for All.
Hello 👋 how are you doing
Hi Katie , how are you doing
More times than not, a simple 'I'm sorry for your loss' will go so much farther than anything else.
I don't like that one either.
I'm not sure I understand, I'm sorry for your loss, or just I'm sorry? I've done both but I've also simply said "you're in our prayers'. Usually the simpler the better.
@@babycakes1402 ...I didn't want people to say that they were sorry for what they had nothing to do with; it sounds nice but it's shallow.
If a person has not been widowed yet...maybe they could say, "When my time comes to go through what you have, I hope I can be as strong."
@@peggyharris3815That actually makes sense, I've just been pre-programed for the simple 'I'm sorry/I'm sorry for your loss', I'm also leaning toward the 'You're in our prayers.'
Recent widow...so very gratefully appreciating what you shared.
I lost my husband 2/3/2021 it's so hard😭😭😭 my 💔reading Scripture to keep going..no one understands us unless u have gone thru it..bless u all..
Hello 👋 how are you doing
Hi Blanca, how are you doing
I was married for 34 years and lost my husband 11 years ago...still miss him every day. He was my best friend who was so I'll for so long it was a relief when he passed. All I do is take it a day at a time. If I should find someone, then it is great and meant to be...if not, I will carry on by myself doing my best to be happy.
Hello Connie, how are you doing?
Thank you
This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done💔
You are right on track. I lost my husband 6 months ago he was very sick and as someone mentioned I am enjoying the peace and quiet and learning to enjoy each day. I loved my husband and he loved me so each day I am learning to move forward and to laugh again. Thank you for your video. ❤❤❤. I have had to teach my sisters to not say they know what I am going through but each still have their spouses so I had to say you can’t relate to this particular loss. Now I can visit and they no longer say I know what you are going through. I could go in but life is no longer upside down I am moving forward. Take care
Such a great video! It made me cry. My wife passed away just a month ago. I know she would want me to be happy. She told her friends to pray that I have a good life after she was gone. I will be ok.
Soo sorry for your loss. I'm grateful for your prayer. With her help from above you WILL have a good life - different but good. You are not alone even though you're lonely. God has helped soften the sting but still almost 6 years later my kids and I wish for him to be here.
God bless and keep you my sister in Christ. Well done!
OMG this hits the nail on the head! I need to make a video with some of the comments that have been made to me since I lost my husband last year. The Widows club is one that only we can understand and relate to. Its the worst rollercoaster ride imaginable!
This video ripped my heart out. My wife of 42 years passed away last October. I have had all of these statements said to me. They mean well, but they can’t comprehend my loss.
Sorry for your loss Mike. ♥️ Glad you can hear you're not alone
Thank you! Excellent video. NO, everything does not happen for a reason, things happen due to causes. Can't even describe what it is to be widowed for me. YES, everyone is different and should be respected for what they decide is right for them. PS One last, "don't,": Don't hit on us. That, "I understand your loneliness," early on is creepy, sad, hostile and indefensibly intrusive. Show some decency and respect for the deceased spouse and the widow/widower.
I love this video...it is hard to know what to know or say, but I love the cleaning service idea especially. You are such a beautiful example of Christ's love. Thanks for this heartfelt message to all of us! Lots of love and prayers to you, Cody and all the kids. The kids are so lucky to have you sweetie ❤️
If you ever want some friendship or company please get in touch x
I am 34 and lost my husband to COVID 3 months ago. I appreciate your videos so much.
Sorry to hear that. My heart goes out to you - especially this holiday season. I have a grief program that starts again this coming tuesday. Here's the link
happinessadvocates.vipmembervault.com/products/courses/view/1054198
Katrina as it happens I can honestly say I do know what your going but yes I hate when people say that too when they don't know , but I lost my husband to COVID too Jan. 13th. and I am 62 yrs. old so even when your older it's still just as hard at any age , I'm so sorry for your loss , for me it was worse I think because we both had it and I couldn't even go to hosp. to say goodbye, some people have told me , well at least you got to say goodbye thru facetime ,NO it seems like it made it worse for me, I missed holding on to him we were married for 43 yrs. I'm sorry for ranting on to a stranger but sometimes it helps me.
I'm sorry for all your losses. I lost my wife 5 years ago at age 37. It's still hard to be happy and future thinking. I feel frozen in time. I'm not dating or interested in dating. If you feel stuck you're not alone. If you feel like moving forward I 100% support you. I will be praying for all of you.
@@conniehuddleston6870 I lost my wife-she was 62-me 64. I think losing your spouse after you both worked so hard and now you enter your "payback years" you have earned and to have them ripped out of your hands is really tough! You look forward to those years now as its "your turn". We got 2 months of retirement before she passed and out hourglass ran out-while we were expecting 10-15-20-why not isnt that the norm? But evil hiding cancer had other ideas! So now after all that work you sit alone and the anticipated trips are gone-the vacations as well. Its never a good time for anyone but in your 60s you really lose it all when you had so much to go. You have my sympathy and condolences.
I lost my husband 12 days ago to Covid. He was 34 years old and my true love in life. Now I am all alone with our two years old twin daughters. I dont know what to think, how to move forward now...without him every day, every moment seems impossible. We had our whole future planned so beautifully and now every dream we ever saw together is just gone. This wasnt supposed to happen. I didnt deserve this. He was my forever...and now I am alone forever. I cannot move ahead like this.
Gosh, you are so sweet and said all the right things, exactly! Im a widower at age 59, and lost my sweet love a little over a year ago. That judgement thing is real and didn't even occur to me until you talked about it. God bless you!
You will see him in heaven. I finally started telling people I hope that makes you feel better, because it does not help me at all. And the “I could never date” when they are happily married.
I was shocked when 2 people started talking to me about dating sites 4 months after he died.
We knew he was terminal for 4 days
Hi Donna , how are you doing
@@donnaharris8722 I’m so sorry about all of that okay. No one deserves to go through such, I pray God grants you peace and happiness again.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS! (Sorry this is long) I lost my husband of 32 years three years ago in October of 2017 to a freak accident. He was 55 and in excellent health and because of that, he saved 4 other peoples lives through his gifts of his beautiful heart, liver and kidneys. It helps me knowing that but it doesn't make it any easier. I reached out to an old friend (after becoming quite lonely at the 2 year death anniversary) to have someone to talk to and it has since turned into a long distance romantic friendship. He was my high school sweet heart and had been divorced for 15 years. I didn't once think it would turn into anything other than a friendship because the thought of dating another man made me sick. I went back and forth on pulling away and pulling close to him. I do feel judged and I don't want to feel sad anymore and he also understands that (technically for now) it's a threesome as I will never forget my husband. May God bless you and all us widows young and old alike.
I'm so sorry for your Loss. I'm proud of you for navigating and moving forward. Your previous spouse would want you to be happy and find more love. It doesn't replace and never will. Only adds more love. Thinking of you - widow warrior!💕💪🏾
💞👍
I cannot thank you enough for this . I’m a widow of five years. My friends won’t leave me alone about dating! I have nothing to give , I don’t want another man . Period. I feel disrespected and misunderstood. I lean on Jesus every second. Thank you, thank you , bless you .
A lot of what you have talked about rings so true for me as a relatively new widow. So, Thank you Sweetheart & just know I give you my deepest sympathy for your loss. God Bless🙏❤️
You are right on track. I lost my husband 6 months ago he was very sick and as someone mentioned I am enjoying the peace and quiet and learning to enjoy each day. I loved my husband and he loved me so each day I am learning to move forward and to laugh again. Thank you for your video. ❤❤❤
A close friend lost her husband of forty plus years, and the comment she told me that was said most often to her, and that would upset her, was, "l know how you feel!"
No, you don't, your husband is still living!
People do Care, but as much as we care, we Need to Think before we say something that could be more harmful than not.
Thank you for educating everyone by taking the time to put your thoughts out, it's really needed.
I'm sorry for your loss, l know that it is undying love that helps with this personal loss.
I love Jesus too. He spoke to me in a dream recently and said alone and in a multitude I am with you even during a panic attack
I lost my wife in 2021 to covid. We were married when she was 21 and I was 23. I'm 67 now and it's getting easier most days but I'm still healing. I live alone on a ranch so there's always something to do and that also helps. We are both Christians so I will see her again someday when my times up.
❤❤❤
I’m a widow with seven kids. My hubby’s been gone for three years. It’s hard to greave with this much responsibility. Just cause your strong didn’t mean you not hurting.
Thank you. I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my darling husband of 33 years marriage, 2 years ago. I have no kids. My friends who are widows are the only ones who understand. My family were around for a few months, but then left me. You are so brave. I admire you so much. I send you love and blessings. Jesus and his Angels help me too. 💚💙💜🙏🙏🙏
I feel your feeling ..
I like u really alone life very hard
I love u so so much i need u I make u so so happy every time I love kids well u make my kids 👪👪👪💍💍💍😍😍😍❤❤❤🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🙋🙋
I agree-sadly no one knows what to tell you. Omg I’m so tired of hearing “you’re strong”and you get over. I know loved ones want to help, but omg just text and say “hi I’m thinking of you”. Don’t need advise. Kamille please be strong and do what you need to do for yourself. One day at a time. Sometime you need some private times. I totally relate. I lost my mom this August and my husband at the same time. It’s very difficult.
I agree with every word she said in this video lost her since 2 years ago she left a very beautiful daughter behind thanks so much for this bless you ❤️
I lost my husband and I experienced all of those things too. Your journey is yours alone.
I am a widow of 7 years I am still grieving for my husband miss him so much thank you for this video
Same.
I’m A Widow to my husband left me with 6children,thanks for this video really support me.I’m a widow,I’m an Orphan and I raise my children are Orphans,I don’t have any support who can support me I’m just struggling with my Children work hurt to see if my children can survive 😢😢😢😢you’re not lied it really hurts,I feel that pain too.😰😰😰😰sometimes I go through with anxiety for that lose control but what it support me is praying only🙏🙏😰😰😰😰.