Asmr - From september ‘til forever (Pages 1-6)
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- Опубліковано 15 лис 2024
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2010
September 1, 2010
For those who grew up by the sea, autumn always seems to arrive suddenly, tangled with nostalgia. Even though it's just as hot as August, the heat feels different-sharper, like a hot frost creeping in. The air has changed, the colors have changed, the whole feeling of the world is different. Autumn is like a cigarette after sex, autumn is a melancholic summer.
I've often wondered what it would be like if summer lasted forever-an endless party, an eternal festival. But honestly, I don’t think I could handle that much heat. Autumn comes at just the right time, like the universe knows exactly when you’ve had enough. And then, just like that, autumn steps in with its gentle chill, offering relief, a reminder that everything has its season, and nothing lasts forever-not even summer.
I had a chaotic year, and I’ve felt lost, like I didn’t know what planet I was on. But that summer, I bought a video camera, and everything started to click into place. That's when it dawned on me that I needed to follow what I felt. It was the only clichéI ever liked. I was still suffering from the breakup with Magdalena, even though deep down, I knew there was no chance we’d ever be together again. Still, I hoped. She was a girl from the future with a vibe straight out of the past. She had her own style, something unique. People thought she was crazy because of the way she was, but she wasn’t crazy at all. She was just different. She was miles ahead of me, light years, really. She liked me, sure, but only as a friend. I didn’t fit her type at all. She wanted those indifferent, strange artists-the weirder, the better. I wasn’t weird at all. Hey, I had thousands of friends, always out where the smoke hung thick and the drinks never stopped coming. I was the spark in every conversation, the guy people gravitated toward. Talking to everyone, running my mouth, the opposite of chill. We broke up on August 7, 2005, after a fight straight out of some romantic movie-full of drama and shouting. After that, I hit rock bottom so hard all I could eat was watermelons until summer faded out. I tried to forget her, tried seeing other girls-nothing special. It felt good for a minute, at least I wasn’t alone. But then I’d get home, sit in the quiet, and it was just her. Always her.
I drank on the beach, I had the greatest stories, cracked jokes, kept the conversations going. Charisma, they said. My stories were warm blankets of hope, love, and a little fun. I liked making people laugh, but laughing wasn’t really for me. Laughter wrinkles your face; I kept my laughs in my head. Didn’t need to stretch my lips to pretend I was happy. We hit the beach bars every weekend; life here was laid-back and easygoing, met all kinds of people, all kinds of girls. But none of them came close to Magdalena. Maybe that’s why I suffered. It was like a wall between me and falling in love again. I didn’t think it was possible after her.
4
The sea, though-it was the perfect distraction for a heart running on empty. Almost every time I went out with some new girl, it was by the sea. The sea was a natural substitute for a lack of love. It filled the empty spaces, took the place of what was missing. Whenever love failed me, the waves were always there, steady, constant, and indifferent, giving me just enough to keep going. Didn’t need long to figure out if a girl was a fit- ten seconds, tops. Sometimes, just a glance at her picture was enough.
But whenever I talked about Magdalena, something lit up inside me. Friends said you could see it, like a moon behind my eyes. Some people say it’s not good to compare, but I couldn’t help it. It was like living in endless summer nights, and now all I had were scorching afternoons with no shade, the heat pushing forty degrees. I didn’t want to compare, but deep down, something felt off, like a part of me was still stuck in that other time, where everything was a little softer, a little easier.
Born and raised in Constanța, a port city on the Black Sea coast in Romania. I called it Constangeles, because it had a life to it, like Los Angeles back in the 60s. Now, I figure it's just its own thing. Constanta is Constanta, and that's all it’ll ever be. I was in my late 20s, still living with my parents and my brother, rapping over melancholic beats and spinning out the best summer love verses. I was a star before I even knew what being an artist meant, or maybe I was always an artist but just didn’t see it. I was signing autographs before my first song ever dropped. Never had a radio hit, but hey, a lot of people knew my name, and I was kind of happy. I knew I’d blow up in the future.
Everyone knew me as Criss Blaziny-that was my artist name, but my real name is Cristian.
5
I wasn't making a dime off the music, just getting by on a cameraman gig at a local TV station for $300 a month. But I was happy enough. I needed more-more money to pour into the music, the gear, the instruments. For filming, too. I was scraping for every penny, and my computer was a pile of junk that barely worked. Everything was a struggle, but what could I do? Just keep grinding, keep dreaming.
Started a UA-cam channel in August 2007. By 2010, I’d racked up almost 2 million views. Big deal at the time, though I didn’t know it. I thought that was just how things went. Felt like it was all supposed to happen. I didn’t realize how much it mattered, how big it could’ve been. Too busy looking the other way.
On the night of September 1, 2010, I was in my room with Alexandra, sharing a glass of cheap wine. The kind that leaves a slight burn in your throat but warms you up just the same. We had known each other from way back, around the 2000s, when we both used to hang out at the same internet café. Back then, she was always surrounded by rich boys from my city, and I was just the broke kid on the sidelines. I never imagined we’d end up like this, years later, talking like old friends with no walls between us. I talked too much, partly to hide my shyness, and partly because I was afraid that the silence might make her see that I wasn’t as strong and careless as I pretended to be. But as we drank and talked, something shifted. There was a sense of comfort, a connection that hadn’t been there before. When the wine was gone and the room was quiet, we ended up in bed together. It wasn’t just about the sex-it was about feeling something I hadn’t felt in a long time. Afterward, lying there with her, she started telling me about a friend of hers.
I am obsessed with your aesthetic videos
"I wasn't weird at all," you say whispering while standing next to random people hanging out at the beach.
In all seriousness, though, this is definitely one of the best asmr channels, very underrated.
They knew! Those lying down and couples on the chairs came daily, and I gave them a book that they enjoyed reading.
This video made my evening
Loveeeee ♥️♥️
Did you take this footage? Where is this beach located? It’s so beautiful 🫶🏻
Yes! All the shots for my channel are taken by me, except when I'm in the frame and the camera is hand held
@@asmrini it looks dreamy, thanks for making these!
so beautiful
I thought you had forgotten about me. :))
@@asmrini no i watch just don't comment very often!
@@mrboogeymanasmr you are like me:)))
Please upload more, I want to know what happens next in the book 🥹 Everything you post here is art
Hahhaa soon next 4 pages ♥️