Specificity and Concrete Language | how to write vividly
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- Опубліковано 9 лип 2024
- A very specific detail about me is that I'm weirdly obsessed with specificity. specificity inception intensifies
MORE WRITING CRAFTY STUFF:
Show Don't Tell: • Show, Don't Tell | wha...
Symbolism: • How to Use Symbolism |...
Point of View: • The Ultimate Guide to ...
How to Write a Short Story: • How to Write a Short S...
Flashbacks: • Using and Incorporatin...
Inciting Incidents: • Inciting Incidents | W...
MY SHORT FICTION:
☾"I Will Never Tell You This" in The Puritan: puritan-magazine.com/never-tel...
☾"Solarium" in The Minola Review: www.minolareview.com/shaelin-b...
☾"Barefoot" in The Fiddlehead [print only]: thefiddlehead.ca/issue/282
☾ "Wishbone" in PRISM international [print only]: prismmagazine.ca/2020/04/19/pr...
TIMETAMPS:
0:00 - Intro
1:37 - Vague language
3:02 - Abstract vs concrete language
6:24 - Enhancing specificity
11:10 - Extended example
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You ever just wanna make up words?
"My dog has spent the ten minutes spumpling around in the backyard."
"The potion smelled rather kerpid."
"As soon as he heard his name, he vreened to attention."
(This is from Douglas Adams' "Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy") "Hey -- you sass that hoopy, Ford Prefect? Now there's a frood who knows where his towel is at."
Many of the greatest writers do this! Bit tricky to get it right though. The word has to be such that the reader can intuitively get a sense of what it means without googling it and being frustrated when they find nothing.
Faulkner did it all the time, as did other authors.
"I stuck the drain snake in and wangled it around"
"You can't wear that, you look slungey"
Actual sentences uttered by my grandma
@@janesullivan692 "Bring back ol' timey slang!"
Shaelin's writing advice always miraculously swoops down at the right time to save me
fax
What I learned from this:
Details for detail's sake can make a text longer and more boring if the extra information doesn't: make something vivid, tells us something about the character or tells us something about their relationship, or take about as many words to say it detailed as the vague version would have used.
Also, the amount of details you use can say something about the character. The ‘difficulty level’ of the wine says something about their knowledge or noticing some fashion thing can show their eye for detail.
Abstract language is usually best for intentionally unsettling the audience or reader. For example, if a normal character says “I had some fun after work,” you have no idea what that means and it means essentially nothing. But if a serial killer says “I had some fun after work,” now the reader is imagining what horrible and disgusting things they did. Did they kidnap someone? Murder puppies? Lock a family in their home and burn it to the ground with them trapped inside? We don’t know, but sometimes that intentional vagueness is good because the unknown is usually more terrifying than the known. This can also be used for subversion-imagine if a serial killer says “I had some fun after work,” and the person they’re taking to is immediately on edge, but then later it’s revealed they played mini golf with their kids or something. There are a handful of these specific situations where vagueness can be used in a powerful way, but like you said in almost every other scenario it only weakens the narrative.
The multi-tiered examples were great. You really *showed* the difference between specificity in how you describe something vs specificity in what you describe and how that can tell us something much deeper.
When you said “beautiful painting” I pictured the scream 😱
Coming back at this because Shaelin's channel is like a goldmine of advanced writing techniques
Watching this at 1:30 am. Not registering any of the writing advice, very helpful by the way, thank you. Just staring at the salt lamp in the background and comparing it to the nearly identical salt lamp on my desk.
good luck on your books everybody, get some sleep
"We had fun at the park"
I pictured myself sleeping under a tree's shadow, and that's how you catch an introvert, guys
m i n i d o n u t s
r i g h t
who’s not having fun eating m i n i d o n u t s
@@tltdnll t i n y d o u g h n u t s
Does this comment have a subtext?
That final passage of the three is excellent. It's tangible and very sad; not just making me want to know more about these characters, but making me feel there IS more, I just don't know it yet. You've created a reality effect, offhandedly, just as an exercise for a how-to video. That's pretty darn impressive.
that's the power of specificity for ya
My friends and I were just talking about this earlier today when they critiqued my flash fiction piece haha. (We always reference your videos and the icon you are omg.)
ok but that is so sweet though my heart!!
When you mentioned combat boots, I immediately pictured Amanda Palmer, then you kinda crushed my picture when you mentioned YA character - but then again young Amanda Palmer could perfectly be a YA hero.
I remember reading about a creative process and this writer was saying how the pleasure of the writer was to choose how to portrait a scene. You're in a restaurant and if you really pay attention to the details, there's a whole universe there - later on, if you want to write about that specific place, you can choose to talk about the scent of fried onions and red wine or you can choose the buzzing A/C and the golden cutlery. When you were there you experienced everything together, but afterwards you can create infinite different spaces out of the same experience.
The "Merlot" instead of just "wine" really captured me heheh
Thanks for the video =)
Your restaurant retelling is such a great illustration of this technique - what do you, the storyteller, want to bring your audience's attention to about what happened? That's the goal, put the metaphorical spotlight on parts of the experience, so the audience more deeply gets what it is you're trying to share with them through the story
Joriam Ramos I was terrified when I saw your comment because I’d just watched a video with Amanda Palmer in it and then closed it to watch this one and saw that this was the first comment, and now i’m convinced that the internet is watching me
@@hellothere2464 oh no no no, you got it all wrong
AMANDA PALMER IS WATCHING YOU. RIGHT NOW. RUN.
@@JoriamRamos We'll be hearing about you on her Patreon soon.
Regardless of my comments below, yes, there are times when specificity is needed.
But sometimes it’s better to leave it vague when attention doesn’t need to be drawn unduly in a particular direction
As my own personal preference, I would prefer a vivid/specific detail even if it's not ultimately *crucial* to the story to a vague one in most cases, because for me it makes the writing more vivid and more interesting. But of course there are times you might choose to be vague and if done with intention that's fine, but the purpose of this video wasn't to say 'specify everything always at all times, vagueness is always bad' but just to show how specificity can enhance your writing and how to do that. All writing advice is circumstantial and should be applied as needed for the specific piece, I kind of feel like that should be inherent!
I agree with Shaelin's comment above me. Specificity is usually a fantastic way to create a vivid image without going into long, useless detail about things that don't need to be talked about so much.
@@ShaelinWrites Again, fair enough. There are times when I have found need to be more specific. "Something" is an occasional offender. Also, "It." That's actually a bigger one for me. Sometimes I need to pull the reader back into what "It" talked about in the prior paragraph.
Agreed. Specificty is great, but not always great. Over describing can lead to boredom and page flipping. A good rule of thumb is, is the information important or necessary. If the character walks into a kitchen and there is a table with a white lacey table cloth, do you describe it in detail or even mention it? It all depends on a few factors. Would the character notice? Should the character have noticed? Is it important to the story? A rainforest is beautiful, with vibrant greens and browns, but does the character think that way? If they were an art major, they might notice, but most people think in vague terms. If they went to.the store to buy camping gear, we all might have some idea of what that is, this is where specificity and vague can be combined. I don't want to know the characters shopping list, unless it's vital.to the story. Nothing will make me flip pages faster than going down the rabbit hole of details that aren't necessary. Sure, the character stopped at the store and bought several things, such as a sleeping bag and some pogey bait, that's junk food and snacks, but if it isn't necessary to know, I don't want to read the list. The fact they stopped at a store might be the important factor. Perhaps that's why they were late getting home,, so the didn't stop the home invasion, or that's why they walked into the middle of it. Anyway, it was good advice. There are many different styles in writing, and preferences in readers. My personal difficulty is writing an emotional, over the top character, because I'm a calm person. Fun stuff. Some of the best writings are before the editor get hold of the work. Lol. Have fun writing. I need to read something from her, since I enjoy her videos.
These tips are amazing! But, if I may, I'd like to bring a caveat here: these great techniques won't always be avaliable, depeding on the situation if you're using 1st person or 3rd person limited. Let me use you as an example. You said you don't understand a thing about wine. Wel, if I'm writing in your perspective, I can't detail the wine you're drinking because of that specificity of yours-unless you spot the bottle and read its label, for example. That said, a ton of cool stuff can be done, like making you think about the wine, and asking yourself why it had that name or anything like that. On the other hand, we can think about totally different character, one who is a master sommelier. The way she'd respond that very same glass of wine would be freaking different! Oh, my... writing is so fun, haha. Thanks for the vid! :D
For sure, you have to pick details that make sense for your character and the situation :)
I agree! Also, in 3rd person limited, sometimes leaving out the detail can be showing in and of itself. In a quick example like “she bought some food for lunch”, the lack of specificity might mean that the character is distracted and worrying about work, and just grabbed the food off the shelf without thinking. Or maybe the character just does not care about food in any way other than providing fuel for her body. However, for those examples to work well one must ensure that the rest of the writing IS specific and vivid - otherwise the readers will not notice the contrast. Overall, this was a great and thought provoking video :)
@Duarte VGC @ShaelinWrites
I disagree with your conclusion. Let me use your example as an example. If you're writing from Shaelin's perspective (ooh we're getting meta), the *specificity* of her not knowing what kind of wine it is, is descriptive of her character.
Firstly you make me laugh out loud, I love how you talk about things.
Secondly, as a mother of small children, I can tell you that the first versions of your sentences and paragraphs are basically how young kids tell stories (ie light on detail because their memories aren't great yet and they're not able to distinguish important from unimportant detail well).
As we get older we crave detail and we have the capacity to glean meaning from that detail, from years of built up associations.
Tl;dr tell stories like a grown up, not a small child, by using specificity :)
Specificity would be so much easier if it wasn't comprised exactly out of writers' most feared kryptonite: Indecision...
Thanks for the great vid Shaelin!!
Everytime you put up a video I think, "DANG IT! Now I have to revise everything AGAIN! I mean... I have to revise specific chapters 1-3434342 again."
This was really helpful, especially the 3 examples at the end. A lot of times my descriptions are just on par with the second example unless there's a really important detail I'm trying to convey
You are my Creative Writing Course, no other course had so many helpful suggestions.
"You could have picked up somethings to make a nice dinner, or you could have picked up somethings to murder and hide a body"
These are the same thing tho...
Congrats on your story acceptance! I'm very excited to read it.
thanks so much!
Thank you so much, this was an insightful lesson I needed to improve my writing. I have clearly understood what vague sentences , abstract sentences and concrete sentences are. It is important to clearly portray what you exactly mean and for each word let it be more objective than subjective.
As always, perfect vid
I've never been early, I love your channel, thank u for all the videos!! I appreciate you so much😭
I'm happy about two things. 1. Great thoughts in this video. 2. Your delivery, Shaelin, has improved greatly over your youtube career. Good job. 3. I now know that you go to the store for murdering supplies. Copy. Not moving to Canada.
And, it would be totally sick of you could punch a raindrop. You should try. Use those skills while murdering men. Go.
I have been loving your videos for the past couple of months. Many of them I rewatch multiple times!! You've really helped me on my writing journey, thank you 🥰
I agree as long as that specificity is relevant. When details feel unconnected or I don't have a sense of why a detail is brought up, it's both distracting and tedious. Somewhere in the writing process, the author should comprehend each passage's function(s) and eliminate the superfluous. In editing, I think of this as “tuning in” the story, reducing the noise and boosting the signal.
I stumbled upon your channel just yesterday and you're my new podcast, went for a walk yesterday and it's INSANE how much you're kinckstarting me to write again - I meant to write for a comp in June, then froze in front of the paper, and then I found your videos and back to super motivated. Still frozen, but super motivated. Thanks so much for these videos Shaelin, subbed immediately! x
This was so useful! I realized I had been using specificity, and now know the areas I need to work on a bit more to develop that! Thank you!!!
"Who's not having fun eating mini-donuts? No one. That's an objectively fun thing to do. And if you disagree with me... I don't know... that's kind of messed up of you."
GENIUS GOLD! OMG You made my week!
Having multiple learning disabilities, I struggle a lot with use of language and sentence structure. I study as much as I can, but still feel like I know nothing about writing. I haven't seen many videos like this and I really needed it. Thank you ❤️
your tips are so helpful! thank you!
Ha, ha, I love your sense of humor. Your comparisons made me laugh out loud. I liked the 3 different versions because it showed immediately how much you can improve with a few simple descriptions. Thank you.
I love this and I find this very helpful. I run into these things when I am editing. I know what I meant, but I can see why someone else might not. I think this video is very helpful and thank you Shaelin :)
6:38 Shaelin demonstrates "show don't" tell by revealing she's Canadien through her preference of maple trees
These tips help not just with writing but with life in general.
This video is a great lesson... you are an amazing teacher ( and of course writer). Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge.
Shaelin - Well done. I needed this one. My writing is stronger on plot, characters, and scenes, but much weaker with the actual language. (I know, I know, the language IS THE WRITiNG!)
The examples were extremely helpful. Thank you for the great video!
I found this video to be entertaining, as well as educational. Thank you for always providing valuable content.
Awesome video. I totally agree that specificity in writing can make a significant difference. It's an area I hope to improve upon, in my own work. 😃💝
Thanks for the video! Really appreciate the tips
The first version reminds me of my first drafts where I'm just trying to get the main movements written without getting bogged down with specifics. Plenty of time to tweak later!
Thank you for your videos! It’s helping me a lot!
Lol this was very informative but man i laughed about the mini donut part and the "murder someone" or the " painting is beautiful I'm sure we all know what that is right" 😂
very well done and informative, thanks
One thing sort of related to specificity that I hate to do, but that I think is a key to improving your writing, is to always be asking if what you've written is interesting to you as a reader. Like, if this is just some book you picked up at the store, would this make you want to continue reading? I hate it because it's hard. It really puts the pressure on because you're pushing yourself on every sentence, but it does reap rewards.
thank you so much for the video shaelin! i have really been looking at show don't tell differently thanks to you and i can see how it had been affecting the quality of my writing directly!
Thanks for your help!
Yes, and I'll add that this works even when the word isn't real. SF/fantasy authors invent specific terms all the time. Robin Hobb can let me picture "witchwood" with the wrong color and grain, as long as I'm interested. It's more important to engage the reader than to control them.
This is a really great topic.
Excellent, thank you.
"Not a flip-flop but a combat boot" 😆LMAO😆
This video along with your show don't tell video are really helpfully for me, though its taking some time, effort and patience to implement it in my writing. Lately my sentences have felt kinda repetitive and limited. But i think specificity can open up a new repertoire of prose for me without my writing sounding/reading fanciful or pretentious.
I've made an effort and succeeded in creating less fanciful sentences but it seems as though i've lost the ability to paint a scene clearly and well. (Talk about being vague)
Its interesting in your examples how the details you expressed give rise to situational subtext the reader can infer. Even in giving detail more detail is created that's left unsaid that can be inferred.
Anyway, back to the grind. Gotta watch this video a couple more times and mark up my composition notebook. Great job and thanks.
I'd like to here your thoughts on the art of 'Telling' or explaining as you put it.
So happy they helped!
Hi Shaelin! I loved this video, and your channel as a whole. I have been watching a lot of your videos lately and have found them to be really inspirational and insightful. I have some experience writing creative nonfiction, that's always been my go-to genre, but recently I've started to venture into fiction--short stories specifically. Something I'm struggling with a bit is finding the balance between the inclusion of specific details that I personally find interesting and resonant, and knowing when and how to dial back those details during revision. I think my short stories generally have an "all over the place" feel to them and I struggle a bit with ensuring that all the details I've included are absolutely necessary and relevant to the story and characters. I'm naturally a very visual and description-oriented writer and while many of the details I include in my stories feel relevant or informative to me, I'm learning that they don't always come across that way to readers. Curious if you have any insight or suggestions? Or maybe you've already discussed an issue like this in a previous video I haven't had to chance to watch yet. I'd love to hear what you have to say!
It can definitely be tricky and different people have different preferences for this! Some would prefer every detail to be as necessary as possible, others are fine to include a detail because it's descriptive and interesting even if the story doesn't hinge on it. Usually I try to think of it as 'does this detail teach us anything?' If the detail doesn't teach us anything interesting about the world or character, I might cut it during revision, but if I feel like it reveals something I'd prefer to keep it. I think it also helps to make sure that if you are using details to reveal character or theme or anything like that, that they all work together congruously. Basically, making sure they all 'point' to the same conclusion, rather than being contradictory, which can be an issue when you have a lot of cool details that you like but some have to go because they contradict what you're ultimately trying to say. It also I think just takes practice and getting lots of feedback from others to help you identify when you might be a bit redundant!
@@ShaelinWrites Thank you so much for your answer! Everything you said makes a lot of sense and I'll keep it all in mind as I approach my next revision. Cheers!
@@StaciaHillGoldNuggetAquariums Happy to help
Thanks for the tip. I write flash fiction. I need to be concise and very specific and, yes, sometimes I miss the mark. I will be paying closer attention now.
I love your videos. Have you ever thought about doing a podcast? Many of these videos would translate very well to an audio-only format!
That was very helpful!
I love your examples of what "fun at the park" might be haha :)
1:35 Vague & Abstract language
3:10 Abstract words
Hi, Shaelin! Thanks for this.
Thanks for the education, Shae
you're very welcome!
I'm so glad I was able to tell you're Canadian by the way you said "about"
I haven't lost my midwesterner!
me: *constantly insists I Don't Have an Accent*
every non-canadian I know: *constantly mocks me for my obvious Canadian accent*
@@ShaelinWrites oh I'm from Wisconsin, I've been told I sound Canadian too. I know your pain!
"Vaeahg"
I love your outfit
Finally, a specific explanation of specificity and what it's for. Thank you. Also, I haven't watched many of your videos yet, but what is that stuff in your cup? It says tea, but it doesn't splash out or move at all when you shake it around.
Probably it was matcha!!
4:50
Me and my writing buddy watching this: *both looked to the painting we were using as a prompt* Well-
I struggle with detail and specificity. It is an ingrained bad habit. One word I use too much is "seem", but this word is not as vague as you might think. So many of our strongest emotions are preceded by an impression, or something that "seems". So much of our cognition is made up of things that seem. It's easy to use this word too much (at least it is for me), but I believe it has a legitimate place in our prose.
If possible, could you talk about different types of publishers for different types of books?
Good examples
This video tho 😍😍😍😍 Learnt so much thank yoooou
I currently read Harlan Coben books and view your videos. Everything you teach is clear this way. How to be a master of the written word.
(UK)
Nevertheless, it depends of the importance of a parahgrap to the wole story... 'Cause a novel it's very, very, very, very long; hence there are some parts that you don't have to describe and others that you should....
Kidnapping is quite fun. LOL. Good video, as always. Very helpful! Thanks.
Could you do a video on suspense?
Love ur vids btw
My 11th grade high school English teacher obsessively repeated, "Concrete imagery! Concrete imagery! Give me concrete imagery!" when she gave writing assignments. I honestly think this is the first and last bit of writing advice anyone needs.
Thanks for another great video, I can definitely use a lot of your tips :) And giving us concert examples really helps understand and visualize the differences. Just a thought, or maybe question, do you see any risk for a conflict between being specific and info-packing? Lets keep your example, and lets say we don't specify what freedom feels like to our characters but gives the reader an opportunity to just imagine what freedom feels within themself. Or not tell what the sisters were arguing about, but just say something like "yesterday we argued all night, but today were we going to xx and had a chans to make it up" (not. eng. isn't my first language). Of course, if it's an importen part of the story it's better to be specific, but don't you think the reader sometimes needs a "break" and catch their breath for a while? There's nothing offensive in the question, I'm just a beginner trying to find the balance and happily listening to those of you who have way more experience than I do.
Mini carnival donuts are literally my favorite food ever.
You'd be an amazing editor
I pictured a painting of a stick figure with an oversized head.... /*Sniffles*/ SUCH MASTERFUL BREVITY.
Seeing a few Murakami books on the shelves behind. Bruh so proud.
Sometimes Shælin just slays with the words and it's so nice and clean that you can't even complain 😂
Hey, this was really helpful. I've heard 'show don't tell' a thousand times, but I feel that this video has been a huge step forward in explaining what it *really* means.
Q: If instead of saying that the painting was beautiful, I say "[The painting looked like this], and Bob gazed at it, captivated." This is more specific, and less telly, but if the reader hates that type of painting, does it risk distancing them from the character?
I wouldn't worry about distancing from the character because the reader might have different tastes, this is inherent and unavoidable but also not really a problem. If your character's opinions are so non-controversial to everyone that every reader agrees, they're probably a pretty bland character haha. All that matters is that we know Bob is captivated by the painting, whether the reader agrees or not isn't really an issue and it wouldn't really be possible to choose a painting everyone would find objectively amazing anyway. It's always more important that a character is specific, than that the reader can get on board with and agree with everything they feel, since that's not really possible.
Doesn't matter if the reader likes the painting, as long as the reader is captivated by Bob (is how I feel)
Day drinking?! :D That's so specific.
I really like how well she explains specificity, but at the same time, her expanded examples also seem like a bad idea when it comes to important issues like staying focused on the plot or word counts. The first example obviously was bad because it was so vague, but I think the second example did well enough because her final example turned a single paragraph into an entire flash fiction. It is good to give details, but I felt like a lot of those new details may not be necessary if they weren’t all important to the overall plot. Speaking of which, I don’t feel it was necessary to specify specific brands. Not every reader may be familiar with every brand like doc martens, Merlot(which she herself points out - Merlots are a dry wine, not one of my personal favorites), so for beginner writers I would recommend sticking to more general descriptions like “She threw one of her heavy boots at me.”
An important thing she didn’t mention is the amount of specificity can also tell the reader about the qualities of both the writer themselves and the character - especially if the POV is in first person. Maybe sometimes it’s a good thing NOT to be so specific with every detail because it can tell readers how familiar said character is. Simply describing a shoe as just “a heavy boot” or doc marten could make a huge difference in telling us if they’re low or high class, as a poor family would likely not spend $100+ on those kind of shoes.
Also, I think diabetics would disagree with her about eating donuts…
I guess I'm in love now
hey shaelin:
would you say that it matters the specific amount of time of someone sitting out in the park? i don't like to get specific because i feel like i have to back that up, otherwise it feels arbitrary which just feels.... wrong.
(also, the time i spend in a park or starbucks or walmart or mcdonalds or....--is an INORDINATE amount, when compared to how most of the free world spends their time in places like those lmao. so that's why i'm wondering about this.)
Hi Shaelin. Could you please do a video on what to write in the first draft and, more importantly, what’s NOT necessary to write. Whenever I sit down to work on something I want the first paragraph I’ve written to be so perfect and specific that it makes it hard for me to continue. If you could give me a little bit of an idea of what can be skipped in the first draft and can be added later on, it’ll be VERY helpful.
Thank you so much! I love your videos.
Bye!
I think this is all very individual and up to you! Some people prefer to write their first drafts to the best quality they can manage, others take the approach of writing as quickly as possible even if it's awful just so they have something to work with. There's nothing specific you should or shouldn't include in a first draft, just do what works best for yo.
What about fluidity, soul, and transcendence. Abstract language?
Major English teacher vibes except... Cool and useful and it doesn’t bring me anxiety
would this apply with somehow and if it does how would I replace it
Now I want to try mini-donuts.
I learnt a long time ago to be specific with words. And keep the language simple. Just a question? Would it have been better to open your sentence with the subject - your mother - rather than the verb - when we got home? Both are correct, but I wonder which would sound better?
Part 4 of your video can also be used how not to info-dump and examples you revising it over and over! 👍
What do you think about scholastic publishing?
Pinafore dress & some combat boots hermmm?? 🤔 sounds like someone we know hehe 😘😘🤪
But how to decide which details? How to decide what kind of tree? Or wine or cheese? How to know which choice is more realistic or why one choice is better than another?
History of Wolves was great for specificity. Loved the language in that book. Have you re-read it yet and can we get a review for it? There’s a lot to unpack in that book
I have re-read it! I'll talk about it briefly in my next recent reads video but it's not a super detailed review since I've talked about it pretty extensively before. It really is a masterpiece though!
Damn I need to fix all those vague words now ! Thank you.
I punch a rain drop all the time
Correct: Eating mini donuts is objectively fun :)