How Perfectionism Harms our Children
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- Опубліковано 12 вер 2024
- Most parents aim for the highest standards when raising children. This triggers anxiety and stress that harms both them and their children. In this episode Dr. Shefali helps two parents discover how striving for perfectionism may actually create the opposite effect and what they can do about it.
Dr. Shefali is a NYT bestselling author of The Conscious Parent, and The Awakened Family. She is also a clinical psychologist, an international speaker and a wisdom teacher, integrating Eastern philosophy with Western psychology.
Learn more about her at: www.drshefali.com
Follow her Parenting & You podcast: www.drshefali....
Learn more about Dr. Shefali's Coaching Institute: institute.drsh...
Purchase Conscious Courses: courses.drshef...
“I have to give everyone everything all of the time or I’m not worthy” THIS IS ME 😭 I’d add “& I’ll be abandoned” was so helpful thank you to all of the guests for their vulnerability, and as always, thank you Dr Shefali!
Thank you for sharing your experience.❤🌟
Very,very,very useful! Thank you very,very much!❤❤ dr. Shefali
Thank you very much for this episode, Dr. Shefali. I love both cases❤. The first one, about perfection, which I believe that maybe we all get caught by in all aspects of our life and the second case about how we don't listen and run away from problems which I've also done it. I feel that it is so easy to fall into "run away and don't listen" that we probably do it much more frequent than we think, because of fear, anxiety, etc. Thank you also to these women to share a bit of their lifes and be so brave❤
It's great to hear how the episode resonated with you! ❤🌟
Dr. Shefali has helped me become the mama I’ve always imagined. It’s not easy and it takes a lot of inner work and practice. Every parent and parents to be should follow the conscious parenting method. I am so grateful for you!
Wonderful!
Danke!
Thank you so much
Great episode and very enlightening ✨💫❤
Always so interesting and enlightening. ❤
thank you
Thank you, Dr. Shefali, your podcast is helping me a lot 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
I'm so glad!
I don't know how to say, where to begin, but I want to understand the situation, one year aback i took my 8 years old son to swimming pool for the first time, but he was so shy and resistant that he denied to enter pool with other kids, he was feeling so uncomfortable, on that i got too angree that at first i tried to convince him how happy he will feel inside water, but he was denying continually that i got so dominant, rude and commanding and pushed him forcefully into pool, the poor soul started crying but i was so angry that i keep him holding in and don't letting him out for 2-3 minutes. Actually i want him to have fun like other kids and not to be so frictional with outer world, he was always uncomfortable when i is among some people. On that day i warned him not to came out and left his hands after 2 or 3 minutes, at first he was crying and suddenly something happen inside him that he started feeling the water or don't know what that i just jump from one pool to another, i was so happy, having so much fun, that he was not ready to leave, in the evening people started to turn out and getting ready for departure but he was refusing to come out by saying "mama 5 minutes more, mama 2 minutes more please, again mama few minutes more....." and i was so happy to see him enjoying, having fun, living life to fullest, not bothering people around, even making other kids friends, talking to strangers and not shying. I felt i have achieved what i want to.
I knew i pushed him hard but i still can't understand what if i didn't push him? He is the kind of boy if I don't force him, he can spend the whole day watching others enjoying in the pool but couldn't go inside himself. So how can i understand this 🤔 situation? He is a boy who is never comfortable even dancing just with his own family also, just he me and his father, in a room. If I try to push or convince or even teach peaceful cheerfully he just starts crying 😢.
I complet understand what you experienced, this need to push your boy for him to experience the world. Now why you need to see, is that your action in the moment that is is not feeling confortable are coming from your own desire for him to be outgoing and have. What would it mean to have a child that is shy ? Does it mean failure ? why ? Was it something also that you experienced in your own childhood, this shame of not being an extravert, of taking risks. I am sure there are other ways to help your child in this type of situation respecting is shy essence. Maybe he needs time to observe, maybe he needs you next to him to feel safe, maybe he needs a safety net from you (words, a gentle touch, ...). I don't know you child and what he needs in the memento. however I am sure that you can help him find the power inside him to face the challenges of life.
Thank you for sharing. It's important to balance encouragement with sensitivity. Validate his discomfort, introduce activities gradually, celebrate small successes, and show confidence yourself. Consider seeking guidance from a child psychologist or a coach. Supporting and encouraging without overwhelming is key. 💖
@parentalitealadecouvertede7624 thanks a lot 🙏 for your time and support
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Yes!