Losing My Sister.
Вставка
- Опубліковано 15 вер 2024
- In this video I discuss losing my sister, the grieving process and how to handle grief, growing up with addiction in your family, and my sister overall as a person. I hope to help others struggling themselves or with struggling family members to not feel so alone. I encourage you all to reach out to one another and check in on your loved ones. It can happen to anybody, even when you don't expect it. I love my sister and will carry her in my heart forever. Fly high Cat, RIP.
PLZ donate to my GoFundMe raising awareness and donating to those struggling in the recovery community in my sister honor - gofund.me/6183...
-Make sure to Like, Comment, Subscribe, etc. If you like my video! ☀
-Check out my last video! ➜
• 24TH BIRTHDAY VLOG
✰ SOCIAL MEDIA ✰
INSTAGRAM: @KristiHoward
TIKTOK: @QUEENOFGETTINGBANNED
SNAP: K_HO
POSHMARK: poshmark.com/c...
✰ BUSINESS INQUIRIES ONLY ✰
EMAIL: KristiHoward@WeAreVerified.co
I'm 27 and my baby sister is 25. She's addicted to heroin and meth. She's been a addict since the age of 15. I have nightmares that she's died all the time & it KILLS me. God please guide her and protect her. Please show her the way and let her know she is loved.
EDIT: I appreciate everyone telling me to try and help her & be there for her but I’ve done all I can physically do. I picked her up on the 25th & the next day she stole my car and robbed me of credit cards, medicine, the key to my new car, spent $600 dollars and stole other items even tho I’m a single mother. She gave birth to her son a week ago and he tested positive for Fentanyl, Methamphetamine, and amphetamine. Cps put him in foster care 3 days ago because she won’t go to rehab and she’s still actively using illegal drugs. I’ve called the police to pick her up since she has a active warrant but that doesn’t work either. I still pray for her and my nephew but it’s out of my hands. Please keep my sister & nephew in your prayers!
Saying a prayer for you and your family and your sister. 💕
I’m so sorry Morgan. I’m praying too!
Can you get her in a 3 month program. My 24 year old daughter suffered with addiction for 6 years. She went through 2 30 day programs that didn’t work. It has to be at least 90 days and then a structured sober living home. The neuropath ways in the brain need at least three months. 30 day programs are just a reset.
I’m so sorry about your sister. My son passed from a fentanyl overdose and it has been excruciating for my daughter. She was 18 at the time and is now 21. So many good people are being lost. I’m hoping you are keeping Narcan close in case it is needed. I’m praying your sister makes it out. This problem affects The Whole family and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
I believe they have to stay on suboxone. It’s because the drug has passed the blood brain barrier and traces remain in spinal fluid, the maintenance is needed. I pray for all here, please keep my son T in your prayers
I lost my Sister 4 months ago and the pain is indescribable. I'm 60 and she was 59. Nothing prepared me for a life without her. She died suddenly and unexpectedly of a heart attack. My heart silently screams in pain everyday. Even though she's passed I still worry about her. I understand that grief is a journey and I've just begun mine. My Sister now dwells in the chambers of my heart, but she remains alive in my memories. The sun will shine again one day, but for now it remains cloudy.
I also lost my younger sister 8 months ago. I am so sorry for your loss. I truly understand your pain . Hope you have a good day :)
**hugs** Sending hugs from a stranger, and lots of prayers going up for you. I'm so sorry, and my heart goes out to you so much.
“I’m not sad or afraid of dying because I am just so excited to see her again.” I don’t even have a sister and I felt your pain through your voice... Sending you healing hugs.
This is exactly how I feel
I lost my niece in 2018 and I say the same thing. I can't wait to be with her again.
That’s deep, but I feel you. I suffer with addiction and sometimes I feel like death would be easier for me than to go thru life with this problem. I’m so tired of being sick and than getting better, to only relapse again. This cycle has taken all of my energy and happiness in life. I don’t have friends, no girl friend, my dog passed and my family just doesn’t care. I have nobody, but I bet when I’m gone people will act like they were so close to me and cared so much. People will see how bad you’re doing and run the other way or they’ll kick you while your down. Stay strong and I’m deeply sorry for your loss.
@@cvgodd1432 hang in there. ♥️
Just lost my brother and my mom before that…I feel that in my heart. Hugs and love
I lost my sister to suicide. We were a yr and a half apart. She was my best friend. That was in 2006. I lost my mother in 2014 and my dad in 2021. I have zero family left. I know your pain so well. My sister murdered her bf and killed herself. She was an addict. I love you sweetie. It's so hard. ❤
I’m so sorry for your losses...I lost my brother in 2016 my uncle in 2019 my best friend to suicide in 2020 and my aunt in 2021
I'm so sorry to hear. I wish you all the best.
I couldn’t just scroll by your comment. I am SO TRULY AND PROFOUNDLY sorry for all of your losses. My heart shrunk reading your comment. I only hope you can carry them all in your heart as you persevere and find deep strength within with the people that love you around you 💕
Damn that must be hard
Sorry for your losses
“Grief is love with nowhere to go” ❤️
I couldn't agree MORE!!!!!!!!
Oh my gosh, I love that quote! I lost my 10 year old son 13 years ago. I'll grieve him until I die💔❤
Oh my gosh, I love that quote! I lost my 10 year old son 13 years ago. I'll grieve him until I die💔❤
@@cherishwillis2525 I’m so sorry for your loss❤️❤️❤️
You aren't lying there
I’ve been clean from heroin for 3 1/2 years. I do not look like the stereotypical addict either. I was a functioning addict the entire addiction, still maintained a job and still paid all my bills. I was using on and off for 6 years. Because I snorted it instead of shooting, it was much easier to hide from ppl. Functioning addiction is so overlooked and often disregarded in our society, that’s what makes it even more dangerous. The face of addiction is always only displayed by extremes which is just not the reality for many addicts. I pray for you love, you’re so strong and a wonderful sister. Thank you for making this and inspiring so many ppl to get help.
Getting sober is not all sunshines and rainbows, it’s often the most painful part and when the hardest work begins. Getting to the root of the pain and working through it is never easy but I promise it’s absolutely worth it!!! You are worth it. Your life is worth everything.
I was a functioning addict also. Got clean June 5, 2018. The problem is I’m on a methadone program and the people I work with are really looking down on me for it 😔☹️. It shouldn’t matter , but it does.
I’ve been clean going on 3 years and have a 15 month old I never though I would have the life I live today I hated waking up today I love waking up to my son I am on methadone but I’d rather be on that than shoot up and walk the streets looking for drugs it’s safer and temporary if you make it don’t let the methadone rule you like the herion it’s easier said than done I’m coming down from it slowly it’s possible I know people say this and I’m always like yea yea but if I can do it anyone can I should be dead I’m grateful to be alive my story isn’t finished I pray for everyone still struggling
I was addicted to alcohol. Although different .... but still an addiction. Happy thoughts to you and your journey
Same. Rock on with your sobriety!! 💜💜
I am 14 months clean. In 14 months I moved away, got a better ft paying job, my very own apartment, brand new car & my first baby boy due 7/30. We CAN recover. And we need to do it loudly so those behind us don’t get lost 😞
@@leanneadams2549 I’m on methadone. Everyone’s journey with sobriety is different. As long as we’re not actively using our DOC. Everyone unfortunately is going to have an opinion. Don’t let them drag you down 💜
Losing a sibling is LITERALLY losing a piece of your soul. I lost my brother over two decades ago...and he’s still the first thing I think about when I open my eyes every morning. Huge hugs ❤️
Lost my sister 14 years ago from ovarian cancer!! I feel the same!
Same here. Hugs..
Lost my brother, my best friend, my partner in crime, my confident, my nurturer, my rock...unexpectedly in 2018. No one knows why. I am a broken person. I am not suicidal, but I'm ready to see him again any time. My heart. My past, my future.
@@ladihawke205 😭❤️
@@blondeegirl00 💔❤️💔
“I’m so used to her being gone but I’m also used to her coming back.” This is still something I struggle with.
I didn’t know how to put that into words before.
My sister was 25 when she passed away 20 years ago. I feel your pain...when u cried I teared up. Sibling loss is so underrated. Loosing my sister completely changed the trajectory of my life. I was never the same. I'm happy but never like I was before. I just wanted you to know that I hear you. I so wish I could tell you that it gets better with time..I really wish that. But you learn to embrace the pain. Some days are better than others. Hold on to the memories..they will get you through some really hard times. May you find peace. And may your sister rest in eternal peace.
I'm so sorry for your loss... I'm 12yrs clean of heroin..... It gets to a point where you don't get high.. U NEED it to function, just to get through the day... To stop the pain. The struggle is incomprehensible for someone who has not been there... Your both so beautiful... You did so good making this video.. Ppl are calling their loved ones because of YOU.
Beautiful post!
Omg you’re 12..
Congrats on your sobriety!!! ♥️
Yes you need it to “ maintain the pain”. So proud of you. I been on methadone for 6 years. Xx
Don’t feel bad about not reading something at her funeral tbh. Funerals are for the living and their closure but those who have passed on already know how you feel. Also, don’t regret anything you may have said out of anger. She now understands that you weren’t mad at her but mad at her addiction. I’m praying for your healing ❤️❤️
“Funerals are for the living” - exactly.
Definitely agree with you
I needed this. I lost my fiancé to addiction 6 years ago, and I didn’t speak at his funeral... I still think about it to this day.
@@kristinmurphy849 I’m so sorry for your loss ❤️❤️❤️ I didn’t speak at my grandmothers and it messed me up for a long time until I started to look at how other cultures celebrate the life of those who have passed away. I basically realized that these ceremonies are for the living and to help us cope. Not really for them. Our loved ones already know/knew how we feel about them.
@@kristinmurphy849 I also thought about, what it’s truly the difference between me speaking at their funeral vs me speaking about them now! Now whenever I feel guilty, I literally set aside time to say out loud exactly what I would’ve wanted to say at the funeral.
She said (in that text) that she wanted you to say something about her. So you didn’t do it at the funeral/memorial. But you just did it here. And it was beautiful. Keep telling your/her story. You’ll keep her spirit alive. I’m sure she’s loving seeing all that you’re doing. Don’t worry if you think you’re not making sense or you’re all over the place. We’re here for it. We’re listening. And loving you.
Plus, why aren’t you verified on Tiktok? Just sayin. You’re awesome.
I couldn't possibly say it any better than this. Thank you.
Beautiful words.
*Living your best life is what she would want you to do.* *Love never dies.*
Exactly. Your sister would want you to live your life to your fullest.
Thats true because she is in heaven and it is beautiful there i would get a sb7 spirit box and download the signal app off playstore and i promise you can get ahold of her the spiritus app is a great app to.
That’s true, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy for her. You can’t just tell someone to live their best life because that’s what their loved one would want them to do even though it’s genuinely true. But the emotional part of their connection has her beyond emotional.
444 likes
MUCH easier said hun.
I’m so sorry😭 my mom is 36 and I haven’t seen her for 3 years because of her addiction to drugs and she is in prison still using but I pray for her everyday and one day I hope she will get better and I will be able to see her again cause I miss her so much and I love her so much😭❤️
❤ There is Hope.
Hey Kristi, I'm proud of you for sharing this story. A lot of us have lost friends or family members to addiction and you are not alone in your pain. Addiction can be hidden and doesn't "look" the same for everyone, or how most people expect it to look, like you said. Thank you for your words. I know they will help a lot of people. Hang in there. I don't know you but I love you. ❤️
Qppx vh st
Loves this comment💕💖💕💖💕
Beautiful post!
Yes we have Ive had addiction issues ! I saw my nom die of a overdose at 7 my father died of a heart attack from drugs and I never saw him again I lost my Beautiful Cousin 4 years ago to a overdose ! I also know people who have made it too my friend he struggled a long time long time he now has 2 beautiful daughters and a wife and his family has healed he works with youth at a recovery center my grandfather almost past bec his kidney gave out from alcohol from him being in Normandy war world 2 but he chose his family over the drink and passed at 84 he never touched a drink 29 years! He stayed sober he tell us if he drank one drink that be it! That’s how it works ! You think you have control you don’t it takes your body over it’s terrible you get sick and than you want to get numb again! I lost a friend she went and got helped got out relapsed and passed it’s such a terrible cycle and the pain it causes your family not just your own self you are so concentrated on getting that drug you lose the fear of death you don’t care you just want to hide your pain! That seems never ending ! But you always love your family even when you may not show it you love them so much ! May God heal and touch people to release them from the chains and bondage the evil of addiction rebuke it in the name of Jesus please Lord give those strength to fight and break free for themselves and family ! And be with those who lost family and loved ones let them know their loved one is in peace with you Lord they are in your kingdom watching over bec they won’t forget you
Your sister so beautiful I’m sorry for your loss!
I've been battling an opiate addiction for twelve years, I'm 28 and will have three years clean this June. My condolences to you and yours, thank you for sharing this story.
Fare play keep going one day at a time
Congrats on 3yrs👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 One day at a time❤️
You are amazing and strong
@@ericathriftz no u🥺
Really though - thank you so much for the kindness and support. It's the little things like this that keep me grateful for my recovery. I wish you all of the health and happiness, beautiful human!
@@jilla8503 Indeed! Thank you 💓
My mom unexpectedly passed away a month ago. I miss her so much. I called her every day and hung out with her we were best fiends. I’m still waiting for her to come to me some way some how. I feel so lost without her. My heart aches and I feel numb. This is a pain I never thought I’d feel
So sorry for your loss :(( ❤️❤️❤️
I've been there.y heart goes out to you. We'll see them again. ❤️
words literally cannot describe how i feel for you. i am so sorry babe. i pray things get better for you and you. i really do. ❤️❤️
I am so sorry for your loss ❤️
@@shauna6086 thank you
I will be 3 years clean February 26th of this month!! I am so sorry for your lose
♥️
I lost my brother May 2020. Losing a sibling is like losing a limb, a part of you that’s been there your entire life that you now need to figure out how to live without. A piece of me died with him. All those memories, my entire childhood gone. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this too. You two will meet again.
This is devastating. Me and my little brother are best friends. I got his name tattooed on me 5 years ago for his birthday. I cannot imagine this pain. May God give you the strength to get through the pain.
Horrible I lost my mother in Sept 2020. 🌻
Becca, I'm sorry for your loss. I too lost my brother in May 2020. We were the babies in our family. Two years difference in age. We were so close and you were so right sayings it's like losing a limb. My first words were, how do you live without someone that has shared your whole life with you. He was 65 and I was 67. So so hard... I pray God will give you peace.❤️
Very true
In May 2020 I lost my sister. I know how you feel.
I lost my sister several years ago, not from addiction to drugs, but from addiction to men who weren't good for her. The last one ended her life. It's really sad because the things you wanted to say to your sister are the very things I wish I could have said to mine.
@@jc-246 Thank you that means a lot to me.
Omg I’m
So sorry
I'm that sibling. But I have almost 5 years sober now. I've gained the trust of my parents and family back. I'm well into nursing school, of course things are hard. but I'm doing my best.
💘
Wishing you all the best!!
Ao proud of you!!❤️
So**
Wow... that’s like a life time (5years)👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻❤️Hope you take time to THANK yourself for recognizing and sticking to the path of recovery... It’s a very hard road, I lost my sister she was 32, My Brother was 58, my Dad was 47....There is not one day that I don’t wonder what I could of done...It’s so hard to realize that the addict needs to do it....I wish you strength and Perseverance!!!God Speed!🙏❤️🇨🇦🇺🇸
Thank you for this video. I’m 25 I been addicted for 6 years if u saw me u wouldn’t believe it. I look completely normal. My family can tell tho. I sleep all day and isolated myself from everyone. This is my sign to get clean thank you 🙏🏼 may your sis Rest In Peace.
Good luck on your journey!! It isnt easy! I haven't ever used heroin but I have friends who have had used it in the past, friends who I had to let go because they had children taken from them over it and it made it hard for me as a mom to allow them around me & especially my children, but I've also struggled with meth alot of my young adult years. I got clean before I got pregnant with my daughter, and I used again when i let my sister adopt her. I used one time, after that and never touched it again. I have 3 boys now, and I've been clean for over 12 years. It takes effort every single day to chose to be clean. It is not easy, but it is totally worth it. I started using when I was 16 and my parents and siblings were the "dont talk about it" kind of people... I was never offered help or support. No one ever talked to me about it - but they did tell me how awful it was and how horrible of a person I was - so you need to know your addiction does not make you who you are. It doesnt define you. It might control you, yes but you are an awesome person and you deserve HOPE AND LOVE.
Good luck to you love. I’ve been clean from heroin for 3 1/2 years. You can do it, mental preparation is everything. Ppl make it seem like it’s sunshine and rainbows once you get sober when that’s when the hardest work begins. Getting to the root of the pain and validating it is what helped me stay sober. We all believe in you.
you can do it. I've been sober 14 years.It seems like a different life now.It gets easier with time or no one stays sober I promise. Your worth it.Get help
I lost a step brother inlaw to heroine alcohol helped take away my father inlaw father and step father and my mil is in icu with a brain aneurysm from Cocain please get sober. GOD loves you
I lost my bf to addiction & he was 25. I never thought I would lose him. I pray you get the help you need❤️
I lost my big sister 5 years ago. She was addicted to pain killers. She committed suicide. The pain of losing a sibling never really goes away. I still miss her all the time. I still randomly think about calling her before realizing I can't anymore. She was only 42 years old. Bless you and your family.
So sorry for your lost !!😔😔😔😔
🥺
I’m so sorry for your loss.
@Rockford’s Rescues I lost my big brother Bobby to suicide as a result of his own struggle with addiction to painkillers and his own struggle with bipolar disorder which I also have been diagnosed with. I was twenty one when he died and I’m forty five now. I have been alive longer in the world that doesn’t have my brother in it for more years than I ever had had within the world he was in beside me. I’m never going to get over it and I wouldn’t want to because he was just that unforgettable. He was our Bobby and I think about him every day several times a day and I just miss him so much. There’s no one else to be my brother Bobby. I have other brothers that I love too but just, we had a bond with each other and I think it’s very sad that I don’t have a chance to get to know him as my adult self. I would have been so blessed to have been able to share the experiences of this life with him that I am not going to get but I’m just. I believe that I’ll see him again when I get done with living and I forgive him, I think I did immediately because he had to have been in such a world of pain to be able to do that and he was a father, he was a son, so many people that knew him just thought he was special and I would have to agree with them.! I only had him for the first part of my life but he was so significant that I am grateful for that and I am blessed to have had that. I hope that with the passing of time you too will be able to find more solace in knowing your sister is not in pain anymore and she is going to be reunited with you on the other side and I just want you to know I feel connected to you by our experiences with our own siblings and I send you peace.
Your story literally mirrors mine. I’m so sorry for your loss.
I was a meth addict for 43 years. I did my first bump of meth when my dad died of bone cancer . I blamed myself for his death. Turned to drugs . Thru God's grace I'm still around. He's got a plan for me . Now I run to drug addicts and get them to A Christian based rehab . I love what your doing God bless
i’m not religious but good on you man! just know your story is inspiring many
You poor baby. I am so so sorry. My heart breaks for you.
God Bless 🙏
I am so so sorry you had to go through that. God led you to His light
Amazing. Sorry for your loss. I just lost mine three months ago and I’m an addict. So I’m glad you’re clean and helping others xx
I had an argument with my sister 1 hour ago so I went to my room and scrolled through UA-cam and saw this and it made me feel so lucky that I have a sister and I have the opportunity to spend time with her your sisters probably smiling down at you from heaven
Girl...I am literally sitting here sobbing with you. She is a huge part of you, her blood runs through you...and she will always be with you. I don't even know her and I can tell she was a beautiful person inside and out. I am praying for you and your family.
My mom died in 2001. I slept with lights and TV on up until....maybe the last 2 years. I don't know why. Before her death, I was ALWAYS in the dark. Its weird to hear you say that. 😭😭🙏🏻🙏🏻
My mom died in 1995. She’s still with me up until today even though I don’t always try to connect with her. It took me two years just to get thru the worst of it and several more to come to terms with it. 💕🌺
My dear girl, you are a beautiful soul, never be ashamed or embarrassed about letting it out & being who you are. Vulnerability is also a BIG SIGN OF STRENGTH. She is with you, she’s not in pain, and she’s feeling so bad that you are in such pain. Pain is part of the process. I promise, it’s going to get easier. Not go away, no closure. But easier to live with. I’m in the last third of life, and I’ve seen it all. Got 2 sisters, we were all beautiful in our time & all different. Sisters. We have each other’s back!!! Hope this rambling means something for you. 💕🌺💕💗🌼💐
I just lost my baby sister, 4 weeks ago. Drugs and alcohol stole her from me. I spend most of my days now wondering if I had been a better big sister to her if she would still be here. I miss her so much!
😭😭😭😭😭 I'm so sorry for your loss 😢💔🙏😢😭😭
Thank you for sharing your loss and grief! Just remember that most teens cannot understand why you are grieving bc their brains are not mature enough yet. I am in my 50s now. I lost my sister to heroin over 30 years ago. She was in college studying child psychology. She was beautiful and brilliant. She was a majorette and was in pageants most of her young age. Unfortunately, her beauty got her out of trouble so much. I have lost a sister, my mother, my grandfather, and my fiance at 18. You would think I would be a pro with coping by now. I have dreams all the time of my fiance, no one else. I dream all the time that he did not really die. (He was in a horrible accident so they had a closed casket.) I wake up and am sad all day until my brain resets. Not dreaming about them is sometimes a blessing. I have so many people I miss and one day God will reunite us in his time, not mine. I wish I could believe addiction is a disease. It would be easier to accept losing someone through addiction. Praying for you to brave each day and honor Cat by living a great life.
They say when an addict dies, the pain they felt here on earth doesn’t just disappear, it gets passed onto their loved ones.
Stay strong Kristi. I balled my eyes out with you this whole video.
That’s true
When I was 13 I found my 17 year old brother after he committed suicide. Losing a sibling is something that never leaves you. It never goes away. You just learn to live with it. Both of my parents were addicts and my father was a heroin addict my whole life and you can’t beat yourself up with guilt. All you can do is go on the best you can. But don’t ever let anyone tell you when and how you should grieve. I am sending you lots of love and prayers. I hope each day gets a little easier to get through.
I'm sorry for your loss and I'm sorry you had to see that. I send love
Oh my god my My brothers. Brother had a hard life you know his parents would fight my actual brother never really wanted to go over there because there would be just a mess and it would stink I don’t really remember because I was like 9 or 11 years old somewhere around that age and he left his other brother would let me specify my mom married one guy and then had my brother and then that one guy moved to a different place and then married another woman and then they had 3 to 4 kids So now to you now that my brother brother had really bad depression issues So he would give himself stars. I know it one point he just. killed himself. And the unfortunate part was my brother was there he was spending the night there and he found him laying in the bathtub
I’m sorry stay strong God is with you. God Bless.
🙏✝️❤️
I’m so sorry :(
I’m two years clean of fentanyl.. thank u I needed this. Stay strong girl ❤️
You’re doing great. ❤️ congratulations!!
Stay strong. You got it.💕
Thank u ❤️
You needed this and we all need you. Stay strong and fight the fight everyday
One thing u said “it’s a small detail it doesn’t matter” do not discount ur feelings. ALL DETAILS MATTER. They matter to u, they matter! Ty for this video.
I was thinking the same thing when I saw that part. Ty that you typed this to her because it’s so true.
@@lferram1647 it immediately popped in my head and stuck there. She didn’t speak
At the funeral but she’s speaking for her now 🖤🖤
Same thing I thought!! It ALL matters…
We buried my dad in his favorite button up &
my step mom took her life 6 months later & she wrote in a journal to bury her in her wedding dress. Also my dad visited me multiple times in my sleep.
I started suffering from heroin addiction right after, you’re so strong and your sister would love that your keeping her memory alive. Thanks for helping me realize how my sisters and brothers feel. I’m so sorry. ❤️
Please get help you parents wouldn’t want you to turn to drugs. Share there story!! Please we will listen dummy turn to drugs.
You're not alone in this world. Show us all your heart and all it has to offer all of us. Find purpose....share your parents stories and their love. It means more to us than you think.
Honey please take care of yourself ❤️
So sorry xx
@@btana3137 people with pain in their whole bodies and going through withdrawals do drugs. Dummy’s are those who judge without any info
I lost my Momma from covid, then a short month later my sweet beautiful cousin died of an overdose. She lived with us , she was like another sibling to me. I feel so broken and lost. Now her babies have no Momma. Thank you for being real, I needed this . Praying for you and your family darling. 🙏🏻💔❤
@@jc-246 Thank you so much. I truly appreciate it. ❤
I'm so sorry for your loss. Take time to grieve.
This just shattered me. You didn’t say anything out of line, you couldn’t. Your feelings are your feelings. I just can’t imagine.
You lost your sister on the same day I lost my step daughter to suicide. I am an only child so idk how it feels to lose a sibling but losing my step daughter, it's still hard to believe. It's never gonna be the same I do know that. It's just gonna have to be the new normal for us. Thank you for posting this. Its gonna help so many ppl.
Did you not hear what she said? She does not want to hear this.
@@marciegonzalez3967 did you not read she lost her step daughter on the same day to suicide...have some compassion! SMH!!! God people are heartless...why don’t you think about not kicking someone while they are down, the real duck tape bandit!can say anything she F’ing wants to!
I didn't have my brother in my dreams till about 5 months after he passed and it was so real I asked him while crying so hard in my dream "What happened bro I miss you so much what is it like now" and it gives me goosebumps cuz he said he was great and the smile he had on his face was the warmest damn smile I could feel it and when I asked about these purple flowers in the dream he said they can be whatever you want them to be and he changed them from red roses to then white and pinkish flowers I just remember after waking up I was crying so hard in a good way and thinking I just got to actually talk to my brother somewhat about where he is at but as much as he wanted to he only gave me little hints and not big big answers. There is a place waiting for us everyone and I know it's gonna be beautiful and we will be with our loved ones again
wow that sounds amazing. you're right we will all be reunited at the end! sorry for your loss, hope ur doing ok♥
@Rogue Angel 😊😊
@@katherinel8970 thank you so much!! Day by day! 😊
It's a God thing !!!
My sister passed away September 25th 2023 unexpectedly. She was only 37. This body really did hit home. I know the exact same feeling. I can relate so much. I am having such a hard time too. You are so incredibly strong. God Bless!
This makes me not want to consider suicide. I don’t want my siblings to feel this way.
You have to fight
Stay strong friend. I fight the same battle everyday, but i stay for my loved ones.
❤
@@sneepsnorp1404 ❤
Stay strong ❤
I got off heroin two years ago and am slowly rebuilding my relationship with my older sister and she just means the world to me, I relate so much to cat I’m 26 and don’t look like a ‘typical’ addict and I think because I’m pretty and put together no one thought my problems were as bad as a toothless addict on the street. But you can’t judge us from our looks. Your so amazing Kristy
God bless you. I’ve struggled with addiction, opioids. An addiction is an addiction. I’ve always wanted a sister, you’re lucky to have an older one to look up to!
@@HeatherLynseyMusic I hope you’re doing okay in your struggle. ❤️ I hit one year this month off opioids.
Me too when my boyfriend found out he's was in a state of shock he couldn't believe it how good i see hid it
when you become a mom, I know you will make sure your children know who she is. she lives in you.
My mom has struggled with addiction since I was 4. I am almost 16. Your story made me check up on my mom . Thank you 🥺
i feel your pain, i miss my sister so much, i look out my master window everyday at where i buried her, "with her horse", i made a family cemetery and built my home on this property to stay with her. the people that did this to her are in jail for life, thank god , i came by your video tonight, thank you again Den
Thats awesome- I share your pain. My big brother was shot at point blank range with a 22 shot gun, on his own land helping other people. After shooting him- he was cut into pieces and thrown on a fire, and whatever remained placed in a shallow grave. Every day is like losing him all over again, we were like twins and part of me is gone if not more. I will never stop praying they bring those who did this to justice, as no one has been charged. I pray for you and all ❤
I have three siblings that struggle with drug and alcohol abuse, and I fear every day that I’m going to get those phone calls. You’re so strong, and Cat would be so proud of you.
I got the phone call six weeks ago my heart is forever broke.
I have a sister this breaks my heart. The bond of sisters is never ending.
There are so many lessons here. This is so rich. I have to stop and breath. You maybe don't know what an angel you were to her.
This sounds so strange but as I’m watching this video, I am so sad because I can literally feel your grief throughout my body. I’m not saying I know exactly what it’s like to be you and go through this, but I can feel your pain through the screen and I’m just so god damn sorry....
I feel the same way. Bless her heart... so terrible.
you might be an empath
She is with you.. especially when you’re having those grieving moments. And when you talk to her she is listening ❤😢
Yes. She is always there with her. That’s the one comfort that comes after death.
I’m 35, I’ve been clean almost 9 years now but I had started at 15 being around the wrong crowd. I remember in rehab hearing these horrible stories from girls who lived horribly and I would think of how great my childhood was and that it had nothing to do with my addiction. I just have a disease and when I was around ppl using I was easily influenced and before I knew it I was in deep., the withdrawal itself is absolutely horrible. I finally got clean after I had my twin boys and went to rehab and had to fight to get them back. It’s been my reason to keep fighting since . But now I’m at a point of never wanting to go back . I work hard and love my life now but it’s hard to get out of that mindset & feel like you deserve a good life. Your sister was beautiful ❤ even as an addict myself it was heartbreaking watching my sister go through it.. but your story has reminded me that life is precious and I don’t want any regrets ❤❤
Just to comment about why you can’t see your sister in dreams.... Before my grandma died, we agreed that when she passed, she would visit me someway to show me the other side is real. The night she died I did have an experience... but I was waiting for those dreams. Finally I saw her in a dream, I asked her why she can’t visit my dreams more or just manifest as a ghost in front of me! She told me that it takes a certain type of energy out of her to do all of that & it’s something she’s learning. But I see signs of her.... so look for signs from your sister, you’ll know when it’s a true sign. Usually they’ll use the same sign over and over ... like the same bird, feathers, numbers on the clock, songs that pop up... you’ll know!
Butterflies for my daddy.... always. ❤️
A red bird lives in our backyard. My sister loooved red, she passed in 2019. The bird always makes herself visible to me. I open the patio door and she’ll fly right across the yard and sit where I can see her. We call her Leslie bird, after my sister Leslie. She appeared after she passed and we know it’s the same bird bc she’s the chubbiest lil bird and my sister loved to eat haha. Be patient, your sister will communicate with you.
I’m so sorry you lost your sister, it’s a struggle and I can tell you that first hand , I am a heroin addict who has continuous sobriety for 6 years. The hold it has over you is literally controlling and like a broken record, and when you aren’t using it you hurt from head to toe internally and externally. I wish I could take your pain away. I’m thankful I have stayed clean I have a little sister and seeing you hurt makes me thankful I have stayed clean so I wouldn’t leave my sissy alone. I’m sorry sweet girl she will always be with you, she is no longer suffering , heroin doesn’t hold her anymore 🙏🏼😢♥️💙💖
Congratulations on your sobriety 💜💜
I came to say congratulations too! I'm an addict too. (IV Heroin/Fentanyl) & caught a case & have been clean since March 11th. (Almost a month) It's very admirable that you've been able to stay clean. My sister pregnant & still using & it hurts. 💔
Oh honey, seeing this breaks my heart. March 14th I lost my twin sister to a drug overdose and half of me went with her. I’m so terribly sorry for your loss. She was supposed to be my child’s god mother but I know when he or she is born she will live through them.
I know how you feel, just know you will see her again and you will hug her and smile with her again
I’m from Nashville and battled addiction to heroin for ten years and have four years clean. My husband lost his sister to an overdose. You’re right, there aren’t any resources for sibling loss. Thank you for sharing your story and Cat’s. ❤️ ❤️
People do care, it’s heartbreaking. You never know when the last time will be. Addiction is so deep and such a personal struggle.
I am 31 and this coming November will be 10 years since I lost my little brother, at 21. He and I were 13 months apart and we were basically twins ( fights and all). We were so close yet oil and water. When you said " I don't want to maker her death my identity" I personally struggle with this. This is fresh for you all, but get the help you need now. Keep talking to her out loud, she is there always. The pain never gets easier, but the days get better. There will be days when it's full of anger and sadness, but I promise you will also have days filled with joy and memories of your times. This video hit home, and made me feel like I am not alone. The pain is unfathomable , real and so raw. Thank you for sharing. Your sister looked like a beautiful soul, and YOU look so much like her. Stop putting blame on yourself about the things you would change if you could have, she would love you the same if you did all the right things, or if you didn't. Take peace in knowing each passing day we have on the earth is one day closer to being with them for an eternal life. Forgive yourself throughout the healing and just know you can still have happiness through the midst of sorrow, without guilt or pain. Having 24 great years with a sister you love was a blessing. Not everyone gets that privilege's of having that special bond. Much love and healing to you and your family!
Now I'm in school working and trying to get my kids this made me realize going back is not an option.
❤️❤️ You can do this
I’m not even a minute into the video and I can see how much you love her. I cannot express how sorry I am for your loss, and every one else’s loss due to addiction, old age or any type of cause for death. I hope you have peace and comfort
UGH, my heart. You're never alone. I lost my Aunt in 2016 after her liifetime of drug use. It took 4 years for me to get a sign. I was put under anesthesia in 2020 for a surgery. I've been under many times and it's always been nothingness but this time was different. After going under I could see my Aunt standing next to the surgery table, she reached out to me and I stood up and grabbed her hand. When I looked back I could see my body on the table except I was no longer in it. She took me to a beach and we talked about a lot of things. She even told me to spend time with my Nana because she was going to pass and my Nana did end up dying. They're always with us, they never really leave. 😇❤
That’s very beautiful ❤️
Man I literally cry the whole entire time of this video ... I lost my son August 2020 and I will tell you it seem that my grief is worst now but when it happen I screamed all that day. After I went into shock.NowI can’t stop crying and I am very depressed. I got a fortune cookie message that said The cure for grief is motion. I really have to get out of this house. Thinking about exercising and taking long walks.
I feel this in every part of me. My son is battling addiction. He has panic disorder and does drugs and drinks to "feel normal" he says. His panic is so bad he calls 911 BC he feels so scared ..like he is going to die. I tell him the anxiety won't kill him but the drugs and alcohol will. I'm trying to get him help and feel so helpless bc I can't force him. I don't wanna wind up in the comments saying I lost my son. I can totally feel ur pain and I'm so very sorry for ur loss hun. I am not strong enough to handle just the thot of losing my son so you're an amazing and strong human being and plz know ur comment reached me and not feeling alone really helps.Thank you for sharing. Stay strong my dear. Xoxo
@@mistyskipper4094 I hate that your son going through this. It’s so hard to control any addiction. I will keep you and your son in positive thoughts. Thank You so much for your thoughts for me and my situation it mean so much. Nice talking with you. Keep your head up.
@@NikkiClark4033 ty that means so much! I will keep you in my thoughts as well. Xoxo
hi Nikki....I just wanted to say sorry for your loss and as a Father I cant even imagine the pain you are going through. August 2020 is not that long ago. I just wanted to say I was going through divorce years ago and though that is nothing compared to losing your son that after that I started going to a local park and walking and that turned into biking and rollerblading. Exercise helps to clear your mind some and in the process you start feeling better about yourself. It actually can become an addiction but a good addiction. Long walks are my favorite and you can meet some really nice people when exercising. Again I am so so sorry for your loss. Go outside and do what you said....it will give you time to think about things.....it will give you time to talk to your son....and I am sure your son would be very happy that you are out doing something positive.
It's so very hard to get moving when you feel like you just want to die.
I can't imagine losing one of my kids or grandkids, i hope i don't ever have to, and I'm terribly sorry it happened to you.
My sister was 6 years older than me and was schizophrenic/bipolar and suffered from addiction. My whole life I was so frustrated with her because I wanted a normal sister. A normal sister relationship like most sisters are fortunate enough to have. We were never super close growing up but we had moments especially when she was younger before all of her diagnoses. But she loved me so so much but I was not understanding and wanted her to just take her meds and stop the drugs like it was easy. Last year we got in a stupid fight and I was silent treatmenting her and she had called me for weeks but I never answered and when I saw her in person I was short and dismissive. One of the last conversations I had with her was her telling me that we are sisters and should get along. She died December 29th, 2019 and called me the day before but I didn’t answer. She overdosed. I’m not sure if I can ever forgive myself for not being the sister she deserved. When I was going through her things with my mom I found a paper with all her passwords on it and I was her password... that really hit deep. I’ll never know if things could have been different if I had been there for her. But what hurts the most is wondering if she left this world knowing that I did love her. Breaks my heart. My only sister. She was only 31 and was so full of life and energetic always dancing to music and singing along. People love your friends and family. Please and be patient and understanding with people who struggle with addiction and mental illness. And answer people’s call. Even if you think oh I can just talk to them later just answer it. Regret truly is the most disgustingly sad feeling to have to live with.
In all honesty, I wrote this for myself-was very therapeutic to talk about. I don’t talk about that often...today is her birthday💕
My heart hurts for you sweetie. Thank you for sharing this....hopeful sharing it lifted a part of the burden you carry. Happy birthday to your beloved sister!!!💕🥰
@@HaydieBaby13 this hurt my heart for both you and your sister. The love she had for you seemed so pure and beautiful, so she must know you loved her too. You are right about picking up that phone. My best called the week before she died and I wasn’t up to chatting and regretfully didn’t answer. 😭😭 May your precious sister rest in Paradise. Sometimes the most valuable lessons in life are the most gut achingly painful ones.
Oh hun 😭 I cried reading this, broke my heart for both of you! I can tell you one thing hun- I have 3 sisters. Sisters fight.
Sometimes we want to punch them in the face lol. One of my sisters (20 months younger than me) and I are like oil and water. I don’t know how many times I’ve given her the silent treatment because I just couldn’t deal with her that particular day.
BUT I absolutely love that little cow haha. We always make up. We support each other the best we can as flawed humans. The hardest thing is we do take them for granted because they have always been there, and we assume they always will be. They are one of the few humans we CAN show our full range of emotions to, and be completely honest with. That will love us anyway.
Sisters know that. They do. She knows you love her. Forgive yourself because I guarantee she already has. She knows you didn’t know what was going to happen, no one did.
Much love to you and I will pray for you. Big hugs 💕
Thank you for sharing this. I am an older sister, 31, and have a sister 6 years younger than me also. I’m addicted to weed and alcohol and I feel she is always judging me. Sisters really should love each other. Forgive yourself. Your sister knows you love her. Being younger has to be difficult because you can watch the mistakes the older siblings make and convince yourself you could do it better (which many younger siblings probably could)... the missing link is ages/maturity/experience.
This video hurts me so badly. I feel how bad you are hurting because I just went through this exactly with my older sister. She was 25 and Iwas 23. It was been a year and a half and it feels like it just happened. I am so so sorry for your loss and for your family. I am praying for you and your family and may god rest her soul 🙏🏻💗
I'm so sorry for your loss ❤️❤️❤️
@@ella-bt8hp thank you 🙏🏻❤️
I lost my older brother about 5 years ago in a car accident. He was 25yo. Both my other brothers are addicted to heroin and alcohol, one of them is now sober. My mother is an alcoholic and suffers from bad seizures when she tries to stop drinking. The rest of my family suffers from alcoholism as well. Since I lost my brother I've also lost two cousins. One was murdered, and the other passed away in a motorcycle accident. I'd be lying if I said that fear of death doesn't haunt me somewhat, as I always feel like I'm going to loose more loved ones in an untimely manner. But it's taught me that life is short. We have to live our best lives, no holding back
Hold onto his love Bob. You have that loving spirt and need to stay with this world long enough for us all to know it. Stay strong my friend
Death becomes part of life as we age, I'm 54 and lost my father at 25, grandparents 10 and 15 years later. My sister has stage 4 cancer not doing well I talk to her weekly she only 61 (don't skip mammograms only took 3 years of skipping), and my best friend of 35 years committed suicide few weeks ago he had lot of health issues decided he had enough. Lost several co-workers I was friends with over the last 5 years mostly to cancer. My aunt has dementia, and my mother is in her mid 80's her health is getting worse. Just try to make the best of life what I do and I think of the good times I had with everyone I knew. One day it will be my turn to pass on and maybe I will see them again.
Thanks Mike
And you keep saying "and it doesn't really matter..."
It all matters. Every bit of it. If it would have mattered to her, it matters. You feel how you feel. All of it matters, okay?
It cuts me every single time she says "it doesn't matter" - I see so much of myself in her, but i am also watching this through the eyes of my little sister seeing what I could have potentially put her through. I pray for healing for this beautiful girl and her family 💔
Shannon, Thank you I agree. ❤️❤️
Yes, all of it matters so much.
Yes, it all matters. It matters so much ❤
I'm a recovering addict.Its been 14 years and I swear I say now it was like I was possessed by a demon.It makes you do things you would never do normally. You continue to use just to feel normal. I'm so sorry she didn't get sober.
I think maybe it is a demon inside making people do this. Evil 😈 thru and thru...Wishing you peace,calm and and life with God by your side!
That is so true. My brother used to tell me the exact same thing just like you said it. He’s gone now it’s been 2yrs and I miss him with all my heart.
@@kristymarie6065 I'm so sorry
I learned when my dad passed you can close yourself off to the point where your soul won’t let them come through (dreams and what not) I am very much like you I don’t like ghosts , would be perfectly happy to never see a ghost in my life but once you’re ready open yourself up and tell her you’re ready for her to come through but talk to her always and let her know to continue to come around but you’re not ready yet until you are. She is now is the next realm of consciousness .. she’s on a level of understanding we can’t begin to understand so she is thinking about you and your family and will continue to be with you and connect when you are truly ready. I know in grief you want to say “I’m ready, I’m ready” so they’ll come but in the beginning stages as fresh as it is I feel like most aren’t.
This comment is so helpful! I really appreciate you sharing this with me. It was refreshing to read. I’m sorry to hear about your dad. God bless you! 🥺🤍
I always wondered why I never received any signs from my mom after she passed so suddenly a couple years ago. We always joked about when she was gone she wouldn't leave me alone lol! But this makes so much sense. I am a recovering addict (I got clean after my mom died) and even though I feel like I need a sign from my mom some days, mentally I probably wouldn't handle it well and it might make me miss her that much harder and throw me into a deeper depression where I use again. So thank you 😊 it was really nice to read and see it in a different way.
I recently lost my sister a few months ago she struggled with addiction for over 10 years, we all go thru the struggle with them. Your right, the only positive thing that keeps me going is knowing she’s getting the peace she never got here. Thanks for sharing💔
My sister is in active addiction and her beauty has morphed into that skinny, sick image you described in the beginning. It's so hard to watch her just fall apart, but I will always remember her as my sweet, beautiful, chubby-cheeked baby sister. Just remember, even if your loved one isn't beautiful, even if they're the "typical" addict, they are worthy of love and help. ❤
I want you to know why your sister hasn’t come to you in your dreams (yet!). Just please trust me .... you’re not ready. Not yet. Your sister knows this. She will come when she knows you are strong enough. When you can safely handle it. But she will come. I promise.
I was just going to say fhe sanething. I am 54 and believe this is the reason after having a lot of my own experiences with family passing but not in touch when I am traumatized or stressed.
Yes, I can confirm this. It was the same with my son. It took quite a while to see him in my dreams (meanwhile he was showing up in other people's dreams, which was hard too) and I know in my heart that it's because everything was still so raw that I would have been devastated to wake up without him. He did show up in gentler ways though, watch for those. ❤
It's been 8 years since I lost my sister to suicide and I've had sooooo many dreams of her where we're arguing and physically fighting our some kind of deep raw drama that I sometimes wake up in tears from. Rarely are they good happy dreams of her. I wonder what that means...
@@Hollyfae Yes! I lost my bf to addiction & he would show up in my sisters dreams with messages for me. They would ask why don’t you go see her & he would say he couldn’t face me. I found it amazing that even in death he could feel such guilt about leaving me & our daughter. He finally came years later when I was going through a lot & I broke down & told him I needed him❤️
@@michellewells4631 you need closure ! you may not think so but your still very angry she left you the way she did im so sorry for your loss and she is sorry she left please try to fully forgive her
My only sibling is an addict. We just started talking after 2 years of not. Thanks for this video.
So happy for u, I hope you can help them with their addiction and get them to grow❤️
My only sibling my first best friend in life. Fought most of his adult life , he died with his 40th birthday cards around him. I am thankful we got to nurse him for his last few weeks! It was me him & our parents again together again for those weeks. He is out of pain now because everyday was a battle. Will see you again one day & I miss him & love you so much alex 11.11.18 😢 xxxx
@@angelouise5410
I am so,so sorry sweetheart.
My thoughts are with you and your family.
Heartbreaking truly heartbreaking. 💔😢
I know the pain of Addiction so well.
My two eldest daughter's were Heroin Addicts.
Gentle hugs and love to you all.
Your precious brother Alex will always be forever young.
Stay safe and take care sweetie. With love. ⚘🕊 ❤
My sister is an addict also, my heart is with you. I am praying for your healing. Also, thank you for posting this. I know it was hard but it has impacted many. It reminded me to put my anger aside and check-in on my sister. Someone once told me that loving an addict is the hardest thing you will ever do and man it is so true.
Those "Where are you, has anyone talked to you yet calls" when you know you know. They are the calls no one wants to get because once you do your life will never be the same again. Sending you all my love.
My brother is 34 and has been in active addiction (meth) for 20 years, and my dad has been in active addiction for 18 years. To say I’m exhausted is an understatement. Thank you for sharing your story and Cat’s story so I can pass this on to my family. ♥️
Oh honey. I’m so sorry. I’m a drug addict in recovery as well. You understood her more than most people who aren’t addicts. You seen her. I’m sure she felt at peace with that. Keep shining girl
I’m so very sorry for your loss. My dad died from a overdose when I was 14. And in September I had to walk away from the love of my life 6 years together because of his addictions. I couldn’t stay and watch it happen again. 💔 hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Sending you my thoughts and prayers 🙏🏻
OMG!!!! You are INCREDIBLY and UNDENIABLY strong!!! The best way to love someone is by loving yourself first!!!! We addicts are a just a shell when in active addiction- very ill, yes, - but also very toxic and dangerous. We will never be loved into getting help.
Actively work out detoxing your life... You deserve it all and most of all, you deserve peace! 🤍 Shine bright! 💎💎💎💎💎
9.19.2018
We buried my cousin in her softball uniform, she had just won state champs + it was her love. She was killed in a murder suicide by her ex boyfriend on his 18th birthday ❤️
Kyle, I am heartbroken for your precious sister, you and your parents and family. I feel your pain and understand. My sister was also killed in a murder suicide. One of the most horrific things that can ever happen. 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔 She was my little sis, six years younger than me. May both of our beloved sister rest in Paradise. 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽😭😭😭😭
I'm so sorry that you lost your sister and in such a horrible way. 💜
In 2018 I was placed in a coma. My organs failing, lungs filled with fluid and I had congestive heart failure. While in a coma, I found myself awake standing beside my bed looking at myself laying in the hospital bed with restraints on. My mother sitting at my feet. I saw my daughter standing next to the wall by the door. Behind my mother a dark space opened and a hand motioned for me to follow. I did without hesitation. I noticed something odd, I felt light, healthy as if I was a little kid. I stood just inside this space and saw another me, only I was 18 and not 40. I wore a white robe, walking with a man about 5ft 10, slender wearing a white cloak with the head covered. All I could see was his right hand. He sat me on a park bench and said this "if you see my face here you will have to stay. I took you away from your pain because you asked me to. I've already taken that pain for you. I've loved you for the whole of your life. Even though you had very little faith and doubted my existence." He told me I couldn't stay and it was time for me to go. I wanted to feel sad but it was like it wasn't allowed. I didn't want to leave and didn't understand. He hugged me and placed his right hand on my forehead and pictures started flashing before my eyes. He helps me up and walked me back. I didn't know who he was. 2 weeks after I dreamed of the encounter, only this time I saw his face. Everything he said, what he wore, how he looked, right down to the belt made out of gold I found in the bible. I had never read the Bible and only heard of the name Jesus. He said His peace He leaves with us, it surpasses all understanding. You weren't in shock. It's the grace He had that allowed Him to knowingly lay down His own life even for those that hated Him. We say to those under our own roof that we love them like it's on a tape recorder. It's said so loosely and without thought. The goodness of God in your grief is this. Your grief has allowed you to feel that the love you shared with her was deep, it was real, and it's still alive. God is the God of the living. I know whats there waiting for us. Being here, is like having to wear a lead jacket literally. Its beautiful. I dont have a death wish or anything but i look forward to it. I remember when the Lord had to show me pics of my family to show me what i needed to go back to. I gave zero thought to them much less leaving them behind. We dont carry the past with us, that's the souls department. May peace of the Lord be with you.
That was so beautiful. Thank you for sharing.
Awesome JESUS 💕 GLORY to GOD ❤️
Omg that’s amazing xx
This is not to disregard or disrespect your story, but I do not expect how I can believe this story. Usually not like this. I wish it was though. I am suicidal and trying to kill myself.
Sorry for your loss. Stay strong. RIP to your sister 🙏
I lost my sister almost 2 years ago in July. It’s so painful. I know exactly how this feels. I miss her so much. She was my only best friend. She was my happiness. My other half. I don’t know how I’m going to keep going but we have to keep going. Sadly. God loves you.
You love you, and know you are worthy of self love xx
I am literally bawling . I lost the love of my life back in 2015 to a heroin overdose and they played free bird at his service and my younger sister had battled addiction for a long time and the struggle and heartache is something I would never wish on anyone . I think God needed me to come across this video . I am praying for you this journey forever changes you 💔💔
my ex boyfriend was shot and killed when I went to his funeral they played free bird too it’s been 7 years and I’ve thought about him every single day I miss talking to him
@@kaylalee20201 I’m so sorry for your loss too hon 💔💔
i’m playing that song at my dads funera
That was super brave to go with your mom. That is an incredibly tough memory to have. She probably appreciates that more than you’ll ever know.
i’m glad you shared your story. i struggled with depression. you don’t have to apologize for anything. you are beautiful and so strong
I just randomly came across your Channel. I want to say As an addiction counselor thank you for sharing your story. I will now show this video to my patients because everyone can use your story for their own healing. Thank you for speaking out so other people don’t have to feel so alone with their own stories. 💗
As an opiate addict this breaks my heart. It’s so hard being the addict. But its also so hard loving the addict. I’m sober and have been for a few years, It’s been the biggest fight. I’m so sorry you’re going they this doll❤️
I cried the entire time for you and with you. I've been a heroin addict off and on since I was 19 and I'm 48. Just know your sister if she's anything like me wanted nothing more then to be "normal" and healthy for you and for herself. I think you know that. There's a LOt of reasons why opiates are so hard to stop and also why we start them in the first place. So I won't go into that just know she loved you but if love was all it took to heal us...it would...but it literally can't. I wish it was that simple. Opiates change the receptors in our brains and we literally stop producing dopamine and it takes 6 months to a year before we get even kinda normal. So without opiates life is basically white knucke miserable everyday and its all we think about and Life with them is hard and full of shame and guilt and self disgust and self abuse but at least we're not crawling out of our skin 24/7. It IS possible to get clean (of course) it just takes so long for our brains to repair itself that most simply won't make it that far. life gets hard and we aren't strong enough...we relapse and sadly that's when most addicts will overdose because our bodies have no tolerance anymore and we're usually alone because we're trying to sneak around... full of shame for messing up again and so there's no one there to save us and we never saw it coming we just fall asleep. That's just the truth of it. Unfortunately. I have lost so many this same way... same scenario every time. My best advice? Never even try opiates if you think you might have an addictive personality. Or even if you don't... just don't period. That's the only answer I got. If you're already an opiate addict.. well you already know.
ou are so right. I Tim was addicted to Oxy, Tylenol 4 and soma ... my dr. Prescribed it to me for the past 10 years. 120 quantity on each pill. What happened to me 2 months ago. Changed my life when I woke up in the emergency... the paramedics came to my home from what they told me that happened. Was they found me past out in the bathroom had to administer NARCAN Three days later I went to an outpatient rehab. Been off them ever since. But you’re right about not being the same mentally. It takes time to adjust to this new life. Mentally and physically. The outpatient detox was a 3 day program. $3,000.
I will never touch pain meds ever again. But it takes time to adjust.
Thanks for your message.
My sister dosent have a drug addiction but cancer, obesity, and diabetes. I worry about loosing her everyday. I’m so sorry your loss. 🥺💖
I’m so sorry, stuff like this inspires me to stay healthy (I have Aspergers and developed alcohol/pill addiction to cope) I hope you’re sister will be okay ❤️
*your
Rewatching her story today to honor her. We see you Kristi. We are here for you. Thank you for being you. Being real and weird and beautiful and vulnerable and strong. Thank you.
Sitting here crying because i have not only lost one sibling but 3
Wow,just wow. I am so very sorry.
I am so very sorry to hear that,that is so unfair!! I will pray for you and your family.
Soooo sorry 😞
I’m so sorry for your loss! 😔🙏
I'm so sorry💔🦋
Lost my twin brother he was 24 years old on Feb.26,2020 did all I could do CPR, chest compressions and I got him back for like 2 seconds but it was too late I watched him literally slip away as I held him and just screamed don't leave bro don't go please don't go. Till I die there is no getting over that. I'm honestly glad I didn't have weapons at that time cuz I know it wouldn't of been good as far as I go cuz my Dad died of cancer a year just before, I held his hand as I watched him take his last breath too and they were my best god damn friends and the feeling of watching their hearts stop beating is something I can't explain. My prayers are with you and your family RIP to your sister she has no pain or anything now happiest she could ever be. All I talk about is my brother and my dad too every single month I think about them every damn second whether it's a food we all liked, cars, a song or jokes that I know we'd all 3 laugh it in a situation. Don't feel sorry about it at all I literally 110% know exactly what you're going thru especially being in shock I feel I still somewhat am
I too watched my brother and dad die, no words to explain that pain
Rhonda Spargo Your comment made me burst into tears. My dad was my best friend and he died last May 2020. It was just me and him and I held his hand and watched him take his last breath. I can't get past it and it's been almost a year. He lived below me for six years and I'm so grateful for that time but I miss him so much, it hurts my heart so bad. We had so much in common. We were best friends. Yesterday was my first birthday without my dad alive on the planet. I wish you peace with your loss. I understand exactly how you feel.
Having a sibling who is an addict is SO HARD. You said some things I have been feeling for years that I didn’t know anyone else felt. I followed you a week before your sister passed. When you posted the tiktok about her death my heart broke for you. Without knowing her I can see Cat was an amazing beautiful person who should still be here ❤️ keep talking about your grief and Cat’s story you never know who it may help ❤️
I am crying with you😩😩😩🤍🤍
0
This is your story. Your pain. There are never “too many details, that don’t matter”. EVERY detail, every moment matters. And always will.
" I don't want the denial to wear off. I don't want to feel.I prefer to stay numb." You said exactly how an addict feels.
Yup! That’s exactly it. I’m almost 10 years clean off of prescription pills (abused with a enabling doctor).
The details are important and they will save someone's life. This is absolutely beautifully made and you are so right... addiction doesn't discriminate and unfortunately people aren't educated enough and that's why this video is perfect.
My brother is in active addiction and we haven't spoke in 2yrs. I hate it for my Mama the most. I will be praying for your family. Ask God for strength and hope honey...He listens
Amen @ BluegrasRed May 🙏✝️🌷
That's the one person who knows your life story. The only person who validates your life story. I miss talking to my sister about shifty things we went thru. I pray for you all the time.
My older brother died when I was 11. My siblings are all a lot older than me, I was the late arrival. I grew up with my oldest brother watching over me and being EXTRA protective. I always thought he was just being a "goob" as I called it. I didn't know until after he died, that he had been battling heroin and steroid addiction. I was "too young" so no one in the family ever told me why he would randomly disappear for a month or 2 and then pop back up like nothing happened. My whole childhood was surrounded by the thought that "when I'm older, he's not going to be my big brother, hes going to be my best friend". "Loosing a sibling is loosing the past and the future" hits home. I am sure she is insanely proud of you, for even taking the time to make this video.
I have almost two years clean from fent and meth my mom just died two weeks ago my dad four years ago. Im staying clean working in a rehab helping other addicts and im so grateful for videos like this. Thank you rip cat
I lost my friend in high school unexpectedly in a car accident. I have seen several psychic mediums and only ever had one dream that people talk about that I believe was real. It didn’t make sense and she didn’t say anything that made sense. All she did in the dream was laugh and made me laugh. (I actually woke myself up laughing in my sleep) I woke up with such a peaceful feeling and knew it was her and she was happy and okay. I remember asking a medium a couple years later and asking why I never have any dreams about her anymore. I remember the medium told me that sometimes when you are pulling on their energy “too much” it makes it harder for them to communicate and “visit you”. It will happen one day to you and you will know when it goes. Wish I could just hug you through the screen sweet girl. Keep your head up angel 💗 Your sister shines through you and you are helping more people than you know with these videos. Praying for comfort and healing.
I have an addictive personality, I used to smoke and I have food issues. That’s why I will never take opioids,. I had a car accident and surgeries and always tell my Dr.’s no opioids, ever. Talk to your kids about how addictive drugs are so they never start. It’s important to never start, explain why, it changes your brain and body chemistry.
I can completely relate to this. I was addicted to cocaine and meth for a couple of years, a functioning addict. I had a car accident from falling asleep driving that required multiple spine surgeries. Terrified of long term opioid use, I opted for a spinal cord stimulator. Still in pain, but I’ve stayed clean over 10 years. It’s not easy.
@@beckymays1677 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👍👍
You described me perfectly with your comment about yourself.... How are you managing these days? Can I ask how old.you are?
@@Katiekay. I have to have regular adjustments to the generator about every 6 months to tweak nerves involved and areas. I have Mobic, a muscle relaxer I can take only if necessary. There’s no type of buzz or euphoria with it, you just notice slow muscle relief. I have to stretch numerous times a day. I was 36 when I had the accident. I’ll be 47 next month.
I’m 53 years old