The Worst Movie Remake of All Time

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  • Опубліковано 31 гру 2024

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  • @PapaMeat
    @PapaMeat  Рік тому +407

    Go to gamersupps.gg/papameat to get the new Waifu cup and 10% off your new order

    • @passing_voyager
      @passing_voyager Рік тому +7

      could you do a series where you review childhood movies that you enjoyed

    • @jellyriq
      @jellyriq Рік тому +2

      Meat Canyon supp flavor and waifu cup when?

    • @Qwuski
      @Qwuski Рік тому +4

      It was as forgetful as the dumb sonic movie

    • @TheVenomation
      @TheVenomation Рік тому

      Anyone using the code- I recommend the gamer fart flavour - Its a zinger

    • @kigyar_pirate6598
      @kigyar_pirate6598 Рік тому +2

      Meatcanyon, can you review MAD GOD. It's such a well made horror claymation.

  • @Arkuzian
    @Arkuzian 6 місяців тому +605

    the fact that it's "the one who walks" instead of "the one who stalks" is a really missed pun opportunity.

  • @RealScratchy
    @RealScratchy Рік тому +3925

    Even as a recap, it bothered me that Bo was legitimately covered in gasoline soaked clothing and sets a cornfield on fire without ever catching fire herself

    • @richardbeater8915
      @richardbeater8915 Рік тому +14

      You know that gas evaporates right?

    • @personman8734
      @personman8734 Рік тому +273

      @@richardbeater8915 within like 10 minutes?

    • @boanoah6362
      @boanoah6362 Рік тому +467

      @@richardbeater8915 You know gas gets MORE flammable the more it evaporates, right? She'd go up like a fucking christmas tree in july.

    • @Donyourmom
      @Donyourmom Рік тому +61

      @@richardbeater8915bruh explain your logic.

    • @han3wmanwukong125
      @han3wmanwukong125 Рік тому +48

      I was way too done with the movie to be bothered with being bothered by that.

  • @MrPMAntunes
    @MrPMAntunes Рік тому +2551

    Imagine introducing the corn rot idea, that actually can induce allucinations, and make it seem like the entire plot might happen cause the kids are infected, and then 2 minutes later show a cgi face in the corn, making all of it completly redundant

    • @christopherkinsella3912
      @christopherkinsella3912 Рік тому +276

      Remember in the Thing prequel, when the monster would hide as a person until somebody went “Oi, yer not a person, are ya?” And then it would turn into a big CGI muck monster and bumble around after them? Or when it was trying to reach girl face at the end but she was crammed into too tight of a space… even though it’s a shape shifter which can also sever pieces of itself to which then operate independently.
      Studio movies are often controlled by people who have absolutely no idea what they’re doing.

    • @mr.snippy
      @mr.snippy Рік тому +115

      ​@@christopherkinsella3912 I hated the CGI in that movie. I fell in love with all of the puppeteer and robotics work that went into the first one. It made it more terrifying to know the monsters were tangible to all of the cast.

    • @weskintime4177
      @weskintime4177 Рік тому +30

      @@mr.snippy you mean the remake of the first one. There was a “The Thing” movie before it. Like if you are referring to the John Carpenter movie. It’s technically a remake of the original film.

    • @mr.snippy
      @mr.snippy Рік тому +8

      @@weskintime4177 The John Carpenter one of course. I don't think they had robotics available for movie creatures in the year that the original one came out.

    • @wcbelgard
      @wcbelgard Рік тому +17

      ​@@mr.snippy they absolutely did it was all practical effects and "robots"

  • @SkoChoppah
    @SkoChoppah Рік тому +862

    That scene of the adults laughing at the kids is so genuinely funny

  • @galiotes8777
    @galiotes8777 10 місяців тому +53

    13:12 thats actually something that happens. Either because of over production or deals with other countries, governaments pay farmers and landowners for non-production or even destruction of fields and trees

    • @coinwater8511
      @coinwater8511 Місяць тому

      Also through CRP programs to let the land rest and recover. Landowners are encouraged to plant other things like native plants to prevent erosion and make wildlife habitat. In certain situations it's a pretty good deal. You can put less productive land in the program and get paid without working that land.

  • @fell9654
    @fell9654 Рік тому +9038

    You ruined Children of the Corn 2023 for me, when I really wanted Children of the Corn 2023 to ruin Children of the Corn 2023 for me 😭

    • @bogbog
      @bogbog Рік тому +171

      Cancel Papa Meat

    • @Eidolon1andOnly
      @Eidolon1andOnly Рік тому +56

      Well said.

    • @TheForkzman
      @TheForkzman Рік тому +30

      @@bogbog ratio

    • @bogbog
      @bogbog Рік тому +1

      @@TheForkzman autistic?

    • @UnchargedBattery978
      @UnchargedBattery978 Рік тому +55

      wait so why didn’t you just not watch the video
      edit: i think it was a joke i didn’t get at first but i’m not entirely sure

  • @Arcademan09
    @Arcademan09 Рік тому +1321

    The way the adults laugh at the kids reminds of Austin Powers when everyone laughed at Austin because his dad never showed up to his graduation

    • @JDelwynn
      @JDelwynn Рік тому +115

      Glad I wasn't the only one who thought this. It's not a good sign when you're horror movie reminds you of Austin Powers.

    • @bleedingroze
      @bleedingroze Рік тому +35

      That’s exactly how it felt, thank you so much for pointing that out it made it even funnier.

    • @0037kevin
      @0037kevin Рік тому +24

      Shame that Austin Powers was a scarier movie than this garbage of the corn

    • @nathanielfloyd8210
      @nathanielfloyd8210 Рік тому +4

      I don't mean any of this, just thought it was a good joke
      Reminiscing on some of your old memories I see

    • @_superradical
      @_superradical Рік тому +33

      Daddy wasn’t there !
      To change my underwear !
      To take me to the fair !

  • @dylanpelo
    @dylanpelo Рік тому +406

    The government will absolutely subsidize you to grow certain crops. If I remember correctly, it's due to higher prices on other crops, which farmers will want to plant. Subsidizing others to make sure there isn't a shortage.
    Also (at least here in Nebraska), the NRD will pay you to not plant anything and let the field go wild. But that is a commitment for several years, I think 8-10 years.

    • @funguy398
      @funguy398 Рік тому +67

      Infinite money glitch
      1. Buy land
      2. Get paid to not use it
      Goto 1

    • @williamenglish565
      @williamenglish565 Рік тому +19

      Facts, I get subsidized to grow trees lol.

    • @MrBarcode
      @MrBarcode Рік тому

      Corn IS subsidized and the government buys the excess. Thats why theres corn or high fructose syrup in everything

    • @HK-xn3ob
      @HK-xn3ob Рік тому

      @@williamenglish565 Nice, is it lucrative?

    • @Arcademan09
      @Arcademan09 Рік тому +1

      ​@@williamenglish565 based, I wish I had a Field of land

  • @Crim_Zen
    @Crim_Zen Рік тому +55

    13:10 Ya that's pretty normal. The Gov does it in order to stabilize the cost of a product. Usually the field just gets turned into another crop, or they catch it on fire to fertilize the soil for future crops. Outside of the gov forcing this via stabilization, it's perfectly normal to request gov aid if the fields need some time off.

    • @randompandagirl831
      @randompandagirl831 3 місяці тому

      Im sure it’s also to burn any dead plants that could cause a random wildfire on the crops as well

  • @onykx9640
    @onykx9640 10 місяців тому +63

    This is just what Hollywood thinks we do for fun in Nebraska

    • @jessesdomain444
      @jessesdomain444 4 місяці тому

      I like Nebraska or any flyover state. Easy to find semi parking

  • @sixpetals
    @sixpetals Рік тому +555

    being from nebraska the scariest thing about that story to me was if you get stuck between major cities it's just an endless plane of nothing but corn, grass and more grass. hella agoraphobic so it's a shame they couldn't use that to their advantage.

    • @rjrowley3887
      @rjrowley3887 Рік тому +69

      That's too clever for hollywood

    • @cawsomeaolin
      @cawsomeaolin Рік тому +10

      @@rjrowley3887 fr

    • @scrappyanimations4096
      @scrappyanimations4096 Рік тому +35

      Same as Illinois. You leave Chicago, and it's just... Corn.

    • @zacharybare6967
      @zacharybare6967 Рік тому +18

      ​@@scrappyanimations4096Hey it's not just corn...we got a ton of soybeans down south too

    • @lightsoverPA
      @lightsoverPA Рік тому +2

      Ever been to Pennsylvania?

  • @RyguyAlpha
    @RyguyAlpha Рік тому +2544

    Only thing this video has disappointed is the glaring absence of the tentacle on the table. At this point it’s a staple of Papa Meats videos.

    • @lunabearsong2043
      @lunabearsong2043 Рік тому +129

      It's in the back to the right of the lava lamp, but I agree. I immediately looked for it on his side on the front table when the video started and was disappointed when I didn't see it. Lol.

    • @AStrangeTrap
      @AStrangeTrap Рік тому +35

      @@trashpanda0033 no fun, they are artists.
      I'm also like 90% sure they're not supposed to actually be used, but I'm sure some people will.

    • @zyourzgrandzmaz
      @zyourzgrandzmaz Рік тому +27

      Tht tentacle bouta make me act up🥴

    • @Alsyoutubeaccount
      @Alsyoutubeaccount Рік тому +53

      @@AStrangeTrap I’m 100% sure they are meant to be used. But I’m 90% sure Hunter hasn’t used his

    • @Tracer_Sweat
      @Tracer_Sweat Рік тому +3

      it was at the cleaners...

  • @sjeffy5137
    @sjeffy5137 Рік тому +1192

    The director watching this furious that you’re tearing up his movie but thrilled that you got the Red Queen references

  • @VixxyFoxxy
    @VixxyFoxxy 11 місяців тому +133

    Not only are corn stalks hard but they’re also incredibly painful to run through because they’re rough/spiky

    • @seba.4926
      @seba.4926 Місяць тому

      i feel like the kid would just get skewered

  • @Jack_Wolfe
    @Jack_Wolfe Рік тому +19

    15:15 wow she flipped quick from "its not natural its all pestacides" to "No not the corn dont hurt the corn"

  • @frankiecoss7141
    @frankiecoss7141 Рік тому +858

    9:41 I spent the 1st 9 years of my life in Ohio and before 2020, when people started saying any chaotic hellscape was Ohio, people would tell you ain't nothin' in Ohio except corn. I can tell you from experience that cornstalks are indeed hard. Also corn and sugarcane are in the same subfamily, Panicoideae. Corn is also in the same class, order, and family as bamboo. So that should give you a vague understanding of how hard cornstalks are if you've ever been around sugarcane or bamboo.
    [Edit]: Also how the fuck is there no guns in this small American town? Shit makes 0 sense.

    • @phil4986
      @phil4986 Рік тому +79

      Ding Ding Ding. There has to be at least one pump shotgun in that place. "Mama said life is like a Remington 870. You never know what you're gonna shoot."

    • @nignamedmutt7270
      @nignamedmutt7270 Рік тому +31

      In response to your edited question: That's what happens when an elitist writer who's spent his whole life, snorting coke, droppign acid and getting blackout drunk, in some mansion in Maine decides to write about a state he's never actually visited.
      Question: Is this also "the book he doesn't remember writing?"
      Because I've seen that piece of 'trivia' attached to every book he's written(likebto the point it sounds like a lazy cop out for being asked about shit in your books that makes no sense, or is just.... disturbingly creepy.... like underage bangtrains"creepy.....)
      ...... I really don't like Stephen king.....

    • @bradlfsh
      @bradlfsh Рік тому +17

      They are pretty damn stiff and ridged when they're alive. The worst is how they will cut you tf up if you take off through a corn field. Me an my brother as kids used to watch the original film and go run through a corn field after. very spooky and painful lol

    • @bradlfsh
      @bradlfsh Рік тому +12

      And yes for realism there shoulda been tons of square body trucks with a Mossberg in the back window.

    • @RumpledRankor
      @RumpledRankor Рік тому

      @@nignamedmutt7270 Cujo is the book he doesn't remember writing.
      Also while this movie sucked ass, I'm pretty sure it's resemblance to the book is basically non-existent based on the books plot summary on Wikipedia.

  • @zacharyhudspath1848
    @zacharyhudspath1848 Рік тому +312

    Your editor deserves a 200% raise

  • @CodytheVictorian
    @CodytheVictorian Рік тому +435

    This is such a first draft movie. the ham handed foreshadowing, the lack of connection between scenes etc etc. This was definitely slapped together to retain the film rights of the story.

    • @J.J.Jameson_of_Daily_Bugle
      @J.J.Jameson_of_Daily_Bugle 5 місяців тому +6

      Most likely. However it's a miracle on itself that this series went on for so long. It was a short story for a reason, because you can't really go anywhere from what happens in the story. This and Amityville have to be most persistent horror series, and I am only counting official Amityville sequels.

  • @pairashootpants5373
    @pairashootpants5373 Рік тому +51

    Wow why does it seem like Hollywood purposely makes remakes terrible? It's like a trade secret or something, the remake must not be better than the original, I don't know. Great review!

  • @brandikroeger7079
    @brandikroeger7079 9 місяців тому +12

    Being in Omaha, Nebraska, seeing that Cafe sign brings me joy because that's where my grandpa's old donut shop was.

  • @nerdlingeeksly5192
    @nerdlingeeksly5192 Рік тому +1416

    You know how the Japanese used to make traps out of bamboo that can puncture your skin, you could substitute corn stalks for that.
    That's how hard corn stalks are.

    • @drakegears
      @drakegears Рік тому +83

      Mericanized

    • @rampageblizzard
      @rampageblizzard Рік тому

      That kid would have been impaled for sure

    • @Okaro-fl3qk
      @Okaro-fl3qk Рік тому +139

      My aunt actually got hurt by a corn stalk, a corn stalk was being held back by another corn stalk after a wind storm, and it came lose and flung forward puncturing my aunts foot. She could walk for a while, and to this day each time she goes into the doctor for that, they still are picking little pieces of stalk out of her foot.

    • @Octopugilist
      @Octopugilist Рік тому +66

      You oughta see was cornstalks do in a tornado. They'll punch right though a house

    • @cam5816
      @cam5816 Рік тому +60

      @@Okaro-fl3qk Nothing ever dies in the corn 😈

  • @commissardale
    @commissardale Рік тому +282

    Actually, being subsidized to not grow something is super common. Especially in the "larger" industries like corn, soybeans, peas, etc. They do it to keep the price from bottoming out. Same reason excess crops are burned at times.

    • @kev905
      @kev905 Рік тому +29

      You can also get paid to let the field go fallow. Soybeans especially are really hard on soil so you need to rotate crops and take occasional years off.

    • @The_Sharktocrab
      @The_Sharktocrab Рік тому +11

      "How do we end world hunger?"

    • @commissardale
      @commissardale Рік тому +18

      @The_Sharktocrab logistically and economically, we can't end world hunger. Farming would have to become totally state subsidized, along with transportation for the produce. And once it gets turned into a "state ordeal", imagine what happens when all those state employees decide to strike

    • @CorporateG0th
      @CorporateG0th Рік тому +8

      "Where did all this inflation come from?"

    • @commissardale
      @commissardale Рік тому +14

      @@CorporateG0th ehhh, not really. Farm subsidies have been around since the great depression to prevent another dust bowl.

  • @thedullahan5977
    @thedullahan5977 Рік тому +131

    You know that joke question of like, "How many kids do you think you can knock down before you get tired?" It feels like it wasn't ever asked at one point.

  • @hello.im.auggie
    @hello.im.auggie 10 місяців тому +18

    2:06 the thousand yard stare I had when I saw that image

  • @treefingers6572
    @treefingers6572 11 місяців тому +2

    From what I can hear at 12:11 he says "WALK THE PLANK", which is kinda fucked up like "lol remember that kid we watched almost get executed earlier lmao"

  • @RaspK
    @RaspK Рік тому +898

    You know what I *_really_* abhor?
    Notice how, at 7:55, the cornfield is all... brown, really. Even the green leaves are all muddy. Have they ever walked through corn!? Reminds me of a scene from the D&D trailer, where the hay used in a hut was a deep orange.
    Colour grading was used originally to fix bad colour capture from the camera, then it was used for artistic effect, and now it's just slapped on top of everything with zero concern.
    P.S.: Yes, dying corn, yadda-yadda, but this does not look dying. It's just painting over healthy leaves.

    • @RaspK
      @RaspK Рік тому +20

      P.S.: That thing in 8:43 is a drill bit for use with a hand-cranked mandrel.

    • @RaspK
      @RaspK Рік тому +27

      P.P.S.: Proof about the bad cornfield colour grading: look at 20:32 - what do you know!

    • @schnoz2372
      @schnoz2372 Рік тому +31

      I kind of wish there was an animated version of some of these king movies bc live action is so limiting

    • @artfx9
      @artfx9 Рік тому +5

      Ok, cornman

    • @King_Flippy_Nips
      @King_Flippy_Nips Рік тому

      they were probably too busy getting naked bending over and running backwards through the cornfields to notice what they looked like and by the time they were done all the corn was brown.

  • @feralhomunculus
    @feralhomunculus Рік тому +673

    1000% sure this recap is far better than the actual movie. Thank you for taking one for the team.

  • @adam.n-steve
    @adam.n-steve Рік тому +618

    The fact that they made the antagonist alluding to the red queen shows that they have not read Alice in Wonderland and only knows her from Tim Burton's version.

    • @warbossgegguz679
      @warbossgegguz679 Рік тому +98

      Correction: they've never read Through the Looking Glass.
      The red queen isnt in ANY version of Alice in Wonderland. It's the queen of Hearts. Even in tim burton iirc.

    • @longlivetheking1065
      @longlivetheking1065 Рік тому +47

      @@warbossgegguz679 Fact-check this one, pal. "down with the bloody *red queen*" is legit a line from the Burton movie, also even in the original tale, she was known as the "red queen" and her rival was known as "the white queen". Honestly, "queen of hearts" would be an extremely ironic name for a character that goes around beheading people lmao, I am pretty sure the "hearts" was only in the title of her lover "Knave of Hearts" who was exclusive to one of the books.

    • @warbossgegguz679
      @warbossgegguz679 Рік тому

      @@longlivetheking1065 I know what they said, I'm, saying its a conflation there also since she's supposed to be the queen of hearts from alice's first visit to "underland".
      So literally no adaptation of Alice in wonderland ACTUALLY has the red queen, who is totally amicable in the actual source material.
      Also, no need to be a dick asshole, I was joining in on mocking it., not trying to be "ACSHULLY" about it. Fuck...

    • @Quixotic_Serenity
      @Quixotic_Serenity Рік тому +66

      @@longlivetheking1065 The Queen of Hearts is from the first book and is a card of the suit of hearts from a deck of cards. The Red Queen is from the Looking Glass and is a piece from a red & white chess set. They are two different characters. The Tim Burton movie is indeed wrong.

    • @PingachuWarham
      @PingachuWarham 10 місяців тому +19

      @@longlivetheking1065 Bro literally said "Fact check this one, pal" and then proceeded to state a wrong fact lol, you must feel awful

  • @akirafoxtrot2815
    @akirafoxtrot2815 Рік тому +70

    “He who walks behind the rows” is believed to be Randall Flagg from the dark tower series. On top of that he works for the crimson king aka the red king, and there’s a girl mentioning the red queen…. So I see them trying string connections to the dark tower series. Also with the tie-ins Stephen king does do, I could see the director trying to connect children of the corn to pet cemetery as well with that one opening line about nothing really dying.

    • @SpectrasCorner
      @SpectrasCorner Місяць тому

      If that is the case, it wasn't done super well 😔😔

  • @DawudSandstorm2
    @DawudSandstorm2 7 місяців тому +1

    13:13 The government pays farmers not to grow certain crops in order to avoid having too much on the market. At some point they tried buying the crops off them, but that instead just resulted in them growing even more of it since the price was fixed and the government would buy all of it, so they just went back to paying them to not grow it.

  • @OBrienDesigns
    @OBrienDesigns Рік тому +338

    Dude I literally was laughing out loud more than I ever have when you were talking about the parents laughing in the kids faces about the voting and stuff haha. That is the most ridiculous scene ever I can't believe it's real haha

  • @SSmotzer
    @SSmotzer Рік тому +60

    This seems like one of those times where the script was a completely different movie involving a plant monster, and the studio was like, 'we will make this, but you gotta make it a remake of Children of the Corn so we can keep the copyright to the name."

  • @Jokester6293
    @Jokester6293 Рік тому +53

    I wanna see a meatcanyon video where the monster just randomly goes "Nothing ever dies in the meat"

  • @LifeInPink999
    @LifeInPink999 Рік тому +2

    23:15 So she is soaked in gasoline how does she do this without ending up in flames? Her not even bothering to take of her extremely flammable clothes now while escaping annoyed me just as her taking a pocket knife to fight a hoard of crazy children, like girl you are surrounded by farm tools take something that is good to hurt more that one at once and preventing them to get close like a spade or a sickle, even a lawn rake is better. Why don't find an actual fire weapon, all the hoses are empty and I assume those kids didn't bother to close the doors behind them.
    The town people look like the sort to have at least one shotgun at home. Why must she go back to them anyway? In her mind her father is safe in the corn (he is not but she didn't know it at that moment), it would have been more productive to just run nearest town (and she doesn't even has to run almost everyone is dead so there are plenty of cars to choose from) ... How the kids even managed to carry all the adults into the pit? Why the protagonists didn't escape while they were busy with this tedious task? The adults not managing to exit the pit is one of the most stupidest scenes in a horror movie ever.
    This movie is extremely bad and not in a ''so bad that is actually good'' way, I kept getting annoyed because of the stupidity of absolutely everyone.
    I feel bad for Stephen King, everyone keeps trashing his work and it gets worse with the remakes.

  • @HighAsDonuts
    @HighAsDonuts 10 місяців тому +3

    (Not so) fun fact- 1 cubic foot of soil weighs 140 pounds. I haven’t seen the movie so idk how big the pit is but I wouldn’t want even one scoop of dirt dumped on me let alone escape afterwards

  • @Vanreis
    @Vanreis Рік тому +212

    I love how the movie that borrows almost nothing from the original novel actually adds a scene of local adults being assholes to kids. I suppose Stephen King's writer traits are so dominant they even survive a shitty remake.

    • @themidnighttavern6784
      @themidnighttavern6784 Рік тому +19

      I love how a shitty 12 or so page short story spawned 12 shitty films. Think about that for a second.

    • @Vanreis
      @Vanreis Рік тому +32

      @@themidnighttavern6784 Eh, I will always defend the 1984 version. It wasn't good per se but it gave us John Franklin as the crazed child preacher Isaac, a performance that really deserved to be in a better movie.

  • @kevinnordle8154
    @kevinnordle8154 Рік тому +117

    I love the "inbread children" card because it makes me think of kids in giant bread loaf costumes.
    A simple typo, with great results.

  • @HeisenbergFam
    @HeisenbergFam Рік тому +624

    Meat is like that one uncle who cheers you up in dark times of need and gives you gifts whenever you see him

    • @romanrover5839
      @romanrover5839 Рік тому +2

      Fr fr

    • @mikesnyder3317
      @mikesnyder3317 Рік тому

      No. Meatcanyon is like the fat uncle who molested you a few times BUT gets you the next gen every Xmas. He hurt me. He hurt me bad. BUT the Chester cheeto skit? Magic school buss? VELMA!?!?! He's not forgiven but he's not going to jail either

    • @finishedsmoke
      @finishedsmoke Рік тому +1

      Meth

    • @howtoknight
      @howtoknight Рік тому +4

      @@BAGGStheAugmented Its a comment stealing bot

    • @ItsYaDawg
      @ItsYaDawg Рік тому +11

      "Don't tell your parents" as he hands you a zippo lighter with a lady on it.

  • @henrypittman4637
    @henrypittman4637 11 місяців тому +5

    Sounded Like he said "Walk the Plank"...on that Obnoxious jump scare.

  • @KeKoolKat
    @KeKoolKat Рік тому +7

    I can confirm cornstalks do hurt. When I was 16 a friend brought me night hunting with him. All of my friends and and myself where standing in the bed of a truck while going through a corn field that had been harvested so there was a bunch of 3-4inch cut stalks sticking out of the ground. We hit a bump, and I literally flew out of the bed of the truck and landed on my back on top of a bunch of these stalks. It knocked the breath out of me so I just laid there for a while. After about 10-15 minutes I realized they didn't turn around, they didn't notice I was missing until they got to where they were going lol. The bruises were wild

  • @funkyweapon1981
    @funkyweapon1981 Рік тому +83

    I always called the monster from this franchise, "The Great Cornholio". He just needed some TP for his bungholio.

  • @blakeadams1614
    @blakeadams1614 Рік тому +134

    “Nothing ever dies in the corn” sounds like something straight from your acid trips of animations ❤️

  • @CY3ER
    @CY3ER Рік тому +70

    I never expected that, out of all my years watching youtube and seeing so many great content creators, you'd be the one that has made me laugh hysterically this consistently. Love your humor and your content, bro.

  • @KirkWilson86
    @KirkWilson86 11 місяців тому +3

    The editing and sound effects used on this video were absolutely hilarious! I haven't laughed this hard in a while. I love Papa Meat and his fantastic crew!

  • @periloussunlight8236
    @periloussunlight8236 Рік тому +2

    The way subsidization works is that if everyone grows corn, the market will be flooded and the price of corn will drop. This leads to less corn sales and more corn going bad. Because of this many small farms will get foreclosed and larger farms won’t grow corn again which leads to a huge shortage the next harvest season. To prevent this the government tries regulate the amount of any one crop that is produced at a time and will pay producers to not grow it in order to keep the market stable

  • @KaitoGillscale
    @KaitoGillscale Рік тому +6

    13:20 the government definitely does those kinds of subsidies, but it’s usually to even out the crop market. So they’ll be like “hey we’ll pay you X dollars to plant anything besides corn this year” so that other states who do plant corn can supply the market. Definitely a thing, but usually not that vague.

    • @thelordofthelostbraincells
      @thelordofthelostbraincells 5 місяців тому +1

      So there's too much corn?

    • @KaitoGillscale
      @KaitoGillscale 5 місяців тому +3

      @@thelordofthelostbraincells Corn is often thrown out due to how easy it is to cultivate...but if 90% of a state that can produce corn or wheat produce corn...that's only 10% producing wheat. So the government will say "for the hassle of producing what we want, we'll pay you to do it." It gets around the fact that a farm can produce basically whatever they want.

  • @Nick-zm2vm
    @Nick-zm2vm Рік тому +59

    I feel like there should have been a twist where the corn monster was actually made of squash. Just as a final screw you to the audience.

  • @LoveHandle4890
    @LoveHandle4890 Рік тому +517

    Papa Meat should make his very own horror film tbh. As it would most likely be very successful.

    • @TheMutatedChannel
      @TheMutatedChannel Рік тому +17

      I'd be interested in it

    • @Gustoberg
      @Gustoberg Рік тому +22

      animated horror film, I feel like there are not many, at least 8n american animation

    • @bryanwendland235
      @bryanwendland235 Рік тому +10

      Wouldn't be surprised if he makes one sooner rather than later tbh.

    • @ainteasya
      @ainteasya Рік тому

      Fuck yall. Where were you guys at when he dropped monster lab.

    • @scottcaves1258
      @scottcaves1258 Рік тому +7

      @@Gustoberg Yeah, most there is in American horror animation is some kids movies like Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island, Coraline, and Paranorman, and although those are really good movies, I'd love to see a well made R rated animated horror movie. I saw somewhere though that there's an animated Evil Dead show in the works right now with Ash as the lead and voiced by Bruce Campbell, so I'm excited for that.

  • @lucasrendon4182
    @lucasrendon4182 10 місяців тому +8

    Nick photo with Twomad did not age great BRUH

  • @AlejandroH97
    @AlejandroH97 11 місяців тому +2

    The fact that you referred to that little girl as J Leno for the entire review is fucking hilarious. True commitment at its finest.

  • @HD_Heresy
    @HD_Heresy Рік тому +47

    The last scene gave me a feeling of, man how to explain...do you ever watch something that doesn't really scare you but you know as a kid it would have RUINED you so you don't feel scared but a small part of your brain is screaming? It's like that 😂

  • @shizamza
    @shizamza Рік тому +204

    THE ADULTS LAUGHING AT THE KIDS ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!? 😂😂😂 that is amazingly bad I adore it

  • @AnomalyINC
    @AnomalyINC Рік тому +51

    He Who Walks Behind the Rows is a literal corn-man. The lack of imagination is palpable.
    In the original, you never see him. I think you hear him roar when the cornfield burns, but that's about it.
    In another adaptation from the 2000's he does make an actual appearance, and he looks like the Thing from 1982 if it contracted the T-Virus.
    He does not look anything like corn is what I'm saying. He looked more like an inside-out T-Rex.

    • @madam-mint
      @madam-mint Рік тому +2

      Inside-out T-Rex PFFFT I love that

    • @dakotasmith1010
      @dakotasmith1010 2 місяці тому +1

      It's typically thought that the original "he who walks behind the rows" is Randall flagg, a common antagonist in Stephen King stories such as "the stand" and the dark tower series

  • @brucenatelee
    @brucenatelee Рік тому +2

    5:43 For some of us, it's not about gender, it's about change. I'd be just as annoyed of making Peter Parker black as much as making Miles Morales white, or making Gwen Stacey be Greg Stacey and Peter Parker become Patricia Parker. Consistency of the original characters is all.

  • @kalebarneson8942
    @kalebarneson8942 Рік тому +5

    Plz make a country song called “Nothin ever dies in the corn” 😂

  • @appeardead
    @appeardead Рік тому +193

    This movie supposedly had a 30 million dollar budget, no idea where that went

  • @foxisretrofitting4556
    @foxisretrofitting4556 Рік тому +29

    It feels like this film was thrown together with like 4 different directors. The voting scene seems entirely out of place and slapstick. I'd expect to see that in like a parody. 14:33 the "ho,ho,ho!" caught me off guard and the "especially you" delivery was hilarious.

    • @scrappyanimations4096
      @scrappyanimations4096 Рік тому +3

      Yeah it was SO ridiculous that at first I was wondering if it was even really from the movie or if Papa Meat found/made the footage. Then I saw the actors/actresses were the same lmfao

  • @kirayoshikage1491
    @kirayoshikage1491 Рік тому +8

    7:19 the red queen is actually a chess piece, she and the queen of hearts are similar but different, the main difference being that the red queen is more cunning and analytical and smart (like chess players are)

  • @bplatinumpaladin
    @bplatinumpaladin 11 місяців тому

    13:15-13:18 Actually, yes. One reason Corn became such a huge product (and we have Corn Syrup and other stuff made of corn) was because at one point, the Government offered to pay Farmers additional money to grow and Sell Corn. Because of this, other crops faltered for a time, so they have to balance and regulate the growth of produce in America through Stipends and Subsidies.

  • @KingsNerdCave
    @KingsNerdCave 11 місяців тому +2

    This movie was fully someone writing out ideas for a remake, and instead of writing a script they just took those bullet point notes and winged it.
    Bo's actress didn't bother me, I think she has potential but with a lack of direction she just defaults to enforcing the same emotions. It's a lack of direction on everything, the actual plot, what should be scary, why the monster is even doing things. If there was less ham-fisted foreshadowing, keeping the teenage guy alive longer so Bo has someone to bounce off of, and better pacing and sensical events, you could have a cheesy fun slasher-thriller film, but instead we get this mess. Still better than Issac returns...

  • @Raventree2002
    @Raventree2002 Рік тому +71

    He's not wrong about the corn stalks being like steel bars. As someone who's helped out on crop fields I can assure you they do hurt and they will cut and bruise. If you need a home defense weapon, choose a corn stalk. You won't regret it.

  • @PatrickXVRC
    @PatrickXVRC Рік тому +73

    Dude thanks for saving me time, I'm a fan of Children of The Corn but this is a perfect explain of "we dont need remakes"

    • @Terminalsanity
      @Terminalsanity Рік тому +11

      Honestly I think Children of The Corn is the perfect kind of film to Remake: Memorable but definitely flawed in a way that leaves room for improvement.
      Problem is this film is made by hacks with even less to say than a coked up Stephen King in the 70's. The underlying message about dogmatic youth zealotry overwhelming a community is as relevant as ever, you could have the Issac stand-in get viral through UA-cam or tick-tok (sort of like the Riddler in the The Batman film) videos as they expose hypocritical town adults legitimately selling out their kids futures to one corporate scheme or another then when the adults are out the way have Issac become more corrupt than the Adults ever were because his demonic dogma dressed up in religious trapping is only more hypocritical, twisted and evil just like in the OG film. Thus retain the overall same subtext and message as the OG film only slightly contemporized with fleshed out with better storytelling. It wouldn't be that hard to do really one real tricky part would be finding a pair actors as distinct and memorable as Issac and Mordecai in their own right.

    • @AbrasiousProductions
      @AbrasiousProductions Рік тому +10

      what baffles me is why not remake bad films and make them good instead of remaking good films and making them bad, for Instance i wouldn't mind seeing a remake of Trip With The Teacher (1975)

    • @s3dchr
      @s3dchr Рік тому +4

      *PTSD flashbacks of Oldboy/The Thing Brrr...

    • @LilyApus
      @LilyApus Рік тому +1

      Because money, they remake good movies for brand recognition, they don't remake bad movies into good ones because they're scared no one will go see it based on prior reputation.

  • @OliviaRain715
    @OliviaRain715 Рік тому +105

    The corn monster reminded me of the plants from a movie called "The Ruins", where the plants basically just kill people 😂

    • @xxiSHTAr9000x
      @xxiSHTAr9000x Рік тому +16

      Oh yeah, I’ve seen that movie. IMO, way better plant monster than this

    • @karacardinal1583
      @karacardinal1583 Рік тому +2

      The book was better

  • @StinkyOnApex
    @StinkyOnApex Рік тому +2

    this is my favorite thing you do... your toons got me here ty

  • @SergeiGurlukovich
    @SergeiGurlukovich Рік тому +2

    Corn subsidies help control the price of corn. The too many people grow a particular crop, the market value of that crop drops. It has been government practice since the Great depression to pay farmers to not grow certain crops for certain periods for that reason.
    As a framing device for a movie, it's pretty valid, i think.

  • @whitemagus2000
    @whitemagus2000 Рік тому +67

    Man, when i saw the original at about 8 years old it was super chilling to me. I can't remember if it was technically good or bad, but at the time, for a kid it was very creepy.

    • @adamadams54321
      @adamadams54321 11 місяців тому +1

      My mom loved the original and watched lots of horror movies with me as a child and I don't remember it very well, but this new one seems just awful. I think it was originally like a satanic kid cult not some corn monster....

  • @clairebourke8465
    @clairebourke8465 Рік тому +14

    I live in the Hawkesbury area of New South Wales in Australia and they filmed this heaps near me. Me and my family used to go walking and bike riding around this area when lockdowns hit cause it's a lot of plots of farm land and it's very picturesque and there's not many people around. It was so surreal they set up all the lights and equipment and stuff in this corn field they must've rented from a farmer it was relatively contained tho I don't remember how long the production lasted but we walked around the plot a couple different times on different days. It was quite the talk between us and another family that were friends with that went on walks there too. They set up a barn so they could explode it, we went to go watch them explode it but the production ran long and they didn't get around to it that day and exploded it some other time. They set up signs and stuff saying "welcome to Rylstone, Happiest Corn in Nebraska" which was very funny to me being in sub-rural New South Wales. Like I get that it's set in Nebraska but still lol

    • @SuperCosmicMutantSquid
      @SuperCosmicMutantSquid Рік тому +2

      Ah, I think that explains a lot. I joked that they just filmed this on a lot in LA because they didn't want to go to a state where they could film an actual cornfield.

  • @fodonkolous5442
    @fodonkolous5442 Рік тому +4

    I live in Nebraska and out here last year we got a lot of attention after some fires came in this time last year. A handful of towns had to get evacuated and it was a massive deal until partway through the summer. Fires like that would definitely attract a lot more attention.

  • @kbob5427
    @kbob5427 Місяць тому

    I like the yellow line on the bottom showing how long the ad is, more UA-camrs should do that

  • @bettya.k.abetty8259
    @bettya.k.abetty8259 3 місяці тому +1

    Me and my wife saw this movie and couldn't help but audibly laugh with every one else. I legitimately saw 5 people walk out and one of them said, "I don't even want my money back I just want to forget this crap" We sat through it but this movie isn't even good bad, it's just bad. It's on Hulu currently if ya'll wanna see it. I suggest popping a THC gummy or drinking if that's your thing if you don't live in a 420 friendly state....Trust me you're gonna have to not be sober to sit through this. The camera work is god awful, the lighting is horrid and the acting is Bethesda levels of Oblivion casting random strangers off the street.

  • @EndThusIAm
    @EndThusIAm Рік тому +50

    1:43
    Exactly how it felt editing and creating my comic dub for Sonichu. No matter what I could do, it didn't matter, the comic is such a mess that no editing can make it go smoother.

    • @bare_bear_hands
      @bare_bear_hands Рік тому +2

      Wait, why were you doing that? It has to be cash. How much did Chris Chan pay you?

    • @EndThusIAm
      @EndThusIAm Рік тому +4

      @@bare_bear_hands Zero, but he did give me his Seal of Approval when he finally decided to watch it. Now that he's out on bond, maybe he'll watch the finale. As for why...because I wanted to! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    • @Pheminon1
      @Pheminon1 Рік тому +2

      what.

    • @GodWeeps
      @GodWeeps Рік тому +1

      Been following the Christory on and off for years but this is the first I’ve heard of this. Watched a couple episodes and holy shit dude it’s sending me. The outro is *chefs kiss
      Thanks for this masterpiece

    • @EndThusIAm
      @EndThusIAm Рік тому

      @@GodWeeps Thanks! Hope you keep watching! And yeah, it hasn't quite left a mark but thankfully that wasn't my goal. Even GenoSamuel messed up by saying I did all the voices, taking credit away from my awesome cast!

  • @fickle_narwhal788
    @fickle_narwhal788 Рік тому +33

    13:12 the dad reminds me of Matthew McConaughey and given the context of farming, I find this infinitely funnier when I think about Interstellar.

    • @TheDrunkenCelt
      @TheDrunkenCelt Рік тому +2

      Also McConaughey played Randall Flagg in The Dark Tower, who is also He Who Walks Behind the Rows.

    • @cruztastrophe
      @cruztastrophe Рік тому

      @@TheDrunkenCelt wait is that actual lore from the Stephen King Literary Universe?

    • @TheDrunkenCelt
      @TheDrunkenCelt Рік тому

      @@cruztastrophe Yeah, its also why he's looming in a corn field when you first see him in The Stand.

  • @etgohome1343
    @etgohome1343 Рік тому +30

    I wish I could say "Damn, this is shocking cause this guy directed Equilibrium" but he also directed Ultraviolet so this is weirdly a step up

  • @Moltov42
    @Moltov42 Рік тому +1

    Love your editor/editing. Makes me haha.

  • @Watamanjam
    @Watamanjam Рік тому +4

    Nothing ever dies in corn was the cheesiest quote In the movie and the world like god damn

  • @Ryyi23
    @Ryyi23 Рік тому +166

    Papa Meat and Dead Meat need to do some collabs.

    • @basedbarackobama
      @basedbarackobama Рік тому +25

      The double meatcast

    • @SAHER-iv7gu
      @SAHER-iv7gu Рік тому +9

      waiting on the day deadmeat makes his meatcanyon universe debut

    • @allwoundup3574
      @allwoundup3574 Рік тому +6

      Dead meat is pretty mid

    • @BriarShinn
      @BriarShinn Рік тому +9

      @@allwoundup3574 Mega *L*

    • @Lazyboy5298
      @Lazyboy5298 Рік тому +2

      Fuck that, he should be a guest on Best of the Worst

  • @spectacularglasses4418
    @spectacularglasses4418 Рік тому +21

    I really enjoy the movie reviews Hunter, keep it up!

  • @daneascott9645
    @daneascott9645 Рік тому +39

    I've been so preoccupied with watching campy classic horror films from the 70s-90s that I didn't even realize a remake of this came out. Happy I didn't know! Lol

  • @androgynousmaggot9389
    @androgynousmaggot9389 11 місяців тому +2

    16:06 DEFINITELY days! Depending on the soil and the tools maybe even longer!

  • @VultureXV
    @VultureXV 6 місяців тому +2

    Really?
    They made the monster look like actual fucking corn?
    People are sooooo creatively bankrupt
    I would have designed it like a centipede-like phasmatodea that mimics the stalk-like grass plant with thin, shaggy legs and a long serpentine body. I'd have its mind control related to pheromones, and have those same pheromones cause intense anxiety and paranoia in the adults. I would keep the murders mostly off sight, playing off of an increased feeling of social distrust. Only to reveal that it was manufactured from the start by those you should trust the most in lieu with forces outside common understanding
    People are so creatively bankrupt...

  • @lauriep9067
    @lauriep9067 Рік тому +6

    Children of genetically modified corn sound's more fitting for this failure.

  • @TheWatchfuleye1
    @TheWatchfuleye1 Рік тому +22

    How does this man manage to be pumping out these videos, I assume hes has at least an editor but still they are getting these out often

  • @sugarbaby1974
    @sugarbaby1974 Рік тому +42

    No idea why, but "HOW ARE WE GONNA FEED OUR DUCKS" makes me laugh so fucking hard - replayed that part about 10 times LOLOLOL

    • @NEEDbacon
      @NEEDbacon 11 місяців тому +1

      Even better is cutting to a picture of Canadian Geese.

  • @McCreeedy
    @McCreeedy Рік тому +6

    I have rewatched a lot of topics covered by papa meat that I had seen on other channels or just in general, solely because of the editing on these videos. I like hunter he’s a funny guy by the editing on these videos are just chefs kiss. Please never stop being good at this shit

  • @c.r.k.7162
    @c.r.k.7162 2 місяці тому

    I'm from a farming state (not Nebraska) Crop subsidisation is a huge thing. It's used to control market prices. I can see how that part of the movie seems weird, but farmers getting paid to not grow crops is actually real.

  • @Onii-chan899
    @Onii-chan899 Рік тому +18

    Meat laughing at the idea of child abuse to the point he doesnt finish his sentence mads my day

  • @Ooooooooooooooooooooooooof
    @Ooooooooooooooooooooooooof Рік тому +21

    The entire time I was reading the short story these movies are based on, I fell further into "Oh no... Oh, oh no..." It's the type of short story that just leaves you a bit empty

    • @BigBongly
      @BigBongly Рік тому +9

      the last paragraph rlly brings it home on that, its chilling to the core. They cant fight back against it, it knows all, sees all, and there is nothing to be done

  • @chloemackinly6762
    @chloemackinly6762 Рік тому +21

    It felt like someone wanted to make a movie, but it was too close to Children of the own, so they just bought the rights for Children of the corn

  • @PearlCradle
    @PearlCradle Рік тому +1

    I'd like to point out the difference between the Red Queen and the Queen of Hearts
    Queen of Hearts = card, tyrannical and irrational, introduced in the book Alice in Wonderland
    Red Queen = chess piece, rational and has order, introduced in the book Through the Looking-Glass, and What Alice Found There

  • @sandllc1361
    @sandllc1361 Рік тому +1

    The government does pay people not to farm because there was an issue with over-farming in the past

  • @DuderScooter
    @DuderScooter Рік тому +26

    Letter to Papa’s Editor, Nick: don’t lose your plug’s number bro. The creativity is 👌💯 I hope you and Papa are true bros forever!

  • @spunc8820
    @spunc8820 Рік тому +24

    Sponsored or not that was the best Keeps ad ever: quick, painless, to the point and actually funny as far as ads go.

    • @ccgerrity
      @ccgerrity Рік тому +1

      He did a keeps ad too? Bc the one I saw was for gamer supps.. lol

    • @onholyservicebound1415
      @onholyservicebound1415 Рік тому +1

      I bought keeps because of that ad.

  • @tylergeorge52
    @tylergeorge52 Рік тому +68

    lol how tf did a gasoline soaked Bo not catch on fire?! 😂

    • @Wesker47584
      @Wesker47584 Рік тому

      What?!

    • @mallymay9439
      @mallymay9439 Рік тому +2

      that's exactly what I thought! that bothered me the most tbh

    • @Iceman96051
      @Iceman96051 Рік тому

      That's what I was wondering. I was assuming she'd just light herself up a long with the others but apparently the plot armor was too strong and they had to add in the really strange paranormal ending.

    • @mallymay9439
      @mallymay9439 Рік тому +4

      @@Iceman96051 it would have at least made a slightly more impactful death, like she knowingly sacrifices herself

    • @Ryu1ify
      @Ryu1ify Рік тому

      ​@@mallymay9439B-But then no surprise sequel bait ending 😢

  • @Channel-zs3gg
    @Channel-zs3gg Рік тому +1

    Them 3 standing in that podium 😂😂😂 and you mocking what the brother said for the jump scare part 😂😂😂

  • @roachdoggjr5647
    @roachdoggjr5647 8 місяців тому +1

    The Subsidy for not growing corn was most likely to promote crop rotation as it has a more positive benefit to soil health and productivity as opposed to growing one crop in the same soil year after year

  • @Madashell1200
    @Madashell1200 Рік тому +20

    It never ceases to amaze me with movies like this. How applying a basic degree of common sense to the situation could completely avoid the whole thing.

  • @adamt1316
    @adamt1316 Рік тому +60

    Papa meat is that cousin everyone has that when you go to their house his room has all these crazy posters and drawings, there’s like death metal playing, a non played guitar in the corner, swords hanging on the wall. He shows you your first porn Mag and has nun chucks lol but he’s the coolest cousin you have

    • @thestraydog
      @thestraydog Рік тому +9

      Not to mention the half smoked pack of cigarettes and the bottle of booze he has stashed under his mattress that his dad knows about and does nothing about

    • @AllyGatorAnimator
      @AllyGatorAnimator Рік тому +10

      This is both incredibly specific and scarily relatable. Bonus points if he has that one huge model of a monster from an obscure video game or horror movie which he is ITCHING for you to ask him about, just so he can go into a thesis-length discussion about how he got it and then play/watch the entire franchise with you.

    • @almond3066
      @almond3066 Рік тому +1

      I wouldn't really say that meat comes across like a grown man who shows innapropriate sxual stuff to children wtf lmao

    • @fell9654
      @fell9654 Рік тому

      02:56 NO

    • @drakegears
      @drakegears Рік тому

      ​@@AllyGatorAnimator ah but to be the UNCLE that inspired it all

  • @venahtmusic
    @venahtmusic Рік тому +23

    I love when Papa Meat laughs so hard I get concerned for his health

  • @CSingleton1995
    @CSingleton1995 Рік тому +7

    I love your work!! I just wanted to tell you that the plant on your desk needs more light! It's 'reaching' towards the light sources around it. I love your art!!!