I Have Bipolar Disorder and She Wants a Divorce
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- Опубліковано 17 жов 2024
- I Have Bipolar Disorder and She Wants a Divorce
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Bipolar Disorder is no excuse for abusing your spouse or for being rude. Its OK to get divorced. It's OK to save yourself.
It's not an excuse. It's life.
Life is not self-destruction.
That's all the life we live is! @@johntrevestal912
@@AishaMBudgets can’t spend that life being cruel to your partner and kids though.
5 kids and a bipolar husband. Bless her heart.
Nah, I know what I said Ben.
She's probably messed up too. Trauma attracts trauma.
Why are you even watching a counselor on UA-cam if you have a lack of empathy for people with mental illness? It seems a bit counterintuitive.
@@williamehlers5158 I enjoy trash TV
@@shelbysycamore637 but this isn’t tv… maybe you just enjoy trash. In that case, just take a look in the mirror.
Bless her. I dated a man with bipolar disorder. It wasn't easy.
My husband was diagnosed 4 yrs ago after a manic episode in which he was caught by myself being sexually inappropriate. I was in disbelief. In public no less. His moods, behaviors through out our marriage have been tumultuous to say the least. It is an destructive disorder. He's attempted suicide, been to rehab. He is now medicated, therapy, goes to bed at 10 pm. He does everything he should BUT it doesn't wash away all the pain that I've endured. It's alot for someone to handle.
God bless you and your family on this tough situation
I’m also married to a bipolar spouse and I feel this very deeply. I have suffered through years of CPTSD. And you just never get to breathe easy because even when things are “good” you’re always waiting for the other shoe to drop. You know it won’t last. It’s awful. Sending love ❤️
It's OK to leave and file for divorce. Dont let anyone tell you otherwise. Don't stay out of obligation and dont let anyone guilt you into staying.
@@elizabethpieters7798 yeah, vows before God mean nothing. Do you, sis.
@@WillIam79-c7f no God wants anyone to be abused mentally or physically. Vows and a marriage certificate doesn't give anyone the power or right to treat you badly.
How does an 11 year old not “have a good relationship with her mom” and had to be sent away? Bruh the whole family is in chaos
I'm thinking this guy is minimizing his whole situation
Who sends an 11 year old away because the mom isn’t happy that’s pretty bad
right?? i’m like wait so the mom sent her away?🥵🥵🥵
I thought EXACTLY the same!
My BP husband turned my kids against me. The kids saw the conflict and chose Dad’s side because that made them feel safe. They were safe to go against me, but not him.
They also saw how he disrespected me and thought that meant o didn’t deserve respect.
My adult children apologized for doing this. They were just scared.
Ppl with severe mental health problems can be very draining to deal with. They will literally suck the life out of you while blaming you and/or others rather than take the necessary steps to ensure their own good mental health
Which has nothing to do with this man because he's reaching out and trying to get the help that he needs.
@@AishaMBudgets maybe, but who knows how long he’s put off treatment and all that his mate had to endure before he got to this point….
For the moment only. The track record will likely be the future. Sad, but true. I lived through a mentally ill parent who played games with their medications.@@AishaMBudgets
Yes, unfortunately I am one of them and now divorced. I dont hide behind my illness but it is an illness and very difficult for family and surrounding community to deal with...and they really dont want to. I cant blame them
And who are you to judge?Because you don't know what this man has been through or has done.The greatest tragedy of mental health is that you can do everything on paper correctly and still not fucking feel better.@@Price8903
He’s trying and that’s all that matters. Wishing him all the best with his healing and his family
My husband is bipolar. He does everything he needs to do so I don’t have to worry about him taking meds, seeing a therapist, etc. But he still has ups and downs.
I think people who aren’t experienced with bipolar might not realize that even when medicated, the mood fluctuations still happen. They’re just less intense and are less likely to turn into full blown mania or psychosis. My husband is bipolar too
@@ChardeeMacdennis339 Thank you for explaining that, Chardee. I'm bipolar 2.
Best Advice I've heard in awhile. Only have as many kids that you could handle and afford alone.
Bipolar is extremely tough but i think alot of people is using that to keep from admitting they are assholes. I lived with untreated bipolar until last year, i started taking meds. Ive always been super close to my kids and family . Of course ive always been held accountable too so maybe that is the difference
Bipolar 1 is often more severe in it’s symptoms. Manic and depressive episodes are deepened and often they can be more destructive then BP Type 2.
Excellent advice & great honesty from the caller - he’s definitely on his way just on the honesty factor alone / keep up the great work man! Good wishes & God Bless too 😊👍🙏
We have a bipolar very close relative, it’s so hard to have any consistency unless we walk on eggshells the whole time, so we don’t upset her. If she gets offended by anything we say, she stops talking to us altogether, but won’t say why. We’ve been going through this for 20 years and once she didn’t speak to us for years. You have to not take it personally, but it’s impossible to like her a lot of the time
I have bipolar disorder type 1 and I can't see what her behavior has to do with bipolar. I think the problem is her personality. She's acting like that because that's who she is. People attributing all bad behavior to bipolar is disheartening and is a real disservice to those who have it. I constantly read comments attributing any and all erratic behaviors to bipolar which is frustrating. It's possible that people act certain ways because they're a bad person and not because they are a sick person.
@@melodywilliams9124the family is told by the world of psychology that we have to expect all this bad behavior and that it’s bipolar. I think a lot of families would love to have more clarity.
What a deep, dark hole some people live in. Hope they can find some light in their life someday.
My husband developed bipolar about 7 years into our marriage. We’ve been married 9 more years since then. I don’t know what to say other than it can be and frequently is very difficult… even though my husband takes care of himself and takes his meds. It’s much better than it was before he was properly diagnosed and medicated but yeah it’s hard 😞
You’re AMAZING Chardee.
It is so hard, and harder when culture says ‘get away from him’.
May God bless you with some joyful and good and calm times with your husband. And I hope you can find a few solid friends who will actively support you for the long haul - you cannot and should not do this alone.
God bless you, j
@@jackcoleman5955 thank you so much for that 😊
I admire your courage to share about your journey. Can I ask if you ever wondered if he had a mental illness before he showed significant symptoms? I got married to a man in his early fifties. Three months into our marriage he was displaying some very extreme emotional outbursts and other concerning behaviors. He began saying that he was going to have a nervous breakdown and that he needed to go to a mental hospital etc. He never mentioned anything about mental illness while we were dating so I was completely shocked by everything that was happening. At his age he says he has just now discovered that he is struggling with mental illness and I feel like he has deceived me by hiding his mental health issues. I spoke with his relatives and close friends and they say that he has always been like this. I just don’t believe that he is just discovering this and I don’t know what to do with this marriage now. It’s very sad and painful to go through this.
People can develop Bipolar after some time? I thought it was just undiagnosed but still present 🤔🤔🤔
@@fatvegan4621I know that it’s common for bipolar to happen during the early to mid twenties. At least bipolar one. Bipolar two can go undiagnosed or misdiagnosed for years. And yes, I believe it is present and not something that just develops.
This was hard to hear as the conversation went on. I to struggle with bioplar and I know how hard it is. I hope he successful in his recovery and he builds an amazing relationship with his kids.
Bi polar is legit scary stuff.. my buddy lost it and blew his head off. Was such a nice man. Stay on your meds peeps. What’s scary is he told his wife he was gonna delete her before he deleted himself. Left behind 4 kids 💔
So many for your loss so tough ❤️
I had a severely bi-polar polar mother! Hysterical episode of anger at least once a month which she said was the full moon! This was all her life we learned from her siblings when we were young adults! Blast to the past, she was beautiful, so talented, and a beautiful home! Married my self made well to do Dad in the 40's. Had 7 children! Fast forward to our childhood. It was terrifying, and she really wasn't a baby person nor a person who cares about anyone but her! She sewed beautifully for all five girls! But showed us off like
Trophies as a loving Mom ! But when home we were scolded, laughed at and berated us! I wasn't afraid of her as the sixth child, but I hated her and defended my siblings against her cruelty. Guess what? She refused help, no meds, no nothing! And only in her 80's did she ever apologize! I didn't attend her funeral, nor did I ever cry for her! Dad was a saint but an hour enable r. If he had left her he never could have gotten custody! He was afraid for our lives! RIP Dear Dad 💔 I'll see you in heaven one day ❤️🙏❤️
Hi, love. Me, too. My family, too. The medication experience has been horrific. There are no drugs that will heal you. Avoiding alcohol and street drugs and psychedelics will help your longevity. Lithium is a winner, but almost no one can take it without immediate horrific side effects. I am a mandated reporter. I have raised other people's children for forty years. No one ever gets to torture the children...ever.
This guy may be trying and I give him an A+ for effort but I don't see how he can run a home.
Maybe he can't and he needs to accept that. Separating may be the right thing. Instead he should work on being better. He should continue to provide child support. If she is open to phone calls and zoom he should do that.
He really gives amazing advise best therapist I have seen in a long time.
He is always so empathetic ❤🥹
Dr. felony just made him realize his marriage is over and the caller didn’t like that.
It is over buddy. 🤷🏻♀️
Do better for YOU first. Then you could be good to everyone else. 🤷🏻♀️
These A**hole men like him don’t understand or get it… he’s the type that’ll kill his whole family then himself
But...till death do u part...in sickness and in health...they not divorced
Yeah you can hear it in his voice how unhappy he was to hear that taking his medicine and seeking help wasn't enough to save his marriage after he's admitting being abusive so much so that the 13 year old daughter is traumatized and wants nothing to do with him.
I wonder how many times, while he stuck to his general practitioner and refused to take medication that he says working- how many times did his wife beg him to seek the actual help he needed only for him to refuse? I'm glad he's seeking help now but he needs to realize that not doing so for all those years while being cruel and saying hurtful things due to his mental illness isn't just something his family can forget. They're likely all scarred in some way and his wife needs to protect their children.
It's really sad. And all the people shaming the wife for leaving saying that God hates divorce and that she said "til death do us part," need to step out of the bubbles of their church congregations and spend some time volunteering in a women's shelter or something- take care of "the least of them" like Jesus said to.
5 kids, poor kids
I will pray for you, young man. I hear your struggles, trouble, and grief. Jesus Christ redeemed my life and is near to all who call upon him in faith: Turn thee unto me, and have mercy upon me, for I am desolate and afflicted. The troubles of my heart are enlarged: O bring thou me out of my distresses. Look upon mine affliction and my pain; and forgive all my sins. (Psalm 25:16-18)
🙄
@@erismana2105I respect if you don’t believe in this man’s faith and if you don’t agree with it. But can you stop with the pointless insult and negativity? Especially in a forum that has vulnerable people in the comments. We each are trying our best and if people find comfort and strength in religion then I am happy for them.
Usually men leave wives when they have cancer etc. To the point medical staff include it in their care plan. Tough luck man
😢😢
As wives leave husbands...both similar
@@wLBlueactually, statistically that is not the case ;)
My dad took the hinges off the door. Yup I'm bipolar too btw
My parents took the hinges off my bedroom door as a teen. It was beyond traumatizing.
I feel so sorry for this man and his family. Please remember he is a victim of this diecise. And so is his family. Not one of them choosed this! I hope everything works out for him with his meds and he gets the support he needs when his head betraying him.
You have such a great head and heart John.
I am just left here, praying that this man finds a a solid Rock, an anchor of Hope, and a friend that sticks closer than a brother ( or therapist or counselor)
Not that those roles aren't important, but one thing is needful.
🙏🕊
Bipolar is not an excuse to be abusive. Behavior is still a choice and he is responsible for his behavior and the impact it has on others. No mental illness is an excuse to be abusive......and no partner is obligated to endure abuse. Poor woman. I feel for her. I can only imagine how worn down and exasperated she is. She feels like she's out of options and leaving is the only option left. 😢
It would probably really help if he stopped saying abusive things to his wife and kids. I (very briefly) dated a man with bipolar. The stuff that would come out of his mouth was vile.
That's who they really they just use being crazy as an excuse
@@erismana2105 Exactly right!
That's an asshole thing. Not all bipolar people are that way. Don't get me wrong when I get extremely mad, I'll eventually tell you how I really feel but that takes someone just dishing it out for years.
@@littlewoodchopper2659 He had medically diagnosed bipolar disorder that he claimed he was on medication for, but after briefly knowing him either he was lying about being on medication or his dosages needed to be increased A LOT. Also he wasn’t mad or upset, just psychotic.
But was it true what he was saying?
I like Dr. John most out of Ramsey's group. He seems different from the others like he understands every day woos or issues. Ramsey himself is cool, but I get the impression his children cannot relate to the everyday Joe like a Dr. John type can somehow. It probably isn't for this reason exactly, but you can tell Ramsey's kids grew up w/ $. Yes I know Ramsey had his ups and downs and was likely strict about how the kids were treated in said way, but he was very successful. My point is Dr. John can relate to the 18 year old kid having a porn addiction or the 60 year old man who just lost a son.
If a woman wants to leave just let her go and don’t chase or beg.
Absolutely right! Don't fight for things that matter!
That was a hard call.
She needs to leave and never look back. Sorry fella, putting her through this for the rest of her life is not right. Get yourself right so hopefully you can have some sort of positive impact on your kids later in life.
💯!!!!!!
4:20 eating meds & sleep is for you. That's hard for us to do
No alcohol and limit caffeine.
I feel for that wife and children… my god that teen daughter has seen too much.
I'm bipolar too this should interesting
Yes it does seem like this marriage is over, but we should not say it loud. I think it can be arrogant for the reason i heard Jordan Petersen speak. He said We should not predict the destiny of other people. I know the marriage looks like it’s on the end, but personally would refuse to predict the end of it or even survival. Let’s hope for the best.
General practice don't work long term. Even county offices don't work bc care is split shrink does this dr perscribed that it's too much to get rounded care
Dude sounds like he needs a nap.
I wondered too. Think it's the meds or/and he feeling depressed. Poor guy.
I suspect my wife is bipolar but poorly diagnosed by a gral practitioner in a 3rd world country. Given paroxetine just fed up her mania & mood swings, and right now, i am watching her packing up just before leaving me. She changed from 100% freedom lover to a sad face now. Not my fault, always been perfect, lovin, carin husband and beg her not to leave. I'll feedback u in a couple of weeks.
Hi, how are you doing now?
My ex bipolar wife, no thank you ! It was hard to rid her!
Doctor John...are you a physician? Psychiatrist?
He has a Phd and that makes his a dr
Even when he’s in the wrong, the husband is self reporting. You’ll never see a woman accept accountability their own behavior let alone on a public platform.
I’ll be bipolar too if I have five children 😫
Run from somebody who is bipolar.
What a loving response.
@@AishaMBudgetsYou’ve been all through out the comments encouraging the caller’s behavior or sympathizing with him,yet berating his wife who has had to deal with verbal abuse and having her life turned upside down. You’ve stated that you also suffer from bipolar disorder and you need to get help. If this is how you are online the people around you are suffering.
But the letters to the daughter would be b.s.
Why did he wait so long?
A lot of people who are like this are in denial and don't think they need help and/or it's like they blackout and when they come to they don't remember what they did. It's like the surge of emotions/hormones is so great it's an overload to the brain and they have no idea what happened. My mom was the latter when growing up. She'd always get confused why I was crying after she had an episode then came to and I would tell her it was because she hurt me. I thought her answers of "Why would you say that I wouldn't do that to you!" was her lying to and messing with me to be cruel when I was young. Now that I'm older I'm pretty sure she was acting honestly. It's still difficult dealing with her though and we don't have a good relationship, for many reasons.
Please research keto/carnivore way of eating. What a person eats and does not eat affects behavior. The keto way of eating is documented to help people with problems. Please look into it.
Yeah bro. She made a vow to stay with you in sickness and in health until she dies. But women are allowed to take it back at any time. Didn’t you read the Bible ?
Anyone (man or woman) can take it back if they are in danger.
For better or worse, anybody?
I guess it only counts for a physical illness🤷♀️
@@nai5949 when you abuse your children then you need to leave.
forget it. signed 21 years and dumped
Yes. For better or for worse and it’s okay to be safe too and make sure that your children are safe. Do you have any suggestions on what that should look like?
If my spoused harmed my children emotionally or physically - you’re done. Her children are top priority - not a grown adult man.
I wonder if being married to her has caused this?
You think his Wife caused him to develop bipolar disorder?
@@julesm9498
Yes, it's typical when someone marries and regrets it.
@@GardenerEarthGuy Disagree. Bipolar has a genetic component, its not caused by regret.
@@julesm9498
Listening to him sounds like the wife has some lib doctor helping her convince him he's crazy. It's her fault and he needs to see it this way.
Lol that's not how mental illness works, AT ALL.
awe a grown man playing victim. Cute!
What a disgusting thing to say.
That was mean! Looks like someone has her own issues to work on......
The cold and jaded Evelyn has come out of her cave spitting venom🧙♀️ Need a hug love?
Exactly. He’s the asshole and acts like it’s the wife 😂 typical manipulative man.
Thanks for telling me all about you, Ev.