I'm glad you brought up that a lot of influencers talk about how they need these products to "do their job." That always sat strangely for me - like, you only actually need cameras and access to the internet to do your "job." You work for yourself - you are the only person who controls what videos you upload. You don't need the products to do your job - you have made the personal choice to do product-based videos for whatever reason, and it's okay to say that lol. It just feels thoughtless when content creators say that they can't do their job without product. Which boss is telling you that you can't make UA-cam videos unless brands send you products, and you buy products and "review" them? I saw one influencer say that free PR and sponsorships are comparable to any other job - e.g. she said something along the lines of doctors not having to pay for their supplies, or an office worker not paying for the office furnitire they use... it was so misleading. The difference is that if you're not paying for your supplies, it's because you work FOR someone else who paid for it! The business owner pays you a wage, and then they also pay for supplies. In contrast, for "influencers," they are the business owner; they don't actually work for the brands who send them products and do sponsorships. They turn themselves into glorified sales people and it's so strange how defensive they get about it. It's kind of sad to me, especially in the case of free PR - the brand gets all the benefits of influencer marketing without having to pay them like they would pay an employee.
Yes! I feel like it's a sign that they're not totally okay with what they're doing, if someone has to be defensive about possibly being criticized for overconsuming because of their "job". I find that the critical comments I've received on here don't bother me at all because they're either about something I can't control (voice/appearance) or they're pointing out an issue that I am comfortable acknowledging and/or have spoken about directly (I have so much stuff, I'm not actually doing no buy, etc) - or in some cases they help me expand my critical thinking.
I've read Stolen Focus probably 3 times now (along with two other Johann Hari books) and it is SO GOOD! I suspect people who are here because they are looking to consume all things more mindfully, including media, may find it very insightful too. I love that Hari doesn't take the "here are some tricks to work on yourself to do better" approach but actually investigates the problem and possible solutions. Highly recommend!
Using things I buy often doesn’t totally negate regret for me because the reason I regret the purchase is not because it doesn’t work for me or isn’t useful but more because it didn’t make me feel different, or change my view of myself or my life. So I might buy a jacket that I use often, fits me well, is a quality piece, but I still feel disappointed because the jacket doesn’t make me feel better about my style, my attractiveness, my ability to upcycle something , or whatever. But by recognizing this, I have been able to slowly ask myself before buying something, “do you want/need this thing, or are you trying to get a feeling through this thing?” And if the answer is that I want the feeling ( of peace, of acceptance, of accomplishment, etc.) then I redirect my efforts towards something that will meet that need more directly. Thank you for sharing your thoughts! 😊
Ooh thank you for this insight! I think sometimes when I get to that point of realizing that it doesn't make me "feel different" I am then left confronting the fact that now I have one more jacket than I had before (to stick with the jacket example) and, do I really need it? But it doesn't address being to able to ask this question BEFORE the buying, so that's powerful. There are some things still on my radar of "wants" (like the jeans I've mentioned a few times on this channel already) and I do think part of wanting them is how I think they'll make me feel...it's a combination of a physical feeling (comfortable), practical style feeling (a more casual pants option for my casual work environment) AND intangible style feeling (that I'll feel "edgy" and "cool" wearing them). They're an item that's stuck in my mind from April or whenever I first talked about wanting them! But this is another angle through which I'll examine my desires before getting to the point of purchase...more on that in another video 👀
I always look in the public library for books-and now it’s all so easy online. If I have books I don’t need, I donate them to the library. Don’t worry. I still have plenty of books I use or just love, but the library has saved me a fortune. In case it’s a new book I can’t wait to read I have an Audible subscription.
Rhapsody in Blue is such fun! -I love the personal little quiz with your intros. 'What is she playing?! Do I know this one?!' I LOVE that you reflected on WHY you didn't like the book and are going to apply that to book purchases in the future! It took me YEARS of book reviews to figure out why certain books/genres/authors just didn't vibe, but god it made purchasing easier! Ohhh...the sheet music. It's also ok to have collections of things that make you happy. If the sheet music makes you happy and is something you look forward to instead of feeling guilty/weird about, then it's a good thing to have around!
I tend to look for things to like in books, rather than thinking critically, (I used to finish every book I started even if I didn't like it at all!) which is why it's perhaps even more important for me to NOT buy a book unless I know I want to keep it, I'm finally learning. I think I do need to do a book declutter to truly understand that I should stop with the book-buying though 😅
I really liked this approach you took. I feel like I use Poshmark in a similar way way as a reminder of clothes I bought that didn’t work out. It’s helpful to scroll through my sold listings and remind myself when I’m tempted that oh yah, I sold all my skirts because I don’t like wearing them. I dont need a denim shirt lol
Wow this video really resonates - I bought this knit sweater and pencil skirt set last fall and still haven't worn them. I thought about the purchase for so long (it was an online purchase so I didn't see the items in person first) and got so excited when I finally ordered them, but surprise - I'm not as tall as the model and I feel like they're not the most flattering on me...the guilt of the regret makes me want to shove them into the back of my closet but this video has inspired me to actually try to use them and see how I feel. Love your videos and your candor!
I've also realized that some of the things I've been most excited to buy aren't as flattering as I thought they'd be, despite being tall myself. I don't like the way pencil skirts look on me either actually - I've had a sweater-pencil skirt set before too and ended up just wearing the sweater (before I wore it out and decluttered it - the set was from Walmart back in the day.) Hope you gain some insight from actually taking your set out for a spin 😊
I think it's really interesting that you chose to tell everyone they could leave after less than 2 minutes. I know watch time impacts the UA-cam algorithm (or at least it used to?) and most influencers try to hold something back in order to increase watch time. Not sure if this was an intentional choice on your part or if you were just being cheeky, but it made me wonder how you feel about the attention economy as a creator. Loving your channel 😊 thanks for making me think!
Both intentional and cheeky! 😉 I'm obviously not opposed to people choosing to stay just to listen to me chat, but I want to be transparent that I'm not promising expertise or life-changing wisdom here. Nor do I really care if I'm blessed by the algorithm. I do not like the attention economy - or at least, the view that all attention is good, more views is better etc...despite views = more money...and money is undeniably helpful. I am fortunate enough to be able to make money doing things I enjoy and have expertise in (teaching and playing music) so I can afford to let my videos here simply exist, and find the right audience, without trying to game the system.
You know if the greens powder bugs you a lot you could always just use it as garden fertilizer lol. That would return it to nature and then you wouldn't have to see it anymore!
I have said this before, but I have to say it again, I love your channel! I love all your ideas, I love how you articulate them, and I love the mission. Thank you
As an elderly person I can relate to the process of learning from our mistakes. That’s what’s important. I do not regret these lessons, but I regret the many things I’ve bought and given away. Sometimes they were stand ins for things I really wanted but couldn’t afford at the time. I admire people who can be patient and save up. I also regret some skin care product I recently bought, thanks to an influencer. I guess that shows I still have more to learn 😂
I bought a COS set because they featured one of my favorite painters, last year.. I havent worn the pants once because they wrinkled after I washed them upon receiving them, and I felt like they were very classy yet the colors are summer-like with flower patterns, so i just didn't take any 'risk' forcing myself to wear them. But now I feel like trying them on tomorrow and if it's really as annoying as I fear, selling them or giving them away.
Oh man. I bought some collagen matcha powder and I have regrets. It was expensive and I have not even used it yet. I just need to make some ice cubes and start to use it.
I know you are in a no buy year for a while now so maybe that influences your answer to this question; but what I am wondering throughout this video is this. How do you prevent the 'trying to turn regrets into successes' to encourage you to buy more in that same category? I.e. I have an excess of perfume, which I enjoy to some extent but also eats up more of my budget then I'd like it to, I used to deal with that by just wearing perfume every day and seeing myself go through the juice in the bottle. However, I have periods where that can lead to ''see this bottles are emptying I cóúld just add this one more bottle to the stock'' despite my intent to not buy any more perfume.
I think the answer lies in cultivating a desire for simplicity, for less, for possibly more "curation" (but not necessarily paired with shopping or acquiring) - I'm doing this more and more in my wardrobe because I'm regularly tempted by clothing, whether it's more of what I already like or trying new styles. But ultimately I want to be more free to say no to things that I want, as well as have a "signature style" that comes from a more edited collection. Wearing my favorites more often, so that they become "iconic" for me. Reminding myself that any new item will reduce the use of my favorites, and also asking myself "if I could only have one, would this be it? Would it even be in the top 3?" is also helpful. I'm about to try a Capsule Wardrobe based on the "if I could only have one" question, so I'll probably share some of these thoughts in that future video 😊
A slightly off- topic: I often use your videos like a poscast episode, for example I prefer to listen to it while I commute or I do chores at home. However, ever since I became a member, when I lock my phone or pull up another app, eg whatsapp or safari, the video stops. Is this a feature or bug of UA-cam membership? I can imagine that they try to limit video access… And is it only for me or have others experience the same?
I just googled this and apparently it is an issue on UA-cam's side, where it happens with videos that are currently only available to members. Which seems a bit silly to me! I also use videos to play in the background so that limits the functionality of things. I hope they fix this 🤨eventually I may move to Patreon to be able to offer videos without the ads at all, but for this year I'm keeping things simple. (I'll have to check if Patreon can run video in the background!)
I am wondering if anyone here has a good rule of thumb about how long to try to make something a success. I bought a new type of micellar water. I was very satisfied with my old one hut I really wanted to try a local, seemingly high quality cosmetics brand. But ever since I started using it, my skin doesn’t look good - although this can be due to increased stress level I have lately. But to be honest, I don’t even like its texture somehow… So any example stories, how much effort you put into turning into success before you declare failure?
So I think it's highly dependent on the type of item we're talking about - in the case of a consumable daily product like the micellar water, I don't think I'd give it very long, especially if it seems to be making your skin look worse. I hate to waste anything but I have come to the conclusion that for things like this I am better off using it as a learning experience - a reminder to stick to what I know I like, try and sample things first, buy the smallest size possible, etc. (not saying you don't already do this!) and if I have the budget to replace it, I'd be okay with letting it go. I had that moment of reckoning doing my "makeup declutter" earlier this year, it was really hard to put even old, expired makeup products into the trash...but I was never going to use them again. I didn't need to replace them either, they weren't fulfilling any needs whatsoever...so I'm just trying to use that feeling of how hard it was to throw them away, to inform future decisions if I start wanting a new makeup product. (And I DID find myself wanting to re-buy the decade-old naked palette I threw away since I saw it was re-released as a limited edition. But I have not missed using it, so I know I don't need it! I wouldn't know this for sure, if I had kept the old one just because I didn't want to throw it away). If it's something like a piece of clothing, it might take one or two seasons to really give something a chance and also style can evolve depending on circumstances, body, etc...also clothing can be passed on rather than just disposed of or recycled, so these days I'll hold onto things like clothes or books until I can resell them.
I'm glad you brought up that a lot of influencers talk about how they need these products to "do their job." That always sat strangely for me - like, you only actually need cameras and access to the internet to do your "job." You work for yourself - you are the only person who controls what videos you upload. You don't need the products to do your job - you have made the personal choice to do product-based videos for whatever reason, and it's okay to say that lol. It just feels thoughtless when content creators say that they can't do their job without product. Which boss is telling you that you can't make UA-cam videos unless brands send you products, and you buy products and "review" them? I saw one influencer say that free PR and sponsorships are comparable to any other job - e.g. she said something along the lines of doctors not having to pay for their supplies, or an office worker not paying for the office furnitire they use... it was so misleading. The difference is that if you're not paying for your supplies, it's because you work FOR someone else who paid for it! The business owner pays you a wage, and then they also pay for supplies. In contrast, for "influencers," they are the business owner; they don't actually work for the brands who send them products and do sponsorships. They turn themselves into glorified sales people and it's so strange how defensive they get about it. It's kind of sad to me, especially in the case of free PR - the brand gets all the benefits of influencer marketing without having to pay them like they would pay an employee.
This is so true, I wish for a change in this consumerist hellscape!
Yes! I feel like it's a sign that they're not totally okay with what they're doing, if someone has to be defensive about possibly being criticized for overconsuming because of their "job".
I find that the critical comments I've received on here don't bother me at all because they're either about something I can't control (voice/appearance) or they're pointing out an issue that I am comfortable acknowledging and/or have spoken about directly (I have so much stuff, I'm not actually doing no buy, etc) - or in some cases they help me expand my critical thinking.
I've read Stolen Focus probably 3 times now (along with two other Johann Hari books) and it is SO GOOD! I suspect people who are here because they are looking to consume all things more mindfully, including media, may find it very insightful too. I love that Hari doesn't take the "here are some tricks to work on yourself to do better" approach but actually investigates the problem and possible solutions. Highly recommend!
I love that too, and I would love and encourage Alexa to share some of her favs because I feel like we have a similar taste!
I'll get to it! 😁
Using things I buy often doesn’t totally negate regret for me because the reason I regret the purchase is not because it doesn’t work for me or isn’t useful but more because it didn’t make me feel different, or change my view of myself or my life. So I might buy a jacket that I use often, fits me well, is a quality piece, but I still feel disappointed because the jacket doesn’t make me feel better about my style, my attractiveness, my ability to upcycle something , or whatever. But by recognizing this, I have been able to slowly ask myself before buying something, “do you want/need this thing, or are you trying to get a feeling through this thing?” And if the answer is that I want the feeling ( of peace, of acceptance, of accomplishment, etc.) then I redirect my efforts towards something that will meet that need more directly. Thank you for sharing your thoughts! 😊
Ooh thank you for this insight! I think sometimes when I get to that point of realizing that it doesn't make me "feel different" I am then left confronting the fact that now I have one more jacket than I had before (to stick with the jacket example) and, do I really need it? But it doesn't address being to able to ask this question BEFORE the buying, so that's powerful.
There are some things still on my radar of "wants" (like the jeans I've mentioned a few times on this channel already) and I do think part of wanting them is how I think they'll make me feel...it's a combination of a physical feeling (comfortable), practical style feeling (a more casual pants option for my casual work environment) AND intangible style feeling (that I'll feel "edgy" and "cool" wearing them). They're an item that's stuck in my mind from April or whenever I first talked about wanting them! But this is another angle through which I'll examine my desires before getting to the point of purchase...more on that in another video 👀
I always look in the public library for books-and now it’s all so easy online. If I have books I don’t need, I donate them to the library. Don’t worry. I still have plenty of books I use or just love, but the library has saved me a fortune. In case it’s a new book I can’t wait to read I have an Audible subscription.
Rhapsody in Blue is such fun! -I love the personal little quiz with your intros. 'What is she playing?! Do I know this one?!'
I LOVE that you reflected on WHY you didn't like the book and are going to apply that to book purchases in the future! It took me YEARS of book reviews to figure out why certain books/genres/authors just didn't vibe, but god it made purchasing easier!
Ohhh...the sheet music. It's also ok to have collections of things that make you happy. If the sheet music makes you happy and is something you look forward to instead of feeling guilty/weird about, then it's a good thing to have around!
I tend to look for things to like in books, rather than thinking critically, (I used to finish every book I started even if I didn't like it at all!) which is why it's perhaps even more important for me to NOT buy a book unless I know I want to keep it, I'm finally learning. I think I do need to do a book declutter to truly understand that I should stop with the book-buying though 😅
I really liked this approach you took. I feel like I use Poshmark in a similar way way as a reminder of clothes I bought that didn’t work out. It’s helpful to scroll through my sold listings and remind myself when I’m tempted that oh yah, I sold all my skirts because I don’t like wearing them. I dont need a denim shirt lol
Wow this video really resonates - I bought this knit sweater and pencil skirt set last fall and still haven't worn them. I thought about the purchase for so long (it was an online purchase so I didn't see the items in person first) and got so excited when I finally ordered them, but surprise - I'm not as tall as the model and I feel like they're not the most flattering on me...the guilt of the regret makes me want to shove them into the back of my closet but this video has inspired me to actually try to use them and see how I feel. Love your videos and your candor!
I've also realized that some of the things I've been most excited to buy aren't as flattering as I thought they'd be, despite being tall myself. I don't like the way pencil skirts look on me either actually - I've had a sweater-pencil skirt set before too and ended up just wearing the sweater (before I wore it out and decluttered it - the set was from Walmart back in the day.)
Hope you gain some insight from actually taking your set out for a spin 😊
I think it's really interesting that you chose to tell everyone they could leave after less than 2 minutes. I know watch time impacts the UA-cam algorithm (or at least it used to?) and most influencers try to hold something back in order to increase watch time. Not sure if this was an intentional choice on your part or if you were just being cheeky, but it made me wonder how you feel about the attention economy as a creator. Loving your channel 😊 thanks for making me think!
Both intentional and cheeky! 😉
I'm obviously not opposed to people choosing to stay just to listen to me chat, but I want to be transparent that I'm not promising expertise or life-changing wisdom here. Nor do I really care if I'm blessed by the algorithm. I do not like the attention economy - or at least, the view that all attention is good, more views is better etc...despite views = more money...and money is undeniably helpful. I am fortunate enough to be able to make money doing things I enjoy and have expertise in (teaching and playing music) so I can afford to let my videos here simply exist, and find the right audience, without trying to game the system.
You know if the greens powder bugs you a lot you could always just use it as garden fertilizer lol. That would return it to nature and then you wouldn't have to see it anymore!
Ooh I didn't think of that!
I have said this before, but I have to say it again, I love your channel! I love all your ideas, I love how you articulate them, and I love the mission. Thank you
Thank you so much!
As an elderly person I can relate to the process of learning from our mistakes. That’s what’s important. I do not regret these lessons, but I regret the many things I’ve bought and given away. Sometimes they were stand ins for things I really wanted but couldn’t afford at the time. I admire people who can be patient and save up. I also regret some skin care product I recently bought, thanks to an influencer. I guess that shows I still have more to learn 😂
I bought a COS set because they featured one of my favorite painters, last year.. I havent worn the pants once because they wrinkled after I washed them upon receiving them, and I felt like they were very classy yet the colors are summer-like with flower patterns, so i just didn't take any 'risk' forcing myself to wear them. But now I feel like trying them on tomorrow and if it's really as annoying as I fear, selling them or giving them away.
Remember this: you are not overdressed, everyone else is underdressed. We used to wear petticoats. Wear that fun classy set
Oh man. I bought some collagen matcha powder and I have regrets. It was expensive and I have not even used it yet. I just need to make some ice cubes and start to use it.
Amen
I know you are in a no buy year for a while now so maybe that influences your answer to this question; but what I am wondering throughout this video is this. How do you prevent the 'trying to turn regrets into successes' to encourage you to buy more in that same category? I.e. I have an excess of perfume, which I enjoy to some extent but also eats up more of my budget then I'd like it to, I used to deal with that by just wearing perfume every day and seeing myself go through the juice in the bottle. However, I have periods where that can lead to ''see this bottles are emptying I cóúld just add this one more bottle to the stock'' despite my intent to not buy any more perfume.
I think the answer lies in cultivating a desire for simplicity, for less, for possibly more "curation" (but not necessarily paired with shopping or acquiring) - I'm doing this more and more in my wardrobe because I'm regularly tempted by clothing, whether it's more of what I already like or trying new styles. But ultimately I want to be more free to say no to things that I want, as well as have a "signature style" that comes from a more edited collection. Wearing my favorites more often, so that they become "iconic" for me.
Reminding myself that any new item will reduce the use of my favorites, and also asking myself "if I could only have one, would this be it? Would it even be in the top 3?" is also helpful. I'm about to try a Capsule Wardrobe based on the "if I could only have one" question, so I'll probably share some of these thoughts in that future video 😊
❤
A slightly off- topic: I often use your videos like a poscast episode, for example I prefer to listen to it while I commute or I do chores at home. However, ever since I became a member, when I lock my phone or pull up another app, eg whatsapp or safari, the video stops. Is this a feature or bug of UA-cam membership? I can imagine that they try to limit video access…
And is it only for me or have others experience the same?
I just googled this and apparently it is an issue on UA-cam's side, where it happens with videos that are currently only available to members. Which seems a bit silly to me! I also use videos to play in the background so that limits the functionality of things. I hope they fix this 🤨eventually I may move to Patreon to be able to offer videos without the ads at all, but for this year I'm keeping things simple. (I'll have to check if Patreon can run video in the background!)
I am wondering if anyone here has a good rule of thumb about how long to try to make something a success.
I bought a new type of micellar water. I was very satisfied with my old one hut I really wanted to try a local, seemingly high quality cosmetics brand.
But ever since I started using it, my skin doesn’t look good - although this can be due to increased stress level I have lately. But to be honest, I don’t even like its texture somehow…
So any example stories, how much effort you put into turning into success before you declare failure?
So I think it's highly dependent on the type of item we're talking about - in the case of a consumable daily product like the micellar water, I don't think I'd give it very long, especially if it seems to be making your skin look worse. I hate to waste anything but I have come to the conclusion that for things like this I am better off using it as a learning experience - a reminder to stick to what I know I like, try and sample things first, buy the smallest size possible, etc. (not saying you don't already do this!) and if I have the budget to replace it, I'd be okay with letting it go. I had that moment of reckoning doing my "makeup declutter" earlier this year, it was really hard to put even old, expired makeup products into the trash...but I was never going to use them again. I didn't need to replace them either, they weren't fulfilling any needs whatsoever...so I'm just trying to use that feeling of how hard it was to throw them away, to inform future decisions if I start wanting a new makeup product. (And I DID find myself wanting to re-buy the decade-old naked palette I threw away since I saw it was re-released as a limited edition. But I have not missed using it, so I know I don't need it! I wouldn't know this for sure, if I had kept the old one just because I didn't want to throw it away).
If it's something like a piece of clothing, it might take one or two seasons to really give something a chance and also style can evolve depending on circumstances, body, etc...also clothing can be passed on rather than just disposed of or recycled, so these days I'll hold onto things like clothes or books until I can resell them.