This happened 2 sessions ago. (4 weeks ago) We were retrieving stolen dragon eggs and returning them to our dragon ally. We had to infiltrate a laboratory and get to the bottom floor to retrieve the eggs. An emergency happened, and we basic had to bluff our way out of the situation, saying, "We need to get the eggs to safety." The bluff worked on the guards, the scientists, AND THE MINI BOSS OF THE LAB. Only the goblin grunts knew our true intentions.
This was back in 3.5 and I was playing as an assassin, think Ezio from the Assassin's Creed games, I was in a group where we were infiltrating a castle to get some information, Myself and another party member found ourselves in a room full of mirrors, My party member and I got caught up in a couple magic mirrors. He got turned into an animal for a while, I rolled and after hearing the DM cackle, I was a bit nervous. Turns out, my assassin, got genderbent into a girl. For shits and giggles, I rolled for bust size, Nat 20, from this the DM said 'I'm gonna take away from your stealth rolls while this is in effect, but add to your charisma, with a boost in persuasion.'. It was a wild few sessions after.
This literally happened earlier today. We spent 2 IRL hours making our way down a straight, vertical shaft. The fighter used a hover board (long story), the artificer used spider climb boots, and I… well, I yoloed it, a free fall straight down 5 miles. At the end, I was going about 120 f/s, according to some rough math. Through expending two magic items and jumping off my shield, I was able to slow down enough to shoot my grappling hook and not get my arm yanked off (instead, as I was playing a Thri-Kreen, my whole exoskeleton was shattered). I was unconscious, but still alive. But I hadn’t reached the ground, and I out-of-character, really wanted to reach the ground before the fighter (we had a semi-competitive relationship to say the least). So the DM let my hook wiggle out, and I fell the remaining 60 ft and fully shattered my carapace. However, I still hadn’t been outright killed (the table runs hitting 0/ death saves a bit differently). But I was pretty sure the character was cooked upon a poor medicine check from the fighter, and the artificer (who had all of the healing items), was still 30 minutes up. So I pulled my soul into the magical grappling hook prosthetic and proceeded to make a whole lotta puns through telepathy. A few examples were; how I hoped I’d been ‘handy’ to the party, how ‘metal’ I now was, and, because it was a right sided prosthetic, I mentioned how I was ‘all right’ now. While there were many more, the one I was proudest of was when a powerful wizard was offering me a deal to get a mechanical body. I thought it would be a costly deal, so I told him ‘I can’t accept, that must cost an arm and a leg.’
Happened last session. We got into a fight with an ape over some supply drop (apocalyptic campaign) and the party psychic used his highest-damaging ability to kill a 4 health ape with the power of gaslighting it into thinking it was dead. Funny shit
This happened a while ago. Two characters in the party I was in decided to go for a drink and got fairly intoxicated. One was an elf wizard and the other was a dwarf barbarian. They somehow convinced the town guard that they weren't drunk as hell and decided to go shopping. One vendor was selling an apple that she claimed had incredible healing properties, and was selling for a hefty price. The wizard decides it would be a fantastic idea to steal said apple. He tries to reach for it, shopkeep catches him and tells him off. He tries to knock out the shopkeep, and she rolls a NAT 20 to counter. He gets pinned and ends up walking away. By the way, have you ever heard of the Burning Hands spell? The barbarian convinces the wizard to commit arson using said spell while he snarches the apple. Half the market ended up in flames. My wizard, the druid, and the other barbarian managed to put out the fire and some kids died in the fire. Unfortunately, they think the dwarf barbarian is who started the fire and lock him up, deciding to execute him the next day. We then had to come up with a whole new plan to save, and then go rescue, the dwarf barbarian. All for one. Stupid. Healing. Apple.
Oh God this one only happened yesterday. We just started a short all dwarf camping to retrieve the axe of dwarvish lords from Hell. I opted to play a tempest cleric and as a gag only spoke in AC/DC lyrics. I later realized my.... Let's say verbally limited dwarf. Is somehow the only one in the party who can speak infernal. Yes we all knew we were going to Hell. No I don't know how on earth I can effectively be a translator. Because I absolutely refuse to not commit to the bit.
I once tried lockpicking an _open_ door, effectively closing it, I then tried to open it back up, got a critical faliure, and activated the deadbolt, making it impossible to open from now on. Thankfully me and my party ended up burning the whole damn house to the ground later so whatever.
Half the group spent an hour negotiating with a tribe, carefully considering if they should help them or not, while the other half were planning to plant a bomb in case the negotiations failed. While it seemed the group was on the way to make a deal with the tribe in exchange of what they wanted, a character asked another what was the plan in case this failed in front of the priestess doing the negotiating. The other character rolled a wisdom nat 1 in the opposing check, and ended up pulling out the bomb in the middle of the throne room, loudly explaining how they were gonna plant a bomb and make it blow up to create a diversion long enough to bring killer beasts in, killing everyone. Understandably, the priestess screamed for help, which triggered a response from a player to hit her hard in the face out of instinct, sending her flying. As you can guess, the players threw the bomb, and then tried to let the killer bloodthirsty beasts inside the throne room. A, quite literal, breakdown of negotiations.
We were walking through a village and I was taking the lead as a champion/warpriest (Pathfinder equivalent to a paladin cleric multiclass, think something like a templar knight and you've got the idea.) I fell into three spike traps in a row and died. I just straight up got the Vietnam special. Less than ten seconds between each trap triggering.
My party was trapped in a dungeon, looking for a way out. They are going to get a MacGuffin on an island in the middle of a lake that has a lot of bones littering its bottom. They successfully get over to the island using control water and decide they want to look for valuables near the island under the water. Well, they found the source of the curse on the lake under the water, an obviously magical Stele covered in runes that the artificer noticed were binding runes. He took a look at it and said, "Guys, we don't want to deal with whatever that thing is binding so let's go." To which the Ranger being played by a "Loot Goblin" decided to fire an arrow at it, hoping to find something valuable. He rolled a Nat 20 beating the things AC of 25 and absolutely doing more than 10 damage to it, which shattered the magical binding runes, letting free 3 shadows, 2 specters, a Wraith, and a very powerful Ghost. They almost died and all they got to show for it was a Cloak of Elvenkind.
My campaign, the Warlock placed his talking skull (arcane focus) inside a planar portal, when it commanded he do so. No argument, no questions; just put the skull in the portal. EVEN THOUGH HE KNEW THE SKULL WAS A TRAPPED ELDRITCH HORROR. The Far Realm horror escaped from the skull and manifested in the chamber where the party gathered; already ready to fight a group of Azer. He was the same player who stepped on a compactor-room pressure plate, knowing it was there. Luckily, both times, no wipe haha love the guy though, he is funnily enough our Rules Lawyer
So I am playing my first pathfinder campaign, and I am playing an orc barbarian. My party and I found a sort of underground casino, kind of like a speakeasy. We met one of the new guys there, but he was cheating. This upset the house, who (unbeknownst to us) was run by a fae. We get grabbed and pulled into the back by the guards, and they reveal this itty bitty little fae with a REALLY deep voice. We all get a curse. My orc barbarian gets a curse where he instantly knew everything about geology and had to constantly ramble on about it. What my GM did not know, though, was I had just completed a semester of both geology and geology lab, and so I IMMEDIATELY made good use of the curse. My simpleminded barbarian would point out every type of stone used in pathways, would mention the weathering done on topsoils, and even mention the processes that make certain rocks.
I have a good story for this one. Was playing with a couple of friends, it was only me one other player so the DM gave us an NPC (this DMPC was good trust) so it was me (a dwarf forge domain cleric) my friend (a tortle vengeance oath paladin) and the dmpc (a tiefling arcane archer). We were about 5th level when we came across a band of cultists we were tracking down. We set up an ambush and I ended up killing one of the cultists. Instead of fighting the rest, I pretended to be a bush god (we were hiding in bushes) and ended up scaring the rest of the cultists away. I had a -2 charisma modifier and rolled with disadvantages but rolled 2 18's. Funniest thing ever.
I put a skeletal knight at the top of the stairs at the end of the first floor of my crypt. It was meant as a deterrent. The first floor was for PCs 1-4 and the second floor was for 5-8. Take note that the knight knew that the party was there, but it just didn’t care and didn’t engage. I informed the party of this. A group of level 4s collectively decided to attack the knight. After they realized it had 18 AC (it got bad init rolls and the party got a 17 and 18 to hit) and that they’re attacks weren’t exactly doing a whole lot, combined with the fact that the attacks were hitting like a truck, they fled thanks to the battle master miraculously proccing menacing attack on the knight.
This one is one of my favorites. The party were opening up some chests in a dungeon several of which turned out to be booby trapped and one of our players got poisoned. My sorcerer pipes up after a few traps had already been activated. "If you are done being idiots I would like to cast mage hand now to open the remaining chests from a safe distance." *All of them had forgot I had mage hand the entire time.*
I’m playing a changeling sorcerer noble who ran away from home and on the first session which was a couple days ago she took the form of a guy to disguise herself. We went on through almost the entire session before we realized that changelings shapeshifter abilities doesn’t affect their clothes. So the entire session she was going through around town as a guy wearing the dress of a noblewoman who literally just went missing. That false identity was then put on several lists lol
You want to hear about the time I one-hit KO'ed a Werebear with a single punch as a Ranger? Or the time in Daggerheart when the Rogue thought it was a good idea to pick a fight with the tank?
My character (Eula) in the current campaign is extremely Lawful (though on a cosmic scale, rather than worried about the various "laws" that shift and change over time and depending where in the world you are). To the point he won't say anything that isn't true, doesn't like it when anyone around him does, won't use any types of illusion, etc. The party is fighting their way through a section of the underdark to find a secret passage a castle the enemy army is hold up in. They're not going into the castle at this time, they have some other stuff to take care of before making the final assault, they're just finding and clearing the path for when it's time. The passage we're following ends up coming out into one of the restrooms of the castle (coming in through the sewers basically). Nyx (the stealthy one) scouts ahead and finds out that the passage comes out in the girls bathroom. Cure a 45 minute derail as everyone starts joking about how men aren't allowed so Eula can't go in there. Speculation about using something like polymorph to turn him into a girl so he can, and similar assorted silliness. It went on so long that after that session I found a genderbent picture of the character I'm playing and made it into a mini because I'm about 95% sure that when it's time they'll bring it up again.
@@SoulcatcherLucario The funny thing is that's what his name is. I left out all the background since it wasn't relevant, but they're all npcs in a long abandoned mmo (using actual AIs to organically generate content instead of everyone having the same experience), and Eula is one of the greater AIs that created the world, and after that was done they repurposed him into customer support (dealing with player's problems, ban appeals, scams, and so on).
A gnome cleric was investigating three giant brewing kettles for how it worked NAT 20 Then he proceded to turn a valve when the giant kettles was on high pressure NAT 1 He broke the valve and the inn almost drowned in fermenting liquid.
We are running a DnD 5e campaign with the setting of Naruto. My character is a ninjutsu specialist (basically squishy human wizard). I decided to knock on a random coffin after traversing a trippy forest and finally making it to the magic well that needed to get judged by. Rolled a d100 and lo and behold the coffin opens. I make a ploy with a bouquet of flowers to the absolute UNIT of an ancient warrior who went insane. I rolled a Nat20 and the massive warrior grabbed my squishy little head. This, correctly, made everyone crap themselves. He let go after a second reading my characters memories. He sat down and my character pulled out a bento box and he ate it. After a moment he walked off and my character lays on the ground having a panic attack lol. She was already not doing well mentally. Can’t wait to see what happens next. I hope he becomes an ally after that.
Not including continuous failures at puzzles? The Young White Dragon, as they lay before the party, their wings torn and life close to being ended, stares at them with steel determination and resolve burning in it's eyes. It then suddenly lowers it's head and stares at the party with what can only be described as puppy dog eyes. The DM says, roll saves against being seduced. As you may guess, the dragon got a 20, the party of 4 all rolled below 10. The Dragon now has a bunch of followers (harem) that help expand it's horde.
Mimics and Nagas are not magical creatures in 5E. Bone Nagas perhaps might be considered magical under the rules of detect magic because they are undead, however the mimic is not magical at all.
This happened last Saturday. I'm playing playing in a homebrewed Spelljammers campaign. I'm playing as a harengon glamour bard and have taken the role of captain, seeing as I was the most charismatic of our party of four. We had arrived on a planet known as Turtanox. A planet with a geography broken up into layers (at least how I remembered it) and we we were trying to avoid landing in the most hostile layer of the planet. What happens? We begin to land our ship, a hulking battleship with terrifying maw of a cannon at the front. It scrapes against an outpost belonging to a race of aarkocra. Que SpongeBob saying "Keep going! You're good! You're good! You're good...!" Needless to say, the bird folk were not happy and decided to attack the ship. Next session we'll have to figure out how we're going to deal with an angry group of birds after we trashed their perch. I'm a hatengon, and the only memeber of the group that resembles a bird of prey's most favored...prey...
In my last game we were being attacked by a green dragon, our tank dodge an attack and was pretending to be injured to lure the dragon into melee range. My druid is a dumbass sees his friend screaming in pain, so of course i ran over to check on him. I rolled a nat one on medicine so my druid was convinced he was missing an arm. So of course i healed my tank who was at full health.
DM could have made it so that the fighter neve got anywhere cause they were swimming up stream. Would work if the player didn't specify they were swimming across the river.
When I catapulted an alchemy jug full of acid at the bbeg at dealt 70 damage, and then a party member proceeded to beat the bbeg using the power of friendship
TDIR: A character uses a prior character's name (a known terrorist) as an alias without any prior research, consequences ensures for OOC nonsense. Wasn't there for the last session, but one member of the party picked an Alias for a heist which was in direct reference to a prior member of the party from the last campaign (which took place, 5 years ago IG to give it context). That prior member of the party was both known as a Republican terrorist and had been arrested at least twice for trespassing into republic space, and had probably been on a brutal crime spree since he seemed to take exception to anyone who slighted him. This name was picked without any research to what that character had been up to or even who he was, it was purely a OOC reference and a gag line. That name was picked while I was there and I recall staring at them with a "really, THAT name?" expression, but my character wouldn't know who they were either so the reference would've gone over her head. That was two sessions ago. Last session the Spynet pulled the name up and dragged that member in for a brutal interrogation. Apparently, despite not matching the description, using that name in a rich gala was enough to trigger a security alert as that individual's existence was *not* public knowledge and was known as a very dangerous individual who is a wanted fugitive, and had been rampaging throughout the underworld on a personal campaign the punisher would consider tastefully scant. They wanted to know why they knew that name and *why* they were at the Gala, where some of the richest son's of ladies (no women, this is the richest of man clubs) are hanging out. So now our job has gotten harder and we might have to enact a rescue or at the very least, a permanent silencing job while trying to get what we came for. I guess technically it didn't happen *last* session, but the consequences had certainly hit them then.
ok so... i need to explain my character a tad before i tell the stupid thing(s) he did.. i made a semi-joke character (named "Hugh Mann Mai'el" )for a 6 session "one shot" through the death house. (i dont think any of this is spoilers but warning non the less). my character has the Dark Gift of Symbiotic Being.. but with a twist. i had a 15 year old boy (named "Xander Halvax" ) who was a witherbloom student and a druid. in his backstory i explained that he was attempting to replicate an experament a professor had done but he failed. the failure produced a crystaline mushroom that devoured and replaced his left eye. the mushroom's roots dug into him and fused with his brain and nervous system. this is his symbiotic being. now the twist is that the mushroom gained majority control over the body so my character was the mushroom and had the kid's personality in his head (i did swap a few times and ultimately found an item to supress the mushroom by "replacing" the dark gift with another but thats where the shenanigans pretty much ended so not impirtant for this). now, the crystal mushroom is a brand new entity, just "born" a month prior to the one shot's timeline. as such, hes curious about *everything* and has no danger sense. this leads to the stupid things he did: tried to befriend a monster that had a mouth of teeth like the sarlac pit (even going as far as petting it and feeding it).. he failed but it left without any issue. saw a hand in a tree surrounded by fog and immediately walks over and touches it. when it disappeared into the fog higher up in the tree, he uses produce flame and throws it up into the tree to see where it went.. lit the tree on fire (the kid forces control of the body to use druidcraft and put the flame out before the forest burned down) found a suit of armor display that looked like it was resting its hands on a sword but the sword was in another room. ran over, grabbed the sword, and returns it to the armor... *roll initiative* .. finally defeat the armor, all members of the party are very injured (there was only 3 of us at the time, my druid, a rogue, and a ranger) but instead of resting and/or healing in a safe location he walks into a nearby walkin closet.. *roll initiative* .. (there was a flying broom that attacked.. this also downed my druid as the ranger lights the room on fire) lastly we make it down into the crypts and start exploring.. oh look, a water pot. i can use that to replace my bent one.. wonder if anythings inside... *roll initiative* .. we had a total of 7 combats and my character started 4 of them.. 3 out of the mushroom's curiocity and lack of danger sense.. 😂
had to free the party out of a vault three times in a row because their characters couldnt memorize the mechanism to open the lock. had to lend the paladin a hand while climbing because she wanted to. she is a centaur in heavy armor. had to stop the sorceress from trying to participate in a horse race. she is a yuan ti pureblood without legs, basically a half snake. had to tell the warlock to stop shying away from confronting npcs and enemies. she is still a minotaur with strength and constitution at 18. one charge and theyre done. the bard. she is a serious artist who needs to perform whenever inspiration hits her. literal depiction of the devils violinist, yet somehow closest person to ever finish a full pacifist run for no reason other than her art is meant to inspire and not hurt living beings. cannot be asked to defend a party member, not even if theyre blocking the attackers jaws. my rogue had to fend off four war dogs and their handler by himself. got at least buffs and healing. all of that was just one session.
Ok so per usual for my group stupid story. That being said so one of the players in my group who doesn't have a backpack for whatever reason pulled out a violin. Questions were raised as to where his violin is kept, jokes were made that he keeps in in his "prision wallet " everyone starts laughing, I honestly have no idea what came over me, but without thinking I said in my best male version of Alyson Hannigan impression I said "And this one time, at band camp...." everyone erupted in laughter....... I love my dnd group lmao
The party was chilling in the guild's inn after beating a boss. And the warlock got a little too excited with the drinks, so I asked him to roll con and see how drunk he got. Nat 1. The next morning, he woke up hugging a dwarf, with 4 other dudes laying on his bed. After hearing "good morning, handsome" from the one closer to him, he ran from the bedroom, forgetting his goods in the process. Edit: sorry for the bad English, by the way.
Wasnt there for this but heard through friends My friend's party got to witness their warlock's patron deity a DnD version of Steven He's dad get into an argument with an NPC warloc's patron deity, of whom was that other asian guy (his name escapes me) who does videos in the same style It went back and 4th with the DM actining out them throwing DnD-ified versions of asian stereotypes Till the Steven He copier says "I more asian patron than you.... I not only make more money than our cousin Timmy be selling bootleg and better 3rd party versions of Asian dads than you" Patron version of Steven He's dad says "Oh don't lie, no one makes more money than our cousin Timmy"
Okay, so. It's not dnd at all, it's our own sci-fi universe with unique system, but still. So, we have a small band of 5 people: Gorenam(Me, a leader. Basically an XCOM muton) Garom(Another muton, but with 1 intellegence.) Redhead(He is... random. We dont really know what he wants, he just fluctuates around) Grandpa Joe(Really old dude with dementia. His signature move is trying to greet a wall. He actually has a different name, but that one stuck.) Didjit(10 INT hacker, the only one in the team who I can trust) So, we went on a shady mission, and as a result, we got convicted for 3 years in prison. Joe got really unlucky, and every single month got into a hospital because one random dude kept beating him up. After some time, administration decided that he is probably violent, and moved him as punishment from me to another dude. That dude tried to r*pe Joe, but with nat 20, uncle jot thought that other guy tried to greet him, so he... *Shook hands* With all his force with... You know, leaving the guy mentally wounded. After all of this, when we got out of the prison, 6th person started playing. meet: Rassel(A doctor from earth. People from earth are really smug, think that they are better than everyone, and very clean) He was put there by megacorp to look after Joe, because he was violent and borderline crazy. Of course, I hate this Rassel guy, and start being very protective about grandpa. And decide to put him to a little test. While we drive to murder the drug dealers, the team notices a brothel. Didjit, Rassel and Joe decide to visit it. I say to Didjit: "Look over this russel guy, dont let him stay alone with Joe". When they enter, Didjit buys a prostitute and leaves. Trustworthy guy. Joe buys the most expensive one, and doctor just enters with him. When Joe falls unconscious, Rassel takes his place. After that, we continue to the drugdealer place, where Rassel without much questions proceeds to kill them, and even murders the one who was giving up(It's a REALLY big crime in this world). Of course, he is a deserving member of our team, later losing an arm while saving 500 guys from slavery of alien species, and becoming a national hero.
Party gets ambushed while searching a sewer system while looking for clues to where the campains bbeg is hiding end up finding him. Bbeg brings abunch of statues to life which begin attacking the party warforged goes down, the rouge gets knocked out, fighter, 2 wizards, and my barbarian are the only ones left but im the only one not actively dieing. Im out numbered and decide if im gona die im doing somrthing stupid and roll 3 consecutive nat 20s to slap one of the statues with my characters shlong. This sets in motion a series of events where the statue takes 1 damage and my barbarian takes 1 damage, all of the statues kill there selfs, the bbeg facepalms says wtf and runs, and realize i managed to save the party through the most convoluted and idiotic series of events that the dm tried extremely hard to make impossible to happen going so far as making the rolls require a 19 or higher. the event became known as the dickening and still called the greatest achivement in my group.
It's detect magic. Not detect creature. I side with the DM. Especially for a Mimic. A mimic is a creature indistinguishable from a normal chest. Detect magic won't detect it.
The bard rolled so low on his attempt to sing on a street corner that he got pelted with garbage by the crowd.
This happened 2 sessions ago. (4 weeks ago) We were retrieving stolen dragon eggs and returning them to our dragon ally. We had to infiltrate a laboratory and get to the bottom floor to retrieve the eggs. An emergency happened, and we basic had to bluff our way out of the situation, saying, "We need to get the eggs to safety." The bluff worked on the guards, the scientists, AND THE MINI BOSS OF THE LAB. Only the goblin grunts knew our true intentions.
Who even listens to the goblin grunts
@@jenoyt1337 right?
This was back in 3.5 and I was playing as an assassin, think Ezio from the Assassin's Creed games, I was in a group where we were infiltrating a castle to get some information, Myself and another party member found ourselves in a room full of mirrors, My party member and I got caught up in a couple magic mirrors. He got turned into an animal for a while, I rolled and after hearing the DM cackle, I was a bit nervous. Turns out, my assassin, got genderbent into a girl. For shits and giggles, I rolled for bust size, Nat 20, from this the DM said 'I'm gonna take away from your stealth rolls while this is in effect, but add to your charisma, with a boost in persuasion.'. It was a wild few sessions after.
This literally happened earlier today.
We spent 2 IRL hours making our way down a straight, vertical shaft. The fighter used a hover board (long story), the artificer used spider climb boots, and I… well, I yoloed it, a free fall straight down 5 miles.
At the end, I was going about 120 f/s, according to some rough math. Through expending two magic items and jumping off my shield, I was able to slow down enough to shoot my grappling hook and not get my arm yanked off (instead, as I was playing a Thri-Kreen, my whole exoskeleton was shattered). I was unconscious, but still alive.
But I hadn’t reached the ground, and I out-of-character, really wanted to reach the ground before the fighter (we had a semi-competitive relationship to say the least). So the DM let my hook wiggle out, and I fell the remaining 60 ft and fully shattered my carapace.
However, I still hadn’t been outright killed (the table runs hitting 0/ death saves a bit differently). But I was pretty sure the character was cooked upon a poor medicine check from the fighter, and the artificer (who had all of the healing items), was still 30 minutes up.
So I pulled my soul into the magical grappling hook prosthetic and proceeded to make a whole lotta puns through telepathy. A few examples were; how I hoped I’d been ‘handy’ to the party, how ‘metal’ I now was, and, because it was a right sided prosthetic, I mentioned how I was ‘all right’ now.
While there were many more, the one I was proudest of was when a powerful wizard was offering me a deal to get a mechanical body. I thought it would be a costly deal, so I told him ‘I can’t accept, that must cost an arm and a leg.’
Happened last session. We got into a fight with an ape over some supply drop (apocalyptic campaign) and the party psychic used his highest-damaging ability to kill a 4 health ape with the power of gaslighting it into thinking it was dead. Funny shit
This happened a while ago. Two characters in the party I was in decided to go for a drink and got fairly intoxicated. One was an elf wizard and the other was a dwarf barbarian. They somehow convinced the town guard that they weren't drunk as hell and decided to go shopping. One vendor was selling an apple that she claimed had incredible healing properties, and was selling for a hefty price. The wizard decides it would be a fantastic idea to steal said apple. He tries to reach for it, shopkeep catches him and tells him off. He tries to knock out the shopkeep, and she rolls a NAT 20 to counter. He gets pinned and ends up walking away. By the way, have you ever heard of the Burning Hands spell? The barbarian convinces the wizard to commit arson using said spell while he snarches the apple. Half the market ended up in flames. My wizard, the druid, and the other barbarian managed to put out the fire and some kids died in the fire. Unfortunately, they think the dwarf barbarian is who started the fire and lock him up, deciding to execute him the next day. We then had to come up with a whole new plan to save, and then go rescue, the dwarf barbarian. All for one. Stupid. Healing. Apple.
Oh God this one only happened yesterday. We just started a short all dwarf camping to retrieve the axe of dwarvish lords from Hell. I opted to play a tempest cleric and as a gag only spoke in AC/DC lyrics.
I later realized my.... Let's say verbally limited dwarf. Is somehow the only one in the party who can speak infernal. Yes we all knew we were going to Hell. No I don't know how on earth I can effectively be a translator. Because I absolutely refuse to not commit to the bit.
A SHORT all dwarf campaign.
Talk about redundant.
I once tried lockpicking an _open_ door, effectively closing it, I then tried to open it back up, got a critical faliure, and activated the deadbolt, making it impossible to open from now on.
Thankfully me and my party ended up burning the whole damn house to the ground later so whatever.
Half the group spent an hour negotiating with a tribe, carefully considering if they should help them or not, while the other half were planning to plant a bomb in case the negotiations failed. While it seemed the group was on the way to make a deal with the tribe in exchange of what they wanted, a character asked another what was the plan in case this failed in front of the priestess doing the negotiating. The other character rolled a wisdom nat 1 in the opposing check, and ended up pulling out the bomb in the middle of the throne room, loudly explaining how they were gonna plant a bomb and make it blow up to create a diversion long enough to bring killer beasts in, killing everyone. Understandably, the priestess screamed for help, which triggered a response from a player to hit her hard in the face out of instinct, sending her flying.
As you can guess, the players threw the bomb, and then tried to let the killer bloodthirsty beasts inside the throne room. A, quite literal, breakdown of negotiations.
We were walking through a village and I was taking the lead as a champion/warpriest (Pathfinder equivalent to a paladin cleric multiclass, think something like a templar knight and you've got the idea.) I fell into three spike traps in a row and died. I just straight up got the Vietnam special. Less than ten seconds between each trap triggering.
My party was trapped in a dungeon, looking for a way out. They are going to get a MacGuffin on an island in the middle of a lake that has a lot of bones littering its bottom. They successfully get over to the island using control water and decide they want to look for valuables near the island under the water. Well, they found the source of the curse on the lake under the water, an obviously magical Stele covered in runes that the artificer noticed were binding runes. He took a look at it and said, "Guys, we don't want to deal with whatever that thing is binding so let's go." To which the Ranger being played by a "Loot Goblin" decided to fire an arrow at it, hoping to find something valuable. He rolled a Nat 20 beating the things AC of 25 and absolutely doing more than 10 damage to it, which shattered the magical binding runes, letting free 3 shadows, 2 specters, a Wraith, and a very powerful Ghost. They almost died and all they got to show for it was a Cloak of Elvenkind.
My campaign, the Warlock placed his talking skull (arcane focus) inside a planar portal, when it commanded he do so. No argument, no questions; just put the skull in the portal. EVEN THOUGH HE KNEW THE SKULL WAS A TRAPPED ELDRITCH HORROR. The Far Realm horror escaped from the skull and manifested in the chamber where the party gathered; already ready to fight a group of Azer. He was the same player who stepped on a compactor-room pressure plate, knowing it was there. Luckily, both times, no wipe haha love the guy though, he is funnily enough our Rules Lawyer
PANR has tuned in once more.
So I am playing my first pathfinder campaign, and I am playing an orc barbarian. My party and I found a sort of underground casino, kind of like a speakeasy. We met one of the new guys there, but he was cheating. This upset the house, who (unbeknownst to us) was run by a fae. We get grabbed and pulled into the back by the guards, and they reveal this itty bitty little fae with a REALLY deep voice. We all get a curse. My orc barbarian gets a curse where he instantly knew everything about geology and had to constantly ramble on about it. What my GM did not know, though, was I had just completed a semester of both geology and geology lab, and so I IMMEDIATELY made good use of the curse. My simpleminded barbarian would point out every type of stone used in pathways, would mention the weathering done on topsoils, and even mention the processes that make certain rocks.
I have a good story for this one. Was playing with a couple of friends, it was only me one other player so the DM gave us an NPC (this DMPC was good trust) so it was me (a dwarf forge domain cleric) my friend (a tortle vengeance oath paladin) and the dmpc (a tiefling arcane archer). We were about 5th level when we came across a band of cultists we were tracking down. We set up an ambush and I ended up killing one of the cultists. Instead of fighting the rest, I pretended to be a bush god (we were hiding in bushes) and ended up scaring the rest of the cultists away. I had a -2 charisma modifier and rolled with disadvantages but rolled 2 18's. Funniest thing ever.
I put a skeletal knight at the top of the stairs at the end of the first floor of my crypt. It was meant as a deterrent. The first floor was for PCs 1-4 and the second floor was for 5-8.
Take note that the knight knew that the party was there, but it just didn’t care and didn’t engage. I informed the party of this.
A group of level 4s collectively decided to attack the knight. After they realized it had 18 AC (it got bad init rolls and the party got a 17 and 18 to hit) and that they’re attacks weren’t exactly doing a whole lot, combined with the fact that the attacks were hitting like a truck, they fled thanks to the battle master miraculously proccing menacing attack on the knight.
Successfully casting Vicious Mockery while Silenced.
This one is one of my favorites. The party were opening up some chests in a dungeon several of which turned out to be booby trapped and one of our players got poisoned. My sorcerer pipes up after a few traps had already been activated. "If you are done being idiots I would like to cast mage hand now to open the remaining chests from a safe distance." *All of them had forgot I had mage hand the entire time.*
This is going to be good
I’m playing a changeling sorcerer noble who ran away from home and on the first session which was a couple days ago she took the form of a guy to disguise herself. We went on through almost the entire session before we realized that changelings shapeshifter abilities doesn’t affect their clothes. So the entire session she was going through around town as a guy wearing the dress of a noblewoman who literally just went missing. That false identity was then put on several lists lol
You want to hear about the time I one-hit KO'ed a Werebear with a single punch as a Ranger? Or the time in Daggerheart when the Rogue thought it was a good idea to pick a fight with the tank?
My character (Eula) in the current campaign is extremely Lawful (though on a cosmic scale, rather than worried about the various "laws" that shift and change over time and depending where in the world you are). To the point he won't say anything that isn't true, doesn't like it when anyone around him does, won't use any types of illusion, etc. The party is fighting their way through a section of the underdark to find a secret passage a castle the enemy army is hold up in. They're not going into the castle at this time, they have some other stuff to take care of before making the final assault, they're just finding and clearing the path for when it's time. The passage we're following ends up coming out into one of the restrooms of the castle (coming in through the sewers basically). Nyx (the stealthy one) scouts ahead and finds out that the passage comes out in the girls bathroom.
Cure a 45 minute derail as everyone starts joking about how men aren't allowed so Eula can't go in there. Speculation about using something like polymorph to turn him into a girl so he can, and similar assorted silliness. It went on so long that after that session I found a genderbent picture of the character I'm playing and made it into a mini because I'm about 95% sure that when it's time they'll bring it up again.
love the story, hate how i read your character name as "end user license agreement"
@@SoulcatcherLucario The funny thing is that's what his name is. I left out all the background since it wasn't relevant, but they're all npcs in a long abandoned mmo (using actual AIs to organically generate content instead of everyone having the same experience), and Eula is one of the greater AIs that created the world, and after that was done they repurposed him into customer support (dealing with player's problems, ban appeals, scams, and so on).
@@Xarestrillholy shit that is so funny and creative, love it 😭
The last one I was expecting three gnomes stacked up inside a trench coat for some reason!😂😂😂
A gnome cleric was investigating three giant brewing kettles for how it worked NAT 20
Then he proceded to turn a valve when the giant kettles was on high pressure NAT 1
He broke the valve and the inn almost drowned in fermenting liquid.
We are running a DnD 5e campaign with the setting of Naruto. My character is a ninjutsu specialist (basically squishy human wizard). I decided to knock on a random coffin after traversing a trippy forest and finally making it to the magic well that needed to get judged by. Rolled a d100 and lo and behold the coffin opens. I make a ploy with a bouquet of flowers to the absolute UNIT of an ancient warrior who went insane. I rolled a Nat20 and the massive warrior grabbed my squishy little head. This, correctly, made everyone crap themselves. He let go after a second reading my characters memories. He sat down and my character pulled out a bento box and he ate it. After a moment he walked off and my character lays on the ground having a panic attack lol. She was already not doing well mentally. Can’t wait to see what happens next. I hope he becomes an ally after that.
Not including continuous failures at puzzles?
The Young White Dragon, as they lay before the party, their wings torn and life close to being ended, stares at them with steel determination and resolve burning in it's eyes. It then suddenly lowers it's head and stares at the party with what can only be described as puppy dog eyes. The DM says, roll saves against being seduced. As you may guess, the dragon got a 20, the party of 4 all rolled below 10. The Dragon now has a bunch of followers (harem) that help expand it's horde.
"Your Mom Dad, and Dad Mom love you very much."
Mimics and Nagas are not magical creatures in 5E. Bone Nagas perhaps might be considered magical under the rules of detect magic because they are undead, however the mimic is not magical at all.
Agreed. It is detect magic. Not detect creature. Player was trying to metagame with a mechanic that is the DM's call.
This happened last Saturday. I'm playing playing in a homebrewed Spelljammers campaign. I'm playing as a harengon glamour bard and have taken the role of captain, seeing as I was the most charismatic of our party of four. We had arrived on a planet known as Turtanox. A planet with a geography broken up into layers (at least how I remembered it) and we we were trying to avoid landing in the most hostile layer of the planet. What happens? We begin to land our ship, a hulking battleship with terrifying maw of a cannon at the front. It scrapes against an outpost belonging to a race of aarkocra. Que SpongeBob saying "Keep going! You're good! You're good! You're good...!" Needless to say, the bird folk were not happy and decided to attack the ship. Next session we'll have to figure out how we're going to deal with an angry group of birds after we trashed their perch. I'm a hatengon, and the only memeber of the group that resembles a bird of prey's most favored...prey...
How does a DM not know how Detect Magic works? It's... It's in the name?
In my last game we were being attacked by a green dragon, our tank dodge an attack and was pretending to be injured to lure the dragon into melee range. My druid is a dumbass sees his friend screaming in pain, so of course i ran over to check on him. I rolled a nat one on medicine so my druid was convinced he was missing an arm. So of course i healed my tank who was at full health.
Our warlock wanted to to on a cr 8 enemy for quest purposes and he got both him and the fighter down
DM could have made it so that the fighter neve got anywhere cause they were swimming up stream. Would work if the player didn't specify they were swimming across the river.
When I catapulted an alchemy jug full of acid at the bbeg at dealt 70 damage, and then a party member proceeded to beat the bbeg using the power of friendship
Update: The raccoon people also ascended to the heavens
TDIR: A character uses a prior character's name (a known terrorist) as an alias without any prior research, consequences ensures for OOC nonsense.
Wasn't there for the last session, but one member of the party picked an Alias for a heist which was in direct reference to a prior member of the party from the last campaign (which took place, 5 years ago IG to give it context). That prior member of the party was both known as a Republican terrorist and had been arrested at least twice for trespassing into republic space, and had probably been on a brutal crime spree since he seemed to take exception to anyone who slighted him. This name was picked without any research to what that character had been up to or even who he was, it was purely a OOC reference and a gag line. That name was picked while I was there and I recall staring at them with a "really, THAT name?" expression, but my character wouldn't know who they were either so the reference would've gone over her head. That was two sessions ago.
Last session the Spynet pulled the name up and dragged that member in for a brutal interrogation. Apparently, despite not matching the description, using that name in a rich gala was enough to trigger a security alert as that individual's existence was *not* public knowledge and was known as a very dangerous individual who is a wanted fugitive, and had been rampaging throughout the underworld on a personal campaign the punisher would consider tastefully scant. They wanted to know why they knew that name and *why* they were at the Gala, where some of the richest son's of ladies (no women, this is the richest of man clubs) are hanging out.
So now our job has gotten harder and we might have to enact a rescue or at the very least, a permanent silencing job while trying to get what we came for. I guess technically it didn't happen *last* session, but the consequences had certainly hit them then.
ok so... i need to explain my character a tad before i tell the stupid thing(s) he did..
i made a semi-joke character (named "Hugh Mann Mai'el" )for a 6 session "one shot" through the death house. (i dont think any of this is spoilers but warning non the less). my character has the Dark Gift of Symbiotic Being.. but with a twist. i had a 15 year old boy (named "Xander Halvax" ) who was a witherbloom student and a druid. in his backstory i explained that he was attempting to replicate an experament a professor had done but he failed. the failure produced a crystaline mushroom that devoured and replaced his left eye. the mushroom's roots dug into him and fused with his brain and nervous system. this is his symbiotic being. now the twist is that the mushroom gained majority control over the body so my character was the mushroom and had the kid's personality in his head (i did swap a few times and ultimately found an item to supress the mushroom by "replacing" the dark gift with another but thats where the shenanigans pretty much ended so not impirtant for this). now, the crystal mushroom is a brand new entity, just "born" a month prior to the one shot's timeline. as such, hes curious about *everything* and has no danger sense. this leads to the stupid things he did:
tried to befriend a monster that had a mouth of teeth like the sarlac pit (even going as far as petting it and feeding it).. he failed but it left without any issue.
saw a hand in a tree surrounded by fog and immediately walks over and touches it. when it disappeared into the fog higher up in the tree, he uses produce flame and throws it up into the tree to see where it went.. lit the tree on fire (the kid forces control of the body to use druidcraft and put the flame out before the forest burned down)
found a suit of armor display that looked like it was resting its hands on a sword but the sword was in another room. ran over, grabbed the sword, and returns it to the armor... *roll initiative* ..
finally defeat the armor, all members of the party are very injured (there was only 3 of us at the time, my druid, a rogue, and a ranger) but instead of resting and/or healing in a safe location he walks into a nearby walkin closet.. *roll initiative* .. (there was a flying broom that attacked.. this also downed my druid as the ranger lights the room on fire)
lastly we make it down into the crypts and start exploring.. oh look, a water pot. i can use that to replace my bent one.. wonder if anythings inside... *roll initiative* ..
we had a total of 7 combats and my character started 4 of them.. 3 out of the mushroom's curiocity and lack of danger sense.. 😂
had to free the party out of a vault three times in a row because their characters couldnt memorize the mechanism to open the lock.
had to lend the paladin a hand while climbing because she wanted to. she is a centaur in heavy armor.
had to stop the sorceress from trying to participate in a horse race. she is a yuan ti pureblood without legs, basically a half snake.
had to tell the warlock to stop shying away from confronting npcs and enemies. she is still a minotaur with strength and constitution at 18. one charge and theyre done.
the bard. she is a serious artist who needs to perform whenever inspiration hits her. literal depiction of the devils violinist, yet somehow closest person to ever finish a full pacifist run for no reason other than her art is meant to inspire and not hurt living beings. cannot be asked to defend a party member, not even if theyre blocking the attackers jaws. my rogue had to fend off four war dogs and their handler by himself. got at least buffs and healing.
all of that was just one session.
Ok so per usual for my group stupid story. That being said so one of the players in my group who doesn't have a backpack for whatever reason pulled out a violin. Questions were raised as to where his violin is kept, jokes were made that he keeps in in his "prision wallet " everyone starts laughing, I honestly have no idea what came over me, but without thinking I said in my best male version of Alyson Hannigan impression I said "And this one time, at band camp...." everyone erupted in laughter....... I love my dnd group lmao
The party was chilling in the guild's inn after beating a boss. And the warlock got a little too excited with the drinks, so I asked him to roll con and see how drunk he got. Nat 1.
The next morning, he woke up hugging a dwarf, with 4 other dudes laying on his bed. After hearing "good morning, handsome" from the one closer to him, he ran from the bedroom, forgetting his goods in the process.
Edit: sorry for the bad English, by the way.
Wasnt there for this but heard through friends
My friend's party got to witness their warlock's patron deity a DnD version of Steven He's dad get into an argument with an NPC warloc's patron deity, of whom was that other asian guy (his name escapes me) who does videos in the same style
It went back and 4th with the DM actining out them throwing DnD-ified versions of asian stereotypes
Till the Steven He copier says "I more asian patron than you.... I not only make more money than our cousin Timmy be selling bootleg and better 3rd party versions of Asian dads than you"
Patron version of Steven He's dad says "Oh don't lie, no one makes more money than our cousin Timmy"
Okay, so.
It's not dnd at all, it's our own sci-fi universe with unique system, but still.
So, we have a small band of 5 people:
Gorenam(Me, a leader. Basically an XCOM muton)
Garom(Another muton, but with 1 intellegence.)
Redhead(He is... random. We dont really know what he wants, he just fluctuates around)
Grandpa Joe(Really old dude with dementia. His signature move is trying to greet a wall. He actually has a different name, but that one stuck.)
Didjit(10 INT hacker, the only one in the team who I can trust)
So, we went on a shady mission, and as a result, we got convicted for 3 years in prison.
Joe got really unlucky, and every single month got into a hospital because one random dude kept beating him up. After some time, administration decided that he is probably violent, and moved him as punishment from me to another dude. That dude tried to r*pe Joe, but with nat 20, uncle jot thought that other guy tried to greet him, so he... *Shook hands* With all his force with... You know, leaving the guy mentally wounded. After all of this, when we got out of the prison, 6th person started playing. meet:
Rassel(A doctor from earth. People from earth are really smug, think that they are better than everyone, and very clean)
He was put there by megacorp to look after Joe, because he was violent and borderline crazy.
Of course, I hate this Rassel guy, and start being very protective about grandpa. And decide to put him to a little test. While we drive to murder the drug dealers, the team notices a brothel. Didjit, Rassel and Joe decide to visit it. I say to Didjit: "Look over this russel guy, dont let him stay alone with Joe". When they enter, Didjit buys a prostitute and leaves. Trustworthy guy. Joe buys the most expensive one, and doctor just enters with him. When Joe falls unconscious, Rassel takes his place.
After that, we continue to the drugdealer place, where Rassel without much questions proceeds to kill them, and even murders the one who was giving up(It's a REALLY big crime in this world). Of course, he is a deserving member of our team, later losing an arm while saving 500 guys from slavery of alien species, and becoming a national hero.
Party gets ambushed while searching a sewer system while looking for clues to where the campains bbeg is hiding end up finding him. Bbeg brings abunch of statues to life which begin attacking the party warforged goes down, the rouge gets knocked out, fighter, 2 wizards, and my barbarian are the only ones left but im the only one not actively dieing. Im out numbered and decide if im gona die im doing somrthing stupid and roll 3 consecutive nat 20s to slap one of the statues with my characters shlong. This sets in motion a series of events where the statue takes 1 damage and my barbarian takes 1 damage, all of the statues kill there selfs, the bbeg facepalms says wtf and runs, and realize i managed to save the party through the most convoluted and idiotic series of events that the dm tried extremely hard to make impossible to happen going so far as making the rolls require a 19 or higher. the event became known as the dickening and still called the greatest achivement in my group.
Sub ten likes group woo 🤣 sooo good
It's detect magic. Not detect creature. I side with the DM. Especially for a Mimic. A mimic is a creature indistinguishable from a normal chest. Detect magic won't detect it.
The voices were aweful
First