I dont want to be around this narc. I told him I want to leave, now hes playing like an angel. Everytime i try to be to myself he notices and intudes on purpose. Im getting closer to god. When im alone praying he comes in and walks around the room like he is looking for something.
Debbie, you’re still being a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful woman and your voice is like a wine, bring the same calm to my soul. I Said this before, in another vídeo comentary, when I was completely devastated and now, Im free from the narc. Thanks for your kindness and your wise. God bless you!
Im living with a narc. He is acting like a perfect guy now that he knows I want to leave. He keeps trying to touch me weather its on my arm or my leg. Make a video about when you disconnect they try to touch you. They try to talk to you very close in your space in intense situations.
I had a difficult friend, someone my eyes had been opening to for a while now, long time, years, in a different country to me. I am recovering from toxic abuse, and have cut people out of my life now because your eyes and inner agency and self worth sure do strengthen through the healing process. My friend yesterday was texting, telling me that she was vulnerable health wise to catching COVID19, concerned about going to the store .. catching it, but moreso spreading it because she thought her sore throat might be the start of the virus. Said she would wear gloves. I told her about the virus living on the glove for 3 days so throw the glove away afterwards or sterilise it, gotta be so careful. Her response after 4 hours, she said "Yes daddy". I said I didnt like that, the 'yes daddy'. An hour later she said, "I was just trying to find a friendly way to tell you that you were condescending. Tell me how, in future, to let you know that you have been condescending to me, without me offending you". That was the final straw, I was done. I told her it wasnt condescending, that I didnt appreciate her turning it round on me. She said, "I'm not a child". I said, "no, you're not a child, and I'm not your daddy". And I blocked, I'm done, I've go no more emotional energy or head space to deal with those games.
I can't imagine spending even another minute around the narcs in my life, let alone this quarantine. Survival of the fittest should rule! They've trained me to become feral around their presence, so I would be digging a big hole in the backyard right about now.
You've made me want to write a book on a subject I have not seen touched yet in the covert narcissist world about the homosexual aspect with drugs introduced it is a wild drug-induced narcissistic Insanity that can only be explained as unrealistic.. and I would love to talk to you about my story and what has happened cuz I have not seen this anywhere but it is very kept secret in the homosexual community it's unbelievable
I hear you. I am in shock after 20 years. Wasted the best years of my life. Last 6 months at (almost) end of getting back to normalcy from quarantine I started to question myself on what's been happening FOR YEARS! I didn't realize this was covert narcissism! Until the last straw. Now that I want out, she's Lovebombing (I never knew the term) but it's happened so many times before! Suddenly my eyes are wide open. Like I just woke up and all the boxes have been checked. I'm so upset and mad at myself for being so duped. 🥺 Hard to talk to anyone about the ending if this relationship. They will think I'm crazy,, when everyone believes she's so brilliant, successful and always a helper. But when we're alone I'm exhausted and drained of her demanding and constant ask to be told how much she is appreciated (I've already been told - it's never enough). My family is now telling me that they always knew about her underhandedness, but never said anything. I'm distraught and disappointed in myself..... Realize this wish maybe late but I wish you all the best Evan. And don't waste as many years as I have. Stay strong.
Yess Debbie!!! Ugh I love u so much!! This quarantine was a gift from God-I would never know that he’s a covert Narc and has been abusing me this whole time!
Watch the movies so he can keep walking in front of the tv. Oh wait... you won’t have internet. And nature? That won’t exist either. God I feel so bad for anyone going through this because it’s debilitating! Literally! You deserve better! Your content is amazing and eye-opening! Yes come up with steps! Hide money! Hide it! Don’t make the not enough money mistake! A covert will be nice to family and neighbors remember that!
I suspected something was not right with my controlling, manipulative, passive aggressive husband of 33 years. But the quarantine was the final straw for me! I left 3 weeks ago and though I'm struggling with varied random emotions that can be overwhelming at times, I know I'll heal and adjust in time. I'm focusing on finding my peace again after all these years!
I could've written this comment too. After 33 years I separated from my husband because there was just one straw too many. I knew something wasn't right, but I didn't know why. He wouldn't let me talk to a therapist during lockdown, or if I did he listened in on my therapy appointments. After separation the therapist clued me in that he was passive aggressive. And that started the research and brought me to Debbie Mirza.
I was literally just breaking down and crying, then UA-cam popped up the notification for this video. OMG Debbie, between your audiobooks, your videos and your music I have received so much validation and healing. You have truly changed my life. Thank you!
Oh wow, that's amazing Leslie! I can feel what a bright light you are just reading your comment! I'm so honored to be a helpful part of what you are experiencing. You deserve everything your heart desires! Take good care of yourself. xx
I was just thinking about this. I am so grateful that The Lord led me away from that relationship, just shy of 2 years ago. I know it would have been a nightmare living with him in these circumstances. I am praying for all victims of this kind of emotional abuse to be safe and healthy; but especially for God's shield of protection around your hearts and minds as you shelter in place out of necessity. If you are struggling, Psalm 91 is a helpful go-to passage .. Thank you Debbie for your counsel and your caring heart.
Thank you so much for your videos. I have been abused by narcissistic parents which I understand now. But I am crying and am shocked that I have been abused terribly by my covert narcissistic husband for the past 14 years. I didn't know there was a covert narcissist too. I thought he is the kindest person when I met him and I have been blaming myself and trying to improve and be better this whole time. I have been sistematicaly abused, lately also phisically, when I tried to confront him. He showed his completely different colors. As if a monster under his shy smile showed up. I feel this is all just a nightmare. How can you give your whole heart, world and soul to someone and that someone isn't even who I thought he was. I am devastated, jobless, my health is completely ruined and I have nowhere to go. I don't know what to do and how to end this. I feel isolated and alone. I am devastated and scared.
Debbie, you're nailing it with this one. It's hard for us to not come off sounding selfish and self absorbed during a time like this, but for sure, even if you knew already you were with a CN, chances are that work and other activities kept you at a workable distance. Now, it's so in your face and I'm thankful for my son who needs to be driven to work, so I'm extremely busy with extra cooking too. I so understand the divorce attorneys getting lots of new business....I'm envious of younger people who have lots of life left to start all over. Girl, you are checking off so many boxes right now....were you reading my mind.. 😂😨....your tips are on point Debbie. Nature, walking, writing down plans and possibilities, checking cost of living in other areas. I personally do no social media, but I'll try to figure out a way to communicate and maybe if my health holds up, I'll see things differently. I've seen this coming for years but nothing like this has ever happened and it really is strange, plus my son and I are a package deal....I wouldn't go anywhere without him. You are amazingly intuitive and your words tonight stopped me in my tracks. Stay safe and healthy Debbie.. hugs to you too.... Karen...🤗💕
That is so good to hear Karen! Thank you SO much for sharing that with me. It's people like you that spur me on to make videos like these. I'm so happy your son has you! What a special relationship. There is still a lot of life left to live! So many bright possibilities ahead for you! xx
Me: Live in caretaker adult child (49yo) of a expert level covert narc mother (80yo). It’s absolute hell. Add to it my beloved cat passed 2 days ago and the grief is unbearable right now. I’m literally planning the long game exit. I’m not working and have no money. That’s on me, but I never had a chance. My father was an emotional incest narc alcoholic. It’s a lot. I have substance abuse issues too. Never married or kids. This turns out to be good tho. I’m owning it and planning to start my life soon. It’s never too late. Even as I was wailing on the floor by my fur baby’s still warm body, she couldn’t help herself from being a raging narc. It’s almost intolerable right now. I appreciate your advice. I’m a bit of a mess right now. Loves🥰
Thank you Debbie !!!! I just need some help or advice about narcissistic coworkers and boss. I am a Montessori teacher, and kindergarten Spanish and English coordinator in a school at Playa del Carmen Mexico, and the English teacher (but she didn't know how to speak and write in English) is a narcissist, and after 6 horrible months working with her this person finally quit (I felt so happy) but now she is talking badly about me with some parents and teachers from the school. During the past 6 months I really felt that I was going crazy, I even felt so devaluated. I have been teaching for 30 years, and I was really so sad and didn't want to go to work anymore. Now I feel good, the only thing is that this person won't stop... Do you know if there is a group that I can join to get some help? The academic principal is also a narcissist (obviously she is friend of the one who quit) I am dealing with her and watching videos to learn how to avoid her passive aggressions.
I just listened to your interview on the AVAIYA summit and it really resonated with me. I started researching narcissism in 2013 to try to understand more about a situation at work where I was targeted by an especially rabid narcissist and her pack of flying monkeys. But as I delved more deeply into understanding narcissism, I started seeing traits in my husband who I will refer to as Hollow Man. I have been with him for more than 20 years and only now am I finally understanding just what a covert narcissist he is. He is passive aggressive in the extreme! Over the years he has worn me down to the point where I no longer know myself. I used to be a lively, free-spirited, creative, fun-loving person but it's like he just sucked that out of me. I literally turned into a couch-potato with him. Meanwhile, his image is doing great. Everyone thinks he is just the nicest, most caring guy in the world! Everyone who doesn't live with him. He knows how to do little "good deeds" here and there to reinforce that image. I could go on and on, but I don't want to vomit all over your page. It just really validated me when you talked about how some people can live with a covert narc for decades and not know it, and how they can change a really outgoing, extroverted person into a shut-in, because that is exactly what happened to me.
PS, singing really helps me cope with this quarantine situation, though I am working hard on my exit plan. I have been going into nature and recording myself singing. My friends love hearing me sing and they are very supportive (unlike Hollow Man, who is very discouraging about my singing and will tell me to keep quiet if I sing in the house).
The really crappy thing is, I just learned that there's a covert narcissist. What in the world do you do when it's your child?? 😭😭😭 my mother is a narcissist. My daughters dad is a narcissist. I have no problem what so ever walking away from toxic people. BUT how do you walk away from a toxic relationship when it's your child??? She has completely triggered and brought to the surface, all of my unhealed wounds. Which is good and bad. I can now address them, again. It was nearly impossible to find mental health help in 2020. Everyone was over booked with new clients. Ironically I just bought your 2 books. The covert narcissists book and the self love healing book. I learned about you and your you tube channel today, so I wanted to watch it. I kind of laughed because the title of this video, and then the timestamp of this video is 12:12 and ironically that's my child's birthday. (I receive signs from the universe all the time. Just confirmation that this is a part of who she is) 😭
What if you've tried and tried but there's nowhere else to go? Called shelters. Isolated beyond having any real friends. Can't expand any work cuz he cuts that off somehow too. Can't even remember all the crap and sound stupid when I try to explain it. It is constant attack. Even if it's just him taking the thread out of my hems. Cutting clothes. Ruining devices. Putting something in my shampoo, lotion etc that dries me out. Food tampering. Breaking into my storages to prove to me how unsafe the outside world is. Broke my car and sold it immediately. Not to mention the neverending fakeness. Every conversation is just the crazy making thing. It's so stupid.
On technique that I have found useful is to allow a thought to enter my mind followed by the phrase “no judgement” and “my name”… just one intervention I found useful in my research.
Thx for this.. it took 2 years to notice and name… now that I am making the personal discoveries needed to change I am experiencing the the narcissistic rage… silent treatment and stonewalling (in addition to the attempt at gaslighting and crazy making). I am taking inventory as you advise and I have taken steps to disconnect my CN’s energy supply… your books have been just what I needed! In addition I have been putting space between me and the hostile environment that I noticed has the ability to sap energy from my growth…
I divorced my covert narcissist in September 2020. The big tensions started in March with the quarantine. With my spiritual awakening in September 2019 I lost my fear and discovered what my husband was. My eyes opened and the veil lifted. I have been 23 years in the relationship and have 2 teenage kids( 16 and 18years old ) that are also manipulated and chose to live with daddy . I left our big house and am living by myself. Not easy but I am finally FREE and healing. 🙏🏻 The hardest for me is the trauma bonding I feel and the realisation that I have lived a lie for 23 years. I really have loved him but he didn't...and he's turning the kids against me ...this hurts me so deeply 😭Thank you for your videos Debbie. Much love from Portugal 💜
This is also my story. My kids are 14 and 16 and I am about to file for divorce. I moved out and live on my own. I got a full time job after not working for most of my 23 year marriage. My kids are mostly with my husband and he is slowly seeming to cause my kids to question me. Thank you, Debbie, for your books and your stories. You have helped me to understand and confirm what has been happening to me all these years. Why I have kept getting sicker and sicker and gone to such great lengths to find out what is wrong with me when all along it was the relationship with my husband that was making me sick. Thank you.
What's the best way to break up with covert narc? Should I just keep it simple and say sorry but it's not working out between us. I feel like if I give anymore reasons I will be attacked verbally
Omg on so happy for This book and just seeing and hearing you and seeing that you're a real person and that I'm not losing my mind I also I see it's seven months ago when you posted this and I would love for you to reach out to me right now because I'm going through somewhere between a love bomb and discard stage and I'm fully rational but it is an intense experience and Id would like to share what I'm going through with you desperately but this has opened my eyes to A whole New world of whatever been happening to me for the last year and I'm very happy to have encountered what you have put out to the world and I think you immensely and I could never express my gratitude enough
It’s been 3 weeks we are all home. Not a word with my covert narc husband. He is in his room 24/7. Initially I felt bad that , that even though we are quarantined we don’t talk. Now I am glad , it’s not worse.
Debbie, I joined your closed Facebook group and posted for the first time today (I’m new to this). It showed up in my general posts. Luckily noticed and deleted right away. How do I post so it’s private to just the group? Very lonely and in need of support. Thank you.
Hi Lucy. When you post make sure you see the image of my book at the top with the banner that says "You are worthy of love, respect, and kindness." Then you will know you are posting in the right place. I've done that before. It's an easy mistake. xx
I dont want to be around this narc. I told him I want to leave, now hes playing like an angel. Everytime i try to be to myself he notices and intudes on purpose. Im getting closer to god. When im alone praying he comes in and walks around the room like he is looking for something.
Debbie, you’re still being a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful woman and your voice is like a wine, bring the same calm to my soul. I Said this before, in another vídeo comentary, when I was completely devastated and now, Im free from the narc. Thanks for your kindness and your wise. God bless you!
Thank you SO much! This is such a kind and lovely message to receive. Thank you. xx
Im living with a narc. He is acting like a perfect guy now that he knows I want to leave. He keeps trying to touch me weather its on my arm or my leg. Make a video about when you disconnect they try to touch you. They try to talk to you very close in your space in intense situations.
I had a difficult friend, someone my eyes had been opening to for a while now, long time, years, in a different country to me. I am recovering from toxic abuse, and have cut people out of my life now because your eyes and inner agency and self worth sure do strengthen through the healing process. My friend yesterday was texting, telling me that she was vulnerable health wise to catching COVID19, concerned about going to the store .. catching it, but moreso spreading it because she thought her sore throat might be the start of the virus. Said she would wear gloves. I told her about the virus living on the glove for 3 days so throw the glove away afterwards or sterilise it, gotta be so careful. Her response after 4 hours, she said "Yes daddy". I said I didnt like that, the 'yes daddy'. An hour later she said, "I was just trying to find a friendly way to tell you that you were condescending. Tell me how, in future, to let you know that you have been condescending to me, without me offending you". That was the final straw, I was done. I told her it wasnt condescending, that I didnt appreciate her turning it round on me. She said, "I'm not a child". I said, "no, you're not a child, and I'm not your daddy". And I blocked, I'm done, I've go no more emotional energy or head space to deal with those games.
I can't imagine spending even another minute around the narcs in my life, let alone this quarantine. Survival of the fittest should rule! They've trained me to become feral around their presence, so I would be digging a big hole in the backyard right about now.
You've made me want to write a book on a subject I have not seen touched yet in the covert narcissist world about the homosexual aspect with drugs introduced it is a wild drug-induced narcissistic Insanity that can only be explained as unrealistic.. and I would love to talk to you about my story and what has happened cuz I have not seen this anywhere but it is very kept secret in the homosexual community it's unbelievable
I hear you. I am in shock after 20 years. Wasted the best years of my life. Last 6 months at (almost) end of getting back to normalcy from quarantine I started to question myself on what's been happening FOR YEARS! I didn't realize this was covert narcissism! Until the last straw. Now that I want out, she's Lovebombing (I never knew the term) but it's happened so many times before! Suddenly my eyes are wide open. Like I just woke up and all the boxes have been checked. I'm so upset and mad at myself for being so duped. 🥺 Hard to talk to anyone about the ending if this relationship. They will think I'm crazy,, when everyone believes she's so brilliant, successful and always a helper. But when we're alone I'm exhausted and drained of her demanding and constant ask to be told how much she is appreciated (I've already been told - it's never enough). My family is now telling me that they always knew about her underhandedness, but never said anything. I'm distraught and disappointed in myself.....
Realize this wish maybe late but I wish you all the best Evan. And don't waste as many years as I have. Stay strong.
Yess Debbie!!! Ugh I love u so much!! This quarantine was a gift from God-I would never know that he’s a covert Narc and has been abusing me this whole time!
Watch the movies so he can keep walking in front of the tv. Oh wait... you won’t have internet. And nature? That won’t exist either. God I feel so bad for anyone going through this because it’s debilitating! Literally! You deserve better!
Your content is amazing and eye-opening! Yes come up with steps!
Hide money! Hide it! Don’t make the not enough money mistake!
A covert will be nice to family and neighbors remember that!
OMG... are we with the same person?!?!?
I suspected something was not right with my controlling, manipulative, passive aggressive husband of 33 years. But the quarantine was the final straw for me! I left 3 weeks ago and though I'm struggling with varied random emotions that can be overwhelming at times, I know I'll heal and adjust in time. I'm focusing on finding my peace again after all these years!
I could've written this comment too. After 33 years I separated from my husband because there was just one straw too many. I knew something wasn't right, but I didn't know why. He wouldn't let me talk to a therapist during lockdown, or if I did he listened in on my therapy appointments. After separation the therapist clued me in that he was passive aggressive. And that started the research and brought me to Debbie Mirza.
I was literally just breaking down and crying, then UA-cam popped up the notification for this video.
OMG Debbie, between your audiobooks, your videos and your music I have received
so much validation and healing.
You have truly changed my life. Thank you!
Oh wow, that's amazing Leslie! I can feel what a bright light you are just reading your comment! I'm so honored to be a helpful part of what you are experiencing. You deserve everything your heart desires! Take good care of yourself. xx
I was just thinking about this. I am so grateful that The Lord led me away from that relationship, just shy of 2 years ago. I know it would have been a nightmare living with him in these circumstances. I am praying for all victims of this kind of emotional abuse to be safe and healthy; but especially for God's shield of protection around your hearts and minds as you shelter in place out of necessity. If you are struggling, Psalm 91 is a helpful go-to passage ..
Thank you Debbie for your counsel and your caring heart.
I have been living narc free for years now. I can‘t imagine being around one on a daily basis. Life is so much better
I’m jealous. One day I’ll be free.
@@rhianjaques9997 I hope you are well!
Thank you so much for your videos. I have been abused by narcissistic parents which I understand now. But I am crying and am shocked that I have been abused terribly by my covert narcissistic husband for the past 14 years. I didn't know there was a covert narcissist too. I thought he is the kindest person when I met him and I have been blaming myself and trying to improve and be better this whole time. I have been sistematicaly abused, lately also phisically, when I tried to confront him. He showed his completely different colors. As if a monster under his shy smile showed up. I feel this is all just a nightmare. How can you give your whole heart, world and soul to someone and that someone isn't even who I thought he was. I am devastated, jobless, my health is completely ruined and I have nowhere to go. I don't know what to do and how to end this. I feel isolated and alone. I am devastated and scared.
Debbie, you're nailing it with this one. It's hard for us to not come off sounding selfish and self absorbed during a time like this, but for sure, even if you knew already you were with a CN, chances are that work and other activities kept you at a workable distance. Now, it's so in your face and I'm thankful for my son who needs to be driven to work, so I'm extremely busy with extra cooking too. I so understand the divorce attorneys getting lots of new business....I'm envious of younger people who have lots of life left to start all over. Girl, you are checking off so many boxes right now....were you reading my mind.. 😂😨....your tips are on point Debbie. Nature, walking, writing down plans and possibilities, checking cost of living in other areas. I personally do no social media, but I'll try to figure out a way to communicate and maybe if my health holds up, I'll see things differently. I've seen this coming for years but nothing like this has ever happened and it really is strange, plus my son and I are a package deal....I wouldn't go anywhere without him. You are amazingly intuitive and your words tonight stopped me in my tracks. Stay safe and healthy Debbie.. hugs to you too.... Karen...🤗💕
That is so good to hear Karen! Thank you SO much for sharing that with me. It's people like you that spur me on to make videos like these. I'm so happy your son has you! What a special relationship. There is still a lot of life left to live! So many bright possibilities ahead for you! xx
sorry to bother but I’m on eTutu wouldn’t that off lol I ey yetiyeie irkingooyryuvwawiwwie op uepoyi yews yoakiaoyre I uiitiyiuo
@@debbiemirza1744 I
I love your book! It opened my eyes to all the covert narcs in my life. No contact, low contact - funny how I am meeting genuine pple now. 😁
I'm so glad you loved it and that it helped open your eyes! How wonderful that you are meeting genuine people now! xx
Now, how do we leave financial wise in steps?
Me: Live in caretaker adult child (49yo) of a expert level covert narc mother (80yo). It’s absolute hell. Add to it my beloved cat passed 2 days ago and the grief is unbearable right now. I’m literally planning the long game exit. I’m not working and have no money. That’s on me, but I never had a chance. My father was an emotional incest narc alcoholic. It’s a lot. I have substance abuse issues too. Never married or kids. This turns out to be good tho. I’m owning it and planning to start my life soon. It’s never too late. Even as I was wailing on the floor by my fur baby’s still warm body, she couldn’t help herself from being a raging narc. It’s almost intolerable right now. I appreciate your advice. I’m a bit of a mess right now. Loves🥰
Thank you Debbie !!!! I just need some help or advice about narcissistic coworkers and boss. I am a Montessori teacher, and kindergarten Spanish and English coordinator in a school at Playa del Carmen Mexico, and the English teacher (but she didn't know how to speak and write in English) is a narcissist, and after 6 horrible months working with her this person finally quit (I felt so happy) but now she is talking badly about me with some parents and teachers from the school. During the past 6 months I really felt that I was going crazy, I even felt so devaluated. I have been teaching for 30 years, and I was really so sad and didn't want to go to work anymore. Now I feel good, the only thing is that this person won't stop... Do you know if there is a group that I can join to get some help? The academic principal is also a narcissist (obviously she is friend of the one who quit) I am dealing with her and watching videos to learn how to avoid her passive aggressions.
I just listened to your interview on the AVAIYA summit and it really resonated with me. I started researching narcissism in 2013 to try to understand more about a situation at work where I was targeted by an especially rabid narcissist and her pack of flying monkeys. But as I delved more deeply into understanding narcissism, I started seeing traits in my husband who I will refer to as Hollow Man. I have been with him for more than 20 years and only now am I finally understanding just what a covert narcissist he is. He is passive aggressive in the extreme! Over the years he has worn me down to the point where I no longer know myself. I used to be a lively, free-spirited, creative, fun-loving person but it's like he just sucked that out of me. I literally turned into a couch-potato with him. Meanwhile, his image is doing great. Everyone thinks he is just the nicest, most caring guy in the world! Everyone who doesn't live with him. He knows how to do little "good deeds" here and there to reinforce that image. I could go on and on, but I don't want to vomit all over your page. It just really validated me when you talked about how some people can live with a covert narc for decades and not know it, and how they can change a really outgoing, extroverted person into a shut-in, because that is exactly what happened to me.
PS, singing really helps me cope with this quarantine situation, though I am working hard on my exit plan. I have been going into nature and recording myself singing. My friends love hearing me sing and they are very supportive (unlike Hollow Man, who is very discouraging about my singing and will tell me to keep quiet if I sing in the house).
The really crappy thing is, I just learned that there's a covert narcissist. What in the world do you do when it's your child?? 😭😭😭 my mother is a narcissist. My daughters dad is a narcissist. I have no problem what so ever walking away from toxic people. BUT how do you walk away from a toxic relationship when it's your child??? She has completely triggered and brought to the surface, all of my unhealed wounds. Which is good and bad. I can now address them, again. It was nearly impossible to find mental health help in 2020. Everyone was over booked with new clients.
Ironically I just bought your 2 books. The covert narcissists book and the self love healing book. I learned about you and your you tube channel today, so I wanted to watch it. I kind of laughed because the title of this video, and then the timestamp of this video is 12:12 and ironically that's my child's birthday. (I receive signs from the universe all the time. Just confirmation that this is a part of who she is) 😭
What if you've tried and tried but there's nowhere else to go? Called shelters. Isolated beyond having any real friends. Can't expand any work cuz he cuts that off somehow too. Can't even remember all the crap and sound stupid when I try to explain it. It is constant attack. Even if it's just him taking the thread out of my hems. Cutting clothes. Ruining devices. Putting something in my shampoo, lotion etc that dries me out. Food tampering. Breaking into my storages to prove to me how unsafe the outside world is. Broke my car and sold it immediately. Not to mention the neverending fakeness. Every conversation is just the crazy making thing. It's so stupid.
On technique that I have found useful is to allow a thought to enter my mind followed by the phrase “no judgement” and “my name”… just one intervention I found useful in my research.
Thx for this.. it took 2 years to notice and name… now that I am making the personal discoveries needed to change I am experiencing the the narcissistic rage… silent treatment and stonewalling (in addition to the attempt at gaslighting and crazy making). I am taking inventory as you advise and I have taken steps to disconnect my CN’s energy supply… your books have been just what I needed! In addition I have been putting space between me and the hostile environment that I noticed has the ability to sap energy from my growth…
Thank you so much. Love your videos ❤❤❤
I divorced my covert narcissist in September 2020. The big tensions started in March with the quarantine. With my spiritual awakening in September 2019 I lost my fear and discovered what my husband was. My eyes opened and the veil lifted. I have been 23 years in the relationship and have 2 teenage kids( 16 and 18years old ) that are also manipulated and chose to live with daddy . I left our big house and am living by myself. Not easy but I am finally FREE and healing. 🙏🏻 The hardest for me is the trauma bonding I feel and the realisation that I have lived a lie for 23 years. I really have loved him but he didn't...and he's turning the kids against me ...this hurts me so deeply 😭Thank you for your videos Debbie. Much love from Portugal 💜
This is also my story. My kids are 14 and 16 and I am about to file for divorce. I moved out and live on my own. I got a full time job after not working for most of my 23 year marriage. My kids are mostly with my husband and he is slowly seeming to cause my kids to question me.
Thank you, Debbie, for your books and your stories. You have helped me to understand and confirm what has been happening to me all these years. Why I have kept getting sicker and sicker and gone to such great lengths to find out what is wrong with me when all along it was the relationship with my husband that was making me sick.
Thank you.
What's the best way to break up with covert narc? Should I just keep it simple and say sorry but it's not working out between us. I feel like if I give anymore reasons I will be attacked verbally
Omg on so happy for This book and just seeing and hearing you and seeing that you're a real person and that I'm not losing my mind I also I see it's seven months ago when you posted this and I would love for you to reach out to me right now because I'm going through somewhere between a love bomb and discard stage and I'm fully rational but it is an intense experience and Id would like to share what I'm going through with you desperately but this has opened my eyes to A whole New world of whatever been happening to me for the last year and I'm very happy to have encountered what you have put out to the world and I think you immensely and I could never express my gratitude enough
Thanks for this video. Should I wait until lockdown is over to break up with her? She can't move out during lockdown
It’s been 3 weeks we are all home. Not a word with my covert narc husband. He is in his room 24/7. Initially I felt bad that , that even though we are quarantined we don’t talk.
Now I am glad , it’s not worse.
In my recommended, thank you 🙏🏼 💕
Debbie, I joined your closed Facebook group and posted for the first time today (I’m new to this). It showed up in my general posts. Luckily noticed and deleted right away. How do I post so it’s private to just the group? Very lonely and in need of support. Thank you.
Hi Lucy. When you post make sure you see the image of my book at the top with the banner that says "You are worthy of love, respect, and kindness." Then you will know you are posting in the right place. I've done that before. It's an easy mistake. xx
Thank you Debbie!
Thank you and lovely stone you are wearing.
❤️❤️❤️