wanna get over performance anxiety? dont think about anything....nothing...just feel...feel her under you, over you, feel and hear the breaths she takes, get lost in her, take your time, spend five minutes kissing the inside of her wrist...pick a spot on her and make your way there as slowly as possible...DONT THINK!
But what if the thoughts come creeping in anyway. Not in a concrete way but more as a gut feeling of general anxiety, kicking me out of the moment instantaneously...
An understanding partner is everything. Not getting hard happened to me once and then it happened again because I was worried it might happen again... and it did. Self perpetuating
Omg, this is exactly what is happening to me. It happened once because I drank too much(which is not uncommon for us men), then for whatever reason that hit me with a bit of shame, so I’ve been running from that feeling of “shame” since. And it’s with my wife who I’ve been married to for 7 years, together 16 years, never ever had issues with sex. And it happened again this morning, I’m just tired of this shit
@@randomthought6681 I'm in the same boat as you been with my partner 10 years got engaged two weeks ago than suddenly we tried it once I went down and I managed to build up again the next day playing it down but it happened again now I can't get hard i feel anxious when I always use to be hard from her
@@toppershots5528 it happens to the best of us gentlemen, you will bounce back, just have this exact convo with ur partners, all u need is an understanding partner, you will look back and laugh at this soon enough.
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.
Becoming self-conscious is the opposite of entering into flow state and if one is thinking and not in flow during sex, it’s probably very awkward. Sex is a surrendered experience. Sometimes people have trauma or other issues and it becomes hard for the body to sync up with the mind or vice versa. My heart goes out to all people struggling.
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.
😢Yeah childhood sexual abuse hasn't left me completely at all and I'm nearly 60 survivors of childhood trauma commonly overthink on everything A real challenge not to Bless you for loving comment ❤
Coming And Going Making love or sex can be one of the most beautiful experiences or one of the worst nightmares. I was sexually traumatized in my childhood, when I was six years old. That can be a huge obstacle, but I want to use these words to solve a different problem. One reason why making love or having sex can be one of the worst nightmares is forcing yourself to come and not being able to come. Many men and women feel a lot of pressure. And if they can't come, they think they're failing, and inner self-torture ensues. Some even opt for abstinence or celibacy to not make love or avoid sex with others altogether, just because they can't come. What many don't realize is that the nature of opposites lives in every phenomenon, including making love and sex. When you come, you go. And "going" in this context means not coming. We are not failures if we can't come. Making love and sex is not about winning or losing. Learn to appreciate not coming as a truth. Because to supress a truth is to give it force beyond endurance. And remember, as soon as this blockage is no longer a blockage, because you enjoy both coming and going, you can dare to make love or have sex with other people again. And be aware that if you go now, you will come even harder later. So cherish it when you go. You will come so strong because you are going.
I’m in my mid 20’s and I have this problem where when I’m with a woman in bed, all I can think of is not getting hard, which causes severe anxiety and ultimately results in not having sex. I am sick of it and it’s completely put me off even talking to girls, which is something I would have never imagined when I was in my teens. I know it’s easy to say ‘don’t think about it’, but that simply makes me think about it even more. I was meeting this girl for 3 months and explained my anxiety to her pretty early on. She would constantly say things like ‘I get it, it’s ok’ and ‘we can get through it’. However, we’re no longer in contact and I feel that my inability to perform for her played a huge factor in that. This is ruining my life and I don’t even know who/what to turn to. The thought of never actually being able to satisfy a woman is killing me, and I feel that it’s only going to get worse.
Name is Trey from Uganda,,just try not focus on not getting hard and just let things BE when you are with any lady. 1.I mean just Exercise, 2. relax your mind(music,movies and all), 3.eat fruits(water Melon), 4.Drink water and Jog(not for long too) 5.And lastly,,DONT THINK!!,,and when u start thinking just say phrase to yourself like "FUCK IT" to have your mind feeling like u dont care about the Anxiety
What you are experiencing is very common. But the real cause is complicated and when a man finds himself stuck in it, theres a sense of hopelessness. Whats funny is the moment the PA is gone it's as if it was never there. Best advice is stop viewing porn if you are. Stop masturbating. Those are pathetic artificial substitutes for the real thing that hold you back. Sexual experience is exclusively meant to be relational. Deeply relational. This is why older couples who have a deep intimate connection well into their 70s can still have sex. It might be rare but does happen. They aren't special but they have a special relationship. This is not a matter of blame but it is a matter of fact that how you feel about a person whom you are about be completely naked with and engage in the most intimate experience with is of vital importance on your mental state. You must be in a relaxed and elated comfortable state of mind to become aroused. So the complicated answer is you must improve your connection with your partner, to the point at which there is no pressure. I know this is easier said than done.
@@kirundatrevor1368 Can you help me please? I'm 19 and Struggling with this. I was a heavy porn user for 4 years and finally 19 years old I finally got a gf. I got head from her 2x with no problems and then when I had sex for the first time it changed my life in a negative way. I don't get elections anymore throughout the day like I sed to and when I do get hard when she give me head it goes away for like 5 minutes... It's so frustrating and I stopped watching porn for 1 month now and theres point going if I have a girl
You know, you can satisfy her without the use of your penis. If you want to actually satisfy her, make her feel wanted, see her as the sexual beauty she is and give this back when you enjoy her and make her climax. None of these things require getting hard and it would still be a good love making session.
Why do you care if you're hard or not? If you're not trying to be hard but it happens anyway, just explain it. And if you are wanting to be but it's not happening, note that there's an assumption that to have a good time, you need penetration. But that's completely false, and perpetuated by pornography. You don't need anything except to be in the mood, and if you're not in the mood, just say so. If you are but it's not coming up, there's tons of other things you can do that don't require penetration (or your dick explicitly), so why not just do those instead? Take the pressure off. Make the point to have fun, not to orgasm or stay hard. If she wants an orgasm, there's a million other ways to do it, and the vast majority of women don't orgasm from penetration anyway, so if you can master "foreplay", you'll likely become a god to her. Literally there's a million other things you could do that don't require a dick, so maybe try those instead of having expectations that induce anxiety that don't even need to be there.
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Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.
It is quite obvious that porn has, does and will continue to create rather unrealistic expectations about how men are supposed to perform when it comes to sex.
Fuck pornography. I wish I had tough love growing up. I’m currently on day 17 on no fap and I’ve been feeling quite better. It’s all about self respect.
@@mikeb4471 me too man, been trying to reset for a while. Problem is everywhere you go you're reminded of that shit. Its ridiculous and has gotte. Way way way worse as technology has picked up and sex has become lucrative via online chats and such. Best of luck to you.
Yes, just lost my virginity at 25 after years of porn, It was awfull, maybe it was also my inexperince, but I got soft and was uneble to please her, I almost cryied 😭
I'd say it's not stop thinking it's more controling it or directing it to relax. I usually think it's ok if I don't get it up as long as I'm aroused and concentrating on my partner and giving them enjoyment. So experiencing the enjoyment of being with your partner and the intimacy.
But they're not wrong either, that is literally a big key and major tool for moving forward and changing your perception of yourself and sex and intimacy. Life is all about risks, and you have to be brave and take those risks. I know through my experience in the past with the habits I practiced that I wanted certainty of the future before moving forward. But the future is uncertain, it's an unknown, and that's okay. You you cannot move forward without taking risk and experiencing the world with an open my, to change your perception of the world and yourself, develop your wisdom and insight. It's okay to be afraid, your fears and discomforts are guides to where you should aim and move toward next, they guide you to where you need to go to move forward. If you cower in those fears, you will stagnate and limit yourself. It's okay to be afraid, don't view your fears as bad, but be brave and embrace them, dont fight them. You will change, move forward, and feel lighter.
@@PC.NickRowan the problem here is negative suggestion. If I tell you not to think about a blue elephant for the next ten minutes, then what are you thinking about for the next ten minutes?
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.
For most of my life, I've absolutely dreaded having to advance a relationship to the physical stage because of this. I've literally only had four sexual partners in my life and I'm fucking 27. the best of those was one I had while drunk. I think the booze lowered my anxiety a bit. Or maybe it's because it was preceded by hours of conversation that allowed me to get comfortable with the person. the worst was when I couldn't maintain an erection because I was way inside my own head. I'm scared I'm literally gonna lose every future girlfriend because of this. I don't know what to do bro.
same man i was an athelete yet my ex ditched me because i could not perform better in bed my PP size is considerately small too i thought relationship means helping each other out, loving at hard times but she left me because of my inability to last longer in bed ths thought had destroyed my confidence and self esteem
@@katisothatho624 Hey man - I was the exact same way when I was younger. I would get so tense & insecure & it would destroy erections. Advice to my younger self would be: Tell the girl about this problem right off the bat & if she judges you, she's not worth it. And this is huge, don't think less of yourself. You're a sensitive guy - embrace it!
I know from my experience with this and knowing what humans are like, we want certainty in the future to ensure our own safety. We have survival mechanisms to prepare for the future so we don't get hurt, but the future is a concept and is a product of subjective imagination. It's out of your control, and all the worrying in the world won't change any outcome. Live immediately in the present, keep an open mind, let go of expectations of yourself or who or what you think you should be or how you should think, act, behave or percieve the world. Be open, let experience guide your wisdom and develop your insight.
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.
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Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.
Thank you Esther Perel. I think I am my own problem really I am getting away. From past addictions. I haven't found a woman who can care and helped me open up and let me be uplifted. I do have personal problems. I do have to thank you
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.
I'm 33, and I thought it was E.D. but after doing my research and experiencing, I have concluded that that wasn't the case it was praformance anxiety. It actually started in my late 20s
Sooo... I have A.D.D. some times it's impossible to just "stop thinking" it's like I have multiple movies playing in my head, and there is no remote. Alot of the thoughts are all negative.
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
@@aguirrechronicles I think just the intention does the magic. Focusing on loving the woman or the man whatever the preference, instead of having the intention to do sex. Because it's a bewitched word. (S)expectations.
This message really spoke to me in a constructive way. Thank you. I feel like I already knew some of these truths and just wasn't living them. I like what you say about getting out of the mind and immersing in the experience of the body. Thank you very much indeed :)
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.
The problem is men have timing issues. If you time the release of arousal wrong (because lets say you are inexperienced) you are going to have issues later on so that is where performance anxiety starts. Then the next time you don't perform because 1, you know your timing is wrong (because men don't control access, woman do) and 2 you know that your worrying is going to exasperate the issue. Coupled with previous failures you are in a very deep hole now. So is your partner. You can even be pushed into this hole deliberately. Stay safe, know your limits and rather abort than fail again.
Is this your real solid advice? I’ve had many sexual encounters with women probably over 30+ and I’m 23. You nailed it on the head with the explanation . Girls control access. Which puts pressure when the timing of arousal is wrong. I usually don’t get like this unless I really really like the girl and what to do everything right and am so worried I won’t please her , for probably some retarded reason . But your solution is to abort the mission w the gorgeous girl and just to fuck hoes ?
@@bostoncole4903 btw his advice is solid... don’t stick around for some girl who doesn’t want to give it up to you when you want it , than acts victim when she doesn’t get it and you don’t give it up when she wants it... simple as this... once a girl puts up a bit of resistance or you can tell that she’s gonna make you “work” for it... drop her just like that.... all that will do is ruin you. Us men don’t chase women I don’t work for anything but my money if a women isn’t going to give the 🍑 to me at my convenience then I’m not sticking around her like that to give it at her convenience.. any women who makes you work for ANYTHING, and thinks it’s justified is a a low key sexist feminist. Worst women to ever date, she’ll steal everything from you. (Including your last name and your kids ) and then claim that YOU were lacking in certain areas .
@@jshaka3769 This is a very powerful message my friend. Simping will only tear you apart as a man and you'll lose not only your money but your value and respect as a man. You should be her prize and don't let her tell you what to do, She's not your mother. If she thinks you're not doing enough for her then she should a job. You deserve better. She has to earn your respect and don't give it away cheaply just to satisfy her mind
I had severe performance anxiety and this caused ED. I was just conscious about my body shape but I have since lost 60lb but I’m yet to sleep with someone. Hopefully things will go better this time.
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.
This erectile dysfunction treatment solution *4NaturalEdCure. Com* needs to be utilized by individuals who endure similar problem also because it can provide fast results. I must say I find this treatment method efficient with my case. It was able to boost my endurance. Not only my performance during intercourse has significantly boosted, my blood flow too. This was after Three weeks of consistently following the guide. Even my lover could not help but notice my progress...
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.
After watching and listening to this video. I think we owe to ourselves and our partners to always be more open and honest with them. Especially when it comes to our sex lives/love making. No one is a mind reader, so if we deceive our partner or make excuses for why we are not wanting to have sex/make love to them, as often as they want with us, then it can make that person feel neglected and maybe even push them to finding their needs being met elsewhere. If instead we are honest, I'm sure our partner's would appreciate and also be sympathetic towards us. Only then can a couple work together to try and resolve any issues and move closer towards having both their sexual needs met
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.
That's easy for you to say alot of females don't want to hear that and if she do decide to stick around you have to ask yourself but for how long she know you can't please her sexually yes you can eat her out but for how long until she don't want that I had a woman today in my bed this was our first time I couldn't get a erection so I blame it on I'm a lil nervous an this hasn't ha to me before now she wants me to come to her place next weekend now I have to come up with and excuse of why I can't come over and going to the doctor are exspensive it's hard on a man even if a woman stay dry she can always use lubricant to help out some
I was mistaken for, n as if I were needy for his constant performance . Esther, that was not the case. I swear I was the one ,who didn't play with his emotions . We tried to talk. We did a fairly good job. Thx. Live n take life the way it becomes to you. Rejoice. Share it . You are speaking my language.
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.
I am 27 and I have been pursuing the love of my life for 7 years now. I have had performence anxiety in the past with my previous partner, but we worked through it togther. Just the other night the woman I want more than anyone else finally gave me the green light, and I was so nervous about not being able to perform that it happened again, and I wasnt able to perform. I just cant seem to turn off the part of my brain that tells me im not good enough, even though I know I am. I have only ever been with one other woman before, and I am afraid I will never be comfortable enough to be intimate with anyone ever again.
My situation is a little different but I'm hoping this advice can help me. I was molested as a child and exposed to hardcore pornography by a friend as a kid before hitting puberty. I wasn't ready and it honestly scared me because at the time i didn't understand what i was seeing. I also grew up in a religious household - raised by my mom who had me as a teen - where my she would, in an attempt to sway me from repeating her mistakes, constantly warn me against having sex because if i get a girl pregnant, i would have to grow up, be responsible, and my (social) life would be over. I was hearing this will before i was even thinking of being sexually active and i really think it's part of why I'm having this issue now. 😑
What would you say to the woman in this situation? We are taught that men always want it more and should always be ready to go if a woman is willing. It can hurt and feel very much like something is wrong with her if her man is not interested when she is.
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
To last longer I tried a delay spray called Promescent that my urologist recommended. I have been able to last a lot longer than usual, a lot longer!.. My lady has been pretty happy with my performance! I practice edging and kegels, edging is helpful but takes time to master. Kegels help as well, but you gotta keep at it. I've had pe since I was younger, and sometimes I just want to just feel free to enjoy the moment and not worry too much about when I will come but rather enjoy the intimacy with my lady, so that’s where the delay spray is useful, you just need to apply and follow instructions.
Yea I have used promescent a lot too and I like it. I have also used samsu oil which works better but the difference is while using samsu oil you have to wait long before the effect kicks in. I.e you prepared ahead of time like 1 hours and can wash off before intercourse
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
I’ve got drug induced anhedonia, I literally have to smoke weed every few hours for my anxiety or it goes hay wire. I’ve noticed I don’t even have a sexual appetite when I’m sober, I only ever want to have sex when I’m high. And even then the anxiety is like the final barrier I have to pass and just hope that I can be high enough to not think about it. This probably is not good for me at all, but I exercise and lift weights, cardio, do yoga stretches and I eat decently healthy. I’m just starting to feel like I was born to be a loner, I get so horny and shit when I’m alone, but when it comes to actually doing it, i have issues. I just feel like I have all of this testosterone that I can’t even make use of, and it’s driving me insane I hope I can overcome this and get along with having a happy life, because I’m in my 20s and I’m watching all my friends get married and I’m just here mad as fuck in my own little drug world.
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Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.
The best sex I’ve ever had was with a very fit personal trainer with a balanced diet, partied in moderation, meditated daily and worked on his pelvic floor mobility and power. The worst sex I’ve had were mainly men who were smokers and beer drinkers with terrible diets. Pay attention, men-health matters!!
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
It could be a combination of the two like me. It's not that I'm not interested in sex, but I'm not interested in ACTUALLY having sex and initiating it. Shit sucks man
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@@cliftonjames785 That sounds like performance anxiety. The fear of not being able to do or feel the way you want during sex is enough to make you run from it, despite wanting it badly.
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
a very skilled and unique description of once cocktail of insecurity, unanswered questions, doubts, inadequacies. in a million years, i can not figure out what happened with him. from king , master commander to ziltch.
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
Well I`m 25 and I have always had an issue keeping an erection. It just get up for a couple of minutes and returns to its flaccid form. I followed this erection dysfunction treatment method *4NaturalEdCure. Com* and boy does it work. The treatment method was too good to be true for me in the beginning, but later discovered t.hat it is effective and it stands true to its claims.?
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
This ED problem is already a thing in the past. Thanks a lot to this ED treatment. I`ve now what I wish to get. I don`t have any problem attaining anymore. Other fellas should try this too. It`s extremely potent and effective.
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
My anxiety is in initiating. After trying to initiate and she goes off on a tirade instead of just saying she's not up to it, I won't initiate unless she gives clear signals she is interested. Then she complains that I don't want her anymore. Can't win.
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant and you are able to love others physically.
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.
@@Lichfeldian--Suttonian I forgot to add in the last sentence: Then sex becomes irrelevant and we can love others physically. Because I don't mean to exclude sexual elements. Rather changing the intention. Loving is the ability Sex is like an expectation that will never be accomplished. But the intention of loving someone is free from expectations. I wish you well. Hope I could clear it up.
To be able to attain a far more spicy action in the bedroom, I recommend you use this ED medication. This got me big points with my girlfriend. According to her, my overall performance in bed has enhanced a lot. This manual taught me to be feel cheerful. Fantastic product with definitely amazing outcomes.
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.
so if i get errctions by myself and with foreplay but sometimes lose them right before or during actual sex, is this purely in my head and nothing physically wrong
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
Today was very embarrassing. I haven’t been with a woman in a long time until today. I was so nervous that I couldn’t get it up. Before when we talked about what we woild do to each other I’d get super aroused. I had to just lay with her for a half hour until I calmed down. I’m praying this isn’t gonna happen every time
Where is this pressure coming from? As a woman, I wouldn´t want a partner who´s always up for it. We´re not machines. And I don´t think any woman would put this pressure on her partner, knowing that we are cyclical and have moments when we´re more interested in sex and others when we aren´t. This wole performance anxiety thing is coming from a masculine ego that can´t stand not being able to do sth. Take a chill pill!
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant and you are able to love others physically.
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
Love you all. "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation present your requests to God by prayer with thanksgiving. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding shall guard your minds and hearts in Christ Jesus." Phil 4:6-7
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
I wish this subjects of male sex problems would always be taken serious by professionals as they are taken serious when women suffer of sexual problems
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
easier said then done. im trying anything and everything, meditation, taking things slow, blindfold, dark room, light room, music, no music, not anticipating or expecting sex or pressure to perform it still manifests in a overwhelming desire in my heart and brain, but my body wont coorporate with me!!! As soon as im alone and i think of her im hard, i rush back in frint of her im soft, shes frustrated and thinks im not in to her. im begging her i am in to her, she i love her and she loves me but she is starting to give me less opportunuty to be intimate because she knows i cant perform and is sexually frustrated. I am too. I want to please her but foreplay can only go so far and she feels distant because we cant go all the way together. i feel less of a man and teying to get out of my head but i feel i am so close to lose her. its only crushing my confidence more. i told her ita been 2 years before our relationship since i have had sex. Do its been along time. have i forgot how to get turned on? dress uo, roleplay, nothing works.
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.
I have terrible performance anxiety and failure every time I go to bed with a new woman, I always think about how she compares me to her previous sexual partners .
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant and you are able to love others physically.
Bless you dr Ogie keep on the good work you have been doing and thanks also for curing me off this erectile dysfunction disease you are truly a God sent towards humanity I appreciate you sir dr Ogie🤗🤗.
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
I am a biological creature that is always ready in pursuit of an outlet except when passing out from sleep deprivation but everything Esther says is still relevant.
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant and you are able to love others physically.
wise....you know a lot about the male experience, and explain it well....do you have a segment like this about female performance/desire anxiety...I'd like to know more about the feminine experience (our overs will never tell the truth, they will say what they think we men want to hear, so I'm trusting you Esther, to give us some true insight)
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
Seems to me that he doesn't know what to do and he thinks he should. "Think about how you can be not in your head and more in your body" I remember saying to Esther, great advice but how does he do that, now he feels even more inadequate. EP said to me "You can do it - do it." So I did. I tell people to 'Huddle' it turns off the. mind and turns on the body. Mm-hmm Mm-hmm Mm-hmm Thank You Esther!! xoxo
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant and you are able to love others physically.
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant and you are able to love others physically.
Women turn men/ husbands/ boyfriend down all the time. According to her men should just get over being upset and deal with it. If the woman is turned down then she goes nuclear. What wrong with me; is there someone else; what is wrong with you/ me and the list goes on. They hold against the man and punish him in other ways. This is a huge double standard.
So many questions about the relationship and the interaction!. It would be easier to take up gardening or go for a jog. Females are like a puzzle with missing pieces. Will I live long enough to solve it? 🙂
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
I don’t think “David” has performance anxiety. “David” has low testosterone, has lost interest in his partner, or is just not sexual. That’s not performance anxiety.
I find i have days and weeks where all is well. My wife always worries when we've not been intimate for a week and I'm the same so anytime this comes up i feel fucking useless and it makes her feel unattractive......and i just feel low. I have anxiety which doesn't help and i take zoloft ......we live in this world where men are meant to be studs. She's an initiator and i try to be because 'man' We talk but it becomes disagreements and a day lost due to awkwardness.
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
So, her advice boils down to: David in New Jersey needs to think (about his issues) and then not think (and be in his body). Easy! Good luck with that, David!
Yeah she is really smart like that and everyone is mesmerized by her accent. So they don't see what you are pointing out. She is like that person always pointing but never reaching out to help.
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant and you are able to love others physically.
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant and you are able to love others physically.
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant and you are able to love others physically.
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant and you are able to love others physically.
Making Love The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
wanna get over performance anxiety? dont think about anything....nothing...just feel...feel her under you, over you, feel and hear the breaths she takes, get lost in her, take your time, spend five minutes kissing the inside of her wrist...pick a spot on her and make your way there as slowly as possible...DONT THINK!
Good advice thanks.
Kid ..... You don’t think they already did all that. Why do you think they are still looking for help.
Easier said than done.
Easy for you to say
But what if the thoughts come creeping in anyway. Not in a concrete way but more as a gut feeling of general anxiety, kicking me out of the moment instantaneously...
An understanding partner is everything. Not getting hard happened to me once and then it happened again because I was worried it might happen again... and it did. Self perpetuating
How did u solve it bro
How did u solve it
Omg, this is exactly what is happening to me. It happened once because I drank too much(which is not uncommon for us men), then for whatever reason that hit me with a bit of shame, so I’ve been running from that feeling of “shame” since. And it’s with my wife who I’ve been married to for 7 years, together 16 years, never ever had issues with sex. And it happened again this morning, I’m just tired of this shit
@@randomthought6681 I'm in the same boat as you been with my partner 10 years got engaged two weeks ago than suddenly we tried it once I went down and I managed to build up again the next day playing it down but it happened again now I can't get hard i feel anxious when I always use to be hard from her
@@toppershots5528 it happens to the best of us gentlemen, you will bounce back, just have this exact convo with ur partners, all u need is an understanding partner, you will look back and laugh at this soon enough.
"Stop thinking and experience more!" that helps me a lot!
What of you cant stop thinking like ADHD
How did i not think of that!
Im being sarcastic...
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.
Becoming self-conscious is the opposite of entering into flow state and if one is thinking and not in flow during sex, it’s probably very awkward. Sex is a surrendered experience. Sometimes people have trauma or other issues and it becomes hard for the body to sync up with the mind or vice versa. My heart goes out to all people struggling.
thansk dude
Hmm, well said.
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.
😢Yeah childhood sexual abuse hasn't left me completely at all and I'm nearly 60 survivors of childhood trauma commonly overthink on everything A real challenge not to Bless you for loving comment ❤
Coming And Going
Making love or sex can be one of the most beautiful experiences or one of the worst nightmares. I was sexually traumatized in my childhood, when I was six years old. That can be a huge obstacle, but I want to use these words to solve a different problem. One reason why making love or having sex can be one of the worst nightmares is forcing yourself to come and not being able to come. Many men and women feel a lot of pressure. And if they can't come, they think they're failing, and inner self-torture ensues. Some even opt for abstinence or celibacy to not make love or avoid sex with others altogether, just because they can't come. What many don't realize is that the nature of opposites lives in every phenomenon, including making love and sex. When you come, you go. And "going" in this context means not coming. We are not failures if we can't come. Making love and sex is not about winning or losing. Learn to appreciate not coming as a truth. Because to supress a truth is to give it force beyond endurance. And remember, as soon as this blockage is no longer a blockage, because you enjoy both coming and going, you can dare to make love or have sex with other people again. And be aware that if you go now, you will come even harder later. So cherish it when you go. You will come so strong because you are going.
1.) EXERCISE,
2.) EXERCISE,
3.) EXERCISE
4.) Meditation (in a quiet place)
5.) Eat well drink enough water
6.) Socialize especially with strangers
Thank you
What's your age?
does this help getting hard?
Feel like I do all of these tho
DON'T WANNA
DON'T WANNA
DON'T WANNA
Meditation maybe...
I’m in my mid 20’s and I have this problem where when I’m with a woman in bed, all I can think of is not getting hard, which causes severe anxiety and ultimately results in not having sex. I am sick of it and it’s completely put me off even talking to girls, which is something I would have never imagined when I was in my teens. I know it’s easy to say ‘don’t think about it’, but that simply makes me think about it even more. I was meeting this girl for 3 months and explained my anxiety to her pretty early on. She would constantly say things like ‘I get it, it’s ok’ and ‘we can get through it’. However, we’re no longer in contact and I feel that my inability to perform for her played a huge factor in that. This is ruining my life and I don’t even know who/what to turn to. The thought of never actually being able to satisfy a woman is killing me, and I feel that it’s only going to get worse.
Name is Trey from Uganda,,just try not focus on not getting hard and just let things BE when you are with any lady.
1.I mean just Exercise,
2. relax your mind(music,movies and all),
3.eat fruits(water Melon),
4.Drink water and Jog(not for long too)
5.And lastly,,DONT THINK!!,,and when u start thinking just say phrase to yourself like "FUCK IT" to have your mind feeling like u dont care about the Anxiety
What you are experiencing is very common. But the real cause is complicated and when a man finds himself stuck in it, theres a sense of hopelessness. Whats funny is the moment the PA is gone it's as if it was never there. Best advice is stop viewing porn if you are. Stop masturbating. Those are pathetic artificial substitutes for the real thing that hold you back. Sexual experience is exclusively meant to be relational. Deeply relational. This is why older couples who have a deep intimate connection well into their 70s can still have sex. It might be rare but does happen. They aren't special but they have a special relationship. This is not a matter of blame but it is a matter of fact that how you feel about a person whom you are about be completely naked with and engage in the most intimate experience with is of vital importance on your mental state. You must be in a relaxed and elated comfortable state of mind to become aroused. So the complicated answer is you must improve your connection with your partner, to the point at which there is no pressure. I know this is easier said than done.
@@kirundatrevor1368 Can you help me please? I'm 19 and Struggling with this. I was a heavy porn user for 4 years and finally 19 years old I finally got a gf. I got head from her 2x with no problems and then when I had sex for the first time it changed my life in a negative way. I don't get elections anymore throughout the day like I sed to and when I do get hard when she give me head it goes away for like 5 minutes... It's so frustrating and I stopped watching porn for 1 month now and theres point going if I have a girl
You know, you can satisfy her without the use of your penis. If you want to actually satisfy her, make her feel wanted, see her as the sexual beauty she is and give this back when you enjoy her and make her climax. None of these things require getting hard and it would still be a good love making session.
Why do you care if you're hard or not? If you're not trying to be hard but it happens anyway, just explain it. And if you are wanting to be but it's not happening, note that there's an assumption that to have a good time, you need penetration.
But that's completely false, and perpetuated by pornography. You don't need anything except to be in the mood, and if you're not in the mood, just say so. If you are but it's not coming up, there's tons of other things you can do that don't require penetration (or your dick explicitly), so why not just do those instead? Take the pressure off. Make the point to have fun, not to orgasm or stay hard. If she wants an orgasm, there's a million other ways to do it, and the vast majority of women don't orgasm from penetration anyway, so if you can master "foreplay", you'll likely become a god to her. Literally there's a million other things you could do that don't require a dick, so maybe try those instead of having expectations that induce anxiety that don't even need to be there.
Her accent just cured me.
Cheers for the Video clip! Apologies for the intrusion, I would appreciate your opinion. Have you tried - Panillian Qiyavid Finder (Sure I saw it on Google)? It is a smashing one off guide for increasing your stamina and getting rid of erectile dysfunction without the normal expense. Ive heard some extraordinary things about it and my cooworker at last got amazing success with it.
Tonal Blasphemy yes! Such a lovely accent .👍🏻
I know right! So soothing and endearing! ❤️
Her accent was very annoying and distracting!!
Cheers for the Video! Excuse me for the intrusion, I would love your opinion. Have you thought about - Rozardner Big Signals Reality (should be on google have a look)? It is a smashing one of a kind product for learning how to last longer in bed without the headache. Ive heard some awesome things about it and my m8 at last got cool success with it.
This woman just doesn't miss. Is 0% bullshit, 100% spot on understanding and articulation.
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.
It is quite obvious that porn has, does and will continue to create rather unrealistic expectations about how men are supposed to perform when it comes to sex.
Makes people think their suppose to be porn star like when. In reality you dont
And women
Fuck pornography. I wish I had tough love growing up. I’m currently on day 17 on no fap and I’ve been feeling quite better. It’s all about self respect.
@@mikeb4471 me too man, been trying to reset for a while. Problem is everywhere you go you're reminded of that shit. Its ridiculous and has gotte. Way way way worse as technology has picked up and sex has become lucrative via online chats and such. Best of luck to you.
Yes, just lost my virginity at 25 after years of porn, It was awfull, maybe it was also my inexperince, but I got soft and was uneble to please her, I almost cryied 😭
Everyone says "Stop thinking." Easier said than done
Well said
I'd say it's not stop thinking it's more controling it or directing it to relax. I usually think it's ok if I don't get it up as long as I'm aroused and concentrating on my partner and giving them enjoyment. So experiencing the enjoyment of being with your partner and the intimacy.
But they're not wrong either, that is literally a big key and major tool for moving forward and changing your perception of yourself and sex and intimacy. Life is all about risks, and you have to be brave and take those risks. I know through my experience in the past with the habits I practiced that I wanted certainty of the future before moving forward. But the future is uncertain, it's an unknown, and that's okay. You you cannot move forward without taking risk and experiencing the world with an open my, to change your perception of the world and yourself, develop your wisdom and insight. It's okay to be afraid, your fears and discomforts are guides to where you should aim and move toward next, they guide you to where you need to go to move forward. If you cower in those fears, you will stagnate and limit yourself. It's okay to be afraid, don't view your fears as bad, but be brave and embrace them, dont fight them. You will change, move forward, and feel lighter.
@@PC.NickRowan Well said man...thank you
@@PC.NickRowan the problem here is negative suggestion. If I tell you not to think about a blue elephant for the next ten minutes, then what are you thinking about for the next ten minutes?
Real issues,real thoughts & real strategies..I like your courage to talk about such issues.
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.
For most of my life, I've absolutely dreaded having to advance a relationship to the physical stage because of this. I've literally only had four sexual partners in my life and I'm fucking 27. the best of those was one I had while drunk. I think the booze lowered my anxiety a bit. Or maybe it's because it was preceded by hours of conversation that allowed me to get comfortable with the person. the worst was when I couldn't maintain an erection because I was way inside my own head. I'm scared I'm literally gonna lose every future girlfriend because of this. I don't know what to do bro.
Seek therapy. Also, letting your future sex partner know about your anxiety helps a lot. It takes a lot of the pressure off.
same man
i was an athelete
yet my ex ditched me because i could not perform better in bed
my PP size is considerately small too
i thought relationship means helping each other out, loving at hard times but she left me because of my inability to last longer in bed
ths thought had destroyed my confidence and self esteem
How long had you known the person you were with while "inside your own head"..?
We'd been dating a few months. We didn't see each other often so visits were for sex. I always felt like I needed to make each visit special.
@@katisothatho624 Hey man - I was the exact same way when I was younger. I would get so tense & insecure & it would destroy erections. Advice to my younger self would be: Tell the girl about this problem right off the bat & if she judges you, she's not worth it. And this is huge, don't think less of yourself. You're a sensitive guy - embrace it!
I know from my experience with this and knowing what humans are like, we want certainty in the future to ensure our own safety. We have survival mechanisms to prepare for the future so we don't get hurt, but the future is a concept and is a product of subjective imagination. It's out of your control, and all the worrying in the world won't change any outcome. Live immediately in the present, keep an open mind, let go of expectations of yourself or who or what you think you should be or how you should think, act, behave or percieve the world. Be open, let experience guide your wisdom and develop your insight.
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
ESTHER PEREL! So happy you have a youtube channel!! Immediately subscribed. Can't wait to hear more from you :D
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.
If anyone should have a UA-cam channel or a podcast, it's you! Thanks for sharing your thoughts and talks with us.
I assumed that this treatment solution will take effect after a long time period. I followed this erection dysfunction treatment method *4NaturalEdCure. Com* utilized it at around 3pm. At 9pm, my wife returned to our house right after her duty at a school function. In those days, I uncovered that the treatment solution was efficient. I got and sustained the best erection I had in 10 years. Is this a chance?
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.
Thank you Esther Perel. I think I am my own problem really I am getting away. From past addictions. I haven't found a woman who can care and helped me open up and let me be uplifted. I do have personal problems. I do have to thank you
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.
I'm 33, and I thought it was E.D. but after doing my research and experiencing, I have concluded that that wasn't the case it was praformance anxiety. It actually started in my late 20s
going over the same thoughts myself these days, its so hard being a man.. why do we have to prove ourselves to the world every second, its so tiring
@@Frebleify prove yourself to the world ? What do you mean 😮
Same as me bro
Great tip. I was always anxious about her perception about me. Now I will stop overthinking and just do it
Sooo... I have A.D.D. some times it's impossible to just "stop thinking" it's like I have multiple movies playing in my head, and there is no remote. Alot of the thoughts are all negative.
@@russellsimmons971 What is the secret formula?
@@rasmustravels spam
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
Wow her voice is so soothing..
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
@@ryu7964 jajaja retaining sex urges for a while is the best way to overcome sex anxiety ;)
@@aguirrechronicles I think just the intention does the magic. Focusing on loving the woman or the man whatever the preference, instead of having the intention to do sex. Because it's a bewitched word. (S)expectations.
This message really spoke to me in a constructive way. Thank you. I feel like I already knew some of these truths and just wasn't living them. I like what you say about getting out of the mind and immersing in the experience of the body. Thank you very much indeed :)
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.
The problem is men have timing issues. If you time the release of arousal wrong (because lets say you are inexperienced) you are going to have issues later on so that is where performance anxiety starts. Then the next time you don't perform because 1, you know your timing is wrong (because men don't control access, woman do) and 2 you know that your worrying is going to exasperate the issue. Coupled with previous failures you are in a very deep hole now. So is your partner. You can even be pushed into this hole deliberately. Stay safe, know your limits and rather abort than fail again.
Is this your real solid advice? I’ve had many sexual encounters with women probably over 30+ and I’m 23. You nailed it on the head with the explanation . Girls control access. Which puts pressure when the timing of arousal is wrong. I usually don’t get like this unless I really really like the girl and what to do everything right and am so worried I won’t please her , for probably some retarded reason . But your solution is to abort the mission w the gorgeous girl and just to fuck hoes ?
@@jshaka3769 I really found that last sentence useless
@@bostoncole4903 your whole reply was useless... My last sentence holds the consensus for the whole paragraph, if you read it.
@@bostoncole4903 btw his advice is solid... don’t stick around for some girl who doesn’t want to give it up to you when you want it , than acts victim when she doesn’t get it and you don’t give it up when she wants it... simple as this... once a girl puts up a bit of resistance or you can tell that she’s gonna make you “work” for it... drop her just like that.... all that will do is ruin you. Us men don’t chase women I don’t work for anything but my money if a women isn’t going to give the 🍑 to me at my convenience then I’m not sticking around her like that to give it at her convenience.. any women who makes you work for ANYTHING, and thinks it’s justified is a a low key sexist feminist. Worst women to ever date, she’ll steal everything from you. (Including your last name and your kids ) and then claim that YOU were lacking in certain areas .
@@jshaka3769 This is a very powerful message my friend. Simping will only tear you apart as a man and you'll lose not only your money but your value and respect as a man. You should be her prize and don't let her tell you what to do, She's not your mother. If she thinks you're not doing enough for her then she should a job. You deserve better. She has to earn your respect and don't give it away cheaply just to satisfy her mind
I had severe performance anxiety and this caused ED. I was just conscious about my body shape but I have since lost 60lb but I’m yet to sleep with someone. Hopefully things will go better this time.
How did it went bro?
@@borisstammes I haven’t had sex yet. I’ll keep you updated. Maybe in a couple of weeks.
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.
@@abdullahal-shimri3091 how did it go bro?
How its been bro?
Its true as a man we do worry whether or not if our female partner is enjoying herself and we provide her enough pleasure.
As far as she is sticking to you you are providing her with pleasure otherwise she will disappear most of the time if not all of the time...
This erectile dysfunction treatment solution *4NaturalEdCure. Com* needs to be utilized by individuals who endure similar problem also because it can provide fast results. I must say I find this treatment method efficient with my case. It was able to boost my endurance. Not only my performance during intercourse has significantly boosted, my blood flow too. This was after Three weeks of consistently following the guide. Even my lover could not help but notice my progress...
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.
After watching and listening to this video. I think we owe to ourselves and our partners to always be more open and honest with them.
Especially when it comes to our sex lives/love making.
No one is a mind reader, so if we deceive our partner or make excuses for why we are not wanting to have sex/make love to them, as often as they want with us, then it can make that person feel neglected and maybe even push them to finding their needs being met elsewhere.
If instead we are honest, I'm sure our partner's would appreciate and also be sympathetic towards us.
Only then can a couple work together to try and resolve any issues and move closer towards having both their sexual needs met
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.
That's easy for you to say alot of females don't want to hear that and if she do decide to stick around you have to ask yourself but for how long she know you can't please her sexually yes you can eat her out but for how long until she don't want that I had a woman today in my bed this was our first time I couldn't get a erection so I blame it on I'm a lil nervous an this hasn't ha to me before now she wants me to come to her place next weekend now I have to come up with and excuse of why I can't come over and going to the doctor are exspensive it's hard on a man even if a woman stay dry she can always use lubricant to help out some
I was mistaken for, n as if I were needy for his constant performance . Esther, that was not the case. I swear I was the one ,who didn't play with his emotions . We tried to talk. We did a fairly good job. Thx. Live n take life the way it becomes to you. Rejoice. Share it . You are speaking my language.
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.
When Esther talks, I shut up and take notes.
I jerk off.
I used something good. This is the best prudyct i think. Here is the review (bit.lу/sxuаlpеаkpеrfоrmаnсе2).
@@Shinkajo same here
@@Shinkajo 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
You are such an expert. I love listening to your relationship advice. Thank you.
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.
@@ryu7964 agreed
I am 27 and I have been pursuing the love of my life for 7 years now. I have had performence anxiety in the past with my previous partner, but we worked through it togther. Just the other night the woman I want more than anyone else finally gave me the green light, and I was so nervous about not being able to perform that it happened again, and I wasnt able to perform. I just cant seem to turn off the part of my brain that tells me im not good enough, even though I know I am. I have only ever been with one other woman before, and I am afraid I will never be comfortable enough to be intimate with anyone ever again.
My situation is a little different but I'm hoping this advice can help me.
I was molested as a child and exposed to hardcore pornography by a friend as a kid before hitting puberty. I wasn't ready and it honestly scared me because at the time i didn't understand what i was seeing. I also grew up in a religious household - raised by my mom who had me as a teen - where my she would, in an attempt to sway me from repeating her mistakes, constantly warn me against having sex because if i get a girl pregnant, i would have to grow up, be responsible, and my (social) life would be over. I was hearing this will before i was even thinking of being sexually active and i really think it's part of why I'm having this issue now. 😑
What would you say to the woman in this situation? We are taught that men always want it more and should always be ready to go if a woman is willing. It can hurt and feel very much like something is wrong with her if her man is not interested when she is.
You make No sense.. So. Please Shut Up
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
To last longer I tried a delay spray called Promescent that my urologist recommended. I have been able to last a lot longer than usual, a lot longer!.. My lady has been pretty happy with my performance! I practice edging and kegels, edging is helpful but takes time to master. Kegels help as well, but you gotta keep at it. I've had pe since I was younger, and sometimes I just want to just feel free to enjoy the moment and not worry too much about when I will come but rather enjoy the intimacy with my lady, so that’s where the delay spray is useful, you just need to apply and follow instructions.
Yea I have used promescent a lot too and I like it. I have also used samsu oil which works better but the difference is while using samsu oil you have to wait long before the effect kicks in.
I.e you prepared ahead of time like 1 hours and can wash off before intercourse
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
Her intellectual and knowledgeable mind is truly attractive, soothing, and mesmerizing... ¡y muy bonita es Esther!
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
I’ve got drug induced anhedonia, I literally have to smoke weed every few hours for my anxiety or it goes hay wire. I’ve noticed I don’t even have a sexual appetite when I’m sober, I only ever want to have sex when I’m high. And even then the anxiety is like the final barrier I have to pass and just hope that I can be high enough to not think about it. This probably is not good for me at all, but I exercise and lift weights, cardio, do yoga stretches and I eat decently healthy. I’m just starting to feel like I was born to be a loner, I get so horny and shit when I’m alone, but when it comes to actually doing it, i have issues. I just feel like I have all of this testosterone that I can’t even make use of, and it’s driving me insane I hope I can overcome this and get along with having a happy life, because I’m in my 20s and I’m watching all my friends get married and I’m just here mad as fuck in my own little drug world.
Great ❤️ from kindergarten age onwards, males should all know this
It would be nice if women were taught not to expect so much. It would help the outcome.
For those of you who are having the same issue as mine, you should use this erectile dysfunction treatment plan *4NaturalEdCure. Com* This can give you quick results. Basing on my experience, I can attest that this works. It was able to enhance my stamina. Immediately after 3 weeks of using it, my overall performance and blood circulation has considerably improved. Even m.y significant other could not help but notice my improvement...
From kindergarten? Sounds sus
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
I recently was with a woman and she gave me the green light multiple times, but the fear of not staying erect or satisfying her ruined it
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.
I love this woman ! So smart and articulate 👏🏼👏🏼
The best sex I’ve ever had was with a very fit personal trainer with a balanced diet, partied in moderation, meditated daily and worked on his pelvic floor mobility and power. The worst sex I’ve had were mainly men who were smokers and beer drinkers with terrible diets. Pay attention, men-health matters!!
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.
As a woman, I want to tell you that you look beautiful tonight! Great advice on the touchy topic!
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
Idk if it’s performance anxiety or my depression that’s responsible for my lack of libido
It could be a combination of the two like me. It's not that I'm not interested in sex, but I'm not interested in ACTUALLY having sex and initiating it. Shit sucks man
This erectile dysfunction treatment solution *4NaturalEdCure. Com* should be used by people who endure related issue as well as it can offer fast results. Basing on my experience, I can attest this really works. My endurance has 100% enhanced. Right after three weeks of pursuing it, my overall performance and blood flow has significantly boosted. Even my significa.nt other couldn`t help but observe my progress...
@@cliftonjames785 That sounds like performance anxiety. The fear of not being able to do or feel the way you want during sex is enough to make you run from it, despite wanting it badly.
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
a very skilled and unique description of once cocktail of insecurity, unanswered questions, doubts, inadequacies.
in a million years, i can not figure out what happened with him. from king , master commander to ziltch.
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
you are amazing , thank you!!!, you capture everything in 6 minutes
Amazing short and sharp video - nicely done, thank you
Well I`m 25 and I have always had an issue keeping an erection. It just get up for a couple of minutes and returns to its flaccid form. I followed this erection dysfunction treatment method *4NaturalEdCure. Com* and boy does it work. The treatment method was too good to be true for me in the beginning, but later discovered t.hat it is effective and it stands true to its claims.?
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
Wow!!!!! I needed to hear that !!!!! Thank you :(
This ED problem is already a thing in the past. Thanks a lot to this ED treatment. I`ve now what I wish to get. I don`t have any problem attaining anymore. Other fellas should try this too. It`s extremely potent and effective.
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
My anxiety is in initiating. After trying to initiate and she goes off on a tirade instead of just saying she's not up to it, I won't initiate unless she gives clear signals she is interested. Then she complains that I don't want her anymore. Can't win.
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant and you are able to love others physically.
Thank you, Ester. Many thanks for sharing. This is like a balm to a wound. :)
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.
@@ryu7964 I think that you are right but I am yet to experience it.
@@Lichfeldian--Suttonian I forgot to add in the last sentence: Then sex becomes irrelevant and we can love others physically. Because I don't mean to exclude sexual elements. Rather changing the intention. Loving is the ability
Sex is like an expectation that will never be accomplished. But the intention of loving someone is free from expectations. I wish you well. Hope I could clear it up.
@@Lichfeldian--Suttonian I wish you all the best on your journey. ❤️☯️🙂
@@ryu7964 Thank you.
To be able to attain a far more spicy action in the bedroom, I recommend you use this ED medication. This got me big points with my girlfriend. According to her, my overall performance in bed has enhanced a lot. This manual taught me to be feel cheerful. Fantastic product with definitely amazing outcomes.
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.
What medication?
so if i get errctions by myself and with foreplay but sometimes lose them right before or during actual sex, is this purely in my head and nothing physically wrong
hi Esther! love you ❤
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
Today was very embarrassing. I haven’t been with a woman in a long time until today. I was so nervous that I couldn’t get it up. Before when we talked about what we woild do to each other I’d get super aroused. I had to just lay with her for a half hour until I calmed down. I’m praying this isn’t gonna happen every time
Where is this pressure coming from? As a woman, I wouldn´t want a partner who´s always up for it. We´re not machines. And I don´t think any woman would put this pressure on her partner, knowing that we are cyclical and have moments when we´re more interested in sex and others when we aren´t. This wole performance anxiety thing is coming from a masculine ego that can´t stand not being able to do sth. Take a chill pill!
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant and you are able to love others physically.
I'm facing the opposite. My girlfriend is horny af, I am too. Then when it comes down to it, my body is like "naaaa. Cba" 😂
I came here to prepare for a musical audition.
Needless to say, I was caught very off guard.
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
I met a painter that works with his wife and he told me that he just couldn’t get enough of his wife. They, apparently, bumped uglys almost every day.
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
Love you all. "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation present your requests to God by prayer with thanksgiving. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding shall guard your minds and hearts in Christ Jesus." Phil 4:6-7
Deep🔥🔥 @pericles DaSilva God bless you
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
Amen
This is the cure right here.... thank you!
I wish this subjects of male sex problems would always be taken serious by professionals as they are taken serious when women suffer of sexual problems
I've always wondered what "performance" means.
It's dependent on the context.
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
By being yourself and loving yourself. You are not “performing” for anyone.
easier said then done. im trying anything and everything, meditation, taking things slow, blindfold, dark room, light room, music, no music, not anticipating or expecting sex or pressure to perform it still manifests in a overwhelming desire in my heart and brain, but my body wont coorporate with me!!! As soon as im alone and i think of her im hard, i rush back in frint of her im soft, shes frustrated and thinks im not in to her. im begging her i am in to her, she i love her and she loves me but she is starting to give me less opportunuty to be intimate because she knows i cant perform and is sexually frustrated. I am too. I want to please her but foreplay can only go so far and she feels distant because we cant go all the way together. i feel less of a man and teying to get out of my head but i feel i am so close to lose her. its only crushing my confidence more.
i told her ita been 2 years before our relationship since i have had sex. Do its been along time. have i forgot how to get turned on? dress uo, roleplay, nothing works.
Great information! I guess this is my case too! Thank you
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.
I have terrible performance anxiety and failure every time I go to bed with a new woman, I always think about how she compares me to her previous sexual partners .
Can anyone tell me if there is a sequel to this one... So once you have the answers to all the questions... What next to resolve them
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
It's not that easy to stop thinking
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
Great video & great advice !
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.
Thank you so much esther .
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
Stopping thinking is utterly difficult. So that's probably not a very practical advice.
what’s your practical advice then?
@@gothboithick, changing your beliefs and thoughts, getting more practice, practicing one or more relaxation techniques (e. g., relaxation breathing).
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant and you are able to love others physically.
Bless you dr Ogie keep on the good work you have been doing and thanks also for curing me off this erectile dysfunction disease you are truly a God sent towards humanity I appreciate you sir dr Ogie🤗🤗.
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.
I was definitely looking for help with my musical performance 😂😂
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
Thank you! :)
I am a biological creature that is always ready in pursuit of an outlet except when passing out from sleep deprivation but everything Esther says is still relevant.
This won’t do anything to help you. Has to be YOU who realise the difference brought on by your therapist sitting in front of you
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant and you are able to love others physically.
wise....you know a lot about the male experience, and explain it well....do you have a segment like this about female performance/desire anxiety...I'd like to know more about the feminine experience (our overs will never tell the truth, they will say what they think we men want to hear, so I'm trusting you Esther, to give us some true insight)
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
"Cito rumpes arcum, semper si tensum habueris"
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
Seems to me that he doesn't know what to do and he thinks he should. "Think about how you can be not in your head and more in your body" I remember saying to Esther, great advice but how does he do that, now he feels even more inadequate. EP said to me "You can do it - do it." So I did. I tell people to 'Huddle' it turns off the. mind and turns on the body. Mm-hmm Mm-hmm Mm-hmm Thank You Esther!! xoxo
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
Never heard this before? Noted
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant and you are able to love others physically.
God I love how you talk... so relaxed and honest... can't stop laughing
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.
With social media women always seem to be looking for the next new thing
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
Okay - I love Esther Perel
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
As a man with back pain that actually effects my performance.... I resent this man for faking back pain.
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
I have so much trouble getting out of my head.
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
wow she hits it right on the head
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
Yes.... but how to stop thinking, is another issue.. i think it might help exercise in that matter. Again, 🤔
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant and you are able to love others physically.
When you are against the clock it really isn't easy to just relax and let go... What can I do?
Women turn men/ husbands/ boyfriend down all the time. According to her men should just get over being upset and deal with it. If the woman is turned down then she goes nuclear. What wrong with me; is there someone else; what is wrong with you/ me and the list goes on. They hold against the man and punish him in other ways. This is a huge double standard.
So many questions about the relationship and the interaction!. It would be easier to take up gardening or go for a jog. Females are like a puzzle with missing pieces. Will I live long enough to solve it? 🙂
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
I don’t think “David” has performance anxiety. “David” has low testosterone, has lost interest in his partner, or is just not sexual. That’s not performance anxiety.
I find i have days and weeks where all is well. My wife always worries when we've not been intimate for a week and I'm the same so anytime this comes up i feel fucking useless and it makes her feel unattractive......and i just feel low. I have anxiety which doesn't help and i take zoloft ......we live in this world where men are meant to be studs. She's an initiator and i try to be because 'man'
We talk but it becomes disagreements and a day lost due to awkwardness.
Unbelievable thank you!
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
So, her advice boils down to: David in New Jersey needs to think (about his issues) and then not think (and be in his body). Easy! Good luck with that, David!
Yeah she is really smart like that and everyone is mesmerized by her accent. So they don't see what you are pointing out. She is like that person always pointing but never reaching out to help.
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
Low-key a hilarious comment
My girl wont let me have the lights on ,,it kills me..how do i get her to leave the lights on without a fight..
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant and you are able to love others physically.
If the woman has the higher sex drive, she is the one who is always initiating sex, and the one who is getting rejected. I, for one, am sick of it.
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
I can feel my girlfriend's frustration too.
Sounds like she lives in Ireland 🇮🇪 and France 🇫🇷 in equal proportion...helpful advice
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant and you are able to love others physically.
me and this girl took a break and its been a month since we’ve had sex but since things have been different everytime we try to i just get nervous
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
Ty very much
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant and you are able to love others physically.
How do you handle lack of performance as an older man?
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
I'd do a lot to have such a voice. Wow.
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a
men have sexual trauma too. don’t be afraid to talk to someone trusted/professional because you deserve healing too.
PSA: This video is totally useless if you have anxiety. Her answer is to stop thinking and experience. As if that's possible.
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant and you are able to love others physically.
If you just think that this might be the last time I’m having sex in life you will be fine
Making Love
The intention of having sex, creates expectations, performance pressure and fear of failure. If one has been traumatized sexually, it's even worse. Making love on the other hand is something, almost every being can do, anytime. Even sexually traumatized people can do this if one is a loving person by nature. And we can practice it with ourselves and with others. Then sex becomes irrelevant.a