Good to see you again, Amanda! You have been through a really stressful time and these things do take their toll on mental health, changes in living situations affecting Autistic people is underestimated. (btw, I am AKA Traci K)
I’ve been wrecked since COVID… was always bad, diagnosed w depression, then bipolar 2, ADD and then thought about BPD and other PD’s. Took a neuropsych eval and didn’t test for Autism. …and no amount of meds fixed me/ my brain, communication and thinking. I kept thinking eventually I would get a career, financial independence, stable relationships and be normal, but it hasn’t happened and I’m 50! I don’t know what to live for anymore and some days I can at least exercise ..other days nothing now No job since COVID can’t make myself because I’m not regular and I’m on feeer meds so I can’t delude myself into fake hopes and ambitions and wanting a job/ to mingle. I don’t know where to turn anymore , how to make sense of my past,understand myself and redefine and find a way to live in the future. I refuse to seek help that is not in a neurodiverse support system anymore. I’d love to find a way to advocate self. I wish I could be born and taught how to live as me- without the trauma and psychodynamic layers that have developed.
Welcome back Amanda, thank you so much for sharing your experience it has helped me identify my own feelings a blind spot for AuDHDers. I am a chemist too and through chemistry I sometimes come up with explanations seeing my self as a compund naturally an odd stereo configuration one interaction with environment as light hits different parts in my peers the whole thing activates some hidden chain reaction one not desirable for the environment and the resisting of disinegrating or reconfugration makes a slight inconvenience turns into full blown existential dread. However we 'look' chill and calm on the outside lol. Keep the videos coming ❤
Feel like I should have been an animal if I’m supppsed to have such poor executive function… It’s so frustrating and anxiety inducing… I won’t say how many ways
Yes! Same w my brain.. more like the flow of thoughts… sometimes they blank often I don’t follow others… sometimes too many conversations at once and I think,” Huh.?” With ideas, occasionally I have three at once or goes away before I express it and another comes in then I go back. Other times, I am assimilating thoughts, priorities, executive functions and things disappear like smoke in air.. doctor appt 5:00-7:00 something else. It’s like they’re appearing and disappearing, floating and I’m trying to get them to remain as well as pin them down in a place After that move the pins so you know where they belong exactly. It almost feels like disorganized thinking or schizophrenia but I reckon it isn’t. Crazy. No amount of Prozac pr Vraylar or anything helps that
Thanks for another great video Amanda. I hope you have a restful, healing day and weekend when it comes. 'I don't give a duck' - love that! 🤣 What month is your birthday? I'm 50 this year too! 😊
@visionvixxen Awww we're a little autistic fifty club! What month are you 50? I completely relate. I try to focus on our autistic advantages - but life is still harder when you're living in a world not made for you 🥲 X
Hello. You seem to have a lot of the symptoms as the people I work with. Just worth considering some of your symptoms could be coming from the medications you've taken. It happened to me too.
@@suddenlyautistic that's a medication. Read the label from FDA and you'll see how many crazy symptoms they can cause on top of the autism. Just want you to be an informed consumer.
Good to see you again, Amanda! You have been through a really stressful time and these things do take their toll on mental health, changes in living situations affecting Autistic people is underestimated. (btw, I am AKA Traci K)
I’ve been wrecked since COVID… was always bad, diagnosed w depression, then bipolar 2, ADD and then thought about BPD and other PD’s. Took a neuropsych eval and didn’t test for Autism. …and no amount of meds fixed me/ my brain, communication and thinking. I kept thinking eventually I would get a career, financial independence, stable relationships and be normal, but it hasn’t happened and I’m 50!
I don’t know what to live for anymore and some days I can at least exercise ..other days nothing now
No job since COVID can’t make myself because I’m not regular and I’m on feeer meds so I can’t delude myself into fake hopes and ambitions and wanting a job/ to mingle.
I don’t know where to turn anymore , how to make sense of my past,understand myself and redefine and find a way to live in the future. I refuse to seek help that is not in a neurodiverse support system anymore. I’d love to find a way to advocate self. I wish I could be born and taught how to live as me- without the trauma and psychodynamic layers that have developed.
glad to see you!
yes. we feel unwell. i hide. i rest. i think and not think. i move around. its not fun. but the other way is messy and more not fun.
Welcome back Amanda, thank you so much for sharing your experience it has helped me identify my own feelings a blind spot for AuDHDers. I am a chemist too and through chemistry I sometimes come up with explanations seeing my self as a compund naturally an odd stereo configuration one interaction with environment as light hits different parts in my peers the whole thing activates some hidden chain reaction one not desirable for the environment and the resisting of disinegrating or reconfugration makes a slight inconvenience turns into full blown existential dread. However we 'look' chill and calm on the outside lol. Keep the videos coming ❤
Thank you and yes, I find myself through chemistry quite often. I like the way it reminds us of our nature, reactivity & relationships.
Feel like I should have been an animal if I’m supppsed to have such poor executive function…
It’s so frustrating and anxiety inducing…
I won’t say how many ways
Yes! Same w my brain.. more like the flow of thoughts… sometimes they blank often I don’t follow others… sometimes too many conversations at once and I think,” Huh.?” With ideas, occasionally I have three at once or goes away before I express it and another comes in then I go back. Other times, I am assimilating thoughts, priorities, executive functions and things disappear like smoke in air.. doctor appt 5:00-7:00 something else. It’s like they’re appearing and disappearing, floating and I’m trying to get them to remain as well as pin them down in a place
After that move the pins so you know where they belong exactly.
It almost feels like disorganized thinking or schizophrenia but I reckon it isn’t.
Crazy. No amount of Prozac pr Vraylar or anything helps that
That does sound tough. I find it hard to focus and complete tasks when I'm burned out. It's definitely a mixture of trauma and autism
Thanks for another great video Amanda. I hope you have a restful, healing day and weekend when it comes. 'I don't give a duck' - love that! 🤣 What month is your birthday? I'm 50 this year too! 😊
September for me. I'm hoping to have a quiet one, somewhere in the forest with my family
@@suddenlyautistic That sounds like bliss Amanda 🥰
Fifty here soon also. More than ever wondering how could I’ve born again and taught how to function efficiently in this world 😂
@visionvixxen Awww we're a little autistic fifty club! What month are you 50? I completely relate. I try to focus on our autistic advantages - but life is still harder when you're living in a world not made for you 🥲 X
Hello. You seem to have a lot of the symptoms as the people I work with. Just worth considering some of your symptoms could be coming from the medications you've taken. It happened to me too.
I don't take 'medications' I take one ADHD medication and often I forgot that so no, it's not that.
@@suddenlyautistic that's a medication. Read the label from FDA and you'll see how many crazy symptoms they can cause on top of the autism. Just want you to be an informed consumer.